Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 44 - Ricky's Mystic Pepperoni Predictions

Episode Date: February 3, 2020

Ricky summons up the power of pepperoni and looks into the future - will you be getting a new car, or f**ked up in an earthquake? Bubbles designs the new Space Force uniform, Julian investigates Samsquamptches, and we find out why Ricky dipped his ballsack in soy sauce!

So what's the deal on this big important fucking meeting you want to have with us? I know what it is. What is it? What are you talking about? I didn't call you. I just thought we were doing this fucking perk after dark and waited till the dark was gone. You want to meet and that's what it's about? The fucking pepperoni thing? He's got symbols drawn on there, you know what it's about. I'm just gonna try to make some fucking predictions,

that's what you guys asked me to do. All right. Pepperoni predictions is what he's gonna be doing. Yeah, don't, folks, that could've been fucking, something crazy happened right there. Why? Now we're not going to know. What?

Because I ate it. Yes. Ricky, it doesn't work that way. I can't eat predictions. You've got to throw them up in the air. Rick, from these people that I've met, like medians and fortune tellers and all those fucking people, right? Yep.

They've got, like, the power in them. Right. They were born with it. They've got the power. You want to, like, what do you have? Ray, you've got, Ray had secret powers as well with pepperoni? I had a dream one time that taught me how to do all this shit. I just don't have time to do it usually.

Okay, so welcome to Park After Dark. If you're just tuning in, Ricky's going to tell the future with pepperoni. Not the whole fucking future. Just try to come up with a couple things for this year. Well, Ricky, I ate a... Bob's fucking Jesus! I ate a new car. That could have been somebody getting a new car. We'll never know.

Nope. We'll never know. Maybe about four hours from now we will. What do you mean by that? Hmm. Shake up the little predictor meats. Predictor meats. Predictor meats. Predictor meats.

Here we go. This is exciting. You guys ready to find out what the fuck might happen this year? Yes, Ricky. Okay. What the fuck? Do you just leave them now or how do you read them? Yeah, don't touch them.

This one's gotta go up again. It doesn't even have anything on it. That's not good. I can tell you right now. That means some bad fucking shit's gonna happen. This happens a third time? Don't leave the house for a while. I'm telling you right fucking now,

we're in trouble this year. Pepperoni falls off the table three times. Three fucking times in a row? But Ricky, look at all the pieces that didn't bounce off the table. Okay, so we got... Oh, yeah. Holy fuck. Okay.

And those are stacked. Sun. Yeah, see this area right here? That's fucked. All right. Ricky, don't tell me this. So what does it mean? We got a seven.

We got a seven. There's some good things. This means because it's separated, the world population is going to fucking go from like seven billion to maybe eight billion this year. Well, yeah, it is because people are fucking. Not because your pepperoni flipped over the right way. But because of this and because of what happened there,

something fucking serious is going to happen. You know what I think it is? There's going to be a major, major fucking earthquake this year. Well, there's one every year pretty much. This one's going to be a fucking doozy. The big one. It's going to be bad. Where's it going to hit?

In a big city. In a big city. Well, that's not good. It's going to affect a lot of fucking people. It's going to be sad. You guys should know I made me do this. Now I'm going to fucking... See, Ricky, you're just like all the other charlatans that do this.

Oh, something bad's going to happen in a big city and it's going to affect a lot of people. Well, yeah, no shit. The only good thing that's going to come out of it, because the sun landed on top of the stack, solar power. Solar power is going to come out of it, because the sun landed on top of the stack, it's going to happen on a sunny day. Solar power is going to be huge now. It's going to actually start making more sense to fucking use solar power than regular power

from the fucking cocksucking, money-stealing, fucking monopoly power companies. Yeah, but they're already using solar power, like, all over the world, man. Ooh, solar power's going to become more popular. Yeah, no shit. That's what that's telling me right there. power's gonna become more popular. Yeah, no shit. That's what that's telling me right there. That's what that's fucking telling me. No shit. I could have predicted that. We don't live near an earthquake-y thing, do we?

We don't know, Ricky, maybe. There could be a hairline crack. Well, anywhere that has a lot of them, I'd fucking stay away. You know who else has a hairline crack? Who? Your mother. See, it else has a hairline crack? Who? Your mother. See, it's not a hairline crack. It's a goddamn gaping trench.

