Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 49 - The Julian Experience

Episode Date: May 2, 2022

The Boys have gone through the weed wormhole and are baked as f**k! Before the f**kin' wheels come off, they chat about outhouse mishaps, weed lasagna, and whether Bubbles would marry a kitty! Also: Rent Julian for the night and get a bang for free!

this poor fucker this company had a fucking are we beginning he had a surprise birthday party for this dude and he had a panic attack and fucking just left the party got fired what a stupid idiot why why this This guy in Kentucky, they had a big party, surprise party for him, right? This company. And he got a panic attack and left. And then they fired him

for leaving because he spent so much money on this fucking bird. I don't know. A thing you just said. That was like a heard in, man. I know, man. Because it's spewing

fucking facts and shit. And I don't even know what he just said and you didn't even finish that. I don't even know what he just said, and you didn't even finish that. I don't even know what I just read, to tell you the truth. Because from what I gathered, you said some fucking guy, they were throwing a surprise party for him. He had a panic attack because he wasn't expecting it.

And he left and got fired. That's right. Okay. That's what I did. It's not a big deal. I'm just talking to you guys. It's not a great one, but okay. I'm just telling you guys because I'm...

I still can't wrap my head around what you're talking about. That's how fucking baked I am right now. No kidding. Well, I just... I started the show off like that because I'm baked. You know what I mean? So it's coming around full circle. Here we go.

Welcome to the D after the D. How can you function this high, Ricky? It's like a lifestyle. It's definitely a lifestyle. I can't get used to it, man. I think I'm, it took a long time, but I think I'm finally just a moon. I'm a moon. You're not getting as high as you used to.

The T-H-C. T-H-C. T-H-C. See, he started getting... These are the crazy edibles, man. It's the wavy waves. It's the waves. Yeah. I smile and wave.

Oh, fuck, man. Oh, boys, I got to drink myself sober. Drink myself down. Oh, man, this is a really shitty fucking story. Actually, I shouldn't have said shitty because it is... What is it? It's about... What?

This woman dropped her cell phone in an outhouse. She dropped her cell phone into the toilet? By accident, yeah. So she was using a dog leash to try to get it back and that wasn't working so she tied herself off with the dog leash

and reached in to get it and she went head first right into the fucking house. That is awesome. It's a shitty situation. Okay, how did that make it into the news? What do you mean?

But, I mean, you do that. Because she got stuck in there. she got stuck okay that's the part you did you left she did get her phone back and she was able to call my one from a shitty phone from her shit phone this is a it was at a national park in washington state oh just imagine face fucking head first into a big pile of shit and piss god yeah sign me up that you can't get out so yeah hey i'm out of i'm in stuck in a fucking outhouse in your national park covering shit and piss well you know what come get me at least it was that she had like fucking dropped an earring or something a diamond earring and went in. She wouldn't have a phone. So at least she dropped her phone into the fucking shitty toilet.

It must have been a shitty feeling when the dog leash let go. Fuck, I can't even imagine that, man. You'd have to vomit for sure. I would think so. Because she was in there for quite a while. And you'd be sitting thinking about all the different people that... There's stuff you're standing in. You know who could tolerate it?

Losko. Sam Losko could totally tolerate it. I heard, I don't know if this is true, but I heard Sam might be living in the sewers right now. Really? He is. That's what I heard the same thing. I didn't hear that. I heard that because I haven't seen him in a long time. I heard he's living in the sewers right now. Really? He is. That's what I heard the same thing. I didn't hear that. I heard that because I haven't seen him in a long time.

I heard he's living in the box. Well, he spent the winter in the sewer. That's what I heard because it's warm down there. Sewer rat. Sewer Sam, we're going to have to start calling him. Oh. I can see that happening, buds. Remember we had that other story about the outhouse

where the guy was, they caught him down inside? Taking pictures or videos. No, he's just in there looking, I don't know. Just being a creepy fuck. Just in there looking at it. Yeah, we got to stop talking about this. Yeah, it's tough, man. No more.

