Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 50 - Attraction Level Sex Pipes

Episode Date: May 9, 2022

The Boys are f**ked on edibles today, so get ready for a train wreck! They discuss Ice Wars, the world's most awesome liquor bottle, and do some hard f**king math. Plus: Go Around the World in 80oz with Julian!

Look at this. Look at the smoke around Julian. Yeah. He looks like gorillas in the mist. Sabornian either. What the fuck are you talking about? You. Gorillas in the mist.

With your attraction level sex pipes. Attraction level sex pipes. Attraction-level sex pipes. What the fuck does that even mean, man? Attraction-level sex pipes. Attraction-level sex pipes. I can't wrap my head around that. Welcome to Park After Dark. Today's episode taking place in a jungle with gorillas and fog.

And lots of edibles. And fucking sex pipes. Attraction level sex pipes. Attraction. Can you smoke out of it? You can't be hitting me with this shit, man. Like, no. Edibles.

Edibles. Do we have some edibles coming out? Why? We should. My fucking... This thing just... Is your laptop in the edibles? It's fucked up We should. My fucking... This thing just goes off. Is your laptop on edibles? It's fucked up.

And there's Dolly Parton on here. Why are you searching her? She fucking donated a million dollars to children's... You know why? Because Dolly's basically a saint. She is, man. Dolly Parton is one of the kindest humans. I think she's even sexier now than she was when she was a young bird.

How much do you think they weigh? What are we talking about? He's talking about Dolly's knocks. I was trying to work out a number in my head. If you donate a million dollars, it would be like so many dollars per ounce of breastage. That's not what Dolly's known for, though. Yes, I mean, it is. She's known for music.

Oh, yeah, Ricky. She wrote some fucking hits, let me tell you. And do you know, I bet you didn't know this. I like the song about the colors and the coat. Coat of many colors. How's that go? That coat of many colors my mama made for me you know code of many colors elvis did it too okay yeah yeah if elvis did it i definitely know

yeah i like that song that millie siren did the bile eco cyrus Bile Eko. Cyrus. Jolene. Yes! That was a good one, too. Jolene. That was a good one. Working 9 to 5. Yeah. That's something I really cranked in the car, I'm going to be honest. Here's something you didn't know, I bet. I'm probably going to agree with the rightnessness with you.

And I, I will always love Dolly Parton. Dolly Parton did that song, man. I bet it wasn't as good. Dolly wrote it. Yeah, but Whitney can sing it. But listen to this. Dolly wrote that and Jolene on the same day. Hello.

You can't write two of those in one day. Let's write two mega hits. That's insane. Holy fuck. She cranked up Jolene and I Will Always Love You. How much money did Whitney make for her? Oh, Dolly. Back to the question. How much do those gazungas weigh?

Each. How much do you think? I don't even care. I don't either. He asked the question. I just don't like to answer. Muscle weighs more than fat, so it's probably not a ton. I don't know, seven pounds each?

Okay. Seven pounds each. Too much? Too little? Maybe more than that, Ricky. Depends what's in them, I guess. 12 to 15. If they're full of milk, they'd be heavy. Or silicone. Okay.

If they're straight up real. Oh, boys. We got to stop talking about this. You got to just. Right now. Yeah, too many. Holy fuck. All right, let's totally got to just. Right now. Yeah. Too many. Holy fuck. All right.

Let's totally switch it up. All right. Good. Did you guys know Joe Biden's dead? Nope. What? Yeah. Bunch of actresses are playing him.

Ricky. Jim Carrey's one of them. He came out and said, yep, it's true. What are you talking about? He played him on Saturday Night Live. No, I know. But apparently Biden, I don't know if it was something he ate or if he got sick, but he Ricky.

Passed away quietly among family and friends. Ricky, you're fucking real. And they're like, fuck, the country's too fucked right now. We can't tell the country's presidents to go on. So we've got a band together here. Let's hire the most talented actors. Ricky. We look sort of like them.

You've got to stop thinking about this shit. I read it. I was up on reading about it. No, this was like on the news. What news? Internet news. Truth news, I think it was called. Mm-hmm.

Right. Okay, so Jim Carrey. So when I see Joe Biden on CNN giving a speech, that's Jim Carrey. Maybe. Or it could be one of the other actors. There's a bunch of them. Oh, there's a bunch of them. Well, you can't have one guy playing.

Fuck, you'd never be able to. So how many people are playing him? They've proven at least three. Proven? With DNA. With DNA, Ricky? Who's DNA? I don't know.

