Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 5 - Supercat

Episode Date: September 3, 2015

Only an idiot gets injured making a podcast – and this week, that idiot is Ricky! Preston the TPB crew guy also spills the beans about Ricky’s bad behaviour on set. Bubbles tells a tall tale about his kitty Ronnie Pumpkin, Julian gets excited about a greasy tuna scheme, and the boys reveal next week’s awesome guest…   Episode Five is brought to you by the world-famous El Mocambo live music venue, 464 Spadina Ave, Toronto!

Not quite, I'm chewing. Boss, we gotta start this. I'm chewing. Okay, we'll wait until you're done chewing then. I'm just gonna sit here like dicks. I'm chewing, I shouldn't have smoked that, because I got the munchies. Oh, shit.

Okay, are we going? All right, let's get this going. Podcast number... What number podcast is this? This is number five. This is number five. And it's big news because we've got a guy on board with us.

We've talked about him. Ricky's got a big crush on him, we think. Weckerly. Michael Weckerly. He's on board. He's going to sponsor us for four more podcasts. Who is? Weckerly. Michael Weckerly. He's on board. He's going to sponsor us for four more podcasts. Who is? Weckerly.

The guy from... He's sponsoring us now? For the Dragon's Den. That guy. Decent. Is that why we got the nicer chips and whatnot this week? We got these cookies. I think these cookies were here last week.

But yeah, it's good, man. I mean, he's talking about some money here. He's going to give us some money for doing this. Yeah, but who now... You did the fucking deal. Now let me guess, I don't get anything. No, no, we're gonna get something. You'll get most of it?

I'm not gonna get most of it. It's gonna be like a pool of money that's gonna come to us and then we split it up. Listen, listen. Holy fuck, Ricky. He's out fucking cold. For those of you who can't see what's happening right now, Ricky is sleeping at the table.

Let it fucking be up. Ricky! Ricky, Ricky! Jesus Christ, Ricky! Fuck! Fuck! Man, he's down. He's down, folks.

Did you hurt yourself? Oh, boys, that fucking sucked. Jesus Christ, what the hell? Get off. For fuck's sakes. Here, give me your hand. What the fuck are you doing? Look, wipe the drool off your face. Here, look.

Look at the camera. You were drooling. Fuck, that hurt a lot, boys. Ricky, you fucking went down like a sack of potatoes. I said to wake me up when the fucking thing started. We've started. I was just about to wake you up and your fucking chair collapsed. I'm sorry.

Fuck, look at that bruise, man. What did you hurt? Jesus Christ. Head, ass, back, leg, and shoulder. You hit the floor hard, man. You hit your head. Go down hard. Do you need a...

Here, have a drink of liquor. Have a liquor drinker. Light up a joint. This is black label shit. Here, Ricky, can you... What the fuck is all over me? Can you do this one? Fucking shit that was on the floor.

For fuck's sakes, boys. Rick, you got some chip crumb or something on your cheek. You got a chip hanging off your cheek. Oh, yeah. It's gone. That's a great start to the podcast number five, Rick. All right, here we are. A little bit of pain.

All right, I was just telling everybody, we've got Michael Wackerly on board. He's sponsoring the next four podcasts, so we can't fuck around. Michael Wackerly? Yeah, the guy from the Dragon's Den. Yeah, I know. We talked about him before. Yeah, the guy you have a crush on. I don't have a crush on him.

You called him handsome. Lucy may or may not think he's handsome or hot or whatever you want to call it. I didn't. Whatever. Anyway, that's cool. So he's sponsoring us? Does he have booze or anything? Or what's, what do we get here now?

I'm sure he does. He's got lots of booze at his house or something. Apparently it's a deal Julian worked out and I have yet to know what the actual deal is. I'm sure you benefit from it greatly. We're all going to benefit. Like, what are you making me sound like some kind of a fucking guy

that's going to rip off his friends, which I don't do. You know what, boys? I think I need to smoke a joint. But I'm only smoking it if you smoke it with me. Rick, I'm not smoking any of that crazy shit with you. Boys, I may have broke my fucking leg. We're getting high, all of us.

Rick, the last time we did this, I mean, I don't know how you get so high all the time every day, man. I couldn't even fucking function last podcast. It's wonderful. It's a wonderful feeling. I'm sure it's wonderful for you, but for most people that don't smoke as much as you, you know. It's panic time.