Make me want to gag a little bit. You should have saved that one for the end. Sorry. Next time I'll show you all my stuff. He's just waiting down there for it to go to dark. Because the hole gets sealed up with an arts, right? Once it goes dark, then he gets out his light. Did he have a light?

Yes, that's how he got caught. Somebody was having a shit and they noticed light coming up between the fucking legs. He would wait for it to go dark. because he'd get sealed in there, right? And then he'd pull out his little fucking light, see what he was dealing with. That's a weird fetish. What a weird fucker, man. All right, was he looking at guys' hand?

Everything. Everything, man. I think he liked the anticipation of the surprise. Do we got twagging berries? Yeah, we do. Or is the surprise of what's coming out? That's probably the just, that's the fucking yeah moment for him. I wonder which one he liked better.

I think the yeah moment was the stuff coming out. What do you mean? Oh, what's coming out? Extrusions, man. Is it going to be a number one or a number two? Or a bit of both? If he's inside that tank... Or a number three.

He's liking piss and shit, okay? There's no doubt about it. I know. And then when, you know, if you talk number twos, there was probably, you know, he probably had a whole system of what type of those he liked, too. Yeah, for sure. Solid or liquid. Did he like coilers?

Did he like explosions? Did he put his face underneath it and let it hit his face? Saucin' skins. We got to meet this guy. He's probably in jail. On the phone, maybe. I don't want to talk to this guy. He's probably in jail. On the phone, maybe. I don't want to talk to this guy. No, not in person.

I don't mean that. All right, let's switch gears here a little bit. All right, let's talk about some cat stories. Does that sound good? Yes. Whatever. Like the woman over in the UK that married her cat? I heard about her.

She kept getting... She would lose her apartment, and she couldn't find a new one because they weren't pet-friendly, so she had to rehome a few of her cats. She said, no, no more. She married her cat. Married, like, legally did that. Not sure how it's possible, but that's what it said. So now the landlord has to accept her and her cat into the property

because they're married. Don't you get a bang, though, to really fucking lock her in? You're supposed to on the night of the wedding, but I don't... I don't know how that works with cats. Let's hear what you think about this whole fucking thing. Well, I think it's cute to say I married my cat. Is it, though? Is it? Well...

Bubs, that's taking it too far. Maybe that's better. Adopt. Not legally go through it, but if you drew up a little thing and said, hey, I married my kitty. No, no, no, Puffs. That's fucking weird. How do you consummate the marriage?

You don't. There's none of that. But if somebody's got a little certificate, you know, joking around. But think about that. I'm going to marry my cat. Well, you know. No, no, no. no okay would you marry a cat i would print up a little certificate maybe say no you know what i said yeah it is pretty

it's really fucked yeah even i knew it i knew it was totally how do you choose well that's the thing but i mean it'd be funny maybe to get a picture taken where i got you know a tuxedo oh no there was a picture of their fucking marriage or their wedding oh they had a wedding and everything okay so you're just they're pretty done up you're just doing this for the cute factor yeah you would marry both male or female cats sure okay yes i'd marry you know ronnie thunder as quick as i'd marry. What was her fucking, what did she marry? A female or a male cat? I didn't look at it.

That's really the issue for you, is it? I didn't look at the equipment. I guess I should have. Well, I'm just saying, I just want to know if she did it for the same reason you would, as a cute thing. No, she did it to get her apartment. Yeah, so she's not fucking the cat then? No, I don't think so. All right.

The story didn't talk about them having sex. It was just about a fuck. You missed the whole part about her getting evicted out of her apartment. She married the cat. Now the landlord has to allow the cat because. I'm sorry. I fucking didn't get all the details. Like, I think it's just fucking.

Well, it was the only detail. It's weird, bubs. It's not the only detail. It was the only detail that he said. It's just weird. I hate her. I fucking do not like that woman. Because It's just weird. I hate her. I fucking do not like that woman. Because she's just pissing me off now.

