Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 52 - F**K OFF WITH THE BLACK FLIES

Episode Date: May 20, 2024

Park After Dark is a f**kin' ZOO this week - with 10,000 bats, dirty old black flies, musket rats, and crocodile-eating kitties! Also: Ricky get Naked & High, Bubbles dives into the New York-Dublin portal, and it's some sexy dick's birthday!

To see the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys SwearNet app. I just don't understand how you got your penis caught in a vice. It wasn't caught in a vice, Bubz. It had nothing to do with that. Gently placed in a vice it wasn't caught in the vice buffs it had nothing to do with that gently placed in the vase no man it's just this i rolled over there was a vice there my bed don't ask and it kind of just went into the vice it's not a thing to take to bed but well i was kind of working on this thing man it's my cell my cell phone. I had to put it in there, and I was using...

I don't fucking know, man. I can't fix cell phones, by the way. Well, word around the park is your penis was caught in a vice. That's all I'm saying. No, it was... Okay. Welcome to the park after the dark. Park after the dark.

Yes. How are you guys feeling today? Pretty confident? Pretty happy? A hundred percent. Pretty loose? are you guys feeling today? Pretty confident? Pretty happy? A hundred percent. Pretty loose? Tired, man. You know what?

Things falling out of you? Things are falling out of me. You know what? There's got to be something we can do with the fucking black flies, boys. They're out of control this year. There's no, like, why are they around? They're different. Some people are dealing with cicadas.

We're dealing with fucking black flies from hell. Fucking black flies. Yeah, but they're evolving. They're slightly bigger than they used to be. They are bigger. It seems like they're way more. But they're blind. They can't see.

You know that, right? What? How do they find me then? Heat sensors? They find me. They can smell you, right? And is it true, like, if you're wearing black, that they go for the black, right?

It's not a smell. It's a heat fucking thing. It's sweat. Well, imagine the heat coming off those muscles. What's that called? The FLIR camera? Do they have one of those built in? What?

What? The FLIR camera? What the fuck is a FLIR camera? What the fuck do the fire people have that can see bodies running around and shit? Thermal. Thermal. Or just shit? Thermal. Thermal.

Or just wait. Thermal. Thermal imagery. Thermal imagery, yeah. All right. Flur. They have that built in? No, they don't have. No, Ricky, they don't have fucking.

Well, I could be sitting in my fucking car and the little cocksuckers will come right to the glass because they can be like, eat, eat, eat. No, that would be like, they'd be like Predator if they had that. Predator could see that. So the fuckers, they definitely, they lay eggs and shit. What, in the marsh right over there? Yeah. We've got to fucking fill that in, man. That pond was good.

We're not filling in the marsh. Let's fill it in, man. Put concrete. My kitties like the marsh. All right. I've said this before and you've always been against it. Why don't we get as much fucking like raid as we possibly can. I don't know.

Just like if we can put all the cans together and just one big spray the whole fucking park. Or a flamethrower. You'll kill all the frogs and the other creatures. I know, but is it worth it? It might fuck us up a bit too. If we could make everything extinct, it would be worth it. We're not extinct in a bunch of stuff, boys, just because you don't like it. Your fucking cats are lazy.

They should be eating the fuck out of you. They should be. Why the fuck do you eat them? They don't lay around. If you stop feeding them, there'll fucking be no bugs. It's the cat shit that the fucking flies are attracted to, I guarantee you. And I'm going to place an order for 10,000 bats. Where do you order those now, Ricky?

Amazon. Amazon sells bats, do they? I'll look it up. I don't have to look it up, because I'll tell you right now, they don't sell 10,000 bats. All right. Well, fucking bats are us. What's the company that we bought, like, fucking ladybugs before, right? We did, California. California. Maybe they sell bats. What's the company that we bought, like, fucking ladybugs before, right?

We did. California. California. Maybe they sell bats. What's the difference? There's not really a difference. Bats, ladybugs, still flying. Oh, yeah, they're very similar.

