Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 39 - Viva Las F**kin' Vegas

Episode Date: February 20, 2023

The Boys are back from Las Vegas after launching their new TPB D9 gummies - just how f**ked up did they get? Find out if Bubbles got lucky on Valentine's Day, and why UFOs come in peace! Also: Cool sports car, tiny cock?

To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the SwearNet Trailer Park Boys app. Fuck off. You want me to host it, motherfucker? You're the one. I'll fucking host. Welcome to the goddamn Park After Dark. It is February the 17th.

It's fucking St. Patrick's Day. What? No, it isn't. Or is that in March? Oh, yeah, it's March. It is not St. Patrick's Day. It's a few days after Valentine's Day, which was a huge disappointment this year, except for boop boop.

What did you get? No. No? I went to the Legion. Did you make out? You made out with that old lady, didn't you? The one that wants you. 76-year-old.

I actually heard she was a little young. She's a wildcat. A little young? Wildcat. Well, she looks young. She looks like she's about 70, but she's 76. No, no, not her. I just danced with her.

I heard that you sproked a little. No. I heard this girl knew him from the SPCA. I've got some inside information. He may or may not have had his bag fingers. You like older women, don't you? I could sit you with an older lady, man, and be happy. Come on. What are older women, don't you? I could sit you with an older lady, man, be happy. Come on.

What did you say, Ricky? Who told you that? That never happened. Well, somebody in the park said you passed out at the bonfire and you were talking in your sleep. I said, hmm, Cassandra, hmm, hmm, finger that bag. I wasn't saying finger that bag in my sleep. What?

No, I wasn't. He's fucking making it up. Anyway, she's a nice girl. That's good, man. I think she's great, man. See where it goes. You haven't heard from her since, have you? She's lovely.

No. She has dentures, huh? Remember that. No, Cassandra doesn't have dentures. Yes, she does. No, she does not. She was fucking eating a steak and almost fell out. No, you're talking about, that's the older.

That's the older gal that I dance with. This girl's like in her. Oh. The old one that I do the, you know, the Boston shuffle with. Or whatever that's called. The ballroom stuff that I do. It's grinding. You were grinding her, man.

Oh. Ballroom dancing I do with her where I wheel her around, you know, and we got our arms out. Hands on her ass. Two step it's called or whatever. How's that ass anyway? The jive. We jive. Jive.

I think it's jiving. While I was squeezing her butt. No, I don't. How was your Valentine's, man? You didn't want to talk about it. Are you ready to talk about it? No, I don't want to talk about it. Okay.

All right. But you were down at the fire hall, right? Nope. With the firefighters? I was at the aristocrat, and I spent a lot of money. But where did the firefighters come in? There was all the guys from the calendar. There was no fucking firefighters, man.

You, that's what... Oh, you're hitting on an old lady, and you're fucking to bring fire. Donnie said you spent the night with the firefighter calendar team. No, I didn't. Is that who was at the aristocrat? Fuck, sometimes. Oh, man. No, no, no.

Thunder Down Under were on stage, weren't they? The Australian firefighter team. No, man. Firepower Flower. Firepower Flower? I don't even know what that means. Oh, you got your nugget on. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Excellent. We got back from Las Vegas. Get a good shot of the nugget. And I was given this beautiful, wonderful gift. 24 karat gold. I can't say the gentleman's name because he might get in trouble. But yes, look at this. That's real weed.

That's Snoop Dogg shit. Everybody needs to buy one of these. These are fucking the real deal. It's the real yes. Look at this. That's real weed. That's Snoop Dogg shit. Everybody needs to buy one of these. These are fucking the real deal. It's the real shit. It's heavy. Heavy as fuck. Real weed dipped in 24 karat gold. $1,500 for that, man. I would have spent $10,000. I guarantee you

you're going to have that fucking sold. You didn't spend any. No. This was a gift. But you're going to have to upgrade the chain, Ricky. This thing weighs about four pounds. It's harder than that, but that's good. The next thing, my neck will be just, I'll be able to flex my neck like his arms. Yeah, you'll be lifting

cars. I guarantee you're going to be set wide. You know what's going to happen? No, you don't get a bicep in your neck. Ricky's going to get a job as a jack at the cross jacking cars up. No, you know what? That's going to deteriorate. He's going to get a job as a jack at the garage jacking cars up. No, you know what? That's going to deteriorate.

