Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 44 - Happy And Dumb

Episode Date: March 25, 2024

Welcome to Park After Darrr.... ah, f**k it! Do the Boys need some cobra venom to keep 'em happy and high? They discuss Bubbles' new life as a penguin, The Shat's borntday, and a very hunky kitty. Plus: The latest entries to Julian's SuperFlex contest!

To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the SwearNet Trailer Park Boys app. Fuck off. You think you could land a fucking jumbo jet? Not a chance. Buffs, I played the fucking, that game we played. What is it called? The simulator thing.

Yeah. I could fucking land it, man. We went up in the fucking F-18s or F-16s. What are those, jets? You don't even know what fucking fighter jet you were in. All right, we were in fighter jets. We did the ground school thing. I can't get to the point of 747. I'm just saying I destroyed the commander

on the fucking simulator. I can do a jet fighter. It's a lot different, a 747. He thinks he's Buck Jaeger. I don't, man. I'm too tired for this shit today. I'm fucked up, all right? No, I'm just saying, don't make fucking statements you can't back up.

You ever shoot one of these at a year's? No, did you? No, I saw a stripper do it once. You make fucking statements you can't back up. You ever shoot one of these at a year's? No, did you? No, I saw a stripper do it once. That was pretty cool. That one? No. Wow.

Hope not. How you guys doing? This is going. Yeah, you got to say your things. Welcome to Perk After Dark? Yeah Yeah, see I can't function today. Not doing it. Can't say the word dark. Oh man, no sleep for the last two nights.

Don't know what it is. But I'm on edibles. They're starting to kick in. Maybe I'll feel a little bit better. Here, eat this. It'll wake you right up. Fucking bull. What is it? It's a bull cow or bull up. Fucking a bull. What is it? It's a bull cow or bull whatever.

Stuffed bull. OK. You're going to have to take over this one, you two. I'll just join in every now and then. OK. All right, who's running it? You are, Ricky. What are you two?

I don't know. You better get fucking excited. Why? Because do you know what came in this week? Nope. You too. I don't know. You better get fucking excited. What? Because do you know what came in this week? Nope. Julian Superflex contest submissions. Oh, fuck. You... What?

How fucked are they? They're fantastic. They're fantastic. Remember when I started the contest? I barely guess. I didn't think it was going to happen. People actually made... People took that serious? It barely guess. I didn't think it was gonna happen. People actually made- People took that serious?

It is serious. It's not fucking serious. It was a joke, I thought. No, it was Julian and I just came up with it on the spot and now it's a contest. Super flex. Super flex. Bub, that's the stupidest fucking thing ever, man.

Yep. Oh, you think so, do you? Here, tell me this is stupid. Watch this. She's loading up here. So these are real fucking... This is a... You know the song I played. Julian is ripping up his shirt with his muscles

so he can do a super flex. Listen to this. Made it into a real song. Ready to get it. Connection. Master Salon, yeah. Do it out here. Oh my fuck, Bugs. All right.

Look at the video, man. Oh, Jesus Christ. Look at the abs on you there. You wish. You wish. You wish you had those. Can you Photoshop me into that? Yes. Let me see.

Oh, it's just crazy. It's the most fucked up thing I've ever seen in my life. You know what? And that's not even, how can you call that a song, Bugs? Listen. Ripping shirt off, ripping shirt off. It's a remix. It sounds like shit, man. No, it doesn't. Ripping shirt off. It's a remix. It sounds like shit, man.

No, it doesn't. Yes, it does. Do you know how much work went into that? Well, it looks like a lot of work was put into it. It doesn't make it any better, man. Muscles. You sampled it. Muscles.

You started selling muscle cleaners. If I could make money money I would do it. Alright. Super bad. How much drugs was that guy on? A lot. That's a lot of drugs. What kind of drugs? Bath salts? I think he was, I don't know.

So okay, you don't like that one, there's another one. There's more? That one was Holly and Danny. I'm not gonna like any of them, bubs. I'm gonna be straight up. Holly and Danny did that one. This is Chris Oliver. Let's see this one. There's no video for this one. It's just audio. Super tax, super flex. Oh, he changed the melody. Superflex, Superflex.

