Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 39 - Ricky, the Robin Hood of Hockey

Episode Date: February 22, 2021

Ommmmm... oh for fack's sake! Bubbles is trying to meditate but Julian's more interested in bowling dates with single moms! Ricky has a plan to bring overpriced hockey gear to the kids, and Bubbles tests his knowledge on the Beverly Hillbillies. Also: Lawyer cats, the $5 million dog, and desert island survival skills!

It's pretty fucked up. You can hardly see the pins, man. It is kind of fucked up, man. It's lame. Like, this is a lame game. Is it like any, does it require skill at all to play this fucking game or what? Well, I was reading this thing that... Oh, man.

Boys, you're making it awful hard to try this meditation stuff. Are Boiling Alley still open now or are they shut down? Bubs? Are they fucking open now or what? No, I can't get there. I can't get any kind of fucking peace happening whatsoever. Bob, is the bowling alley still open? Son of a bitch.

I don't fucking know. Call them up. Beasley Lanes, isn't it? Yes. Fuck. It's a good place to meet the ladies. Bowling alley? Yeah, man. Single moms.

There's all kinds of there, you know, taking the kids to parties and shit. Birthday parties. Is there a single mom bowling league? I didn't know about. Well, you know, single moms. You've got to think about shit like that. That's what's at the top of your list these days? Single moms.

Well, they went through it once. They were obviously with a fucking asshole. So maybe you could, you know, start a relationship with a single mom. Already made family type thing, you know what I mean? Go on little bowling dates. Whatever it takes, man. Because this is fucked. Like, no offense, boys, but I hang out with you guys way too fucking much. No, man, I get it.

I just didn't know you were into bowling. What? No man, I get it. I just didn't know you were into bowling. You okay, bud? Yeah, I'm medicating. Trying it out. What's it got for you? Is it working? No, it's not. What's it supposed to do? Is it like getting high? It's kind of like getting high without the drugs, Ricky.

Lame. That's lame Gets? Lame. Okay, well... Just sitting there. What do you do when you meditate? What are you doing? You thinking about shit or... You're just trying to... clear your mind of everything.

I mean, you could probably meditate, Ricky. You got nothing in there anyway. I did it. I've done it. If I ever want to do it again, I usually get super baked and I wash H Ventura, Pet Detector 2. And he did that thing where he was going to the monks, and he went in the flue and the clouds.

That's what I think about. Did that cloud fly in? That's not meditation. That's not meditation, man. That's just watching a movie baked, Ricky. And you end up passing out anyway. Yeah. Well, that's what I don't know. It worked for him, so it works for me.

Okay. Well, I'm glad you meditated. I meditated a little too much, I think. Medicated? Yes. You medicated, I meditated. Ugh. Oh, blew my rotator cuff, too. Meditated?

No. Oh. It's fucking weird to get injured. You need to get some, like, elastic bands and start doing some exercises with them. Yes, I do, because I'm getting, you know. What'd you call it? My rotator cuff. I thought it was rotator cuff. Maybe it is.

No, it's probably not. So that, man, shit starts growing on it, and it starts rubbing, starts scurrying shit out, man. Yeah, I feel like I need a fucking shot of oil like the Tin Man. Why would it be a cuff, I wonder? Is it like a shirt cuff or a pant cuff? It's like a pant cuff, Ricky. But it's inside.

I pulled it, fucking Holland. There was a fucking shopping cart. Holy fuck, do you remember the old 1600 series, the limited edition ones that came out? Heavy as fuck? Yes. I found one. I don't know how I missed it.

It's been down there for, fuck, it must be down there since the 80s. You need to get a gold shopping cart. If you start hauling gold ones out, you gotta do some stretches or something, man. You just can't get in there. Look, if I start finding gold shopping carts, believe me, I won't be hanging out here too long.

We should open a grocery store that has gold carts. I bet we'd fucking be the biggest part of it. Made of gold? Or just the color gold? I think there should be some real gold involved. So you're like high-end. Man.

