Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 5 - I'm Free, Freefallin'

Episode Date: June 26, 2023

The Boys are back from Niagara Falls, and back in f**kin' jail! Today's chat is all about DANGER - riding the Falls, jumping out of aircraft, and appearing on Naked And Afraid. Also: Boxy Boxhead strikes again... and again, and again!

All right, you ready for this? No. I didn't think we'd be coming back here, but... No kidding. We're back here. We're back, and I hope you do get some sleep soon. I told you we were coming back. I know, but you've got to get some sleep.

You're fucked. I can't sleep in here. You've got to try. I can't. Since June the fucking 23 already. It's nuts. It's officially summer now. You know what?

We've got to talk about Niagara Falls again. We do. You didn't check Niagara Falls, which is fucking amazing. I thought for sure, man. It's kind of a week late to be talking about it because when we're in Niagara Falls, we. We do. You didn't jump over the falls, which is fucking amazing. I thought for sure, man. It's kind of a week late to be talking about it because when we're in Niagara Falls, we shot Dark After Dark that aired last week.

Yeah. But anyway, Niagara Falls was fucking awesome. Crazy response. The craziest morning I could say ever. Drunk in time. I didn't realize how much of a fucking party getaway that place is. It's amazing. Number one place for like, heine moons and shit, but a number one place to get fucking drunk in my books.

And the waterfalls are big. They're fucking huge, man. I told you. You would not survive if you went over that. When I wanted to go over them, when you see them in person, you're like, no, this may not be a good idea. This might end in death. Yeah, it might. You will die. I would go over it in a car.

Well, that's like... No, man, no. That's the worst fucking thing you could be in to go over the waterfalls, man. Not a car. What car? What car? Well, if somebody just died...

A lot of people had died. They were in a kayak in a fucking sea or something. People have gone over it in, like, shockproof canisters just died. A lot of people had died. They were in a kayak in a fucking sea or something. People have gone over it in, like, shockproof canisters and died. Yeah. I'm going to rethink the whole going over the falls thing. But we, oh, yeah, we got the key to the fucking town by the mayor. He gave us the key to the fucking city. He was a nice fella. No, he didn't.

No, the key lime pie thing. That was a key lime pie. That's not the key to the city. Well, it's the same. That's what it was like, man. It's supposed to be the key, but thing. That was a key lime pie. That's not the key to the city. Well, it's the same. That's what it was like, man. It's supposed to be the key, but he was trying to be funny. And he gave us the key lime. It's just a pain in the ass. And where's the pie now? We ate it.

Exactly. So there's no evidence. It sucks to carry it around all night just in case you get pulled over by the cops. And go, well, I got the key to the city, bud. It's a pain in the ass. I thought we were going to get like a key. It was a good fucking pie. I've never had key lime pie.

I was a good man. Anyway, he was a super nice fella, and we had a good time. And they lit up the falls for us in green. Is that because of the dope, or is that mental health? No, mental health awareness. But it's also for fucking dope, man. Also for dope, yes.

Mental health awareness is why they chose the green. Well, they did green for that, and they did red and white. He said red and white and black lights. I was like, what's a black light look like? Did he say that? One of them did, not the mayor. The other guy said, yeah, we're going to light the falls up with red and white and black lights. Fucking lights.

Doesn't that make everything glow? No, a black light is like a purple, you know, UV thing that you can see. That would be cool. Body secretions with. But he said like, he meant like a black light, like they're going to shine black onto the falls. That's fucked, man. Mm-hmm. All right, so maybe it's good that we're in jail for a little bit. Relax.

I can't stop yawning, boys. I need a sugar bomb. You've been sleeping. Watch what the fuck's going on, man. No, it's not taken. No, it's because it's in jail. Jail sleep's not the same. Jail sleep's different, man. Sleep with one eye open Gripping your pillow tight That's what it's like, isn't it? Yes.

I sleep with two eyes open, wide open. I put toothpicks in them. Does it hurt? It does. You got that from Fred Flintstones, didn't you? Remember that episode? What? Fred was trying to stay up.

No, he had one in Bernie's earth, didn't he? Fred and Bernie's holos. That was a different episode, man. Different show, actually. It's the Fred, Freddy Does Bernie. Yeah, that was a pornhub, man. That was just weird. Freddy Does Bernie.

