Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 39 - Certified Drinkers

Episode Date: February 19, 2024

They've been everywhere man, they've been everywhere... and drank London and Las Vegas dry! Find out what the f**k they got up to in Sin City, and who went on a dancing date. Plus: Shower snacking with Jessica Biel, and truffles that will get ya high!

To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the SwearNet Trailer Park Boys app. Fuck off. 3, 2, 1, go. 3, 2, 1, go. Alright, this is Park After Dark, Friday. Boys! February 16th. I was just doing the intro 1, go. 3, 2, 1, go. All right, this is Perk After Dark, Friday. Boys! February 16th. I was just doing the intro here, man.

How you doing, man? You look a little fucked up today. You're fucked today. I am fucked. You've been fucked all week. You trying to grow a beard or what? Maybe I am. Well, it's coming along nicely.

So we landed about three hours ago from Las Vegas. Yeah. And we are fucked. But we're still gonna try to pull this off. This is almost starting to feel like a job, boys. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because today is a job.

Today I wanted to call in sick. Do you get paid for this? Probably. We went and saw U2 at the Sphere, didn't we? Did we? No, we wanted to. We went and saw U2 at the Sphere, didn't we? Did we? No, we wanted to. We didn't go.

No, we just stood up. Get fucked around. How do I have memories of it then? You sat out in the parking lot. We stood out there and just stared at it for fucking hours, man. Like hours. How do I have memories of the concert? Because you can still see it on the outside of the big...

It must be U2 videos. You got sucked into the Sphere, man. The big ball. I'm going to get sucked into the Sphere.. The big ball. Mama gets sucked into the sphere. That ball is fucking crazy, by the way. What? The big ball. The sphere.

It's fucking nuts. It's huge, man. Yeah. It's pretty clear. I like when they make it into the moon. I like the eyeball. Yeah. Yeah, it's cool.

And you know what? Because we were working at this fucking what is it cannabis trade show man trade show we didn't get we have we do have an open invite to go to the ufc complex to check that place out which would be awesome we didn't go though we didn't go i know because of work man that's what i'm saying today feels feels like work. Fuck. Las Vegas felt like work. It's work. Did launch our fucking blunts, though. Those are badass. Launched our, what are they, pre-rolled?

Blunts, yeah. Blunt tubes. Different flavors. Just tubes. Yeah, and the guy that... They're just the tubes? They're not pre-rolled joints? It's just the tubes, man.

Just the tubes, man. Just the tubes. It's just the tubes. Hey, did you ever lube your tube? Uh, you... Bubs, come on, man. My tube... Did you or did you not lube your tube? Come on, people...

Yes, most likely. My tube is lubed. It's permalubed. That'd be awesome. Permalube. In your tube. Yeah, but then you're walking around with a lubed up fucking horn on you. That's... No, man. No, that's not your tube. That's be awesome. Permalube. In your tube. Yeah, but then you're walking around with a lubed up fucking horn on you.

That's, no, man. No, that's not your tube. What's your tube? Your tube's your arse. Oh. Oh. I didn't know that. No, see, you got me there.

Your shit tube. It's a shit pipe. It's working all right, but it's, no, I don't put lube on it. You don't lube your tube? Do you lube your tube? No. Do you know anybody that does lube their tube? Randy.

Okay. All right. Randy's constantly lubing his tube. That's good to know. Okay, boys, let's get her underway here. All right, what do you want to do? Oh, fuck. I want you to slam me down on this table, Ricky. Put me right

through it. And then just beat the fuck out of me. Really? I just need a good beating. Well. Haven't had one in a while. I haven't beat the fuck out of anyone for a while. You know what? I want to beat the fuck out of that old cocksucker that was sitting next to me on the plane that gave me this

fucking cold, man. Yeah. Fucking sneezing and coughing all over your head. Well, you were kissing him. I wasn't kissing him, Bubz. Your hand ended up in his lap. None of that happened. You fell asleep and your head went right in his crotch. No, there was that one time he got up to use the bath.

Hey, can I use the bath? Can I get up to use the bath? Fucking. Just want to fucking crank somebody. You should have. You can crank Bubz instead. If he had been 70, maybe, but the guy was probably 82. Pretend Bubz is him and slam him through the table.

