Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 44 - The Load Game

Episode Date: March 29, 2021

Spring is springing and the Boys are getting horny - but what's their mating call? Ricky's also worried about shrinking cock sizes and the future of the human race, but Julian's got a plan! Also: Will Bubbles' chip dust invention work on steak and pickled eggs?

. It's a brain fuck. Yeah, it's fucked up, man. Fuck off. I thought you'd be good at this though, because your brain works in a really fucking different way. Too fucking big, man. Oh, you cunt. Think I got it perfected here, boys.

What are you whipping up now, man? Just flavor dust. Just extraneous flavor dust. Flavor dust? Well, you gotta remember that shit. We should be selling that stuff, like, separately. Like a little fucking... That's why I'm making it. It's got some kick to it, Ricky. Holy fuck. Flavor dust. Some spice, man. So flavor dust can just be in packages, right? And you put it on whatever.

Put it on fucking eggs if you want. That's a good idea. Right? Then you can have all dressed eggs. I like that idea. Or, you know. You owe me five bucks. Five.

Who does? Yeah, I'll get it for you. Yes. You have to race bucks. Five. Bulldogs. Yeah, I'll get it for you. Yes. I have to race early, man. Park after dark. All right, so what kind of shit do we got going on? Welcome to the park after the dark.

Today it is after the dark. And it's fucking spring, boys. About fucking time. Thank fuck. Jersey's 26. Holy fuck, you get horny in spring, don't ya? Man, I'm telling you, well, winter sucks, man. All animals are horny in spring.

Especially Julian, though. It's mating season. You see Julian out there pumping the fences. Hey? Pumping the fences, man. King of the wild. Oh, man. Well, hopefully things will get back to normal.

Grumpy, pumpy. I'm not grumpy today, man. No. Nope. That shit tastes good. to normal. Grumpy, bumpy. I'm not grumpy today, man. No. Nope. That shit tastes good. I know. Flavor dust.

It's gonna be huge. It would be good on eggs. Right? You can put flavor dust on anything. Have all dressed eggs. Have an all dressed steak. Doesn't matter. The possibilities are endless.

Dill pickle eggs might be weird. No, they wouldn't. Possibilities are endless. Dill pickle eggs might be weird. No, they wouldn't. They'd be delicious. Salt and vinegar eggs. Salt and vinegar eggs. They'd be delicious. No, they wouldn't, man. Salt and vinegar steak.

Salt and vinegar steak. Yes, sir. Because my flavor dust has the balance. I can't see salt and vinegar be going good on a steak, man. But give her a try. What's happening? What's up? Who's in charge?

We've got a meeting with the chip company in two weeks. Nice. Hopefully things will go well. Really? They've got to get a suit. They're fucking a pain in the ass to make, but they're good, man. I wish we had some right now. Fuck, those were good. I sent them off to the lab. My lab.

Well, be prepared, because if we get picked up, we're going to fucking make some money, boys. We'll be the chip kings. Are you working on the pictures, Ricky? I am. Okay, good. Just don't make them too fucked. No, I've got the bag pretty much designed,

and I just need your pictures, and I'm going to just stick them right on. You gotta not, don't put any cocks on the pictures because that's like, they'll shut it down. No. No Ricky, it's a real chip bag that's going to be at the flea market. What about really subtle ones? Like I drew a potato and he's got a little tongue. It's not really a cock. You know how potatoes have those things on the end? The little, the eyes? The little eyes. Little cock eyes. Kinda looks like maybe a tiny cock and balls.

If you can make them subtle enough that they're hidden, maybe. All right. Just. But I get to approve them. You can't have a big wang on something. Like a pickle with a wang. All right, that's good. All right, that's good.

All right, I'm glad. I drew one. It was a potato guy. The potato guy jumped in a jar of pickles. Well, it says I'm swimming with picknels. I can't wait to see them. Is there anything in this dust? Like, is there any drugs or anything?

There better not be. Nope, I don't think. No, this is just standard. I didn't fucking put any drugs in it. Unless Ricky added drugs to his spices, which um... Would've been weird. No, there's nothing... Okay.

Did you eat one of his fucking waffles this morning though? Yeah, three of them. Aw, but you and those were fucking loaded with fucking weed butter. No, they weren't. I didn't taste any fucking weed butter. No, there was no weed butter. It was just weed honey. Weed honey.