Oh, he changed the melody. You know what, that doesn't sound that bad. But it's just the lyrics bad. Superflex. That's not bad. That's good. Sounds like ween. That sounds all right, that sounds like ween.

Sort of a ween part there. And it sounds a little bit like early Pink Floyd. Astronomy don't mind. That's not bad. Big, big, my pictures. All right. Taste the lyrics. Larry's up.

You might go somewhere with that, too. What else you got? Superflex. That one's Chris Oliver. That one's pretty good. That's a nice job. And then I don't know who this one is, but it's just... You're wasting like a talent here, dude. Superflex.

Come on. Superflex remix. Here's another one. Who's this? He's ripping his shirt off with his muscles and he's doing a super flex. Super flex. So you got to catch it. His shirt off with his muscles and he's doing a super flex.

You got to be fucked up to enjoy it though, I think. Super flex. I don't need these edibles to kick in. Yeah, no. It sounded sounding better but a second. Let's go. Buzzman. Listen to the voice. Now listen.

Now we think. Whoa. I don't know. I don't know. What the fuck do I know? Has anybody seen his new show yet? No, I know. He's shirt off with his muscles and doing a suit. All right, bubs. Did you- Okay, so you know what? I don't think- I don't think- I don't think-

I don't think- I don't think- I don't think- I don't think- I don't think- I don't think- I don't think- I don't think-

I don't think- I don't think- I don't think- I don't think- I don't think- He's wearing a black shirt off with his muscles and doing big knots in the fur flat. All right, bubs. Okay, so you know what? I don't think, I can't pick a clear winner. I think we need to leave the contest open for another week. But let's just fucking end it. We need more submissions. No, let's just end it right now.

No. Fuck it. I don't know how you pick a winner out of those three. I would tie it up. All three-way tie. The Julian, the official Julian Megaflex Superflex contest is still open. It's a three-way tie. It's a three-way tie at the moment.

You're getting a three-way with Julian. I'd like to get six or 700 more entries. Six? There's no fucking way we're listening to six or 700. Did you see Noel's new show yet? Oh, man. Yes. I figured you might have. What's the verdict? Oh, man. Yes. I figured you might have.

What's the verdict? Oh, it's fantastic. Is it good? The completely made-up adventures of Dick Turpin. Yeah. Yes, I only saw one episode, but it looks pretty good so far. Excusez-moi. All right, I'll check it out.

Superflex is open. One more week. Ugh. I... All right, have fun listening to the fucking... All that shit that people are sending in. I'm not... I will.

I enjoy people sending in remixes of Julian's. So this is a bit odd. This YouTuber, I don't know if you've heard about him, was arrested for supplying snakes and snake venom to be used as recreational drugs at raves. What? I didn't know you could use fucking snake venom as a recreational drug. I'm fucking very curious now.

You're not fucking getting into snake venom. Yeah, it's poison. So what does it do to you? You get all fucked up. That's why people lick the toads and stuff. But I thought getting bit by a snake could be deadly. No, but you just control the amount. You don't take, like, a full dose of, like...

No, you don't take, like, as if he bit you. I'm getting into fucking cobras, boy. You're not, man. No. If I come in here and you've got a fucking cage of cobras, I'm not hanging out with you anymore, man. You can't put them in a cage. What's a cage in Cobra?

Oh, God. What did I just say? You said a cage of cobras. Oh, yeah, a cage of cobras. Jesus, man. You can't put them in a cage. They just sliver right through the thing. You know what I mean. They're like a fucking plexiglass. Did I say sliver?

What is wrong with us today? That's a good one. That sounds like you. What did we take? I don't know, man. Dumb juice. Well, edibles are fucking dumb fucking things, man. They fucking make you really dumb. Make you happy, though. They make you happy.

Happy dumb dumb. They make you shit yourself, too, if you do too many of them. Let's get a shirt that says happy and dumb. Happy and dumb. You're dumb but happy? I don't know. Dr. Einstein. Here's a story for you guys.

This guy's got to be the stupidest motherfucker. No snakes? No snakes. You're not going to know what it feels like. No, man. It's a drug I've never done. Do you want snakes? Snakes would love your cats, man.

