Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 43 - Snowmegeddon

Episode Date: January 27, 2020

It's colder than a snowman's cock out there! The Boys discuss the snowed-in folk of Newfoundland, what it's like to be a hunky muscleman like Julian, and predicting the future with pepperoni. Also: Who's got balls as big as golf balls?!

Starting a bit of spring cleaning early this year. Randy, the fucking asshole, says he's only taking garbage if it's in fucking garbage bags, so fuck him. Let's put this in the garbage bag and he can suck it. Fucking idiot. Holy fuck, it's cold out. What's up, boys? Winter can suck my cock, man. Ricky, what in the fuck are you doing?

Fucking doing some spring cleaning, man. Getting rid of some shit. Ricky, it's not the spring. It's the fucking dead of winter. I've been watching that show, Herders, and it's scaring the fuck out of me, boys. Look at all this shit. Herders?

Yeah, man. Next thing you know, I won't be able to fucking move in here. Hoarders. You're not a hoarder, man. Well, look at this shit. You can barely fucking sit down. It's just getting worse by the days. What are you putting in garbage bags? Randy's will only fucking take stuff if you put it in garbage bags now, he said. He's not taking loose shit, so fuck him.

Then he wraps it up in a garbage bag and he can suck it. Why do you got your table? Are you throwing this out? Yeah. No. It's starting to wiggle too much. And you're throwing this out? Do you know how much stuff has gone on in this fucking chair, bud? Not to mention Moe's been pissing and shitting on it since he was fucking born.

What? Is that a banging chair? Some... Stuff like that may have gone on. Not to mention Moe pissing and shitting on it since he was fucking abhorrent. What? Is that a banging chair? Some...stuff like that may have gone on. Ricky, you can't put your chair in a garbage bag. No, just let him do it, man. Throw that the fuck out. Ricky. It's just like wrapping Christmas presents. Well, alright. We're putting this table back, Ricky.

What do you mean you're putting it back? You're not throwing this out, Ricky. I don't even use it. Your table, we use it every week. For that, that's it, though. Look at all the space it's got now. Ricky, Jesus, Murphy, you can't just throw your table in the fucking garbage bag. Well, if you want to keep the fucking table here, get a nicer one, get a smaller one.

These chairs are too big. They stink. Well, for today, we're using it. You can throw it away. Jesus, have you banged on all these chairs as well? Probably, huh? They stink. Well, for today, we're using it. You can throw it away. Jesus. Have you banged on all these chairs as well? Probably, huh? You probably jacked on them.

The very least. Look at this, man. All right, this chair is fucked. Well, yeah, that one's a bit broken. Fuck you, man. Get off. Jesus. Here, there's not much here.

Help me lift this, because there's not much holding the legs on it. All right, you got it, bud. Shut up. Off the cocksack. Go, bud. So we got to do this now? Interrupt my fucking winter spring cleaner? Ricky. Sit down. You guys are helping me fucking do that later.

I'm not fucking hauling birds with me. You guys think I'm a herder or not? No, you're not a herder, man. It's a hoarder, Ricky. It means hoarding stuff. You're not a full-on hoarder. I thought a hoarder was an animal guy. No, that's a herder.

Animal herder. You got them reversed. A hoarder is somebody that hoards things. Me? No, you don't hoard. You're just lazy and dirty. You just got a lot of shit in here. Where's my... Is this... Yeah, I'm gonna drink some vodka.

Have you recovered from fucking the week and a half mourning? Yes. I'll never recover, but... That was fucked up. It's still fucked up. Yes, it is. We'll have one more drink. What's a hurdle? A hurdle is a thing you need to jump over when you're hurdling.

Hurdle is a... an obstacle is a hurdle. Is there a hurdler? Yes, that's a person that runs and jumps over things. There's a hoarder, a hurdler, a hurder. There's a hoarder, which is somebody that hoards things. Or is a whore. That's a whore. No, that's just a whore, Ricky.