There you go. Weed honey. All right. I avoided them this time. Cherry. Cherry weed honey. I got all my faculties. All my faculties.

How did you avoid them, man? They were delicious. Because I learned my lesson. For the 400th time, I've eaten his food and got fucking too high to control myself. You ever heard of vicarious menstruation? What? Me either. Vicarious menstruation.

This woman, she went to the doctor because she was fucking crying. She was crying blood tears. Oh, merciful Jesus. So they finally figured it out that it had to do with her menstruation. I guess it's called vicarious menstruation. You can get bleeding from the nose, ears, lungs, nipples, intestines, skin, and eyes.

Imagine your nipples all of a sudden start fucking shooting blood out. Oh, Jesus, Ricky. We're right into her already, eh? I guess it wouldn't happen to us, but... Well, it could. But if you, you know, if you were sucking on some things and all of a sudden...

Ricky. It's a bloody mess. Yeah. Well, we're into it now, eh? Right into it now. Right out of the gate with the bloody nipples. It would be a weird one. It would be a very weird one.

I don't wish that upon anybody. It says you can bleed through your skin, but how would you know? Well like your sweat, must be your sweat glands, like your pores. Well you might just think you cut yourself. Not if it's coming out like, you know, all over the fucking place, Ricky. If you're turning red from blood. That would be fucking weird. It would be very fucking weird. Glad I'm not a woman.

I wish you were. If I was, I'd probably be pretty slutty. Oh, you'd definitely, man. Ricky, you'd be terrible. I'd be good, too. You would, would ya? I betcha you'd think that he was hot if he was a chick. Him? Yeah.

Is he built the same way? I don't know. How would he be built? There'd be some things missing and some things added. I know, but like overall, has he got the same physique? Same ass. Just less hairy. Okay. Less hairy or clean shoving? He'd be more hippie.

So he'd have that ass but he'd be like the hips. Clean shoving? I'd wear those jeans that have the little ass implant pads. That'd be nice. Well, if you had bigger hips, your ass would probably be a lot nicer, man. Well, nice. And just medium. A lot nicer?

Whoa, now. I'm not saying you should have a nice ass. I'm just saying that kind of slipped over. No, you said a lot nicer, meaning there's a certain level of niceness there. I've never stared at his ass before. I don't even know what his ass looks like. Randy has. He stares at your ass a lot, man. I don't even know what his ass looks like. Randy has.

He stares at your ass a lot, man. Yeah, he told me that it used to be a lot nicer. Really? Yeah. Prick. Has he ever grabbed it? I don't think. Maybe when I was drunk. He looked at your wiener at the urinal one time, I know that. What?

He was telling everybody at the playground. He was pissing next to you down at the Legion, looked at your wiener in the urinal, told everybody at the playground. Yeah. Wow. He did describe it as mythical. Mythical? Yeah. I wish. Wow. I wish. I tell Randy. He does the trick. All right.

All right. Wow. Conversation, boys. That was a weird one. I'm not talking about your ass or your cock or anything. Let's end it. No more. You want to break up with him?

Fuck off, Pops. Let's end it with this. What size of breasts would you like me to have, Julian? C's, maybe. I don't know. Yeah, C-cups are nice. Firm ones. You guys are fucked. What do you have? What are those, double Ds?

Double Ds. Double D muscle tits. Did you hear about this fucking mouse plague in Queensland and New South Wales in Australia? A what? There's like a mouse plague. They're New South Wales in Australia. A what? There's like a mouse plague. They're fucking out of control, like insane. Grocery store over there says they're killing 600 a night.

600 a night in a grocery store? Yeah. Oh, I should let my kitties over there. Fucking thousands and thousands of little fuck faces. My kitties would have a field day. That would drive me insane. I can't, I'm not a big fan of... Don't do it! I don't like the mice!

Yeah, mice are fucked. Jesus Christ! Why don't they just buy a bunch of cats? Problem solved. No, you can't just let cats deal with that. That's a bigger issue when there's thousands of mice. 600 a night? How many cats? Cock suckers reproduce every three weeks. They can have like 500 fucking babies per mouse. Holy fuck. One season. Jesus. That like 500 fucking babies per mouse. Holy fuck. One season. That's

more frequent than your mother. You guys are fucked. You there. Who's that guy that used to complain about us eating on the thing? I don't know. Shit bear? Shit bear. Was it shit bear? Moon Bear. Who's Shit Bear? Oh, Shit Bear's the guy that plays down on the corner. Jimmy Shit Bear. You know Jimmy Shit Bear. I know Jimmy.