I fucking panic. Because I think my heart's beating too fast. Well, get over it, because we're fucking getting high right now, all three of us. This is fucked, and I need it. I need liquor, and I need drugs. It's the only thing that's going to get me through this podcast. You cut your hand up there, man.

Look at the bruise on it. Yeah. Show that to... There's probably some bigger ones on my back, ass, and leg. Show it to the camera, man. Let me tell you. It's turning purple already. Let's see. It's scraped up.

It's purple. Fuck, Ricky. I thought you were just too... So what do we talk about today? Whatever you want. We have a new spot, so that's cool. Yeah, man. That's what they call it, isn't it? WEC?

WEC, the WEC, man. This guy, I mean, he's known as the greatest trader Bay Street has ever seen. That's what they're saying. This guy's got the Oracle. The Oracle. He's got tons of money into the future. Now it sounds like you guys have a crush on him. No, as a businessman, Ricky, this is a guy we want to hook up with. Okay.

He could teach us something, I'm sure. What does he have that can fucking help us out? Okay, well, he's got, number one, he's on the Dragon's Den. Yeah, we're all fucking well aware of that, bud. We've already talked about it so this is actually the podcast we don't even need to listen to because we do go that all right okay he's he's got the l uh macombo bar in toronto did you ever hear that l macombo he bought it i've heard of that place isn't that like a famous joint yes it's famous it's one of the most famous rock

clubs ever all right now macombo everybody's played there fucking you too when they were starting out. That's where they played I'm a combo fucking way really yes roll the stones played there That's why I know that place cuz I fucking some famous woman bang Mick or Nick or one of the guys in the band was not what I was Nick or one of the guys in the band. That's where that was.

Who banged Mick Jagger? I don't know if they banged, but some dirty stuff went down. With who? The president's fucking wife or daughter. Pierre Trudeau's wife. Margaret Trudeau. They say that after they played there, her and Mick, fucking Mick,

they hooked up. They may have banged. They could have, I don't know, Hunter. She did something to him. I never heard that. I'm John. You've never heard of that Pierre Trudeau his voice yeah no Pierre Trudeau maybe he was there too I thought you meant Pierre Mick wouldn't have gave a that's for sure didn't he bang David Bowie well Ricky Ricky I don't know if I thought I heard that somewhere yeah that people I thought I heard that somewhere. Yeah, that people, I mean, that's out there.

People have been saying that for years. They have? Yeah, man. Anyway, it's a cool spot. Are we going to get the fuck and go there or not? Because that would be pretty badass. Well, we're definitely going to go there now. I mean, if you don't fuck up the podcast and Weck thinks we're a bunch of dicks.

Fuck, is there any way to sue him for falling? How could you sue him? How is it his fault that you fell? If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't be doing this fucking thing, so there's gotta be something there, isn't there? Not really, Ricky. I don't think you can sue the man,

because he's, you know, sponsoring us here. All right. Might be able to sit, uh, maybe he's swearing at you. You can sue them, maybe. They might have some kind of insurance or something. Those fucking chairs. Fuck! What the fuck are you doing?

I'm getting pissed off, guys. I'm not having fun yet. Where the fuck is the guest? I said we weren't doing these fucking things anymore without guests anyway. You got a guest? We don't exactly have one, no. So this is just going to be some lame fucking bullshit.

Wow. Rick falls down, looks dumb, maybe gets drunk and all. We don't exactly have one, no. So this is just going to be some lame fucking bullshit. Wow. Rick falls down, looks dumb, maybe gets drunk and all. We don't have one today, but we got one lined up. Podcast number six, man. We got a doozy hooked up for that one. Guess who's going to be on next podcast? Don't care, because there's not going to be any more podcasts without a guest, right? He's not going to care, huh?

Who's going to be on? Snoop Doggy. Oh, shit. You're just fucking saying that, so I'll keep fucking going here. No, he's going to be on? Snoop Doggy. Oh, shit. You're just fucking saying that, so I'll keep fucking going here. No, he's going to be on. He's going to be on. Yeah, I'll believe that when I hear it. So you're not going to do the fucking podcast if we don't get a guest?

I don't know. It's going to fucking be lame if we don't have a guest, isn't it? The last guest sucked. Fucking idiot. Who was it? It was Randy. Oh, yeah. Didn't job. Explode. Wasn't great. He's Fucking idiot. Who was it? It was Randy. Oh, yeah. Didn't jobs.

Blowed. Wasn't great. He's an idiot. Wasn't great. All right. Well, you want a... You want a gas, Ricky? I don't know.