They would be like little fucking potato chips. No, snakes. Snakes and cats get along great. Bullshit. No, they don't. No, maybe I'm thinking of something else. They're fucking... man. They would be like little fucking potato chips. No, snakes. Snakes and cats get along great. Bullshit. No, they don't. No, maybe I'm thinking of something else. Snakes hate cats. They like toy snakes.

You know, stuffy snakes. Speaking of snakes, I was watching this weird show. This fucking dude was taking a dump in somewhere. Someone's mouth? No, just sitting on his toilet. A 13-foot fucking python comes up and latches right on to his fucking cock and balls. That's fucking happening quite a bit, man. It was fucking awful.

He had to strangle the cocksucker, get him to let go of his nuts. Was this Australia? No, it was awful. Jesus. You want to live in a fucking trailer of cobras. It was fucked. He almost bled out. I didn't know a python could bite you like that.

Pythons can bite you, Ricky. They just wrap their shit around you. No, that's a ball constrictor. Oh. Pythons can bite. They got a fucking mouth book that big. They can unlock their cocksucker. What a sick show.

And they get her yapped right open. Somehow they saved the snake, saved Buddy. Nobody died, but it was a weird... What happened to his nuts? I didn't really see a picture of it, but it couldn't have been great. But he didn't bite them off, did he? No, but it must have been bad. He almost bled out.

You know what? It took him almost an hour to strangle the fucking snake with a rope to get them to let go. So he hit the snake in his fucking teeth right in his nuts. No, no, no, no, no, no. You know what? And they did the same. I'm telling you, if a snake did that to me, I'd have a fucking ax out. I'd be hacking that cocksucker.

But you'd be in so much pain, you wouldn't be able to go get an ax. I'd be hacking it. I'd be like fucking. So how do you get at that angle? I'd be hacking like half his body off. And then I'd be like, I don't know, man. I can't even think about that right now. What?

I mean, you could miss and hack your fucking wiener right off. And then it's your fault. Yeah, that's true. Insurance won't cover it if you cut your own wiener off with a hatchet. You know what? I'm not getting snakes. I just need to buy some venom. Yeah, that's a better idea, Ricky.

That's a better idea. Is that something you can order on Amazon, I wonder? Oh, yeah. Hallucinogenic snake venom, look it up. Very easy to get, Ricky. See, this is untapped market here. We should be raising snakes. Cobra kings, cobra park boys.

Cobra park boys. Yeah, that's all I need. Did you actually just look that up on Amazon? No, man, I had a text come in. Just checking it out. Who's the lucky fella? It was the lucky lady. My bad.

I'm fucking tired, though, man. I can't, like, I can't do anything tonight. I'm done. Why? It's just been up drinking, man. I can't sleep, so I just keep drinking and drinking. By up drinking, do you mean up yanking? No, drinking, man. Like, a lot.

I've been drunk for three or four days. It's been a while. It was my birthday two days ago. I'm still fucking hungover. It was your birthday, man. Fuck me up. You fucked everybody up. Well, it was a good birthday, and I'm drunk too, but I'm still functional.

Yeah, me too. So fuck you. Must have some kind of bug or something, boys. Wake up. I'm trying to. Why do they say that when you get a bug? It's a bug, man. It's a flu bug when you get a bug? It's a bug, man. It's a flu bug.

It's a virus. It's a bug that can actually crawl on the tip of your cock and make you sick. It's a little microscopic motherfucker that fucks you, man. See, that's what I don't need right now. Holy fuck. Where did that come from? More fucking bugs coming at me. You were talking about bugs crawling in you and my nose got itchy.

Just, I think it was all in my head. This fucking dude in Wisconsin got arrested for domestic horse shit. Punched his daughter in the shoulder and then threatened the both with a BB gun, her and her boyfriend. His legal name is Deez Nuts. Deez Nuts.

Deez Nuts. Why would you change your name to that? Is he a rapper? His real name is Deez Nuts. Deez Nuts. Deez Nuts. Why would you change your name to that? Is he a rapper? No. Sounds like a good rap handle, Deez Nuts. No, he just wanted that name. He just, Deez Nuts, he's, well he's fucked in the head. Well Deez Nuts went around for forever.

