Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 50 - Jim Lahey is Drunk and on Drugs

Episode Date: July 13, 2016

Bubbles had to skip the podcast, but don’t worry, he is supplying a surprise replacement… and that replacement is a drunk bastard who accidentally ate two weed brownies! Jim Lahey joins Ricky and Julian to talk about Humper S. Thompson, fish bras, and the traumatizing event that changed the way Randy dresses. Episode 50 is brought to you by the Official Trailer Park Boys Store, and Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky!        

Rick, you gotta get into the game here, bud. I'm telling you, man, this is a bad fucking idea. This is not a bad fucking idea. This is gonna be... Just have a nap till Bubbles gets back, and we'll fucking do it then. He's not coming back. Why? This is... I'm running the show today. I don't think you're able to do such a thing.

Why would you fucking say that? I do most of the work on the podcast anyway. What do you do normally? I've got the computer here. I'm always looking up, you know, fun little stories and facts and shit for people, stuff that's trending, all that bullshit. I know, but Bubbles is like,

he's the guy that has it all together and runs the show, right? No, I tell him that he's basically running the show and that he's the main host just to fucking make him feel good, but he's not here today. I'm in charge. It's gonna be one of the best podcasts yet. But he's kind of like the funny one and the cute one. No, you're the funny one. You just gotta smoke a lot. There's a joint right there already rolled.

Dig into that whenever you want. I'll get high with you. You rolled me a joint for this? Huh? You rolled me up a joint for this? Yeah. See, now you're fucking getting my attention. There's a drink there for you.

Lots of goodies. I got the drink. That's fine. Well, there's more booze right here. Help yourself, man. This is going to be, I'd say, one of the best podcasts. Where the fuck is Bubbles? He didn't want to get into it because, you know, he's kind of,

he gets embarrassed when you talk about him and women and stuff, but he's got a date today. He's going to meet this girl for lunch. Yeah. Bubbles has a date. He's got a date. With a chick? Of course it's with a chick.

What else would it be with? Well, the opposite of a chick. Dude, you think that Bubbles could... Well, you never know. He could be into dudes. Could be. Who cares? I know, man. It's with a chick. He's been... He's got a crush on Bieber.

He doesn't have a crush on Bieber. He said he wants to go on a trip and try to meet Bieber. He's a huge fan. Well, yeah, I... And that was after the picture with him with no shirt on came out. Yeah, but I think he wants to meet him just to hang out meet Bieber. He's a huge fan. Well, yeah. And that was after the picture with him with no shirt on came out. Yeah, but I think he wants to meet him just to hang out with Bieber because it's Bieber, man, not because he wants to bang him. He's got Bieber fever.

He does have Bieber fever. It's kind of annoying. Is it fever or fevers? Is it beaver or Bieber? It's Bieber, not a beaver. So when I say Bieber fever? Bieber fever. Is it beaver or beaver? It's beaver, not a beaver. So when I say beaver fever? Beaver fever.

It doesn't make sense. It's either beaver fever or beaver fever. What is a fever? There's no such thing as fever. What's a beaver? Beaver is the last name. Ricky. It's beaver fever. Okay, so he's got a fucking date with a person.

Let's just leave it at that. Okay, with a chick. What's he doing on this fabulous date of his? I don't know, man. Is he taking her for... Lunch or something. Chinese food? Maybe Chinese food.

Poutine? Hot dogs? It doesn't matter, man. He's on a date. Hopefully things will work out. He should take her to an afternoon movie. There's usually not a lot of people there. He can get the second or maybe even third base.

Bob's not going to take a chick and start finger-banging her in the movie theater, man. I guarantee you that's not going to happen. Well, it wouldn't be finger-banging if it was not a chick. I guess it would be a little bit of hand action. He's not jacking off Bieber in the fucking movie theater today, if it is Bieber. It'd be quite a fucking story, I have to say. Oh, yeah, he'd definitely get caught. But people do go to the movie theaters and jack off.

A lot of people have been caught. That Pee Wee guy. Or was it, no, George Michael, was it? No, he was jacking somebody off, I think, in a bathroom. That was at a park or something. That wasn't in a movie theater. But there's other people that got caught jacking off in the bathroom as well. There's that older dude.