Flying creatures. Very similar. But you know what? I think you're bats, man. I like bats. Bats are... Well, can't we build, like, little bat houses and shit? Sure we can.

Put them up all over the fucking park. My kitties would like chasing bats. Bat trailers. Well, there you go. We need some bats. Bats are... Well, can't we build, like, little bat houses and shit? Sure we can. Put them up all over the fucking park. My kitties would like chasing bats. Bat trailers. Well, there you go. We need some bats. We'll let them fucking live right in here. I don't care. That's my band, Bats, Bubbles and the Check Rockers.

All right, but there's... Bat shit's not good for you, though, is it? Guano. Yeah, we'll be doing... Guano, they make all kinds of things. They make bowls out of guano. What? Something happened in Nova Scotia.

All the bats fucking died. Are you kidding me? Yeah. Yeah, there was some fucking weird disease. Probably some fucking maniac sprayed them with fucking 10,000 cans of fucking raid. There was some fucking disease going around which only affected bats. All the bat flu. Wiped the fuckers right out.

Bat flu. No, I think it has something to do with gnawing. They're starting to come back now. But go on. Every fucking one of them. Go on. I was the fuckers right out. Bat flu. No, I think it has something to do with knock. They're starting to come back now, but gone. Every fucking one of them, gone. It was an STD. I was thinking about getting a cow. A cow?

What? Why? How many black flies do they eat? They don't, man. They shit everywhere, and that causes even more flies. I'd like to have a cow. I'm going to get a cow to eat. By the way, you got a musket rat living under your shed.

I saw it the other day. A what? Musket rat. A musket rat? What, is he from the Civil War, is he? A what? Is he from the Civil War, the musket rat? What the fuck is a musket rat?

It's one of those things that's half beaver, half fucking rat. He means a muskrat. Do you know what a muskid is? A muskid? A muskid? The muskrat. Do you know what a muskid is? A muskid? A muskid. A muskid's the big long gun they used in the Civil War where you put her down. I'm not talking about a gun. I'm talking about the fucking creature.

Well, you've got to stop fucking up the word like that. It's called a muskrat. Muskrat. What's the difference? Well, one would be a rat that has a fucking gun that comes out and he shoots at you and he's got a little uniform on. That would be scary. That would be a musket rat. And a muskrat's just big.

Yeah, it's kind of like a half beaver, but he's got a tail like a rat. Part groundhog too, isn't he? Yeah. But he likes the water. Speaking of the groundhogs, the little fucking Patukstee Phil. Patukstee-onnie Phil. Patukstee-onnie. What about it? Patukstee Phil. Patukstee Arnie Phil. Patukstee Arnie. What about Patukstee Arnie Phil?

I think you fucked up his name last year. Patukstee Arnie Phil and Phyllis. That's his wife. Phyllis is his wife. Yeah. Patukstee Arnie Philly. They named their kids. They what?

Yeah. They had kids. Two of them. Sonny and Shadow. Do people take care of those little fuckers? They're just getting carried away with the whole thing. They're fucking temperature controlled little fucking. They're like celebrity fucking.

Oh, they get. How's Phil? They get massages. They get everything. Yeah, they ask the fucking. They're like, no, no, no. Phil's like royalty. I'd like to get Phil a little massage.

Sonny and Shadow are not going to be involved with the ceremony. There's only one fucking Phil Patukstioni. Phil Patukstioni sounds like a mobster. I'd like to give Phil a little massage. Get him on his back and get him right in, you know, where his legs join his body. Give him dogs in there. I bet you he'd straight sleep. Where his legs join? Like near in, you know, where his legs join his body. Give him dogs in there. I bet you he'd straighten right out. Where his legs join?

Like near his region? No, no. Up his hip, the top flexor. Right in there by his belly. I bet you he'd straighten right out. I'd like to name. What's his name? I'd like to name this episode.