You could have your prices twice as high. Do you know what a solid gold shopping cart would be worth? We wouldn't be fucking, like, doing anything. We'd be retired if we had one. Yes, we would. You could steal the gold, and you could hide it in shopping carts. They'd be heavy, though. That's a terrible idea burgeoning right now.

I think if people were shopping in a store with gold shopping carts, they wouldn't even look at prices. They'd just feel so good. Beverly Hills, maybe. There you go. Let's move to Beverly Hills and open a shopping cart, gold grocery store. There was another group of fuck-ups that moved to Beverly Hills one time. You remember them? The Beverly Hillbillies.

No, I thought you meant... Remember those cocksuckers? He's kind of like a Jethro, isn't he? I thought you meant some of the actors. No, like Jethro. Jethro. Jethro Bodine. Jethro Toll?

Jethro Bodine. Bodine, yes, it was. Matt Bodine. It was a hot sister, wasn't there? Ellie Mae. Nice. What was Granny's name? Just Granny.

Granny? She was a wicked fucking, like, woman. What was Granny's name? Just Granny. Granny? Jed? She was a wicked fucking, like, woman. She was nuts. Oh, she was crazy as shit. Granny was. She knew how to find oil, though. She knew how to fucking use a 12-gauge, too.

Can you imagine if Granny hooked up with Relic from the Beachcombers, and they were, like, banging? They had a relationship? And what kind of kid would come up? Okay, here's a question. What was the banker's name? On what? On the hillbillies.

Remember the banker used to show up, and he had a secretary with him? Mrs. Hathaway. Mrs. Hathaway. Where did I pull that out of? I don't know. It must be the meditation. What was the banker's name, though? I thought it was Mrs. Hathaway. No, that was his secretary. I don't know. It must be the meditation. What was the banker's name, though? I thought it was Mrs. Hathaway.

No, that was his secretary. That was his secretary. Oh. Mrs. Hathaway. But what was that cocksucker's name, that banker? Steve? What did he look like? Bob.

I think he had, like, gray hair, kind of a widow's peak, dirty-looking bastard. Bankers are usually named Bill. No, they're not, Ricky. What bankers do you know named Bill? It's the guy I deal with, Teller. Bill the Banker. Bill the Banker. Mr. Drysdale!

That was it. Was that his name? That was it, man. Where in the flying fuck was that locked up in the old noggin? You know what, you gotta fucking go on Jeopardy, man. Where in the flying fuck was that locked up in the old noggin? You know what? You've got to fucking go on Jeopardy, man. I'm telling you. You would kick ass on Jeopardy.

Mr. Drysdale. He had only come up with the answer. Was it Mr. Drysdale or was that from a different show? I think it's... Ask your smartphone. I think it was Mr. Drysdale and Mrs. Hathaway. Here, where's your smartphone? Jethro Bodine. I'll get to the bottom of this.

Ellie Mae Clampett, Jed Clampett, Granny. All right, let's see. Did the Duke boys make a cameo on there one time? Jesus, man. Yeah, the A-Team did too, I think. Beverly Hills, come on, man. The A-Team. Different fucking time.

Granny beat the fuck out of... Watch his face there. Woo! What a time we're having. Perk after dark. Yes, we should welcome everybody, shouldn't we? Yeah. February 19, 2020.

Fuck, it's 2021, man. That's a lot. That's a lot, man. That's a lot. That's a lot of years. That's a lot. All right. Come on, please. Did you look it up? Raymond Thomas Bailey was his name. Who?

Yeah. And his name was Milburn. Drysdale. Drysdale. Mr. Drysdale. Milburndale. Mr. Drysdale. Milburn. Old Millie Drysdale. And Mrs. Hathaway. Jane Hathaway, I believe her name was.

It was Jane Hathaway. It's fucking amazing. We should go on Jeopardy, man, I'm telling you. Big money in that fucking game. As long as you had ten minutes to come up with the answer, I'd be good at it. Just hang on, Alex. Well, it's not Alex anymore.

God love him. Alex Trebek. Maybe they do have that long. Maybe they just, it's the way they cut it together. No, they don't, Ricky. It's pretty instantaneous. Who knows? TV magic.

