Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 45 - Worst Case Ontario

Episode Date: February 10, 2020

Need to escape a snake, cuddle a cat, or beat your gym addiction? Ricky's got learnt on some great tips! The Boys also discuss the Super Bowl ads, what to do if you chop your arm off, and play another f**ked round of If You Had To. Find out who's gonna get eaten, and who's getting a cock face tattoo!

No fucking way. Man. What's going on, Ricky? Just figuring out how to escape from a boa constrictor. What? Yep, you gotta act immediately. Gotta make slow, careful movements Splash alcohol on the snake's face if you can

Grasp the head Slowly unwrap Stun the snake What the fuck is this? Wrap it hard in the center of the head Stunning it, temporarily Easing constriction Douse the snake with water

This is the ultimate worst case scenario survival book. That's fucking great. Ricky, you're not gonna get into it with a fucking bowl constrictor. Well, you never know, man. When are you ever gonna confront a bowl constrictor? At the pet store? Here's one. How to get your cat to cuddle. Let's see what that's all about. Oh, yeah, here we go. You don't gotta fucking try to educate me on that one, my friend. Play soothing classical music, do aerobic exercise, jumping jack sit-ups or push-ups until you are lightly perspiring. What?

Elevated skin temperature and a sheen of perspiration are attracted to foreign blooded mammals such as cats. Remove your shirt, Julian. What? Sit down in a large reclining chair. Recline the chair by 45 degrees. Move your butt forward so that your lap space is maximized. Call your cat's name and encourage him voice. Purr.

Well, I do all that anyway. I come back from hauling carts. I got a bit of a sweat on. Bring the tongue up to the roof of your mouth. I pop my shirt off. I get reclined. My kitties jump on me. Puffs.

Why? What's better? Turn around. Look at this. I got a bit of a sweat on. Bring the tongue up to the roof, you know. I pop my shirt off, I get reclined, my kiddies jump on me. Bubs. What? What's better? Turn around, look at this. That. Look at that fucking TV, boys. That.

I can't, what? This setting or this one? I can't see a difference. What's better? No? I don't see a difference. I can't believe some fucking idiot was throwing that away. Do it again.

OK, here, I'll do this one. It's the black level. Up. Don't fuck up my TV, man. That one's the better one. OK, fuck off, man. I'm making it look better. Bring your tongue up the roof of your mouth

and gently exhale, blowing air over your tongue and through your front teeth. What's this for? That's how you purr, but... I know how to purr. Like this, Ricky. Oh yeah. Lightly pat your lap. Pssssss I don't know. This is kind of lame. Okay, do you know we're doing the thing?

Oh, did that start? Mm-hmm. Julian! What's he doing? What? Hark after dark. No shit, I'm just gonna level... Don't fuck up the settings, man. I'm fucking making it much better than what you had.

Ricky, your reading's become quite good. I'm getting there. You said some big words there. Oh, look at this. Maximized. You read that one, no problem. This is great for Julian. How to treat a gym addiction. Julian.

What? How to treat a gym addiction. Get off here. We're gonna cure you, bud. Yeah. I'm not addicted to the fucking gym, man. You're addicted to parts of the gym. Okay, examine your...

Do you work out multiple times a day? Yes. Do you show up at the gym when you know it is not open? Yes. No. Do you fellow gym goers think you are an employee of the gym? Yes. No. Have you ever lied to family members or friends about the amount of time you spend at the gym?

Ever. Every day. Do you have designated equipment that no one else is allowed to use? My own equipment. I don't go to the fucking gym. He's got designated equipment. I tried to use your squeezer one day and you almost broke my neck. No, I didn't, man. You almost punched a hole through me.

I encourage you to fucking use the squeezer. Does the thought of your gym closing for a holiday terrify you? Yes. Oh, man. Yes, you were calling the gym. What's your holiday hours? Step one is you need to admit that you have a problem

and that you need help. I don't have a fucking problem. You have a gym problem. I don't even go to the fucking gym, man. I work out with my own shit. Admit to one other person that you have a problem. We know you go to the gym because we followed you there. No, you're fucking lying you're lying, Bubz. Julian.

