Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 51 - Randy Hitchhiked on Anus Road

Episode Date: July 20, 2016

Bubbles is still busy with Axl Rose (or possibly hanging out with Floppy the Seal), but it’s OK, because Randy Bobandy is here, and he brought burgers! Ricky discusses his plan to fight a bear with a salt and vinegar mop, and he teaches us about “the hook” - the best way to pick up women at four-way stops! Episode 51 is brought to you by the Official Trailer Park Boys Store, and Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky!      

Hi guys, how you doing? My name's Randy, if you don't know me, and I'm real happy to be here today. I'm the special guest on the podcast, and I'm going to probably help host it. guest on the podcast and I'm going to probably help host it. You know, Mr. Leahy was in here about the last time and said he made up with Julian and with Ricky and with Bubbles and I think they're going to be on our podcast. So this is, it's good. It's so much better when everyone gets along. I mean, you know, we help each other out. I mean, now I can come in and have a meal. Oh, geez, there's chips, too. This is great.

So, yeah, I'm really excited. I think that, like I say, if you get along with people, it's a lot better because it makes life totally easy. And who doesn't want an easy life? Life should be easy. I don't think people should be fighting all the time. And I'm kind of excited because I think it means that Julian likes me a bit more and Ricky and, well, Bubbles isn't here but he said that the guys really

like me. Those chips are good. Anyway, I'm just setting the table here and then we'll get things going. I hope everybody likes this. All right, look, check this out. Burgers. Look at those.

Perfect size. Oh, I think everyone's going to be very, very excited. There we go. I'm going to give myself two burgers. Oh no no no no. What the fuck are you doing here? What? Where's Bubbles? Bubbles said that I was gonna be the special guest and host of your show. He's away so... So, uh, fucking kidding me. Yeah.

Get the fuck out of my seat you dumbass. He's gonna play with my fucking seal again, isn't he? What? This is your seat? Get the fuck up of my seat you dumbass. He's going to play with my fucking seal again isn't he? This is your seat? Get the fuck up. Jesus Christ. Why are you guys so... Did you touch these? I made these Julian. You gotta go. I'm not fucking doing this thing with you here.

I'm gonna get these fucking burgers out of my face. We gotta hurry up. I don't got much time. Alright you can leave now. What? What the fuck are you doing here? Bobo said, asked me to be here, and said that you've made up with Mr. Leahy, and that we're working together. Is your name Mr. Leahy? No, I'm Randy. Right. We made up with Mr. Leahy, sort of, not really.

No, we didn't make up with Leahy at all. So what the fuck? Why are you here? I'm gonna host your show. You're not hosting. I'm the host of this fucking show. Welcome to the show, everybody. Would you shut the fuck up? You can leave now.

No, but we've got our own show as well, the Randy and Mr. Leahy show. Yeah. And I'm not going to be on it, by the way. I've been thinking about it. Not fucking happening. Me either. Bubbles can do it. Bubbles fucking got you guys here while he went

and played with my fucking seal, whatever else he's doing, so... He can do your fucking show. How many burgers you got left? You can stay here until your burgers are gone, then you're getting the fuck out of here. I'm tired. I haven't fucking slept this week, pretty much. Are they good?

They're not bad. Actually, a little bit cold, but they're... It's like the right amount of meat to bun ratio. Well, it's very important to beat the mind. It's alright, it's kinda cold though, Randy. Well, it was a long walk friggin' up here from where the barbecue is. Fuck's sake. Oh, fucks. Alright, so what the fuck's up, what's up with this thing?

It's where I've been all week. I don't want to talk about it. It's personal. No, we're going to be talking about that, but first we've got to get a few things taken care of first. All right. What's going on, fuckers? This is the official Trailer Park Boys podcast.

It's coming at you right now, I guess. What? What number is it? I was getting to that, man. It's number 51. Ah. 51. Ah. 51. So next podcast, it's going to be the big 52, the big one-year podcast, which is...

Unless it's a leap year, because the leap year is 53 weeks. It's not, no. It's 50. No, that's one extra day, right, Julian? Fuck off. Leap year's February 29th. So if you're born on leap year, you're four times as young as everybody.

Is that how it works? Yeah. That's fucking cool. That's not how it works. Randy, shut the fuck up. All right, this podcast is brought to you by Trailer Prep Boys, merch.com. Go on there.

