Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 47 - Terry Learns A Lot

Episode Date: April 17, 2023

Awoooo! Terry Cahill makes a flying visit to Sunnyvale, and gets learnt about Scottish squirrel gangs, invisible socks, and why speaking Greek might get ya a big surprise... OPA!! Also: Is Julian an alcoholic?!

To see the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys SwearNet app. Who's gonna say the magic words? I will. Go for it. Welcome... to Park After Dark. That was a perfect pause.

That was kind of dramatic. Pups, what the fuck you got going on there, man? It's a power drink. It's a GNC. Where'd you get the cup? It's a power drink in a power cup. With booze? Yes. All right, I like how you're... It's a power drink in a power cup. With booze. Yes. All right, I like how you're... It's an energy drink with booze in it.

I'm good at thinking. That's what I usually do when I work out. Power drink with a bit of booze in it? Energy drink with booze. Just don't drink too much of that shit. It's bad for you. The energy stuff, too much caffeine and shit, man. It's not good for you.

That's what doesn't have caffeine in it. And is the liquor okay for you? Liquor's always okay as long as you do it in moderation. Like you? Yeah, I pace myself. I don't get drunk every day. Okay, bud. I heard that. No, I went. All right. All right, let's get this going.

What do we got to talk about? If I took a breathalyzer on you right now, what do you think you'd come out at? I wouldn't be over. 2.1. That's not 2 point nothing. Bob's, get off my back. Get off my back.

Like, what is it? Get off my back, sucker. I have a few drinks during the day, so what does that make me a fucking problem drinker? Yeah, how many drinks in the day? I'm going way over the fucking limit. How many is it? Get off my back, sucker. I have a few drinks during the day, so what is that? Make me a fucking problem drinker? Yeah, how many drinks in the day? I'm blowing way over the fucking limit. How many is that? I make sure I keep it at a good fucking level, man, so that if I want to go take a drive, I'm not blowing over.

You're still drunk. I'm not drunk. I'm far from fucking drunk. You drink alcohol all day. And all night. You're an alcoholic. But am I guzzling it? Am I fucking feeding the shit into me like a madman?

You're fucking blown at least two points off. I'm not drunk. I am just someone that likes the taste of booze. So I'll drink, I'll sip away at it all day. How many drinks a day? I don't fucking know. I don't really count. It's not about how many.

It's about... You keep it topped up, but if you figured it out, you're drinking a quart a day. Not quite a quart. You're at the liquor store almost every day. Sometimes. On a Friday night, I'll drink a quart during the day. Like a Friday, Saturday, yes.

A quart during the day and then a quart at night. Sometimes that might happen. A quart a day, Julian. Anybody that drinks a quart a day, seven? Yes. A quart during the day and then a quart at night. Sometimes that might happen. A quart a day, Julian. Anybody that drinks a quart a day at seven days a week is an alcoholic, I hate to tell you. No, it's not a quart. Sometimes it's a pint. It's just... Just a pint a day?

If you drank six beer a day, would you be an alcoholic? How about let's get into this. Have you had your eyes tested lately? Oh. Have you? Fucking eyes tested lately? Oh. Have you? Fucking ass me. And you drive around in a go-kart? You know what they do with senior citizens?

When their eyes go bad, they lose their license. They have to get tested. My eyes are perfectly fine. When was the last time you got tested? Month ago. Month ago, okay. Yes. And there was a slight improvement.

How many fingers do I got holding up right now? Three. You got lucky. It was four, actually. See, I'm not giving you a hard time about it, man. So you should fucking just back off. How does that even compare to being a fucking raging alcoholic? Because I can still function in life, man.

I'm not an alcoholic. I just like to have a few drinks, and that's... You're just an arsehole. Well, whatever, man. Anyway, I'll talk to Ricky, since you're being a fucking dickface. All right, riddle me this. You're a mom. You got two identical twin baby boys.

Yeah. And all of a sudden you realize, I have no fucking twin baby boys. Yeah. And all of a sudden you realize, I have no fucking idea which one's which. Ooh, that's a problem. You know what she did? What? She called the police. What a dummy.