Watch yourself carefully and be willing to forgive a relapse. See, ag, getting easily aggravated when asked about the gym. Do not be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Handling knives when asked about the gym. Remember, nobody is perfect. ...is one of the symptoms of a gym addiction.

Yeah, it's not a big deal, Julian. You're normal. Not really, but you guys are fucked. Well... You're addicted, bud. I'm not addicted, man. You're addicted. Uh-oh. Here we go.

These things are so not fucking... Welcome to the perk after the dirk. What is this? The perk after the dirk. What is this? The perk after the dirk. Welcome. The perk after the dirk. Ricky sounds like he's a little... I've been fucked ever since the fucking Super Bowl.

Man, I didn't even drink during the Super Bowl. I haven't been able to drink. You know what? I don't give a fuck about the Super Bowl. Yeah, but it's about the party, man. I know, but I don't care about Super Bowl parties. Never did. Don't know why. Holy fuck, how to deal with it.

Bunch of fellas sitting around. Tarantula. Slap each other in the balls. That's what you guys were doing, eh? Oh, man. Enjoying the game? You play some poker. You get some money going.

You didn't win. What a suck, bud. I'd rather hang out with my kitties and watch. You hung out with Randy, didn't you? How to deal with a tarantula. A what? Find something to brush the tarantula off of you or away from you. If the tarantula is on you and cannot be brushed off,

stand up carefully and bounce up and down gently. The tarantula should fall off or skitter away. You're never going to be faced with that fucking... How to treat a bite. Of what? Treat a bite of a tarantula. Oh, my fuck. Have you seen this show called The Kings of Pain or whatever it is?

Those guys are fucked. Oh, my God. Those guys are fucking nuts. I saw him go like this and stick his fucking elbow right in a fucking python's mouth. Yeah. Crazy cocksuckers. Yeah, he got cut. Man, those guys are fucking nuts.

They should have read this book. They know not to do that. Well, they know not to do it. That's the whole point of the show, man. They get started with bitten or, you know. They're fucked. How to treat a severed limb? Does that mean, like, your limb's off?

Yes, that's what severed means, Ricky. How to treat a severed limb? Does that mean, like, your limb's off? Yes, that's what severed means, Ricky. How to treat a severed limb? I don't even know that. I gotta know. You guys can talk about stuff. Well, if you're fucking... Say you cut your arm off. You got a fire going?

You take the old fucking stump? Right in the coals, man. That's what Rambo would do. Locate any individual bleeding arteries on the stump. The arteries will bleed in a pulsating spurts. Pinch off the large arteries that are bleeding the most. Jesus, Murphy. Yeah, no shit.

With what? Pinch them off with what? You'd have to have some kind of... Artery pinchers? I guess with your with what? You'd have to have some kind of... Artery pinchers? I guess with your fucking fingers. Bring me an artery pincher! With your fingers to start with.

I got a set of six. Bring me the kit. Apply a tourniquet? A tourniquet. That's a twisty crank. A rope, man. Well, you twisty crank. So tie off the ends of any blood vessels being pinched using fishing line, dental floss, or heavy thread. And then you put the fucking limb into the fire, right? If you're somewhere where you have access to dental floss or fishing line, why don't you just go to the fucking phone and call a goddamn ambulance? Say, I cut my arm off.

Clean the stump thoroughly. You're not going to be cleaning the stump thoroughly. You're going to be calling 911. You're going to be in shock. Fucking try to keep your belt around it. Just let me clean the dirt out of my stump. Pinch off my arteries. Okay, this part doesn't sound...