I don't call him by Shit Bear, man. No, I don't either. It was Shit. It used to be Jimmy Shit Beard because he had, remember, he got shit in his beard one time. And then they called him Shitty Tits because he got drunk that time. But they shortened it to Shit Bear because he didn't remember, he got shit in his beard one time. And they called him Shitty Tits, because he got drunk that time. But they shortened it to Shit Bear, because he didn't like shit beard. He was threatening people. So they just dropped the D?

How did he get the shit in his beard that time? He was wasted, and he was doing a handstand. You know, he was little. Oh, he actually shit on his own face? Yes, he was. He had a bit of, you know, the diarrhea kind of thing. Oh, Jimmy Shitbeard. Fuck.

Yeah. That's quite a handle. He's not getting much kissing these days. Nope. That fucking name's gonna stick with him forever. He doesn't have a beard anymore, though, which is nice. He shaved that off. Yeah, so they just call him Shitty Lips now.

Shitty Lips. Poor guy, man. He's had so many fucking nicknames. Yeah. I always thought it was, you know, a dominatrix. I always thought it was a dominatrix. A what? I thought it was a dominatrix.

It's a dominatrix. It's a dominatrice. Dominatrix. Dominatrice? Just Louisiana priests and two dominatrices. Dominatri. Were charged with vandalism for having a fucking sex orgy on the church altar. Oh, Jesus. That would have been quite the fucking scene.

Yeah. Who caught them? Jesus. That would have been quite the fucking scene. Yeah. Who caught them? Jesus. But the priest or somebody else? I'm sure Jesus was watching. Oh.

Going, what the hell is happening here now? Do you think Jesus says, what the hell? At this point. He might be a little more PG, wouldn't he? What the clam? I bet you he says, what the clam? I bet you he doesn't say, Jesus Christ. He might just go, ah, me. He might do that, yeah.

He's the only one that could say that. Yeah. You guys fucking check out Miami? They just can't stop partying down there. They're fucking crazy, man. Everybody's getting drunk. They're banging. There's COVID everywhere. I mean.

I saw a bunch of them on the news and they interviewed the kids. I don't care. I just don't care. Just want to drink and get banged. That's all I want to do. Yeah, until they're fucking getting a fucking ventilator tool rammed down their fucking mouth. That's what happens. Yep, wave three.

Fuck. Just put on a goddamn mask, would you? No, they're not having anything to do with masks. They're done. Yeah, well, don't wear seat belts either. Say fuck that. Don't wear shoes. Why wear fucking shoes?

Is Taiwan like a good country? What's their deal? They make a lot of shit there, man. Fantastic country, apparently. Never been there. They must have a fucking obsession with sushi or something because there's a bunch of people been there. They must have a fucking obsession with sushi or something because there's a bunch of people over there. There's a sushi chain,

Akindo Sushi. And if your last name is Giyu, something like that, it means salmon. You get free sushi on Wednesdays and Thursdays. So a bunch of these Taiwanese people are legally changing their name to salmon. For free food?

Free food. Why not? Jesus Murphy. And then what if they change the rules and say, well, no, you gotta... It's a lot of work to go through to get some free fucking sushi. It is, but if you're hungry and you love salmon, fuck, it's a good deal. I'd change my name for some rum, free rum, twice a week. Why not?

Would you change it to Julian Cocklips? No. Because I'll do the paperwork up right now. I would change it to Julian Rum. Fuck it if I had to. They were like, your name's Rum? Julian Rum. My name's Rum.

Julian Rum Barrel. So maybe they're smarter than all of us. Who? These people that are legally changing their name. I thought it would be a pain in the cock, but I guess if you're going to get free food every week. Would you change your name to Ricky Weed Plant for free weed? I get free weed.

What happens with the criminal record if you change your name? What? You don't have a criminal record anymore. It doesn't like flip flop over? No, it must. It must. I don't fucking know, that'd be too easy, wouldn't it? Fuck me.