There's a hoarder. A whore-doer. What the? A whore-doer. A whore-doer, a hurdler, a hoarder. Hoard-doer. What the? A hoard-doer. A hoard-doer, a hurdler, a hurder. There's so many words, Rick. There's just so many. There's a different word for everything.

A hurler. A hurler. Puke. Yeah. Hurler. I didn't realize H was such an important word. There's a lot of H words, Ricky. A lot of H words. Hell?

Hell is one. Hunk? Hunk. That's what he is. Keep it going, man. Let's see how many H words you can come up with. What's it like being a hunk? Fuck off, Bubz.

I'm just wondering. I'll never be a hunk. But you've been a hunk for years. You're fucked up. All right. Just tell me what it's like to be a hunk, but you've been a hunk for years. You're fucked up. All right. Just tell me what it's like to be a hunk. Bob, would you shut the fuck up? Just what?

Just tell the people. There's a lot of people watching. Why are you getting into shit like this, man? There's a lot of people watching that will never be a hunk. And I'd like them to know what it feels like to just walk down the street as a hunk. With that confidence. And not just that, the sex appeal. You know what it feels like to just walk down the street as a hunk. With that confidence. And that just that, the sex appeal. You know what?

You've been hanging out with Randy a little bit too much these days, man. No. Yes you have. No. Do you have conversations like this with him? No. I'm just wondering. What kind of conversations do you have with him?

I never thought about, yeah, how fucked up your life must be just to walk around. Would you shut the fuck up? I bet everyone's looking at me. I get it. Is that what it's like, Julie? Yeah, take a little gander. I get it. It's hard not to look.

Let me just get that scram cheese down. Boys, we've got to stop talking about this fucking shit. Is something wrong with the wheels on my shopping cart? Pick it up. No, no, it feels alright. Excuse me, miss. Do you need me to reach the cream cheese up here for you? Pops, that's enough, okay? Shut the fuck up.

If I was a hunk, that's maybe some of the moves I would use. My guts are so fucked. All right, so what's going on? There's a bunch of weird shit going on. No shit. How about the fucking crazy snow in Newfoundland, man? That's fucked. Yes.

Yes. People in Newfoundland. Holy fuck. No bomb. 90 centimeters or some bullshit in 150 kilometer hours. Going around like a motherfucker. Man, that is fucked up. Imagine opening your door, it's just snow.

I'd start to have a fucking loser attack. Remember, I got trapped in my shed one time, remember? Oh, you guys were in jail. I was trapped in my shed for three days. Because it drifted up against it. Three days? Yes. Did you have a panting attack?

I had a, I was a bit nervous. I gotta say it drifted up in front of the door. I couldn't get the door open and my phone line was caught and I didn't have a cell phone back then. So I was trapped. That's why I think somebody once said you should always keep a shovel inside your your home. Well it didn't, wouldn't have done me any good Ricky. I couldn't get the door open to shovel. Luckily, I had lots of craft dinner and ramen noodles. I mean, they knew it was coming, so they could have... If that was me, I would have my snowboard right inside the house. Don't fuck with me, winner.

And then what, just right through the door? How about her? You better have an in-swing door. No, he's got the fucking storm door right there. That's what fucks you. Screen door fucks you in a situation like that. Well, you could snowblow right through it, I bet. Oh, man, they're easy to rip down anyway.

Well, if you look like you. Jesus. If you're a hunk. You know what? They're easy to rip down. An aluminum storm door. You can just... You can just pull off an aluminum storm door with one arm. Fuck.

Well, he'd probably just look at it, the storm door, and be like, I don't know. Fuck this, I'm out of here. I can't handle you guys today, man. Like, seriously. Ma, you're the one that said storm doors are easy to rip down. His is. It's all fucking rotten, man. Are you... What are one that said storm doors are easy to rub down. His is. It's all fucking rotten, man.

Are you? What are you saying? I don't upkeep my fucking things? No, I'm just saying this trailer needs some work, man. Not because you're a hoarder, Ricky. See, I am NNI. No. What?