It's like Debbie does Dallas, but it's Freddy does Bernie. Oh, fuck, we did end up meeting some scary individuals when we were away. Freddy Krueger, Jason. Freddy Krueger wasn't there. No? No? If he wasn't, I didn't meet him. One ugly-looking motherfucker, then. No, Freddy Krueger is't there. No? Look, I was... If he was, I didn't meet him. One ugly-looking motherfucker, then.

No, Freddy Krueger is... What's his name? Wes Anderson. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, the Jason dude. Wes Craven. He was a pretty intense fella. Yeah, was he the real Jason?

He was the deal, man. And it seemed like he really did want to fucking stab people to death. But he was a bizarre dude. Wanted to do some shots with me. Oh, and we met Napoleon Dynamite. Yeah. That was good. And Pedro, together. And Pedro.

We met Pedro before, but to meet both those guys would be fucking... Hey, we invited him to Sunnyvale. Wouldn't that be awesome? Yeah. We met little Henry. Henry Winkler? Thomas. Yes, Henry Thomas, E.T. You gotta send me some pics, bubs. Yes, Henry Thomas, E.T. You gotta send me some pics, bubs.

Yes, I have the pics. Yeah, the guy that played Elliot in E.T. He was a nice fella. He looks the exact same, just older. Who was the fella I was gonna fight? Um, Rick Vive. No, no, Rick was awesome. Rick Vive, you kept calling him Rick Valve. Wendell Clark.

Wendell Clark was there. Wendell Clark was there. Wendell Clark, yeah. Fucking awesome dude. Leatherface, I was going to fight him. Oh, Leatherface. Oh, fuck, that guy's a gong show, man. He's a fucking... He's a certified fucking maniac.

He's crazy. Like, for real. He's even worse than the fucking teen so I'm actually passing your dad the movie. That guy's a fucking nightmare. It's probably based on his life or something. Because, man... He would have... See, I didn't get to see him much.

What was he doing that was crazy? I think I fell asleep. All right, he was pretty drunk. He would totally give Leahy a run for his money. Imagine Leahy being at his drunkest with that guy. They'd be good friends, I bet. Yeah. He gets a little drunk, does he?

He likes to... Oh, I met the drummer from the Go-Go's in the elevator. Hot. She's the drummer from the Go-Go's in the elevator. Hot. She's the drummer from the Go-Go's. That's pretty cool. And I met the drummer... Well, we also met the drummer from the Tom Petty days.

Yes. Oh, yeah, right. Very good deal. He also played drums for George Harrison, just so you know. So when you're tired in jail right now, you just remember the fucking fun we had, man, and the memories we made. We did make some memories.

At Niagara Falls. Made some memories at Niagara Falls. All right. What's the commercial with the water park there with the dolphins and whatnot? SeaWorld? No, the one, isn't the dolphins and whatnot. SeaWorld? No, the one, isn't the one in Niagara Falls? Marine Land?

Marine Land, is that still there? Hopefully they got rid of that. They took a lot of shit. Hopefully they close that down and they stop torturing the animals. Whale dock, he moved. Yeah, I don't think it's, I don't know if that's up and running, man.

If they do, maybe it's just, I don't know, a place to swim now. Right. Who fucking knows, man, I don't think it's, I don't know if that's up and running, man. If they do, maybe it's just, I don't know, a place to swim now. Right. Who fucking knows, man? I don't care right now. Rainland. So this family's having a get-together in Florida. Yeah.

And like you would think would happen, a fucking big fight breaks out. So one of the family members steps in to break up the fight. And one of the people fighting bit him on the thigh. A few days later, he's like like this is fucking getting worse and worse is hurting like fuck What's the hospital? flesh-eating disease Dirty mouth motherfucking chomping dick fuck I was who'd hit him he bit who the house family matters bit bit him on the fly

Man, yeah, the mouth is fucking dirty, man. Especially your mother's. It was the dirtiest, dirtiest mouth in town, by the way. This fleshing disease is fucking bad. I didn't realize, like, ugh, it's gross. The doctors said he made a little slit and all this gray matter, possibly dead shit came out. He basically rot from the inside out.

Yeah. Was it a dude or a chick that had the fucking shitty mouth? Didn't say it. It said a family member. But they had to cut like 70% of the guy's flesh off his thigh. Oh, fuck. And save his leg. Jesus.

So imagine if these people had, you know, if this person, the biter, was getting into, you know, intimate with somebody and they're doing some foreplay and shit, fleshy disease, he's capable of much worse than the thigh action. Well, it needs to get into your bloodstream. It needs to get, yeah, underneath your skin. But if there's a little nimble or something, you know what I mean? Yeah.