Is it possible? Anything's possible. How come you're, like, hiding down when you do that behind your laptop? No, I'm not. I'm trying to read. You're trying... No, you were smoking a joint, but you kind of... Get down behind the screen behind your laptop. No, I'm not. I'm trying to read. No, you were smoking a joint, but you kind of hit it down behind the screen.

No. Ricky, you put the fucking chair in the chips. Ricky, you probably need that. That's fucking structural bracing. It was making the fucking chair too leany. Now it's gone. It's much better, honestly. It's probably going to collapse. All that structural integrity that you just threw away there

Ricky just ripped the fucking leg off the chair the brace under you know what I knew this fucking thing was gonna be lame No gas nothing. So take that You want a guest here who's here right now? Preston oh, yeah, we're not gonna get Preston. All right get the fuck over here. You're gonna be a guest He's not a fucking guess. What does he do anyway? He fucking helps the dicks with the cameras and doesn't really seem to do much. He doesn't buy any dope off me. We can talk to him. Never has dope.

Preston, get the fuck over here. Come in our liquor. Hey. How you doing, boys? What's up, Preston? Please welcome to the podcast, Preston. Hi, everybody. How you doing? How you doing? He's not really a guest. What the fuck does he do?

What is he? What do you do? Preston, he's worked here how long? Preston? Uh, a long time. 10, 13, 14 years, something like that, boys. Yeah, you can tell the fucking people you work for there might be a little lawsuit in the works over that fucking shit that happened there earlier.

Well, maybe. We'll sort that out once you sort out how you're going to get us back for that trailer wall there. For those of you who don't know, Preston was on the the first guys that showed up with the cameras how many years ago oh man that was back in 2000. let's get the smoke bulbs yeah the guys can smoke no we're gonna actually insist no mr responsible he can't smoke drugs at work i guess we're gonna insist boys he likes to pretend he doesn't

smoke them at work. When you know he does. I know everybody's getting stoned, I swear to God. You walk into this building, it just smells like weed. It's a good place to work, I bet. Yeah, it's not bad. It's not a bad place, actually, guys. You make it fun to do.

So, listen, you've been with the camera guys on the Trailer Park Boys show. Yep. Since day one. That's right. Okay, so what's the most fucked up thing that you've ever had to deal with? Ricky. Well, I assumed that

was the answer. It's not very nice. I don't know. Ricky, you're a fucking nightmare, bud. You're a nightmare. Because I like to have fun? You like to have fun. You like to have fun fucking with the crew. You like to have fun making noise, shooting guns off next to people's heads when they're not listening. When they're not knowing it's happening, you like to spike people's drinks, you fuck things up

a lot, you like to mess with people's... At the time, you put a whole bunch of fake blood inside my car, so I was going home and it was raining and I did the old squirty thing to get the windshield wipers going and the blood was all over the fucking place. And that was pretty funny. That wasn't fake blood, Preston. That was pig blood.

By the way. Whatever it was, cops stopped it. You almost died, too. You crashed that night. That wasn't fake blood, Preston. That was pig blood, by the way. And whatever it was, cops stopped. You almost died, too. You crashed that night. That's right. I crashed a little bit. I'm fucking putting this out. Never forget it. Never forget it, Ricky.

And never since, you've been the nightmare. I'd like to say sorry, but I'm not good at that because all those things were a lot of fun. And I think I would have had fun if I was the person getting them done to me. So, I don't know. I think you're being a bit of a baby. You do bum a lot of booze off me. I've seen you pretty drunk. You don't smoke enough.

Maybe that's what your problem is. Okay. I admit that a little bit. I do that. I drink a bit once in a while. A couple snaps, you know, keep me going. Keep me level. Working with you guys.

How come, I noticed on the set, how come you always keep, like, a bunch of young boys around? Oh, they're interns, right? The guys just want to come in, they want to help out and do stuff like that. And we just use those guys. And then you get drunk with them after work every night. It's team building, bud. It's team building.

You get them together, you tell stories, you joke, you carry on. Next day you're at work. You're like, hey, remember that thing we did there? It was pretty cool. Hey, let's do some more. Fine, carry on. No, it's not like that, guys. Come on.

