Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 52 - Happy Borntday, Podcast!

Episode Date: August 1, 2016

Holy f**k, one year of podcasting! Ricky brought a cake and plenty of explosives to celebrate the big day. Plus, Bubbles is back after a few weeks of deals and seals. The Boys take a trip down podcast memory lane and recall the many highs and blows along the way! Episode 52 is brought to you by the Official Trailer Park Boys Store, and Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky!  

Okay, are we rolling? Yes, sir. Do you remember how to do this? What? The podcast. You've been gone for... I don't remember how. I was gone not that long. Well, you missed two of them. I remember how to do it, and I'm introing the thing because I am in charge.

No, listen. I've been kind of taking care of the whole intro thing, okay? Well, I'm back now, baby. What does it mean? The bitch is back. Welcome to the podcast. Trailer Pack Boys podcast. Is that all you got?

I don't know what number it is. See, you totally fucked that up. So how about I'll turn this on you? It's fucking party time. Ricky. Yep. This is our one year anniversary episode right here. 52 weeks.

I'm assuming that's what the cake's for, is it, Ricky? Yep. Do you have enough sparklers on that? I can put more on if you like. 52 weeks. I'm assuming that's what the cake's for, is it, Ricky? Yep. Do you have enough sparklers on that? Well, I can put more on if you like. Ricky, you're not lighting that. What do you mean, Mark? Whoa.

Ricky, you can't light a sparkler cake. Jesus, Marky. Not everybody can see this, Ricky. Some people can only hear it. It's a lot of smoke there. It's a lot of sparklers man. You're gonna Freaky you're gonna burn the fucking place down. That'd be awesome It does look pretty decent All right look at that. Nice job, Ricky. One year anniversary. Yeah.

There we go, boys. You missed one. Ricky, turn it off. Okay, there we are underway. We got a big sparkler show happening. Holy fuck. Ricky, how high are you? I'm about to go down.

I'm about to go down. I'm about to go down. I'm about to go down. I'm about to go down. I'm about to go down. I'm about to go down. I'm about to go down. I'm about to go down.

I'm about to go down. I'm about to go down. I'm about to go down. I'm about to go down. I'm about to go down. Okay, there we're underway. We got a big sparkler show happening. Holy fuck! Ricky, how high are you? I am fucked! Little bit drunk too. How high are you guys? Pretty high. I'm pretty high.

I'm pretty high. I don't think I'm anywhere near as high as you. Pretty high won't do for a 52 weeker. You know, since it is the 52, 52nd episode, I'm going to get high with you, bud. Let's get high and drunk. Okay, as long as we are all in agreement that I am back in charge of this. No, no, we are co-hosts, man. There's no, like, main guy.

How come they can't make a fucking sparkler that burns forever these days? There's everything else they can do. Well, it's basic physics, Ricky. Basic science. It needs a fuel to burn. If they could figure that out, they'd solve all the world's energy problems, wouldn't they? Sparkler-powered houses. What's this? I don't know.

Mystery. Mystery joints. Mystery joints. I rolled a bunch last week. And, uh... I don't like mystery joints. I don't remember which was which. It's definitely got hashity, because a piece just fell on my arm

and fucking blistered me. I like these blowtorch cozies. Kind of cool. Yeah, what is this on my beard? That's me on there. I like these blowtorch cozies. Kind of cool. Yeah, what is this on my beer? That's me on there. Just put it up to the camera, man. You know, it's hot out.

It's summertime. You got a beer. You need one of these cozies. It says get her in you on the back. Get her in you. So do I get money for that? Eventually. You probably wouldn't want to put the getter in your one on this that'd be painful

yes it would Ricky the getter in you doesn't mean shove the bottle up your arse it means drink oh you're not

going to drink fucking what is this propane propane dumbass could you drink propane

what would it do to you I thought you meant you were going to shove the propane tank up your arse. So did I. I was thinking about this part. Ricky, it's the 52nd anniversary, or the one year anniversary. 52nd week, I mean, that would be a special occasion.

Shove it right up to the beer cozy. Get a good grip on it. You guys are fucked. Remember you used to do it with those. I may or may not have lit a Roman candle out of there one time. Many Roman candles. Like, why would you fucking do that, man? It's a good party trick.

Not a great party trick. It's dangerous, man. For me or for the people that it gets shot at? Anybody around you and you. Especially you, man. They're not meant to be rammed up to your ass. Well, welcome back, bubs. So this is another fucking deal you did that I don't get paid for?

I was hanging out with my fucking pet seal. Or whatever the fuck you were doing. He's a nice seal. He's a very nice seal. Get pretty close to him, aren't you? I wouldn't say we're close. Do you do the belly work on him? I've... It's at the point where he lets me do belly work on him.

Did you neck with him? No, I didn't neck with him. Not attractive. You shouldn't be fucking touching him because... I think he's gonna be more happy with you than he is with me. I'm afraid to touch him. Yeah, then he's gonna go to a fisherman, he's gonna come up and he'll be like, hey, give me some belly work, and he's gonna fucking knock him on the head. Skin him and make mittens or something out of him.