This is optional. Cauterize remaining blood... That's what I said. ...blood sites using an iron or a piece of heated metal. Right in the fucking fire, man. You'd be in shock, man. You'd be fucking, I would. If you've got time to tie it up, clean it out,

pinch off each artery with dental floss, and then fucking eyeing your stump, you've got time to go to the emergency room where they can do it properly. To preserve the limb, wash it gently, wrap it in clean, moist cloth, pack it in watertight material, and keep it cool. We should fucking try this. Ricky.

Whose stump do you want to fucking try it on? Corey or Jacob. You're not cutting off one. We should. It's good we know this because they're dumb enough to fucking cut something off. Well, we could cut maybe the top of their finger off maybe, just a little bit. No, that's not a stump, first of all. That's a nib. Okay, cut his fucking hand off.

How do I escape from a giant octopus? Ricky. What the fuck are you reading, man? He's reading some book. It's the ultimate survival guide, man. Since when do you believe anything in books? Nothing's going to ever take me out ever again. Since when do you ever believe anything in books?

I like this book because it's got so many different pieces, but they're all short. So I don't lose interest. Okay, what would happen if you were fishing, right? And all of a sudden this big needlefish comes fucking jumping out of the boat. You can't fuck with needlefish because if needlefish gets on your finger, it'll rip the fucking thing to shreds. Yeah, but what if it goes right into your neck?

What do you do then? Shoot it. What in the fuck is a needlefish? It's a little tiny fish that fucking... That's a big fish, man. You got it good. Right in the fucking neck. That would suck.

Yeah, you don't want to pull that off either. You don't want to... Why? Does it get burned? All these little fucking razor teeth. Oh, yeah. Oh, that little cocksucker. Yeah, they're fuckers. It almost made him drown.

Oh, I fucking don't doubt it. Oh, shit, buddy. You got a fucking fish... Now he's drowning the fish in the air. He's drowning him with the air. I don't see animals.

How to fend off a shark. I already know all that. Ricky. He already knows that. Marine creatures that can kill you without teeth. I'm going to study that later because they scare me a little bit. The who? How to survive an elephant stampede.

That's a good one to know in case you're at the circus. Fuck, man. What do you do? What do you do if you're getting, you know, you're in that position? You got a bunch of elephants. Yeah, actually, what does it say to do? What do you fucking do? Climb up a tree?

Not get killed in an elephant stampede. Grab onto one of the elephants and hold on tight. Jump onto him and start riding him. What's it say? I want to know. It doesn't say to curl yourself up into a little squash ball. I like this little picture. He's just laying on his back with his fucking arms over his head.

Yeah, that's going gonna do a lot. Should've been protecting his cock at least. What's it say? Take available cover. Makes sense. What if there isn't any cover? Climb a tree if you can.

No trees around. Lie down. Why would you lie down? That's a weird one. Lie down. At least you lie down? That's a weird one. Lie down. At least standing up you can try to dodge them. Unless the elephant is a ten on trampling you because you are hunting or the elephant thinks you are hunting,

elephants typically avoid stepping on a prone human being, even while charging. Wow. Protect your face. Wow. All right. Next time you go to the circus, you might survive. I think they're talking about more out in the Serengeti.

And if it's a drafts to stampede, try to find some water, because they don't, they avoid water except for drinking. If you can't reach water, climb a tree or shut there. Why would you climb a tree? He's just gonna be looking you in the eye then. Yeah, they are tall, aren't they? Very tall.

How tall? Six feet? They taller than people? Giraffes? Yes. They're fucking really tall, man. Alright. So. Okay. Welcome, guys.

Welcome to the Perk After Dark. The Super Bowl just happened. Commercials. Let's talk about the commercials. Mr. Peanut died. He did? I couldn't believe it. Why did he have to die?

Is it because he's called Mr.? Well, he's back now as Baby Nut. Yeah, but Baby Nut. He came back. Do you not know about this? maybe not. He came back. What? Do you not know about this? Mr. Peanut died on camera. He crashed his peanut mobile. He what?