How come you create shit like that? That's stupid. You know, I've got papers. Brought to you by Randy's great shit like that? That's stupid. You know? I've got papers. Brought to you by Randy's Shitty Cheeseburgers. Actually, they're pretty good. We should sell these online, man. You got your own papers?

Yes, we've got our own papers. Put the fucking thing back. Take the pack, for instance. It's only three bucks. I don't owe you nothing. Okay. I made the burgers, Julian. This was supposed to be a happy show,

and now you're just being all... You know what? You're being all tough. What are you talking about? I just don't like you. All right? Why don't I sit here and pretend that you're my friend? Julian, we go back a long way. I think Leahy's an idiot.

We don't want to hang out with you. If you want to drop burgers off to us every now and then, maybe that's a good start. Yeah. Maybe we'll talk to you a bit more, but other than that, man, you can go fuck yourself, Randy. And also, just so you know, don't fuck around with me

because I've been in training and I'll fucking... I could really hurt you bad now. Yeah. Training for what? Just one of my goals. Julian's been telling me I need to set goals because my life's been so fucked lately.

That's true. Say that again. Well, goals are important. If you don't have goals, then you're fucking basically just living. I've got goals. I was reading part of that book Julian lent me on Arnold Schwarzenegger. Very good book. He says don't say the word try. Is that what it was? Don't try. Just do it. You do. I might. Don't say I might. Say I will. It's just shit. You just train your brain to do things like that. I thought that was sneakers. What? Just do it. Just would you shut the fuck up? We're talking about something totally different.

Yeah. I tried. So freaking jump a cheeseburger. Maybe I'm gonna try and fight a bear, whereas I'm saying, I'm fighting a fucking bear. Yeah, that's a good example, Ricky. See? You're learning. What do you mean you're fighting a bear? Fucking that thing we were talking about last week, a guy in Ontario fought a bear. Yeah. Doing his Tommy Sack goals, so I'm thinking why not combine the two? Fucking guy, in my mind, is a pretty fucking cool guy. He fought a bear. I want to be that guy. Now Ricky, you can't do like, that was a good example I said you can't be a

going out trying to fuck it no fight with bear. Why not? It's a win-win situation for me Julian. Either I fucking meet up a bear, fight him and kick the shit out of him and I'll feel really good about myself. Or the bear kicks the fuck out of me and knocks me down a level, and then I've got to rethink goals in life. Or kills you. It's not going to kill me. Why don't you just go into boxing or something, Ricky?

Anybody can box a person, Rainey. I want to fucking box a bear or a shark, but I'm not a good swimmer, so a shark's going to be tricky. So a bear, at least it's on land. Sharks don't box, Ricky. No, sharks, they're bitey animals. The bears that you fight in the woods are not like the bears you see in the circus with riding bikes.

I'm not going to fight a fucking grizzly right off the top. I'm going to start with a black bear. I don't know how big they are. A black bear. Yep. The thing I've been reading, they normally stay away from people anyway. Unless you come at them, what you plan on doing you listen man that guy that that little story about the guy who boxed the bear and the thing ran away he got lucky he obviously bumped into a fucking bear that was a pussy right that's probably gonna die because he

can't you know hunt like other bears because it's it's like him okay but he bumped into a bear that's like him what well okay there's there's bumped into a bear that's like him. What? Well, okay, there's tough bears probably, and there's pussy bears. Right, and I'm ready for any bear. I'm not a pussy bear. That's why I have this.

You're a pussy bear. Because they do have claws. They can claw the fuck out of you, so I do have this. It's going to hopefully help me a little bit. That's not going to do jack shit, man. You know, did you ever see the bear claw? They got claws like that, man.

Well, I was fucking trying to slice myself with a steak knife, and it wasn't going through this. Didn't even cut it. Yeah, but they got five steak knives in each hand. Paw. Whatever the frig of it is. Ricky, this is not a good idea. But, you know, if it's a big bear that comes at me, I cut this coated with salt and vinegar chips, so it's very vinegary. So if it comes at me, I'll fucking shove that right in. Ricky.

I'll shove that right in his eyes. And that's going to fucking dizzy him and blind him a little bit at first. You've covered that in salt and vinegar chips? A couple shots, a couple hooks. Rick, a broom with, I mean, a mop with fucking salt and vinegar chips crushed on it, that's not going to do jack shit to a bear. I also have this. It's my ninja shoe.