People were saying Deez Nuts, like tricking people into you know, hey do you wanna buy a car? Yeah, can I see, yeah, Deez Nuts, like tricking people into, you know, Hey, do you want to buy a car? Yeah, can I see? Yeah, Deez Nuts. I don't get it. Tricks. I don't get it, man. I don't either. It was a pretty popular expression for a while, but I don't really understand it.

I don't either, man. I miss that whole fucking era. It was kind of like Bam. Remember? Bam! Yeah. It was kind of not a great name to have if you're going to get arrested and shit, probably. Well, I guarantee you the reason he did it

is when the cop says, what's your name? Dee's nuts! Yeah. But he could say it without getting in trouble because then he just shows them his ID. Well, he sounds pretty dumb, so he probably got in trouble anyway.

You know what I mean? Probably. How did that work at the passport office and shit, I wonder? Deez Nuts. He just likes telling people, he just likes saying Deez Nuts to people so much, he changed his name.

It'd be like changing your name to Blow Me. Yeah, see, I bet you that guy's the most annoying motherfucker on the planet. He's gotta be. He probably just tells everybody, my name's Deez Nuts. You're uprooted to ya.

Alright, nice, bud. Right on. Good, man, you're cool. Change your name to Blow Me. That guy can fuck off. Hey, imagine if my name was Blow Me

and I'm just meeting you for the first time. Hey, bud, what's your name? Blow Me. No, that's my name. Oh, so he's in with me. You guys really fucked up. So I mean, that guy thought he was cool.

He's in jail now. So he's in jail saying, hey, what's your name? Deez Nuts, Shank. Yeah? That guy's gonna get shanked. He can probably say, well, my former name was Terrence, right? He thinks he's cool with Deez Nuts, man.

He's telling everybody. I'm the convict formerly known as... These nuts. These nuts. There's another twisted fuck. This guy in Oregon claimed his mom was a vampire, so he had to kill her. Shoved a wooden stake right through her throat. Jesus.

He missed the spot, man. It's supposed to be through the heart. Then he called police and said he killed his mother by accident. Whoa. With a wooden stake. I don't know why I'm laughing. It's fucking twisted shit. It's fucked, man.

He must have been on drugs. I always suspect that he probably was not sober, but I don't know. Yeah. What are the chances? Put a wooden stake through your mother's throat? Yeah, but what are the chances his mother was fucking bat shit crazy? She must have been. You know what I mean?

He said he woke up on more than one occasion. She was biting his neck and there was blood all over. See, she was a crazy mother. Was that true? Maybe she was a fucking vampire. She was, man. Maybe he hallucinated the whole thing. She was a lovely lady.

She might have been lovely baking pies for people. Oh, I'm sure they're going to be fucking missed. Blood pies. Weirdos. Blood pudding. Do vampires like blood pudding?

Probably, man. It's got blood in it. A human, though. It's just animal blood. Cow blood. I think they like... Blood pudding. No, no, no.

Vampires like cow blood? Yeah, in the movies they seem like they're fucking just on a cow. Cow blood. I think they like... Blood pudding. No, no, no. Vampires like cow blood? Yeah, in the movies they seem like they're fucking just on a cow. I thought that was vampire bats. Same thing, I guess. Well, they're temporarily bats, Ricky. Any vampire could turn into a bat if he wants to. Fuck, that'd be so cool.

That would be pretty cool. I don't know, man. I don't know if I want to be hanging upside down all the time trying to sleep. Here's a fucked up story. There's a guy. I think it's more about the flying. Yeah. Well, check this guy out, man.

Bats are pretty shitty flyers, though. No, they're not. It's just a slow flap. They've got a weird flying thing. They don't. Bats don't have a slow flap, Ricky. They flap faster than anything. They're not like a hummingbird.

They've got incredible fucking... Hummingbat. They can fucking navigate better than anything. They're not like a hummingbird. They've got incredible fucking... Humming bat. They can fucking navigate better than anything. They don't go like that, they go... You know what I mean? No they don't. Yeah they do, man. Bat wings!

Yeah. They don't just extend. How the fuck are you gonna get any lift? They do, man. Get no lift that way. I spent a lot of time watching bats. I got attacked by a bat. So did I. They flap. You didn't get a... Bats don't attack you, man. No less. I spent a lot of time watching bats. I got attacked by a bat. So did I.