He crashed his peanut mobile. He crashed his peanut mobile. He drove it over a cliff. They're hanging off a branch. One of them had to go because they were too heavy and Mr. Peanut sacrificed his life. Mr. Peanut let go. One of them had to go. What do you mean one of them had to go?

There's three people hanging off a branch on a cliff, but it's starting to snap. Mr. Peanut was the one that he gave them this, and he took his own life to save the other two. Mr. Peanut did. A cliffhanger kind of deal. And he fell down, and they thought maybe he was going to be okay, but then the peanut mobile blew up and roasted him. He was a roasted peanut.

And then they had his funeral, and guess who was at his funeral? Who? Mr. Kool-Aid. Humpty Dumpty. Humpty Dumpty. Mr. Clean. Humpty Dumpty. Maybe not Humpty Dumpty. I was thinking of Mr. Mr. Clean. Mr. Clean was there. The Kool-Aid man. He had some fucking

high-end friends, man. And then guess what happened? A bunch of celebrities. The Kool-Aid man started crying and he cried bunch of celebrities the kool-aid man started crying and he cried on the grave and all of a sudden thing grows up baby peanut pops out mr peanut baby nut and he talked like a dolphin and then he did like he talked like flipper and then he said just kidding i'm back and that was it he's back as a baby. Oh, fuck. That all happened. That's all real.

Does Mr. Kool-Aid cry Kool-Aid tears? Yes. Of course he would. So it was the Kool-Aid. It was magic Kool-Aid. Might have been. Kool-Aid and peanuts. I don't know what the...

Next time I die, dose me in Kool-Aid. I'm going to slather you in Kool-Aid next time you die, Ricky. It's not gonna do anything for you, man. Jesus. Oh, fuck, those Pop-Tart pretzels look good. We still can't find them here, man. Pop-Tart pretzels? Three, four days we've been looking for the fucking things. Remember that goddamn... Maybe it wasn't real.

Maybe we just dreamt it. No, no, I saw it, because I wasn't watching the Super Bowl, but then I'd watch every time a commercial came on, because I do enjoy the commercials. Did you see the Google commercial with the old fella? No. That was a bit of a sad one. Yeah, were you crying?

I wasn't crying, but what happened to the guy? Well, he was old, and he's forgetting things, so he gets Google to remind him about who his wife is and stuff, and it was a little bit sad. You know? Holy fuck, man. I don't remember any of that stuff. I like that they fed a Snickers bar.

Because you were at the gym, probably. Oh, fuck. They fed a Snickers bar to the earth and made everything fixed. Yes, they fed a Snickers bar to the earth hole. The earth's mouth hole. They dropped a fucking... They had a big, big Jolly Green Giant-type helicopter, and they dropped fucking Snickers down into the Earth's mouth hole.

Now everything's fine again. Everything's fine. I didn't even know the Earth had a mouth hole. It doesn't. It doesn't. You don't feed a Snickers. No, the Snickers bar was big as four. People were getting paid to make up these fucking movies.

It was big as four trailers. The Snickers bar in a big helicopter drives it over and drops it down into the... We should be coming up with our own commercials, man. I came up with a bunch of commercials

that I've been pitching. Those are fucked. I was trying to get Tim Hortons to get the fucking head pin song. What song? Donuts make you feel

like dancing. Oh, yeah, that would be... Donuts make you feel all dancing Donuts make you feel alright Feel alright See now they're going to steal and you won't get anything Well they should just call They should hire Darby Mills to come in And do like a big dance thing

Dance number with all the police officers And if that happens We're going to get paid because this is proof Donuts make you feel like dancing That would be great We'll take one million bucks Yeah we're coming up with... Donuts make you feel like dancing. That would be great. We'll take one million bucks. Yeah, we could also drive everybody fucking crazy, man.