I never thought of that. Oh, you just fucking... Mittens? They don't make mittens out of seals, do they? I don't fucking know. They make shit out of clothing or something, man. Seal mittens. Like seal pelts. I thought seals only had four man. Seal mittens. Like seal pelts. I thought seals only had four fingers.

What? They don't have fingers, man. On their little flappers. They don't have fingers, Ricky. Whatever, there's little... There's something there. It's web fingers, I guess. Fins. I don't know if you'd fit one of those on your hand anyway.

What the fuck are they? Flappers? Flippers. Flippers. See, Flippers. Remember Flipper? That dolphin? He was pretty awesome, wasn't he?

Remember Flipper, Ricky? I remember him. I loved him. And then I found out that they kept him in a fucking cage. And I was pissed. It was all was all fake man he wasn't real it wasn't real it wasn't a real dolphin out in the ocean it was in a fucking man-made dolphin cage lake well you just you didn't know that nope a cage lake they had him in a cage like today. So what did you think it was? He was just a real dolphin? They just, whenever they needed to film the show, they'd just go out looking for him?

He just seemed like, yeah, I did. I believed it. I thought it was real. But still, he should still enjoy the show, Ricky. I did like that speedboat. That was fucking cool. They don't make them like that anymore. Well, I'm getting along great with the seal.

That's nice. He's a good buddy of mine now. We watch the movie. There was other rumors going around that you were trying to... No, see, I guarantee you this rumor wasn't going around. I'm trying to see or touch Bieber's beaver. I was what? Trying to see or touch Bieber's beaver.

What are you talking about, Rick? I wasn't trying to touch Bieber's beaver. What are you talking about, Rick? What's the point of trying to touch Bieber's beaver? Bieber wouldn't have a beaver, would he? No, I guess not. I went to see Justin Bieber, yeah. Big deal. It was good. Did anything happen?

Yeah. No, nothing happened. I enjoyed the show. All right. Okay. Sorry. And you, uh, there's also rumors about you, I don't know, something to do with fluffing on, uh, Axel's hotel floor.

Fluffing? What's that? It's a term they use in the pornographic industry. Oh, a fluffer? Yes. Oh, that rumor was going around, wasn't it? Things fluffed up a bit. That I was being a fluffer. I don't know who it was for. On the Guns N' Roses store. That's not true. Some people said Axl, but a lot of people were saying it was the the actual manager, some Tom guy. Ricky, I wasn't doing that to anybody. Well, you know what? I don't give a fuck. It doesn't matter. Ricky!

I just wanted to see what would happen if I did that. It was exactly what I thought. Oh, my fuck, you're brilliant. That was brilliant. That was genius. You knew that before you did it, did you, that that would happen? Okay, anyway. Blowtorch pops balloons did it, did you? That that would happen. Okay, anyway. Blowtorch pops balloons, everyone, in case you didn't know. And I wasn't just out fucking around.

Just so we're clear, I was out making deals. Bullshit. I was making fucking deals for this. What do you mean, making deals? Drug deals? See this old fucking thing I've been talking into here for one year? Guess what? The mic?

Or microphone as other people call it? Yeah, well, that's the end of this mic. Goodbye. Because look at this. What are you talking about? I got us all new microphones, boys. What the fuck is that? Look at this.

Why are you doing deals without me? Why couldn't you say, hey, I've got a meeting? Why are you doing deals without me? Because I'm you say, hey, I've got a meeting... Why are you doing deals without me? Because I'm kind of doing the deals for us, man. Yeah, well guess what? I did a great big deal and you're not gonna know... Well what if I had a fucking other deal going with another mic company, man? Okay, I'm not sure what fucking kind of deals you're making here.

This is... Get ready. Ricky! What the fuck are you doing? Ricky, do not fucking burn my new microphone. It's not. It's fucking bees. Shake it up. It's not.

There's a fucking beekeeper right here, and look what it says on the front. It's a king bee. It's not, though, Ricky. It's a mic- Ricky. You think this is- Okay, go ahead, open it, but I'm going to be fucking ready for the king bee. I'll tell you right now.

It's a microphone called the king bee. Who would name a microphone a king bee and put a beekeeper on a fucking box? It's a neat microphone. This is what bees are shipped in, just so you know. It isn't, Ricky. It's just plastic with holes in it. Okay, this is just relax. Look.

There's no bees in here. This is from the nice people at Gibson. Gibson, a neat microphone. Ricky. Okay, look at this. Look, there's the manual right there. Oh, cocked in. Just stuck the manual beekeeper on it.

Ricky, you're gonna... Ricky! You burnt the hair off my hand! Sorry, boss. You burnt the mic, man. Okay, you know what? Now it is a mic, I think. Just keep your fucking paws off of it.