You didn't get a... Bats don't attack you, Ricky. They do, man. Well, he came at me. No, he was echolocating. I had a lightsaber when I was a little fella, and they used to come after the light, and they would sometimes get you in the head.

You're sticky as fuck. No, that's a myth. They did it. They use echolocation. They're not going to fucking... They did it, man. I'm telling you. I had a bat on my back. So you fucked No, that's a myth. They did it. They use echolocation. They're not going to fucking. They did it, man. I'm telling you. I had a bat on my back.

So he fucked up, I guess. Yeah, so explain that one. He was caught in my drapes. I used a golf club. Tried to whack him. And he fucking got on my back. And then I whacked myself for the golf club a couple times.

It was a shit show. What do you think of that? He had a slow flap. He was sliding around the living room like flap. Explain that. Oh, he must have been hurt. Not hurt enough. They don't fucking flap. They just don't take slow flap. Yeah, exactly. He was flying around the living room like flap. Explain that. Oh, he must have been hurt. Not hurt enough. They don't fucking flap like that.

They just don't take a flap like that. No, no. That's what I'm saying. That's like, ugh. They go, I got to. They're not a cute animal either. They're gorgeous. They're fucking ugly.

Adorable. Adorable little things. All right. It's just a mouse with wings. Get a pet bat then. Do it. I'll get a pet bat then. Do it. I'll get a pet bat. You fucking watch me.

Harold his name will be. You know what? What? I'm not a big cat person, Bubz, but did you see this motherfucker? This is a Russian kitty.

Oh, I know what kitty you're going to pull up. What the fuck does that mean? Fuck off, Ed. He's a hunk. Does he speak Russian? No, he's a hunk. Check he speak Russian? He's a hunk.

Check this guy out, man. I gotta say, he's a cute looking little fucking... That's a nice looking kitty. Check this guy out. He could be on Venice Beach in a muscle shirt. Look at that guy. Looks like a fucking cartoon, man. Let me see.

Oh, he's gorgeous. He's a hunk. Look at that guy. I don't know, man. Here, let me... I gotta get a good look at him. I thought you'd like him, man. Oh, yeah, no, he's hunk. He's a hunk. Look at that guy. I don't know, man. Here, let me, I gotta get a good look at him. He's, I thought you'd like him, man. Oh, yeah, no, he's hunk. He's a hunk.

I guess eyes are pretty close together. It kind of looks like, I don't know, it looks fucked. You guys want to fucking shift gears, completely change our lives? Yeah, man. It's three of us, one, two, three. And you're looking for three staff to run the Antarctic Penguin Post Office. Let's fucking do it. Oh, my God.

They get 80,000 letters a year, which is kind of surprising. And you know what? Guess who gets to open them first? We do. Let's do it. No running water, but the ship comes there once a week and you can shower on the ship. Okay. You got to look after the tourists, 18,000 tourists a year, which is quite a few.

Perfect, perfect. Other than that, it sounds pretty fucking easy. Sounds like we can make a lot of money. Can you imagine 18,000 tourists? Tell me if you said, give me 20 bucks, they're going to say no. All right, fuck off. I'm running. I'm going to stay out here in the fucking glaciers.

You have to figure out a way to grow. You're going to have to store $20. Totally. On everybody. Yep. Just stay warm. Plus, you get to open up their mail, because even if they did get a package that was open, you'd be like, don't ask me, man.

It's fucking all kinds of... Who was sending mail? Go through to get it here. I'm assuming people. Yeah, man. No, but who were they sending it to? Other people. I don't know, man.

How much mail comes in? 80,000 letters a year. There's not 80,000 people living down there, Ricky. No, I know. It doesn't make sense to me either. It does not. Oh, maybe they're writing letters to the penguins. It probably is.

Kids write letters to penguins. Then the penguins probably write them back. No, no. Maybe the job is to reply as a penguin. You know what? To the kids, like as if you're Santa. If I'm high enough, I'd be writing the best penguin letters ever. We could start a penguin charity, man. Think about it. People love penguins. Thank you for your letter. Yeah, I'm cold as fuck.