I was convicted of murder, seven murders, but I changed my name so I'm free now. We should try it. I can get rid of my record. Jeffrey Dahmer could have changed his name to fucking Jeffrey McDonald. Just fucking fade it off into the sunset. So the cops would definitely not have it in their system. Maybe the government would, but I bet you they wouldn't. Get pulled over. I'm trying it. How much does it cost to change your name? Get out of the wrong pipe. How much does it cost to change your name? Get out of the wrong pipe! Are you okay?

Yeah. Alright. Just a little popcorn. What should I change my name to? Straight vodka. Your name. Uh... What does he look like?

Ramirez? I like Le Fleur. I like Ricky Le Fleur. We're gonna change both first and... Richard Ramirez? I like LeFleur. I like Ricky LeFleur. We're going to change both first and... Richard Ramirez has a bit of a ring to it. The Night Stalker. Ricky, you know who that is? Me?

The fucking Night Stalker. You don't want that name. Okay. Jesus Christ, you might as well change it to fucking Ted Bundy. What hotel was he living at when he was coming in? The Cecil. What about Rich? That's what it was.

The Hotel Cecil. Richard Rich. He'd come in with blood all over him? Yes. He'd be like, hey. He'd change his bloody clothes out in the alley and tromp through all fucking covered in blood and people would just be like, oh, yeah. There's that guy.

There's that bloody fella. Must have been out doing something involved in blood. That hotel's got a bad rap. There's a lot of people that were killed in blood. That hotel's got a bad rep. There was a lot of people that were killed in there. Yeah, there was a Canadian girl that went down there from Vancouver

and they found her in the water tank on the roof. Yeah, she got in the tank. She got all fucked up in the elevator. People were drinking the water, brushing their teeth,

bathing. It's her body water. Oh, yeah. They were brushers. They interviewed a couple on the documentary and they were brushing their teeth with the brown water.

And they're like, you know, I'm thinking you go to a fucking different country. If there's brown water coming out of the tap, it stinks. Don't brush your teeth. Don't put it in your fucking mouth. It's pretty simple. Yeah. That's from like, you know. From a decomposing body.

And then fluids and stuff coming out of it. She was in there for a couple weeks, wasn't she, or something? I believe so. you know, from a decomposing body. And then fluids and stuff coming out of the, like, everything. She was in there for a couple weeks, wasn't she, or something? I believe so. Oh,

yeah, everything would be, you know. Just coming right out. Oh, it'd be awful. Poor thing. Never did find who killed her,

did they? She didn't. They, I don't think anybody killed her, Ricky. She, she, she had a,

like a, psychotic episode, a psychotic episode and she, they believe that she thought people were chasing her and she went up and she got in the tank to hide. Poor thing. With no clothes on? Yeah, I don't remember how that part came about.

Maybe, well, if she was in there and then she realized, oh, I got to tread water, maybe she tucked them off to make herself lighter or something, I don't know. We'll never know, huh? No, but what we do know is that humans aren't going to be around that much longer. Okay. I read this thing in a science book. It's fucked.

Sperm counts are shrinking. Penises are shrinking. Penis size and taint size are all shrinking. Your taint's shrinking as well? Yeah. What do you mean? Newborn males are born with tinier cocks, tinier taints, and 59% less sperm. The bag to the ass, right?

So that's shrinking? Yeah, and apparently it has a lot to do with sex. I don't know why or how, but that's what they're saying. So is your unit moving closer to your hull, or is your hull moving forward? Because one of them is migrating. Or you're just getting thinning out a little bit. I don't know, but they're saying eventually,

if the cocks keep shrinking at the rate they're shrinking, it'll just be like you won't even really be able to do anything with it. So it's just, that's weird. That's fucking weird, man. It is weird. From 1973 to 2011, sperm count has gone down 59%. That's all the fucking chemicals people eat. So in another 30 years, no little swimmy guys.

We won't need any birth control. It's probably a good thing. Probably a good thing. That we're just going to have no more people? Oh, no, they'll figure out a way to make more people. They'll make them out of fucking plastic or carbon fiber or something. Yeah, you're right, man. Drones, bots, droids.

