Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 38 - Chicken Fingers and Two Giant Weiners

Episode Date: December 23, 2019

Ricky's planning to get f**ked out of his header and cook up some awesome chicken fingers for Christmas! But before that, the Boys have to investigate an unusual anatomical anomaly... what in the F**K?!? Also: Bubbles is the handsome judge in a new game called If You Had To!

Okay boys, I'm just gonna tell you right out of the gate, I have nothing prepared today, so the show's probably gonna suck. What do you mean, nothing prepared? Nothing prepared. It's alright. I got one thing we're gonna do, but I didn't, I wasn't able to look up anything. Well, I got something we can talk about, and I know... So we're just getting right into this, eh? Right into it.

No introduction? Park after dark. Welcome. It is no longer dark, and we are in the park. And I'm on the liquor. What are you drinking, Ricky? Jungle juice, man. A little bit of everything that was left with some grape Kool-Aid.

It's not too fucking bad, either. That's the worst. It's not bad. Boys, Christmas is coming up. Oh, shit. I want to make some special fuckin' chicken fingers this year. Superfan sent me this chicken finger recipe. What the fuck is it?

We're gonna pick the best ones, and we're gonna fuckin' make it for Christmas. What is it? Chicken finger cookbook? Yeah, man. Show me the front. Decent. Oh, yeah.

And there's like fuckin' 20 different kinds, man. That's the perfect book for you, Ricky. What are you gonna make us? Coconut chicken fingers, that sounds, I don't know. I've made those before. Bisquick chicken fingers. Made those before. Buffalo style chicken fingers.

Cornflake ones are the best, man. Made all these before. Give me something I've never- Ultimate chicken fingers. What's the ultimate? I believe mine are the ultimate. Well, let's the ultimate? I believe mine are the ultimate. Let's find out. I believe mine are the ultimate.

Anyway, I'm going to pick a chicken finger, and we're going to eat the fuck out of some chicken fingers. See, you should have been cooking these today. We could have been eating these today. I just got the fucking book, man. All right. We'll cook some later if you want, when we're fucked up out of our headers.

Out of our headers? Chicken fingers, yeah. You know what? Speaking of headers, Buzz, I want you to, I mean, this is fucked up. I'm trying to wrap my head around this, whether this is a good thing or a bad fucking thing.

Just flip to the third page. What's this in front of you, man? Is that a game? Just a second. The game can fuck off for a second. What am I looking for? Third page. Just go to the third page what's this in front of you man is that a game just a second the game can fuck off for a second what am i looking for let's go to the last page fourth page parmesan cheese man i'm not feeling it jesus murphy that's got to be photoshop no it's real man this guy's like a fucking legend now excuse Ricky. Excuse me. Yes, sir? You ever seen anything like that? Jesus Christ. What the fuck is that?

That's not real. That's real, man. That can't be. I think it's auto-shocked. No. Buddy is like fucking... This guy's a legend right now. He's got two wieners.

He's got two wieners. And they're both eight inches. He's like a double cannon right there. I don't think that's not the part that amazed me. Well, they've got a measuring tape there. You've got to look at the measuring tape. Are those hard or soft? We should just show them. Or do they just stay like that?

I don't know, man. I don't know if that's... That's pornography. You can't show that. Or I guess it's for medical standards. This is a medical thing here we're talking about. I don't know. I think that's photoshopped. It's not photoshopped, man. He's for a medical standpoint. This is a medical thing here we're talking about. I don't know. I think that's Photoshopped. It's not Photoshopped, man. He's all over the internet. Is it good or bad? Yeah, I mean. Well, how does it make

you feel, Julian? Does it make you happy? No, I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about the guy with the two dicks. Does it make you excited to meet him? You should show that to Randy. I'm sure Randy's fucking already. Actually, just get that blowing up no that'll see you guys a picture Christmas gift for Andy you're not blowing that up

no let's blow that up let's go to Staples fucking blowing that up poster size one turn it over so he's got two giant wieners got two wieners man how many does he have four balls I can't really tell don't want to look that close either I don't know I How many? Does he have four balls? I can't really tell. Don't want to look that close either. I don't know. I don't think he does have four balls, but they do work. He'd be perfect for the Bermuda Triangle. Remember her from high school?