I am doing the unboxing. It looks like a microphone. What's this thing here though, man? It's a little bee. Yeah, that's a bee. Maybe that's what needs the fucking torch. What the fuck do you need that for? Careful, Julian. Ricky.

What is it? It's plastic. It's probably a crucial part, so just leave it until I figure out what's going on. Look at these, boys. They look like big bumblebees. But they're microphones. That's a... Looks like a jar of honey. Look at that. That's decent. They should start selling honey in the same fucking containers. That is decent. Look at all the parts. Gotta be something else under here. Decent.

That's the mounting thing there. That's the thing here. No, I don't want you holding it, actually. I can hold it for you. Ricky. Ricky, just look. They took the time to package it all nice. What the fuck? This is a crucial part.

There ain't a stop. Jesus, Murphy. Do you need this thing? Hit the ground, luckily. Wheels are coming off now. Ricky, this is not how you do an unboxing. Jesus Christ, that's in there good. Just hold.

Here, I'll hold it for you. I can get it. You just need to finesse it out of the pack. There. See that? There's the... That's what the microphone goes into right there. Holy fuck, look at that little...

What is it? That's called a shock mount, Ricky. See? So you take the mic... It should have been in there when it hit the floor. It would have helped, probably. Jam her in like that. Look at that. That's going to be decent. It's kind of big, but it is cool. Hello there. Welcome to the podcast. That's what that's going to be like. Are you going to sound and smell better than us? No, Ricky, because I'm like fucking Mr. Greedy Pants over here.

I actually got three more of these cocksuckers on the way. No, you fucking didn't. We're all getting a new mic. All got our own bumblebees. Look at that. That's called a pop filter. I know that. Thanks, bubs. That clips right on there somehow. Happy days.

Maybe it screws on, does it? Anyway, oh, there, that goes on like that. Look at that. Happy Lays. So what's the catch? We get this stuff for free, but we have to what? We don't have to do anything. We just talk into them. There's something there. It's got a tube in it. It's a tube microphone. Up that case. Those are gonna be new.

Okay, what do you use this thing for then? What the fuck is that? That's a... Ricky! That was the sound of almost dying. It's just a blowtorch, bubs. Yeah, and if it explodes, we all go up in flames. Well, at least we all go together, buddy. Just take it easy with the fucking blowtorch.

I don't know what that is. I'll have to do some research. It's a bus. It looks like a thing for oranges, maybe. Peeling oranges. Now that you're back, who's gonna be in charge here? I am. Clearly. Because I got us the new microphone. What does Julian think of that? I don't really care what he thinks of that. So how would you do?

Yeah, that's what it is. It's just a little display for your studio desk. A little b- stupid. Is it a Bob-O-B? Yeah, what the fuck isble. It's stupid. Is it a bauble bee? Yeah, what the fuck is it? It's a bauble. Ah, fuck! Yeah, careful, buddy. Those might still be hot. And put him there.

Look at that. Just like that. All right. So. Oh, you know what I don't have, though? Ah, fuck. We don't have anything to mount them on to. This got shit all over the cake.

Julian, have a piece of cake and see if it still tastes good. I'm not gonna taste that fucking thing. I got nothing to mount these fucking things onto, boys. My gosh, Austin, you said it's your favorite. What are we gonna do there? Dr. D. We're going, bud. See, if I negotiated the deal, we'd have the stands, the arms, everything, man, instead of this.

Here. Like, what the fuck would he do? Why do we need the arms that these mount. You know what we gotta do? No. Gotta do an arms deal. Get it? Yeah, I got it. Get it? It's real fun.

You could probably go over it. All over North. Just put that on there like that. Wrap this guy around. Ricky, careful with my new mic. That's not gonna work, man. What are you doing? Fucking snake blooper.

Fuck. Ricky. I love this fucking snake. I didn't know what you were doing. He was trying to mount a... Fuck me. Just leave it there. It's not a rope, man.

Oh, my poor fucking snake. What do you expect, Ricky? The thing's not made to mount a microphone. Fuck's sakes. Do you know how to sew, bubs? Check one, two microphone fucks sakes do you know how to so much to check? Huh, you know how to so? Not a snake Ricky. No this thing works. I'm over No, I'll deal with it Ricky. I'm gonna make a difference. You're right man. Good. I'm

Gonna make a different deal Ricky Get her jammed right in there. That's looking good. Ricky, this is a terrible idea. It's pretty cool. It almost worked. Be careful with my brand new microphone, please. All right. We will mount that later. Fuck off! Falling on my foot. Fucking you up.

Great podcast, Bubz. Well, if you're charged then, Bubz, what do you want to talk about? Actually, Ricky, the whole point of this thing... Mm-hmm. What the fuck? He won't give up until he has that thing strapped to that arm somehow.

So might as well just let him do it. All right, but what are we talking about? Well, the point of the podcast for me for the last year was that we could talk about anything. All right. So what are you gonna talk about? Anything. What do you wanna talk about?