You can slam me right through the table and then kick the fuck right out of me. Right now? Yes. I need a good beating. That would be amazing. I have not had a good, you know what? What? Easy on that shit.

You're talking stupid. No, I'm just teasing you. I know you wouldn't beat me up. I like your attitude, though. I know you guys wouldn't beat me up. I wouldn't say it if I thought it was... We came from the airport. We were going to have a nap.

Bubba's was like, nope. We're going to power our way through. That's all right. Man, boys, we drank a lot. We got cut off again on the plane. What the fuck? We've been getting cut off every time on the plane. That's because you get too out of hand.

Seven drinks is not too much. No, it's not the drinks. It's the fucking running up the aisle on the arms of the chairs. You've got to settle down with that. You know what we should have? Floor is lava, he's saying. Of course. We should bring a drinking resume on the fucking plane and say, look, even have videos.

This is me after 25 drinks. Yeah. I do a walk. I'm down the line. I'm not drunk. I've had five fucking drinks. Sir, the bar is closed. No?

No, it's not. Here, I've got a fucking certification. Fucking idiot. I am a certified drinker. You should start selling those, Julian. You should. Drunk on these, man. Liquor certification.

Certified liquor drinker. Certification that I can drink. I am able to have 20 little mini drinks and still be fine and not get an accident. They're an ounce each, though, Ricky. That's like drinking a quart. No. No? What?

Well, yeah, a quart's fine up in here. How many ounces in a quart? 26. 25 or 26. Yeah, 26. It's about 24, 25, 26. Somewhere around there. But, you know, when you get up on the plane,

it's a good thing when you notice somebody that's actually watched the show and all that knows that we can drink. They're like, hey, all right, we're going to see what the fucking supply is. They come back, they tell you how much inventory they got. We can drink it all. Then you can pace yourself. You can pace yourself. I drank all of their Baileys.

I know you did. I had nine coffees. Well, see, I don't know how you got coffee. Three-hour flight, nine coffee and Baileys. I know you did. I had nine coffees. Well, see, I don't know how you got that. Three-hour flight, nine coffee and Baileys. Five drinks. It's a lot of coffee. I wasn't thinking about the coffee. I was just thinking about how to get the Baileys into me.

Nine coffees, boy. It'll wake you up. So, yeah, that's why you're so fat. Yeah, man, I'm fucking tired. Oh, I'm crashing now because the coffee's wearing off and liquor and drugs. I don't know if dying coffee's good for you. No, it's not. Just drink the Baileys.

Yeah, hot Baileys is what I should have. I'm trying to find shit to talk about and I'm tired. It's not as good. Remember Bailey from WKRP? Yes. Liked her. What was her last name? Porter.

Bailey Porter? I don't know. It sounds like it. It just came out, man. That might be it. It could be it. Bailey Porter. Bailey Porter.

I think you might be right. What was Lonnie Anderson's name? Jennifer? I don't know, man. What was her last name? I don't know. God damn it. I swear to God.

Nobody needs to know, man. Yes, they do. People are at home fucking sitting on the edge of their seats right now. God damn it. Nobody needs to know, man. Yes, they do. People are at home fucking sitting on the edge of their seats right now. Who? W-A-R-P. What was Bailey's last name in WKRP? That's okay.

Quarters. Quarters, Porters. That was pretty fucking close, man. Bailey Quarters. That's right. That's a weird last name. Quarters. What was Jennifer's name? Oh.

Lonnie Anderson's name at WKRP, man. Yeah. You know what? I used to think that she was like super hot back then. But now that I'm watching it. I never did. Reruns, I'm like, hmm. No.

What was Lonnie Anderson's character's name in WKRP? Jennifer Merlo. Jennifer Merlo. Jennifer Merlo. Yeah, I was never a fan of her. I don't know why. Really? Nope. Lonnie Anderson.

For someone who was like the secretary, she had a lot of money. Did you see the time they went to her apartment? It was decked out. Because the fellas were whining and dying her. Yeah. Trying to get her pants off. Yeah, fellas were whining and dying there. Yeah. Trying to get their pants off. Yeah, I think so. I think you're right.

Herb Tarlek, I mean, he was all over her. He was pretty hot. Les Nesman, the big nerd. Herb, you can just picture that guy. He was a compulsive jacker, that dude. He wasn't getting banged. Oh, no, Herb, yeah, he used to jack. He was jacking.