Nobody said she married the cat and was banging it. Well, there was probably a little bit of necking after the wedding, I would think. I don't know what necking, but you know what I mean, like a little smooch. Is that cute? Or is that fucking weird? Everybody smooches their kitties a little bit. It depends what kind of a smooch. I kiss my cats on the head all the time.

You know, doing belly work, giving them dogs, whatever. But if you're sitting there fucking French kissing the cat, you got problems. You wouldn't. That'd be dangerous, man. Cats can bite like a motherfucker. Yes, they can. I've been bitten many times by kitties. And their tongues are sandpaper-ish. Yes. That's for drinking milk with.

Which might be good for some things, but... What things? No, if you're a lady. For what? What? I was just zoning out there for a second. Where do you... You don't want to know.

From your reaction, what? He's talking about their sandpaper tongues. And doing what? Might be good. For what? Well, what do you think? Because I asked him... I don't know what to think.

I asked him the same thing, and he said, well, if you're a lady. Well, just leave it at that and let your imagination run wild. So, looking lady parts. No. Is that what you're saying? That's not what kitty tongues are for. Kitty tongues are for lapping up milk from a lateral position. You tell this lady that's just married

her cat. Kitty tongues are for lapping up milk from a lateral position. Alright, I got another kitty story. This one's about One-Eyed Joe. You ever hear about him? I do know about One-Eyed Joe. Nice. Who the fuck is One-Eyed Joe?

Is that what you're waiting for? No, this cat was, well, it's a long, it's a complicated story. Long story short, they found him in a fucking shipping container in an offshore oil rig five years after he went missing. Yeah. So then they find out he's got a fucking microchip, which is pretty cool that you can do that. You should do that to people.

And his real name's Dexter. He went missing five years ago. Then he was a stray cat at this prison for like two years or something, and the prison was feeding him, and they nicknamed him One-Eyed Joe because he only had one fucking eye, I guess. And they have no idea how he ended up in a fucking shipping container

and made it to this prison. Or not a prison. Sorry, left the prison. Oil rig. Shipping container doing an oil rig. So five fucking years later he gets reunited

with his owner. That's pretty trippy. I was going to write a movie about him. He's like a cat explorer. Yeah, One-Eyed Joe. He's legendary. But you know what? one-eyed Joe, he's legendary. But you know what, your cat's gone for five

years, like, and then all of a sudden it's fucking handed back to you. You probably don't want it back to you. You're used to not having it. No, you want it back, Rick. You probably replaced it. Yeah. Just like in Castaway. But, this is a kitty, so you do want the kitty back.

So how far away was this cat? How far did he go? He had to be flown back in a fucking helicopter, so you do want the kitty back. So how far away was this cat? How far did he go? He had to be flown back in a fucking helicopter, so pretty far. Wow. Yeah. Then he got a helicopter ride out of the whole fucking deal. It's pretty cool. You know what?

I don't give a fuck about anything you said about that story at all, man. I kind of listened to it, but it was just boring out of the fucking gate, and I had to stop. I was just telling it for Bubz. I thought it was kind of cool. One-on-joke. I didn't care. I hated it. Maybe this was a better one.

Okay. This involves drugs, which you seem to like today. All right. Here we go. A Florida bride and caterer are arrested after pot lasagna sickens wedding guests. How'd it make them sick? Good question. They're a bunch of

fucking pussies in my opinion. It's like it's complaining. Oh no, I don't feel right. I feel weird. I feel like someone's drugged me.

I gotta call a fucking fuck office and ride away. Too bad I wasn't at an occasion where you have to celebrate and be happy. Jesus Christ.

Those people are fucked. Seven people went to the hospital to get treated for fucking poor little fucking babies. But you don't know how much they ingested. Doesn't matter.