Look at that baby. Okay, that's great, Ricky. All right, well, you know what? Actually, I do have something we could talk about. What? Me and Cory and Jacob were sitting around the campfire last night. That should be good. And Cory asked me a question that I didn't have the answer to,

so maybe you guys can try to help me come up with it. All right. Which animals fuck the hardest? Jesus, man. I mean, I know, like, fuck the hardest? What do you mean when you're saying hardest? You mean that or like hammering the shit out of their female? Well, Ricky, have you ever seen a lion?

They go. They give her. Lions are, you know, they're up like this, just like nothing's going on. Then you pan down, and it's just like... They've got their claws, like, right in there. Like... Yeah. Just his hips moving.

The rest of him is just like... Could you show us how it would look? No, Ricky, I can't do that. Look, this is all... Because I was wondering, I mean, I knew, like, a rhinoceros, they kind of just... Is it a rhinoceros or a hippo, one of them, that gets on top of the thing and it's there for a couple hours and it's not even really doing anything?

I don't know how that feels good for either one of them. It's all in his mind, I think. So I was thinking of what animals tee off on each other. I mean, a dog on a hump of your leg. An elephant, there'd be a lot of damage done there, I'd say. No, slow too. Slow and long. Slow and dirty. Yeah.

I would think there's some breeds of monkeys that really fucking go at it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Squirrels too. I heard squirrels like to fuck a lot. Well, monkeys, they'll bang anything. They don't care. It's just as bad.

You're talking the hardest, like the most pounds per square inch. I asked Corey and he wasn't sure but it sounded like he was thinking like speed and power. So pounds per square inch on impact.

I don't know what that means but I would say a lion is going to have the Lion? What about something underwater? No because the water

is going to slow down. The water is going to create a cushion. Yeah good thought. A fucking cushion. Unless down? The water's gonna create a cushion. Yeah, good thought. A fuck cushion. Unless it was a fast fucking animal like a shark. Why would a shark be able to bang really hard, Ricky?

Because he's mean and he's got all that anger. He just wants to take it out on people. So if he doesn't bang somebody, he'd probably bite somebody. I don't know if it's anger. I think it's more you know, he's hungry. Ricky, first of all, sharks don't just swim around angry. Why are they so pissed off at everyone? They're not pissed off, Ricky.

They're just looking to eat. There's a million billion fish and other things to eat in the fucking ocean besides us. Yeah, but it's easy to eat. You need to watch Shark Week, Ricky. Sharks generally don't just attack people to eat them. That's a myth. You saw Jaws 400 times.

That's your problem. Imagine that little fucker coming at you. Or big fucker, I guess he was. He wasn't real, though, Ricky. He was an animatronic shark. It was based on a true story. Jaws was? Yeah.

What story? It was a boat-eating shark or something. I think it was near Australia. A boat-eating shark? No, man. Maybe it was a whale. I can't remember.

A boat-eating whale. So we're going to end it on Lion. I think Lion, yeah. You ever seen a giraffe bang? Nope. Why, can I ask why you and Corey and Jacob were talking about that? Well, Corey always asks weird fucking questions late at night.

And I was, usually have an answer, but I didn't have an answer for that one. I wouldn't have guessed Lyon. What other questions does he ask, do you remember? He was asking how piss worked. Which I didn't really know the answer to, but I think it's just basically you drink stuff and your body has all these things in it that turns it into piss. And then you piss it out. I didn't know all the scientific words and shit, but... Yeah, I'm sure there's a lot of scientific words

involved in how piss is made. So that's what he said to you. How does piss work? Yeah. He said, like, how do I drink this beer? And then it gets made into piss. That's a good, actually pretty good question. I mean, if you wanted to know

the whole medical thing of it, you know, breaking it down, but... It's fucked. It's a little bit fucked. Where'd you get this fucking cake, man? I made it. You made it. How do you not?

I'm not. No, fucking try it. I've been doing a lot of cooking, boys. I used to make all the fucking cakes in jail. You'd eat every one of those. How much hash or weed is in this cake, Ricky? Don't fucking try to tell me there's none. Not very much.

I didn't want us to pass out, so I kept it pretty minimal. Why are you giving it to me first? Well, because you like cake. You're trying to see if it's going to be toxic. Ricky, I can smell the weed in it. I don't think there's any weed in it. I don't remember putting weed in it. Smell that.

Oh, man. That's fucked. Got him with the old strip of the book. You know what? That's the weed butter. I forgot about the weed butter. Oh, for fuck's sake. I just licked all the frosting off my fingers.

Here, can you lick it off my nose? I'll give you ten bucks if you lick it off his nose, man. I'm not licking it off his nose. Ten bucks. I'm not licking frosting off Ricky's nose. You know what the problem here is? What? I don't think we're high enough.

Do you think... Here's a question, Ricky. I can't find my lighter again. Here's a question, Ricky. Do you think we've been too high any time in the last 52 weeks of making this show? Do you think we ever got too high? Like now, you mean? No, in the episodes that went by, all 52 of them. I don't think we've ever been this high, have we?