Sam Elliott? No, it's like a Sam Elliott kind of guy got caught jacking off. No, I was thinking Dick Van Dyke. It wasn't him. That would be pretty special. But it's someone up there between, you know, Dick Van Dyke and Sam Elliott. Somebody within that group got caught jacking off. And he was like, fuck, I was jacking off.

Whoop-dee-shit. I agree. So... You jack off in a movie theater? No, I'm just saying if you get caught, you may as well just fucking embrace it. Yeah, true enough. Yeah, fucking jack it off. Or maybe just jack off at home.

I'm a horny man. All right, so anyway, he said he's got a guest coming in who's going to help us out. He just said get the fucking thing going, and then someone's going to arrive and help us out. He said this guest is going to be cool. Did he tell you, get the fucking thing going and then someone's going to arrive and help us out. He said, this guest is going to be cool. Did he tell you where he was taking her or him?

No, he just said he was taking her or him to lunch. I know where he fucking is. He went to fucking see Floppy and hang out with Floppy again. No, he didn't.

He poached my fucking pet seal. He did. He's been fucking hanging out with it, feeding it mackerel. That would be a good place to take a date. Be all fucking cute. He might get the home plate. No, you know what he's doing. He doesn't have a date.

He's just going to hang out with Floppy. Better not, because he's not taking Floppy over. Floppy's my Floppy. Oh, well, now he's his Floppy, obviously. I think we've got actually some footage that we might want to show right now. Chipper, throw the floppy footage on. My floppy being poached by bubbles. Who's got your belly? Who's got your belly?

All right, so we've got to get... Can we just get this started? I guess so. All right, this is the official Trailer Prep Boys podcast. Notice how I said official because I'm in control right now. It is the official Trailer Park Boys podcast. Notice how I said official because I'm in control right now. It's the official Trailer Park Boys podcast. Coming at you, it's episode what? 86.

It's episode 49, I think. So 49, we're almost to one year, man. 52 weeks. Yeah, another three or four weeks. Actually, this is number 50. I fucked up. We've got two more, and then it's going to be the one year. And then the one year.

No, it's at 52. What the fuck are you doing here? I have to say anything. I just have to say I made a mistake this morning. I had two brownies. They were fucking randy brownies, and then I drank bottle and but bubbles asked me to be here So I said I fucking would almost didn't ask you to buddy. Ask me to come here. No no no no He didn't ask you to come here. He's got a special guest that's coming that

Is not you oh? Good then I'm off the hook fuck. I don't feel do you mind if I have just one? Oh, you're not gonna have any of my fucking boobs. Just to help me steady myself. Like, who dressed you this morning? You got your collar tucked inside. Like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Oh, the collar is fucked.

I was at the barber, Julian, because I had my beard. Remember last time you saw me, I had a beard? I went to the barber, and the barber got this for me. Now, there's no way you... You're not allowed to have one of these. I'm for the Julian. Well, you guys do look a lot alike right now. You got the same fucking Fisher hat.

Yeah, what the fuck is going on? That's not for me to say so. I think so. I just want a little drink. You're not gonna have... I'll leave. Just get the fuck out of here. I don't know if it's for drinking.

It's for our sponsor, isn't it? What, this one? Lickerman's? I think so. All right, I got a deal. Hold up one of these fucking sweaters to the camera and say, buy one of these. What are they?

The other way, though. Julian Sports Bar. For fuck's sake, Julian. Holy fuck. You can put it on. What if I put it on? Hey, man, those are nice clocks. I didn't even see them.

Oh man. Those are nice clocks. See, we got clocks over here. Oh yeah, by the way, this part... Horn dog? Who's a horn dog? There's just all kinds of shit coming at us. That's Willy Goat.

Gotta talk about the sponsors. This is being sponsored by Trailer Prep Boys, Merch.com, new website. Willy Goat. It's quality. It's quality shit. Look, they've got all kinds of sizes on the store. Got these nice clocks going. I'm not sure if they're out yet or not, but there's clocks.

Wow, you look kind of like a badass, I must say. Listen, this is just incredible. How much are these? For you? $400. What the fuck? $400 what? Pesos. You know, but don't wear that, okay? Just don't wear it in public.