I mean, I know, I remember a guy, he just got a little cut on his leg on his dock. You know, when he was water skiing, he was getting in the water and he just got a little, little tiny slice, but it was some kind of dirty fucking meat something on the dock got in him and fucking whole leg gone. Fuck. Whole leg gone. Two days later they chopped his leg off because they couldn't get it under control. Well, he wasn't even going to go to the hospital.

And they said if you didn't get him to the hospital today, your leg would be fucking gone. And he said if it goes up your abdomen, you're fucked. Flesh eating disease, huh? Fuck. Pretty common, is it? It's more common than you think. It's more common, yeah. That's what it sounds like.

It's fucking gross. Just from a dirty mouth. I'd fucking kill that family member. Yeah. Like, you a dirty mouth. I'd fucking kill that family member. Yeah. You fucking dirty mouth little fuck. Your mother has a variation of the flesh-eating disease. Okay, what is it? No, I'm not going to say it.

Okay. I'm just saying, who's going to want to kiss that motherfucker, that flesh-eating disease motherfucker? Definitely not me. He's probably brushed his teeth since then and got it under control. Is it a simple teeth brush that he'll get rid of and maybe make flaws? I think so. A little Listerine or something?

Listerine? Turpentine maybe? Listerine. This is a fucking funny one. This man breaks into a Ford supermarket wearing a cardboard box. Sound familiar? Probably saw it on our fucking show. Yeah. But Dumb Dumb decides,

oh, this worked really well. So he decided he was gonna rob the store three times in one night, same store. Where the box owner's at. Yeah. And on the third time, he was getting some cell phones, and when he turned around, he hit a fucking rack and knocked the box off. His face is right on camera.

So he totally did it because he saw you do that. I mean, you did it. It worked. I think I robbed a liquor store, didn't I? We robbed a liquor store. Bobby Boxhead. Bobby Boxhead. You did it, and you did it the right way.

So, I mean, he did make it look easy. We didn't fucking rob it three times in one night, though. Yeah, that guy's just stupid, man. It's pretty talky. Greedy. Fucking greedy bastard. You can't get greedy when you're pulling off like an armed robber. You're in there, oh, this is so fucking easy. No one knows who I am.

Get the fuck off your head. Go to like a different location maybe. Different province or whatever, man. Yeah, I think that's his main problem. He should have had a chin strap. He should have had a chin strap. You're right, man. Or he shouldn't have been robbing the store.

There's another way to look at it. Yeah, but fuck. Man's gotta eat. Speaking of eating, man, the dude, the director for The Night of the Living Dead, George Romero. Yeah. Romero.

George who? He got his start making short films for Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. Can you imagine that? Who did? Who's he going to work for? Who did? George Romero.

Romero, man. But what did he direct? Night of the Living Dead. Oh, really? He did a lot of those fucking horrible things. Talks a little bit like some flesh-eating shit, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. But he started out shooting Mr. Rogers.

Mr. Rogers shit. Imagine working for Mr. Rogers. You'd want to get high every day, number one. Let's go fucking get high. Mr. Rogers was fucking blasted for sure. No, he wasn't, boys. You don't think he was high? Mr. Rogers did not smoke dope, boys.

Did he drink? No. How do you know? He's Mr. fucking Rogers. He was on LSD then or something. There's no way you fucking do that. I don't know if he was on LSD, man. Mr. Rogers was not on LSD then or something. There's no way you fucking do that short streak. I don't know if he was on LSD, man. Rogers was not on LSD.

Don't think he was on LSD, man. It would have been amazing if he was. I think if you watch the show while you're on LSD, it makes sense. There's all kinds of hidden messages maybe. Maybe not. Holy fuck. Fergie. You know Fergie. Yeah. Yes. Hot.

Back in the 80s. Charlie Brown's kid sister. She voiced it. Back in the 80s. Really? Who the fuck is Charlie Brown's kid sister? I didn't know he had a kid sister. Yeah. What's your name? I thought it was Lucy. Sally, wasn't it? Sally a kid sister. Yeah. What's your name?

I thought it was Lucy. Sally, wasn't it? Sally? Oh, maybe you're right. Wasn't Sally his kid sister? Sally's hot in real life. What? Sally. Fergie was the voice of Sally.