Who? Wendy. The girl I dated for a while. That wasn't real, man. It was real. Trust me. I just didn't know what you were doing. Who was Wendy? They called her Bermuda Triangle.

I don't remember her. She had two vaginas. Two vaginas? Yes. Ricky, you never dated somebody with two vaginas? Yes, I did. It was, now that I think back, pretty awesome. It wasn't a vagina.

What was it? It was her ass. No, man. It was, but no. That's why they called it the Bermuda Triangle. She had two vaginas, one side by each. And then that was down here. So that was her ass. No, man. It was. That's why they call it the community triangle. She had two vaginas, one side by each. And then that was down here. So that was the triangle.

It was there, the vagina. The ass was there. But instead of being back there, she was born with it kind of right there with the fucking. Did you ever go down on her, Julian? Because I did. Well, you were eating ass. At first I was like, what the fuck? And then I was like, wow, this is kind of cool.

And just went with it. Ricky. I wonder whatever happened to her. The ass was where the taint was. I still dream about her, you know? I thought they called her Bermuda because she used to go to Bermuda, didn't she? She's from Bermuda, yeah.

That's I guess part of the name. I didn't know she had three. But these people are soulmates. So she had three- Connected. Openings there are soulmates. So she had three... Connected. Openings there. Clear openings. Two.

Yes. One side by each. She used to get two periods. She could get pregnant two ways if she wanted to. She only had to take one birth control, but she said if she didn't get pregnant in both, which would be weird. So then if this guy got together,

they could get both of them pregnant at the same time god it's such a crazy thing how does it all work you know what it's gonna fucking hurt my brain i need to get it off this for a bit we need to go to something else i don't think wendy had two vaginas i'm just gonna throw that out there definitely didn't i touched I touched all two of them. Eight and you did everything to, you know, the back end there, bud. Jesus, Murphy. The back bum. Well, I mean...

Well, I wish Wendy was here right now. Ricky, if you could have, if you could be this guy, would you do that? Would you like to have that? I gotta just, I need a break from it and I'll get back to it. It's hard to wrap my head around it all, but there's so many questions. Okay, when you're ready to talk about the two penises, you get that. Two vaginas is one thing, but two penises, that's a whole different ball of wax. Well, here's your take on it.

Boys, got a new game to play. What does that mean? It's called If I Had To. Oh, Jesus. If you had to. Do you guys want baked chicken fingers or good ones? Baked one, man. Cajun style?

Buffalo style? Straight up cornflakes on it, man. Cajun style, buffalo style. Straight up corn flakes on it, man. You've made those before. What are sticky fingers? Stink, what? Sticky fingers. Stinky, sticky.

Not stinky. I know, man, I've got, you know. Okay, here, you get five cards each. Can you win money in this game or? They're all stuck together. Okay, here, Ricky. You got five bucks in hand? Nips,'re all stuck together. Okay, here Rick. Nuts, baked, chicken fingers. One, two, three.

Fucks my wallet. Four, five. You don't like yogurt, do you? No, man. One, two. Sorry, can we use an egg? Yes, you can use an egg. And corn flakes, you like corn flakes.

I fucking love corn flakes. Okay. One, two. Seasoning salt. Three. Need some of that. Four. Five. So, here's the fucking, uh, the ones with the sugar on them.

What are they, the cornflakes? The... Honey nut? No, frosted flakes. Don't use those with the... Honey nut? Frosted flakes. That sounds good.

No? Not good? See, I know. That's why I said that. Don't fucking use it. Okay, boys. So, we each got five cards. Don't look at them yet. Okay. Everyone in the group has dealt five cards.

The most attractive person is judge first, so I will be the judge for the first round. What do you do with these cards? Just don't look at them yet. Chicken fingers with honey mustard sauce? Yes. Each player then plays a card face down that they think the judge... That's my tower. Would you fucking listen to me?