What's his name? Okay, let's name it. Slingless in Seattle. Why? Boom. Why? Boom. Why? What? Slink, what do you mean?

Oh, he's got his thing off. Holy shit, man. I didn't even notice. Congratulations, bud. Seven weeks. Of hell. Congratulations, man. That was a fucking shitstorm, boys.

It's not over yet, but it's... You gotta get a... I'm doing physio. You still look fucked, man. You look like the hunchback. I am still fucked. That's my fucking collarbone. It's still not...

It's still up there. It's supposed to be down here. So I'm doing some physio. I probably still need fucking surgery, but I'm not doing it right now. Can you give us a fist pump? No, I can't do that. Actually, I can.

You want to go with that, or...? Yeah, I can. There you go, Rick. Now do this. Yeah, man. Pump it, Rick. You'll do some flies, man. You gotta get the dumbbells up. Yeah, listen. Now do this. Yeah, man. Pump it, Ricky. You'll do some flies, man. You got to get the dumbbells up. Yeah, listen.

I'll help you out, man. Really? Yeah, man. I'll get that string for you. Oh, you got, look. You got fucking muscle Tony. My buddy. You got muscle Tony Phil here.

I will fucking help him, man. Muscle Tony Phil. Anyway, guess what, boys? I think I found my wife. I'm going to try to get a hold of her. And if she's watching this, I doubt it because she lives like in Ethiopia. Where did she come from? Ethiopia.

But she's like way the fuck. Ethiopia? She's deep into the fuck. How did you meet her now? I haven't. But number one, she's very hot. And number two, she hasn't had anything to eat or drink in 16 years. Can you imagine that?

That's not possible. No more fucking buying meals. No more buying her booze. That's not possible. You can't live for 16 years with no food or water. Yeah, you want to tell her. There's a guy that fucking traveled all the way from the States, did this crazy journey to find her, and you'll see.

She's hot. You can't live without food or water for 16 years, Julian. It's a scam. Yeah. It's not a scam, man. She's hot. You can't live without food or water for 16 years, Julian. It's a scam. Yeah, it's not a scam. She's playing you. It's a good way to start your fucking marriage. You're going to get married to her, and guess what? As soon as she gets you, she's going to be like, take me to the buffet.

Let's go to KFC. I am so fucking hungry, you have no idea. But if anybody asks, I don't eat. That she has not eaten in 16 fucking years. You're telling, look, she's got beautiful skin. You're telling me that's skin. I'm telling you. If she did, she'd have scurvy, first of all.

Yeah. She'd have fucking scurvy. She doesn't look like she's fucking. Well, she'd be just amazing. Did you ever hear of dehydration? Yeah. Did you ever hear of that? Did you ever hear that she's still fucking alive and she's running around happy as fuck?

She's full of shit. And everybody in the fucking village is saying, even the doctor there, I'm the person that looks after her. It's a scam, Julian. They're trying to sell it as a tourist attraction. But what is she trying to do? She's not getting anything. She's running out behind the hut and chugging fucking water.

You gotta take a fucking plane to Ethiopia, which is a long flight. Then you gotta take another flight to this other one. Right, and they probably are getting kickbacks from the airlines. And then you've got to take a four-hour fucking drive through mud and shit. Right, and the rental car company that gets you there, kickbacks. I can't believe you haven't figured this out yet. Maybe someday you'll learn what love is really about, man.

He's pretty gullible. You know what I mean? Maybe. Oh, I know, Duane. You are gullible. You love her because you're going to not have to spend a cent on her. That's why you love her. You know what?

There's a zoo in China that you need to visit, my friend. What's that? A zoo? Yeah. Okay, what is it? Is that the sex zoo? No, you can go to that, too. They get caught dying dogs that look like pandas.

You'd be over there going, hey, look at the cute little pandas. Dogs? Okay, man. Dogs. A zoo, an actual zoo did this. They died some chow chows to look like pandas. Okay, chow chows. And they got caught.