Could be. Could be a bunch of lies. Remember that movie, Happy Gilmore? I do. Yes, I do. It was just the 25th anniversary of that movie. Yeah. Bob Barker.

25 years. Bob Barker used to fucking spar. He was a tough motherfucker. Chuck Norris, man. Eight years. Learned how to fucking kick ass. What? Yep.

Barker did. That's why he wanted to do it. He wanted to get in the fight, man. On screen. He could throw down. I was impressed. He could fucking throw down, man. He's why he wanted to do it. He wanted to get in the fight, man. On screen. He could throw down. I was impressed. He could fucking throw down, man. He could kick the shit out of you.

Barker, he, yeah. Either that or Sandler was a pussy. I don't know. I've never fought either one of them. Sandler just was on the thing there, and he just did a big Happy Gilmore golf crank. Did he connect? He connected fucking center right up the center.

Wow. So that was real. Happy Gilmore. He can still do the run up and fucking crank or straight. It'd be a tough thing for him to do, Sam, and go to a golf course, huh? You'd have to have a hockey stick in your bag or you'd look like a dick. Yeah. Getting chirped. I'm sure he goes golfing with a hockey stick in his bag all the time, Ricky, so that people recognize him even more. They don't have to get it out and fucking whack a ball.

I'm sure that's what he loves to do. That's what we should... We should quit everything. Where does he live? California? Move to California, wait till he goes golfing, and just fall him in every hole and chirp him. Okay, Adam Sandler, if you're watching this by chance, which I'm sure you are, nothing better to do, right?

He's definitely not watching this, man. Well, just- What would be your first chirp you'd scream out at him? First hole. He gets up there with his fucking stupid little driver that we know he doesn't know how to use. I don't know, what would your first chirp be? Where's your fucking Sherwood PMP 5030 there, pussyfoot?

I don't know where that came from, but that was a weird reference. Is that what he used? I don't know. I think he used a wooden hockey stick. It probably wasn't a Sherwood. Could have been. Fuck, used a wooden hockey stick. Probably wasn't a Sherwood. Could have been. Fuck, I like those hockey sticks. They still sell them.

That's hockey snapshots. Do they really? PMP 5030 wooden. You can still get that. As soon as I leave here, I'm going. I'm getting one. Go down to Hockey Life, Ricky. Steal it.

How much are they? They're not cheap anymore. You know what hockey sticks cost now? For the good ones? I haven't bought one since I was probably seven. Take a guess, Ricky. What do you think? Like a top-of-the-line graphite fucking whatever they're called.

Titanium fucking... What do you think they're worth, Julian? About 50. How about 350, 400? For a fucking hockey stick. $400 you can pay for a hockey stick. No problem. Why haven't we been collecting?

We should be collecting those. Guess how much skates are. Good skates that, like, the Cross uses. Or those guys. They're $2,000. $2,000 bucks? $2,000. $2,500 bucks a skate. This is? 2,000. 2,500 dollars.

This is ridiculous. So how the fuck do kids that don't have a lot of money afford to play hockey these days? Well, that's the problem. That's fucking bullshit. We're going to a goddamn hockey factory. And we're taking some trucks. And we're just going to hand out. Just going to be like Robin Hood.

Well, we don't have to hand them out. We can charge them something. Not for the kids. Well, 20 bucks is fucking... We'll make our money off fucking adult hockey. All right. We'll be like the Robin Hoods of hockey. Minor hockey.

We'll probably be in the Hockey Hall of Fame. Probably. We could sponsor a team. Big picture of us. Stealing a track. Good deeds. Yes, sir. The fucking three guys that saves hockey for the kids.

The Hockey Savers. That's a good name. I want to see that in the paper. I had a great band name the other day. I can't think of what it was now. The Hockey Hoods. That sounds like a gang of toughs. Gang of young toughs. Well, it sounds pretty though. I mean. We had another name the other night.

It wasn't great. The Shave Taints. There's a band name? Yeah, like a barbershop quartet. The Shave Taints. A barbershop quartet. The Shave Taints. Really nice harmonies because of their shaven-ness.