What the fuck, Rick? But the internet doesn't lie. You're so fucked, man. So they found three people with the exact dimensions as Joe Biden. And obviously he's wearing a mask. No, no, when he's sitting at the desk, it doesn't really matter. He could be 5'10", 5'11". It doesn't really matter.

But when he's standing up going to the plane, that guy's the exact dimensions. Took him a while to find him. I think they found him over in Europe somewhere. He has an accent, but he has this box that he puts on. What the fuck are you talking about? A voice box? Are you listening to him? A translator voice box that eliminates his accent?

This is like the Matrix shit or something, man. What the fuck is going on here? It sounds just like him. What? Fucking technology voice. It's crazy. She is fucking nuts. Wow.

What's on this label? Fuck, Ricky. Read it close. How many did you take, by the way? Six. Six of them. Too many. Oh, them. Too many. Oh, man. It's label.

Cousins are fucked. Wow. Okay. See, just when you think we're fucked as kids, we're not. There was a four-year-old over the Netherlands, took his mother's car for a drive, crashed it, joyride. We were not. There was a four-year-old over the Netherlands, took his mother's car for a drive, crashed it. Joyride.

We were normal. Yeah, we wouldn't crash. No, we didn't crash. People were like, I can't believe you guys were driving a fucking car when you were five. It's like, well... Well, Ricky, just because one other person on the planet did it doesn't mean it's normal.

But this motherfucker is smart. It was a standard. Four. Driving a stick. Okay, that's impressive. Fucking right. He might get was a standard. Four. Driving a stick. Okay, that's impressive. Fucking right. He might get away driver anytime. How tall was this little fucker?

Four-year-olds can't really. He was tall enough to reach the pedals. He had to reach the clutch. They had to put the clutch in. Yeah, that's what he did. So he was like fucking getting down and then popping up. He was probably. He was just sitting around.

The cop's like, how'd the car get here? He's like, well, me. He's like, go up this up door, fuck, puts the clutch in, starts her up, starts giving a bit of gas. The cop's like, holy fuck, okay. You're looking. See, that guy's going to be, he's going to make it as a criminal. Or an F1 driver.

I'd say a criminal, man. He's fucking stealing cars. He's probably going to be a getaway driver. Totally, man. Unless he became an actor or a stunt driver or something. I don't fucking know, boys. Julian, this could make your cock pretty hurt. Awesome.

It's the bottle of scotch. Uh-huh. It's bigger than a... Oh, man, it's fucking huge. It's going up for auction. They're figuring it's probably going to get like 1.5 million pounds. For a fuck, that's like 3 million fucking dollars. But listen to this.

The bottle, 5 foot 11. Whoa. That's almost your size, my fucker. That's fucking... It's just a couple inches. All right, how much? It's a 32-year-old Macallan. Holy fuck.

32-year-old Macallan. It's 311 liters of liquor. 311 liters. 311 liters. It's actually not a bad deal when you break it down you mean if you broke the bottle you would be fucked it's in a glass bottle yep what kind of girth is on the bottle i didn't measure the girth how much is it away fuck guys you're killing me here 311 liters It would have to be a drum size, wouldn't it? Yeah, I'd say so, man.

Like an oil barrel? How many liters in an oil barrel? How about this? It's over 150 fucking two-liter bottles of pop. Google. That's a lot. Put this into your Googler. How many liters in an oil barrel?

How many liters in an oil barrel? How many liters in an oil barrel? Well, it's what, 50 gallons? It's a 50-gallon barrel. That's right. Four liters in a gallon or a little more. So it's 200, what? I think it's four liters in a gallon. So 200 liters.

200 liters? Right. We've got 158 liters. Fuck. In a 50, just say 50. One in an oil barrel. Okay. 50, so 100. So we're looking like two of those babies. Two oil 158 liters. Fuck. Just say 50. One oil barrel. Okay. 50 to 100.

So we're looking like two of those babies. Two oil barrels, basically. Stacked up. That's a big fucking bottle. That's a dirty fucking bottle. But it might have a bigger girth. And, you know, if it's only 511, it's got to be bigger around than an oil barrel. You need this bottle, man.

She's about that big around. If you bought it for 1.5, we could sell fucking three quarters of it. You'd have enough liquor for life. Well, you wouldn't, but. But that's the thing. You could sell it by the drink. Oh, so now you're cooking with fucking a stove? Yeah, you sold it by the drink.