It makes me feel... Do you mind if I just sit down for a second? Does it feel like you could drink more in that sweater? Shirt? Drink is not the problem. Julian, you might be wondering why I shaved like this. It's because I have a special favor to ask you. What's that?

And it is true that Bubbles asked me to come here today. I swear. Asshole. He did. He said you can be a special guest. So Bubbles is stealing my fucking pet, floppy. Maybe, or may not be the jacking off Bieber or finger blasting somebody at the movie theater. And now he's sending you here for me to fucking deal with?

Like, this is a great day. Good times. That is an incredible liquor. That's good shit. Where can you get this? In the liquor store. Not in everywhere. You can't get it in Ontario. Well, okay, I'm looking...

I was in Ontario, and they didn't have any. It's coming to Ontario soon, I think. Right now, you could probably drink piss in the taste of it. Where do you go to buy the merchandise, guys? No idea. Some stupid fucking name of a website. It's getting better. It's trailerpertboys.com.

Trailerpert Boys. Fucking easy to remember. Merch.com. I'm going to buy one of these things. How much does it cost? Now, you're not wearing that lady. I'm going to take this one. I'm fucking taking this one for doing the advertising.

Bull fucking shit. I was doing free fucking... You've got this for the advertisement. Deal. You're not wearing anything that doing free fucking advertising. You've got this for the advertisement. Deal. You're not wearing anything that has me on it. Fuck that. Julian? Yeah, no, that's not gonna happen.

It could be a different Julian. No, they know what's... It's a Julian's bar and gym, man. Julian? It could be Julian that fucked up the, uh... Icky Leagues or... The who? Pity Keys or whatever the fuck the...

Never mind. What the Pity Keys? What? It was a Julian, wasn't he? The fucked up the what? Icky leaks or the who pity key there whatever the fuck that never mind I want the baby keys right who's a Julian wasn't he the fucked up the what licky leak sir the lick what what is the licky leaks I bring a leaks the Julian Assange's boom yeah see fucking dummy yeah what the fuck II I can't understand you you're slurring who's dumb and who's dumber now? What the fuck? What, are you on his side? I don't know.

He doesn't know what he's talking about. Jim, that's because I had brownies for breakfast. I'm sorry. How much liquor did you have for breakfast? What was the particular liquor that I had for breakfast? Yeah. It was decanted. I don't know what I poured in there, but it was a mixture.

A decanted. I poured it all in one same bottle. So... It was a little of this and a little of that. That's fucked. That's quite a way to start the day. Well, that's how alcoholics usually start their day, with a fucking crazy-ass drink like that.

Julian, I have a question for you. What? Under what circumstances, first of all, have you ever heard of the Randy and Leahy Show? Or the Leahy and Randy Show? What the fuck is it called? I thought it was called the Randy Show and Leahy. Something like that.

The other show, another show that's on this swearing in. Yeah, yeah. Have you ever seen that shit? I've never watched it. Neither have I, Julian, so we're fucking even, but I'll just tell you one thing that you should remember. Forget what I was gonna say. All right, moving on.

Oh, yeah, I want you to be a guest. One, no. Yeah, yeah, I want you to be a guest. That's a great idea. Yeah, well, isn't that a great idea? Yeah, I think you'll have a really good time, Julian. And it should be for a goatee contest, and we should invite all the handsome fucking dudes

around with our cookies. I really wanna sit around with a bunch of dudes around. We got cookies. We can... I really want to sit around with a bunch of dudes with fucking goatees. No, no, no. It would be at the Metro Center. There'd be thousands of them there with their goats. Are you... what? They'd win prizes. Sounds like a good time. You should do it, man.

Dude, would you shut the fuck up? I would not want to do that. That's the last fucking thing in the world I'd want to do. You could put on a goatee clinic. Or set up a booth. Go into a goatee contest and hang out with a bunch of guys and him.

I've seen some of the shows and I think you would have a lot of fun. They treat their guests very well. They, uh, yeah, you know,

you'd have a really good time. What's so fucking funny? Nothing. Just go on the show and you'll find it. Not gonna, it's not gonna happen. The lady doesn't even drink.

And he's not attracted to any of the guests. You don't have to worry about that. Like, what the fuck is he doing on these shows? It's not... Like, why are you moving over closer to me? I don't wanna see what you're looking at. Jesus Christ. Pablo Escobar. Oh, look, did you know I can do card tricks?