Don't be, you know, I got a wife. I've seen you hanging out with Chipper quite a bit lately, too. I don't know what that means. Chipper's a good guy. Oh, I know. He's going through some stuff lately. He certainly is. I'm just trying good guy. Oh, I know. He's going through some stuff lately, and I'm... He certainly is. I'm just trying to help him through his life changes

and making sure that he's okay and he's feeling okay with stuff. What do you got on the cards here, Julian? Let's get back to Chipper. How is his wife and kids doing and stuff like that? Have they coped well with what's going on in his life? They're going to take the news pretty well once it happens there. It's an easing thing. Oh, he hasn't told them yet? I don't think so. What's going on in his life? They're going to take the news pretty well once it happens there, you know? It's an easing thing.

Oh, he hasn't told them yet? I don't think so. All right. I don't think so. I don't even really know what it means. It's not surprising, Rick. Well, panners. Pansexual.

Do you have sex in a pan? I've heard that expression before. Pansexual. Pansexual. What the fuck are you talking about? Never heard that. Transexual, maybe. I thought he said he was pansexual. What the fuck are you talking about? Never heard that. Transsexual, maybe. I thought he said he was pansexual. I don't know.

I guess whatever pans out, you'll do it. I guess so. I heard that you're into dudes now. Whatever. It's all good. He's like, no, no, I'm pan. Okay. I don't know what that means,

but it sounds like he just throws out the line and whatever pans out. He's like panning for gold, maybe. He's just doing a little bit of, you know, see what happens. See what some nuggets. It'd be a fucking good way to be. Like, everybody. I don't know what that means, but it sounds like he just throws out the line and whatever pans out. It's like panning for gold, maybe. He's just doing a little bit, you know, see what happens. It'd be a fucking good way to be, like everybody. I don't know. Okay, is this, are we doing the podcast right now? What was that, we smoke, boys?

Oh, shit, Ricky. I don't know, we got a fucking wee trail off there. So I knew this fucking, this was going to suck today. I thought we were going to have a normal good guest. I'm a good guest. And I actually prepared some fucking things again. But anyway, I guess we won't talk away of that. No, good guest. Let's hear what you got there, Ricky.

You got some current events, or what do you got? Go ahead. I was going through some those papers with the news, and... Yep, yep. Here's one. A woman claims that she auditioned to be Tom Cruise's girlfriend. Oof. Wow.

That's fucking creepy. Well, it's kind of weird, but kind of cool. Oof. Wow. That's fucking creepy. Well, it's kind of weird, but kind of cool. Imagine being that guy. It's like, you want a new girlfriend? Just fucking send somebody out. Yeah, but that's,

it's, I don't think, I think he's... There's many layers to that, Ricky. Yes, I think he's being forced. Yeah. You know, by the,

by the you-know-whos. Who is the you-know-whos? The Scientiologies, or the science the ology yeah should we even be talking about this shouldn't even bring it up shouldn't even bring it out okay well I didn't know we could get fucking people after for talking with this fucking guys but let's just fucking talk about who cares I mean where they're gonna come down it so what did you read that says there's a woman saying that she auditioned

to be his girlfriend, which would be all orchestrated by them. Yeah, and they made her put on more makeup than she was comfortable with and all this other

crazy shit. Oh, yeah, and then she found it later on. I guess that's what it was, an audition for to be his girlfriend. When did that happen?

I don't know. Just saw it in one of the newspapers, man. Just trying to come up with ideas. What do you guys got? Oh, that's? I don't know. I just saw it in one of the newspapers, man. Just trying to come up with ideas. What do you guys got? Oh, that's, I mean... No, I think that's... I just thought it was weird and different. Maybe it was good.

Now you're making me feel like it could be creepy. I don't know, but... Okay, okay. So he's getting chicks to audition to be his girlfriend. So, I mean, how many chicks is he auditioning, do you think? Like, a bunch, or... I don't have all his answers. What is he looking for? What did the, like, the chicks are just gonna... Once they audition, contest them. Yeah. Does he geting, do you think? Like a bunch? I don't have all his names. What is he looking for?

What did the chicks are just going to... Once they audition, confess that? Yeah. Does he get to do it with them? I don't know those things. What kind of document were you reading? It wasn't great information, guys. No, apparently not.

Apparently not that comprehensive. We've got to look into that. What do you have, Buck? Do you have anything exciting to see? Well, my thing things all frozen up here it's mainly just about you know caitlyn jenner i know this one you like this story bubs why it's about a cat okay you love cats i love cats of course i do this one's like not happy story but happy ending kind of a story. Here we go. Oh, God.