I mean, a 32-year-old Macallan, if you're in a fancy restaurant and you want a 32 year old Macallan, that's $100 a shot. How much does this thing weigh? I don't know. Why does that? How much does 300 How much does a liter of liquor weigh? I can just say how much

does 300. There's a lot of factors here, Julian. You're not taking into account. I'm just going to approximate here. How much does... Approximation. 300. An approximation? Is there such thing as an approximation?

He's wondering now, man. That's a math guy that approximates things. That's him. All right. It should be a rap song about a conversion here we go i'm a magician i'm an approximatition oh okay it doesn't sound happy it fucking weighs more than a holbert mixer but 661 pounds a liter of liquor and I know. That's not even the container

that it's in. So that's the big bottle? Yeah. So it's about, you're looking at about 700 pounds. So you could lift it. You could easily lift it and pour a drink.

No. So you'd need a funnel. No, we'd need like a funnel system. If you sold it per ounce. You could pick it up and just pour one drink out of it. Riddle me this. No.

Riddle me this there. Approximation. What? Bring it on. How many ounces? Whoa. In 311 liters. How many ounces in 311 liters?

Good question. Sell it by the ounce. And then we're going to divide that ounces by the monetary value. See if it's worth it. We'll see. In a liter? In 311 liters? Correct. 311 liters. How many ounces? it's worth it. Let's see. A liter in 311 liters. 311 liters. How many ounces?

It's over a million. We're in good shape. Come on. Don't. Whoa! Whoa! Over 10,500. Times three.

Well, that's for 100 liters. What are you times this by by 500 i don't know times by three okay there's 10 000 there's a reason i don't know why there's around 10 000 ounces in 300 liters yeah man okay so 10 000 ounces 500 and how much was it selling for 5 million it's gonna divide that by 10 000 so $1.5 million. It's got to divide that by $10,000. So go $1.5 million divided by $10,500. What? She'll do that in her head, can't she? $1.5 million?

Yeah. Million and a half divided by 10,000 ounces. That'll be $1,500. That'll tell you what you've got to sell it per ounce for. No, $150 an ounce. Is it? I think so. Here, I can do it.

What? What are we trying to accomplish here? Become millionaires? If we sold it by the ounce. Just listen. If we sold it for $200 an ounce, we're making $50 an ounce profit. $200? Who's going to buy this for $200 an ounce every year?

$10,000 is fucking half a million dollars profit. But we're not selling it. It's $32. We're not going to sell it. We know lots of people are going to fucking buy it for $200 an ounce. People would just to say, hey, I'm fucking rich. You know why I said three? I was thinking three bucks an ounce just to get the fuck out of her face.

No, no, you're fucking... No, it's 142 bucks an ounce. Yeah, man. All right, so we sell it for 100... No, that's pounds. Oh, see, now we're fucking rich. All right, now we're talking. Oh, no, that's bad.

That's bad. No, no, no, no. Okay, we're not buying it. Okay, if we do... No, we're not going to get this. It's about $300 an ounce we'd have to sell it for in Canadian dollars. Yeah, but if you get it for free, then you can sell it for whatever the fuck you want just to make what you want.

Yeah, but what I'm saying is people will pay that for the 32-milliliter. Okay, you know what? Edibles and bath, not good. No. So I'm going gonna interrupt this if you were pouring the drinks as part of the experience with your

with your you know aggression level sex pipes I'm gonna take this point in the POD to say

fuck you Elliot Tanner fuck you fuck you Elliot who's that fucking little prick from Minnesota why

he's 13 he got his goddamn physics degree. Fuck off. Good for him, man. He's just showing off things. It's not. He's just fucking smart.

And he did it. Why would you tell him to fuck off? I'm jealous. Unless he was a dick. So he was a jealous fuck off. But he probably is not a dick. It's probably awesome and I'm just jealous. But fuck you anyway.

God damn it. College degree. 13 fucking years old. Physics. Physics is tough, isn't it it's not so they say it takes a lot of work to get what he just did room around the bush takes a lot of work to get what he just did done whoa all right so physics degree what four years maybe physics masters in physics i have a master's in physics.

So little fuck started university when he was nine? I have the equivalent of a master's in physics. Self-taught, but I could... If I was at, you know, Cambridge or one of those places, I could do physics. Okay. We believe you, man. This woman split up from her fucking husband.

I guess he was an asshole. Fuck him. And she was cleaning up all his shit the shit she found plans in his toolbox to what not to rob something no it was at all dimensions for her coffin no you fucking kidding me then on the title it said vacation plans vacation plans and the measurements were her exact fucking measurements. For a coffin. Yeah. Yeah, but he could just say, I was just building a coffin.