Can I say? I'm sure the people watching this, they're just gonna love seeing a fucking card trick. I'm not gonna listen to it, I can't see it. Give me one minute. One minute for the card trick, okay? We take a deck of cards like this, right? Yep. And we go like this.

Like that. That was great. And we hold the cards up like this. And then we take the cards like this, we take them like that, put them like this, and then we go like that. And we go like this, we take them like that, put them like this, and then we go like that. And we go like this, and we go ta-da! And it's fucking blow your mind. That was pretty fucked, I have to tell you.

I can know how he did it. Could be the drugs. Right up close. It's just a card trick. It's a good one. It's a shitty one. So you started your day with liquor. Yeah.

And we were reading this fucking thing about this, we're kind of fans of Hunter S. Thompson fella. Oh, fuck, he's wonderful. He's a fucking nightmare. They shot his remains in a cannonball up to the Earth of orbits. So we should compare how he spends his day to how you spend your day. He did. No, I know he is now.

I don't know much about him except people said, you should play him on the stage. And I said, yeah, okay. He used to get up at 3 p.m. Yeah. Then he'd start with Chivas Regal with the morning paper. How are you bullshitting me? He didn't get up to drink.

3.05, yeah. 3.05 to drink. This is the schedule. 3.45. Tell me about drink. 3.05, yeah. 3.05 to drink. This is the schedule. 3.45. Tell me about it. 3.45, cocaine. 3.50, another glass of Chivas. 4.05, first cup of coffee and some Dunhill.

4.15, cocaine. Dunhill. 4.16, orange juice, Dunhill. With a cigarette? I guess so. 4.30, cocaine. 4.51, cocaine. cigarette? I guess so. 4.30, cocaine. 4.51, cocaine. 5.05, cocaine.

No. 5.11, coffee, Dunhill's. No, no, no, no. 5.30, more ice and Chivas. 5.45, cocaine. 6 p.m., grass to take the edge off. Take the edge off. 7.05, you'd head to the Woody Creek Tavern.

They used to go there every day. For lunch, you would get a Heineken, two margaritas, two cheeseburgers, two orders of fries, a plate of tomatoes. That's an odd one. Coleslaw, a taco salad, double order of onion rings, carrot cake, ice cream, bean fritter.

Dunhill's, another Heineken, cocaine. And for the ride home, a snow cone. A glass of shredded ice over which is poured three or four jiggers of Chivas. 9 p.m., cocaine. 10 p.m., drops acid. 11 p.m., chartreuse, cocaine, grass. 11.30, cocaine. This is insane.

This is not true. Midnight. No, nobody can do that. At midnight, he's ready to write. So he starts work at midnight. Oh, nobody can do that. At midnight, he's ready to write. So he starts work at midnight.

Then he does a bunch more fucking cocaine, grass, coffee, booze, orange juice. This is ridiculous. And goes to bed at 8.20 in the morning after eating some fettuccine and some champagne in the hot tub. Well, now we know about Hunter S. Thompson. Would you compare your day in the life of Jim Leahy to like that? He was a social critic. Now, see, I don't have a propensity for all those other things like marijuana, cocaine, and stuff like that. Although you did have a problem with cocaine years ago. I remember that fucking crazy bit of that beer. That was a momentary lapse of judgment, Julian.

Doing lines off of Randy's junk. Julian. Doing lines off of Randy's junk. Julian. What? Wasn't he doing lines off his underwear or something? Jesus Christ, man. I don't know. Was he? Apparently you have a line, too. Julian, have you ever fallen down and pissed yourself on your own driveway, Julian? No.

Never? You've never embarrassed yourself in your fucking life? Probably yes. Tell me the most embarrassing... I don't know what the fuck I want don't know what I want to talk about. I'll tell you, any fucking venture that you ever tried and it failed,

you should be embarrassed about every fucking one of them. Hey, most... Any time that it has failed, it usually wasn't my fucking fault. Yeah, it's not... And you know what? The fact that I got up

back on the horse and fucking continued on is what makes me the person I am today because I don't give up. The time in grade six when you were wearing those really short shorts and you had a diary in it

and it went down your leg. That was Randy. That's what you always used to do. You used to blame Randy. Of course Randy. He was always fucked up as a kid. Yeah, I remember you, Julian. You were a good boy.