He's going to be chipping it off and selling it in bits and wait and see. I would like to know if it's smokable. See? And there you go. He's going to melt it down and try to smoke it. Anyway, it was a wonderful gift. And that show was fucking incredible. It was a good time.

Some amazing people. I wish I could have flown back with all the gifts i was given i bet you well there was a bag about this big of fucking every drug you can imagine it was just a wonderful playland it was like disney world for ricky it was man drug world it was a lot of drugs i'm glad we couldn't take all the drugs back well we're gonna I'm not disappointed very dissent to and what else happened what was launched gummies trailer park boys d9 gummies which unfortunately don't have here because they're not available in Canada yet but holy fuck they're wonderful tastes good yeah we're gonna put up a picture of

them right here boop boop look at those. Fucking delicious. And wicked. Buzz on. No hangover. Buzz on, man. No weed over. So for people that don't know, D9, it's basically exactly like THC, except one little compound is different. This is what I learned. It's got nine instead of ten.

This is what I learned. Right? Molecules or something? Something like that. But it's almost THC but because it's one little... Someone found a loophole. What a wonderful little picnic. It's like a smile on your face. Oh man, we were walking

around. Her heads were in the clouds. It was wicked. Her heads were in the clouds. But this is also what I learned. What? If you have a big tolerance to weed, it doesn't apply to these because it's different you got to build up your time i will give you that because i hate to admit that i was fucking really high uncomfortably but i yeah the first time i took them probably took a little too much well ricky you're not supposed to eat a whole bag i'm uncomfortably high but it was like wow

and then an hour later it's like wow know, but you're supposed to eat one, Richard. Wow. And then I was okay. One gummy. Three stages of wows. Not one bag. Yeah. Three stages of wows.

You can't. Man, I think we did it. Yeah. We got involved in something. And then the next night, I was like, okay, motherfuckers. I know what your deal is now. And I was fucking wicked. It's great.

What a time. I got to go to all those shows, I think. Well, there's another one right away, I think. Where's it at? Vegas. Oh, fuck, boys. I think there's another one. Lord Fodderdale.

Lord what? Where? Lord Fodderdale. Fodderdale. Where the fuck is that? I'm assuming he means Fort Lauderdale. I think I'm still high from gummies. Lord Fodderdale.

What a time. That would be a land baron. Lord Fodderdale. Lord. Anyway, I think we might end up making some money off this deal. I did a great fucking deal with them. Which means we probably won't because you fuck up every deal we've ever done. I'm thinking maybe we should take the contract and maybe...

How many stores are they going to be in? I heard... Did I hear 30,000 stores? Oh, fuck, I heard 30. No, 30,000, Ricky. Really? That's quite a difference than 30. I mean, there's some fucking... The way they phrased some shit on the contract was a little difficult.

But I think. You're not sure how many zeros there was? Not sure. Here we go. There's just that fucking lawyer type lingo in it, man. I don't know. I think I did all right. But they're supposed to be in 30,000 stores pretty soon,

right? Yeah, but we only get paid for a certain amount of stores. I don't know. Why would we do that deal? You know what? Here's a little piece of advice. Maybe from time to time you could actually show your contracts

to a lawyer. It's just alright. When they offer you like five grand, they give you five grand up front as a signing bonus. That's what fucking gets me. And then you're drunk. And you're drunk. And you're in a back room with all these guys. Next thing you know, you're wasted with all these.

Contracts are flying around. Yeah, man. Strippers. Underwear. It's Vegas. It's just, it's tough. Coxville ink for signing. They did charge for the ink.

Oh, I bet they did. Yeah. The ink. Depends. They were after your ink, were they? I don't know, boys. I think it did all right.