You can't OD on it. It wasn't like they laced it with PCP. Ricky, if you've never done drugs and all of a sudden you have fucking a couple of hundred milligrams of THC in you... If you never have done drugs... You think you're having a stroke. They should find a fucking island and ship everybody who hasn't done drugs to that island. Exactly. Fucking lame pansies

Ricky people that have don't have never done smoked weed. Here's what I would do. Excuse me everybody You probably just ate a shit ton of weed. Here's what you got to do Grab some wine down it grab whatever booze you can fucking find his dirty the fucking dance floor. And then hit the dance floor, exactly. Laser lights will fucking be happening. And if you're at a wedding and all of a sudden you're not feeling right, you don't call 911. You just say, hey.

Yeah. Something going on here, guys? Oh, yeah. I feel happy. Put some pot in the fucking lasagna. Yeah. I feel like laughing and I might have to go to the hospital.

You guys are fucked. That's not how it works. Well, it could have been a little old lady who never did a drug in her life. Now she's got 400 milligrams I might have to go to the hospital. You guys are fucked. That's not how it works. Well, anyways, that's fun. It could have been a little old lady who never did a drug in her life. Now she's got 400 milligrams of THC in her, and she thinks she's having a stroke because she can't keep her fucking brain straight. Yeah, but now the fucking bride and caterer are arrested and probably going to jail.

Well, maybe they should. Yeah, that's fucked. They maybe should have announced it, I guess, it i guess but yeah it's a bit apart oh they get it on purpose yes i thought they accidentally put it in the lasagna oh no no well yeah i never had weed lasagna it sounds fucking good and the bread had weed in it too see you know they should have set it up a bit better they should add okay i thought they accidentally knocked a jar of thc into it no man no this is they should have bit better they should add okay I accidentally knocked a jar of THC into it no they should have did this they should have had the meal going and then

always you know dim the lights down and then fucking gradually throw some lights on right some fucking disco lights and the fucking just crank reggae music throw the Bob Marley on everyone would have eaten that fucking spaghetti happy as fuck try it it. Test it. We should test that. No, thank you. If I ever get married, that's what I'm doing, so be prepared, bubs. The Weed-O-Rama wedding.

The Weed-O-Rama wedding. Seven fucking people called. Had to go to the hospital. Remember? That happened here, remember? Yeah, that was PCP. It wasn't fucking weed. Yeah, that was different. What do you treat someone who did a bit of weed with? Well, it's nice to be at a hospital where they can just say,

oh, you're going to be fine. We got her under control. You're just, your brain's a little fucky. They can't give you anything. But, I mean, what were they feeling? I guess they must have got... Panic! Yeah, I guess a bit of anxiety.

They could have been just like, hey, I got some energy now. No, Ricky, you don't understand because you've ingested fucking mountains of fucking THC in your life. Yeah, it's fucking great, bubs. Well, and this is a similar story. It's about a school in Michigan. I think it was an elementary school

and parents were a little pissed off because one of the kids brought in some ready-to-drink Jose Cuervo margaritas for snack time. That is awesome. I guess like seven or eight of the little kids were drinking. And got drunk? Oh, probably feeling all right at that age. Ready-to-drink margaritas. See, that's a good idea.

I used to bring little port-a-bars into school, do you remember? Certain mix of drinks. Selling for like three, four bucks. Yes, I remember. That guy's nice. See, you need friends like that. It's pretty fucked that you can get away with that at school, though. Ready to drink margaritas for the kids.

Jesus, Murphy. Makes me kind of want one of those right now. I would love drink margaritas for the kids. Jesus, Murphy. Makes me kind of want one of those right now. I would love a margarita. I don't think I've ever had a margarita. Do we have anything to make margaritas with? Remember we made those margaritas that time? Oh, yeah. They were something else, weren't they?

What's in them? Margaritas? Tequila. Tequila. Or you can have a vodka margarita, very easily. Or rum. No, I'll take tequila. Well, a rum margarita is a daiquiri, basically.

Best way to drink tequila is those tequila poppers. Ever try those? The deep fried things? No, man. You put tequila into a shot glass, a little bit of water, put your hand over. A little bit of Sprite, isn't it? Or Sprite or water. You can't taste it anyway. You taste water. Well, then you water. Put your hand over. A little bit of Sprite, isn't it? Or Sprite or water. You can't taste it anyway.