Oh. I know. I'm gonna have to rewatch some episodes. Yeah, Charlie Brown. He was one stupid bastard, wasn't he? He was fucked. He was always pulled out. He was just a fucking loser, man.

Just a narrow bastard. Always pulled that football out on him, and he'd try to kick it every time, right on his back. Remember Pigpen? He was a dirty bastard. He was a dirty bastard. Probably got a fleshy disease from him. You would get it if Pigpen bit you.

Imagine if Pigpen bit a chunk out of you. You would have flesh-eating disease. I'm gonna fuck those. Would you rather roll the dice and have Snoopy take a bite out of you or Pigpen? Snoopy, man. Dog's mouth is clean. Well, it's not. So when they just finished licking their arses and they're nuts. And they eat cat turds out of the fucking letterbox. And they eat cat turds out of the...

They think they're snacks. They got clean mouths, though, man. Fucking stupid animals eating my cat turds, thinking they're treats. This California family was cleaning out this old house from their stepfather, found one million pennies. It's a weird thing to fucking find. A million pennies. How much a weird thing to fucking find.

A million pennies. How much money is that? Not much. Ten grand. Ten grand in pennies? But they're old, old pennies, so they're actually still made of copper, so they're probably worth, like, more for the copper.

Melt those motherfuckers down. They're trying to sell them for 25 grand. But it's a pain. Like, they can't take them to the bank because banks won't take them. There's too many fucking pennies. And they weigh, like, a motherfucking ton of weight. Where did they find them? In a fucking crawl space. They're down there, hands and knees, crawling with these fucking million pennies.

In bank- in actual bank bags. Why? What a fucking stupid thing to collect, man. Well, back then- And you owe a penny a day, and fucking your entire to collect, man. Well, back then, people had a penny a day and fucking your entire rich. Nope. Nope, you'd fucking die and your pennies are in a crawl space. Although 10 grand 50 years ago

was probably quite a bit of money. That was a lot of money 50 years ago, man. Probably like 100 grand. Did you hear about those poor fuckers, man? They were in the Cessna airplane, crashed in the Amazon. That's an incredible story. Wow. Four kids, man. Young were in the Cessna airplane. Crashed in the Amazon. That's an incredible story. Wow.

Four kids, man. Youngest being one. Oldest 13, I think. Yeah, exactly. Actually, the youngest turned one while they were in the jungle. 40 fucking days. 40 days they survived. Mother.

Four kids. Had to watch their mother die in front of them, which is bad enough because she's sitting there hanging out. Mother was dying. She said, you kids, you saved yourselves. And they fucking did. 40 days in the jungle. Well, that's gonna be a movie, isn't it? Snakes. Let's write it.

Let's see if we can write a movie. If I was... Wait. Was it just kids in the jungle? Just kids. Just kids. Four of them. And they had a fucking huge search and rescue team out after them. But, you know. So they had to fucking huge search and rescue team out after them, but you know.

So they had to eat and drink for 40 fucking days off the jungle shit. But I guess none of the kids knew what plants to eat and stuff. How old were they? They were in the fucking jungle, not the desert. The oldest kid was 13. I think there was like an eight or nine year old. And then like a five or six year old. And then a one year old. A one year old. They kept them alive. I don't know how the fuck the one-year-old survived.

It's not like either one of them are breastfeeding. Oh, you feed the one-year-old bugs, man. Here, chomp on these fucking... He doesn't know what the fuck. He's one. I guess. Not stuck in his mouth. He'd be the easy one.

Yeah, I guess. They probably were feeding him bugs. Lived long off of bugs, man. And they would get water. That would be very important. Like I said, they're going to, like I said, they're going to crash anywhere except for this poisonous fucking...

Snakes and whatnot. That would have been me. I would have probably been dead within an hour. I don't... You know what? No, man. I think you'd have... An hour.

I think you'd be... If anybody could survive, it would be you, man. Maybe not an hour. You'd be eating all kinds of weird shit, man. I don't know. Maybe. Well, don't they got that frog? I hope it never happens. You'd be eating all kinds of this weird shit, man. I don't know. Maybe. Well, don't they got that frog thing? You'd be licking frogs. That's what you'd do.

