Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 42 - horsec*ck21

Episode Date: March 14, 2022

Someone put too much weed butter on the popcorn, the Boys are f**ked today! Find out how much they charge for horsec*ck redirects (and a coupla half-jacks), and Bubbles appraises a one-nostril kitty called Egbert. Yep, we told you they're F**KED!

Show the fucking known. What? There's weed butter on that. I haven't eaten it. Now I'm fucked. Oh, but that's fucking delicious. It's clearly got fucking weed butter on it. Well, I don't have the. Now I'm fucked. That's fucking delicious. It's clearly got fucking weed butter on it. Well, I don't have the taste buds that you have.

What? When did you lose your taste buds? I didn't lose them. They're just not muscularly developed like yours are. You have muscular taste buds. Yes, I worked out on my fucking taste buds, did I? Probably. It's a snappy shirt you got on, man.

Yeah, are you going to a fucking dance or something? No, I just felt like putting on a nice one. So I did. March the 11th, huh? Look how many snaps are on the wrist. That's fucking, that's way too much, man. No, those are all... It's aggressive, it's snappy.

All functioning snaps right there, look. Why do computers have to be so fucked? Every time I come into your fucking trailer, the internet's fucked. Like, whose internet are you stealing? Wayne's. Wayne, does he? I think he put a fucking lock on it. Wayne put a firewall up.

Do you know how to fucking bypass the firewall? Yes, I do know how to bypass a firewall. I'm just going to use your phone, Bubz. Alright, done. I'm on. Wayne's been using the same password his whole life. What is it? All small case horse cock 21.

Horse cock 21? Yeah, Wayne uses it for everything. It's a weird one. What's the 21 all about? 21 inches, I assume. That's about average, I think, for a horse, isn't it? A 21-inch cock on a horse. That's about average or smaller than average.

I saw a video where this chick... Yeah, a 21-inch is about... Yeah, that sounds... The horse is mating, but they don't want it to knock up another horse, so they whip the fucking old horse cock. Yeah. They stick a fucking bag or like a... No, they put it on a big milker.

Jesus, man. A horse still hammering away. He thinks he's doing it with the other horse, but he's... How much would you have to get paid to do that job a year? Horse cock redirector? and jerker no they don't jerk them they just this lady was jerking it she was clearly jerking it they just aim the fucking thing into the machine horse cock Redirector. You know. How much? If you had gloves and goggles on so you didn't get any blowback.

Jeez, a hazmat suit maybe. You'd want big gloves, big welding gloves. All right. And maybe a welding mask. Okay. So what's the price? Because if you got blasted with it, if it got loose. Yeah.

You know, if it got loose, you know, if it went rogue and you couldn't control it. So the question is, how much would they have to pay you? Like, what kind of salary are we talking here? I don't know. Come on. How much? Not that much.

How much would you want to get paid? Just your average kind of drug dealing wage. So what? 40, 50 grand? A year? Yeah. I could definitely do it for that. Okay.

Bubs? Well, how many times a day are we talking? 40 grand a year? Yeah. How much? Yes, I would do it for 40 grand. You would be the cock redirector. There's no jacking.

It's a redirect. You're still touching, grabbing ahold of a big, big, big meaty cock like every day. It's an animal cock, though. It doesn't matter. Okay. And you're not doing it because you love it. You're doing it to make that money. All right.

So these two, anybody out there has lots of fucking stallions they want jacked off no there's no jacking be a hell of a lot more money if there was jacking involved okay we're talking about maybe a couple fucking jacks because they want to make sure every bit is out well that's not it's not a full jack that's just a squeeze okay so a couple half jacks that's a squeeze drain so you probably if you did, 50, you would do it easily for 25 cash. 25 cash? Yes, I would. For a full year's worth?

Full years. 25 cash is like making 50, Ricky. Yeah? Really, by the time the fuck dirty old government. Can we sleep on it? Can you what? Can we sleep on it? We'll ask, maybe for next week.

We'll try to get you a job. If anybody's looking for them, they're both available. No jacking though. Have two half jacks into the sucker. A squeeze drain. Okay, two squeezes and two half jacks. Done. 25 grand cash a year.

That's quite a thing, man. You got to do it every day? Yes, you do. Maybe twice on fucking Sundays, maybe, as they say. I wouldn't do it for fucking a million dollars a year, okay? That's my fucking price. Whatever. I'm not touching it.