Les Nesman was a nerd. He should have been jacking off. Yeah. Andy, what was Andy's last name? Tarlek. No, that's Herb. Herb? No, I don't fucking.

Andy, I don't fucking. Andy Travis. Travis. Dr. Johnny Fever. Well, you guys are really good. Dr. Johnny Fever. Venus Flytrap. Most people don't know. Mr. Carlson. Anything guys are really good. Dr. Johnny Fever. Venus Flytrap. Most people don't know anything about this man.

That was a long time ago. Look up WKRP in Cincinnati. I bet if you watched it now, it would be fucking terrible. Probably. That's what I know. I watched it the other day. I don't think so. Red Wiggler's the Cadillac of Worms.

Do you remember that episode? No. Red Wiggler's the Cadillac of Worms. The Cadillac of worms. Do you remember that episode? No. Red Wigglers, the Cadillac of worms. The Cadillac of worms. To be totally honest, I didn't watch it a whole lot. Oh, I was. I watched it a lot. I was devoted.

I watched a lot of it in jail. WKRB. I wasn't a big fan. I'm sorry. Remember when they had the turkey thing? They were firing turkeys out of the helicopter? Yeah, that was a fucking nightmare. Because Herb or somebody thought they could fly?

Less, I think. Didn't know turkeys couldn't fly, so they started dropping them out of the chopper. In a mall parking lot, they were exploding when they hit the pavement. Poor turkeys. Although, at least, you know, they probably always wanted to fly,

and at least they got to before they died. Well, they weren't really flying, Ricky. They were just dropping. Yeah, but it would feel comfortable. But they got to be up in the air, I suppose. Yeah, got a good view of the Earth. Yeah, as it approached at 170 miles an hour. Oh, man, this is something you would do, Ricky.

This guy was fucking the security guard at this art gallery. Oh, I saw that. Did you see that motherfucker? What'd he do? He fucking ate something, didn't he? He fucking, it was called, what was the name of this thing? It reminded me of you because of the escape of the goldfish. Yeah.

It had these two fucking goldfish coming out of this bowl, right? Mm-hmm. Jumped it into a painting that was the ocean, I think, or something. Yeah, so it was like this beautiful, beautiful thing. Look, buddy's fucking with it. See the fish? He's fucking, he's trying to grab the other one on the ball, just to show you what's going on here.

See, there's a fish that's coming out. It's going into the ocean. And he's looking at it. Oh, I think I'm going to fucking rip this fish right off the painting. And then that's not all. He takes a bite out of it. What a stupid fuck. He's eating it.

Maybe he was a tweaker. Not a very good security guard, though. He was just dumb. Hire someone to protect your art and the fucker eats it. Yeah, that's not probably too common. I wouldn't think people in there are eating the art. You've stolen a lot of shit over the years, but this fucking, this takes the cake. What is it? Radio station in Jasper, Alabama

showed up to their fucking building and the 200 foot radio tower was gone. What? Somebody stole it? And all the equipment inside. How the fuck

do you steal a 200 foot radio tower? 200 feet you dismantle it man that's a lot of dismantling all the guard wires were cut that's fucking that's a very tough job remember that fucking dude

over in Prince Edward Island a friend of ours that moved there he's from there actually there's a fucking huge radio tower how high was that cocksucker remember that he wanted to fucking his dream was to knock the thing over he wanted to fucking take who's that richard that richard guy richard yeah fuck i forgot but we're like dude that thing comes down like there's a highway right there you're gonna kill somebody there's farms on one side he's like no one of the. You're going to hear that fucking tower is down.

It's going to be me. Or maybe he went to fucking Alabama. He's definitely on the suspect list. He was obsessed with it. I want to know how they did it. Then we can start stealing crazy shit. Well, you'd have to climb to the top. Well, not the top, but pretty close to the fucking top.

Or do you just fucking knock it over? Or maybe you knock it over and drag it away with an SUV. 200 feet is big, man. That's hard to get around a corner towing that thing. There had to be some dismantling, but I just wonder how the fuck they got it down. And what did they do with the fucking thing? What did they want it for? Why?