We'll see in another. Well, it's quarterly, okay? So just remind me. All right, I don't want to spend much time on this. Yeah, fuck it. It's the first time we've been back on the

Paracast after the Super Bowl. It's a good game. Didn't like the way it ended, but we'll just leave it at that. Rihanna is hot as fuck. That was quite a fucking stage show. She's pregnant. She's like, it's hot as fuck. It doesn't matter. She's hot every fucking day,

man. She looked pretty awesome when she was floating up there. That was pretty crazy shit. She's a powerful lady, man. lady man sucked about the holding call didn't like the way the game ended but it was a great game yeah i was gonna fuck all right so oh you know we gotta talk about before i forget silver ball no what ufos bubs i know you've been fucking glued to the tv unified freedom unidentified flying oh no not on the ground overground they're fucking shooting them down though unified what freedom overground what no man that's a different organization julian but they're shooting these motherfuckers

down they could be cute. Like, everybody's gone. Everybody's watched E.T. What if it was a cute one of those little motherfuckers? So the first fucking one was definitely a balloon. Yes. But then the other one's not so sure. They won't say they were balloons.

And there's a rumor going around, one of the fighter pilots said it was shaped exactly like a cock. No. No, man. It was the size of a car. Oh. It was octagonal shaped, they said, not cock shaped. What shape is a cock? It's not octagonal.

Cylindrical. Not octagonal. It's not what shafts shape. A stop sign is octagonal, Ricky. Have you ever seen a cock shaped like a stop sign? I know an octopus definitely is. Eight.

Yeah, man. But it's not shaped like an octagon. Why is it called an octo? Because it's got eight octo's, eight sides, man. Eight legs. Or are they arms? See, they could be the fucking aliens. They could be.

They're aliens. It's already fucking established. Okay, so here's what I'm going to say about the things they're shooting down. If they were from somewhere else, okay, that means they are extremely, extremely intelligent, technologically advanced because they figured out how to travel at light speed or warp time or whatever they do to get such a distance.

I would have to think if they're that advanced, they could not be shot down by an F-22 with just an old regular old heat-seeking whatever. Unless it's just a distraction. As I have said before, maybe these fucking creatures do not even know what violence is. And killing and shit like that. Oh man, what a world that would be. That's what I'm saying.

They could be peaceful like E.T., man. I'd like to go to that world and get baked. Like, why are you shutting them down? Like, why? be peaceful like et man i'd like to go to that world and get baked like why are you shutting down like why so you mean they could be super technologically advanced but they don't get the concept of hurting each other here's the fucker they're launching these fucking things the same altitude as a fucking jet aligner okay that's gloves what did he just say there? They're flying at the same height as commercial airlines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when they go up and say, yes, aircraft number whatever, please identify yourself. And they're not getting a response, but maybe they don't understand English.

Exactly. Different fucking language, man. What if they get sucked into a jetliner's engine or right through the windshield? Oh, man. Gets the pilot right in the face. They could be friendly fucking creatures. They could be friendly little fellas. You're like, why the fuck?

Seagulls are friendly. They still take down jet airliners. No, I know, but it could be bad. But if they're not, if they're getting shot down because they don't understand the concept of violence, then it's kind of just over for them like that, and then they don't understand the concept of violence then it's kind of just over for them like that and then they don't even know they can't radio home to say oh they would have radioed well maybe man they're not getting back to them they're but at least there's not going to be a big armada of crazy killing wait that's next you're gonna have fucking things like darth vader coming down i thought they were friendly

maybe they maybe their dark lord lets them live in harmony but if you piss him off he's like fuck you he pulls out the fucking death star use your little jets we're gonna fucking just melt you yeah oh i if they're i hope they're not shooting down aliens they gotta relax and they could be those cute little maybe they're only this big yeah man cute little fellas that you could just get them little little little they could be like cats like little kitties oh my god kitty people i wonder how they reproduce we might be murdering kitty. All of them fucks. They're basically banging. I mean. No, but they might just. What if they're hot as fuck?

You know what I mean? Yeah. They could be. I doubt they're hot, but maybe. Maybe. They could look like fucking Jennifer Aniston or something. You're like, ah. You want to fucking blast them in the face.

Speaking of squirrels. Check. You know what? Boys, this is going to fucking blast them in the face. Speaking of squirrels, you know what? Boys, this is going to freak you out. What are we speaking of squirrels? Move over, sniffer dogs. Drug-detecting squirrels are here. See? I've always hated squirrels. But now they can sniff out drugs.