A million bucks a year a million dollars I'm not dealing with I'm not dealing with horse cock every day of my fucking life unless you're paying me you drank horse load

shut up I did not drink horse load you fucking your cartoon did yeah well you drank cartoon Julian drank horse load well

that was a lot there was a lot of drugs involved in that fucking thing how did we get what are we talking about jacking off horses and how much Well, there was a lot of drugs involved in that fucking thing. How did we get, what are we talking about? Jacking off horses and how much. How did we get on that? Julian was Googling horse cars. It came up and there was a video.

Wayne's Password. So we went from Wayne's Password to all of a sudden, how much our salary would be to jerk off horses. And which would be 25 grand cash not to jerk them off well to redirect them at the you know they're already hurt you're not going from scratch to get them revved up he's already after two fucking weeks two months i mean on the job doing that every day you wouldn't chat you wouldn't you'd be jacking and grabbing his balls give a fuck no it wouldn't be it'd be like dealing with dead people every day yeah pretty much wow desensitize that uh i'd bring him right into your trailer and

just start fucking hosing the place down see that would be would be fucked. You're making an omelette? I'd bring him right in the trailer up to the stove. Well, making an omelette. Now, see, you're taking it. Like, that's too much, man. No, if you were making an omelette. We're talking about jacking it. Now you're talking about eating it on your fucking eggs.

No, on your eggs. I'd put it on your eggs. It's fucking gross, man. Do you think it would be a lot? Oh, my fuck, Ricky. It's a 25-inch fucking horse cock. You mean a lot of volume? Yeah.

Oh, Jesus, Ricky. Volume, distance, everything, man. It's like breaking records. There's no way a human could do what they can do. I think they measure it in gallons, I think. Gallons? I'm pretty sure. Fuck.

You know, like Thunderbolt puts out, you know, two and a half gallons or whatever they say. How many liters in a gallon? Maybe it's liters. No, I think it's gallons. Jesus, they must have big balls. They've got massive balls, man. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

Just Google her up there, Julian. What do you want to know? How much load comes out of a horse? I thought we were moving on here. I will do it because, I mean, 25 grand, I do get a cut of that, by the way. You do not get any cut of anything. Fucking rights I do side if you want to come and help with the redirect much in case there's a big you know a big one that's hard

to get redirected you'd have to get in there and just really use the muscles how much load does a horse produce here we go how much load yeah that's not come out. Oh, how much is it worth per gallon? Okay, that means a gallon. Holy fuck! Now we're going to see somebody change their tune. Okay, we're talking $4.7 million in one gallon of horse load. It must be quite a horse. $4.7 fucking...

Now we're going to see somebody change their tune and say he'll eat it on his fucking eggs for that money. Okay, how many times can a horse fucking jizz in one day? 18 times. So, boys, you'd be doing it for 18 times a day for one year for 25 fucking grand. 18 times five. That's almost 100. 18 times five. It's almost $100 million in a horse load. Okay. Okay, 18 times 5. That's almost 100. 18 times 5. It's almost $100 million in a horse load.

Okay. Okay. 18 times 8. It must be a catch. It must be a catch. Not every horse has $4 million load. You're talking probably like Seabiscuit fucking load. That's what we're talking about.

You know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. This horse has got to make money for the load to be worth $4.7 million. Yeah. You're not going to go down to fucking Wilson's Farm there and jerk his horse off for 4 million bucks. No, man. But if you snuck in the Seabiscuit's burn, it's secret, Jack. Jacked him off 18 times in a day.

He might be getting close to a gallon. I don't know. No one would even know. All right, that's what we're going to do. The horse would, I guess. How much sperm is in a straw? What the fuck kind of question is that? Like 0.5 milliliters in a straw.

All right. Now we do know. Talking about loading straws. I don't know why that's even in there. I'll never be able to use a straw again. Think it's been preloaded. Can cows fuck horses? Why are you Googling?

It's a donkey. No, it's not. That's a fucking donkey, man. Not cows and horses. It's fairly fucking common. A cow and a horse doesn't make a donkey. No, it looks like a donkey, but it's not. It's a half. Wow. So a cow cow and a horse doesn't make a donkey. No, it looks like a donkey, but it's not.

It's a half. Wow. So a cow can bang a horse? Donkeys fuck cattle sometimes because those donkeys are relentless. They just want to get fucked.

They don't care who they fuck. What comes out? A fucking half a cow, half a donkey. A mule? A cow donkey. A cowule? A cow donkey. A cowkey. A conkey.