Who wants to be singing that all day? Tim Hortons would love it if people were singing that all day. It's driving me nuts, man. Boy, is this Lekker's. The white Lekker's going down nice. I got a good buzz on. Wow. You know what's weird? That we're from Canada,

and we actually knew that Kansas City was in Missouri. Yeah, we've been there. Yeah, that was a bit of a fuck up, wasn't it? The president didn't know where fucking Kansas City was. What? He tweeted out, congratulations, Kansas City. I fucking love the state of Kansas.

The state of Kansas? Kansas City's in Missouri. I know. We've been there. We've been to Kansas City. Yeah, that's how I knew. And we've been to the state of Kansas as well. I've been everywhere, son. Yeah, that was a bit of a fuck up Holy fuck this chick is trying to divorce her husband

Because he only bathes like once every ten days Who the fuck does that man Does what Doesn't have a shower for like ten days You've done it before haven't you What? Doesn't have a shower for like 10 days. Well, you've done it before, haven't you? Yes. Ricky, man, you should fucking at least shower every second day.

If I don't shower every day, I at least have like a little bird bath or something. What if you're doing like lots of banging? What's a bird bath, Ricky? It's just where you kind of stand at the sink. You wash your balls in the sink. Is that why it's always got like a puddle in front of your fucking sink? Well, you just wash everything down. You don't need to have a shower, but at least

I get cleaned. So we're stepping in as fucking ball water, man. Is it cleaned or clinked? Ball broth. Cleaned or clinked? Cleaned. Cleaned. cleaned? Cleaned. E-D. Cleaned.

Cleaned sounds better. Cleaned was a member of the guy that lived down just outside the park. Johnny Cleaned. Johnny Cleaned. You remember him? Was he cleaned? No, he was a dirty bastard, but that was his name. Cleaned.

K-L-E-E-N-T. Cleaned. Yeah. That was his name, Klint. K-L-E-E-N-T, Klint. Yeah. Fuck, I'd like one of those Pop-Tart pretzels right now. What's inside of them? I don't know, pretzel dust? I don't think they're selling them here. I can't find the fucking thing. They sound fucking gross, man.

Boys, I gotta get off the lecker. You've been just drinking all week. I couldn't even drink last night. I'm still fucked. What the fuck is... Oh, that's a... Let's play a game or something, man. This is boring the fuck out of me. I'm in good shape here, boys. Here, let's have a fucking round of this. I love this game. What is it again? If you had to.

What is it? What are the rules? I can't remember. But I'm pretty sure... Holy fuck, there's more! What, more pages? How to raise money for the wedding. What? You serious? That's in there. How to survive a honeymoon disaster.

How many cards was it you get, do you remember? Wasn't it five? One, two, three. One, two, three. Three, two, three. Four, two, three. That's five. Four?

And I'll be the judge on the first one. So you guys have to... So we're gonna do our best? Yes. The thing you don't think I would want to do. You gotta look at all your cards, Julian. And pick the thing that you don't think the bottler would want to do, no matter what. These suck. Did you ever give them one?

Mikey. You're turning. You're turning southern. This is so fucked. My drugs are kicking in. All right. Okay. So we got to pick one?

You got to give me one here and you give me one here. Rustle them up, boys. Rustle them up boys, rustle them up. Fuck, I don't know man. Guess this one sucks. Yeah, these, I mean. You are very slowly melting. Ricky, that's a pretty bad one. Okay, good.

That's a bad one. If I was very slowly melting? Ricky, that's a pretty bad one. Okay, good. That's a bad one. If I was very slowly melting? Yeah, that would not be good. That, I'm probably, that's probably gonna win, Ricky. Nice. Like a snowman. Let each of your friends choose a tattoo

to put anywhere on you. No question. Oh yeah, that was bad, but can you imagine having a big cock on your face for the rest of your life? Well, that's exactly what I'd have if I ever let you guys do that. What would you put on me, Ricky, if I said you can put any tattoo on me? You'll have to get back to me on that one. What would you do?