What an idiot. Well, they got it figured out. The fingerprint of the little fuckers. Mm. What a dumb, dumb mother. That's a good way to do it, but I mean... So, in Argentina, that's where this was, do they fingerprint every baby? I don't think so.

How the fuck do you fingerprint and solve it? Oh, they must fingerprint babies. They must. Yeah, I think they take their footprints and they take their fingerprints. I think it's more of a footprint, isn't it? I think that only happens when they die, doesn't it? Oh, man. I've seen, been to houses, well, dating chicks that had kids.

They'd have like a little fucking thing in their room, a little picture with the two little footprints, like with ink and their names and shit. I don't fuck. What do I fuck? I have no kids. I have no idea. Anyway, they figured it out.

But apparently it's a pretty common problem. When you think about it, it would be like, how the fuck do What do I fuck? I have no kids. I have no idea. Anyway, they figured it out. But apparently it's a pretty common problem. When you think about it, it would be like, how the fuck do you tell them apart? Well, usually there's a little bit of a difference, isn't there? They should tattoo them. They should put a little tattoo with their name on them or something. Well, a lot of parents would chime in saying you could put a bracelet, different bracelets on them. What the fuck is a bracelet? I see some... Fuck off, Randy! Hello?

Somebody's at the door, boys. Holy fuck, no way. Hey, fuck. Fuck, thank God you're home. Hey, man. Hey, fuck. What the fuck are you doing here? Terry, what's going on, buddy?

I'm never glad you guys are home. I just walked here from the fucking airplane, from the airport. Nice. You flew this time, huh? Yeah, it was my first fucking time on an airplane. How was it? Absolutely fucked. Sorry to like you,

I was really kind of messed up. I never took a plane before. I found out all these new fucking rules. You can't do shit. What did you do that they said you can't do that? Well, I had like my drinks ready to go on the plane, my vodka and a thing like that. And they're like, nope, you can't take any of that. Shampoos, creams, all that shit.

No liquids, no gels. Basically, they stripped me down. I'd take my shoes off. All I got is like a couple of shirts and... Oh, well, Julian has got lots of extra stuff. Oh, yeah? Sweet. Carry up with some underwear.

Extra clothes. He's got lots of cleaning products. He has a variety. Oh, yeah. Like I could use some shampoo. Do you got tail and cleaning products. He has a variety. Oh, yeah? Like, I could use some shampoo. Do you got tail and mane? You ever use that stuff? No, man. No, no, no.

Tail and mane's awesome. It's for horses and people. Okay. You ever heard of it? Tail and mane? He's got high end. Julian wears underwear like three sizes too small.

Really? So those would probably fit you. Oh, you like to be hugged down there, sort of a daily reminder? No, man. They're just shitting on me today. He wears these little,

tight little underwear, little speedo. Oh, wait, let's see. No, man. Come on, Sean. So what's up? Where are you doing? Where are you staying? I'm fucking thirsty.

Mind if I grab... Usually at motels, they got shampoos and soap. Yeah, no, I'm staying nowhere. I like, like, basically I came in because I... Help yourself. Yeah. I came in like my fucking, you know, I have a container. Yeah.

Container. Yeah. Well, it was in the courts for almost four years all right, and now it's like my uncle You know it's all settled, and I got my container back. That's why I got a container home Yeah, and that's why the flag here the estate said I got to fly so I got to take the plane I got my container so where'd you get that beer right out of the fridge? What kind of that says red strip? I didn't know you had red red stripes What kind is it? It says Red Strip.

I didn't know you had Red Stripe. When did you get those? I only bought them because the bottles are cool. That's like Jamaica beer. It reminds me of drinking when I was a kid when they had the Stubbies. I like the Stubbies. Cheers, boys. Great to fucking see you. Cheers. So what the fuck are you doing here, Tara?