A conkey. Holy fuck. All right, that's enough. Okay, so there we go. I mean, can pigs fuck dogs? Yes. They fucking do. What comes out?

Those dirty little fuckers. Hogs. It looks like it's like a pig with a dog head. Hogs. Are you fucking sh. What comes out? Those dirty little fuckers. Pogs. It looks like it's like a pig with a dog head. Pog digs. Are you fucking shitting me right now? Yeah. Dig pogs. I've never heard of a pig dog.

Dig pog. I'd like to have a fucking pig dog, man. They look pretty cute. I wish you'd make money with those motherfuckers. What was your girlfriend in high school? I was going to say your mom. She does, this does look like your mother school. I was going to say your mom. She does, this does look like your mother a little bit, just from the back end.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Boys, I'm right out of her. Good kiddo. This is good stuff, man. Did you hear about Egbert? Egbert? Yeah.

Egbert Humperdinck? No, it was a cat. Who's Egbert? Hebert? Yeah. Egbert Humperdinck? No, it was a cat. Who's Egbert? He's a cat in Ohio. He was got born with one eye and one nostril. And he fucking

lit up the internet. And he just got adopted. I'm surprised you didn't adopt him. I never heard about Egbert. Who's Egbert? Again, a cat?

I don't give a fuck about Egbert. One eye, one nostril cat in Ohio. One nostril. I've never had a one-nostril kitty. Just so you know, if a dog, a dog's not going to fuck a cat

because the cat's egg cannot get fertilized by a dog load. Just so you know. They can still bang it, though. I'm sure they want to. Cats can bang dogs, too. Remember Ronnie Thunder grabbed that little chihuahua, put blocks to him? Well, you can't knock up a...

The sperm doesn't work. No, I'm just saying. He just put the blocks to him, that's all. Egbert. You think that's a good cat name or no? Egbert. I've had cats named Egbert, and I've had many one-eyed kitties, but I've never had a one-nostril kitty. A one-nostril kitty. So what does it look like?

You know how a cat has two nostrils? Yeah. This one has one. Just one. Just one in the middle or just, is it to the side? No, this side of the face is like normal. This side is fucked. It's missing.

What? Probably just smooth. Just hair. Just fur. Did he have a slit for an eye or not even a slit? I don't think so. I think he's just nothing. Decent.

He looked pretty cute. Egbert. Look up Egbert the one nostril kitty. Egbert. Egbert, yeah. I guess he fucking took right over the internet. Well, let's see what happens. Egbert.

He just got adopted. One-eyed kitty? One. They used to review movies. He's got one eye, one nostril, and one cock. That was the guys who reviewed the movies, wasn't it? Roger and Eggberg? What the fuck?

That cat was fucked, man. No, it doesn't. He's adorable. Maybe I hooked up the wrong one. Oh, man. No, it doesn't. It's durable. Maybe I hooked up the wrong one. Oh, fuck. You wake up to this thing fucking face-to-face in the morning, you're throwing it. Let's see it.

He, well, it's not too, well, it looks kind of fucked. Oh, he's awesome. He looks like he's got two fucking holes in the noses, though. Maybe one's plugged. Maybe he just needs to blow his nose. I was thinking it was going to look different. I thought it was going to have like half a head. No, he looks kind of normal.

He looks great. I would love to have that kitty. Yeah, that's a great looking cat. They should get him appraised, though. Appraised? Appraised. Okay, as a certified appraiser of cats, how much do you think that cat's worth? Oh, I mean, I'd have to see him in person, but...

Just from looking at him. Just based on that, a hundred grand. I was going to say... Okay, you got to keep in mind the social media fucking part of it. That brings him up. No, he's about a hundred grand. A hundred thousand? As he sits. You could have him for free. That brings him up. No, he's about a hundred grand. A hundred thousand? As he sits.

You could have him for free. Fuck's sakes. Wow. I wouldn't have sold him anyway, but I'm not. You know, we should start collecting fucked up animals like a fucking half cow,

Who's been collecting fucked up animals their whole life? I'm talking about other things other than just one-eyed, one-nosed cats. We could start like a fucked up... I saw a seagull with one leg at McDonald's.

See, that's the kind of shit. If we had that... You probably pulled his fucking leg off, did you, Ricky? No. I'm talking about a fucked up animal petting zoo. Who wouldn't pay to go see that? I would. So would I.

That'd be great. So? Remember I had that kitty who only had back legs and he could walk upright? See? We could get a fucking seagull with one leg, get a cat like this, get a fucking cow, horse. A course. A course. Or a owl.