You taste water. Well, then you watered it down too much. What's the point? No, man. That's terrible. Did you guys hear about the Red Wing Zamboni driver? No, man. He got fired for pissing in a drain.

What? A floor drain. Why? I don't know. It's a good question. That's fucking dumb. I'd sue them. It wasn't like his cock was out.

He was in between two Zambonis and he had to piss. He pissed in the floor drain. Another employee saw him. Who's got a problem with that? Was it a chick that saw him?

I don't know. Just another employee saw him. I can see if a woman came by and buddy had his cock and balls out. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, but here's the other thing to add to the story. He's got a benign prostatic hyper something or other,

which causes uncontrollable need to urinate. Wow. Buddy, is he taking them to court or what? He's going to sue them. He said, fuck you. Sue the fuck out of them. He's been with them for 51 fucking years. 51 years.

No, they were looking to get rid of them, man. That's what he said. Yeah. See? So they didn't have to give him a severance package. Totally. We're going to fire this motherfucker. So they used the little pissy clown.

Or not clown, but the little pissy incident. Incident. Where was this? Calgary? One of the first things I said was to hear about Detroit Red Wings. Oh, yeah, yeah. I didn't hear that part. I was just saying because we were just in Calgary,

I was going to try to link those together. He could be from Calgary, but he's definitely been in Detroit for 51 years at least. We don't care about any of that now. Done. Unless he just flies in for the games. Maybe he lives in Calgary. Well, he's just trying to link it together.

You don't need to. You don't need to. You don't need to link anything. Three or four times a week he flies to Detroit to drive the Zamboni. He didn't get his piss on. You have to be getting paid a lot to drive the Zamboni to keep up that pace.

Yep. Woo-hoo! What a time we're having. Yeah, it feels like we've been sitting here for hours That's the edibles It feels, honest to fuck, like I've been sitting here for three and a half hours How long's it been? Not long Really?

How long do you think? 19 minutes It's exactly 19 minutes There's no possible way i've only been sitting here 19 minutes since you started talking about whatever you know what that seems like a long time ago when you had that really boring thing oh i know and that's 45 minutes before i mean after i took the gummies that we got in calgary these gum gummies, they're pretty fucking crazy. They're potent. 19 minutes is all I've been sitting here for.

29. I must have went through a time warp. 20, man. I have to say that it does feel longer than that. I must have went through a wormhole. It does feel longer than that. Space time continuum. Are you talking about that outhouse?

That seems like hours ago. It was. Okay, good. You know what time it is now nope it's the amazing fact generator time all right when we were talking about the guy fucking pulling his light out and watching coilers come out when were we talking about that five minutes ago no it was more than that had to be two hours ago no man that was i can't even tell you how long ago anyway so do you have a little jingle for this or we need a jingle here we go goldfish can distinguish the music of one composer from another

a goldfish how do they have a little button they pressed don't know yeah how do they know they've distinguished it probably that's some scientific fucking way of figuring it out, I guess, bubs. I don't know, man. Or does the fish come up like this, right? Come up and he sticks his head out of the water and goes, Mozart! Here's another one. What?

Crayola. You know the crayons? No. Very well. I have a letter written to me from them. Crayola came from the words oily chalk. Crayola. Crayola. What? I don't know. letter written to me from them came from the words oily chalk crayola i don't know don't know ola must be oil and cray must be chalk

chalk oil you know what i think that's a question nintendo was founded in 1889 all right 1889 fucking 89 that was a big year for gaming what do they fucking? It's a cornhole. No. Cornholes? No, man. Nintendo in 1889 sold gold coins that you could bash your head with. Oh, man. It must have been some kind of a game. Mushroom. You're right. You're right.

It's some kind of a game because they continued on with making games. This is like 1889. That's why I went for cornhole, but I guess not. Well, it was a game in Japan, obviously. Guys. In 1889. It's a game. Yeah, but they were a Japanese corporation.