You'd have a cock going down that way. Yeah. Connected to a vagina that would go across your head and then a set of balls and maybe some tits right there. I can't even picture that. Can you draw it? That's weird. Yeah, I can draw it.

You know what I would tattoo on you? What? I would just shadow sculpt your muscles in, like put a shadow right there so it looks like you're permanently flexed and then you'd love me forever. That's like that, what was it, Jason Mimosa? He fucking had that commercial where he took all of his muscles off and he was just this little skinny dude.

I didn't see that. That's pretty funny. Are you sure his name's Jason Mimosa? Isn't it? Isn't a mimosa a drink with orange juice and champagne? No, it's a Mamoa, isn't it? Isn't it Jason Mimola? I don't fucking know, man.

He can't be a Mimosa. Jason Mimosa? Jason Minora? Is it even Jason? Mm-hmm. I don't know. Could be Adam. Adam Mimola? Adam Mimosa? What are you doing? Mm-hmm. I don't know. Could be Adam. Adam Momoa?

Adam Mimosa. What are you doing? I was drawing your tattoo, because I couldn't understand it. It's a very complicated description. Okay. This is the tattoo you'd put on my face? Uh, I... I mean...

I'm sure tattoo artists could do much better. Let me see. I need maybe to use a couple colors here. This is like... Can I shadow in your muscles? All right, so is he... Can I shadow in your muscles with a cherubi? Did I win that one? What the fuck, man?

There we go. Yes, you won that one. I like it. You'd get it good, though, bubs. Okay, so... That wouldn't be very nice. That's weird. It's like a penis there.

The vagine. The nuts are hanging off there, but it's connected to that, and there's a set of breasts. You're fucking twisted, man. That'd be the worst tattoo you've ever done. There was a guy on Dr. Pimple Popper last night that it looked like he had a second nut sack hanging off his leg. Why do you watch that fucking show?

I don't know. It's gross, man. But he had a full-on looked like a nutsack but it was hanging off the inside of his leg next to his nuts.

And all it was was just just nothing. She just snipped it off fired it in the fucking garbage. Why did It was just a fat bag.

Jesus Christ. How can you watch that fucking shit, man? Seriously. Why? And you can sit there and eat like a peanut butter sandwich and watch like... I was eating a fucking nice ribeye. Watching this guy getting a set of nutsack.

I was eating that, watching his fat sack. Fucking gross, man. Okay, so now you guys each get one more curd. Good, because mine suck. Okay, so now you guys each get one more card. Good, because mine suck. And now it's me and Julian have to pick a card that we think Ricky. Jesus Christ. This is fucked.

All right. So what's going on? We've got to give you a fucking card. You suck. What? What's happening? I'm going to give you a fucking card. You suck. What? What's happening? No, isn't it him, the judge? What?

Oh, okay, he can be. So you keep your card. This is here, just wait. No, this one would make you hard, so that can't. That one would too. So would that one. This is probably what I'm gonna say. So I just say two?

The two or do I throw one in? No, you just pick. Now you gotta pick the thing you would not wanna do. Anytime anyone sneezes, they must do it in your face. Oh, we had that one before. Never leave your house again. You don't, like, you don't want someone sneezing in your face.

That's it, winner. Yes. Yes, sir. That's it. Winner. Yes. Yes, sir. Fuck off. Bubbler. That's what the tattoo I give to you, so it wouldn't be that bad. Okay, so now...

Gripping block letters right across your forehead. Fuck off. Yeah, that would be a bad one. Now you get another one. You don't want to fuck with that guy. I get another one. But now it's me and Julian pick a card that we don't think Ricky would want to do. You've got to pick one.

Ricky wouldn't want to do? Yeah. Okay. I think you'd do all these easily, man. Yeah, that's the problem with playing this game with Ricky. There's a fucking fly, man. Ricky would do any of these. It's not a fly.