You were so industrious. Cut people's lawns, did painting. You babysat. You did everything. Walking up houses as I Cut people's lawns, did painting. You babysat. You did everything. I woke into their houses as I was cutting their lawns. They just started drinking. At 12 years old. That was earlier than that.

Do you think you're an alcoholic? Yeah. Not in the least bit. When did you start drinking, Julian? When I was six or seven, I started drinking. Do you drink every day? Six or seven. I drink every day, but the thing is with me, I pace myself, okay?

Do you really? I never have memory loss, ever. I don't have hangovers. I just keep it at this even, steady pace, man, all day. Unlike you. Oh, look at that. You've got that much already. Look, it should be down.

I was so interested in what Ricky was reading over there about Humper Thompson. Am I alcohol? And I just ruined it. What? You've got a fucking cup there. Leahy. That was a... I was drinking to you, Julian, because you made it.

All the way to the fucking middle, buddy. I know where your lips fucking always end up every day, okay? And I'm not drinking out of that fucking bottle. Guess this is all happening. Where do they end up? What? Where do his they end up? What? Where do his lips end up? Let's not get into that.

Just think about it. I'll just tell you, Judy. The more you describe the possibilities, the more I think you and I think along the same fucking wavelengths, and I think there's some kind of... Why am I attracted to you? I mean, I've fought it all my life. No, no, no, no. No, I've fought it all my life.

We're not fucking talking about this shit, ladies. Is it because of your pheromones? It's because of how you look? What are pheromones? Pheromones are those juices that people can't detect. I need a fucking drink. I need a... Yeah, and... And you get more...

Is that the stuff a dog smells? Dogs are a million times better noses on them than fucking anybody I know. I don't know about that. They do. They fucking do. Like 1400 pounds in time. They fucking track people, man.

But dogs, think of it. Hmm. Drug dogs. You think you're better than a fucking drug dog at an airport? They're not all that fucking smart. Yeah, they are. They can detect anything. They can detect, like, they use them for wiki leaks,

oil leaks in the pipelines. Wiki leaks. Really? Yeah. They put a little fucking mason jar in the underground and the dog goes, and he sniffs out the mason jar. So if you were a grade six,

what if a dog could have come up to you with those short shorts on and said, you know what, bud? Yeah? You might want to rethink that wardrobe because something bad is about to happen to you. You're about to leak. They probably know what anal leakage is all about. They probably do. I'm getting both guys.

Boys, I'm in hell right now. This is not the fucking way I wanted this day to go. I don't even give a fuck about all this other shit I prepared. Am I an alcoholic? For the best podcast ever. What? Am I an alcoholic or a drug addict? You're both, man, but...

Really? You're a good kind of alcoholic drug addict. You're not a drug addict. You like to smoke a lot of weed. That's fine. Smoke as much as you want. I don't do many other drugs. Mushrooms.

Mushrooms are fine. Once every couple weeks or once a week or whatever. You don't drink a lot. You're just like you're a weekend alcoholic. Oh, I drink every day, but I don't get really drunk. I get drunk, memory loss twice a week. Is that bad? No, at least five times a week.

You drink about five times a week to memory loss, man. Liquor, Vince? I've just realized it makes you feel friendlier. Really? Yeah, it drinks it. So does hash and honey oil and marijuana. But does liquor makes you friendlier? Because I've never noticed that over the years.

I was just... You should switch to liquor, man, if it's making you friendlier. Please. I feel like... It is a happy kind of a boost. You do, like, you don't get the er when you drink it, like rum does sometimes, right? I feel like we have, through the years,

been at each other's throats. Do you think? And I think for this moment to happen right now, for us to sit here, the three musketeers... No, no, no. We're not the three fucking musketeers. Nor will we ever be. If you admit it was all your fault, we can move on. I'll fucking cheers up to that. Okay, I do. No, we're not having a make-up session here. No, this is not what this podcast is about.

Let's hug, Ricky. Go ahead, guys. No, no, no, not me, Lee. Get your fucking hands off me. I'm just teasing. Lucky I'm high right now. So, this is our podcast. How are you and Randy these days? Let me read this. What, Randy? Yeah, are you. So, this is our broadcast. How are you and Randy these days?