He's a fucking psycho. Maybe. Or I guess maybe she pushed him too far. No, I mean, he shouldn't be building coffins. Like, why would he like, you hate her that much, just dump her. Exactly. Why would you build her a fucking office? Why do you kill?

It's dumb. Yeah, he could just break up with her. It'd be much easier. This one's super fucked. But this is real. Because the other one wasn't. Okay, the Jim Carrey thing might not be true. I don't know.

But this is on, like, a reputable news fucking place. Okay. Toronto Sun, I think, actually. Who's real? Mm-hmm. Yes, they are. Tropicana, the orange juice company, are coming out with a fucking cereal

meant to be consumed with orange juice instead of milk. That would be fucking delicious. It's a honey and almond cereal. Oh, my Jesus. I can't picture it. I can't. Ricky, it would be... You imagine ice cold orange juice, honey

and almonds. No. Oh my fuck. I like the orange juice by itself. No. Okay, you know. Honey and almond orange juice cereal, sign me up. If Joe Pichini comes up with this, we're going to fucking try it right

here. And we're either going to fucking try it right here. And we're either going to puke. You know what? I don't know if it's the edibles, but I'm like. You're in between? No, I'm fucking drooling here, man. I want some. Okay, fuck. You know what?

I imagine I would take a bite of that and I would fucking pop an umbrella and throw it away like Mary Poppins. I'd be so happy. I'd throw some fucking rum in it as well. There's supposed to be some news. There's supposed to be some news. There's supposed to be some news. Think of that. About it coming out today, later. So we're going to find out if this is going to be a real deal-y thing.

You know what's making me think it would be great? You're right. It's picturing vodka. I was picturing vodka. Put some vodka in that motherfucker. Vodka all day. Yeah, or a tequila sunrise. And you're getting drunk while you're eating breakfast.

Yeah. Cool, cool, cool. I love it, I love it. That's how we start the day. We should try that. Where can we sign up? We could just make some. Liquor breakfast. Almonds and fucking honey.

Who do we know that drinks a lot of liquor that we could use as a guinea pig? I'll fucking try. I'm joking. Of course it's you. What do you mean by that? Fuck you, man. Jesus. All right.

So what's up, guys? What are you all smiling about? You took a big drink. That was good. A big drink. Just wait. Who's dialing us here? Oh, somebody?

Oh, awesome. Let's talk to somebody, man. No. I'm getting sick of talking to you guys. I thought my phone was ringing, but it's not. That's your brain, buddy. I wonder who got, oh, who got Barnes? Thrifty woman spends just seven bucks a month on food,

saves up to $80,000 in four years. Whatever. You sounded like Frankie McDonald there for a second. She spends how much a month? Seven bucks a month on food. Oh, fuck off. You can't eat fucking Mr. Noodle for that. You can do it.

Seven bucks a month. She's in the dumpsters, obviously. She's dumpster diving. Wow, I'm really happy for you seeing it. Get going. $80,000 over four years, but you're weird. You're a weird person to hang out with. She saved $80,000. So she would spend $40,000 a year on food? No, over four years, but you're weird. You're a weird person to hang out with. Oh, she saved 80 grand?

So she was spending 40 grand a year on food? No, over four years. Oh, yeah. 20 grand a year. That's about right, I guess, isn't it? Yeah, 20 grand a year on food. That's a lot. Awesome.

20 grand a year. Keep going. No, it'd be more than that with the price of groceries today. I went in the fucking other day and bought stuff to make a nice salad. It was like they wanted 38 bucks for lettuce and mushrooms and some pepper. I said, drive them right up your fucking arse, and I left. Try to buy a fucking prime rib roast, and they wonder why we steal it. Exactly.

Fuck. There was crab legs at Costco. You know how much they wanted? How much? 160 bucks. Well, I can sell them to you for half that. Big time. I can get you some for free.

I'm not paying 80 bucks for crab legs either, Ricky. 40 bucks. Yours. 20 bucks. I got you. 20 bucks for king crab legs. I will get you some for 20 bucks. 10.

Let's see. Does anybody good that got born on May the 6th so we can celebrate? Sigmund Freud. Doesn't he the cocksucker that got hot-eaten by the tiger in Vegas? What? Sigmund Freud? No, man. He didn't get bit by a tiger in Vegas.

Way not him. Sigmund Freud, Ricky? That's Siegfried and Roy. Oh, yeah. Siegfried and Roy. Okay. Siegfried and Roy. Okay. Jesus Christ. Sigmund Freud was a sex guy.