I'd be rolling shit up and smoking it and fucking dying. Rolling up jungle leaves and smoking them. Just to see what would happen. We should go down to Amazon, just, like, for a week. See if we can do a week. No! Man. I bet you someone would pay us, like, a hundred grand to go spend, like, just like for a week. See if we can do a week. No, man. I bet you someone would pay us like 100 grand

to go spend like two weeks on a- That's crazy shit, Amazon, man. We should do Naked and Afraid together. Why don't you and Randy can go down there together and do that, we'll fucking get the piece done. Let's do Naked and Afraid, boys. Together? Oh, four of you.

Yeah, three of us will get dropped off in the fucking Sahara Desert nude. The Sahara Desert? Yeah. Jesus, man, no fucking way. I mean, we might as well take it up a notch if you're talking about going to the Amazon. Let's play for real. This is... Let's get you stripped down.

What if you had, like, imagine a burnt knob for fucking a two-week straight. Come on. I've had a burnt knob for two weeks straight. When did that happen? When I was welding the car at that time and I set the torch down. You burnt your knob? Yes.

I'm talking about sunstroke on your knob. Sunstroke on your knob? Well, you know what I mean. Ah, fuck no, we're not doing that. All right. Do you wanna to hear some crazy fucking people that survived Crazy Falls with no parachute? Oh, fuck. We met that one guy that did that.

Bigger fella. Julianne Coppick. 10,000 feet. 10,000? Yeah. She was flying on a flight. Plane got hit by lightning, broke a parrot. She was still strapped to her seat. The way she lay in the jungle,

crashing all these little canopies and shit. Oh, fuck, yeah, man. That's like a Rambo move. Survived. Broken collarbone. Concussion. Everyone else in the plane, dead. Wow, and she rolled her seat down?

Yeah, 10,000 feet. What a fucking ride that would be. That would have been a fuck. I can't imagine. Was she unconscious the whole time? Just go, what? No. No?

No. She just woke up. She was in a chair. In her seat in the jungle. Yeah. You imagine you're flying along, enjoying your movie, having your snack, and then you wake up in the jungle in your seat. And everyone else is dead.

That would be awesome. Well, that would suck. That would suck. Guess who else? Vera Grylls. That would be awesome. Well, that would suck. Guess who else? Who? Bear Grylls. Didn't know this. Are you fucking kidding me? 16,000 feet.

Parachute didn't open. 16,000? Yeah. That's high. And then he was gonna deploy his backup, but he was... What'd you say that's hot? High. Oh.

He was spinning and couldn't get his fucking backup to deploy. He ended up landing on his back on the fucking backup chute. Shattered three vertebrae and that was it. What did he hit though? Jesus. Just the ground. Just the ground. But the impact was his chute was back there.

Must have been soft ground or something. That's like a fucking pillow man. He's pretty fucking lucky. He's like a superhero man, that guy. That's quite an impact at 16,000 feet. You're going what, terminal velocities, how fast? I don't even know what that is. Did he have any shoot dangling out?

150 miles an hour or something. Did he have any kind of shoot dangling to slow him down? Oh, his original one must have, yeah. Must have helped a bit. Must have slowed him down a bit, because if you can't hit the ground going terminal velocity, he'll explode like a grape. That's what it said, your heart's supposed to stop on impact.

I would think so. Nicholas Elke made 18,000 feet. He was a tail gunner. His fucking plane broke apart. He fell out of it. Landed on some fluffy pine trees and some deep snow. Broke his fucking... sprained his ankle. That was it. What?

That's insane, from 18,000 feet. Fuck. Oh, man. Shot out of the back of a fucking airplane while he was in a war. Tail gunner. Alan McGee, another tail gunner. His plane came apart, shredded his parachute,

crashed through a glass window at a railway in France. But he was pretty fucked up. And he had 28 shrapnel wounds, broken nose, collapsed lungs, lost an eye, kidney was fucked, broke both of his arms, broke both of his legs. But he fucking survived. What do you like? Didn't your grandmother used to bang a tail gunner

that was in the war? No. That just survived? No. I thought she used to bang this dude that was shooting planes down from the tail of a fucking B-52 or something. No. Just survived? No. I thought she used to bang this dude that was shooting planes down from the tail of a fucking B-52 or something. No. Oh, and this was another cocksucker.

No, your grandmother's nickname was Tail Gunner because she used to, you know, she had that whole arse thing she liked to do. Ivan Chisoff, 23,000 feet. He was a bomber pilot, got shot down. He jumped out. He didn't want to deploy his chute right away because he didn't want to get shot.