Amsterdam? Were we high in Amsterdam? Oh, man. Higher than this? They should cut to a clip. What was your thing with swans, man? Every time we go somewhere, you want to go fucking see the swans. They're a glorious, glorious bird.

But why? What makes them glorious? I think it's their necks. When you're really big, they can do all these weird things with their neck. Didn't you wish you had a neck like that when you were young? No, man. I've never thought about having a fucking neck like a swan. Are you kidding me? What are you talking about? I think the Muffins are kicking in, boys.

Great. And the cookies. And the cookies. And everything else. I think I'm too far off to continue. No, you're not. What are you talking about? We're just having a great time.

Ricky. Okay. You wanted to have a neck like a swan when you were younger? That's fun. Why would you want a neck like a swan, Ricky? So he can see behind you. Ricky, stop it, please. You're killing me.

Boys, I don't think I've ever been this high. Oh, yes, you have, Ricky. I thought I had, but I can't make stuff like this. I've made a lot of stuff in my day, boys, but this, wow. These people know what they're doing. I need a lot more booze, guys. Like, soon. I need to eat, and I what they're doing. I need a lot more booze, guys. Like, soon. I need to eat.

And I can't eat anything else with weed in it. Yeah? Should we finish that joint? I want to keep talking about the swan. No. Okay. I just assumed that when you see a swan, how fucking cool they are. They're a big bird with a long neck, kind of like a giraffe.

And they can turn around and look behind them and kind of look... Like a what? A giraffe. A giraffe. What's a giraffe a giraffe a giraffe horses with long necks it's a giraffe and it's not a horse with a long neck they're way bigger than a giraffe it's a totally different kind of animal so because you like giraffes with the long neck you want it to have a swan neck. We can't talk about this anymore, boy. I think we should get to the bottom of it. Haven't we already?

I don't know, have we? Yes, we have. I still don't understand why you wanted to have a swan neck. I just think it was cool that they can look behind them, look around. They can almost do a 360 with their necks. I know, but when you're saying you wanted a swan neck, did you want your neck to be, like, you know, four or five feet long? Well, just all of a sudden, there's something up here,

and you're like, you can't see it. You're just like, ooh. Boys, we gotta stop talking about swans, please. Okay? No more. It's like they have a slinky neck that can turn right around. A slinky neck? Their neck's not like a slinky.

It can expand and go back. No, it can't. Ricky, they don't have a fucking accordion neck. All right, well, it looks like it when you're super big. Yeah, I forgot about how high we were in Amsterdam. Yeah, we were fucked. You guys always get all giggly. Ricky.

There's a couple times that we have been fucked. It didn't go off very easily. What are you doing? I thought you were lighting firecrackers. No, that's a good idea. Can you not point that at me? I'd rather you point a fucking handgun at me. I could do that too, if you want.

I don't want. Here, get this cozy. It won't even sit level with this thing on there. Is there a napkin or anything around? You gotta wipe that shit off your nose, man. Oh, yeah. You look like a fucking idiot. You should have let him leave it there.

He forgot it was there. No, look. How's it coming? No, it's still there, man. No, it's mostly gone, Ricky. It's gone, yeah. No, just a little bit, but that's good. It'll fall off. It's back on there now.

Right on, boys. Look, there's another one of the cozies. Those are the cozies, man. You can go to charlottepartboysmerch.com and get your shit. Or cozycozyabjulia.com Fuck off, Ricky. What's that website, Ricky? Cozycozyabjulia.com

I don't know what it means. What is this? What does it mean when your brain says things that you didn't mean to say and you don't know what they mean? What is that? That's just how you think, man. That's you. But how does my brain talk before I get it thought out?

That's called thinking, Ricky. So you think and then you realize what you say and that's how you have a thock? No, you think and talk at the same time, man. I don't though all the time. Sometimes I talk first. That's how you have a talk? No, you think and talk at the same time, Ed. I don't, though, all the time. Sometimes I talk first. That's weird. Without thinking. No, Rick, that's impossible.

It's impossible to talk without thinking. Well, I do, though, sometimes. I'll say, like, cozy, cozy, I am Julian. Then I'm like, where did that come from? I didn't think that, did I? I don't know how your brain works, man. Maybe you do. I don't think you're thinking at all most of the time. So, Ricky, how often does it happen where you do something and then you say, oh, fuck, wait a second, where did that come from? I didn't think that, did I? It happens more than you would think.

Ricky, that's not good. You've got to get that checked. See, that time there, you're asking me something, so I'm thinking about it and then I'll say it. But sometimes I'll just blark something right out. We've got to be with him when he's talking to a doctor, explaining his condition. We should get you a CAT scan, Ricky. What's that? Where they x-ray your brain.

With a cat? It's a machine, Ricky. I think it stands for... I don't know what it stands for. What's CAT stand for? I don't know what it stands for. What's cat stand for? I don't know. Cerebral... Cerebral anadermic thighballer. Sounds good to me, bud. We should get you a cerebral anadermic thighballer. If it'll fucking get to the root of the, uh...