What did I say? I am NNI. Okay. All right. Did we even say welcome? No, we did not. Okay. All right. Did we even say welcome? No, we did not. Is it still dark? No, it's after dark.

We can do it. Say hi, Ricky. Hi, Ricky. No, Perk, welcome. Dark gone. This is Perk after dark. We're dedicating this show to the people of Newfoundland who are digging out of that big storm.

Digging out, man. If you're in Newfoundland, here, just get out your bottle of Screech and fucking take a big swig. Yep. I hope they stocked up on fucking liquor and beer. Here we go. And dope.

Imagine being stranded in your house with no liquor and dope. Some people would be. Fuck. Not many people in Newfoundland would house with no liquor. Dope. Some people would be. Fuck. Not many people in Newfoundland would be stranded without liquor. Oh, well they sell beer in the stores over there too, right? But I think everything's shut down, isn't it? Yeah, everything's shut down, man, for a while. Not many people in Newfoundland are not gonna have booze in their house before a storm.

I'd like to know what the liquor store sales and the pot sales were the day before the storm. I bet it was fucking through the cock. Probably. Probably. And I bet you Frankie McDonald. Did Frankie McDonald warn everybody? He must have. I don't fucking know.

Type in Frankie McDonald, Newfoundland, storm. He must have warned people to get their cigarettes and their Chinese food and their Pepsi pop. Next time you get bit by a skeeter... A what? Keep this in fucking mind, boys. What, a mosquito? Yeah. Sometimes you can get this parasitic worm from the little cocksuckers, right?

No, they can give you things. And it can cause some shit. This fucking man from India, he got bit by one of those fucking things, and it gave him this parasitic worm, set up shop in his nut sack. Oh, my fuck. And fucking one of those fucking things, and it gave him this parasitic worm, set up shop in his nut sack. Oh, my fuck. And fucking one of his balls swelled right up, and then it calcified.

Oh, my Jesus. How big was it when it calcified? Just like a golf ball, I think. It's not. That's not that big. What's a calcifier? It turns hard. Does it get unhurt?

No, not if it's calcified. What the fuck do you do in that situation? I don't want to have a calcified ball. No, you don't. But at least it was only as big as a golf ball. I mean, that's pretty standard, isn't it? It's calcified. You got big nuts, bud.

Well, but they're not calcified. Yet. But they're still big, huh? Jesus. Your nuts are as big, huh? Jesus. You're not just as big as golf balls? Fuck, buddy. Jesus, let me see one. You got a good set of balls.

Well, is that not normal? Man, I don't know. I don't think so. I'd say a little bigger than a golf ball. Jesus, buddy. Like a small, like a nectarine. Holy Jesus, man. I gotta have a look. Nope. My nuts are not coming out, boys. My balls are happy where they're at.

I can't fucking find, where's the... Alright, just a second. He's not very good at the smart box. Ever notice that? Fuck off, man. Fuck off, will ya? Fuck off, will ya? Fuck off, will ya? Fuck off, will ya? Fuck off, will ya? This is Frank in the town of Myles,

in the Central Island, in the city of Nova Scotia. Major winter storms head towards Iowa on Friday, January 17th. He's not fucking around. No, that's Iowa, though. Six and twelve inches of snow and more. Six and twelve inches of snow and more. That's not Newfoundland. That's not Iowa.

He's doing the whole fucking planet, I think. Yeah, yeah. That's Des Moines, Iowa. Come on, Frankie. Bring her back. Our way, buddy. Here, just a sec. No, everything's going to be about Iowa.

Oh, it is, too. That was the fucking last one he did, man. Oh, you know, he does them every day, so you're going to have to go back three or four days to get to Newfoundland. I'm telling you, man, that was the fucking... That was the last one he did. He's been slapped. Now, fuck off for a second, Frankie.

He's very thorough in his reporting. Jesus Christ, Frankie! Frankie. He's very thorough in his reporting. Jesus Christ, Frankie! What are you doing, man? He's still going, man. Whoa! I got like two fucking minutes. Sir! Frankie overload!