So he said, I'll just do it when I'm close to the ground. Fucking passed out. Never got to open it. Hit the ground at 150 miles an hour. Threw some soft pine trees

and some snow, which saved his cunt. And then he rolled down a fucking hill to the bottom of it. It's all about what you hit. Stop, drop, and roll. Yeah, if he's, like, on an incline, maybe that'd help him out like a skier.

Oh, yeah, an incline will absorb the energy and direct you back. $150,000 an hour, 23,000 feet, and he fucking survived. Yeah. I've heard of people hitting, like, barn roofs and, you know, shooting off them like that way. It absorbs the energy and redirects you out. Those guys should have bought a lottery ticket, eh? Remember people who say that? In the southern grove, Vesna Valuvik.

33,000 feet, she has the world record. 33,000 feet? That's full airliner fucking. She was a full, she was a airliner, full blast. Bomb went off in the luggage compartment. She was trapped in the tail section, pinned under her food cart. And the plane split in half. Everybody else died.

She crashed in deep snow. Fractured skull. Both legs broken. Three vertebrae. Pelvis shattered. No memory of it. But she survived. 33 fucking thousand feet.

So the valve out of the plane? She was inside the plane? Yeah. And she was trapped with her fucking food cart? Yeah. And the rest of the plane? She was inside the plane? Yeah. And she was trapped with her fucking food cart? Yeah, and the rest of the plane was gone. So it was just this tail section free-falling by itself. So not only are you in a shitty situation, you're trapped in a shitty situation.

You know what I'm saying? So she was in the plane when it hit, or she fell out and... No, a bomb went off, so she's just in the tail section. Just this little tiny piece of the plane. It's falling full speed. She crashed in deep snow and saved her ass. Jeez, they're fucking lucky people, man. Fucking right.

I kind of want to try it now. I'm going to say this to you again, Ricky. If you were to fall out of the plane, I bet you you would fucking survive. Would I? I bet you you would. You've got that kind of luck, man. Ah, you would just hit something, Ricky.

Like you'd land in a bucket, like a big, the old Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket that's up on the pole or something. I think I'd try to like dive down and then when I get closer try to arc it a little bit and just skid right across the water. See, that's what I'm talking about. You'd be falling. You'd have a wave of rolling a joint. See, that's what I'm talking about. You could make, you'd be falling, you'd have some, you'd have a wave of rolling a joint. Ricky, how would you arc it? How would you do that? He'd be rolling a joint and smoking a joint

on his way down and be like, all right, bring it on, motherfucker. And he'd land and be okay. Why don't you just open up your coat like a squirrel sees you? See? Shit like that would save him, man. Hopefully I never have to do it.

He wouldn't. I mean, I wouldn't do it on purpose, but if I was in the situation, the biggest thing is stay calm. Try to get high. Try not to think about your free falling with no fucking parachute. That'll freak you out. Did you see the guy that jumped out of the plane without a parachute on purpose? Yeah. No.

Oh. No parachute. He landed in a net. He landed in a net. Crazy motherfucker. You have to be fucking bananas to do that. Yeah, that would be fucked. Okay, who's crazier? That motherfucker or Evel Knievel when he jumped the fucking canyon? That takes a fucking set of very large testicles. That's two different kind of crazy. One, I think the buddy- Evel Knievel had large testicles.

They were some of the biggest on record. They're in the Smithsonian, I believe. Are you serious? I think Evel Knievel's testicles are at the Smithsonian, aren't they? Archie Bunker's chair is. Yeah, but I can understand the chair, but Evel Knievel's nuts.

You'd think maybe his helmet. What would they be in? Gloves or something. I think they're in a... They're not displayed. Are they in a jar? I think they're in lucite. I think they're preserved in a lucite block.

Okay, you go... How big... Okay, you're... Like, how big were his nuts? Apparently, they were like... Like a softball? Pool ball? Grapefruits, they're described as.

Oh, fucking way, man. That's what it's described as. Oh, he must have had cancer or something. There's no way they knew that. No, he had the white leather suit on. There's no way he was packing watermelon. No, but they sewed an extra curve in front of that to accommodate them. They must have been taped down or something.

You watch the old footage of him when he's walking to his bike. He's got softball nuts.... He's got camel toe nuts. Yes. He's got big nuts. And you know what else is in the Smithsonian? John Dillinger's penis. Oh yeah, I knew that one, man. Did it have a bullet hole in it? It could take one. No problem.