What? What is the root of the tree?'s the... The root of the tree. No, I'm good. Here, go over there. I'll do it. Is it gone? It's gone, man. Yeah, it's gone, Ricky.

Just leave it. Feels really nice. Here, would you take this fucking thing? Try it. No, don't get that away from me, man. What do you mean

it feels nice? You're rubbing a bag on your face. I know, but it was a little moist from liquid. I don't know. Right now with this bezel on, it's a nice feeling. Rubbing a moist bag on your face. Hey, Ricky, can you say, I love having moist bags rubbed on my face?

But that might sound like something else. Oh, see, you are thinking. You are thinking. See? See, you were thinking before you said something. Drugs make you smarter. You want me to freak you out, Ricky? How bad?

No, it won't be that bad. It won't make me pass it. You know how you said, you know, sometimes I'm not thinking? Yeah. What if you are thinking? You're making yourself think you're not thinking? Ah, that's what's happening. That's what's happening. It's at a whole different level. What's a fucking big hole you're opening up there?

A big hole I'm opening up? Yeah. Here. That can mean all kinds of different things. See, by you saying I'm not thinking, you're actually thinking. See? About not thinking. That's what I'm saying. Fuck's sake.

Well, now my brain is like, it's like spinning like too fast. It's not spinning at all. I need to slow it down. Stop talking about crazy things. Your brain? It's not spinning. Are we talking about anything else, or is that it? No, we're just, we haven't even started yet, have we? Yeah, we... Ricky, oh my fuck, you're gonna blow us up.

You're not, no, no, no, you're not setting off these. No fucking way. We're inside, Ricky. It's pretty safe in here. It's not, you can't light those off in here. I'm not gonna light a big one or anything. What are these called? High power fucking fireworks.

Not happening. Get out of here. All right. No, I wouldn't do anything that fucking stupid. I guess. Maybe. Well, I think we're almost done, boys. Do you have anything else you want to talk about, Bubz?

Because you haven't been a great team leader today. I want to talk about something. You've got your new little phone, right? What phone? Your phone, your cell phone. That cell phone, you're playing that Pokemon game, aren't you? Jesus, Ricky. Sorry, I was trying to pass it, but it was a bad pass.

You're playing that Pokemon game, aren't you? That's where you've been. I have played it. A lot. I haven't played it that much. When was the last time you worked? Koki, Kooky Man, Kooky Man Go. People jump off the shit and die.

Mm-hmm. What is it? Pokemon, what did you call it? Kooky Man. Kooky you call it? Cookie Man. Cookie Man. Cookie Man Go. We could make our own game, Cookie Man Go. Or Pokemon.

Pokemon? Pokemon. Pokemon Blow. What would that be? I don't know, but it sounds exciting. Pokemon Blow. Maybe all the little Pokemons are doing rails Or blowing you Or maybe doing both

They do a rail off you You're a wiener I'm just saying if you're playing that game A lot of people are getting hurt man You should chill out on it Because your vision is not that great You could easily die My vision is fucking perfectly fine

Not while you're walking your phone walking around, man. Trapping and shit. I am very aware of my surroundings when I'm playing that game. Okay, I'm just saying, man. These people are fucked. And just because I tried to catch a little, a little dog thinking it was a Pokemon,

that doesn't mean anything. You go. Just be careful, man. People are fucked up on that shit. Do you even know what it is, Ricky? What? Pokemon Go? No, I just heard people are jumping off shit and dying.

Head on collisions. People are like quitting their jobs so they can do it 24 hours a day. Is it real? They're fucked. It's a game on your phone where you're looking at it, you know, and as if your camera's there and then a Pokemon will appear on the screen, and you catch them with your little Pokeballs, they're called.

What? I don't understand. Well, if you had the phone right here, you would see over there. If then a Pokemon would appear as if he was over there. How? He's not there. Well, he's on the phone. No, he's not there. Well, he's on the phone. It's a game, but it uses the real world and adds in things to it.

So it makes you see things that aren't real. Yeah. Which will probably start to make you go a little fucking crazy. Great. Just what the world needs. That's a good point, actually, Ricky. But I think if we made one called Wreck-It-All, where you're just running around looking for different types of weed, Yeah.

that would be decent. We could try it, I guess. Yeah, I'll get on it, man. I'll talk to my people. Oh, you're gonna call up the Pokemon people, are ya? Just might. Are we all done guys? Ricky, why do you keep moving that garbage can next to you? Where?

It's probably the same reason you'd be asking why I'm fucking holding a lighter in my hand. Ricky? Give me these fucking things right now. Get these far away from him. Looks like an open pack down there. I don't know what they are. I'll break your fucking fingers off. Why the fuck are you doing this? Fire in the hole!

Jesus Christ. What? Ricky! That would have been a lot cooler if we could have saw the fucking thing. We're inside, man. They're for outdoors. Fuck, Tomas. Ready? God.