Everything's going to be bots, man. Droids. I'd like to have a droid. It wouldn't be much fun with a fucking quarter-inch cock, no sperm. I mean, that's gonna take a long time for that to happen, man. Eventually, if you have no taint, your cock will be right beside your ass. Yeah, that's a weird one. You wouldn't even be able to see it. It might get swallowed up like a black hole

Everything falls in and then you just got a big gaper nothing on the front So one's that what do they say this is gonna happen well thousands of years 1973 2011 went down 59% so probably another 30 years, there'd be no little swing guys. It's all the fucking chemicals, they think. But that's, you know, they should start freezing it. We bought freezing it. I was going to think the same thing. Well, that's what they're talking about doing. And they're fucking trying to open up a sperm bank on the moon.

You could use your connections in the pest world, maybe, and get into the load game. No, they're not into the load game. No, I don't ever want to talk to those people again. They were fucked. But bubs, a freezer, how much can we store in a freezer? Your freezer? Tons. My freezer, none.

Is that the right way of doing it? Or is it like fucking some hand solo? Oh, hand solo shit. Yeah, I don't think you can just, you know, fire it in a Tupperware dish and put it in your freezer. Okay, so you need you got to figure out what it would get freezer Burnt and then if you you know, no, they're doing the cryo shit and they're sending like six point seven million species to the moon Crypto load crazy party up there. What if we can get into something like that? Crypto load sounds like a superhero Villain, it's gotta I mean people are making tons of money out there just doing nothing, man.

I couldn't under-figure this out. Something about North Korea. You gotta shit out so much fertilizer a year. Citizens fight over feces to fill human fertilizer quota in North Korea. Competition for over feces to fill human fertilizer quota in North Korea. Competition for human feces has become cutthroat in North Korea as authorities have burdened citizens with impossible collection quotas to prepare fertilizer for next year's farming season.

So you've got to shit out a certain amount of tonnage. So North Korea, that's the fucked up Korea, right? The other one? Yes. The other one? Okay. North Korea is where. So North Korea, that's the fucked up Korea, right? The other one is the- Yes. The other one? Okay. North Korea is where Kim Jong-un, that fat little weirdo is. So they're just, everybody's got a shit quota?

Like everyone? Yeah. I'm pretty sure, yeah. What the fuck? This guy's like- Maybe it's smart, it's recycling. No, because they run it like, he runs it like a crazy person, like a madman. That's crazy.

So everybody's starving to death, they can't get farming going, they can't, because he keeps it isolated from the rest of the world, and he's crazy. And he shoots missiles at people, and they're like, fuck you, we're not giving you any fucking food until you stop firing missiles around like an asshole. What do you do if you have liquid shit? Does it still count? I doubt it. And I'm guessing their diet's not great. They're probably not making, you know, the type that they're looking for. They eat a lot of salt.

How do you know? Maybe that's somewhere else. Eat a lot of salt. No, they do. It says right here, the best snack you can get in North Korea is a salt lick. What? Oh, I just made that up. I was going to say, man, that's pretty fucked. Those poor people, man.

They got a shit quarter. They're eating fucking salt in there. Oh, I feel horrible for the citizens over there. They've got a tragedy that would do it for a steak. They might be happy as fuck, who knows? They're not happy as fuck, Ricky. What if we can get a deal with North Korea with our

chips if we get chips coming out? Because that would be fucking tasty. Holy fuck! RFA reported in January, shortly after Kim Jong-un's New Year's address, that households were struggling to meet an impossible quota amounting to 220 pounds per citizen.

For how long? I don't know, but you've got to crank out 220 pounds of shit. What's your average shit weight? Pound? I don't even know. I don't think so. All right, so if you ate like two quarter pounders, right? That's a half a pound, right?

But you're not going to shit at all. I know, that's what I'm saying. Your body uses some of that. So how much is left, I wonder? Well, next time you do it, weigh it. I'm not going to fuck with that. Google, what does the average Pusini weigh? Are you serious?

Yes, I wanna know. I gotta do the math on this. You know, what is the average human turd? I'm gonna look this up, man. What does an average human turd weigh? Or even an average shit. That's what it is, Ricky. Yeah, but you might shit out multiple turds

in one sitting. Yes, okay, let's get technical. How much does the average shit weigh? Stool, right? Bowel movement. Bowel movement. God damn it, man. I wonder if they really know. Maybe no one's ever weighed it. And now hit images. Oh, man. I wonder if they really know him. Maybe no one's ever waited.