Or you can play games with these. Kickballs. Oh, fuck. God damn it, just give us the answer. Baseball bats. Pulling cards. A deck of fucking cards. Nintendo invented fucking playing cards. They didn't invent them,. A deck of fucking cards. Nintendo invented fucking

playing cards. They didn't invent them, I don't think. That's what they fucking specialized in. Japanese playing cards. And they sold a lot of them. Wow. Would never have guessed that. How did they go from a playing card to the console? Super Mario. What?

Didn't you ask who? No, I didn't ask any questions, man. I thought you just said who was the main guy on Nintendo. I think I said this one before. Here's another fact. Did you say that? I don't think anybody did, man. I must have got asked in bed.

China owns all the fucking pandas in the world. I know that. Yes. You know how much they rent those motherfuckers out for? A lot. Oh, I didn't know they were rented. A lot. Because I've seen one at a zoo.

Yeah, but he's on rent. Really? He's a rental dealer. That's a fucking good business. They got a good business going, man. A million bucks. A million bucks for how long? Not a day.

Fuck, I flipped it. I don't know. I can't go back. But a million bucks. A million bucks a year, I think. Jesus Christ. Probably a year. Panda bear.

Wow. I wish we had something we could rent out. Maybe we do. Maybe we should try to own all the cats in the world. I wish we had something we could rent out. We do, Randy. All kinds of stuff. You could rent this table to somebody without a table.

I wish we could rent that guy. Oh, me too. Rent me a... Oh, man. A fucking goldmine. Don't that guy me anything. Goldmine. We would be wealthy.

Rent him out. Fuck. Anything goes. Five grand. Rent out his mouth. Rent out his arse. No, man. I'm trying to read something.

You're fucking me up. Okay. What do you think you could get for two minutes just rubbing the oil that much? Some people would pay. A hundred bucks, probably. Yeah? Well, 50. 50 an hour.

I bet you'd get 50 just for like a bear hug. 50 an hour. Our boys can stop talking about renting me out, 50. 50 an hour. I bet you'd get 50 just for, like, a bear hug. 50 an hour. Boys can stop talking about renting me out, man. What if you rented out... Maybe you could rent out the Julian experience. It's too bad you couldn't milk his muscles or something. Just drink some muscle juice. You could.

All right. Here's the experience. Julian picks you up at your house in the monte carlo do you get dinner or anything takes you to dinner takes you to a movie oh wow that's something long does some sweet sweet julian love making to you male or female and then drops you back off at your house at the end of the night. And it's called the Julian experience. I would do that, man. If I could make money, I would do it.

Not mail. It's not the mail part. But I would take chicks out. And it's fun going on dates sometimes. I guess that's just you as a male prostitute, really. Pretty much. What I just described. An escort.

Yeah. Why don't you become an escort? Oh, man. Julian Gigolo. JJ. I would do it, but this is the way it would have to go. You got to pay me and I'll go out and wine and dine you and show you a good time, take you to a movie, whatever. But if things are good and you end up banging, you're not paying for the banging.

You're paying for the first part of the night. Oh, so the banging's like a little freebie. The banging's like, I get along with you. We connect. We are banging. But I'm not paying. You're not paying to bang me. What the fuck are we talking about, boys?

Stop talking about it, man. I love it. According to the Oxford fucking dictionary, man, the most fucking commonly misspelled word is what? What is it? Tomorrow. Publicly. Publicly?

Yeah. That's easy. I know. Okay, how do you spell it? Publicly. Yeah. It's easy. I know.

Okay, how do you spell it? P-U-B-L-I-C-L-Y. All right, he did it. This is fucked. If he can do that. I did that? I'm Ricky. You're wrong. You know what?

There's a lot of dumb people out there. A lot. Tomorrow I always get the trouble with. The what? Well, it's the two Ms and the two Rs. Tomorrow I get the trouble with. The what? Well, it's the two Ms and the two Rs. Tomorrow I get the trouble with. He didn't finish his sentence, man. Jesus Christ.