You got a petting zoo, man. You could shave a couple animals and just say that they're bald. Fucking reins. I like to have a bald tiger. Have you ever seen a bald bear? He looks like a giant rat. Really? Bald bears are fucked.

They're not cuddly and cute looking. Look like a fucking horrible demon. They look like big rats. Big fucking dirty rats. Like the fucking guy on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. That's Striker. Splinter. Looks like one of those little fuckers.

Yeah, Splinter. Right on. Woo! What else you got for us, Rick? These triplet sisters in the Congo all proposed to the same man on the same day. Lucky fucker. It's a weird one.

Did he have to pick one, or did he just say yes to all three? He almost fainted, and then he eventually agreed to fucking do it. Which one did he marry? All three of them. Motherfucker. Three twins, identical twins. Jesus, that would be weird, wouldn't it? He went on a date, and he couldn't really tell them apart,

and they all sort of fell for him. He must have had some nice equipment. And they all fell for him, so they all got married. See, now people's minds are racing, thinking, oh, my God, three identical sisters in the sack. I bet you that shit's not happening. It's probably just one-on-one, right? Am I right?

Well, if they're twins, though, then they might be, you know. I don't know. We'd have to service each one of them every day anyway, so it's a win-win for him. Is it, though? Yeah, maybe not. That's just kind that's kind of weird, man. Yeah, the families

thought it was fucked. They didn't even go to the wedding. But, you know what's a good thing about it? Say, Sister A, she's, you know, cranky and shit, and you don't want to deal with her, you go to Sister B. You're like, hey, how's it going? No, you got to be equally nice.

That's what I'm saying, but people do get in a bad mood, bubs. I'm just saying you could go from A to C or C to B and one of them's got to be in a good fucking mood. If they're identical twins, I think they get cranky at the same time.

That doesn't happen, man. No? You can't get three fucking twin chicks fucking cranky at the same time. Maybe. They have weird connections through the air. They can read each other's minds and stuff. Like the amazing Kreskin. Twins can.

Some of them. Man just that's in the movies bubs no david here's some more twin gossip all right this is not really gossip it's fact excuse me all right well these two twins female met these two male twins at the annual Twins Day Festival in Ohio. Yeah. Which is a bit strange. And they all got married. They had a double proposal, double wedding, and they both gave birth to little boys. And did they look the same?

They're identical. Are you fucking kidding me? No. Twins are weird, man. Yeah. The two kids looked identical? Well, they looked similar. Here's the other weird fucking thing.

They all live together. They all live together. It's a weird one. There might be some secret. There must be some swap shop going on, I would think, even if it's unintentional. Holy man. Secret swapping.

Twins are fucked. I think twins are fucked up. You know that? Let's all go to a twin fucking, what do they call it? Twin expo? Let's all get together and celebrate their... Here's the deal. What if you're a fucking twin that's been going to these stupid parties for 20 years straight,

and then your brother fucking dies? Do you still go to the party, or do you get shunned? You do a weekend of Bernie's and drag his corpse there. See, it's fucked. It's just a fucked... The whole thing's fucked to me. There's no way there's not some double dipping going on There's gotta be

No, there doesn't Just cause they're twins doesn't mean they're fucking Swapping Why live together unless it's not At least in the back of your mind But what's the advantage To swapping It's the identical.

Well, you've got to just make sure. And the thing is, you could knock up your brother's wife, and the DNA would be the same anyway, wouldn't it? You couldn't. You're like, okay, you fucking tested there, bro. If we had the exact same car, you wouldn't want to at some point take mine for a drive. When you put it that way, no, man.

I don't give a fuck. No. I'm driving the same car. That's right. Unless your car fucking got in an accident and had some problems. Like, you know, the quarter panel's all crushed in. What if I got, like, a performance exhaust put on it? See?

What'd you want to try? There you go. Wow. Or a brand new bumper. Or a nice big set of headlights. Yeah. Great big, extra big set of headlights. Then you might want to take it for a test drive. If they're identical cars

but for some reason one of them's just faster. Aftermarket cars. It's just faster. It's louder. Dirtier. See, then you'd want to take it for a test drive more slick got a new paint job hey it just works better it just can fucking you know it's just dirtier okay but see that's the thing one could be like a you sit in the grass you clean it every day and

it's nice the other one you could take it to the fucking grace track and just roast the shit out of it. See? You're right. Okay, you're right, Rick. You know what? You're making sense today. I don't know if this is popcorn.