A little flesh would... It'd be nothing to Dillinger. I wonder if they put Dillinger's wiener next to Evel Knievel's nuts. That'd be quite a package. It would make sense. I mean... They could have a whole festival around that.

It must be a certain kind of section. You know what? They should be... Like, money. There's money to be made here. If you had a set of nuts, like a mold, of Evel Knievel's, and Dillager's cock, and you fucking, here ladies, try this one out. And you'd sold it as maybe a Halloween

costume. It's a gangster in a fucking daredevil's jacket. Maybe it's a Halloween costume you bought. Totally, man. What would they do with the nuts? They don't really need them. Just maybe you squeeze them and it makes like the sound of a bike going... Jesus Christ. People would buy it, man. Evil Knievel, Evil Knievel sound nuts. All right, this is the... I mean, it'd be good for... The exact sound of his motorcycle.

We'll ask Randy. We'll ask Randy what he would think of that. I bet you he'd say, Randy would use the nuts. Randy would use them as a fucking tongue strengthener. Well, that was a tangent. Yeah, what were we talking about? You were saying who's crazier, Evil Knievel or...

Yeah, who was crazier? Because the guy that jumped into the net, I mean, there's a lot of fucking shit figured out for that. A lot of formulas. He had a whole fucking team. Yeah. Evil. Evil didn't have it. He had a whole fucking team. Yeah. Evil. Evil didn't have it.

He got this old guy going like this, building the ramp, going, okay, up maybe another two inches. I don't think there was any mathematicians working on Evil's crew. No, man. He was just like, fuck, just build that thing. Make sure my bike's working. And then you saw what happened, though. It got fucked up. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah. The chute came out as soon as he was launching. The chute came out and he just nosedived right into the camera. It was fucked up. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. The chute came out as soon as he was launching. The chute came out and he just nosedived right into the camera. It was crazier. Evil was crazier. It was his big nuts. Evil has... I think so.

I don't know. It's tough, though. People with big nuts are fucking nuts, man. They're crazy people. Let's say it's a tie. Let's say it's a tie. We need research. You know what we need to know?

We need to know if this guy that jumped out of the fucking plane had huge nuts. There's something about that, man. You just want a picture of his nuts for your wall. I just want to know, man. It's science. So if you're born with big nuts, you're fucking crazy. I don't believe there's a correlation, but it could be. It very well could be. I heard Napoleon had a huge set of fucking nuts on him too, and that guy was crazy.

Napoleon didn't have big nuts. That's what they say, man. Who did? The history books. There's no history books. The Encyclopedia Britannica. Look it up. The Encyclopedia Britannica doesn't say Napoleon had big nuts.

If you go to the index in the back, it's just like, Napoleon's nuts. If you go to the index in the back, it's just like, Napoleon's nuts. Or it would be nuts and then sub-list whoever's nuts they're referring to. I think they're talking about the nuts that he ate. He liked to eat nuts. Macadamia. Oh, he's a big nutty. That's what it was. Sorry. Oh, yeah. He liked to, what are the big ones called? Nobody always picked the right ones. Macadamia. I don't know. There's like a bohemian kind of... Oh, yeah, he liked it. What are the big ones called? Nobody always picked through the image. Yeah, it's academia. The walnuts.

Oh, no, there's like a bohemian kind of... There's one you pick through the bowl and you never eat those big cocks. No, because they look like bugs. Oh, a Brazil nut. Is that a Brazil nut, is it? It's crazy fucking Brazil nuts. All right, well, I'm going back to my cell.

All right, are they actually fucking Brazil, do you think? I would think so, Rick. That's why they're called Brazil nuts, isn't it? That's what I was wondering. You know who else has Brazil nuts? Who? Antonio Banderas. Was he from Brazil?

Oh, I don't know. I just couldn't think of anybody from Brazil. That's funny. Whoever, if you're a dude from Brazil, you got Brazil nuts. You sent him to joke somewhere, bubs. I just did, okay? All right, funny enough, bubs.

Funny enough. You know what? Edibles are just starting to hit me now. I can tell. Why couldn't they have hit me like a half hour ago? You're lucky you got edibles. There's not many in here right now. All right, we gotta go.

See you fucking later, everybody. You need to farm me some liquor. I will get you some. This jail sucks right now. Five bucks, you can have as much liquor as you want, dude. Let's go. All right. Get those brazil nuts moving. Thank you. Læs merks med min skogsforskning. you