You've got a gorge. What's up with this one? That's the death coin. The death-a-roni. Thankfully, that was pretty much buried. That's death-a-roni. So I don't think any of us are probably going to die. That's good. Unless we're in the earthquake.. So I don't think any of us are probably going to die.

That's good. Unless we're in the earthquake. Ricky, I don't even like you saying that. Because now if I do by accident, you're going to say, See, I told you, the pepperoni told me. Yeah, is there anything good here at all? Solar power. Okay, that gives a fuck.

Population's going up. We don't care about that. I'm just going to say, if I die this year, by accident or whatever, I want you to play this video and make sure that he does not claim that the pepperoni this I'll make sure of it protected it. I do not want my if I die I don't want that tied to fucking pepperoni for the rest of my for the rest of my whatever it's called history all right Okay, guys wouldn't made me do that.

Any other big ones, Ricky? Fortunately a lot of people are gonna fucking die now. My favorite part of this whole thing is that we get the snack on the pepperoni. It's fucking good pepperoni. That's fresh, man. Brothers Pepperoni, is that who? Yup, honey garlic. You can't get it anywhere but pretty much, I don't know, maybe just around here. What are you going to do with these ones?

Nova Scotia, but if you can get it online. You can eat those if you like. I don't want to fucking eat those, man. Here. Well, what's this one? Maybe you can get it online, can you? What is that, a T? I can't see.

That was over here, man. No, that was one that was supposed to be one of those alien Star Trek-y things, because this would have predicted space. That was over here, so what does that mean? Speaking of Star Trek. There's going to be some good space shit happening. That was over there face up? Yeah.

Oh, big space stuff happened this year, boys. It's good for you, bubs. No, no, no. It was down. It was down. Okay, then. Nothing great's going to you, bubs. No, no, no. It was down. It was down. Okay, then. Nothing great's gonna happen.

Nothing new. Ricky, new stuff is gonna happen in space this year. Trust me. Speaking of Star Trek, though, did you see the Space Force? United States has a new Space Force. Like soldiers? It's called Space Force. It's part of the military.

They're gonna, you know, be up there protecting space. The new logo came out. It looks just like Star Trek. Wow, that was really creative. It's got the same symbol with the thing coming around, and it looks pretty much just... Space Force. So what the fuck are they doing?

So if you're the guy that invented... So now there's going to be, you know, like the Air Force, Navy, Marines. What else? Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Marines, what else? Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines and Space Force. It's a new division of the military. They have weapons and shit? Who are they fighting? Are they just called astronauts? No, they're Space Force. What are the astronauts? They're gonna have to be. They're soldiered astronauts. But the other weird thing, I saw one of the uniforms and it's got the Space Force thing on it,

but it's just a camouflage suit, which doesn't make sense because you're going to stand out in space. It's a black backdrop. If you're wearing camouflage, you're not going to be camouflaged. So they should have, like, the Milky Way and shit. They should have, like, a nice, sleek, tight-fitted, black. Tight-fitted. Or you know,

when you see... Nothing like an astronaut in a tight-fitted uniform. Well, you know, if they're in their uniforms, it should be a nice... Tight, even down here

in this area. No, not tight like that, but just like, fit it nice, like not loose, baggy thing. Nice,

sleek, slender gentleman in a black suit, space suit. Well, you'd have to have stars on him and stuff to blend in. Well, you could have a little, you don't want to get it too much looking like Elton John or whatever, but.

David Bowie. Or David Bowie. I mean, maybe you do go with a full on David Bowie costume. Fuck it. Maybe you get Ace Fraley, you get the Ace Fraley shoulder pads. Look at the merch they'll sell, a ton of merch. I want to be in the Space Force.

Fuck. It's not going to happen. Don't get this fucking even in your brain. I wonder if Canada's going to get a Space Force. Not a chance. Because they wouldn't let me in the U.S. Space Force. Why wouldn't they? Well, you've got to be living there, I think.

You can't just show up and say, hey, I'm signing up for the Space Force. I mean, I would. There's other reasons why they wouldn't let you in, but... Did you know that your testicles have taste buds? No, they don't. Yeah. What? They do.