This could be altering things a little bit. It's great. It's awesome, man. This fucking nine-year-old Brazilian boy got on a fucking airplane and flew 2,500 kilometers with no bag,

no ticket, and no identification. You know how he did it? How? He googled how to get on a plane unnoticed. See? Smart kid, man. Let's try it. Smart fucking kid. And it worked?

Well, he got 2,500 kilometers away before his parents realized he was missing. That's fucking great, man. Google it. It's easy to do. You can do anything with the Google, right, bubs? No, I'm saying Google it. Oh, Google it. I wonder what the...

I wonder what it says. How to travel on, what am I looking up here? How to get on a plane unnoticed. How to get on a plane unnoticed. All right, just a second. I mean, it probably is easier if you're nine years old, I guess. Oh. I just think you're with your parents or some bullshit.

Oh, yeah, they'd say you coming from a hundred miles away, I reckon. I'm probably on a no-fly list anyway, wouldn't I be? Yeah, I think we are. You got to get away. I mean, there's ways around it. All right, here we go. You do that, it just comes up, boy sneaks on a fucking flight.

Clock sucker. So he ruined it for everyone else. Well, you just got to go down. Go way the fuck down. Nope. This guy's taking up everything. Oh, here we go. Homeland security shit. No, fuck we go. Homeland security shit.

No, fuck those guys. No, you're definitely on no-fly zone. Get me the fuck off that site. TSA, fuck off. No, you can't do it, man. Buddy ruined it. What a little prick. How does a miner bring a vape on a plane without getting caught?

Easy. How? Anus. What? I guess if you want it that bad. You're going to get scared. Well, you don't get scared all the time. What did you say?

If you want to vape on the plane, hard to vape up your ass when you're anus. Anus vape. Yeah. Okay, that'sus, babe. Yeah. Okay, that's it, man. That's kind of annoying. What is it?

It's a phone. Is it Randy's? Fuck Randy. And then I was reading about this woman in New Mexico. She pulled a fucking gun on a guy that was driving in front of her because he had a bumper sticker that said he was vaccinated. She pulled a gun on him? Yeah, she wasn't happy about it.

She's fucked. Well, fuck off, everybody. I read one the other day. A woman went on a date with a fella. Mm-hmm. Didn't like him. Ran him over with his own car. Fuck.

First date? Ran him over. Drove around the block. Came around again. He was crawling on the road. Over him again. He must have tried to do some weird shit to her. No, they said...

They arrested her and they asked her and she said, I just didn't like him. Didn't like the way the date was going. She ran the motherfucker over him. Yeah. He must have smelled bad. She didn't say he did anything weird. He just, she said I didn't like the way the date was going.

Did he stink, at least? Don't know. That's really weird, man. I could see wanting to run Brandy over. I've wanted to run over some dates, but I never have. No, you can't do that. You can, but it's not going to end well. All right.

Well, did I just eat a bunch more popcorn? Yeah, man. I can't wait for later on. You know what? You're going to be fucked until Sunday. Let's see who got born on the March of the... Who did? Malcolm Campbell.

Snoop? No, he's a British motorist. Malcolm Campbell? You say Snoop, though. Snoop, is this his birthday? No. No. Who said Snoop?

Fuck, I don't know, man. The popcorn says Snoop. Snoop on the brain. Because I'm fucked. Might as well just... He set the world land and water speed record. Who did? Malcolm?

Malcolm Campbell, yeah. How fast? 228 kilometers an hour at that point. When he was going down the lake, was he in the middle? I go 228 kilometers an hour all the time. Yeah, but this was back... He was born in 1885, man. Oh, fuck.

Well, shit like you've got. What the fuck was he in? He was in a V12 Sunbeam. Boat? I don't know. It's a car, man. When he was on the boat going down the lake, was he in the middle? Oh, 220 kilometers an hour.

Sorry, that was on water holy that's pretty fucking fast yeah that's what i mean was he in the middle when he was doing it he was in a bluebird k4 i don't know what the fuck that is but i'd like to have one but was he going down the middle i don't have a fucking video what man what are you talking the middle the middle why would he go near the shore so he was going down the middle the middle of what, man? What are you talking about? The lake. The middle. The middle of the what? Why would he go near the shore? So he was going down the middle. The middle of what? The lake? The lake. Jesus fuck, boss. You know what that makes him? What?