Okay, I'm listening. I'm reading the rules. I'm getting hungry, man. It's those fucking edibles. Each player, so you look at your cards, and then you play a card face down that you think the judge would least want to do. Okay. Okay? Just one card?

The judge turns over and reads the cards aloud Each player then makes their case to the judge why their card is the worst of the cards that have been played So you you argue your point this is before you see it You're gonna look at all five so look at them So we're looking at our car looking at your cards and then pick the one that you think me the judge Would least like to do. Okay. Oh, my God.

Okay. All right. Okay, so now you pick the one that you think me, the handsome judge, would least like to do, and then I'm going to read them, and then I'm going to judge. That's how you play. And I may ask... So I just put one card right here? The one, yes.

If that's the one you think I would least like to do. Oh, for you. For me. Oh, fuck. I'm the judge. Pay attention. It says the most attractive person is judge first. Clearly.

Me. And then I may ask follow-up questions about the cards. The judge chooses the worst card. The person who played this card wins one point. Everyone draws a new card, so they have five cards in their hand again. The judge now rotates to the left. The first player to five points wins. Can we at least make it so that, you know,

we put in five bucks where it wins gets the pot? We'll play it for five bucks. All right. Okay, so this is yours and this is yours? Yes. I guess I probably don't play until, yeah, okay. So here's how we do it. Okay.

All right. This is going to be fun, Bob. First round of if you had to. So Julian thinks this would be the worst thing for me to do. Have hooves. Yeah, that's bad. I wouldn't mind having hooves. Oh, fuck.

Come on, man. Well, let's just see now. Let's see if this is worse. These are way easier than that. Let each of your friends choose a tattoo to put anywhere on you. Well. Do you get to choose the friend? Let each of your friends choose a tattoo to put anywhere on you.

So, do I want to walk around with hooves? Or do you want to walk around with this on your forehead? Because that's what I'd be fucking saying. Get that going. Right down your cheeks. But let me just think. I could probably get the tattoos removed. Hooves is a major surgery.

And where do I get feet? Oh, so it's between these two. I got to pick one of these. Oh, man. As the worst one that I would not want to do. You're stuck with hooves, man. So it's between these two. I got to pick one of these. Oh, man. As the worst one that I would not want to do. You're stuck with hooves, man. That's not a good thing. I don't know.

Tattoos of cocks all over your face. Cocks all over your cock. You'd be covering a cock. See, this is pretty good game. It's hard. If I had hooves, I'd basically be a minotaur. Yeah. Do I want to be a fucking minotaur?

Or do I want to temporarily have have cock tattooed on my face, which I can get surgically removed? Very good question. You could probably get attachment for the hooves to make them in a pretty normal feed. No. And then you take that off, if you wanna climb up.

This is what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to make the argument for your case. You'd have a lot better traction. If I could get attachments, then I could have feet and hooves. If I wanted to go run in a race, pull my feet off, and I got hooves like a horse. You'd be climbing mountains pretty good. Climb a fucking mountain. I think I might say the worst one.

Yeah, but are the hooves on your hands, too? That's okay. We didn't. Oh, shit. We're talking on your hands. No, it says have hooves. I wouldn't have hooves for hands,ves on your hands, too. That's okay. We didn't... Oh, shit. We're talking on your hands. No, I don't. Yeah, no, man. Well, it says have hooves.

I wouldn't have hooves for hands, would I? Does a goat? Well, it doesn't say. Become a goat. I think all four things... Okay, that changes things. See? This is what the game's about, though, right?

Okay, I've come up with the recipe. Just wait. I'm going to have to say have hooves would be the worst. Fuck! I knew it. Because if it's right and I end up with hoof hands, that's not good. I'd be, well, look. Oh, yeah, you'd be fucked.

There's me trying to drink right there. Oh, you'd be walking around suing on them. No, well, I couldn't even get the cap off. Imagine trying to take a piss. Here's me drinking with my hooves. See, you can do it, no problem. You can do that, but... Okay, so Julian's one point ahead.