Scrap metal? Well, it couldn't be because they stole the equipment, too. I guess they're starting up their own fucking underground radio station somewhere. Well, it's kind of hard to not be conspicuous when a 200-foot tower goes up. Yeah, you'd think. Once it pops the other way, where the fuck did that tower come from? Oh, that's weird, because there's one missing over here. Tinfoil.

Oh, my God. See, you know what? Some relationships are fucked. There's a 71-year-old Florida woman, right? Oh, that's right. I read this one. She's accused of assaulting her husband of 52 years over a postcard that he received from a woman in Turkey

60 years ago. Before they were married. She wanted, like, 60 years. Fucking, that's like... She's trying to kill him. That's crazy married. She wanted like 60 years. She was fucking, that's like. She tried to kill him. That's crazy. She was like charged with attempted murder.

Just biting him and trying to smother him with a pillow. That's a bit much. Well, yeah. It's a little fucking crazy, yeah. I mean, if it was six months ago, maybe she'd. They'd been married for 52 years. So this was eight years before he was married. Eight years before he was married, yeah.

Holy fuck. I wonder what kind of relationship they had, man. met her. Yeah. Holy fuck. I wonder what kind of relationship they had, man. Probably shitty. She's pretty insecure. I'm guessing she was sort of running the show. You motherfucker. You dated someone before me? From Turkey?

Oh, yeah. I'll fucking kill you. She looks miserable. I got a picture of her. Boys, I can't. My eyes aren't working. Just go to sleep, man. She's not a of her. Boys, I can't. My eyes aren't working. She looks, she's not a happy woman. Let me see this crazy.

She's pissed off. Oh, my Jesus. Can I have a look? I'd say she's a chain-smoking drunk. Oh, Jesus, yeah, she looks nasty. Yeah, she's just not happy. She kind of looks like the one in Beetlejuice. I had that story.

We're fucked. I don't know. We'll come around, man. We can't discuss Jessica Beale. Is that her name? Beale? Beale. Beale, yeah.

Did you hear about all the controversy with her? I don't know why it's so controversial, but she said she likes to eat and drink in the shower. Yeah, that's kind of weird, man. Why? I didn't see that story. It's not weird. She's multi-asking. Multitasking.

What does she eat in there? Like, not plates? Full-on dinner, man. Whatever, yeah. Meals. Like dinner. Spaghetti. Yes.

She'll take a bite. She said the secret to it is you've got to keep your mouth closed while you're chewing. It's got a whole system to it. You really have that little time in your fucking day that you got to. That doesn't make sense, man. You got to eat while you shower. So she's eating a full meal. I'm going to try it.

I'm not going to fucking diss her because maybe there's something to it. Like maybe the flavor is more while you're in there. I don't know. Here's the question. If she wasn't so goddamn hot, do you think she'd be with Justin Timberlake all these years eating in the shower? So you believe that Justin Timberlake is the hottest man on earth? No, no, no.

She's hot as fuck. And she's married to him eating in the shower. I mean, that's kind of weird, man. Their kids would probably be all right. The kids are all right, I guess. I'm going to try just to find out. I mean, I've drank in the shower. I mean, that's kind of weird, man. Your kids will probably be all right. The kids are all right, I guess. I'm going to try it just to find out. I mean, I've drank in the shower. You know what?

I've smoked a joint in the shower. The thing is, you get spaghetti in your face, you just put your face up in the shower. If you drop something, I guess it doesn't really matter. It's like, fuck down the drain. Maybe she's on to something. I'm going to try it. Oh, wow.

I mean, it depends on what the meals are, too. I mean, if you're eating... Like a donair? Wow, yeah. I mean, if you're eating. Like a donair? Well, yeah. I mean, if you're eating, you know. You need a fork and a knife. If you're eating a wrap or a burrito or something, that's one thing. But if you've got a full Sunday dinner on a plate.

With steak and you're like. Yeah, how are you going to do that? You're trying to hold it in your. No, man. But they're rich as fuck. They probably got a massive shower with a kitchen in it. Oh, you could probably fucking have 10 people in the shower. Who has a shower with a kitchen in your, no, man. But they're rich as fuck. They probably got a massive shower with a kitchen in it. Oh, you could probably fucking have 10 people in the shower. Who has a shower with a kitchen in it, right?

That's kind of weird. Timbercock. Justin Timbercock? Maybe he does. It is a weird combination, though. It is. You know what? I think a microwave would be good in the shower if you had, like, a built-in one.