They don't look like pandas. They fucking look quite a bit like pandas when they're dogs. Do you know how big a fucking panda is? Have you ever seen a fucking 900-pound chow chow? They're like fucking little teenage pandas. Yeah, little. And here's pound chow chow? Fucking little teenage pandas. And here's what fucked them. They're 900 pounds, boy. There's one big problem with the fucking idea.

What's that? Pandas don't wag their tails. Yeah, no shit. I've met a panda. They also painted a fucking donkey to look like a zebra. Yeah, that's easy. A lot of people do that, man. Why not just get a zebra? Well, they're not easy to get. You look like a zebra. Yeah, it's easy. A lot of people do that, man. Why not just get a zebra? Well, they're not easy.

You should get a cow. I tried to get a zebra one time. It was very difficult to get. Well, you should get a cow. Paint the cow to look like a zebra. We'll set it up. Charge money. One buck a pet.

They already have, and they're called Zeb cows. They're called Zeb cows. We could sell zebra milk. Did you hear about this fucking teenager in Chicago? 17 years old, she's got her doctorate degree in integrated behavioral health. She's like doing the university when she was 10. Wow.

How old is she? 17. She's already got her bachelor's, her master's, and her fucking doctoral? Doctoral? She's got all that and you, her master's, and her fucking doctoral? She's got all that and you can't even pronounce the fucking word. It just goes to show you that there's still hope for me. Does it? I could spend the next seven years doing what she did.

No? No, there's no fucking way you're operating on anybody, man. Your brain's not going to absorb information the same way as hers. Exactly. And number one, you'd be cheating on every fucking exam, which is not good if you're a doctor, man. You know what I mean? I wouldn't be real confident

going in to go under the fucking knife with you there, Ricky. High as a kite. Let me at ya. High as a kite. But then again... Probably using a blowtorch. I'd fucking get a treat right before they fall asleep when you put them under. I'd be like, I'm going to do some weird things to you you know what we gotta do with him

this would be awesome we gotta get this motherfucker on something like Survivor cause if anybody I could fucking blow the shit out of that show can you just imagine it would be entertaining man I'd like to be on Naked and Not Afraid

Naked and Not Afraid Naked and Not Afraid even better you and Randy should do it we should make a show we should fucking do it Naked and Not Afraid where you and Randy

just go out in the wilderness strip off and then just get high just drop me in a fucking helicopter in a big bag of dope the best would be coming I'm telling you

it would be that would be the best thing ever you'd be eating fucking squirrels and fucking worms and bugs. I'd come home and fucking put on 40 pounds. He would. Naked and not afraid. He would, man. Naked and high.

We wouldn't even have to go in the wilderness. I'd have to go somewhere with no mountain lions because they freak me out a little bit. She's got a kid. Oh, I'll somewhere with no mountain lions because they freak me out a little bit. She's got a kid. Oh, I'll deal with the mountain lions. You can't have a kid if you don't eat and drink. No, no, I'm talking about, yeah, she has a kid. Well, here's the other problem. If she doesn't eat or drink.

What? She's going to be a little dry in places. Dude. She's a nomad. You're in love, aren't you? I can tell by the little fucking dumb look on your face she couldn't have a baby if she doesn't eat or drink julian she's got a baby how'd the baby get fed and the baby looks like it's fed and doing well so what she breastfeed fucking hair to the baby

she's just there coming out of fucking superhero man this is what I'm saying. Osmostist? Okay, no, no. Oh, we got some religious shit going on here now. Isn't there some thing that you can osmostist, where it goes from one thing to the other? Oh, yeah, osmostist. I got a good buzz on, boys. Oh, yeah, me too. So do I.