That was fucked! That's for green. Frankie overload. Yeah. Frankie, overload. Yeah. Okay, anyway. Anyway, he's... Newfoundland storm. It was a fucking doozy.

Did you see the footage of the people snowboarding down through the streets? That looked cool. That looked like fun. I'd get on a big toboggan and go right from the top, right down to Water Street. Yeah. Did I ever tell you how big my nuts are? You did. Bigger than golf balls.

So they're like little nectarines. How much do they weigh? Did you ever weigh those suckers? No, I've never put them on a- Is that your dope scale around here? I'm not weighing my balls. Yeah, it's in the- I was just teasing anyway.

I've just got regular size human parts. Nothing is bigger than it's supposed to be. Believe me. All right, so what do you got written down there, Richard? Nothing. No, I got some shit. You got a whole page in. Well, it was, yeah, this is kind of a weird,

there's a Polish farmer that went missing on New Year's Eve. People couldn't figure what happened to the cocksucker. They found some bones on the property. They think that the pigs ate him. Oh, Jesus. Oh, man. Suck. I didn't know pigs ate them. Oh, Jesus. They suck. I didn't know pigs could attack.

Oh, they'll fucking eat you. They'll eat the fuck out of you. That's how you get rid of bodies, man. Pigs will eat fucking. They'll hoard you and then get you. They'll clean a body. How old was, what was his name? I didn't fucking get his age or his name.

They don't hoard you. They herd you. I wonder if he fucking had a heart attack and then they ate him. Or if they actually attacked the cocksucker. No, I don't think they would attack. They're probably not. Oh, man. There's some big fucking pigs out there.

Yeah. What's their attack move? Is it a bite? Is it a claw? You get in the pen with them. It's like a mosh pit, right? And they start fucking. Oh, they squish you.

They squish you. You fall in. You fall. You're fucked. Fuckers. That's a good move. That's a really good move. I don't know if that's true.

Pigs are smarter than they look. Do you want to... They all ram into you until you fall down? They're just like a lot of pigs, man. They fucking weigh hundreds of pounds. Right? Who, your mom and her friends? I was waiting for that. We can send your mom in undercover see if they're heard people yeah we're gonna i'll show you man i don't know i feel bad for the guy did they clean

him right down to the bones just bones that's all yeah man they don't leave much no they can they get teeth they can get how does a pig, like, it's weird, right? Like, how does it even see what it's eating? Because its eyes are up here. It's got this big fucking, what's it called, here. It'd be weird visually. Aw, Ricky. How do you clean a fucking bone right down to the bone?

You lick it. All right. Lick it clean, I guess. This is secret clinical. Fuck off. This is not secret clinical. Fuck sakes. Are you buying tampons, are you? Jesus Christ.

This is the same as two uses of deleting invisible solids. Skip the ad. Fuck off. Here we go. What is this now? Hogzilla, man. Want to see a big fucking pig? Hogzilla?

After nearly five years of work. Is that your mom's nickname? Is this a documentary about your mom? man. Want to see a big fucking pig? Hogzilla? This is a documentary about your mom? Hogzilla? Hogzilla! Hogzilla. Boys, I got a fucking good buzz on him. Putting a little dent in this vodka here.

Blue lobster vodka. Yes, sir. Thank you for coming out. Did you ever see a blue lobster? Yep. I saw one that was fucking orange, too. Then I saw one that was half. It was just a half, right down the middle.

It was half normal and half fucking orange. What's normal? What, dark brown color? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he was half cooked. Split right down the fucking middle, man. But they turn orange when they're cooked. No, they turn red. This was like bright orange, man.

Bright orange lobster. I guess it's pretty normal. Look up two-toned lobster. I'd like to see one. Suck, man. Fuck, it goes right down the goddamn middle. Look at this little fucker. See?

Look at this cocksucker. Yeah, but it doesn't look real violent. I've been swimming with the pigs in the Bahamas, and they're not attacking. Yeah, but they're not going to look at a pig and fucking be a little shook. I don't know. It's a weird one. Maybe the guy fucking didn't feed the pigs for like two weeks. You hopped in the fucking pen.