You can dip them in soy sauce, and you can fucking taste it. Taste it where? In your mouth or in your balls? They're connected to your fucking mouth. Did you try this? Yep. What did you dip your balls in? Soy sauce.

And you can taste it? You can taste something. Ricky, is that why I can fucking smell soy sauce in the trailer right now? I didn't do it recently. Did you wash them? No. It was last night.

I haven't had time to wash yet. So your balls right now are soaked in soy sauce? No, I don't know. Do you want to have a look? Does it crust or what does the soy sauce do? It would absorb into the skin. Into his nut sack. It's probably, you probably got black.

It changed the color of them for sure. It's kinda like Swedish meatballs down there then. That's what would happen. No, it's like, you know, it's like making Easter eggs. I just hope it doesn't affect, you know, the production down there. When you dip, where was it, Ricky? Where was the tray of soy sauce? Was it on the table?

It was a little bowl. Yeah, it was right here, actually. Right there. Yes. Can you show me how you did it? Just, don't pull your balls out, but just show me the maneuver that you used. You just clunked them down in there, just let them sit for a little bit. Show me.

Was this a squat or did you like do this like a teabag? Squat a little bit. It was more like this. There, see? Jesus Christ, Ricky. And then after about 15 minutes, you're like, oh yeah. 15 minutes? All right, did your fucking unit go down there as well?

It dipped in temporarily. He's got the head of his cock and his balls tasting like fucking soy sauce. No, you couldn't taste anything through the... But you could taste it in the back of your throat, right? From the balls, because I held the shaft up once it slipped in there for a second. You got soy sauce in your asshole. I think it probably drained out. It doesn't flow backwards, does it?

It must have a stopper. A stop valve yeah it doesn't have a jack valve but Jesus Ricky I'm glad I didn't walk in if I had walked in here and you had your pants down with your balls and a jar of soy sauce I probably would have called 911 I should have loved to join You can also taste it through your anus. I didn't try that yet, but I'm going to. What? Yeah. I don't know, see, I would have tried it.

I just don't know how to, how do you do it? I need something. Oh, Ricky, I'll rig you up with a turkey baster. You just pop her in there. Up she goes. You should do that right now. You're willing to do that for me? I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna apply it.

You got a turkey baster in here? If you got a turkey baster and you wanna fill it with soy sauce, I... They said what I'm tasting is the savory taste of umami. Yeah? It's amino acid and soy sauce. Umami. Can you taste other things with your bag? I haven't tried anything else.

Wasabi? I will if you want. Here, Ricky, why don't you just lay it on the pepperoni? See if you can tell the future. I want to try the anus thing and see what it tastes like. If you lay your balls on that pepperoni, I bet you I can tell the future you're gonna go to the mental hospital. Bubs, he wants to try the anus thing to see if he can taste faster through the ass than the balls. Well, I heard it doesn't take as long.

Okay, look. You get your pants down. Bend over the table. Julian will put a bottle of soy sauce in your anus. The problem is it's fucking not... Soy sauce is expensive. If I need a big bowl of it... You could use it again.

Fuck it. It's you, man. If you're eating it, fuck it. Your ass has been sitting in it for a while. But it's your ass. Oh, you're just going to put your whole ass in a big, like a mixing bowl of it. I feel weird about injecting it. I don't know.

Well, that'll still do it for you. I feel weird about injecting it, but not weird about sitting with your entire ass in a bowl of soy sauce. Well, it takes people like me to discover new things, doesn't it? Yes, you're right. You're right, man.

You're like a- You could make some money with this. Groundbreaker, Ricky. You remember how when You're like a ground breaker, Ricky. You remember how when I was younger and I couldn't talk and stuff that well? Mm-hmm. But then all of a sudden I was really good? I think I had the same sort of thing happen with

this kid. This kid was born with a brain. This kid was born with hardly any, no brain. All I heard about this fella. Yeah, and he fucking was doing good. This little guy was born without a fucking brain. His brain started growing after he got born. And that's what happened to this kid.