It's got a little spike through. It's not too big because I don't want to kill the little fucker, but if he gets out of hand, I'll give him a couple little shots of that and that'll set him back a little bit and hopefully, again, that's not going to do jack shit. The problem I'm having is finding a fucking bear. I left a bunch of food out. Something ate it, but no bears came.

Where'd you leave the food out? Just out back. The trailer. God, that's why the animals are out of control. Ricky, you're an idiot. When have you ever seen a bear in fucking Sunnyvale? Well, that's... So now I've been going to the woods,

and I tried leaving a bit of food out in the woods. Didn't come. Tried banging a chick there, because I thought maybe that would attract a bear. Didn't come. Wait now, wait. You tried... Why would that attract a bear, banging a chick there, so I thought maybe that would attract a bear didn't come wait now Wait, you tried. Why would that attract a bear banging a chick in the woods? I think some animals that if they smell like sex

They get some curious and they come and check it out. I know it with moose for sure Because I'm why you one time I was banging Lucy and the moose came out and it wanted to try to bang me a Moose we had to run naked through the woods for about a kilometer. Rick, man. Rick, Rick, Rick. The animals are like a moose. It's smelling a moose vagina. That's why it's going for it.

It's not smelling some chick's fucking, you know. That's two different things, man. It's two different scents. I haven't been banging in a while. Well, I'm glad you're getting banged, but, you know, taking a chick out to the woods to bang her because you want to get what... What happens if the bear came up? You're going to fight the bear in front of the chick?

Well, then I'd have to stop what I was doing, get my equipment back on, hit it with the mop and fucking go at it, give it a few hooks. Yeah, but what if the thing went after the chick? Well, she chose to come, so... Oh, so... Ricky, so she knew what was going on. If you want to bang Ricky, you're taking your wife in your fucking hands.

Maybe she could box the bear. I mean, I'd try to help her. I've got a fucking salt-and-vinegar mop. So you're saying that if you box the bear, that's your goal. I don't think Arnold Schwarzenegger's goals were related to boxing bears. I think it was like, you know, save some money so that you could get a nicer trailer

or friggin' get your car replaced because it's a piece of shit. Like, that's a goal. Being better to your grandson or trying to save some money for his education. That's a goal. Look who's talking. What kind of goals do you have? How many cheeseburgers can I eat today? No. How many can goals do you have? How many cheeseburgers can I eat today? No.

How many can I eat this week? Some goals that I have have been, instead of having two cheeseburgers with two buns, I'll have a double cheeseburger. Because the buns, they give you the shit sometimes. And if that happens, it's because the wheat can make your shit go shitty. But the right meat to bun ratio with meat and cheese, that's the perfect type of burger.

So if you have two doubles instead of four singles, you're getting the same amount of meat, a little less bun, just have and put some lettuce on it because then you've got roughage. That's the goal. I'm going back to school. You are fucked. I'm going back to school. You're a fucking idiot. You think that's what Ernest Schwarzenegger meant when he wasn't talking about cheeseburgers?

No, I'm learning, Julian. The next time you do have the shits with your burger buns, come to the woods, because maybe that'll attract the bears. I'd let a bear fucking have his way with you. He'd probably try to bang you. Try to bang you? He'd look like a bear. You smell like a bear. Seriously, when was the last time you've had a shower? See, that should be a goal.

I'm going to wake up every fucking morning. Every day. And have a shower. You don't shower every day. The doctor says my sweat glands overwork. Sweat keeps your body cool. Your stink glands. So basically I'm the coolest person in the world. And one of the smelliest and greasiest.

And dumbest. I'm not dumb. I'm taking some courses. I'm doing it on the computer. What kind of courses are you taking? Well, I wanted to learn how to crochet. Because it's important to know knitting and crocheting. I'm going to make some nice stuff.

I've done popsicle art. So now I'm going to make some nice stuff. I've done popsicle art, so now I'm just... Which was fucked. No, I sold a lot. That paid for a lot. How much did you make? Do you have that figured out? How much did you actually make? That's personal, Julian. How much? I would like to know. You don't ask a person

how much they make. I'd just like to know, how much is a box of popsicles? Well, it depends on what they're worth. Five, six bucks? If you get the larger size. But, I mean, the popsicle art is made by sucking on the popsicle and eating it. You know what?