Sniper took them. Boom. They'll eat you, man. I'm telling you. I'd say he could have been murdered. Somebody killed him, and then he got eaten by the pigs. They should check his bones for bullet holes. Or skull fractures.

Yeah. Because pigs don't fracture your skull. I don't believe that pigs could hit you with anything. I wonder if they could punch. Pigs? No, Ricky, they got pointy hooves. Yeah, but one of them gets stuck right through your hairs. I don't think they're that sharp. Peg hooves? They can't stab you with their hooves, can they?

You get one of those big pigs jumping up on you, man. If he was doing that, he might be able to... Wrap his little hoovey things around your neck and... Dead. No, he's talking about puncturing you with his hoof. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I can see it happening. They should investigate.

They should call... I think the cocksucker was murdered. They should call Jessica Fletcher. I've heard about people cutting up people and feeding them to the pigs. Oh man, there's been all kinds of movies where they fed people to the pigs. Yeah. Deadwood. Remember Deadwood? They were feeding cocksuckers to pigs in that show. I should start herding pigs just in case, just to have the option.

Ricky, you're not gonna be a pig herder. You're not gonna start a pig herding business. Actually, that's a good company. Need to get rid of a body? Call the pig man. Yeah, it's a great business. Great one, man. Great business.

Write up a website. Within two days, you're going to be known as the guy that controls the bodies. The FBI will be here snooping around. I didn't do it. They must have fucking thrown them in my pig barrel. The pig barrel? That's a good name for a bar. Pig barrel.

No, it isn't actually a good name for a bar. Now that I think about it. The pig market. Terrible name. Pig barrel. There used to be a bar here, a restaurant here, called the Apple Barrel. Remember that place?

Maybe it's still there. Pig barrel, or the pig, what did you call it? The pig? Piggies. Yeah. Piggie Sue. That'd be a good name for a bar, Piggie Sue's. Pigs, just pigs.

Pigs. You can't get in the bar unless you're at least 200. Freaky. Guys and girls. Terrible. It's a fucking business, man. It's a terrible business model. I might open a bar called Ugly's

and have me on the cover, on the sign. Come on in to Ugly's. Why would you do that, man? I don't know. You're not fucking ugly. No, man, you're a good looking fella. Well, I'm, you know. Glasses are a, doggy. Why would you do that, man? I don't know. You're not fucking ugly. No, man. You're a good looking fella. Well, I'm, you know. Glasses are a bit foggy.

A lot of people do say I look like a young Brad Pitt. Similar. Yeah. Yeah. The right lighting and shit. Once upon a time in Hollywood, we're built pretty much the same. You know, come on, Babs. Me and Brad Pitt.

If you've ever seen me with my shirt off, picture next to Brad Pitt, like from here down, you wouldn't be able to tell it's a bird. All tanned up with abs I am. I didn't know you were in such good shape. Yeah, I'm tanned up and I got abs. You've never seen them. Really?

Yeah. You doing lots of crunches lately? Lots of crunches. Wow. Yeah. This one lots of crunches lately? Lots of crunches. Wow. Yeah. This one's... Just like Brad. I don't know what to think about this one.

This Kansas, man. Is Kansas a real place or is it just from the yellow brick load or the yellow brick road? It's a real place. Ricky. That's a good porno name. The yellow brick load? What would it even be?

Yeah, what would it be? What would a yellow brick load be? Painful. What it would be. Yeah. It'd be a lot of it and it's frozen, maybe? Well, if it's the size of a brick. Okay, so it is a real place.

Kansas is a real place. Kansas is a real place. This fucking dude wants this trial judge to grant him trial by combat against his ex-wife and her lawyer. He wants to have a fucking sword fight with her. What? Oh my God, he's gotta be out of his mind. I think it's a great idea.