He was born, I think it was like 2% of his brain. That guy's got 2% of a brain. No, not now. After he was born, it kept growing. And now he's got like 80% of his brain, I think. Just like me. This dude. Yeah.

Look how happy he is. And I watched an interview with him on the TV and he seems fine. But when he was born, he didn't have a brain, just a little piece of his brain. So if you're born and you're not doing great, there's hope for you. Your brain might just get growed slower

than other people's gets growed. So I think that happened to you, dude. Yeah. You probably only were born with. That's why I got so smart. Yeah, but I don't know how much of it grew. Well, the thing is, he didn't scan your brain back then. They do now, probably, but... Oh, yeah, it shows up now.

If you don't have it, it shows right up. Back then, they probably didn't even do shit like that. So it is possible. Yeah, he was born, and the doctor said, well, sorry, but, you know, he doesn't have a brain. He's going to be fucked, and then... It is possible Yeah he was born And the doctor said Well sorry But you know He doesn't have a brain He's gonna be fucked

And then Beep Grow one Oh fuck How come the death coin Is on it's own now What It touches

See that's bad What happened The death coin's Sitting on it's own now You guys shouldn't Fuck with the fucking Predictor coins Ricky it's a fucking

Did you move the death coin? I didn't touch the fucking death coin. Guess what? Now a lot of people are going to die. There's something fucking weird. Okay, what about that? It's been changed. What does that mean? Julian changed the future. I don't know what that means.

You know what it's probably from? It's probably from that fucking dumb virus they named after a beer. Coronavirus. Why would they do that? It wasn they named after a beer. Corona virus. Corona, yeah. Let's just do that. It wasn't named after the beer. How about Alexander Key's virus? It wasn't named after the beer.

Sapporo fucking virus. When you look at it under a microscope, it looks like a corona, like a... What the fuck is Randy doing out there? Randy called the city and they're out there fucking hauling up sewer pipes or something. Fucking idiot. I just don't know why you'd name it after a beer. Beer's a fun, lovely thing. I'm having a beer right now. Look at that. This shit called the cocksucker virus. Something bad.

Okay, Randy. Seriously, Randy? Fuck off! The son of a whore virus. Well, it's a virus. The son of a whore virus. Well, it's a virus. You got to just stay away from people. Wash your hands.

Don't fucking, you know, touch your eyes, your nose, your mouth. You'll be okay. A lot of people apparently are dying from this virus. No shit, bubs. You just got to fucking stay away from... Don't be nice to people. Don't talk to people. It started by the band? What?

Wu-Tang Clan? No, Ricky, it was the city in China, Wuhan or whatever. It had nothing to do with the Wu-Tang Clan. This is how fake news stories start. Big time. He thinks it's named after a beer and the Wu-Tang Clan started it. Anyway, they're going to figure it out. They need to fucking rename it.

They're building hospitals over there in like fucking five days, okay? How is that possible? It takes fucking years here. They can build a hospital in five fucking days? Are they that much better and smarter than us? Do you know where I was reading? I think this is true. I don't want to spread rumors, but I think I saw a story that the coronavirus might have came from in that city.

There was a place selling fucking bat soup. Bat soup? Yeah, a whole bat in that fucking soup and people were eating the bat soup. They eat some weird things, don't they? Oh, no, there's some bat soup, man. Look up bat soup.atsoup, man. I've... Look up Batsoup. Over there, man. Batsoup coronavirus.

And you'll see the picture, and I'm pretty sure you're gonna throw up when you see the picture. Wasn't there a kid in our elementary school named Batsoup? Batsoup? No, it wasn't Batsoup, man. Vat, or was Vatsoup? I don't remember him.

He's from Vietnam. Vatsoup. Vatsoup? Oh, the little fella from Vietnam? Yeah, it was... His name wasn't Batsoup. What are you talking about? His name was like... I forget, it had a ho in it, though. Remember you used to tease him?

I didn't tease him. What do you mean? He had ho in his name somewhere, and you were saying, oh, he's a ho. Oh, yeah, it was Ming Ho, and you called him Big Ho. I didn't call him Big Ho. Well, he was big. Did you hear about the, somewhere in Colorado, the sheriff's department, there was a fucking big boulder blocking a lane of traffic. Mm-hmm.