Oh, man, this guy fucking shoved his fist right up the government's ass. It was awesome. What did he do? What guy? Guy in Seaside, California. Had his fishing boat parked in his driveway. Finally, after all his complaints, the city said,

can't keep your fishing boat in your driveway, bud. If you're going to keep it there, you've got to build a fence to hide it. So he did. And then he found out his next-door neighbor was a mural artist. Mm-hmm. So he got his neighbor to come over and just painted an exact, like,

photograph-quality image of his boat on the fence. Nice. So it just looks like the boat's still sitting right in the driveway. It's fucking spectacular. Oh, you like that, Ricky? Yeah. That's a classic Ricky maneuver. Ricky likes that.

Fucking brilliance. It's pretty good. I mean, and now are they going to say you can't, they're going to pass a new bylaw? Nothing we can do. Well, they'll try to pass a bylaw where you can't have a painted fence with a mural on it. And all the neighbors that complain, they're kind of like,

fucking smart, fucking smart. Well, remember when What's-His-Name had his fence down at the end of the park and he had Jesus painted on it? Yeah. With his wiener out. There was nothing they could do about that. Remember? Yes, I remember, Bubbs.

Why was the wiener so small? Well, I don't know, but he put a halo on it, remember? Everybody thought it was a cock ring. And then he just said, you know, this is Jesus. It's my religion. It was like a version of Jesus, Jesus 2.0. I don't know if that even happened. Maybe I just thought of that, did I?

I don't know, man. I don't remember it. They got this little portal video screen now, one in New York and one in Dublin. Oh, I've seen it. It's unbelievable. They were expecting people to pull out their wangs and tits. Oh, is that what they're doing? Doing drugs. What was this?

One woman fucking humped it for 20 minutes. Have you seen it? No, man. So they got two portals, right? One's in New York. One's in Ireland. It's fucking great big round cocksucker. It's pretty cool.

It's about as tall as the trailer. There's a camera at the top, and when you walk up to it, you're looking right into it, right? It's just like a wall, and you're seeing the people in Ireland that are looking at you. So you can wave to them and shit. It's like you're standing facing them. It's cool, but some fuckheads have been fucking all up.

Oh, I didn't know people were pulling their wieners out and showing them to the Irish. Like, what the fuck is wrong with people? People are stupid. Just get high and fucking enjoy it. Oh, it's terrible that they're ruining it. It's fucking, it's really. You can stand there and be waving. It looks like the people in Ireland are standing right in front of you

and you're just waving to them and chatting. Do you know anything about portals, man? I know them. Do I know anything about portals? Do you know that there's supposed to be 17 portals that they know about? What type of portals? Where you can fucking hop in and you're gone. Philadelphia Experiment, you ever hear of that fucking thing?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I don't know, man. That's what people have been talking about a lot lately. I thought a portal was just one of those windows in a ship. No, they're saying... Well, it is. It is, yeah.

It's just the way you say it. That's a portal. It's a porthole. Anyway, these things are supposed to, like, fucking transport you, like, to wherever. Like fire track shit? That's what they're saying, man. That's how they're saying the aliens are getting back. It's supposed to transport you to another...

Think of the physics behind that. Oh, I know, man. That's why when they did the Philadelphia experiment, a bunch of people died. They went through the portal and they fucked up. You gotta move to Cuba, bud. I'll go. Who? You. Why? They got through the portal. They fucked up. You got to move to Cuba, bud. I'll go. Who? You.

Why? They got a fucking problem with feral cats. Oh, get me a ticket. Well, if you don't go. I might move to Turkey anyway. If you don't go, they're going to kill them all. What? So you got to find a way to fucking deal with this problem.

Here's what's happened. They're fucking eating the goddamn endangered crocodiles, which sounds fucked, but... What? There's these special crocodiles in Cuba. There's only 3,000 left in the world, and they're like these miniature ones. They only grow to like 7 1⁄2 feet tall. 7 1⁄2 feet tall?

But these little feral cats are fucking eating the babies. Tall? Yeah, that's a tall cat crocodile, man. Oh, man. They stand upright, do they? 16 feet. Yeah, but that's long, not tall. That's long, Ricky, not tall.