Like I said, I don't really know a lot of people out here in Scotia except for you guys. That's all you need to know, man. Yeah, exactly. So, like, I fucking, after I met you guys, I told people, like, I met Ricky and Julian and Bubbles, and they were like, fuck off, no way. And then I kind of found out about you guys are, like, heroes here in Nova Scotia. Not really, man. We're just being jailed.

Well, just famous for being criminals. Right. That's all. We're more like Robin Hoods, you know what I'm saying? You want a chip? Fuck yeah. Hey, I. We're more like Robin Hoods. You know what I'm saying? You want a chip? Fuck yeah. Hey, I'm starving. Let's just have a chip, bud.

You woke me up. You want me to be Robin Hood, too? I could fucking help. There's heckery sticks, too. Those ones are good. They got the cheddar and the jalapeno. Actually, yeah, we could be making some money soon. So maybe you could help out.

Go on, why? Well, no, but I don't... Actually, I ain't never going back to jail, so fuck that. Well, that's the thing. Me either. Me either. Yeah, like, I I don't, actually, I ain't never going back to jail, so fuck that. Well, that's the thing. Me either. Me either. Yeah, like, I helped that lady who was having a baby, and I got stuck with you guys, so

I ain't doing that shit no more. I'm going to watch my back while I'm here. What was it like seeing a baby being born, man? Was it fucked up? Well, she was still, like, I don't know what it's called, crowning or whatever. That didn't quite happen. Crowning. Crowning.

What the fuck's crowning? When the crown of the head's, like, peeking out. Yeah, I didn't see that. It was just dilated or whatever, that didn't quite happen. Crowning. Crowning. What the fuck's crowning? When the crown of the head's still peeking out. Yeah, I didn't see that. It was just dilated or whatever. They were like, is she dilated? Is she dilated? And that's when the cops fucking grabbed me right before the crowning.

Was it like Alien, the movie Alien, where they're like... No. Did that, no? No, they wouldn't be like that. No. That would be funny if a baby, like, popped its hand out first, like,

hey, what's up? But scare the shit out of the doctor. But alien didn't come out of the vagina. No, it came out of the belly. Yeah, it's like a C-section thing. It's like an alien vagina, the belly is, sort of, maybe. More like a C-section. Nice.

So we're just making the thing here. Oh, hey, right on. Carry on. You're on it. I guess we should have told you. Oh, whatever. What else has been going on? Oh I guess we should have told you. Oh, whatever. What else has been going on? Oh, all the fucking flames got bumped out of the playoffs,

so I'm kind of upset about that. Yeah. Yeah, they did. Yeah. Just like two days. Two fucking close games and went to shootouts. I was cheering on my team. Now I'm kind of lost for what to focus on.

We'll go to Edmonton. You're not a fan of Edmonton, right? Calgarians are raised to hate Edmontonians. It's like in our blood. But Edmonton's doing good, aren't they? Yeah, well, I think McDavid got suspended or something like that. He's good, though.

It's always hard. Have you ever, once you lose a team, do you jump to another one? Are you loyal or fuck being loyal? I've had all kinds of... You're loyal, but you've got to do it. You've got to hope for somebody. I am the biggest fan of whatever team Loyal, like, can you just... You're loyal, but, you know, you got to do it. You got to hope for somebody. Yeah.

I am the biggest fan of whatever team is giving us free tickets in whatever city we're in. You know what? So is your mom. What a coincidence. Little clocky teams there, boys. Free ride on your mom, is that what you're saying? I'm your fan. She was the booster club for many teams over the years. Dirty fucker.

She was. Wow. All right, so what do we got on the go? Anything else we want to talk about? Well, there's a headline. I hate these little fuckers. Out of control squirrels are destroying Scottish homes. Oh.

They are fucking doing some shit like you wouldn't believe over there, man. Squirrels fuck up everybody's homes. Why does Scotland get this big fucking news? because it's fucking nuts like they're fucking eating they're eating the fucking foundations right out from under them and they're collapsing foundations yeah eating cabinets they're eating fucking skylight fucking frames some water's flooding them that's fucked up because usually in scotland you know when you say scotland people are like known for having like not the greatest fucking dental hygiene there. Yeah.