Don't ever explain something like that to me again, okay? You can't just get popsicle sticks. Why not? Because that would be cheating, Julian. What? No one likes a cheater. The way I see it, you didn't make a fucking cent, man. You spent all the money on popsicles,

and you made jack shit on the little fucking things that you sold. You definitely didn't make... You're talking about fighting a bear. Is it? That's dumb. Banging a chick in the woods? When was the last time you banged in the woods? Actually, don't answer that.

I don't really want to know. Banging in the woods was good. It's been a long time. Some people do that in a bed, Ricky. I met a girl at the four-way stop. Gave her the hook. 20 minutes later. Gave her the what?

Gave her the hook. The hook? What's the hook? You know, when you pull up at the four-way stop, it was a good-looking girl. You're trying to decide who's going to let who go first and then she starts to smile, and you smile. I just gave her the hook. You went like that?

She followed you? Yeah, so I took a right. She followed me. Went to the woods. I'm thinking, maybe I'll get two birds stoned at once. Try to get the bear here with a little sex scent. And it was awesome. It was a good day, except no bear fight.

Okay, so you don't even know this chick that you banged out in the woods. No. You gave her the woods. No. You just, you gave her the hook, she followed you, you explained to her that you were also going to hunt a bear, and that if that happens,

if one comes up because of her scent, her smelly... I didn't tell her about the bear thing before. I told her about it afterwards and she was pretty fucking, thought it was really

fucked up and she left. And that's why I didn't tell her before because I thought she might think it was a little weird. But it was great. Hadn't she left. And that's why I didn't tell her before, because I thought she might think it was a little weird. But it was great. Hadn't been banging in a long time.

That's so fucked, Ricky. I bet the next time you pull up to a four-way stop, you see a cute little girl, you'd be thinking about giving her the hook. Yeah. All right, I'm going to give the hook a try, I guess. She either follows you or she doesn't. I mean, there was a lot said in those few little smiles, but, you know, she laughed, and I giggled, and then I gave her the hook a try, I guess. She either falls here or she doesn't. I mean, there was a lot said in those few little smiles, but, you know, she laughed and I giggled and then...

I gave her the hook. Are you kidding me? Just listen to him. Ricky Romance. Gives her the hook, throws a little smile, and she smiled back and there was a twinkle in her fucking eyes and then he went and fucked the shit over her hoping to find a bear.

She was ready to go bear bird too but i didn't oh man i don't know why people watch your show honestly you guys are idiots no you're an idiot no i'm i'm the only smart one here with real goals i'm gonna go back to school and take stuff on courses maybe crochet and some small engine repair i'm gonna do it you can do these things right on your computer, Julian. You don't even have to leave your trailer. Ricky's goal is to fight a bear with ninja shoes and a mop with friggin' chips on the friggin' thing.

It's better than fucking crow's shit shady. Yeah, well, you're going to end up getting yourself killed. Well, I doubt it. Someday, Randy, I'm going to be on the news, and you're going to be like, fuck, I was wrong. Ricky took the fuck out of that bear and he's famous. No, mangled by a fucking bear. Or famous for mangling.

Here, Randy, why don't you fucking do this? It's a great idea. This is gold for you. Look at that dude. Cut off your ears and look like a parrot. The man who cut off his ears and looks like... He does look like a parrot. Why would you do that? Let me see that fucking bear. He looks like a parrot. The man who cut off his ears and looks like... He does look like a parrot. Why would you do that?

Let me see that fucking thing. He looks like a parrot. The man who cut off his ears to look like a parrot. The guy's... Is that a tattoo? Shit. All right, this guy's got tattoos. He cut off his ears.

He does look like a parrot, but... Why would you do that? It was his goal, I guess. He probably read the Arnold Schwarzenegger book, too. Well... He said, fuck saying I'm gonna try. I'm fucking Schwarzenegger book, too. Well, see... I'm fucking doing this. You can't, Ricky, when I... You just can't, everything

can't be a goal. Like, don't do stupid goals. That's a real parrot lying on his head. I don't know, Julian, it's taken over my life. It's great. He's got pet parrots. He's 56. You gotta think of goals that are gonna better yourself, not fucking make you look like a fucking parrot, cut your ears off,

or bang chicks in the woods and try to fight bears. Like, you gotta, like... I could fight a dog. It's artistic. I got my haircut. Why'd you want to fight a fucking dog, though? I got a nice haircut. It makes me look thin. Just about fighting different things.