How much do you get paid to do that? I would love you to write penguin letters, Ricky. I just put on a wing, a wing over my arm, and just sign it. That would be awesome, man. See, we're onto something here. Maybe we could charge money for the replies. That's what I'm saying, man. Like a charity to help the penguins out.

Well. Who's going to know where the money goes, man? We're not fucking penguins.'t gonna keep track of it. They're smarter animals than you think, boys. Well, they're not gonna know whether we're fucking... I wouldn't put it past them. ...scamming people to help them, man. Wouldn't put it past them next thing you know they're online telling everyone we're fucked.

How would, like, Ricky know, man? It's possible. The pit pups, penguins aren't gonna go online, man. They could. Come on, man. Penguin Wi-Fi. The pit pups. Why? Penguins aren't going to go online, man. They could. Come on, man. Penguin Wi-Fi. Penguin Wi-Fi. Oh, there's a penguin.

I just saw him in China. Yeah. He lives in a house with these people. Mm-hmm. And they send him to the fish market. He walks all the fucking way to the end of town, and he wears a little penguin backpack. Yeah. And they put the money in, and he walks down through the town

and everybody just fucking waves to him. He walks right up to the fish market. She jams one in his fucking mouth as a treat and then she takes the money and puts a big fish in the backpack and he takes her home. That's amazing.

He's a celebrity. Is her last name Popper? No, it's not that movie, Ricky. This is real. You know what we used to do, man? I was just thinking, you could become a celebrity, man, easily. Who? Him.

You put a penguin costume on you, you move into a small town without even fucking... You're in a penguin costume, and you walk the town every day with a little backpack. Ask him for money. Why would he be a celebrity? Because people would love him, man. They'd be like, what is up with this dude dressed up as a penguin?

You could do it just as easy. He couldn't be dressed up. He'd have to become a penguin. Well, that's what I mean. He thinks he's a penguin. Might be a good movie. A movie? Hmm. Oh, I thought you meant to do it for real. Well, no, do it for real.

But then release it as a movie. A documentary? I'd watch it, yeah. Penguin guy. Yeah. Why can't you be the penguin guy? I just don't get the penguin moves like you. The way you just did it, that's boom.

That's what I thought of. What did I do? You just, like, walked to the fucking, yeah, like that. Walked to the market. That's how they walk. See, look. Yeah, you got a pretty good waddle. Can you imagine?

If you dressed up, you would, Bubbs, people would love you, man. As a penguin? Yeah. Oh, I'd give it a try. Let's go to like a small place like New Germany or something. New Germany? Where the fuck is that? Yeah, it's like Lunenburg.

Down the South Shore. Go to Lunenburg. It'd be a penguin. Yeah. Frick people up. I'd give it a try. All right. The soup was nice. I'll be your manager. And if the soup wasn't too warm. No, I'd give it a try. All right.

The soup was nice. I'll be your manager. The soup wasn't too warm. We'll figure it out. I won't be able to act as a penguin if I'm overheating. I'd have to be cool. We'll figure that out. I'd have to be kept cool.

Let's see if anybody got burnt that was in Arrested and Merced at 22. Ooh. The Shat. Oh, the Shat. The Shat. The Shat. Oh, the Shat. The Shat. Shatner. Oh, the Shat. William the Shat, Shatner. You've met him a few times, nice guy.

Born in Montreal, Quebec. Yeah, we did meet the Shat. We met the Shat. The Shat went to space, lucky. Did we go to a picture with the Shat? I think so. He also yelled at one of us, waking him up. Yeah. No, that wasn of us, waking him up.

Yeah. No, that wasn't us that woke him up. Somebody was with us. Yes. The weck. The weck. Oh, yeah. The weck woke the shot.

The weck woke the shot. What did he say again? Holy fuck, that was funny. He said, did you really just wake me up to get an autograph? Yep. Well, he was in wax defense. He was holding his phone like this with his head down. It did look like he was looking at his phone.

And he had sunglasses on, so nobody knew he was sleeping. Andrew Lloyd Webber. Don't cry for me, Mona Lisa. What the fuck is that song? I don't know. Keep it going man, I gotta, keep it going until we know what it is. Keep singing. Don't cry Mona Lisa, what? I don't, is that him?