They're using them in fucking China. That's why they're attacking his weed plants all the time. This is fucking Randy. Here's another thing about squirrels. This pest control guy is on a routine house call. He finds 700 pounds of goddamn acorns on the time. It's fucking randy. Yeah, and this fucking, here's another thing about squirrels, is fucking this pest control guy's on a routine house call and he finds 700 pounds of goddamn acorns

on the wall. I saw it. I saw the video. Man. He opens the fucking vent on the wall and they just start pouring out.

Imagine all of a sudden your walls just start going and then your ceiling just falls right on your face and you're dead because of a goddamn little squirrel. 700 pounds of squirrel nuts.

Another funeral home, discovered woman woman presumed dead breathing it's been happening a lot man what yeah another one what she was in the funeral she got pronounced death yeah but what about the fucking mortician funeral home and breathing they They fucked up again. So he was just about to drain her? I think so. He was about to stick his fangs in her and drain her. Oh, my God. Imagine if you got started to get drained.

Wait, wait, wait. You said stick his fangs? Do you think fucking morticians are like vampires? I've heard some rumors about them. Oh, man. No, no, no, no, no. They drain it. They got...

I don't believe in vampires, but some of them believe they are vampires, even though they're not, and they're like... No, they're just fucking weird, creepy people. Like, vampires are creepers. Not all morticians are creepy. I'd say most of them fucking are.

You kind of have a certain level of fucked up-ness. I don't want to hang out with someone that's like, you know. Why not? There's morticians who are totally normal people. No, because they're fucking creepy, man. Why? Because they're draining dead people for a fucking day. Well, somebody's got to do it.

What should they do? Just put them in a mulcher? No, I'm just saying people like that I don't want to be hanging around with. Some people look at it like an art job. Like, oh, this guy's fucking half half his face is mashed off in a car accident i'm going to rebuild it make them into a nice looking and they're not already love and respect what they do i couldn't do it but yeah no that's not creepy that's creepy man that's being an artiste and i bet well well, no, there's some hot-looking ladies out there doing that, I bet, though. There is.

They're artists, you know. All right. I mean, I'm sure some of them are just in there so they can get their fingers in them, but... Bob's coming on. That's a little... Well, that goes on. Fuck.

No, man. There's, yes, there's people getting caught all the time banging deadies. There's a name for her. Beastie. No, that's not getting caught all the time banging deadies. There's a name for her. Beastie. No, that's not it. Necro. Neck rub. Neck rub.

It's called neck rub. Necro. Oh, Necro. There is. There's people getting caught all the time banging deadies. If you could order any car or vehicle right now jillian what would it be any car or vehicle any vehicle i'd like to have one of those uh grand nationals it's like a monty carlo but they're like is it considered a sports car yeah it's got the champ muscle car man

british scientists just did a study and they've made a connection between having a small penis and wanting to own a sports car oh come on everybody likes hers man no i know it's a weird study i don't know why they just guys with small wieners apparently oh right you were talking about huey lewis he's got a nice color color collection and he's got a massive hog on him doesn't he yeah well there you go so that all right yeah it is a weird that's a weird study because i mean most guys want a sports car whether or not they're shack probably has he's got a ton of cars you're not telling me shack is like fucking shack yeah he's a huge motherfucker yeah but based on proportions it could be smaller than it should be.

No, man. Are you kidding me? Shaq? It's impossible. Even if it's tiny for Shaq. I wonder... It's probably swinging that at least. Exactly.

I wonder who initiated the study of him. Why? Someone that couldn't afford a sports car, obviously. I bet it could have been a female, maybe. Could have been a female maybe could have been a female did you hear about the guy with florida guy and he had cop killer tattooed across his chest no he got arrested for firing at officers after a traffic stop didn't get to kill any cops he just went to jail for probably the rest of his life

didn't get to kill any cops. He just went to jail for probably the rest of his life. In his mugshot, they made him take his shirt off, so it says cop killer in his mugshot. What a fucking idiot. It's a bit of a fucking weird one, yeah. Cop killer, why would you? What a thing to go to a resort down in Cancun with.

Take your shirt off. Hey, how's it going, everybody? How are you? Danny Cop Killer. Nice to meet you. Mind if I babysit your kids for the afternoon? Boys, I can't believe it's finally out. I've been waiting for this.