I don't know what fucking is, but... That's not true. That's a myth. Well, I don't know, man. What's some... Well, these squirrels are fucking, like, attacking people and everything. They're fucked. I got to go over there and take care of some business.

Doesn't people, like, have pellet cuts and shit there? You can wipe out a ton of them with pellets. That's a fucked-up rule, though. You can only kill a squirrel if it's inside the house. You can't kill a squirrel inside. Really? What is there, fucking squirrel fucking cops lurking around your neighborhood? Yes.

Squirrel cops. Fuck that, man. I would kill a squirrel in a second out there. They're called the SSC, Scottish Squirrels Cops. Wow. We're not talking about one squirrel in a house. We're talking like 15 squirrels per house. Oh, so they've got gangs of fucking squirrels in this.

Scottish squirrel gangs. Yeah. Yeah, like different squirrel gangs have different colors. Don't they do like a fucking thing like the old days? Like they used to pay like 15 cents for every gopher tail or whatever? Like because there's too many of them? Like a, what's it called? A call, you call them?

They used to do that, didn't they? Yeah, I was like, fuck. And the kids would just wait out the gopher hole with a noose and then snag them and helicopter them and then they'd lob the tail off and get fucking 15 cents. You used to rock around with that fucking hat with the big raccoon tail. It was something like that, right?

Who did? You did. You had a raccoon tail. No, I didn't. Huckleberry Finn, was it? Was that the name of that fucker? That was from Roadkill. What's that guy's name?

Cole. No, Davey. No. Davey Crockett. Yeah. Davey fucking Crockett. Just like the guy from Miami Vice, too. Miami Vice?

Yeah, Crockett. Crockett and Tubbs. Yeah. Crockett and Tubbs. I fucking love that show. They had a fucking Ferrari or Lamborghini? Yeah, man. Ferrari, yeah.

June pretends like he doesn't know that show i don't know what man i watched it maybe once twice in jail he used to not wear socks and fucking suits i didn't really you know sock wear i can't stand that that's disgusting i may have worn a blazer and had the sleeves rolled up but that was like back in high school man people who don't wear socks is so gross. It's like... No, you don't. You get your fucking shoes. All the young kids, they just wear like rolled up tight jeans and no socks

and fucking brown shoes. And those shoes smell like ass. I know. And even rich people too. I've seen rich people with no socks. I'm like, fuck you guys. No, you know what, boys? You think they have no socks, but you know what it is?

What? Now they make these little... Little slippers? Little slipper socks that are supposed to be hidden, but they actually have socks on. Really? And they're probably expensive as fuck, right? How'd you find that out?

Yeah, man. There's a company called InvisiSocks. InvisiSock? Yep. Fuck off. Smart company. It's wearing them back. They're making a ton, are they?

They are. Well, why don't we get some socks and fucking make our own Invisi socks? Guess what? Guess what? What? I'm wearing Invisi socks right now. Bullshit. What?

Let's have a look. Let me see your little... Where'd you get those? No, I got my boots on. It's silly that I'm even wearing them, because I could wear fucking ankle socks and you still wouldn't see them. Do they have Invisi underwear? You could invent them, Ricky.

It's called a G-string. It's like the minimum, right? The minimum requirement. Yeah, like Invisi G-string. To still restrain your unit. Dudes should not wear fucking G-strings. That's the number one rule. You don't like when you pick up a dude

and he has a G-string on, huh? What if his ass has been worked out since birth? What do you mean, worked out since birth what do you mean worked out I mean I don't understand what if he's been working on his

gluteus maximus oh like working out on his ass just like that who's that cowboy fucking guy that has in his underwear

in New York playing ever see that guy remember we were in New York and that guy was cruising around his underwear

cowboy boots you didn't see that he got arrested we were in New York and that guy was cruising around. Is that right? Cowboy boots. You didn't see that? He got arrested, by the way. I think that was just you, bud. No, he got arrested. He's famous. He's fucking famous. I'm telling you.