And they described it. It's a big boulder that looks like a small boulder. It's blocking... Holy fuck. It's blocking a lane of traffic. How could it be? It's a weird fucking thing to tweet out. It's a very large boulder that looks like a small boulder

blocking a lane of traffic. Somebody was high at the police station. Did you find the bat soup? Oh, Jesus, man. I told you! What the fuck? I told you! No, why do you, like...

Is she eating a fucking bat? Like Ozzy Osbourne? Yeah, man. Yes, she's having bat soup. So what Ozzy did wasn't that weird after all? No, no, no, she's eating it because, like, oh, look at the fucking teeth on the thing. There you go. So what Ozzy did wasn't that weird after all? No, no, no, she's eating it because, like, oh, look at the fucking teeth on the thing.

There you go. They eat the teeth too, do they? I don't know, they just snack on the things. Jesus Christ. But I mean, why wouldn't you just at least take the bat out after you got the bat flavors in there? You don't need the carcass, do you? That's a weird one, man.

You make chicken soup, you don't leave the whole chicken carcass in there while you're eating it. You throw that out. You got the nice chicken soup. You could have nice bat flavors. Yeah, well, it adds flavor, probably. Well, but I mean, if you add some spices and get it nice and batty. I just can't understand how people would look at that bat and say, yum. Don't bats have rabies?

They can. That motherfucker. That's how old Yeller, that's how Cujo fucking got rabies. A bat bit him. Yeah, that's a movie, though. Curtis Joseph got rabies? Who? Curtis Joseph? Not that Cujo, Ricky.

Did. Cujo, the movie, the dog movie. The dog. Never saw it. Never heard of it. You saw Cujo, you wouldn't go outside for two weeks. You were scared of dogs. That was Old Yeller, wasn't it? No, man, Old Yeller's a good dog. Cujo was a fucking crazy...

Cujo was a good dog until he got rabies. Well, he got rabies. Same as Old Yeller. Did you hear they fucking think they found the Saskatchewan? I don't... They don'tatchewan? I don't. They don't got to tell me. I already know. It was out in Washington State.

This traffic cam fucking got them. Oh, I saw the footage. Do you think it's real? It is. It was about a... Sasquatch. Like a real Sasquatch. It was about a nine-footer.

They can't fucking come up with a nice picture. I've dealt with them, Ricky. I've dealt with the cocksuckers. You have not dealt with fucking Sasquatches, man. I have dealt with them. No, you haven't. You tell that to fucking the people that can eat them. It looks like a furry something walking.

Yeah. All right, I'm going to find it. He's about a nine-footer. Then there's also the goat with the human face in India. People are worshipping him now because he's got a human face. I think he's just a deformed goat. There you go. So why are they worshipping him?

Well, Ricky, you know, when a goat shows up and he's got a human face. They say it's an avatar of God. It can make people weird. Well, yeah, I mean, if you're the supreme being and you can do anything, of course you're gonna fucking send a goat down with your face on it. We're going to see this fucking thing? That's very logical. It was in Washington State, man.

I can do anything. I can send any kind of sign out of my fingertips. What should I do? Oh, fucking send a goat down with my face on it. That'll wow them. Well, he might just for shits and giggles. He's probably bored of doing everything else, maybe. Why? Okay, why wouldn't he send down a 400-foot goat with his face on it?

Why would it be a normal-sized goat? He'd send down a big fucking 400-foot goat with, like, a silver suit on or something. What the fuck would you do with that? A 400-foot goat would be hard to contain. That's what I'm saying. But it would fucking get people's attention, wouldn't it? A 400-foot goat with a shiny suit with a human face. Now that I would believe, okay, this came from somewhere. All right, I don't... This is, uh...

Your smart box is done. Hey, Art, you've done a little TikTok thing, haven't you? I'm on the TikTok. Have you done the cereal challenge? No, what's that? You and Julian should do it and get lots of views. What is it? It's when one friend lays on his back,

other friend pours milk and cereal into his mouth, and then the other friend eats it out of his mouth. Get the fuck out of here, man. I'm not doing that. Come on, Julian, TikTok. TikTok, here, lay down. You're not, I'm not gonna that. Come on. Julian, duck talk. No. No. Duck talk. Here, lay down. You're not... I'm not gonna be a fucking...