Sucked. What if the fire marshal's watching this podcast? Them what? One of us is going to be in trouble. I was standing the furthest away from it. Oh, so I'm going to get in shit because I was closest to it. Fuck, that sucked. I wonder what it did. Hey Ricky, you wanna hear something fucked that I looked up? Yep. There was a guy, I don't know what country he's in, but he... This is something I can't believe you haven't done this.

What is it? He rented a car. Yep. And then he took it and he sold it. Smart. And then the same day he stole it. From the guy he sold it to. From the guy he sold it to. It's a wicked scam, man. And then he took the car back and here's my car that I rented. See, that's fucking

brilliance right there. We can do that a lot. It's pretty smart. You rent it, you have insurance. You could say it got stolen, which it didn't. Then you sell it. Then you steal it back, and you could sell it again, I guess. Or you could just keep it, and you get a free car plus money. There's all kinds of different ways you could do this, man.

That guy is fucking smart. See, I think he's fucked. Myself. Why? Well, because it's not going to go right every time. I mean, he pulled it off, and it does seem pretty... But he could have quit at second base. Just sold the car, but he's like, no.

But then there's another problem, but I think when we get around it, there's also the title. He obviously... What do they have in India? They don't have titles to the car? We'd have to print some off or something, and he'd get on that one. So we wouldn't be able to do it here? Well, we'd just have to have, like, fake titles and shit, right? So it can be done?

Yeah. Good one, Bob. Good idea. Oh, my God, boys, don't do that, please. I was just telling you how fucked it was. I didn't mean I wanted you to do it. You're gonna end up in jail again. I can end up in jail. Oh, yeah.

Forgot about this one, too. I think I blacked out for a second. I think I did, too. What the fuck? What happened? What did we smoke, Ricky? Oh, my God, a lot of stuff. There's a girl that sneezes 8,000 times a day.

Why? She just started sneezing, man. She doesn't do it on purpose, Ricky. There's not even 8,000 seconds in a day, is there? Yes, there is.ing, man. She doesn't do it on purpose, Ricky. There's not even 8,000 seconds in a day, is there? Yes, there is. Yeah, man. There's 60 seconds in one minute. Right.

Times 60 minutes. Right. 60 times 60, what's that? 120. 60 times 60, not? 60 plus 60. Oh, yeah, right. I don't know. It's a lot.

3,600. Okay. So there's 3,600 seconds in one hour, Rick. All right. So she could do it. She could do it. Easily, man. 8,000 times a day, that's a fucking lot of sneezing.

I feel bad for her, because that would be fucking annoying. It would also be annoying to everyone around her. Well, let's continue with that math work. 3600 seconds in one hour. But she does sleep at night. So... She sneezes about ten times a minute. Yeah, she's sneezing at night.

She sneezes 8,000 times in about a 12-hour day. That's fucked. Maybe she's allergic to something. Well, maybe. You never know. She should try to rule it out, whatever it is, because that would drive me fucking nuts. Oh, you know what's fucked?

What? Maybe she's allergic to sneezing. That's another big hole. I opened a hole there for you, didn't I, Ricky? She's allergic to sneezing. There goes the brain spin. Then it's a self-propelling mechanism. I've got brain spins again.

Great. I'm trying to figure it out. Describe this brain spins phenomenon. My brain just starts, it's like all these fucking words and everything just going. Mine was kind of doing the same thing, though, so it's something that we smoke, man. You're getting brain spins? Yeah, you're just trying to think it's not you know what man. Oh that should be better secured than it is I'll work on that Brain spins. I don't I don't start getting brain spins not fun. Let me tell you

So Where were we I don't, man. I'm lost. You guys are big. Oh yeah, did you guys see this fucking, this fucking rapper that shot himself in the mouth? What do you mean? There's a rapper, I forget what his name was. Casper something, Casper, Jimmy Casper? No, what was his name?

Fuck. If I didn't smoke that joint, I'd remember. It was something like that. He's a rapper. Yeah. And he puts a gun right here, goes like this, blows a fucking hole in his cheek. Why?

Because he wanted to have a viral video to make himself a bigger rap star, I believe. So people that shoot themselves by accident, like me, he's making fun of us? Is that what he's doing? No, I don't think he was making fun of you, Ricky. So where did he shot him in the mouth? He shot himself in the fucking cheek. Where'd the bullet go?

Well, it didn't look like it came out. It went right through, for sure. Yeah. But it looked like this cheek stopped it, and then he said he swallowed the bullet. He's like, oh my fuck look like a commode. It went right through for sure. Yeah. But it looked like this cheek stopped it, and then he said he swallowed the bullet. He's like, oh, my fuck, I swallowed the bullet. So he's trying to tell us a cheek, a little thin cheek's going to stop a bullet, lands in his mouth, and he eats it?

You know what happened? It does sound fucked. It's fake. Look, it's not. I don't think it is fake. He had a gun. Like, it did have a blank in it, which, you know, was a bit of paint in there.