Yeah! Keep it going man. I don't know much more. Bubs? I don't think it's, actually you know what, it's not Mona Lisa, it's something else, it's country. Good fucking chips. There's a tear in my beard and I'm crying for you dear. Matthew Modine. Matthew Modine.

You know what? We're fucking watching tonight. What? Full Metal Cockside. Full Metal. Haven't seen that in a long time. That's a good movie, man. Full Metal's good. He was great't seen that in a long time. That's a good movie, man. Full Metal's good.

He was great in Memphis Belle, too. Julian. Fantastic fucking. Whose birthday is it? Elvis Stoico. Oh. Your favorite figure skater of all time. Like, no.

No, no, no. I'm not happy it's his birthday. I'm glad he's still alive. Are you going to try to tell us you didn't have all the stoico pictures on your wall? I did not, man. The stoic, as you used to call them? The stoic. No, no, no, no.

Remember when you inhaled the Lloyd shit fumes? Yep. You had the stork. You used to wear the tight pants like the stork. I didn't. I did not.

No, bubs. And you had figure skates that you wore on the pond. I did not have figure skates. You had the black figure skates with the spike on the top. Oh, yeah. No, don't go,

oh, yeah. With the flames. Yes. And the flames. The flames painted on the side of the figure skates. Jesus Christ. You were fast. The tight black pants on the side of the figure skates. Jesus Christ. You were fast.

The tight black pants with the pants tucked into the skates. The belt with the big buckle. And the white shirt with the fluffy sleeves. I'm too hard. You used to walk in the pond. You could do a triple sow cow. You were all, remember, you were bragging. A triple sow cow.

Yeah. What the fuck is that? That's a move. How would I know that if you didn't used to say bragging. A triple sow cow. Yeah. What the fuck is that? That's a move. How would I know that if you didn't used to say I can do a triple sow cow? I think it was you that used to wear the figure skates, bud. Nope, triple sow cow. Reese Witherspoon. There.

There we go. I've got to react. We were on the same page. What is a Witherspoon? And James T. Kirk, 2233 is his birth date. Well, that's the shot. Oh, yeah. That's the shot.

So they used James T. Kirk's birthday the same as the shots. He used his real birthday. That's how he could remember when... On this day, All Shook Up came out. All shook up. Oh, yeah, yeah. All shook up. The Beatles released Please, Please Me. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, sugar. The Beatles released Please Please Me.

Please please me, oh yeah. Like I please you. Very nice, man. Muhammad Ali KO Zora Folly. Boom. Down you go, bitch. And Brian Trottier ties NHL record scores five seconds into a game. The Trotch. The Trotch, man.

He was the Trotch. Five seconds, man. That's a fast fucking goal. Holy. That was at the start of the game? Yeah, man. Five seconds in. Goal.

So the puck was dropped at center ice and he scored in five seconds? Yep. I think I watched that game. That's fucked up. Who did he score on? Do you know who they were playing? It just said 1984. It doesn't say who.

We can find out, though. I want to find out. Who did Brian Trottier score a five-second goal on? No, that says Brian Tracy, for fuck's sake. God damn it. Trot, G.A. The trots. Trot, G.A.

How's it working, man? For you. Here it is. Five-second goal by Brian Trot, G.A. Philadelphia. Who? Austin. Austin.

Jerry Jeevers, then. He's a skiller than Jerry Jeevers. Here goes the crotch. Here goes the crotch. Here goes the crotch. Here goes the crotch. Here goes the crotch. Here goes the crotch. Here goes the crotch. Here goes the crotch. Here goes the crotch. Here goes the crotch. Here goes the crotch.

Here goes the crotch. Here goes the crotch. Here's the puck drop. Here goes the trotch. Holy fuck. He's out. Boom. Yeah. That's fucking insane.

Fuck you. Holy fuck trotch. Tip tip slap shot. Wow. All right. I've said it once, I'll say it again. Don't fuck with the Tronch. Don't fuck with the Tronch. On that, we gotta leave.

Time to go. We gotta leave? Liquor store. Okay, let's go. We're getting her going. It's still my birthday, I guess. It is your birthday. Fuck it.

Let's do it. Right on. Thanks, everybody. Cheers. Yeah. To see the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer. Go to SwearNet.com or download the

Trailer Park Boys SwearNet app.