Actually, I think you want... What is that, Shaq's... That's... Mythical. Mythical? No, I'm just swinging a screwdriver. You got it looking at it like Shaxx wd-40 yes they have not which is a great fucking spray right not as good as wd-50 but not bad it's Ricky all right you know what they've released it as a

perfume no I see that because they say be say people are using it to spray it on their hands and skin and stuff, so they have actually WD-40 perfume. I don't know about perfume. It should be a cologne, shouldn't it? It should be a cologne. I know. That's what I was thinking. It's a perfume for ladies? Yes, and they're selling it.

Oh, because it turns guys on to smell WD-40. That's why. That's what it is. Fuck yeah WD-40. That's why. That's what it is. Fuck yeah, it is whatever. That's smart. Put WD-40 on there, you know. And then the guy's like.

Right down by your waistband. Yep. Get banged by an electrician or a mechanic for sure. Yeah, if you want to get banged by a mechanic. Or an electrician. Start rubbing that on you, you know. What other perfumes should there be then? If that's the theory.

That's a good question. You know, why not Krispy Kreme donuts? Oh, fuck. Or Tang orange juice. Tang? Perfume. Tang turns you on, doesn't it? It's a perfume. Tang turns you on to it? I do like Tang.

I haven't had Tang in a long time. It's been a long time, man. Yeah, it should be things like, you know, like, you know. Crazy glue? Hot hamburg sandwiches, hot turkey sandwiches. Or gravy, yeah. Kentucky fried chicken. Cologne.

Imagine if a lady came up to you smelling like Kentucky fried chicken. You would love it. No, you'd be saying, take a fucking shower. You know what I'm saying? Or you'd be saying, hey, maybe we should get in the tub. Together. You might attract a lot of the heavier crowd, which is cool.

You know what's fucked up? We all know that squirrels... This whole thing? Yeah, this whole thing. But we all know, like squirrels, they collect that shit. We're still talking about those little fucking cocksuckers? Yes, they do. Do you know that fucking woodpeckers do the same thing?

They do what? They store fucking acorns. They found fucking this house a woodpecker was storing 700 pounds of acorns no it was a squirrel i thought it was squirrels no it's a woodpecker we talked about this like 10 minutes ago this is what we were talking the woodpecker well we were he said it was a squirrel but it was 700 pounds in the walls it's a woodpecker okay oh update update to the story from 10 minutes ago wow i don't even remember you talking about that it's all right man yeah we talked about it remember i said 700 pounds

of squirrel nuts and you like 700 pounds of nuts in your face no man i don't remember you saying that okay well you blacked out then that's weird man six-year-old boy ordered thousand dollars with food from Grubhub on his dad's phone. His dad gave him his phone to play a game. How much food? $1,000. That's a good fucking feast. That's a lot of food. I guess it is. Where did he order it from?

Oh, fucking like 10 different restaurants. $439 at Happy's Pizza. Ooh, that's a lot of pizza. $183 on Jumbo Shrimp. That must have been a nice little seafood tower. That little fucker. 183 bucks on shrimp. Holy fuck, it'd be a shrimp tower like that. Parents are like, fuck you. Smashed his piggy bank open, took all the money he had. 100 and something bucks.

Aw, the poor little fella. Poor kid, man. They shouldn't do that. That's child abuse. Is it? Well, they shouldn't have gave him the phone it's not his fault he didn't know what he was doing yeah yeah you're right it's parents fault parents fault they don't get his money apparently hub grub fucking got a hold of him and gave him a gift certificate for a thousand bucks pretty good so he did well then so they got to keep the thousand dollars worth of

food they probably had a beautiful meal. They smashed open his piggy bag for nothing. So the morale of that story is we should get you to be asleep somehow and you order food on my phone and we'll call him up and say, no, no. No, no. Our friend. He was asleep. That's a good idea.

Just get your credit card in the bus. It's not great. But it's because it was a little kid Ricky we could say little Mo little Mo Mo did it well if you get Mo to do it yeah alright I know

what we're doing for the next party we have free catering you know what let's do it for St. Paddy's Day yeah we got another month another month

let's get it going fuck up where is that I don't fucking know what 15th or something isn't it I be honest Another month. Another month. Let's get it going. Fuck up. Where is that? Not a fucking... What? ...15th or something, is it? Right.