They don't stand on their fucking hind legs. These ones can. They got long legs. They do. They got long legs and they stand upright. I don't know if they stand upright. Do they still have the little arms, the little short arms, but the long legs? I would like that.

These cats are fucking just annihilating the little babies. They're fucking just eating the shit out of them, ripping them apart. It's fucking, so, yeah, they're going to try to get rid of them unless you go down there and deal with it. I've been thinking about moving to Istanbul. Why? Is that in Cuba? Because of the kitties.

There's a lot of kitties? Well, they're allowed. They're everywhere in the city, and they're allowed to be there. The city looks after them. But you walk into a club, you say you walked into fucking Masarasi in Istanbul, there'd be kitties just laying all over the store. People come in and pet them and feed them. Don't they get like fucking lice?

No, because the city takes care of them. Takes care of them how? Cleans them, feeds them? Yes. Wow, what a waste of money, man. And it's, you're not, everybody, every store owner. All in the taxpayers' money. Every store owner, you're not allowed

to ban kitties from your store. There's just kitties everywhere. That's fucked. What if you're allergic to kitties, like I am? I'd be fucked. Well, you don't have to go out and pet them. Well, they'd just be everywhere, man. Be buying some clothes. They're not everywhere, but they're, you know, they're in the streets, and they're in cafes,'re not everywhere, but they're, you know, they're in the streets and they're in cafes and in shops and they're just kiddies.

They're allowed to be there. So I'm moving. Maybe. I'm looking into it. It's May the 17th already. Yeah, I reckon. That's good. We're getting right into the summer now, right?

Hey, bubs. It's a long weekend, gentlemen. Good one. It's a good weekend. It seems like every weekend's a long weekend for us. I'm getting severely fucked up. This is a real official long weekend. Victorious Day.

Victorious. Victoria Day. Victoria. I thought it was victorious, like we won the war today. No, Victoria, the queen. Queen Victoria. She's not here anymore no but they still that's her day it's her day today what would they change it to king charles day uncle chuck uncle chuck day all right here's the question for you who owns all the fucking swans in the world now

who owns them yeah the queen who'd she leave them to? The king. King Charles owns all the fucking swans. He doesn't give a fuck about swans. He loves swans. No, does he? Really? Yeah, he's got that long neck with the fucking big ears. He looks like one. Well, he just, you know, if you look like a swan, you're going to like swans.

He doesn't really look like a swan. He looks like Alfred E. Newman. Mad magazine. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He looks like Alfred E. Newman. Mad magazine. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He does. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. He kind of does, man. Yeah.

I like the King, do I? I don't know. Or is he an arsehole? I don't know. I don't know him. Oh, I don't know him either. Well, he could be a dick or he could be all right. He's been waiting around for a long time to be the king. Yeah.

He doesn't get a lot of king time. No. He's not really that healthy. I wonder if he rolls around, you know, rolls around in a nice car and just is like, I'm the king. Jaguar or Land Rover? Probably. He should have a Lambo. He's not driving a Lambo, man.

No, he wouldn't drive an Italian car, Rick. He's going to drive a British car. McLaren. McLaren? He might have a McLaren. There's no way he has one of those, man. He's not that cool. Well, then he's not. They do use Land Rovers.

Oh, I know they do. They use those. What do they call it? The Royals. The Royals. The Royals use those. How are you feeling about your Oilers, Bubbs? Well, they're fine.

It's going to be, yeah. But here's what I want to say. I mean, they're never going to be... If the Oilers win or the Canucks win, whatever team wins, they should put a Canadian flag on their jersey. They're the last Canadian team left. You know what? And Canada hasn't won the Cup since 93.

I think that's a good idea. And we have contacts with the Oilers. We have some connections. We could probably make it happen. We know the assistant. Canada hasn't won the Cup since when? 93, wasn't it? Something like that, yeah.

No. I think the Canadians were the last Cup, right? Really? That's it, man. And you know what? We know Paul Coffey, who's the assistant coach now. We do.