Involves a cat getting shot, so... Ricky? No, but it's a good story. A fucking... How in the fuck could that be a good story? What's good about that? I don't know. I think it was in Chicago or somewhere,

but this stray bullet went through a fucking house. It was like a three-year-old sitting on the sofa, and a cat fucking took the bullet for her. Oh, you fucking... Saved the kid. And the cat actually survived so it's kind of a happy ending kind of fuck that it happened oh so he saw it he dove in front of it i guarantee you he dove in front of it i wouldn't say you think you think that he's got

like esp i wouldn't believe i've seen kitties do things that would blow your mind i guarantee you he probably heard it they have lightning quick ear flexes ear reflexes yeah so he heard it he probably assessed the situation very quickly yeah you know triangulated where the shot came from with his super hearing saw the bullet coming through and just left in front of it i guarantee you that's the way there's not a chance. Why is there not a chance? The cat would have to hear the sound of a finger pressing up against the fucking trigger and then react.

Bullets are faster than fucking cats in their brains. You ever hear the fucking saying, Ricky, reflexes like a cat? That's why. They can hear bullets coming and they can... And they're loyal. It's a super cat. There's sex things as super cats.

Bob, that's fucked up. I've dealt with super cats over the years. Oh, really? How? Like, what happened? There's super cats, Julian. I've seen... I'd like to hear a story about a super cat.

Yeah, give us a... Or the one who dodged, you know, run in front of a bullet to save a kid. There was a cat I had years ago. Right? Okay. I had him years ago okay ronnie pumpkin do you remember ronnie pumpkin yeah ronnie pumpkin had he was a super cat he came to me one day i was in the shed cooking and i hear him and i look down and there's ronnie and

he's doing this he's doing this with his head i'm not joking him he's doing this He's doing this with his head. I'm not joking him. He's doing this. He's doing the come with me with his head No way man, and I was like, what is it boy? He went That so I followed him I was like, what is it? So he started running and he keeps looking back over shoulder to make sure I'm following him and I followed him down past the firm there, the old firm, down to where the store is, and there was a guy in there with a gun holding up the store.

And Ronnie Pumpkin fucking went. I'm telling you. And I fucking saw him, and I went over to the phone booth, and I called 911, and I said, me and my cat would like to report a armed robbery in progress at the store Ronnie pumpkin did that he saved the day now you tell me that's not a fucking super cat

No, Ronnie pumpkin was like 35 pounds wasn't he he was that big fat one He was the same way he was walking way to the store to check it out then ran Oh, this was when he was younger. He was leaner and that's that's that didn't happen So he was just down hangout store saw robbery ran back got get you. No, this was when he was younger. He was leaner. That didn't happen. So he was just down hanging out at the store, saw Robbie, ran back, got you, used a little knacky twitchy thing,

got you down there and saved the day. Actually, you know what? That's a fucking Littles Hobo episode you're talking about. That's exactly what it is. Well, that's where they

probably got the fucking idea of that. Because they read it in the paper that Ronnie Pumpkin did. And he watches TV. I've had kiddies that... I think your memories watches TV. He's, I've had kitties that... I think your memories are in and out there.

I've had kitties that helped me fix the go-kart. I had a kitty that could pass me wrenches. Bullshit. I swear to fuck, I'd say, give me a quarter inch, and he'd go over and grab it with his teeth and bring it over. I'd say, give me a five-eighths. Back he'd go. We're starting here on this. I don't know if the fucking cat

lapped in front of it I'm telling you he fucking I guarantee you he saved the day she needed some money for bills and I guess people came through and gave her the money to pay for it all the cats can be other cats well it was a happy ending anyways that was up for a fucking story right there baby

it was a great story what do you got Julian anything? no probably not I've got some shit here How's that for a fucking story right there, baby? It's a great story. Great story, Ricky. Great story. What do you got, Julian? Anything? No, probably not. I've got some shit here. Bob's is going to like this. No, you're not going to like this, actually, Bob.

These little pepperoni one-hitters? Pepperoni one-hitters? Yeah. Yeah, that's what they are, buddy. What are they? Pepperoni cocks. Tiny ones. Little tiny pepperonis.

Yeah. Little snacks. I'm trying to talk here. Sorry, did you say something? little tiny pepperonis. Little snacks. Easy. I'm trying to talk here. Sorry, did you say something? Oh, you got some current events. I know what those are. WWF legend Jimmy Snuka. He's been charged with murder, Bubbs.