I should be hate your ex. All right, you wanna settle I think it's a great idea. I should be a direct. All right, you want to settle this? Let's fucking... She's got a sword, so yeah, like ninja style. It says trial by combat has never been banned or restricted as a right in the United States. So, but wouldn't that be a fight to the death? It's the problem. It could be, so the judge hasn't ruled on it yet because he doesn't want the court to

be able to rule on a fucking... Oh, you can't. No, it's 2020. We live in a civilized fucking world. Do we, though? Well, not really, but we're supposed to. And, I mean, you can't have a sword fight with your axe. You can't do it.

He'd fucking want to, though. She probably... She might be cool with it, too. She might be, and she might be great with a sword. But the point is... With Quentin Tarantino's movies. What was her name? With the pussy weapon?

Kill Bill. Yeah. Yes. She was great with a sword. But that's not my point. My point is you can't set a precedent where whenever you're in a fucking argument with your ex, you go over there and hand her a sword and say, let's go. Can't do it.

No. It's too crazy. Yeah, I'm on the fence. Ricky, what do you mean? Oh, did you see the video of the lady that went crazy on the guy in the, like, Walmart? He's trying to buy his groceries, and she's telling him he better fucking, and she's screaming at him, motherfucker.

And she's saying, I need to help you. You need help with the Lord. And she's screaming at him. Oh, it's funny. Didn't see that one. No. You should pull it up. Did you hear about those two dicks that were scuba driving?

No. I think it was in Australia or something, but yeah, they fucking put on scuba equipment and they filled their car full of water. So they were underwater driving and they went to the liquor store. Anyway, they got charged with a bunch of shit. What?

Why in the fuck would you decide that's a good idea? So they filled the interior of the car with water? Yeah, with scuba equipment on them. Drove to the liquor store to get beer. They sound like a good time. That's pretty fucked up. Those guys know how to party. I would do that.

That's a weird concept. What if they got in an accident? Well, that was part of the problem. It was dangerous driving. Oh, yeah, because, I mean, you can't really see. The fucking weight of it, though. Wouldn't you think it'd be heavy?

Oh, it'd be a lot of weight on the shocks. The car would be bottomed right out if you didn't have, you know, extra shock. They probably made a lot of money off their little viral video though, I bet. Probably not enough to pay for the car, though.

Was it a shitbox and how was the electronics not all shorted out? Was it called a Ford laser or something? Yeah, that's what I don't understand. There's water in the fucking car. How do they do that? Unless they waterproofed it all somehow. They would have did that, yeah. Because it would just short out everything.

All the fuses, everything would just fucking blow. I call bullshit. Oh, I don't know. They actually were arrested. Is there video of it? Sure, there's got to be some. Because you know they're not going to do it without making it. No, it said their clip went viral. Oh, well, find these got to be something. Because you know they're not going to do it without making it. It said their clip went viral.

Oh, well, find these two deck weeds. Scuba divers inside car. Scuba driving. Scuba driving. Scuba drivers. What the fuck? Oh, speaking of crazy, this fucking fortune teller in England said she predicted Harry and Meghan breaking away from the royals by reading asparagus.

Reading asparagus? Yeah, she throws asparagus, what are they called, flakes? Asparagus flakes. Ears. Yeah, whole pieces? Asparagus ears up in the air, and depending on how they land, she can predict the future. No, she can't. That's the problem.

Some people can. Some people have the ability to do it, man. No, they do not. They're what you call bullshitters. No, man. Are they con artists? Yes. Nobody can fucking see into the future

by throwing asparagus into the fucking air. That sounded a little bit fishy to me. Was she right, though? She might have... into the future by throwing asparagus into the fucking air. That sounded a little bit fishy to me. Was she right, though? She might have... She predicted it. She predicted that they were going to break up from the royal family.

There you go. Well, I'm trying to get that fucking video, man. You're not very good with the working... Fuck off. Where'd you look up? Did you see Skip Ad for...

What did you... What did you... What did you... Scuba driving, flooded car, liquor store... That's too much, too many things. That's what it is, it's here, this is it. Okay, well, show me. How's the video? It's not good so far, man.