Get laying down. But if not, I was thinking of a good one for you. Why? You do the cereal challenge, but instead of using Julian, which a lot of people would probably like to see, use one of your cats. Hmm. Get the cat to fucking eat mouth out of your mook.

Or eat... Mouth out of your mook? Eat milk out of your mouth. I've done that many times without the camera rolling. I always let my kitties drink out of my mouth. I think it'd be a great little TikToker. I might do that on the TikTok machine. They're just photos, man. It's not a fucking video.

What is it, though? Can you see the fucking thing? I can see the fucking thing. What does it look like to you? Yeah, that is a nine-mile. It's about an eight and a half footer. It's hard to see what the fuck this thing is. That's a big foot. That's a Sam Squamish.

That's not the one I fucking saw. Well, it's probably a different one because there's plenty of the cocksuckers running around. There's no such thing, man. If you know where to look. And they know how to hide their tracks too. No, they fucks. They pick up, even when they take a shit, they pick it up and take it with them.

Because they don't want any... You know how long they've been looking for fucking Bigfoots and they can't find them? You get like the best... They're smarter than you think! They probably have invisible powers. They might. You get someone like the Man Tracker out in the woods out there... No, when they take a shit, they pick it up and take it with them.

The thing I don't understand... Back to the Bigfoot house. How do, where do they get rid of their footprints? How do they do that? With, they just take a spruce bough, they snap off, they wipe their prints, they walk backwards. You don't see him walking with a spruce bough behind his ass. I've seen them do it. And, Bob, they pick up their shit and take it back to the big foot of, like, a... Back to the Sam's Quam stand.

No, why would they do... No, man. They use it to make pots. That's how they make their clay pots that they drink out of. Holy fuck, Bubs. These are all just theories I have. Well...

So it's not proven? No, it's not proven, but I'm telling you. Sasquatch. They have to have some kind of a water gathering device. They don't exist though. This is all fucking fake, man. The more I drink, the more I believe it. Alright. Do you believe in this? What?

I'm trying to think of something good to say. Oh, I know what I could get you to believe in. Glass frogs. Heard about those cocksuckers? Glass frogs? Yeah, their whole undercarriage is see-through. You can see all their organs and shit. They're not made of glass.

Well, that's what they're called, because you can see through the fucking stomachs and all their organs pumping and doing their thing. It's fucking cool, man. I got baked last night. I was looking at them. They couldn't find them for 18 years, and now they found them again.

Glass frogs. Yeah, from Bolivia, man. That's a good band name. Glass frogs. Going to see the glass frogs tonight? I wish... Imagine if our stomachs were see-through. You could just check shit out and go, fuck.

Looks like you've got something going on. Here we go, here we go. With my organ. There we go. That's the one, right? Wasn't at night the one I saw, but... Are you fucking kidding me? I think I caught him a couple times. He's probably on his way to the nightclub.

Ha ha ha. They probably have a Sam Squamish nightclub that he goes to. Pops. I wonder if it was coincidentally, if it was... DJ Bigfoot, DJ Harry. It wasn't Halloween that day, was it? It could have been Halloween, yes, man.

That would explain it, maybe. If they don't exist, how did they film Harry and the Hendersons? Come on, pups. Well, I'm just saying. Just keep drinking, man. It said it was based on a true story. No, it wasn't, man. You know what was based on a true story?

Back to the Future. All right, okay, I think I've got it. Jesus Christ. Okay. That's gay porno. Oh, you give, come on. And buddy, fuck, come on. What, he's got a body cam on one? Is this the one?

No, no, man, it was a traffic fucking can. Not a police body cam. Don't know what to tell you. That was fucking... Oh, okay. Oh, a little music. Just look up traffic cam. Is that one, bubs? Look at that cock sucker. Is that real?

That is weird, isn't it? I mean there are assholes with stage videos now, but... Yeah, I know, that one's... That's a fucking guy in a suit. Just look up Washington State traffic cam, fucking sees Bigfoot. Just a second. Turn off that fucking music. Fuck.