See, most people, this one would be it. Yeah, me too. Ricky'd probably love this. Here, take that. This one, maybe. Maybe you wouldn't like this one. Give birth to an evil alien who will cause the downfall of humanity. We had that one before, too.

I must have picked from the wrong fucking end of the game. Mike Tyson is going on a Rambo style manhunt for you. Jesus Christ. Ricky, you wouldn't care if you gave birth to the little evil alien. Yeah, you would end up getting high with Mike Tyson. He smokes a lot of dope, man. You wouldn't give, you would end up getting high with Mike Tyson. He smokes a lot of dope, man. You would be friends with him.

I don't like to be hunted. He's not hunting anybody, man. He's smoking blunts. He would wreck you. He's got that killer instinct. You've seen him in the ring. Not anymore. He's happy. No, he would probably hunt you right to the death. How would I give birth? Where does it come out?

Well, it would tear your ass wide open. Let's be honest. That would suck. There's only one hole for it to come out, Richard. No, it would come out of your piss hole. Jesus. Even worse. You'd look like, you know, when the cartoons blast a gun that's plugged and the barrel splits. So that's the worst one, right there.

That's what your wiener would look like. Easy, easy. Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with that one. I don't want my ass blasted apart. Or you're pissable. Oh fuck, did I just argue against myself? You did, thanks buddy. Yeah, thanks.

All right, so we each got one. Okay, we gotta play one tie breaker then. Here, let me pick from like in the center of the deck. All freshies, we get three freshies. Three freshies. Okay. Put these guys back somewhere. There?

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Jesus. okay okay so this is this is ones you guys are giving to me yeah I don't know man these are two these are these are some good ones. These are better cards than I have. Okay, this one, I just want this one. How come you got three? If I got two that are just about as fucked up.

You put two in? Ricky, I just, well, you can put two in as well. What's this for? I just wanted you to read that one to see. I wanted your opinion on that one. Okay. See if you would do it or not. Are you cheating? So I get two, I got a pick.

Jesus, that's a... Would you do that? Is he a boy or a girl? That's a boy. It says hook up with Yoda. Horny I am. What? It means bang Yoda. Would you bang Yoda? Jesus Christ. Okay, here's the four. Accidentally marry your brother's sister and only find out after your third child.

That would be awful. Accidentally marry your brother's sister. Brother or sister. Oh. I don't have a sister. Jesus. Eat as in cannibal eat. The person on the judge's left.

Boop boop. Oh, that wouldn't be bad. Jesus Christ. Look at the meat on him. That wouldn't be bad. Fuck. That'd be kinda delicious. Get rolled in plastic tarp, plastic wrap,

and then thrown in a swamp. Not fun. I don't like swamps. See if I can find it. The world's entire water supply comes from a spigot on your forehead. That would suck. That would be terrible. Eat, Julian.

I would do that if I was hungry. I would just cook them in a pan. Fuck. That's mad. Accidentally marry your sister and only find out after your third child or have a water spigot with the world's water supply. Swamp I could deal with.

Jesus, Murphy. What would be worse, to have the entire water supply of the world come? Well, you'd be pretty famous, and you'd be pretty popular. You'd be fucking busy, man. You'd be very popular. You'd be almost treated like a god.

Now, if you married your sister and banged her, and had three children... I guess at that point... They're gonna be not right in the head either. Yeah, you're right. They're gonna be crossed off. I would have to say that one, Ricky. Did you give me that one? Yeah.

Yeah! Ricky wins. Did your mom have a brother? Did you have an uncle? Did your mother have a brother? Yeah, I an uncle? Did your mother have a brother? Yeah, I had an uncle. All right. Don't know what happened to him. How to survive if you wake up next to someone and don't remember their name.

Here, see if there's one in there that says how to fucking end the park after dark. How do you do it? You just say goodbye. Thanks, everybody. Thanks, everybody. Thanks, everybody. Have a good week. We'll see you next week. Don't tell people to fuck off.

No, it's going to be across your forehead next week.