Taller and thinner. And you want to fight something that has a chance. You wouldn't beat the fuck out of a cat. He's got a parrot haircut. Or a deer. Would you shut the fuck up, this parrot guy? What the fuck is wrong with you? Well, I got my haircut nice.

And you look like a dick. Look at it. You've got like a box head now. Yeah, I look taller and thinner. No, you look fucked. You look kind of dumb. And you still look... Why would you get your hair cut like that?

Well, you got your hair cut, and Bubbles gave me enough money to get some, make up some burgers, and I got my hair cut. I got my hair cut, Randy, because this thing wasn't really fitting on my head that well. All right, it's no one reason. Probably doesn't even fit your stupid head. Randy, you're about five seconds away from getting tackled, so just throwing that out there. Probably better to tackle a person than a bear, you dummy. Well, why don't you put on a bear costume, and I'll fucking see what you got.

That'd be nice. Julian, don't be an instigator. I'm sitting here in the middle of this shit, boys. Don't talk about bears. Don't talk about, well, for the rest of the podcast. See, I wanted to do this. You know, Bubbles is still out on the road. Is he back?

Was he over at Guns N' Roses or something? I don't know. He was playing with my fucking seal a lot, and he was trying to bang Bieber. All right, so there's a few things that came up since he's been gone. And he was hired to do something for Axl. What's fluffing?

Is that a job? No, I'm just joking. I was... I worked for Alex Lifeson once. This road sign gets stolen every two months. You what? I was Alex Lifeson from Rush's guitar tech briefly. What do you mean? You don't even play guitar. No, but I won a contest, don't you remember? What'd you do for him? Well, he tried to make me wear a stupid shirt. I don't wear shirts anyway.

You know what? I can understand. Rock and roll's an interesting business, guys. Very interesting, folks. What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, it sure is. Well, it's sex, drugs, and rock and roll. So were you involved in any of those three things?

Maybe a little drugs. I guess it's four things. And the rock and roll. Did you just rock, or just roll, or did you rock and roll? Very key. You had sex with Alex Lifeson, didn't you? I did not! Did you try? Julian?

Did he try? Do you find him attractive? Well, in a little way, maybe. Are you attracted to his talent or just to his body? This... Why don't you bring up another story? No, what color eyes does he have?

I think they're brown. I don't know. I don't really get to look at his eyes. I can't help you. That's all right. If you have a crush on him, that's fine. I don't have a crush on him. I'm saying that Bubbles went with Guns N' Roses, and I've actually been with Rush. It's exciting.

Yeah, it's exciting. All right, what's this thing? Oh, it's a street sign. It gets stolen every couple months, apparently. Horny Town Road. It's amazing. I'd like to have a copy of it. Put it on my street.

Well, let's go there. Butthole Road, Knob Fields, Fanny Hands Lane. Like, great, man. Ricky, who gives a fuck? How long can we talk about that horny town? Well, I'm extra horny now. Horny road. You know how you haven't been banged in a while,

and then you get banged, and then you're extra horny? In British Columbia, there's one called Anus Road. Really? Have you ever been on it? Well I was hitchhiking briefly and I repeat briefly but beautiful province. When you mean when you say hitchhiking do you mean hooking for birds? No I was just going from A to B. You were hitchhiking on Anus Road. I just, it ended up, it's, I mean, I didn't mean to be on Anus Road, but. Seems like an awful big coincidence to me. Someone that prostitutes himself every now and then is on Anus Road.

If someone's driving by that's into anything and they see a fucking man with no shirt on on an anus road looking for a ride, what the fuck do you think

they're hoping for? Well, maybe... Just going to drive you to the goodness of their cocks? Maybe they live at the end of an anus road and there's a crossroad.

All right. Well, this has been amazing. Thanks, Randy. Thanks for telling us that, dumbass. Well. So does Leahy know that you'll prostitute yourself out every now and then? What are you talking about prostitution?

Well, you're on Anus Road, man, trying to hitchhike. No, this was like years ago. I was going across Canada. Were you or were you not prostituting yourself out on Annis Road? I was not at that time.