That's fucking bullshit. Five bucks, coming my way. No, not yet. Okay, so these go in the back. Do we get new cards? Like this. And you guys each get one new card for your hand. So there's one.

Did you hear about the, uh... and now the judge moves to julian so it's between me and ricky did you hear about the fucking cocaine sweater walmart was selling i did hear about christmas where fuck i wish i would have got one they fucking pulled it man before i could buy one they were selling a sweater and it had a little weird snowman on it and he had a bunch of lines of cocaine cut up on the table in front of him with a straw about to do them kids were fucking and walmart was selling it i don't think they knew what he was doing somebody some old guy probably just looked at it oh he must have some snow laid out what if there was like a christmas tree with a bunch of weed leaves on it doing the same thing would they remove well the stork? Well, that's different, I think. Or would they take it out of the store?

I think weed's legal. They might leave that. But I mean, blasting rails of coke? Yeah, you don't want that. It's a great sweater. Snowman fucking snorting snow. I love it. Wish I would have got one.

It's probably worth a fortune now. Ricky, you totally didn't get it, man. Okay, Ricky, you got to read your cards. And me and you, this is for the worst thing that you could see Julian doing. Oh, man. Oh, shit. No, Julian would do that one no problem. He would probably enjoy that one.

That one he'd... No, see, Julian will just figure out a way to make money off all these. Yeah, good luck, boys. And you should put your five bucks on the table. Where's mine? Fuck's sakes. Well, you can't win this round. Only me or Ricky can.

I'm gonna say this one, I'm gonna say this one, but I think Julian won't give a fuck. Because he's... Because I don't give a fuck. There's mine, there's Ricky's. All right, so what do I gotta do? So you look at both of these, read them, and then you got to decide... Yeah. ...which one is the worst.

The one you would least like to do. Do you want to borrow five bucks? You got to loan me five bucks. I'm going to combine two recipes, gentlemen. I'm going to combine the ultimate chicken fingers with the cornflake chicken fingers. We're going to do a double batter. First we're going to batter a flour. I got five bucks for you. You owe me seven, though. Then we're going to batter the cornflake chicken fingers. We're going to do a double batter. First we're going to batter a flower. I got five bucks for you.

You owe me seven, though. Then we're going to batter the cornflakes. Why did I miss that part? I don't owe you seven. Yeah, you do. You already said yeah. Okay, what am I doing here? So you read them and you've got to decide which one is the one you would least like.

All right, give birth to an evil alien who will cause the downfall of humanity? I mean, that's a pretty easy one. You could kill him. Would you like that one? Anytime anyone sneezes, they must do it in your face. Ooh, fuck. See, that fucking grosses me out. It's a fucking alien.

So I'm giving birth to an alien. Yes. You could kill the little fucker as soon as he pops out. Maybe you can't. Maybe he's a fucking impervious, birth to an alien. Yes. You can kill the little fucker as soon as he pops out. Maybe you can't. Maybe he's a fucking impervious, unkillable alien. Clearly he is if he's going to be the downfall of humanity. So you're going to just let the whole world get killed because you're scared of a sneeze? But how long?

I mean, I don't know, bubs. Maybe if I'm like 75, I won't give a fuck. There'd be thousands of sneezes today. But if I'm 75 and I just had, you know, someone sneeze in my face for fucking decades, not cool, man. You'd get used to it. No, you wouldn't. You'd be like, oh, you might start to enjoy it. All right, this would have to depend on how...

You can't have an alien. What? You can't have a fucking alien. You can't give birth to that alien. I forbid it. That would hurt, wouldn't it? Well, it's going to come out your ass. How do you know he's not fucking 12 feet tall?

And you've got to shed him out. That's true. He could tear your hoop wide open. As soon as he starts coming out, just blow his head off with a fucking handgun. Or get me to do it. And then he's stuck. Okay, who gave me this card? Do I get to know this?

What? Yeah. Yeah? Which one's that? The birth to the alien. That's me. Okay. I think that's the worst one. Sneezing in your face or the downfall of the world?