Let me read this. What, Randy? Yeah, are you guys still good? Yeah, Randy was what you can call... An idiot. An idiot. Randy's not half as dumb as people think he is. He's more dumb. He was, uh... Yeah?

I saw him trying to wear shirts. He was putting plastic bags over his skin and then wearing some shirts. That was kind of weird. Yeah, but it's psychosomatic. Which means? Which means it's all in your head. Like, he thinks...

Oh, fuck, I agree. He thinks that if he wears a shirt, he'll break... Because he got pissed on by a horse in that parade, right? I didn't know that. You remember that parade? That's... He got pissed on by a... And that parade, right? I do not. You remember that parade? He got pissed on by a... And that's what started it all? You remember for fuck's sake.

Yeah, I know there was something about the... He was about 11 years old or something. How old was he? He didn't wear shirts after that. And he liked it. That was the funny thing. I thought it was a bull. He just sat there and took it all.

It was like he was a sprinkler or something. That just shows how depraved you are, just to imagine that scenario. I was there. He was enjoying it. This is awful. You know Julian? But I still think he has a Raj problem, okay?

You were enjoying watching it? That's not happening. I wasn't enjoying it. I was just there for fuck's sakes. You were there. You couldn't look away. That was funny as fuck, man. Yeah, that does sound pretty funny.

Dancing around in a piss sprinkler. Oh, God. I can just see a little reed. Fuck, that was gross. That'd be sad. That'd be, like, you could cry about that if you think about it. Sitting there and they got her having a horse. Horse stopped.

Everything was, the horse stopped. And the crowd that was going to roar just quieted to nothing in there. It was one of those big Budweiser horses, right? And you stand right underneath the thing and... It's really fucking sad when you think about it. No, it's not. It's disgusting. Big Christdale. A what? Christdale horse. A Christdale. A what?

Christdale horse. A Christdale. The big ones. The haul all the shit around. Poor fuck. Christdale. Nobody ever understood. What do you really do with each other?

I mean, I don't really know. Don't ask him that. No, like when you're hanging out or whatever. You guys have a lot in common? You get along good? We play Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola? Coca-Cola.

Fucking Coca-Cola. You know, in the pocket in the middle. And we play... This is fucking... What a great fucking day this is. Well, I found out this thing happens over in Japan. You guys might want to fucking try to get to next year. What's that?

The annual penis festival. That's a good one. They celebrate the penis. It's like, I think, in April, maybe. And they have big penis floats and penis lollipops and penis candles you can buy. Yeah, well, I'm so glad that my life is not predicated by my dickness. Because once you turn around sixty, your cock stops driving you around.

Like before that, 97% of the day you want to get fucking laid. All day. So that's normal? That was normal. Oh, good. That was normal. Oh, good. That's normal. And then you reach a point where your cock isn't telling you that you should run over there. Really? Because a cock is a very powerful thing, isn't it, Julie?

Fuck, it's never. I'm not going to... It's telling me to do some things right now. I'm never, ever, ever going to stop listening to it, okay? And it's always going to be talking to me. What is? You're a cop? I don't, you just, I'm getting like eked out, man. So you and Leahy are openly talking about your cock.

I don't, this is not happening. This is shut, I'm shutting this one down. Maybe you and Leahy should go to a penis festival next year. We're going to talk about a Canadian man fights off a black bear with boxing skills. See? That's way better than talking about cock... Did he have his penis? I always thought it was Bobbles bringing up the cock shit. It's not. It's you.

It's a penis festival. It's the first right out of the gate. I thought that you guys would like to talk about a penis festival. A cock float. Maybe we could start the Canadian penis festival. No. Don't give them any ideas, man. Well, they can if they want. You know, I don't give them any ideas, man. Well, they can if they want. You know, I don't give a fuck.

You beat a bear up with a box of the bear in his nose? This other thing I found that doesn't involve penises that you might like to know about is the new fish bras. I like this fucking chick. Fish bras? Chicks, they catch these fishes and then they take their tops, and they use the fish as a bra. But then they're going to have fishy-smelling tits for the rest of their lives. I don't think they fucking wrap it around their tits. I think they hold it at maybe the front of them.