You were down fucking the East Village there, I think. The West Village. I don't even know what that means, man. This is fucked up. I was reading about a school in Valencia, Spain. Is that a real place? Mm-hmm. It's a school there, and they offer a class to students,

which is, in little quotes, basic course in professional prostitution with maximum discretion. What in the fuck kind of a course is that? They teach you how to be a hawker. Who's teaching it? Maximum discretion. That means, like like code words.

Like, oh, I'm lost. I'm looking for somewhere to directions. And it's like covert. It's like an undercover process. Yeah, maximum discretion. Wow. Yeah. Oh.

You know, when they say they speak Greek in the newspapers? Mm-hmm. That's code for something. What? It's code for what? Oh, it's Greek to me. It's fucking Greek to me. That's what that means. What? It's code for what? Oh, it's Greek to me. It's fucking Greek to me. That's what that means.

That means you don't know what they're saying. No. That's what you say, but you do know. Oh, really? That's something else. What do you mean? What is it, boss? I'm not going to tell you on this podcast.

It's like an Illuminati thing. I'm not going to tell you on this podcast. That'd be a good name. Maximum Discretion. How are you? Like for a band? Hi, Max. I'm Discretion. Let's get back to the a band? Hi, Max. I'm discretion.

Let's get back to the Greek thing. What the fuck do you mean? What do you think it means? I know what it means. What does it mean? I'm not saying it on this podcast. I am a gentleman. When you Greek something out?

No. Oh. What did the Greek, the Greeks, the ancient Greeks, what did they like to do? Fuck. Yes, man. But in which place? In the vomitorium, like where they huck. Oh, they had like massive orgies.

Yeah, but no, I mean, what part did they like to do it? Ass? Oh, it's Greek. Yeah, what? Greek means the ass bang. Are you kidding me? Yeah, if you're looking in the things, you know, when the ads are in the paper

and it says speaks Greek. That means he doesn't mean she speaks Greek. How did you find that out? Jesus Christ. What happened to you that you knew that? I was told that by a fella I ran into on the street in one of the cities in America. You're using maximum discretion right now.

I know it. I can tell. Maximum discretion. That's what I'm saying. That's probably what they teach in that course, Ricky. Wow. That's just an odd course. I don't know how, like...

Greek means ass-banging. Get the fuck out of here. Like, would it be a hands-on course? What? It's all Greek to me. Is this their course for Greek stuff? Is that what you're saying? No, there's a course for... to learn how to be a prostitute.

And speak Greece. No, and then it said to teach you maximum discretion. And I said, well, maybe they're using code words. And that was my segue into the code word talk. Greek. Speaks Greek. Because some people use codes, they just tap their nose at the right time, and you're supposed to know.

Like, oh, hey, do you have any more Snickers bars? And then you know. Because some people use codes they just like tap their nose at the right time and you're supposed to know like oh Hey, do you have any more Snickers bars? And they're like and then you know, but then sometimes and then you know what well Whatever you like if you know the discretion then you know what you're supposed to be what? Carol Burnett used to do the wiggle of the air at the end of the show. What does that fucking mean? Like probably I'm coming home. I'll be or whatever like I'm gonna take it in the back door I don't know. No, I don't think Carol Burnett meant that. Why would she say that at the end of every show? She did.

I've watched it. I've watched every fucking show. Yeah, she did it, but I don't think that meant I'm coming home, I'm on my way home, and I'm going to. Speak Greek. No, I don't think so. Oh, okay. Well, fuck.

All right. Carol Burnett was amazing. Fuck, am I ever learning a lot from you guys here. Holy shit. It's a lot, right? You get right, okay. Well, fuck. All right. Carol Burnett was amazing. Fuck, am I ever learning a lot from you guys here. She's hot today, too. Holy shit. It's a lot, right? You get right to it. I can't even, like, you're sizzling my noodle.

This is something we all need to know, especially me and you, Tara. Yeah? A fucking dude blew up a laundromat by accident just from leaving a lighter in his fucking pocket. Ooh. It blew up? It fucking destroyed this dryer. It blew the fucking windows right out of the place. The sign came off the wall.