And now hit images. Oh, man. See what you get. Maybe there'll be a picture of one sitting on a scale. Mass collection of poop. Oh, my God. Unbelievable. Quarter pound to a pound.

So let's say at half pounds, you'd have to have 440 shits a year. I don't even think they're talking a year though. I think they're talking a month, isn't it? Holy fuck. There's no way you could have shit a year. So what happens if you don't meet the quota? What do they do? Do they beat you? Probably fucking kill you. Shoot you with a missile. Probably. What do they do to the quota? Probably fucking kill you. Shoot you with a missile. Probably.

Using human waste and the government taxing. No, those are yearly collection quotas. So 220 pounds per person. Where the fuck do you store it? Shit locker. Or do they have a weekly shit collection? What a fucked up place, man. The shit truck probably comes around.

Maybe you just put your hole right on the fucking hose. Maybe it's like the ice cream truck, but you just go out and you fucking put her in a cone. It's like a reverse ice cream truck. Bubz? Well, I'm just saying. It's so fucking weird over there. Yeah, it's fucking weird. I'd like to go visit there. I'd like to see how fucking weird it is there.

Well, they're cut off from the rest of the world. They have their own they have internet, but it's not connected to the world pipe. So they just have their own information. And the government tells them that everybody's trying to murder them and Kim Jong-un is the only thing keeping them alive. Wow.

Maybe they're happier than all of us. I fucking don't, Ricky. It's hard to be happy when you're fucking starving to death. You've got a shit quote of 220 pounds a year. And you're starving? You're not happy. How are you going to crank out 220 pounds of shit if you only have 100 pounds of food a year?

Start eating things you've never eaten before. Grass. Whatever you can eat. They're eating stuff like that, Ricky. They were eating dogs. They were taking people's dogs. Fucking cooking them up. Jesus Christ.

So we're lucky to be able to sit here and eat this fucking delicious popcorn so living there would be like an awful acid trip your entire life all of a sudden they're collecting your dogs and you're forced to worship the guy too if you don't worship him you get fucking we're never going there bubs

well you don't gotta tell me I'm not going to fucking North Korea these Spanish drug smugglers they built a fucking submarine out of plywood. And they got caught with it. But it just proves that you can do it. You can't have a submarine built out of plywood. Nah, there's not fucking money we can make. Going down to Maine.

How would they make it watertight, Vicki? Well, you could put some fiberglass over it, I guess, or something. You wouldn't want to hit a rock. Okay, so it's not just wood. This fucking thing was 30 feet long and 10 feet wide. Oh, I could belt her. I'm not saying I couldn't belt her. What would we ship down?

To where? Probably Maine. It's close. Lobster. Submarines and lobster. They've got lobster back. We gotta send something down and bring something back. I guess we can bring back blueberries. Maine's good for blueberries, aren't they? Yeah. We don't need a fucking submarine to fucking traffic blueberries, man.

WLBZ-TV, Channel 2 in Bangor, W04AK Waterville, W57AQ Calais. It would be fucked to get caught in a submarine full of blueberries. LBZ TV, channel 2 in Bangor, W04AK Waterville, W57AQ Calais. It would be fucked to get caught in a submarine full of blueberries. Would you get in trouble for that? Probably. Yes, man. Probably, Ricky. They'd be saying, what the fuck are you doing?

Why do you have a fucking submarine, first of all? Because I had some precious cardio coming down when you didn't catch me. Dummies. That'd be a great thing to say to them. It says it can hold $500 million worth of cocaine. Well, I guess that's what you should probably ship down there, then. I don't have those kind of connections, man. Well...

Who the fuck is going to lend you $500 million worth of cocaine? Pablo Escobar would. Yeah, but you wouldn't want to fucking be on the... You don't want to have to work for someone, man. You wouldn't owe him money. No, you wouldn't want to owe him anything, that's for sure. Where's my $500 fucking million worth of coke?

Oh, it got wet. I built a fucking wooden submarine and she leaked. Yeah, that would suck. Got wet, Pablo. We'll have to come up with a better idea. Yeah. Whoa. You guys ever hear of the honey eater bird?

The what? Honey eater bird. Honey eater? Honey eater. They're going extinct, man. No. Because you know why? You sure it's not a bee? No. Honey eater? Honey eater. They're going extinct, man. No. Because you know why? You sure it's not a bee? No, it's a honey eater.