And then, come on, it hit the other side of his mouth and he swallowed it? Don't think so, man. That's going right through. You know what the shitty part is? If it is real and he fucked up that bad, that's what people are saying he faked it. A little blood pill in his mouth, he spits it out. No, but I'm telling you, watch it, because... He should have made sure it went through both fucking sides. It looks like it goes right through, but I agree like a bullet should go right through both sides no problem

it's not as if it's a bit strange but if he faked it he's a fucking good and you know what else good on the computer because it looks like it blasts right through and then he's fucking pouring blood and he's spitting blood and blood's all over he rubs it on his face so what he was trying to do is actually working because now we're talking about it on the podcast and people are probably gonna say... Well, there you go. Maybe he wasn't... There's something to it, man. Ricky. What the fuck you doing now, man?

Why do you have a fucking pot lid in your hand? I don't know. I don't even remember getting it. Well, why don't you hand it over then? You should hold it, actually. Just hold it like that. I'm not hold... You ready? You should hold it, actually. Just hold it like that. I'm not holding it. You ready? No, I'm not ready.

Ricky. Put it on. I had to know what it did, boys. It didn't do anything. Fuck. He threw it in the bowl of chips. The chips put the fucking thing out. If this thing goes off, you're fucking... This is fucking lame.

Ricky. I think we need to know, don't we? Chips are bad for... Okay, that's enough of that. That was fucking cool. That's enough of that. That was fucking cool. That's enough of that. All right. Okay, that was all just CGI'd.

That did not actually happen. We should light a big one. No, Ricky. We're not lighting a big one. What a stink. Yeah, because they're still on fire, man. Chips. Ricky?

I'm just going to try to put it out. With a blowtorch? Well, put that fire out with this fire so it smells better. What the fuck are you doing? All right, never mind. You can't put fire out with fire to make it smell better. Well, your fire takes over that fire and burns it out. And then you're just left with a good smell.

Or you just fucking put it out with water and squirt some air freshener around. All right. It's kind of lame, but sure. All right, well, it's been a wonderful year. It's been a good year. It's been a wonderful year. It's been a good year. It has been a wonderful year. I can't believe that one of us didn't get fucking injured very badly this past year. Especially you. Yeah, no kidding.

You took some fucking... It was always pretty safe, wasn't it? No, you were fucking up a lot, man. You were falling all over the place. I didn't fall. Hurting yourself. I don't think. Well, you could have got really hurt with that.

Just wait. Just say that again, Rick. You say, I didn't fall. Well, you could have got really hurt with that. Just wait. Just say that again, Ricky. Say, I didn't fall this past year. I don't remember falling this past year. There. See that? I made it right where they forget me. Ricky, Ricky. Jesus Christ, Ricky.

Fuck! Fuck! Man, he's down. He's down, folks. Did you hurt yourself? Boys, that fucking sucked. Jesus Christ, what the hell? Get out.

Fuck's sakes. Here, give me your hand. What the fuck are you doing? Look, wipe the drool off your face. Here, look. Look at the camera. You were drooling. Fuck, that hurt a lot, boys.

What did you hurt? Jesus Christ. Hand, ass, back, leg, and shoulder. Yeah, that stuff was strong, Ricky. Maybe this thing will wake me up. Is it dangerous, Bubs? Well, it is if you're on this fucking weed, Ricky. If you're what?

If you're on this weed. Give her a try, man. This could be a bad idea. It's hurting. All right, leave the fucking thing down there, Ricky. Okay, Ricky, you had enough. Jesus Christ, Rick. Good job, bubs.

Nice facts, buddy. Tim Robbins' birthday. Oh, Jesus, Ricky. Are you kidding me? Like, was that necessary? Holy fuck, man. I wanted to prove I could fucking do it. I fucked up. Well, I guess that's the end of that fucking podcast.

Turn it off. I think I broke my shoulder. What just happened, Nate? We just went through a time warp, Ricky, because I'm guessing they're going to cut in some clips that just played a minute ago that proved me right. So I did fall. You don't remember?

I should. Did I get hurt? You got hurt pretty bad a couple times. We took you to the hospital. Oh, boys. Come on, I don't know. I think I need a nap. Before the fireworks. What?

Those drugs. Ricky, what were you eating? Your burp smells like fuckin' tuna and relish and gorilla balls. I gotta start drinking more of more. Seafood pizza. That's what it was. There's a nice medley of scallops, shrimps, and a bit of fish. Some lobster.

Basta, just let him go to sleep. Let's just go to sleep, man. Alright, thanks everybody for tuning in for the past 52 weeks. Can't believe we did this 52 times. That's right. Go to trailerpertboysmerch.com. Check that out. And thanks to the nice people at Gibson and Neat Microphones for our decent new mics that we're gonna have working here soon. No arms.

Maybe they make arms. If they make arms, we could use those. working here soon. No arms, which I probably... Maybe they make arms. If they make arms, we could use those. Here you go. Nice one. All right. And... cut.