Let's get him on the horn. Do we have any Vancouver Canucks connections? Yeah. All right. We do, actually. Do we who? I've got a couple.

Don't worry about it. Next round, I want to see the Canadian flag on one of their jerseys. Let's get the Canadian... Well, do you know what? Canada behind you. Let's start a movement. All right. Canadian one of their jerseys. Let's get the Canadian. Well, you know what? Canada behind you. Let's start a movement.

All right. Canadian flag on the jerseys. Hashtag flag on the jersey. That's right. What does hashtag mean? I like it. It's just hashtag, man. I know.

Hashtag. How come we've never done anything with a hashtag? Hashtag hash. That's a good one. Hashtag ash. Tag. Let's see who got born on May the 17th. Marshall Applewhite.

Who? American cult leader. Never heard of him. What's his name? Marshall Applewhite. A cult leader? Yeah. Oh, was he the Heaven's Gate?

Oh, Heaven's Gate. Oh, yeah. He was the Heaven's Gate guy. He was fucked. Put on your Nikes and fuck, kill yourself. He was fucked. He was fucked up. Get on your brand new Nike shoes I got you and then kill yourself. Is that the Kool-Aid guy? No, no. That was Jim Jones. Alright. Jim Jones. What's this guy do? How'd he fucking

He told them they were all going to fucking heaven in a spaceship and they had to be wearing their brand new Nike shoes. Yeah. I bet you Nike was real fucking happy when they saw that on the news. Yeah, that's. Get on your fucking death sneakers. They should have like a special edition Nike for him come out.

Oh, yeah. You know, it would sell a lot, I bet. How many years ago did that happen? You know, what if I owned like Adidas? I would start a lot, I bet. How many years ago did it happen? You know what? If I owned, like, Adidas, I would start a whole thing saying that, yeah, Nike's selling Heaven's Gate limited editions. That would be a good one, man. I would start the rumor. Dennis Hopper, he was great, man.

We should watch a Hopper film this weekend. Fucking right. So we're going to watch True Romance. He was great, man. Oh, we're going to watch fucking. He was a dad, man. Well, yeah, going to watch fucking... He was a dad, man. Well, yeah, actually, true romance. Bill Paxton.

Good actor. Billy P. Bob Saget. Cheers to Bob. Cheers to Bob. Happy birthday, bud. Happy birthday, Bob Saget. Is it really his birthday on the 17th? Correct.

Wow. And somebody else's birthday. Sugar Ray Leonard. Did you know that? Get the fuck out of town. Enya. SRL they call him. Good music.

Trent Reznor. Trent Reznor. Frontman Nine Inch Nails. Yeah. We can blast the shit out of that. Alan Doyle. What? Big Alan D.

From Big Great Big C. Cutty Harbor Newfoundland. Yeah, he's a good dude. Jordan Knight. Jordan Knight. What was he from? Boy band? He was a...

New Kids on the Block. A jouster. One of your favorite boy bands. He was a jouster. He was a jouster from medieval times. And Josh, homie. Yeah. Is it Josh's birthday?

It is. We'll have to send Josh a message. Some other guy. Jean-Paul Chambly? Good guy. No, he's a dickhead. Yeah, I heard he's a bit of a dick.

Well, happy birthday to all those guys. Is that it? What a crazy fucking day for birthday. What a crazy day to get born. Woo! Woo! Go buy your Nike shoes. No, we're not doing that.

Heaven's Gate, Jim Jones, he was a crazy cocksucker, wasn't he? Yeah, fuck. Poor fuckers. They get caught up in it. Well, they believe it, right? They think they're, you know. Hey, is that where the expression, they're drinking the Kool-Aid comes from?

Yeah. Holy fuck, see? Look at this guy. What, you didn't know that? No, I thought it was just from Kool-Aid's good drink. Drink it up. No, Ricky.

Drinking the Kool-Aid means you're fucking buying into bullshit just like you do. I get it now. I'm going to start using that expression every day because now I understand it.