All right. So you're getting into it. Well, I'm thinking, man. Yeah. I could have some pizza pops. Because if you were the Czech and you're like, want to have a shower with me? Maybe have like, you know, a coffee or something? I'll heat up a...

You want to have a shower with me? I'll make some pizza pops. Yeah. I'll melt some hot wax and pour it down your back. See, you know what? That's some romantic shit right there, buddy. That's romance.

Romance. Clog your drain, I guess. Yeah, that's probably not good for that. Yeah, you don't want to clog your drain. Moe fucking did that, did I tell you? What? He had a candle and the whole fucking thing melted down so it was just liquid.

And I guess he's a child and didn't think. Poured it down the fucking sink. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it hurt. What a shit show.

Dirty. Had all the, cut the fucking pipes apart. It was a shit show. You know what that, that, I couldn't even get mad at him because

he thinks it's liquid. Yeah, he doesn't know the fucking, he doesn't know the fluid dynamics of sex. Nope, that was a fucking nightmare. Hey, boys, we were just in London. We should have went to this restaurant. Actually, no, we shouldn't have. It's a place in Hyde.

Hyde Park? Yeah. No. No, Piccadilly. Piccadilly, yes. The restaurant's called Hyde. No, Piccadilly. Piccadilly, yes. The restaurant's called Hyde. Oh, I've been there. You have?

Yes. What do you do in this restaurant? It's a fucking, the prices are insane. $99 for scrambled eggs on toast. Don't fucking, no way, man. Well, it's got white truffle on top, but still, that's a fucking lot of money. Well, truffle's expensive. Fuck truffle.

People have eaten it and said it's bland as fuck, and they don't understand it. Food's expensive there, man. 99 bucks for fucking scrambled eggs on toast. Yeah. That hotel we stayed at to get a breakfast, you're talking like 20-some pounds. Like, who wants to pay 30 bucks for toast and eggs, man? It's better than fucking 99. Yeah.

No, that isn't. 99 bucks, but truffles are delicious. Pigs dig them up with their noses. Well, they can have them. Fuck truffles for that much money. Truffles are expensive. Is that what your mothers do for a living? Why?

Why? Dig up truffles with their noses. They'd make some good money. How hard is it to fucking grow a truffle? Very difficult. Can you do it? I don't think they figured it out. I could grow truffles.

How much are they a pound? Oh, a lot. Like gold. More than wheat. More than gold. Yeah, you know what? There's got to be a way to do it. You can do it, man. A pound of truffles is worth more than a pound of gold. What about this? Truffles with THC in it.

Yeah, do some sort of hybrid. Hybrid kind of thing. What would they be called? High elfles. No, that doesn't, no. Truffles. It's not bad. Highly truffs. Truffles nails. that doesn't no trough eyes it's not bad highly troughs

trough his nails no man oh that'd be your nickname if you were a trough no man we'll think about it if you guys work on it

though please I'm there for you truffle HC truffle HC okay I like it what about what about oh I don't know.

I'm too tired to be. What about, here's the slogan, holy truffle, I'm high. Yeah. Yeah, maybe. What the hell does that mean, Ricky? I don't fucking know. It's the drugs. I've been drunk for four days.

It's been longer than that. Actually, it's been weeks. I've been drunk all through London and through you know what? In Montreal. Boys, we've traveled quite a bit in the last two weeks. I've got to stop this shit, man. You guys more than me. It's like London

and then home. I've been everywhere, man. Time change, man. Raid the mountain there, man. Bubz, you must have heard about this one, the fucking cat in Australia that had a snake wrapped around its neck. I heard. Fuck. She thought it was a python, so she got some tongs.

It wasn't a fucking python. It was an eastern brown snake, which is like the deadliest snake in Australia. But she got the fucker off a cat and saved the cat's life. They do say, there's a guy that was proved, like proved that you can be in like a cage or whatever you want to call it, with a bunch of fucking like venomous snakes, right? Yeah.