Yes, because they're smooth. They've got smooth harmonies. Did you hear about that seven-year-old little cocksucker in Florida almost went through the chopper blades of the garbage truck? He's playing hide-and-seek, hitting the garbage can, and got fucking thrown right into the back of the fucking thing. He's playing hide and seek, hitting the garbage can and get fucking thrown right into the back of the fucking thing. Chopper's going

and he's sliding down. This guy's looking at the camera and he's like, holy fuck! Runs out and saves him at the last second. Lucky little fucker. That would have sucked

getting chopped up by garbage blades. Holy fuck. So he's all right? Yeah, Ben. He says he's not going to hide in garbage cans anymore. So good learning lesson, life lesson there.

Very good lesson to learn. Don't hide in garbage cans and don't hide in fridges. All fridges from the 50s. Unless you've got a drill with a metal bit. Drill some air holes. Well, or just don't get in them, Ricky. It's too tempting. Hmm. Don't hide in them, Ricky. It's too tempting.

Hmm. Don't hide in 1950s fridges. Yeah, of course. Why the fuck would you do that? Well, people have died trying it. Good hiding place. Good hiding place. The door slams shut.

Uh-oh. It's got that lock on it. You should have, have like an oxygen maker built into a deep freezer just in case that happens you can just flick a switch and then it makes air for you save a lot of people or just have a fucking latch on the inside to undo the latch

on the outside like a trunk Ricky much cheaper than building an O2 generator the thing about a latch on a trunk, Ricky. Much cheaper than building an O2 generator. Yeah, the thing about a latch on a trunk is that, like I always cut mine out. Then you can still put people in your trunk if you need to.

Did I say that out loud? Ricky, don't be putting people in your trunk. Only if they deserve it. Oh yeah, that's why I was playing video games. You know, they can train pigs to play video games with their snouts. I'm like, wow, that's cool. Who does that?

Who can do what I can do? Scientists. For what? I'm not sure why. You don't know the purpose? Probably just to prove that they can do it. Look what we did. Probably just to have,

always to have somebody to play with. But if pigs can do it, Julian, you can do it. Do what? Play video games. With your snout. I don't want, why would I do that though? You gonna let a pig beat ya? I don't wanna compete with a pig.

Julian got beat by a pig! ya? I'm not... I don't want to compete with a pig. You ain't gonna be by a pig! See? That's fucked. I mean, there is people out there that are doing that. And go for it, man. They're using their nose? Yeah, go for it. Use it.

If you can't use your hands or whatever, use the nose. I gotta get a massage. I saw somebody playing with their feet. It was pretty mind-blowing. I watched it for hours. The game or the feet? Just the whole process. You see the little fella on TikTok that doesn't have a body?

No. What do you mean? He ends right here. How does that work? I don't know, but he's on there. He stops right there. I'm not even joking. And it's real? Oh oh it's real he does jokey things and shows people how he operates from here or from like down the waist no no he ends right here right here he ends it's amazing man i don't know how it works ricky

it looks like when he eats something it's just going to drop right out. Yeah, I mean, there'd be no way to pee or poo. I think he explains it all. I never got into it. I never, you know, I just watched a couple of quick ones. Probably not much banging going on. You don't know that, boys. He probably still has the whole package and shit going. I don't know where it would be.

Yeah, but he might have extra feeling in, like, his nipples. No, he's an awesome fella. That's what I'm saying. I'm fucking, that's great, man. I think he's fantastic, you know, because he ends right there. Like, there's not a lot of stuff. He's living the best life. Life's saying, fuck it.

That's fucking amazing. He can get around. Holy fuck, you should see him get around. Just like zinging around up into his chair down on the ground. Like he walks. That's awesome. He walks on his hands. Because he's, you know, he's got nothing like, nothing dragging.

Like he's not long enough. He's just on his hands. When he's standing on his hands, he's got about that much clearance to the ground. Like he's. He's probably got his arms like. He's standing on his hands. He's got about that much clearance to the ground. Like, he's... He's probably got his arms like a big fella. He's pretty fit. I mean, he's going to have to be, right? He's going to have to be, man. Yeah.