Bullshit. I wasn't. Do you want to hang out with us again? Listen. Don't lie. What do you

give for a ride? It wasn't about prostitution. It was about just trying to get to... Listen, Julian. Do you have

group rates? I just don't understand it, man. I didn't agree to come on the show and talk about all this stuff. Okay, that's the past, and we'll leave it there, all right? I don't need that. Now, that's why I've got these goals I'm telling you about where I'm taking courses on the computer, and it's going to make me smarter, and, you know, I could do it.

And just like, you know, Mr. Schwarzenegger says, you could do things if you put your mind to it and just take a little bit of time for yourself instead of, you know, like all the bullshit, like cleaning septic tanks out. This is McDonald's septic tank. So is there like a guideline for hitchhiking? Like what you have to do for how many miles?

Well, normally you go on the side of the road that you want to go to. Like 10K? If you want to go that way, you've got to be on that side. Other way, the other side. Because no one's going to turn around for you. around for you all right i'm sorry that i fucking asked yeah it was very don't ask a question like that again all right there's a story here that that just happened like i said okay i kind of want to try to make bubbles feel like he's missing out because he is all right what is it nasa oh space story right on the feed goes dead after unidentified

object passes through space towards the Earth. They've got footage of this fucking light coming down, and then they lost feed, you know, of everything. NASA, I mean, that's pretty big shit, man. They did it on purpose. A light came down? Nope, it was a fucking UFO from another planet. And NASA said, if this gets out there, it's going to be fucking panic everywhere. So we have to shut the cameras down.

That's what I think happened. That's what I think happened as well, man. Yeah. What do you think happened, Randy? Something dumb? Maybe the power went out or the fucking batteries died? Idiot. I believe in UFOs.

I think they're real. I've already seen a couple, so they're real. I mean, if anything, UFOs probably think that we're fucked. You know, and they're just like, yeah, we got a UFO. The UFO or the alien? Well, the alien that's driving it. I mean, it's possible that they're like probes and they just aliens are sending them out just like they do in the movies. And they're checking shit.

And they looked at us and they went they're fucked oh i think that's what it is all these bombs and shit they think we're too dumb to be a threat just we're no we're just fucked they're saying you know what if you go there you might get stupid you know they're war and the we're hurting our ozone layer. I have to wear sunscreen because I get a sunburn. Because we've destroyed the ozone layer. Jesus Christ. Randy.

You're so fucking boring, man. If everybody out there did one thing. I heard that marijuana smoke fixes the ozone so people should smoke more weed. Yeah, I don't think marijuana smoke hurts it, Ricky. I think it's cars. Yeah. Marijuana smoke hurts cars. And jets, all the jets going around in the air, up close.

There's at least a thousand jets going around. They need to make an electric jet. Yeah! See, Ricky? That's a goal. Electric jet. Or a windmill jet or something. A windmill jet? Yeah. Man. When the fuck is Bubba supposed to be getting back here? I don't know, but he better not be playing with my fucking seal again, I can tell you that.

If he's still playing with the seal, instead of being here where he should be, helping us, we're going to have to sit down and have some kind of a talk with him, man. All right, here's a good story. There's this dude in Iran. They call him the Hulk of Iran. He's had enough of all this fucking terrorism shit. He wants to do something about it. Chip, if you have a picture of this guy, throw him up.

He looks like a fucking cartoon character, man. He's fucking huge. This guy is massive. He looks like the Hulk. So, instead of wanting to fight a bear, he wants to fight a fucking terrorist. That's a pretty good goal. Yeah, that's his goal. Maybe I should take my moth out. Look at this fucking guy.

Ninja foot. All right, guy, you're pretty big there, dude, but what are you going to fucking do? A gun would hack you down in a second. That's the problem. Yeah. What, are they going to bounce off you? You're not Superman. You're just a big motherfucker.

It'd be cool if you could work out enough that your muscles become bulletproof. This guy's a lot like you. He's going to take on all the fucking terrorists, right? Just because he's big? Mm-hmm. And He's going to take on all the fucking terrorists, right? Just because he's big? Mm-hmm. And you're going to take on a fucking bear. Yeah. It's ridiculous.