Be honest. It's the 17th, man. Isn't it usually? Yeah, man. The tides of March is the 15th, I think. It's the Ides, man, of March. What is that, the Ides of March? It's Julius Caesar or something, man.

He was killed or something, wasn't he? Yeah, right. Beware of the Ides of March. I thought it was Napoleon. 15th of March, buddy. It was Julius Caesar when they stabbed the cocksucker. man he's killed or something wasn't it yeah right beware the odds march i thought it was napoleon 15th of march it was julius caesar when they stabbed the cocksucker right scat in my who was it brutus and those as shakespeare made the whole thing up what what are you talking about didn't he make up julius no character one of his books

wasn't it no he was a real guy ricky okay i don't know what I'm thinking about, but not the right stuff. Julius Caesar was like the emperor of Rome. He was a real fella. Apparently he was quite a guy to party with, too. Quite a party. Yeah. Did you know that we were supposed to hug cows on Valentine's Day? Fuck off. That's what the Indian government was recommending.

Hug a cow. Yeah. That's not very nice now. It said hugging a cow will bring emotional richness. You can get rich as fuck. And I don't know what that word is. Drunk. Individual and collective happiness.

And you're supposed to get rich? Emotional richness, yeah. All right. Emotional richness. Same thing, isn't it? We're going to fucking hug? Emotional richness, yeah. All right, emotional richness. Same thing, isn't it? We're going to fucking hug a cow. You know what? Let's do it.

I think if you hug a cow, then it's like really worth a lot more money, isn't it? Hugging a cow, why? Isn't that what they do with, I thought there was special stakes where they hug the cows or massage them or something. Yeah, and that's not from one hug ricky no massage it man they don't let it that's like they do it every day that's wagyu and kobe kobe beef in my

big little frame of mind i was wondering what do the cows think you know you're standing there eating your grass and all of a sudden these weird creatures come up and just start hugging you and massaging you they don't have a clue they're just too dumb, and all of a sudden these fucking weird creatures come up and just start hugging you and massaging you. They don't have a fucking clue, man. They're just too dumb. Cows are not smart. No, they're smart as fuck. No, they're not, man. Cows are very smart.

Cows are fucking dumb. So what the fuck do they think? Like, if I was standing there and this little giraffe came up and started hugging me or massaging me, I'd be like, yeah, I guess actually that'd be kind of cool. No, you know what happens when you... How could a giraffe massage you, Ricky? A little tiny miniature one. A miniature giraffe, Ricky.

Fuck, I wish they had those. I'd have one right in this living room. How could he massage you with his hooves? Oh, he could put little attachments on them. Attachments on the hooves. Little hands. Little magnetic computerized hands. On his mini giraffe.

That massages him. What a time we'd have. So when do we have to hug the cows? Valentine's Day. We missed it. Next year. All right. We're doing it next year.

362 more days. You know what? I think there might be something to that I think we should try man you want a cow do you think we should just hug every animal we see for the day what's this hug your mom I might be the same kind of thing wouldn't Is it she again? Oh, she's a, she's a pig. Terrible, just terrible people. Unless, you know, it's her face. Boys, I think I got diabetes. Why? Cause I'm falling asleep. Here man, you need sugar. Where's, we need some honey.

No, no, we gotta do, here, let me see your finger. We need to inject you with honey. No, you're not pricking me. I'm just a little prick. No, don't be pricking me. I'm just a little prick. No, don't be pricking me. I don't like it. Did you guys hear about these... I got the diabetes.

Did you hear about these little mice? It's called the Pacific Pocket Mouse. Yes. No, I never even knew these existed. They thought they were extinct for 20 years, but they came back. There's one of them named Patrick Stewart after some guy on a famous space show, apparently. That's Star Trek, Ricky. Next Generation.

That's a big show. Jean-Luc Picard. He's got the world record for oldest mouse. Oldest pocket Pacific mouse. Who? The only way as much as three pennies, which is not much, is it? Nope. That's very light.

He's fucking nine years old, 209 days. He's a mouse? He's a Pacific Pocket Mouse. He was born at San Diego Zoo. Three pennies. Safari Park under something. Breeding program. What's the name of these fucking things?