They put a little net over them. Oh, Jesus, no. I think it's they can catch a fucking trout, and you hold the trout in front of your tits so the camera can't see your tits and take a picture. But they don't walk around with the tits. No, I don't think so. They just hold them up. That would be really fucked. But the don't walk around with the tits. No, I don't think so. They just hold them up. That would be really fucked.

But the fucking girls didn't get the goddamn fish. The fucking camera guy asked the producer, and the producer, here's the fucking thing, William. I don't have a. What were you doing? Just look. Your breath is fucking horrible, man. It's like ass and liquor and Cheerios or something.

So I wonder if this is going to start a craze. Getting back to the penises. You're fucking hilarious. I have a fish penis bra. A fish penis? Well, if dudes start doing it and holding it in front of their units, it'd be like a fish penis bra. Put an octopus over it. It's a new craze. Well, it wouldn be like a fish penis bra. Put an octopus over it. It's a new craze. Well, it wouldn't be

a fish penis bra. It'd be a fish underwear or something, man. Put the fish penis... Put these fish octopi in the octopi

girls and they'd walk around with the cock octopi. See, I don't like it. I don't eat seafood, so all, like, if I had a boob in my mouth,

like, one, you know. Boob? Boob in my mouth, and I had to pick out a fish scale, I wouldn't be happy. I'd fucking throw up. If you caught a big salmon, would you ever take a picture, and the fish would be your penis bra? No, man, why? I'm just curious. It's a fucked up idea. Who wants to see fish here or down there?

Why? Would you at least take off your shirt and use a fish bra? No, no, no, I don't even want to touch a fish. I don't even want to fucking handle a fucking fish stick. What about a baby cow since you eat steak? Or a pig, you like bacon. Yeah, but I don't? I would rather... Or a pig. You like bacon. Yeah, but I don't want to fucking hang out with a pig. Like...

You used to in junior high. What? Ooh. Ooh. Sally, uh... Come on. Don't talk about her. Mackenzie?

There's nothing wrong with her. I'm just joking. She was pretty cute no she wasn't man don't know what happened there okay alright

so uh what else do we want to talk about are you going to sleep no no nothing what was this cany man that said this penis

that fought the black bra over boxing skills the what the penis what no it's just a guy I don't even care about that anymore This penis that fought the black brow with boxing skills. The what? The penis? What? No, it's just a guy. I don't even care about that anymore, man. Oh.

We'll pass that one. Really? Yeah. I read a thing in the New Yorker the other day, and it said if you orient yourself, is that the right word, orient? If you what? Orientate yourself. Where the fuck is it?

Does that mean you're from Asia? If you know where north and south is. Oriental. Now, when you earn something like this, Julian, this beautiful thing... I'm gonna get something out of you. Oh, look what I found. Fucking bullshit detector. Oh, my God. How does it work?

Well, if you point it at someone and it goes click, beep, that means you're full of shit. I'm 25 years old. I'm not, though. You're not? You fucking piece of shit. Anybody want to buy a bullshit detector. It's a fucking stuff finder Bullshit detector

Locked right on you look Look at this. It's a boy scout one, and it's a compass and you orient yourself Okay, first of all can you point to north right now? It's a second. Okay. Let's see. North is up that way. Really? Well, let's see. Here we go. Right over there and up there.

Holy fuck, you guys are not bad, bad at all. See, you guys are well-placed in life. This is a... Every time you get lost in the woods, you hold a stick and you just kind of let it go, and it'll point right to fucking north. That's not true. It's for something, anyway. Oh, man.

Julian, I'd like to present... Don't they use that to find water or something when you're digging? I'd like to... Or maybe it's those, what do they call them? The things you find on the ground. Okay. You might have to give us a... Truffles! Truffles.

That's how you find truffles, I think, isn't it? This is Boy Scout compass. I'd like to present it to you, Julian. I don't want it. I'd like to present it to you right now. I would like to have a compass. How much do you want for the bullshit detector? I'll throw that in. That is a nice compass. Does it work?

Yeah, look, you guys were pointing in exactly the right direction. The little needle that's pointing over there. It's a little... not very sturdy. So what does he owe you now? You gave him something? He doesn't owe me anything. No, there's something up. No, you're not just going to give him a fucking compass, are you?