Imagine a thousand people a day sneezing in your face. Why would there be a thousand? He doesn't even know a thousand people. Says everybody's... I know a thousand people, man. But it's only...it's...how many times a day do people around you sneeze? You probably would go weeks without even one sneeze in your face. Imagine Marguerite with all of her phlegm. Oh, yeah, okay, so anytime anyone sneezes.

Around you, anyone around you. It's not going to be people, you know, in Ecuador. They might fly in. All right. They would not. I can't believe you even got to think about this. Just because I can't imagine giving birth to something which, you know, is not fucking easy. Especially an alien.

Yeah. I don't think it'd be 12 feet tall coming out of me. That'd be impossible. Well, he might. But I'm gonna have to go over that. The alien one. Fucking cases. Who gets the cards? So these are the two cards? No, I'm the fucking judge.

So I scored no points. It's 1 two cards. Now I'm the fucking judge. So I scored no points. It's one-one, bubbles versus juniors. So if I win this next round, I win. So I need a card, or Ricky gets one more. No, I'm the judge, man. Yeah, but you still get a card for the next round. And I get a card.

You still have five, right? So back to the two penises. Yeah, man. Like, would you piss out of both sides? That's the thing. Like a fork? Like, I mean, I'm not. Pinch one off and just piss it one.

Oh my God, I can't believe this card came out. Would you even, like, could you get one hard and keep one soft? Like what happens? You're getting excited. It depends on how the plum is. Like what happens at the same time? It depends how it's plumbed inside.

If it's got a T-valve for the blood going to your wiener, then you could probably control it. If it's just, you know, a Y, a Y-valve with no shutoffs. What about an orgasm? Same argument. It's going to depend on the plummet. When this one gets totally turned on, does this one go off too or?

Like if you're jacking, yeah, if you're jacking one, does the other one like? Again, it depends on the plummet. If he's only got two balls. You're definitely getting, so you're getting one load or two loads? Well, work with me here. He's got two balls.

All right. They, is one ball sectioned off to this guy and one ball sectioned off to him? Or are both balls plumbed into a T-valve that goes to both wieners? This is what we need to know. Okay, there's been times... If there's one ball exclusively wired to one wiener... Then he's getting two loads.

It depends. All right, listen to this. This might help us out. Does he avoid public washrooms? He says he kind of has to. But there's been times where I've had to use the urinal because I have one muscle that controls my piss, lets the stream flow out of both his dicks.

So once I pinch it off, one of them, oh, my God, it comes out of both. So it's a two-handed mission. So he pinches it off, it stops the stream from the two dicks. Pinches what off? His piss. From where? If he holds it.

If he's like, you hold your piss. You can cut it off. You can cut it off. So what's he saying? It comes out both uncontrolled? Yeah. So he's got a Y splitter in there with no valve shut off. But he can pinch it off, both of them stop.

Right. So if he has to pinch it off before the split. So the pinch off starts before the split. Yeah. So I would think the orgasm would be the same. I would think so. Same tubes, isn't it? Unless the balls are before the split. Yeah. So I would think the orgasm would be the same. I would think so. Same tubes, isn't it? Unless the balls are wired completely different.

Yeah. Okay. But they usually get erect at different times. Would he masturbate with two hands? He might. Or he might just put them together. The left one starts to get- You know, like when you're holding two hot dogs

because you got your drink? Might be like that. All right, here's some more information. The left one starts to get semi-hard first, then stops at a certain point. The right one then kicks. So he's got an overflow valve. The right one gets rock hard,

and if I'm warning enough, the left one will continue to stiffen up and get bigger. Okay, so I didn't know that. Once in a while, with a cock ring on one, they both get equally hard. So there's a check valve in there with back flow. Check valve.

He's got a check valve with back flow installed. I mean, you know, it wouldn't be metal. Whoa! Okay, here's another one. It's kind of like the fucking inside of the Titanic,

the way they built the, you know, it fills up to a, and then it spills over into the other wiener instead of... I've got some information that everybody wants to fucking know. Okay.