Can he do a handstand? Oh, Ricky, he's just... He is a handstand. That's awesome. All he's got to do is do a handstand. He's always doing a handstand. He's just got to tilt his body the other way. That's nothing for him. He's always doing a handstand. He's always doing a handstand. He's just got to tilt his body the other way.

That's nothing for him. He's a professional. I would think if you're missing different parts, the other parts would be better and, yeah. His arms are very good. Might be able to have an orgasm. We should look him up and see if we can get a hold of him. Just from necking.

Just to tell him that he's awesome. Imagine if you're necking with someone and you have an orgasm. Just because everything's more sensitive. I don't know about that. How did you even get to that, man? Because that's what happens. When the body is missing things, it finds other ways to make things work.

I don't know if that's the case, Ricky. Maybe he pees out of his nose. Who knows? See, if we do end up talking to this guy, don't fucking ask. Let us ask the questions. I'm going to ask the questions because everybody wants to ask, but the two are free. I think they're already answered on his TikTok machine.

I'm not offending him. I would never do that. I just need to know things. And he's probably the kind of person that would answer them. I think he's answered all those questions on his TikTok machine. I'm going on there. I'll show you how to do it. What is a TikTok thing?

It's just like a thing. The TikTok. It's an app on the phone. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think Mo fucks around with that. A bunch of videos and shit. You've been on the TikTok. We have at the TikTok. All right. I don't remember everything. We don't use the TikTok. You should actually watch it because you can learn some shit on there. You know what I mean? Did you see that lawyer that was in the trial and he said of his face it was a cat? I did see that guy. He fucked up, had a cat face on or something. I saw that and he told the judge.

He had to tell him, I'm not a cat. I'm not a cat. I'm real. I'm here. We can proceed. And the judge said, yes, I'm aware. You're not a cat. I thought you might like that one.

Definitely going to have to get a massage. Do you ever wish you were a cat? I've thought about it. What cat would you be? What color? If I could be any cat? Pushed in faces? Would you have a pushed in squishy face?

Or would you be a fit little fucking, or an alley cat or a tough as fuck cat? I don't know what I'd be, boys. Hairless? I'd have to think about it. Orange? It's a big decision to make. Hairless? Turning into a cat.

Clawed or declawed? Oh, I wouldn't be fucking declawed, I'll tell you that. Okay. You don't declaw your cats. That's bullshit. That's the same as me cutting your fucking knuckles off. That's no fun. Your mama should have been de-clawed.

That's hilarious. Had to throw one in there, man. That's hilarious, Julian. A lot of scabs on backs could have been prevented. Yep. Yeah, so original. Did you ever hear about that woman that used Gorilla Glue in her hair because she ran out of got-to-be-glued hair gel?

Really dumb thing to do, but I felt bad for her. You know what I mean? That was fucked. What did she do? She put Gorilla Glue in her hair? Yes, because she didn't have the got-to-be-glued hair gel. She ran out. So she got the glue.

Big fuck up. Oh, my Jesus. Gorilla fucking glue. How did she figure she was going to wash it out? I don't think she was thinking ahead. No, she was just late to do it. How much did she put in? Whole head.

She had to get a plastic surgeon to fucking deal with it. Her hair turned into like a bowl of glittery. Of course it did. She raised some money. I think the plastic surgeon did it for free. Yeah. This other dumbass got on. He's like, oh, yeah, it's not that bad.

So he put some on his lips and he had to go to the hospital. He was a fucking idiot. Oh, gluing your lips together is the worst fucking thing you could do. Unless you talk too much. Yeah, but then you got a mumbler, Ricky. That's even worse. There's a few people that like to glue their fucking lips. Oh, man.

Yeah, but that doesn't mean they're going to shut up. They're just going to be mumbling, which is even more annoying. Doing like charades. Yeah, because you can't make them out. How do you make that sound stop? Whack them right across the face. No, you'd have to do an operation on the vocal cords. Does it hurt?

Well, it wouldn't be a good thing to do, Ricky. You'd have to practice. She glued her head. Yeah. She's lucky she didn't lay down. She would have glued herself right to the bed. Bad head. That's a fucking whole new meaning for that.