Washington State. I know,. Fuck. Washington stage. I know, I know. Bang for it. God, Bubz, can you take over the smart box? He's too dumb. Just, I got it, you asshole. Jesus Christ. Hey, did you hear about the people that were fucking on the pyramid? I just saw that the first time.

Someone's banging? Did they get in trouble? Yes, it started an international investigation. They were fucking up on top of the very top of a pyramid and they filmed it and put it on the internet. There's a bunch of people shitting in Machu Picchu too or something. Machu Picchu. How did you say it so easy?

Machu Picchu. All right. New it so easy? Machu Picchu. All right. New Astro Kefir probiotics. Fuck off. Jesus Christ. If this isn't it, man, I'm done. Why would you go to a place like Machu Picchu and shit? Well, I think probably what happened was they hiked up there all day,

and then they get up the top, and they're like, we got to make a choice. Either we got to go way the fuck back down to the bathroom and our day's over and we'll never see Machu Picchu again, or we sneak into the room over there and take a shit there. I never thought of it like that. So they did nothing wrong. Well, they did, Ricky.

They're probably public bathrooms that they're too lazy to walk to, but... No, man. What do you got? It, uh... Okay. No. Don't get it, man. What do you got? It, okay, no. Don't get it, man. No, you got nothing.

Don't fucking get it. After all that. I thought I fucking had it, because it, but then it just doesn't show the fucking deal. Well, maybe. Well, Ricky, let's get your balls. Let's get your balls and your ass and some soy sauce. Not at the same time,

then you won't know which one kicked in first. Jesus. Do you want to get... No, I don't want to do anything with soy sauce on my balls. Not on your balls. You don't know what you're missing. I'm still trying to find this Bigfoot fucking footage, man. It's driving me nuts.

Well, maybe you'll find it another day. Yeah, maybe next week. No, I gotta sit here until I fucking find it. It's driving me nuts. Oh, maybe you'll find it another day. Yeah, maybe next week. No, I gotta sit here until I fucking find it. No, you're not. I'm kicking you out. I'm gonna keep shooting until I do find it.

Okay, boys. Ah! Suck, I think I got it. No. Oh, my God. Okay, does that look familiar? Is that it? No, that's not it.

Oh, wait a minute. That could be it. Yeah, but this look familiar? Is that it? No, that's not it. Oh wait a minute, that could be it. Yeah, but this is the shit I'm dealing with. I don't give a fuck about this. Show me that. That's it. Where's the video? I don't know what the fuck.

There's a fucking picture. Yeah, it's a webcam. Traffic cam. A picture traffic cam. Yeah man, is it a picture or is it a fucking video? It might be a still. Are you kidding me? But it's caught it a few different times. Same location.

It's probably motion activated. Explain that. Yeah. Explain that, son. All right, well, you know what? Fuck Bigfoots. Done. They can suck it. they don't exist. End of story, bubs.

I disagree, but whatever. Okay, boys. Are we done? We are done. Are we? Unless you wanna talk about, you know, unhappy things. Sad things. Yeah, it's really sad. I didn't know if we were gonna talk about, you know, unhappy things. Sad things. Yeah, it's really sad.

I didn't know if you were going to talk about that or not. Fuck, it sucks. Well, you have to, Ricky. It's hard, man. I know, but you can't. I know that you were a big fan. Ricky's very upset about Kobe Bryant. I mean, everybody is, the whole world.

But Ricky's... I didn't even know you were into basketball. I'm upset about all of them, man. That was horrible. Well, I know. It was terrible. Whole family on that chopper. Fuck.

Terrible soul. Let's give a... Have a... Have a drink. Have a drink and a moment of silence for those poor people that perished in that helicopter. Horrible. Cheers. And I didn't know you were into basketball, Ricky,

but now I know. He's the one that got me into it, man. Let's go shoot some hoops. I'm not very good, but I'll do it. I'm terrible, but I'll go do it. Let's fucking do it for him. You wanna shoot some hoops for Kobe Bryant? Let's do it.

Kick your guys' ass to shoot some hoops for Kobe Bryant? Let's do it. Kick you guys' ass. Shoot some hoops. Mm. Then we're going to inject some hoops. I don't even know what that means. Soy sauce.