Okay. If someone's working on the left cock, like jacking it. Yeah. You have to suck out the, all right? The right one just blasts it everywhere. Every time. Oh, really? Oh, so it's all.

So the right one is like this. The plumbing's all fucked up. The right one's the alpha fucking cock. The left one's just like, eh. You know, suck it's all, the plumbing's all fucked up. The right one's an alpha fucking cock. The left one's just like, eh, you know, suck it out. So. Okay, well. Okay, so the plumbing and the muscles are not split evenly. No, one cock's better than the other.

There's a dominant. There's a lazy cock and a, like, come on, cock. Okay, glad we cleared that up. Whose turn is it? You guys gotta throw a card to me. So me and you have to compete. Oh, man, he would never understand. I do find it fascinating, I have to say.

Okay. I don't know, I've got it narrowed down to two. I cut it down to two as well. Okay. I don't know, I've got it narrowed down to two. I cut it down to two as well. Okay. Would Ricky, would you care about that? Suppose you got chlamydia in one, would it transfer over to the other, or would it be just a second?

No, Ricky, no. So you could potentially have chlamydia in one cock and use your other cock. And have a clean, yes. So the chlamydia cock gets secured. As long as the piss holes don't touch when you're in your underwear. If they somehow got, you know, wedged in there and the two piss holes were end-to-end, game over.

So if he did hook up with Wendy, it would just be normal? Just two penises going into two vaginas? Well, it depends on how was hers laid out. Was it over-under or side-by-side? No, side-by-side. Well, yeah, they'd be a perfect match. Fuck. Are we really still talking about this guy's double gut?

This guy, you know what? Did you throw a card in? He plays for both teams. No. Oh. Which is handy for this guy. Oh. Yeah, he says that...

I'm gonna say this one. At the same time? In the past, girls were nervous and some of them changed their mind at the last minute. Dudes never change their mind. They always want it even if they're freaked out a little bit. Wow. What? Dudes aren't afraid of this thing.

Now here's another question. Dudes? If you're a dude and you like, you know, wieners, you'll want this. You mean to own it or? To do things with them, man. Oh, he goes both ways. Is there enough separation where you could get

two going at once? I would think so. Yeah, man. That's going two at once. You're getting that going. If you had them... Yeah, Jesus. You're going this way.

What kind of an angle can he get? Can he go 180? Okay, these cards are fucked, guys. What? These cards are fucked. All right, what are they?

Live webcams on. Who gave me which fucking card? Live webcams on you 24-7. Oh, my God. That's him. Do you have a favorite penis? The right one, he said. The alpha cock?

The left one has a grudge against me. LOL. Okay, so he's also crazy. That's nice. He's got some problems. But there's pills. Can he take pills for the left one? He could probably take Viagra.

But it would probably work on both. Well, he'd probably have to crush it up and then pack it down in like a musket. So that he'd get it right in the right... Right. Well, because if fucking Alpha Penis gets on it, he's going to be painful. He'd have to crush it up and put it in manually like a musket, I think. Unless, if you got the alpha cock heard,

put the cock ring on, then took the Viagra. The alpha cock's gonna get hurt anyway. He's gonna go anyway, man. I can't believe we're still talking about this. All right, what book? Live Webcams on you 24 seven. I've had that happen already. For the rest of your life.

Or be widely regarded as the stupidest person in the world. Well- Wow, did you fucking set this up? No, I swear to fuck, I just pulled that right out of there and I couldn't decide if Ricky would be proud of that or if he would hate it. Well, yeah, this is a tough one. Yeah, that would be tough. You'd be the most famous, you'd be famous around the world. So I don't know if you would be proud of that or if he would hate it? Well, yeah, this is a tough one.

You'd be famous around the world, so I don't know if you would enjoy it. But I wouldn't want to be known as the stupidest person. That's crazy. Okay, you know how much you like to jack the goalie, right? 24-7, think about it. Maybe I'd be famous for that. The guy just doesn't give a fuck.