Murder? What, Jimmy Snuka? I guess 32 years ago he murdered his girlfriend. That's what they're saying. That's just coming out now? Well, he got away with it. Then the family of the girlfriend just kept fucking pressing it. And 32 years later,

he's going to court. You know what they did? They found new evidence. They did. I watched cold case files and now they probably, you know. Technology is what fucked him over. A lot of people getting fucked over by technology like that. So he got away with murder for 32 fucking years.

Wow. Yeah. Well, it's alleged. He's 72 now. It's alleged. They haven't proved it yet, have they? No. And he's 72. I mean, he's going to probably spend the rest of his life in jail.

Jimmy Snuka. Snuka. He had a good run. He had a good run. He had a good run. He really did it. But you know what? If he did it, he's a dirty bastard and he shouldn't have been free those 32 years.

Yeah. No. If he did do it, do the crime, do the time. That's right. Isn't that right, Rick? Yeah, I mean, I've never killed anybody for fuck's sake. Of course not. Of course not.

Well, you thought you did. It wasn't me, Bubbs. That was you that you thought. I tried. That was close. I've seen you try a few times. We did think we killed somebody, but... Fuck, we didn't. Fuck, I wasn't there.

What else you got there? All right, another story about someone going to jail or someone that actually just got released from jail. Judge Joe Brown, the guy at his show. Yeah, he's fucking cool. He went to jail for five days, man. Didn't like it. I guess he was an attorney, and he's fucking cool. He went to jail for five days, man. For what? Didn't like it. I guess he was an attorney, and he was, uh...

He had this case, he was defending this guy, and he just started mouthing off the judge. Basically told him to go fuck yourself, judge, whatever your name is, and the judge threw him in jail for five days. Judge Joe Brown was fighting another judge? Well, yeah, yeah. He was mouthing off. I don't think they got into a fist fight or anything.

Maybe they did. I don't know. He probably warned him. You're in contempt, sir. But he said that jail... You can't handle the truth. That's right. He said it was dirty and boring.

Didn't like it. Well, I couldn't really argue. All the jays are fucking awesome. That's what I'm saying. I mean... But I do respect the guy for fucking sticking up for himself. That's cool. That's really good.

That could be really funny. You got a good show. Judge fights. It's cool. That's really good. That could be really funny. You got a good show, judge fights. Judge versus judge. That would be awesome. And they should get in the ring, maybe. Yeah. You gonna finish that? Well, there's more of them.

Do you want one? Yep. Just put it in there. OK, man. I don't know. I was going to eat it, but it's all right, I guess. Get my pepperoni. OK, what's next, Rick? What do you got?

This one's a little fucked. This is a bad fucking parent here. Vermont. Man cleaning his gun. Shot his fucking daughter at a campground. That's a big fuck up. Like, I would never be that fucking stupid. Imagine telling your wife that one.

Honey? Shot Mabel. How the fuck did he do that what the fuck is the guy's handgun like how the fuck is it loaded number one he's dumb at the campsite while you're cleaning it i mean i can understand if the daughter shot him it's not his fault just accidents happen i mean i've been shot by my daughter but to shoot your own daughter is a big up that's bad parents yeah yeah yeah bad parent i don't think you classify that as bad parenting ricky i think it's beyond that it's bad human in bad human ending yeah bad humaning well ricky i mean it happened with you like you said trini dropped the gun she had it in the the kitchen. How was she supposed to know?

I know, but you're still leaving loaded handguns all over the fucking house. That was an accident. I came home one night fucking wasted. I was falling down and I didn't want to fall down with the gun in my pocket and let it go off, so I put it in the first drawer that I would open in the morning when I was cooking breakfast.

The cutlery drawer, the first drawer that anybody would open up going in to make breakfast. Well, I see that now, but you know what they say about the hindsight. I forget what it is, but you know what they say. Know what? What do they say? When you see sight in the hind, you've got better, clearer vision. That's what they say. Something along those lines.

Who quoted that? Mark Twain, was it? Yeah. You know what? Anybody that leaves a load of guns around their house with kids around, they're fucking dumb. So you're in the same category as this other guy that shot his daughter. Depends what happens. There's never really accidents, and then no one's dumb, right?

This guy got cocked because he was dumb. And this guy fucked it because he was done and this guy fucked it up not the daughter anyway i guess we have different feelings about those subjects i just don't think everybody has the same feeling about it in your house when you got kids ricky okay oh this is a fucking beauty we can all right now the four of us, make $25 or get $50 in free tuna. There's some fucking lawsuit going on. It's a tuna lawsuit. And if you bought tuna in the last 10 years, they'll give you $25.