I think it's good. I think it's good to have goals. Is this guy going to be like Commando? Huh? Have you ever seen anybody that big? No, the guy's massive, but like... Maybe his muscles are so big that they're bulletproof. But he's not like the Hulk man

He's not gonna go in to start kicking ass and Taking care of business, man. You wouldn't want to get fucking all they do is go like this throw a grenade at him He'd be fucked. Yeah, well, you know, he's not running fast. What if he got grenades? Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying He used to be like heavily armed and he needs more than just himself He should go on at people like Paul. He should get some grenades. And a bulletproof skin-tight suit.

All right, Randy, think this guy's hot or not hot? He's kind of scary-looking, actually. So does that mean he's hot? No, it just means he's kind of scary. Do you like your, you know, your mate to be smaller or bigger? Julian, this is a personal question. I'm just asking. Like, I don't know. You flip-flop all the time.

I kind of like, I honestly think that. And I'm totally cool with all of it, man. Like, he's got big muscles. But, you know, they're really, really big and a little scary. Like, your muscles, Julian, are nice. Like, you know, like your. Randy, would you shut the fuck up? And the way you wear.

Hey, we're talking about the holdup from our end. It's very toning now. Randy. I understand why Mr. Leahy thinks that you're attractive. Because. Just shut the fuck up. You know, your eyes, they dance blue. Randy, they dance.

What do you mean they dance? Well, when he looks into the sun, they sparkle. And when he has his drink and it jingles and sparkles. Right? And the earring, it gives you a sense of bad boy-ishness. Randy! Randy! Just a little bit. Randy!

You look good in a tube, Julian. You look good in a tube. What the fucking... Shut the fuck up. Enough of this, man. You ruined my burger, Julian. I got real. We're talking about other things, man.

I'm glad I got extra napkins. I got real. I got slime. You ask what I find attractive in a man, and you're a man. We were talking about something totally different. Apparently it's... Who is attractive? Anybody that looks like Julian. Yeah, so just don't like...

Can you show me those tricep workouts again, Julian? Are you flattered, Julian? No, I'm not. All right, we're moving on. He's been in a compliment. You ruined a perfectly good burger, Julian. Hitler's birthplace. They want to destroy it, okay?

He was born in... He was not handsome, okay? Look, I mean, anyone that has a mustache like that is an idiot. He totally ruined it for everybody with that mustache, didn't he? I might even rock one of those, but not now. No. All right, so he was born in this little town in Austria. Shut the fuck up. And they want to tear down this building, okay?

So people are freaking out. We got like... Tear it the fuck down. You know, Nazi people moving in and shit. They're just saying, hey, enough of this stuff. We got to just tear it down. So they might. They might turn it into a grocery store, actually.

Why don't they just move it and don't tell anybody? And then someone homeless could have a house. They were actually thinking about doing that. That's a good idea. With some homeless people in there. See, this is a story that Bubbles would like. Because you know what he's, he's terrified. Don't hurt the house.

Again, that's harmful to the environment. But don't tell anyone that he friggin' lived there, because that would just be horrible. They were renting this place out for $67,000 a month almost. Wow. Fuck, those things are good, whatever they are. What are those, man? Little eggs.

Yeah, they're a suck one for. What color? I went going to suck one for him. What color? I went red. All right, okay. All right, I think that's it, guys. I've had enough of hanging out with you, Randy. What are you guys going to do after this? You guys going to go do anything together?

I'm going to go online and learn more about some of my goals that I have, Ricky. I think you should... That's great, Randy. Why don't you set five goals for the next show, and then you can come in and tell everybody. Why don't you fuck off in five different ways for the next show? That's a good goal for you.

All right, get the fuck out of here. Okay. Thank you. Get the fuck off, Ricky! Does that burn? Feel the burn, baby. You're making me cry, for frick's sake. Yeah, see, if you were a bear right now, I'd just come in and fucking dummy you. You're not gonna fight a bear, man.

I'm gonna put my foot down on that, and you will die. What else could I fight? Just go into a gym and hit a heavy bag or something. You don't have to Fight an animal Fighting animals That's the stupidest goal What about a rhinoceros

No you're not You're not going to Go fight a rhinoceros man That's a huge animal Is it slow No man It's just massive It would fucking

It would tear you apart With that big horn I'd fight a deer But they don't really Have any attack mode Go You know Here's a

Go fight Randy. All right. Pick it up, fight with him out in the park a lot, just kick the shit out of him. Good luck, man.