Turned into Yoda. Totally. Tomorrow I get the trouble with. That was like Yoda. Wow. All right. Tomorrow I get to travel with. I told you I spelled the word right.

I can't either. That was a big word. What was a big word? Did you spell tomorrow? You didn't spell it. You spelled publicly. You know what? This fucking fact thing is even getting crazier, man.

Trained pigeons can differentiate between the paintings of Picasso and Monet. How the fuck does that happen? Yeah, that's bullseye. I can't even do that. How the fuck do you do that? How do fuck does that happen? Yeah, that's bullshit. I can't even do that. How the fuck do you do that? How do you figure that out? And I guarantee it. I'm calling bullshit.

How do the fucking pigeons know? All right, let's see if anybody got born at the school today. Let's get the fuck out of here. Please, tell us. I need a prefabricated. Margarita. Fuck. You, um...

Holy fuck, we're going to be playing some Willie Nelson tonight. It's his birthday. Yes. On the road again. Just can't wait to get on the road again. Taylor and Hurt. Maybe I'll never love you. Jerome Seinfeld. I didn't know his name was Jerome.

Yeah, Jerry. Well, I knew Jerry. I didn't know it came from Jerome. Where did you think it came from? I thought it was just a straight up Jerry. No, Jerome is Jerry's full name. Daniel Day-Lewis. Holy fuck, Julian. What? What was that about?

Daniel Day-Lewis. I know. What about him? He's a good actor. Yeah, no kidding. Michelle Pfeiffer. What the fuck was that movie? Tequila Sunrise?

Is that a movie? Yeah, it was. Was she in that? I hope so. I mean, she is. Was she in that? I hope so. Me too. Pfeiffer. Mike Babcock. Okay.

You should have changed that B to a D. Babcock. Yeah. Oh, I thought you meant dabcock. Cujo. Could you do a dab like that? No And Uma Thurman Oh, what was that movie?

Uma Thurman? Yes He was in Pulp Fiction Oh, I know that No, that other one Kill Bill? The old timey one What old timey?

Julian showed me a movie with her in it It was an old timey movie And she was good in that one. What was the old-timey movie? I don't have a fucking clue what he's talking about. Was it like Brad Pitt in it, too, or somebody like that? What does old-timey mean? It took a place in the old times.

Like, you know, 1700s, maybe. Oh, Dangerous Liaisons? That could have been it. Was she in that could have been it was she in that no it was the other guy that was John yes yes

he was great in that movie Dangerous Liaisons yes oh my god that's a classic old timey movie old timey it was an old timey movie

John Malkovich one of the greatest actors to ever grace the screens I like that movie becoming John Malkovich, one of the greatest actors to ever grace the screens. I like that movie, Becoming John Malkovich, too. Or Being John Malkovich. Being John Malkovich. You know who John Malkovich reminds me of? Nope. Mr. Leahy. Mr. Leahy.

He's a lot like Mr. Leahy. Yeah, you're right. They had a similar look in their eyes. Crazy look in their eye. Alright, gentlemen. Let's go to the liquor store and get some Willie Nelson to drink. Let's get some margaritas

prefabricated. Yes. I'll get out my Willie Nelson. Okay. Vinyl. And we'll do up the fucking ad

to get Julian rented out to be a gigolo. We'll watch one episode of Seinfeld and maybe Pulp Fiction. Julian the jagalaw. At first he was like, shut the fuck up and rent me out.

And then at the end he's like, oh yeah, I'd do that. I'd even throw in a bang for free. Well, the bang isn't for free. The bang is like off-duty time shit. You know what I mean? Okay. I'm not a male prostitute. I mean, I don't want to be a male prostitute. Sounds like you're a male escort, though.

Tune in next week and we'll have the website up where you can rent that hunk of fuck meat right there. Thank you! Let's go! To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the SwearNet Trailer Park Boys app. Fuck off.