Hey, Kool-Aid. You don't got to be saying it every day, though, Rick. Remember him? The big cock-suckered bust through the wall? Whatever happened to that guy? They got rid of him. What, did they just tie him up for a while?

No, he got, he was, he got mental illness. He's probably fucking... He realized he was crashing through walls. It was all because he was depressed. His body must be fucked. No, he's a jug, Ricky. He's a glass jug. He's got hands, doesn't he, and legs?

Yeah. They've got to be fucking... Didn't you ever see the thing that Ryan Reynolds did where he's on Bob Vila? No, I didn't see that, man. What did he do? Amazing. The Kool-Aid man was on Bob Vila? Yeah.

He was crashing through walls and Bob Vila was trying to fix them, but then they realized the Kool-Aid guy was, the real problem was in his heart, he was sad. That's why he was crashing through walls. Wow, that sounds like a good video game. You've never seen that? No, man. Oh, you gotta watch it.

All right, here's some amazing facts, guys. Your thumb has its own pulse. Don't know how, it does. What? That's all I know. Oh, because your thumb hurt. You get a little hurt right here. No, you don't, man. Thumb hurt.

That's a good band name, the Thumb Hurts. Thumb Pulse. No, I don't like Thumb Pulse. Goosebumps. You ever hear of a movie called Goosebumps? Yeah. Yeah, Goosebumps. I thought it was a TV series.

R.L. Stine wrote the jokes for Bazooka Joe gum wrappers before he fucking did that. And you know what? Those jokes are lame. They're fucking terrible. They're horrible. They're fucking classics. Don't whammy for fucking R.L. Stine. They're classics.

They're not, man. They're horrible. Bazooka Joe had his own style. Oh, yeah. Imagine he saw that fucking ripping down the ocean. Do you know the Pringles? Shark with a cow on its back. Pringles chips?

They don't have any potato in them. No shit. Don't eat them. They're not good. No, they're made of cardboard. They're fucking horrible, man. There's not even potato powder or anything? I thought it was like powdered mashed potato.

Well, it's some flavor and shit, but this is flavor. What is it? Cardboard. Wow. It's just shit. Potato. The boxes that the potatoes come in, it's the cardboard. Well, that's why they're called chips and not potato chips.

I do like a Pringle once in a while. Me too, man. Maybe not so much now. No. You just fucked the whole Pringle corporation. No kidding. Fuck them. You know what? I could get the company to bounce back though. Well, they can come out with now made with real potatoes. Exactly. That's what I was thinking. McDonald's shakes

have no milk in them. I know. That's fucked. Holy shit, man. That's what I was thinking. McDonald's shakes have no milk in them. I know. That's fucked. Holy shit, man. That's a lot of fucking dogs. Queen Elizabeth II, who we were talking about, had over 30 corgis in her lifetime. That's a lot of fucking dogs, man. I've had over a thousand cats.

You're just fucking weird, though. I've had how many dogs? I've had one dog, maybe? Who's weird? Me? A little bit, with the cats. Because've had how many dogs? I've had one dog maybe. Who's weird? Me? A little bit with the cats. Because I had a thousand cats. Yeah.

Who's had fucking 600 fucking weight benches? No, I haven't. That's weird. That's so fucked. All right. Big weekend coming up, boys. All right, let's do it. Let's get it going.

Drunk. Let's get drunk for three nights. Actually, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Monday. Monday monday let's go four days straight four five yeah we're gonna have what the people from newfoundland called a day boil we're doing four days straight start right now all right so mix up another drink so what does that mean? You just shut it down? The whole day is just getting drunk. We do that anyway. Yeah. But not, we don't call it a day boil. This is the official day boil. Okay,

go get your weight bench out, number 576. Funny. Alright, say goodbye. When? Now. To who? You guys? Just to look in the fucking camera. Just look in the camera.

Don't say anything. See ya. To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the SwearNet Trailer Park Boys app. Fuck off.