It was fucking quite an explosion. Everybody fucking does that, though. Yeah, I don't even smoke, and I've done it. I've done it, and it never blew the fucking place up. Wow, that couldn't... That doesn't make any sense. It must have been a fucking big lighter or something. Yeah, that sounds...

Said it was a butane lighter, and it blew the fucking place. I'm going to have another one if you guys don't mind. Yeah, man, you can help yourself. How did you do this here? Like, all the propane dryer. Propane dryer. Propane-powered dryer. That might be it.

You don't want to be, if you're a smoker that likes to drink and get banged up every weekend, you shouldn't have a propane dryer. That's good advice right there. Advice for people out there, if't have a propane dryer. That's good advice right there. Advice for people out there, if you've got propane dryers. Try any more of those little stubby beers? Yeah, I think so. Well, here, you can have this one. There's a little light beer here.

You know, if you have that one, I'll have this one. No, no, I'll have the Bud Light. Okay. I do like the stubby bottle. Are you sure? Yeah, you've already got it on your list. You've got to see. I mean, I know it's over now, but for Easter over in the UK,

Subway had a fucking Cadbury cream egg sub. Oh, fucking. No, they didn't. They did. It was only at four different locations. They put cream eggs on a piece of white bread? There was 500 of them up for grabs. It was first come, first serve.

They were free. And it was, yeah, on white bread, six inch, Cadbury cream eggs. And it was a melt. They put first come, first served. They were free, and it was on white bread, six inch, Cadbury cream eggs, and it was a melt. They put it in the melter. Actually, it first sounds disgusting, but then it's like, you know, chocolate croissant? You know it's bread and chocolate? You know what? At first, I fucking wanted to vomit, and then I'm like, you know what?

It's probably fucking good. I bet you if you were baked, and it had cream eggs melted on a subway bun. You throw some fucking tomatoes and green peppers and lettuce and some sauce. No, you don cream eggs melted on a subway bun. You throw some fucking tomatoes and green peppers and lettuce and some sauce. No, you don't put anything on it, man. Just the fucking bread and chocolate. Then it's just a fucking cream egg

with a bun. Yeah, it's a croissant. Chocolate like the French. Like, you'd be like hard no on any greens. The French are fucked. You know that? I could say that

because you're French. Well, I'm just saying. I don't care if you're French. You can't say the French are fucked. Okay. A lot of things going on in France. Like France. The French.

The France French. You're French? You're kind of fucked up. They're not. Have you ever been to France? Nope. But I have... One of the greatest countries I've ever been to. Really?

France. Okay. Holy fuck, Terry. You ever been to France? Never. Like I said, my first time on a plane was today. Oh, right, right. Well, you could have went on a steamship.

Yeah, that's true. I'm going to Quebec. Is it the same thing? Nope. Boys, I'm telling you, you're walking around in Paris with the Eiffel Tower there at night, all lit up, and all these, you know, ladies going by. And you're just like, woo! No way.

Ladies are like, the hottest women in the world. Based on what you just said, I'm still not really wanting to go. Yeah, to me it just seems like people are maybe kind of rude because you talk English. No, they're not. They're very friendly to me. Did you ever get in a cab in fucking Montreal? Yes, I've done that.

They're much more rude in Montreal. They're rude there, man. They are. No, but I had a big Canadian flag on my chest, too. I think if you didn't have that. Do they like Canadians there? They do. All right.

What about Americans? Do they like Americans there? Nobody does. I don't think so. No? No, I saw some American fellas getting in a fight with some Frenchies. Who won? I can't remember.

It wasn't, I didn't see the whole fight, but there was like, you know. I wonder who got born on April the 14th. Loretta Lynn, bubs. Oh. Doesn't she make a good apple pie? Is that the one? No, Ricky, that's Sarah Lee. Stand by your man or something.

Is that her? Loretta Lynn? No, that's Tammy Wynette. Stand by your man or something. Is that her? Loretta Lynn? No, that's Tammy Wynette. Coal miner's daughter. Coal miner's daughter. That's it. It's her birthday today? It sure is.