And the only way they'll fucking bite you is if you come at them. And like, if you fuck them over a little bit, they'll come after you. But if not, they're like little pets. Well, this thing was coming at her i guess because she was trying to get it oh yeah that's why she thought it was threatened i'd be fucking terrified i don't know what would you do in that situation would you try to save your cat or just say sorry bud oh no a million percent i'd save the kitty what if you get killed i'd fight a fucking rattlesnake

this one's deadly in the rattlesnake this kills more people in the world. What if you get killed? I'd fight a fucking rattlesnake. This one's deadlier than the rattlesnake. This kills more people in the world than any snake. You know, if I had a shovel, I'd try to fucking just cut it in half. The cat? No, not the cat. The fucking thing around the snake. Chop him off at the neck. Chop him off at the neck.

I'd take my handgun and try to get his head. And if I miss, well, I tried. At least it would be a good shot. You're not that good of a shot, man. You might want to, I don't know. Not a great shot, Ricky, because you're always drunk and high. Yeah. I don't know what the answer is, but I would be, fuck, that's a tough situation. Now, if it was wrapped around Moe's neck, I'd have to fucking step in.

Well, that's a different story, man. I guess your cats are kind of like your kids. I would definitely save my kitties. I'm not sure if I'd save a kitty, Bill, but... Yes, you would. Yeah, maybe. Fine your head off, maybe. You've got some lung butter going.

Yeah, what the fuck is up with the lung butter, man? No, I'm just like... Just, fuck, trying to keep it together. Me too, man. You know? Did you hear about that millionaire guy? He's like... I think he's in his 20s.

All right. Who wants to be a millionaire? He claims he's banged over 500 women in the last couple years. Hmm. That's a lot. He's hoping to hit 1,000 in the next couple years. Two years? 500?

Yeah. He dates multiple women at the same time, apparently. He might want to go to the doctor and get his wiener checked. And he's got tons of money. He's just out there banging.

He got married twice. His first marriage, he married his high school sweetheart. It lasted two weeks. Had two kids, I think, or one kid. Then he married somebody else and that lasted months so he's like fuck that i'm not meant to be married i guess yeah so now he just so now

thanks he's just greasy but here's the weird part what his rule is for the women they're not allowed to communicate with any other men while they're dating in but yeah he's allowed to bang hundreds. That's quite a setup, really. Well, he just sounds like a fucking asshole, man. He does. He's cocky, too. He's like, I have no problem getting dates. Women love me. They love the way I look. Women just love that you've fucking banged five other women in last year.

They just love that. I guess if you know what you're signing up for, maybe, but it's not a very fair deal. I guess if you know what you're signing up for, maybe, but... Yeah. It's not a very fair deal, I guess. Well, it's probably just a fucking greasy fuck. Boy, I need another drink. Julian, shake your ass over to that fridge and fetch me a drink, boy. What the fuck? Are you kidding me?

Who the fuck is that guy? Who the fuck was that? Shake your little ass over to the fridge. Get me a drink, boy. You know what? I will get you a drink. Boy, you got to ask nicely, man. I just wanted to say that.

Will you please get me a drink? Will you please shake your ass? Is there any in there? Yes. There is. What, more vodka? Yes. Get you a fucking drink.

Give me one of those cans of them in the door. Need a little ass shake from you, bud. I'm a little ass shaking, man. Yeah. Here, bud. Yeah, that's a good little bitch. That's a good little bitch. You need that.

I was so fucked up this morning, I forgot to find out who the fuck got born on February 16th. Well, you're lucky I got this thing in front of me. You know what sucked? Being in fucking Las Vegas on Valentine's Day with no dates, no nothing. I don't like Valentine's Day. Well, there's hawkers. Yeah.

Expensive, though, and I don't have that kind of money. They're kind of greasy. That's a delicious fucking drink right there. Cold stream. Yeah, are they paying you for that? Cold stream, clear, vodka, water, lemon, lime. No, but maybe they'd give us some... Maybe the cold stream people would give us some free cases.

Just what we need. Free liquor? That shit. Why? Well, I'll get it. It's just vodka and water, look, with some lemon and some lime in it. Vodka's not... Then you just drive the fucking salt and'll get it. It's just vodka and water, look, with some lemon and some lime in it. Vodka's not. Then you just drive the fucking salt and pepper to it.

Drive the salt and pepper right to it. What is up with you putting like a huge amount of salt and pepper in everything, man? That's called seasoning. In drinks? Yes, drive the salt and pepper right to her. Oh, fuck. You know whose birthday it is today? Oh.