Let's see. Oh, there's dude right there. I wonder if you could predict the future by throwing, like, pepperoni up in the air. Little coins, pepperoni coins. Do it, Ricky. You should... That's what we're gonna do next week. I want you to predict...

Make some predictions using pepperoni flakes. Only? Whatever you think is gonna let you see into the future, we'll get it. You can throw it up and then predict, make some predictions. All right. I might have to write some things on the coin, so. Like what? I got a number seven on one of them.

Okay. So you need a pepperoni with a number seven on it. Yeah. What else? A star. A star. Okay, I should write this down because I'm going to do this. A marker.

Pepperoni with a seven and a star. And any other symbols? A knife. Yes, we'll have a knife. You have a knife already. Do you want hot pepperoni or mild? Honey garlic. Honey garlic.

Honey garlic. Honey garlic, brother's pepperoni, and a sharpie and a knife, and he's going to predict the future. I don't know what the whole future, but maybe like next week or something. He can make some predictions. Okay, anything, man. Anything. If you predict anything, like realistic, that works, I'll eat a cat turd.

Jesus Christ. I'll eat a cat turd. Jesus Christ. I'll eat a cat turd if you can see into the future. All right. It's a weird thing to offer up. Next time somebody gives you a chocolate chip cookie, be leery. Why? Because this fucking broad took a bunch of cookies, gave them to her classmates, and they all ate them,

and then she's like my grandfather's ashes were in those cookies. Oh, you fuck. No way. Dirty trick. Are you kidding me? No. Dirty trick. That's a dirty fucking trick. Oh, Jesus Murphy, did you see the video

of that crazy bitch dressed up like a cat and she eats a fucking mouse? Yeah. Jesus Christ. what are you talking about? She takes a mouse, poor little mouse, and she puts him in her mouth, and she's got cat stuff drawn on her, and she's showing him, and he's peeking out, and then she just goes, swallows him. Yeah.

A lie. Is it real? Yes, it's real. She had the mouse in her mouth for a while, man. Yes. Way too long. And she's like chewing on his head a little bit, and he's chirping, and he's right cute, and then she just fucking swallows him. Yes. Way too long. And she's like chewing on his head a little bit and he's chirping and he's right cute

and then she just fucking swallows him. Big smile on her face. Somebody needs to fucking figure out who she is and Jesus Murphy, I was pissed off. You don't eat mice. I'd have a sword fight with her. Don't eat mice alive.

You were talking about a dentist that fucking hoverboarded. Oh, yeah, there was a dentist that pulled a tooth while he was on a hoverboard, and he got charged with 46 counts of stuff. 46? What the fuck? Like, what are the 46 charges? I don't know, but 46 charges.

He was standing on a hoverboard when he took out this person's tooth, and then he placed it down and he zoomed away and went like this. But I mean, he wasn't all over the place. It wasn't like he was fucking wobbling and unstable. He's perfectly stable and he takes the tooth out and then he zooms away. I don't know what the... Unless it was on like meth or something or crack. It didn't look like it. He's a dentist. He's not gassed up, I don't think.

But anyway, 46 things he's charged with. I've He's not gassed up, I don't think. But anyway, 46 things he's charged with. I've never been charged with that many, I don't think. Not at once. 30-something, but never 40. That's fucked. That's a lot. I'm pissed off about this mouse now. I forgot about that. You know what? I bet he was okay. No, he wasn't. He was dead.

How do you know? She probably threw him back up and then he was fine. I don't think so. She probably just for show. Ricky, he's in her stomach. He's coated in stomach acid and he died a horrible death. He needs a bath. Alright, the guy's in the car diving. Whoopty fuck. Here we go. Look at us go, guys. Look at the water coming out of there. Those guys are fucked.

Yeah, those guys are a bit fucked. Alright, let's dive. Those guys are fucked. Yeah, those guys are a bit fucked. Okay, so next week, Ricky's gonna tell the future. What's your name gonna be? Your like, mysterious future name. That's not something you come up with on the spot, man. Great Ricardo. It's not bad. It's not bad.

Great Ricardo, next week on Perk After Dark.