Was he the motherfucker? He talked a lot about... Was that where that expression came from? He had a lot of theories about, yes, about... I read a book in jail about him and his mom there was a kiss I don't know I forget exactly

no he just said all of your problems later on can be traced back to coming out of your mother or something like that mother yes

talking about mothers wow Orson Welles Orson Welles it's pronounced well there's an extra e I know but it's pronounced Welles Orson Welles Orson Welles It's pronounced Well there's an extra E I know but It's pronounced

Welles Orson Welles He's got to change that He was overrated What? Orson Welles Okay Did he like the booze though?

Was that that dude Or was it No it was Hemingway Who was on the booze bag I don't think Orson Welles Was a booze bag He might have been Willie Mays Willie Mays.

Willie Mays. Now, listen to some of these fucking stats. I don't give a fuck if you don't even know who he is. This is insane. 24 times MLB All-Star. Yeah, I mean, Willie Mays. 12 times Gold Glove Award. Like, that'll never happen again.

No, he was Willie Mays. Willie Amaze. Willie Amaze. Yeah. Reuben Hurricane Carter got born on May the 6th. Hurricane Carter. Yeah. Hurricane.

Tough motherfucker. Yeah, we met him. We did, didn't we? We did meet the Hurricane. We met somebody that Bob Dylan sang a song about. Yeah. And he was going to get me some boxing gloves signed. And then I think he died.

That sucked. Yeah, he died in 2014. It's funny you haven't reached out to his estate. Well, I'm planning on it. It's a hard person to fucking get a hold of, you know, when they're gone. Bob Seger. Poor bastard. I can't believe he fell down.

Died in his hotel bed. Who? Bob Seger. Oh, yeah. No. Why are you bringing that up? That wasn't Bob Seger. I just't believe he fell down. Died in his hotel bed. Who? Bob Seger. Oh, yeah. No. Why are you bringing that up? That wasn't Bob Seger. I just feel bad for him.

That wasn't Bob Seger. That was Bob Saget. Saget. Yeah, I knew he was fucked. Oh, yeah. Okay, no, I fucked that up. Sorry. Bob Seger's one of your...

So Bob Seger's still alive, right? He's one of your favorite singers, Ricky. He is. Remember you would sing Night Moves? You thought it was about man boobs. I did? Yeah. You used to sing

working on my night moves and you used to do that. Get the moat. Like, you know, my night moons. Exactly. You used to say moves, night moves.

It was night moves. Anyway, that's not Bob Saget. Poor Bob Saget. Yeah. I'm fucked down with rock and roll. Or something like that. What the fuck was that?

I'm fucking down with rock and roll. That's not the words, but right melody. Got a music. Music. Makes you throw. Makes you go. Fuck, I don't remember the thing

I have to okay we're gonna listen to Bob later on it'll come back to you when we get going that kind of music just makes you go

that's the lyric that kind of music just makes you go I'm fucking down with rock and roll yeah Plank that was awesome boy he said let's plank the fuck out of there I'm crank down with rock and roll Yeah That was awesome, boy I said let's plank the fuck out of there

I'm cranking the fuck Plank it Plank it, man Holy fuck, George George, make a Julian Hard Clooney What? George, make a Julian Hard Clooney? No, man

That's not his name Oh, fuck Julian Hart Clooney? No, man. That's not his name. Oh, fuck. Jordan Maynard, Julian. Hardy. Clooney. Clooney. Clooney.

All right, so it's George Clooney's birthday. It is. And I believe it was you that first talked about how he's one of the sexier men with some grayish hair. Oh, man. That was not me. You used to say George Clooney makes me hoony. I did not, Bob. George Clooney makes me hoony.

Sexy gray. The silver fox. Yes, that's what you call them. You guys are fucked. He's got a lot of money, man. Silver tiger, actually. You guys got a lot of cash. I the Silver Tiger. He's got a lot of money, man. You guys got a lot of cash. I do respect him.

He does his shit together. And the last person we're going to mention that got born on this day, Martin Brodeur. Martin Brodeur. It doesn't say how many fucking awards he got, but he was a lot. He was awesome. Brodeur? Yeah, he did well.

He did well, yes. he got but he was a lot he was awesome bro door yeah he did well he did well yes he won he won 16 awards major ones hot or not julian you know what ricky there's a new tv show coming out it's called ice wars you guys hear about that no snowball fight it's about hockey players instead of playing hockey though they just get out fight all right that was our fucking concept. I know. We should try to soothe these people. Fucking Jesus.