The Pacific Pocket Mouse. Pacific Pocket Mouse. Pocket Mouse. They're just like a little mouse you keep in your pocket. No, no. That's what I thought. They call it pocket mouse because they have little pockets in their cheeks like a chipmunk. Oh, I thought it was cool.

You just keep him right in here and he just peeks his head out. See, this is what I'm saying. The UFOs could be like a little pocket fucking mouse in there. And we just killed them. It's smart as fuck, though. Blew their fucking heads off. Yeah. That was nice of us.

Disintegrated them with a fucking... Not a very fair fight, is it? Fucking fighter jet against a floating object with no weaponry. Laser guided missile right into the fucking side of it. And you know what else it could be? What if it was like some little kid, like a young little alien, just got his

fucking pilot's license. And he's just checking things out. We're gonna go fucking look at humans. Little teenager. Yeah. Let's go to this earth place. And he's just checking things out. He's taking a little trip. We're going to go fucking look at humans. Little teenager. Yeah. Let's go to this earth place. Apparently it's quite nice. Yeah, wait until Big Daddy fucking decides to come down here and take care of some business.

Yeah. You killed my fucking children. Pacific pocket mice. You are fucking disintegrating. Oh, yeah, they're cute little fuckers. Let's see who got born quickly. If I was 1867, same year as Canada. William Cadbury.

The chocolate man. William Cadbury. The chocolate man. Fucking Rene Russo. Wow. Not many other people or what? Richard Caron Wilson from America, or Home Improvement. Lou Diamond Phillips, Julian.

Oh. Me? Oh. Ay-yi-yi-yi-yay-la-bamba. Larry the Peabody. Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yay-la-bamba. Michael Jordan. Fuck, what?

Michael Bay. Michael Bay. Luke Robitaille. Denise Richards. Billy Joe Armstrong? Taylor Hawkins? Oh, Taylor Hawkins. Oh, man.

All right. Let's do it for him. Yeah, man. Taylor Hawkins. Rip, rip, rip. Jason Ritter? Oh, Jack R Jack Ritter son Paris Hilton holy fuck what a day this is you can watch certain types of videos and listen to music curse Hilton's video we're not watching Paris Hilton's video Ed Sheeran gonna

crank some edge tonight I'll listen to Ed Sheeran? Going to crank some Ed tonight? I'll listen to Ed Sheeran. All right. All right. You little Galway boy. You little what? You like the redheads, don't you? I like Ed Sheeran. The redheads.

I don't like him because he's got red hair. He's a good songwriter. Who do you like more, Ed Sheeran or the Tristan Capaldi? No, it's not Tristan. Tristan Capaldi. What's William Capaldi? Lewis. Oh, Lewis Capaldi?

Where the fuck did Tristan come from? Lewis Capaldi. I think he's fantastic. Did you see the video of him in a little bathing suit? No. He's aggressive. Apparently he's got a pair of glasses similar to mine that he puts on. Sounds like you've got a crush on him.

I might. Did you see the bathing suit picture yet? No. I bet you'll be looking it up soon, though, won't you? No, I don't want to see Lewis Capaldi in that. All right, we've got to go. Let's do it. We've got to fucking know why we've got to go.

We're on our way to Portland. Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck, I forgot we were going to Portland. We are going to Portland Friday night, which to Portland. Friday night, which is tonight. Saturday night and Sunday night. We got to fuck. Portland. Portland Fan Expo, isn't it?

Yes. Or is it just a parade? That's an eight-hour flight, man. Yeah, but we gained four hours, so it's nothing. Come to the Fan Expo. Come see us. In Portland. Come see us.

Bring presents. Michael Fox. Oh, yeah. Michael J. Come see us. Bring presents. Michael Fox. Oh, yeah, Michael J. Fox. We're going to meet Michael J. Fox tonight. And Doc. Doc. Christopher Lloyd. I am pumped.

Holy fuck. And the guy from The Living Dead. Who? No, he's not there, man. Evil. Oh, Bruce Campbell. Yeah, Evil. The Night of the Evil.

Bruce Campbell's there. Okay. Michael J. I got to get my hoverboard, boys. I got to bring my hoverboard, get him to sign it. All right, we're getting drunk with Michael J. Fox tonight and Doc. We'll see you after Portland if we survive, motherfuckers. We're the Gators.

See the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer. motherfuckers. They're gators.