Or you can get $50 worth of free tuna. So that's what I'm fucking doing because tuna lasts forever. Ricky, what are you talking about? If you bought tuna in the last 10 years, they'll give you $25. Dequalify. $25. From whoify. $25. From who? Or $50 in free tuna.

But who gives it to you? Tuna company, I guess. Which tuna company? The one that fucked up, I guess. Why would you want to get tuna from the company that you're asking? They killed people or poisoned people. Well, they probably obviously fixed the fucking problem, I'm hoping. So now if you get the free tuna, it's probably good tuna.

That's why they give you free tuna, because it's all the fucked up tuna that they want to get rid of. They'd be really dumb if they, after fucking up once, and they're paying this money in the lawsuit, that they fucked up again. Okay, Rick, I don't... It's probably the best tuna in the world, actually. How can they not prove that you didn't buy their tuna? Like, I don't like tuna, so I definitely didn't buy their tuna.

You can fucking... I want their 25 bucks. Right up your receipt, probably, and just say... It's actually here, Julian, look. $50 in free star-kissed tuna or $25 check from class action lawsuit. There you go. Free money or free tuna? This could be a lot of money.

If we can get 100 people on board, that's $2,500 fucking dollars. I'm getting tuna for my kiddies. Let's get the $25. Fuck the free tuna. Let's get the free... But it's $50 worth of free tuna.

That's better than $25. That's like... How much is a can of cat food nowadays? It's what, a buck? Oh, it's getting out there. No, yeah, two bucks for the nice stuff. Yeah, once you get those little fuckers hooked on real tuna, then what do you do?

Yeah. You just cut them off. Exactly. You have to keep buying real tuna for the rest of your life. No, I tell them straight up. I say, this is a treat, guys. Just so you know, don't get accustomed to it. But I've been feeding them.

I've been giving them nice fucking grass-fed organic stuff. You see a difference in your kidneys with that? Absolutely. The other problem is if you had real tuna on a few of your cats and word got around, you'd probably get people, I mean, I don't know, I think people might break into your shed and maybe steal a couple cans of tuna late at night if they're hungry. Well, I would just leave a sign up saying,

if you're gonna steal my tuna, guess what? You can get your own free, 50 bucks worth. Boss, why don't we just take the $25, then we could put some of the money towards cat food. Fuck getting the 50 pounds at $50, what is it, $50? $50 worth of tuna. That's a lot of tuna, man. That's like 50, you know, 40 cans.

Ricky's coming through here. Free money for people, free tuna for people. You guys are offering people nothing. You got anything else? Ricky's like tuna Robin Hood. Yep. Just for that, Ricky gets a bonus joint. Okay, well, there's something to that tuna thing.

I guarantee you we can make a lot of money off that. Just got to think about it more. Oh, and you told me to fucking look into what's happened with these fucking crazy celebrity whack jobs. What crazy celebrity whack jobs? There's always people fucking around. Apparently, by all the dickie are going at it again. What do you mean, going at it?

Well, not the way you're probably hoping and thinking, but they're fucking... Who's going at it? They're fucking arguing with each other again. Nicki Minaj? Yep. Sounds like we're turning into a TNC here, boys. I know.

But you guys told me to check this shit out. I don't even know what the fuck these people do or what they are. Taylor Swift fared it, apparently. What? MTV Awards. There was some fucking thing I saw about that. Ricky, what are you talking about? She was about to introduce some video.

Apparently, she fared it, okay? Everybody does it. I don't think it's a big deal, but people are talking about it. And could you hear it, like, over the whole, you know, speakers? Yeah, you can hear it. Did you just fart? Somebody did. I didn't. It wasn't me. It happens. It's just pressed. know speakers and yeah you can hear it Judas first no way that just has a great talking about Taylor Swift doing it it's perfect timing at least didn't shit

herself like Ed Sheeran does he did fuck? It happens to everybody. I don't know. I shot myself about three times this year. I shot myself. Threw up myself. Bled all over myself. No doubt. No doubt, buddy. It's just normal human stuff. Leaking. Just leaking. Leaking. Let's talk about leaking.