That's a whole new problem. Glue a mattress to your head and see how you feel. That's a fucking whole new meaning for that. That's a whole new problem. Glue a mattress to your head and see how you feel. When you die, are you gonna leave anything to your cats? I already have my cat well done, Ricky. Because this dude left five million dollars to his fucking dog in his will. That's a good hefty amount. For the dog, yes.

That's too much to leave a cat, man. No, but you could leave something to make sure they're looked after. I'd be happy to, if I'm not gone, I'd be happy to do it for you for a small fee. See, why wouldn't you just spend most of that before you know you're going? I'm just going to go on a fucking, I'm buying everything. He should have taken the dog on a trip. I'm throwing money out to people. Maybe he did. Hey, Poochie, you want to come to space with me?

Maybe he already spent a hundred million on the dog and that was just to, you know, because once the dog has that lifestyle, it's going to be hard to take it away from him. You know, living large. He was probably like Spuds McKenzie. It's in a trust fund and he gets so much for whatever he needs.

He must be, the dog must be good with money. Oh my fuck fuck Rick. I wonder if he knows how to use a bank machine. Oh, I- No, not a chance. Cause he could be like, fuck you, I'm taking out as much money as I want. And I'm going to the pet store.

Gonna have a fucking good day. Getting the most luxurious dog bed they have. Fuck it, I'm going right to the real bed store, getting a king size. That's what I would do if I was a $5 million dog. I'd be going to a kennel, opening up all the fucking gates and saying, come on, let's party.

Let's fucking party, people. Bitches. Doggies. Bitches. Yeah, they, yeah. I don't know, but you wouldn't be being mean. No, that's what they...'s fucking party, people. Bitches. Doggies. Bitches. Yeah, they, yeah. I don't know if you wouldn't be being mean. No, that's what they. That's what I mean.

Yeah, you could just walk down the local dog pound and have your pick. Yeah, flash your cash. And your wiener. Or your other parts if you're female. Oh, they're flashed anyway, Ricky. Dogs don't wear pants. They're always swinging. Swinging wood.

Like your mother. See? I wasn't as funny as my man. I didn't even say anything. Oh, my fuck, I've got such a kink. Did you have those three Cubans that fucking survived on the desert island for 33 days? No, I did not. Eating rats.

Eating rats. What else did they eat? Coconuts and rats. Quite a diet. You could make a nice dish out of a coconut and a rat. Do you think we could survive on an island for 33 days? Did they have fire or were they eating raw rats? Don't know.

Big difference, if you're cooking a rat, you could make them delicious. Rat sushi, I don't know, probably not great. Rat sushi, no. I think me and you would survive. You, I don't know. I think you would not. I would have to force myself to eat like seafood and shit

because I don't like it. Oh my God. I would. I'm starving, starving i'm deserted on a desert island i'm starving oh i don't think i can eat those shrimp those gorgeous shrimp i don't think gorgeous shrimp no but he's saying oh he'd have to force himself to eat seafood the other problem was there was not much fresh water so they were fucking dehydrated well yeah you would be holy fuck when you put the little thing in the you dig a hole and then you you piss in it like you don't well you can i guess but there's other ways man you don't drink your piss no there's a way to piss in a bottle and

then you some kind of condensed shit connect another bottle to it i saw the same thing yeah and you put it out in the sun and it evaporates. Yeah. But I'd be there going, fuck, I sort of remember this, but I don't really remember how to do it. I think you'd be getting to the point where you'd just be like, well, I'd piss my mouth and fuck I'm thirsty, dude. That's what you, if you're dying. In a, like, save your life kind of way? Yeah.

Sexy, sexy time. No, man. Save my fucking, what do you mean, man? Jesus. We're dying. We're dying, so just pass it in my mouth. I've always wanted you to. Well, it's only been one day.