Happy birthday, Loretta Lynn. Loretta Lynn. Frank Serpico. That's fucking undercover. Donnie Brasco. Frank Serpico, yes. Donnie Brasco. Pete Rose.

Did a little bit too much gambling still legends still should be in the fucking hall of fame it's bullshit yeah fucking not no he's gambling on his own teams man he can i started up the car who the fuck is driving the hot well no that's buddy in the taxi he's waiting for me i I was just checking in. All right. So, like... You're in a hot rod taxi? Yeah, you didn't ever... No, I'm lying. I don't know who that is. I was actually hoping maybe I could crash here tonight. I have a fucking clue.

Yeah, man. You can even have my bed. Serious? Just for the night or so, okay? Adrian Brody, Julian. Oh. Fuck him. Julian, you love him.

No, no, no, I don't love Adrian Brody. You like this next guy, fuck him. Julian, you love him. No, no, no, I don't love him. You like this next guy, Anderson Silva. Good fighter. Very good fighter. You like Anderson Silva and Anderson Cooper. There was a fight he had, though. He was not fucking fighting back much. It pissed me off because I paid a lot of money.

Well, I didn't pay money to watch, but I could have. That pissed me off. He was just like, eh. Sarah Michelle Gellar? Yeah. Sarah Michelle Gellar. That's hot. I don't know who that is. Hot. could have that pissed me off he was just like yeah sir michelle giller yeah sir michelle gillard hot oh that is hot she was the buffy the vampire person oh buffy saint marie no buffy the slayer of the vampire buffy saint marie and you guys are fucking me up slayer or buffy very nice we met buffy saint Marie. She was lovely.

Julian muckled right onto her. Muckled? Well, not muckled. The fuck is that? Julian wanted to date her. I had a little rap going with her. He thinks she was game. It was an uncomfortable hug.

You muckled her? Is that like a wizard move? Like from Harry Potter? She loved it, man. She was nice. What is a muckle? It was uncomfortably long. I didn't muckle on her.

I just said that she was very, very hot. And then he kissed her neck. I didn't kiss her neck. Like you're a creeper? Like a kind of creeper? No, I was 100% a gentleman. Gentleman kiss. And Julian's defense, he was very gentlemanly.

Exactly. I said you were very hot. I love you. And that's it. Nice to meet you. Drunk at 7.30 in the morning. That's when your undies gave you a little extra squeeze down there, hey? I was a little bit drunk that night, but she was very nice, very cool.

She was probably. You're hot. Yeah, she was hot. She was hot. All right. I like that. Okay. Okay.

Is that it? I think we're going to have to go to the liquor store, Terry, and light her up tonight. Let's crank it up. All right. You guys go to the liquor store. I'll see you guys later. I got shit to do. Burn down a farmer's field. You should come.. Let's crank it up. All right, you guys go to the liquor store. I'll see you guys later. I got shit to do. Burn down a farmer's field.

You should come. Last time we got right racked. Don't burn a fucking fire. No, boys, don't. That's not me. The grass is almost dry enough. You can't burn much right now. It's almost dry enough.

Oh, we could have a serious grass fire. All right, we're not going near those motherfuckers. All right. I'll do something. Liquor and fire. Come on, you guys. No, we're not burning any fucking fire. You guys need a night of ripping her.

I can just tell. April 14th. Oh, we should watch the movie. Which one? Friday the 14th. No, it's the 13th. No, today's the 14th. It's Friday the 14th.

I know, but the movie's Friday the 13th. No, the second one. Yeah, that's obviously when part two happens. I can't listen to these guys. I knew it. All right. I knew it was going to be a time where I just had to get the fuck away, Bob. April 14th, the day of the liquor and the fire.

Yo! Let's crank it up, man. Later. We'll see you. I'm coming for some clothes later, hopefully. No, you're not. Or a sleeping bag or whatever you got. Not happening.

Slip inside my sleeping bag. He does have tight undies. I can tell from here. I'm done. To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the SwearNet Trailer Park Boys app. Fuck off.