Let's talk about leaking. I've had enough of that stuff, man. I don't want any more of that shit. Yeah, Ricky, you gotta stop handing that thing out. Listen, guys, I can't stay here forever. Like, I know you wanted me, uh, a guest to be on here, but I... Well, who asked you to? Well, you could've fucking left long ago.

You fucking asked me to come and sit in here. For a couple minutes. For a couple minutes? You've been here for about ten. Oh, really? You guys are fucking dicks. We'll beat it. Get back to work, you lazy, prack fucking dicks. All right.

Anyways, we'll talk to you about that wall in a little bit. Yes. We're just going to talk about that, maybe. I don't know. All right. Thanks, Preston. Yeah, that was fucking... That was great, man.

Really exciting. Really exciting for the people at home. Fuck, we have Snoop Dogg on next week. You guys are full of shit, dude, really? What's happening, man? That'll be kind of cool. Snoop Dizzle, confirmed. I might have to get extra fucked up for that one.

And we're gonna get him on the Skyper, too. Oh, yeah? We're gonna get him on the talking machine. How do you see him over the fucking radio? No, it's gonna be on a screen. We're gonna see him. It's gonna? No, it's going to be on a screen. We're going to see him. It's going to be decent.

It's going to be decent. All right, boys, we've got to wrap this up. Do we? Yeah, it's been like over a half hour we've been sitting here. No. Talking about absolute bullshit. It's fucking lame. Didn't get to talk about fucking this. What?

I was saving this one for last because it's the most fucked up thing I've heard lately what is it I can't wait this fucking crazy fucking dick are we waiting just a sec this will be like a cliffhanger then we'll come back and we'll start the next one what is it like current event yes

see it won't be current that's a good point fuck see this is a tough one be kind of good just to stop it right now and just say tune in next week I think we already got people coming next week because of Snoop that's true okay

what is it this crazy fucking cocksucker in the US Republican Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker wants to put a fucking wall up between Canada and the United States of America. That is fucked. A wall?

A fucking wall, yeah. Where? Along the whole border? Yeah, it's like fucking 9,000 kilometers long. I don't know how many miles that is, but it's a fuck of a lot. They're saying it would probably cost $30 billion. $30 billion? And what's he going to accomplish? Does he think he's going to keep us out of there?

Go ahead. Why is he trying to keep us out of there, though? That's what I don't understand. Or is he trying to keep people from the United States coming to Canada? I don't know, because they come up here and think, fuck, this place is great and don't want to go back. It's a weird fucking idea. But does he say, put up a wall and then that's it?

There's no borders, there's nobody in or out? Or is he saying, let's put up a wall, but we'll still just let people in and out. It'll just be a nice, pretty wall. We just got nothing better to spend $30 billion on. Fuck, it'll be beautiful. That's fucked. I thought it was a little fucked. I think maybe.

I think it's fucked too. It's really fucked. What's his name? Scott Walker. Scott Walker. I think he might be. Fucked in the head. I think he might be smoking something more powerful than we are.

And I'm glad we did say what the story's about now because if this was a cliffhanger for the next episode... It would have been lame. It would have been very fucking lame, Ricky. I've got a bit of a buzz on it. I thought it was a lot more fucking... No, man, it's better than it was. I still think it's fucked. We should ask Snoop Dogg what he thinks about that.

Well, how do you fuck your... Number one, there's a lot of water. How do you build the wall over the water? Is it a floating wall for that section? Good call. Valid questions, really. Maybe just barbed wire, so you cruise along a lake in your boat, and all of a sudden your fucking neck gets cut off.

That's a good question, Rick. There's fucking airports in the way. There's people's homes. Like, it just, wow. I don't have any answers for you, Rick. All right, well, you guys can't help me on this. I'll go talk to someone that can. All right.

Let's just end this. I fucked up the to someone that can. All right. Let's, let's just end this. I fucked up the podcast, didn't I? A little bit. A little bit, Ricky. Sorry,

guys. So depressed. You know what? Next time I'm bringing nothing except the buzz on and you guys are in charge of all of it. Okay.

You got it. Snoopy the dog. We'll just see if that really happens. I fucking highly doubt it. All right. Sign off, bubs. What?

Sign off. We're done. Why am I signing off? All right, thanks. We're done. Just wait. I'm the host. I'll sign off. See you later. That's called fucking with you. I know. Just do it. I signed off and you guys didn't even know.

So did I. See you later. I'm done. That's the end of podcast number five. I'm going to the hospital to get some x-rays. Do you really need x-rays? I'm pretty fucking sore, yeah. I am baked.