That's what he'd be saying. Just pass it in my mouth. I've always wanted you to. And would you hold it close or away from it or put it right in? Oh, man, it would not. No, man. You wouldn't want to spill any. Good aim man you wouldn't want to sell any good aim you wouldn't

want to waste a drop so you'd have to get it right in there yeah hopefully that'll never happen to us fuck these uh four guys in china were at the airport they had 30 kilograms of oranges and the airline's like no fuck you you gotta pay per pound take those on the plane and they're like

no fuck you and they ate them all right in front of her how many? 30 kilograms it's a fucking holy fuck

took about a half hour fucking vitamin C it's a lot of orange vitamin C overload I can't imagine what color would your piss be? orange? It's a lot of orange. Vitamin C. Overload. I can't imagine. What color would your piss be? Orange?

Yeah, probably. 33 kilograms. That's 60, 70 pounds. You would never be sick again. Shit. 70 pounds of oranges, just to prove a point. How many people ate them? Four. Okay, so let's say... It's almost 10 kilograms.

What's that, like 22 pounds or something? So it's like four bags of oranges, because there are, what, five bags, five pounds in a bag? So there are like four... No, it's more than that. Four each. It's a lot of fucking oranges anyway, just to prove a point. Is a bag of oranges five pounds?

I think all they would have had to pay was like 30 bucks or something. See, those guys are just dicks. They held everybody out. I got a fucking good buzz on now. Straight for vodka. Poor that older Italian woman. She got the COVID. Fucking got the black fingers. Who did?

Amputated. Who did? What? Older lady in Italia. Her fingers turned black? She got the gang. Oh, the green, the gangie. From COVID. Yep.

How do you get COVID from... Some blood clot and bullshit related to COVID. Fuck, that would suck. Is that the whole story or I thought something magical happened at the end? No, there's no happy ending in this one. Just got her fingers turned black. No. What, they just chipped off?

No, she had that. Chipped off? Yeah, like a, you know. They don't turn to shale. Crunchy, like a crunchy french fry, you know. They don't turn to shale, I don't believe. It is dead and stink. Stinky dead fingers, man.

Fuck. That'd be horrible. I don't know if they'd have a stink on them, Ricky. They'd stink. Wearing a dead cat around your head. Yeah, they wouldn't be nice, would they? No. No.

Let me just rub your face there, Julian. Oh, come here, I just wanna touch ya. All right, I gotta go to the fucking hockey store and do some stealing. Let me just rub your face there, Julian. That would be disgusting. All right, I gotta go to the fucking hockey store and do some stealing. That's my black dead finger. All right, get the devil. February 19, 1971, McCartney released Another Day. You know of that? It's just another day. Do do do dodoo. It's just another day. It's another... 1963, Julian.

Someone you love was born. In 63. What was your favorite banging song you used to crank when you used to go on your trailer with the little ladies? Rick Astley. Never gonna give you up. No, man. No, no, no.

Never gonna let you down. Kiss of the Rose. What is that the name of it? Some Marvin Gaye, man. Seal. Kiss of the Rose. What is that the name of it? Some Marvin Gaye, man. Seal. Seal's birthday today. What, he's like 58? Seal.

Yeah. Remember that song? He used to crank the shit out of that in your trailer. Trying to stick it inside. Is that him? He was good, man. I like that shit. Yeah, he was awesome.

He was married to like a supermodel for a bit, wasn't he? Heidi. Tom Selleck. No. I didn't know that he went out. No. He wasn't a supermodel, man. Tom Selleck's a supermodel.

He's not. Definitely could have been. He was. He was at one point. And Millie Bobby Brown, happy birthday to you as well. Stranger things. Stranger things. She was seven.

Wow. She did some good acting with no talking. She was awesome, man. Shaved head. Boys, I gotta go get a massage. Go get him. I'm not even joking. I got some kind of a...

Randy can do it for free. Some kind of a canker. All right, let's go. You can get a massage. We should film. Steelorama. Randy giving a massage, man. I'm not getting one from Randy. You can get a massage. We should film. We'll go on a steel-a-rama. Randy giving a massage, man. I'm not getting one from Randy.

You'll do it, man. I'm going to an actual professional massage parlor. Next time I see you boys, I'll either be happy or in jail. Awesome.