Couple cool people, iced tea. Oh, iced tea. Oh, fuck. You know whose birthday it is today? Oh. Couple cool people. Iced tea. Oh, iced tea. OG. Delicious drink? No. Not iced tea. Or iced tea.

It's iced tea. The rapper. Cup killer. I like him. Yeah. Body counts in the house. Body counts. John McEnroe.

Johnny McEnroe. I met John McEnroe. No, you fucking didn't. Oh, I sure did, bud. He didn't take shit off anybody. He's 64, man. I have a picture of me and him. He's probably still fucking,

is he still getting fights? No, he's not getting fights. You know where I met him? Where? Take a guess. The bathroom. New York City. In the bathroom.

Saturday Night Live and Woody Harrelson's dressing room. In walks John Mackinac. That's an odd one. Here's a guy we met. LeVar Burton. We met that guy. LeVar, yes. What was his name? Twinkles? What was his name

on Star Trek? Twinker, wasn't it? I don't fucking know. Twinker? I don't think there was a tweaker, was there? Twinker. Or was he a mopnet? He was a moppet. Twinker. Sarah Clark. Don't really knowpet. Twinker. Sarah Clark. Don't really know her.

Is she related to Clark? Don't know, man. She related to Clark Kent? I don't know him. Lupe Fiasco. Who the fuck is that dude? Yeah. You know him?

Oh, yeah. He's huge. He's 41, man. Today. Great guy. Who is he, Ricky? You don't know him. The guy from the, all that other shit.

The youngest Olsen. I think she's the youngest anyway. I thought they were twins. Elizabeth. They're twins. Not the other two fuckers, the younger sister. I was going to say. She'll only be younger by about five minutes, probably.

Chloe Wepper, whoever the fuck that is. Fucking not a great day. Nah, man, I don't know. I don't know these people. Andy Taylor. And you're fucking spilling shit everywhere on my counter. Oh, Jesus, how did I do that? Your fucking mouth is fucked.

Look at that. I'll just pat it in. We need to go to your shed and go the fuck to bed. No, no, no, no. Don't. Bubz, why? Why would you do that, man? I like to get you oiled up. You're fucking doable today. would you do that, man? I like to get you oiled up.

You're fucking doable today. You know, I'm leaving. I like to get you oiled up. I'm done for the day. Come on, oil up your tits, man. No, man. I got to blow my nose and fuck. Julian, oil up your rig for us.

Get your rig oiled up. Get your rig oiled. There's no rig oiling. So what's the plan? We're getting drunk. I'm going to go to the store. I'm already drunk. I'm getting more of this.

I wonder if we could celebrate Valentine's tonight. Go try to find a date. Sure we could. Did it already happen? Two days ago. We missed it. We missed it, man. Oh, we were in Vegas when on.

Yeah. I went on a date. You were on that fucking. On Valentine's Day. You were swiping right and left. What was that all about? No, that was auto parts. A swipe left, swipe right.

But I had a date in Vegas on Valentine's Day. With who? What was his name? It was her, Ricky. What was her name? Gladys. You've dated Gladys before, but they were super old. This lady was not young.

Under 75? She was, oh yeah, she was under 75. 62. 67. All right, Gladys. I bet she had a fun night, didn't she? We just went dancing in the casino. That's it.

Those old birds like to get her going. They like to dance. They like to get it going. You got to be careful because they can break their hips pretty easy. And a lot of them have venereal diseases, bubs. Who does? The old birds. I thought it was crabs.

Old ladies don't have crabs, do they? Chlamydia. A lot of them do that. There's a lot of that shit going around in that circle. Why would the old ladies? Chlamydia. A lot of them do that. There's a lot of that shit going around in that circle. Why would the old ladies have chlamydia? Because you think at that age, there's not going to be any disease. They're not going to get knocked up

so they go bear burden, man. They go on the hunt for bear burden. They go raw dogging. Raw dogging. Okay, enough of the raw dog talk. We got to go. Everybody, cheers. Have a good fucking night. We are happy February 16th. We'll see you in seven days, maybe. Maybe not.

Maybe. No, we will. I'm going to be sober the next time. Oh, shit. I am. Fuck off. I'm not coming back. All right, later. See the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer.

Go to SwearNet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys SwearNet app.