This is what I was afraid of. Ricky, you don't want to be known as the stupidest person in the world. No, I mean I'm definitely one of them. You don't want to be known as the guy that jacks off ten times a day. Smarter of the people. But you can jack off under blankets and things. But he's still known as the guy that jacks off ten times a day. So what? He'd probably get more dates.

People feel sorry for him and say, oh my god, I see that you crank it 10 times a day. Who wants to be known as the dumb guy his entire life? Like the whole world. Exactly. Thanks for arguing my point. I definitely don't want to be known as the dumb guy. No, they already know that though. That's what I'm saying. I'm not, Fubbs.

How dare you call him dumb? I'm one of the smarter people that I've ever met. I agree, Ricky. You don't want to ruin your... No, man. No. Go on to social media and read what people are saying about you. I agree, Ricky. You don't want to ruin your... No, man. No. Go on to social media and read what people are saying about you. You are very smart.

People think I'm dumb? They got shirts fucking saying shit. Nobody does. Get two birds stoned at once. You know how many people have that on their shirts? It's not because it's wrong. He's trying to manipulate you. Ricky, you're a smart person

and you don't want to be known as the dumbest person in the world. I'm going to have to get another card from each of you. No, you need to pick. That's why the game is called If You Had To. Had To. I know, but one of you guys is going to win. Yes, me.

You know what? You get the webcams on you 24-7, you're in hell for the rest of your life. You already have cameras on you most of the time. Who gives a fuck? No, man. For another couple hours a day. time. Who gives a fuck? No, man. For another couple hours a day. Fuck. Who gives a fuck?

Live webcams are only 24-7. Ricky, every time you walk out the door, people, hey, look, it's the dumbest guy in the world. No. Hey, dumb guy. They're already used to it, though. I'd be getting in fights. I'd probably kill someone and go to jail.

Exactly. Definitely. You know what? I can't be known as the dumbest guy in the world. Oh, you're kidding me. This definitely can. You know what? I can't be known as the dumbest guy in the world. Oh, you kidding me? This is bullshit. Now, you know what? This game is...

You guys, yeah, you're probably splitting that too, aren't you? No. That's mine. It's going right in there. And I don't owe you two bucks for boring it either. All right. Well, chicken fingers galore. Jesus. It's just a hot dog, man. What are you Googling over there that you need? All right, well, chicken fingers galore.

Jesus. It's just a hot dog, man. What are you Googling over there that you need? No, it just came out. It was, you know, with the other stuff. You're over there searching double decks, obviously. Double cock. You know what? If I was that guy, you know what I would do?

Two eaters. He should open a fucking saloon called Double Deck Saloon. It sounds legit. And it sounds like two guys named Richard run it. And then they get in there and... That's what he should serve, double hot dogs on a bun. The Double Deck Saloon. Or the Double Deck Ranch.

All right, maybe we should get a hold of him, see if he wants to open it up. Maybe he opens a whorehouse called Double Deck Ranch. You ever tried Bisquick? Jesus. Where he specializes in DPs. You ever tried Bisquick? I don't know. Jesus. The fuck? Where he specializes in DPs. You ever tried Bisquick chicken fingers?

I've made them. No. I gotta go. Where are you going, man? I gotta go. I just got shit to do. Yeah, I gotta go to the mall with my 15 bucks. Get chips poppin' a bar.

Oh my god, we're gonna have fun next week. Okay, start making them up, man. Excuse me. It's gonna be the best Christmas fuckin' chicken figures you've ever put in your goddamn face. Is next week our Christmas one? Here, Pops. I don't know. I'll take that with you.

Here. I think it's got to be close to Christmas, isn't it? Next week. Next week is Christmas. Next week, tune in for the Christmas perk after dark. Where we're going to hand out presents to each other. Yeah, we're going to eat the fuck out of some chicken figures. And we're probably going to still be talking about this dude.

Well, you probably will, because you printed it off. Are they both circumcised? They look like it. Yeah. Wow. Jesus Christ, boys. Two operations. It's fascinating.