Malcolm in the middle. See? Nice setup, man. That was a nice setup. Wow. Keep going. Malcolm in the middle. Oh my god, Julian. Prepare to get fully erect. Alright, I can, Julian. Prepared to get fully erect. All right, I can't wait.

This is a... You might want to drink all night for this. Let me get prepared for this. What? 1961. Guess who got born. Oh, fuck. Ken.

Who? Who? Barbie and... Ken? Why the fuck do I give Barbie and... Ken? Why the fuck do I give a fuck about Ken? You've modeled your whole body after him. No, I have after Ken? I think.

You're fucked, man. Except for the Ken bow. No, man. I thought you were like Ken Shamrock or something. That'd be better. Oh. Not Ken fucking Barbie's bitch. I thought you liked his body.

No, man. What do you mean? body. No, man. What do you mean? It's a fucking doll. You've got a similar package. Yeah, that's a funny one, Bob. Ken bump. Ken bump. You've got a smooth Ken bump.

All right, there's no. I'm not into it. Oh, Shemp Howard. You know him, right? Who? Yeah, Shemp Howard. One of the Three Stooges. One of the Stooges. Fuck that. Which one was he? Yeah, Shemp Howard. One of the Three Stooges. One of the Stooges.

Which one was he? He was Shemp, Ricky. He replaced Curly. Ah, okay. After Curly took a stroke, Curly stroked out. Lawrence Welk, he was pretty big, wasn't he? Mm-hmm. He was, yeah, you know what?

He used to be on TV every weekend, man. Lawrence Welk, he had a group of- Right before Disney. He had groupies that used to follow him around called Welkheads. You serious? Nope. Oh. Made that up.

Bobby McFerrin. Bobby McFerrin. She cranked the shit out of that right now. Bobby McFerrin. Bobby McFerrin. She cranked the shit out of that right now. Be happy. That's Randy's favorite song.

Shut the fuck up, boys. It's got to stop. Don't worry me. I got to go. Are we done? That song makes me violent, man. Vinnie Paul, drummer from Pantera. Awesome. He's dead now, unfortunately.

Yeah. Never liked Pantera, really. I wasn't a big fan of them as well. What about Steel Panther? Do you like them? I like the Pantera car, though. Steel Panther? Yeah, man.

Steel Panther? We saw Steel Panther? Yeah, man. Steel Panther? We saw Steel Panther. The Whiskey Gogo? No. The fucking... The Hard Rock. Rainbow? No.

Oh, it was the Hard Rock, was it? The Viper Room. No. No. It was the Viper. Oh, it might have been the Viper Room. It was the Viper Bubs. No, never saw them at the Viper Room.

We saw them at the Hard Rock. It was the Hard Rock. Oh, it was the Rock. I think it was the Rocks. It was the Ro Rock. Oh, it was the Rock. I think it was the Rock. It was the Roxy. Fucking Sebastian Bach was there before we knew him. That's right. He got up and sang a couple songs.

Oh, yeah. He was up singing with those motherfuckers. That's right. The Rock. Good memory, boys. Nessie night. Oh, it was an awesome night. Good remembering.

Yeah. Terrence Howard. Whatever. He's an American actor, I guess. Great for him. Terrence Howard? Whatever. He's an American actor, I guess. Great for him. Are we done? I got to go, boys, obviously. He was in a movie called It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp.

I got to get to the liquor store before this really fucking comes to me. Johnny Knoxville. Got born to us. Johnny Knoxville. The man with the destroyed penis Have you seen the new one yet? The new jackass? No, I'm gonna watch it

Let's watch it tonight I haven't seen it yet Let's do it, man Let's watch it tonight Can we go to the movie theater? No, I gotta say I get all the movies jacked, man I'd love to go get some movie popcorn I haven't had popcorn in ages

Can you make more of that? Yeah. Done. Woo! All right, I got to go to the store. Commission, I need some booze, boys. Done. Get me something.

I'm making one stop. Ah! What the fuck is that? Gum. Jesus Christ, I'm glad I didn't eat it. I almost ate that. All right, see everybody later. Bye. You want to suck my throat? Jesus Christ, I'm glad I didn't eat it. I almost ate that. All right, see everybody later. Bye.

You want to suck my soul? Jesus Christ. Where in the fuck did you get that, Ricky? Somebody sent it to me. Oh, I need to have one of those. Makes me want to race NASCAR. Bob, I'm selling those online at the store, by the way. Okay.

So, buy one. All right. It's been a slice. Until next time. Fuck off.