Yeah, yeah. $800. No, No, you're not just going to give him a fucking compass, are you? $800. No, $8. I bought it in Toronto. Oh. No, you got it. Great on. Thank you, Mr. Leahy. Do I have to give you something in return? We were up there shooting season 11.

Yeah, I canceled my contract, but I could give you this phone. It's pretty much brand new. Isn't this a great fucking day? Look at you guys. Best fucking season ever for Trail Park, Ian. Because I had the fucking time of my life

this year. And I'd like to pose a post to season 11. Okay. Would you drink to that? Cheers. Cheers. Just kidding. Cheers. To season Just kidding. Cheers.

To season 11. All right. On that note, I guess. On that note, it's time to get drunk. Yeah. Don't ever need to fuck off. I think we should start the broadcast. I'll go off.

You introduce me as a special guest. And I will fucking be perfect guest. All right. It's over. We're done. But it's television. It're done. But it's television. It's video.

You guys can just do the whole fucking thing again. Welcome to the inofficial Trailer Park Boys podcast.

What? We have a special guest today. Now, come on. You've got to put something into it.

Why? Why do we have to do that, though? I don't understand. We don't have to do shit, Julian. Well, yeah. I'm just gonna take one more sip of your boo and then I'll be on my way.

How much of that? Did you have all that? I shared it with you. No bullshit. You didn't fucking drink though. Jesus Christ, I don't know how you do that. I'd wake up talking face down the street. We'll just finish it now. We should leave something for the next guy. Jesus Christ, I don't know how you do that. I'd wake up talking face down the street. May as well just finish it now. We should leave something for the next guy.

No, no one else is drinking from my bottle. You never know, bud. All right, so I have one thing I just want to ask. It's a special favor. You can ask it, but I knew this was coming. Nothing's going to happen. No, it's... Just do it, Julian. Get it over with. No, it's... Just do it, Julian. Get over with it.

No, it's do it. Oh. There you go. Just do it. Get over with it. All right. What did you need me to do? I'd like you to come on the Randy and Leahy show.

Yeah? And you can pick the day, and we'll just... We just need an hour and a half of your time. If Julian would come on with me... No, I don't want fucking Julian. He's a downer. Look at him. Where's my hat? Fuck.

Nice. I was going to get my ear pierced. We're sort of semi getting along. Neither one of us is in jail at the moment. I'm not sure how you're not in jail. This is just hitting me now. That's another thing. But I guess maybe.

This fucking energizing drink. I'll give you a maybe. I'll give you a maybe if you replace the booze that you fucking took today. No problem. But I don't want to be licked or touched or, you know what I mean? Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. That shit happens? No, no, not if you go. He licks and touches you?

You'll have a good time, Julian. I'm not going on. There's like... I don't care how much booze you have for me. I don't do that. I'm not going on to get touched by you guys. You're going to be sorry, Julian. No offense.

Our show, Randy and Leigh's show, we're going to start inviting Muhammad Ali and all those guys on. Good luck with that one. So there you go. So you can fuck off. You can fuck off too, Leigh. But Ricky's coming. The show actually is pretty good. You should watch it sometime. I'll watch it.

I think it's better than this piece of shit. Ricky's coming on with me. Good. Hope he's there on a regular basis. Yep. And, um, so are you you gonna sign off your show? No. I'm just gonna get up and walk away. Walk away, and I'll take over. Do you wanna go fishing, Julian? Let's go fishing.

Take this. He's just walking away. You got your cell phone camera? Yeah, I do. All right. You're just leaving me like that. I don't give a fuck what you do, man. I'm outta here. I've had enough time with you.

We'll send you some pictures later. What? We'll send you some pictures of Julian later. Is this where Julian sits to run the show? I guess so. Okay. Welcome. Welcome to the Ricky Show.

Ladies and gentlemen, you are going to find in the next three minutes things that you never knew possible about Ricky when he was 11 years old. I remember when he got picked up by the cops and we thought we were never going to see him again. I was home in two hours. All right. Lee, no. You're not taking over my fucking show. Okay.

Get. Sorry. This is my show. All right, all right, all right. All right. Look at this beautiful clock julian you can buy a trailer for boys merch.com check it out the shit like he's wearing yeah just check it out i don't know what's on there i gotta stop getting drunk and falling down you got a lot of go Субтитры подогнал «Симон»