Are you kidding me? It's just all, that's it. Mad fighting. Are they fighting on the ice? On the ice in gear? Yes. We talked about this fucking show ten years ago. And now somebody's doing it.

Oh, fuck me. I'm so pissed off right now. I'm going to bed. Yeah? All right. Well, not yet. Oh, no. We're going to get drunk first.

Ice wars. We're going to talk about going to get drunk first. Ice Wars. We're going to talk about trying to get me the fuck off. Well, somebody actually took the initiative to do it. Did it? Well, in their defense, I mean, we didn't really get off our asses and pull it together. That's what I'm saying. I bet this is what happened, because we get drunk and high a lot on tour buses in different places. We talk about ideas, and boom.

And then we didn't know Dougie's a a producer there and the next day it's boom i have no idea remember moonshiners fucked us yeah moonshiners was definitely our show before it was moonshiners that's right fuckers just never imagine that we could have been traveling around drinking booze we just never did anything about it. That was the problem. Well, we actually traveled with that one. There should be a Julian Licker travel show where you sample. That would have been my dream job, bud. Sample leckers around the world.

For fuck's sakes. Now I'm just doing this. What would that show be called if it was just like you? You're like Anthony Bourdain, but with lecker. That's a good one. What could we call that? The Liquor Fairy. No, man. No, because it's got to have a tougher sound than that.

Julian's Liquor Journey. Julian's Liquor Journeys. Around the world in 80 shots. Mussels in a garlic cream sauce. That's like, what kind of show is that, man? Ricky, that has nothing to do with the show. Jesus Christ. Garlic cream sauce?

Tonight, mussels in garlic cream sauce. William's going to try the fucking moonshine and... God, man, that's not fucking... Mussels in a garlic cream sauce. Julian's going to try the fucking moonshine and... God, man. That's not fucking... Mussels in a garlic cream sauce is a good... It's got a good ring to it. We've got a fucking clip of a show bath. Sipping on liquors.

Round the world in 80 ounces. Oh, I like that fucking ring of that. Look at this shit. This is it. Like, that's a fuck. Who wants... Everybody wants to watch that. I watched the fuck out of that.

I'm so jealous. Like, fuck. They got the refs out there. But do they have real... Are they real hockey players? Yeah. No, they must be. But they can't be, like, NHL.

The NHL team... No, man. East Coast boys, bro. Is it? Oh, yeah. These boys are giving it. God damnL. The NHL team. East Coast boys, bro, is it? Oh, yeah, these boys are giving it. God damn it. It's in Alberta. What's it on?

It's on fight. I'm fucking pissed. I can't believe someone else is doing that show. Ice Wars. All right. That was fucking nice to know. It's a dumb show. It sounds like something that takes place up in the ice sheets.

Fucking trying to live against a polar bear. Ice Wars? Yeah. Well, they're on a fucking, they're on an ice surface fighting. So it basically, that's what it is. It's a pretty good name. It's a very good name. I want to shoot around the world in 80 ounces.

Yeah. In 80 ounces. Around the world in 80 ounces. Julians. Mussels in a Garlic Cream Sauce. It wouldn't be enough liquor. No, that could be the title of episode one, though. Yeah, Around the World in 80 Ounces.

No, no, Mussels in a Garlic Cream Sauce. Episode one. So where would episode one be? Where would we go? Mussels in a Garlic Cream Sauce. He should be in Italy. Yeah. Enjoying some pasta and garlic cream sauce or he could be bathing

in garlic cream he could be in a garlic muscle bath you're in a garlic cream tub up in the hill different types of wines italian i'm not getting into a bath of fucking garlic butter garlic cream sauce well the same fucking diff, man. It's the same as muscle milk. It's garlic. I'll smoke a fucking garlic. And I think you're in Tuscany. I think you're in Tuscany. Do they have Italian, like, rum over there?

Some good shit? Yeah. What about Italian whiskey? That probably doesn't happen. I don't think that exists. Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure there's wine-flavored whiskey. You know what?

I mean, they have a lot of wine barrels. They must do something with them. Yeah, they probably have great whiskey, actually. All right. Well, that's right. Wine-flavoured whiskey. I'll check out the flights. You know what?

We're going to do something like this, maybe. Maybe. I need a travel show, too. All right. Doing what? Let's go crank some Bob Seger and look through your George Clooney calendar from ten years ago. See if it affects your attraction level sex pipes. You guys are fucked.

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