It's a fucking bird, man. In Australia. What? What is he saying? It's the way his brain operates. Well, yeah, it's a honey eater. Anyway, they forgot their fucking mating song. So they're trying to sing. He don't eat honey, by the way. Oh, yeah, they forgot their fucking mating song. So they're trying to sing.

Don't eat honey, by the way. Oh, yeah, they make it. They make it. I knew there was a connection. That's why I was laughing. I wasn't paying attention to him. How do you forget a mating call? They're forgetting.

There's only fucking 300 of them left. There used to be fucking thousands and thousands of them. Julian, give us your mating call. Come on, let's get you. Give us the line. Okay, what would your mating call be? No, the one you always use at the birth. I don't use it.

You do, you know, when you go up in that deep Elvis voice and you go, hey, baby, you've got some nice eyes. There it is. Hey, baby, you've got some nice eyes. There it is. Hey baby, you've got some nice eyes. That's the mating call. Just gotta be a gentleman, man. If you were a bird, what would your mating call be? Give us a little wisdom.

Let's hear yours first. Okay. I think mine, it should be like this, Ricky. Harney, harney. That's good. Right? That's a good one. Okay. I think it should be like this, Ricky. Arnie! Arnie! That's good. Right? That's a good one. Well, somebody should be able to reteach them the fucking song.

They can't, man. They don't have it ever on tape anywhere? Well, obviously they don't. You say, hey, fucking fuckhead. This is what you got to sing, you stupid idiot. They should have it and just blast it. Yeah, but then the birds would probably start banging the speakers. Speakers and stuff, but at least they'd fucking know what it is.

They might get the fucking hint. Could be that. That's a good one. Bob and Doug. Bob and Doug. That was not their mating call. Well, it was when they were drinking. Well, it's March the 26th.

Back in 1812, in Caracas, Venezuela, there's a fucking crazy earthquake that destroyed 9% of the city. Can you imagine? 90%? 20,000 people would fucking die. Jesus, Murphy. That would be fucked.

Yes, that would not be good. That would not be good. 20,000 people at once something like that happens like you rebuild or just say fuck them moving I would think you'd just move on

they want to move on there's nobody there and they had no front end loaders and shit to clean up back then did they no Ricky

what year was this 1812. No, they didn't. No, and there was a war raging in America, too, so they wouldn't have been able to borrow any of their tools. What was it called? The War in 1812? Yeah.

What did you think it was called, Ricky? The Great War. It was called the War of 1812. The War of 1812. The War of 1812. Oh. They didn't really put a lot of thought into that one. Party, party!

And also on this day in 1945, they raised the flag at Iwo Jima. Oh. There you go. The Allies, led by the fucking Marines. Iwo Jima, that's that famous picture with the... Wasn't it big? What?

Oh, I thought that... You thought that he set that up? I thought I saw that in a movie or something. It wasn't as real as people thought. Oh, I don't know. Did it take two? Still, it doesn't matter. It's still an iconic...

Oh, it fucking is, yeah. Still an iconic photograph. Yeah. Oh, I forgot about born days. Anybody famous get born today? Let's see. Kimmy the Crack, Ricky. Tennessee Williams, do we know him?

Yes, Ricky. Tennessee Williams. George Jefferson. George Jefferson. George Jefferson? Yeah, CEO of British Telecom. Oh, I thought you meant from the Jeffersons. Well, we're moving on up, moving on up. Fucking Spock got born today.

Spock did. Yeah. Yeah. Better than anyone. Alan Arkin Fuck Love him Nancy Pelosi

Do you know her? Yeah James Caan Fuck Yeah He was good man Godfather People that were born today

Diana Ross Oh Diana Stephen Tyler Oh Martin Short I must say Oh, Diana. Nope. Steven Tyler. Oh. Martin Short. I must say. Ed Grimley.

Wolf Samuelson. Yeah. Wolfie. Kenny Chesney. Kenny Chesney. Boys, I need to go take a fucking nap. Do it. I got it, man. If we're drinking tonight, I'm napping for so freaking...

I'm drinking now. I got a good buzz on now. I might switch over to tequila. Shooters! Let's go get some shooters, Ricky. Give me a half hour. Tequila poppers! Fucking waffles. Give us your meeting call on the way out, Ricky. I forget the song.