Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 53 - Sunnyvale Family Feud

Episode Date: August 3, 2016

This podcash is all about competition - the Boys start out with a tough game of “Sunnyvale Family Feud,” followed by a couple rounds of “In My Pants or on the Ground.”   Plus, Ricky shares his views on citizenship, Julian calls Bubbles a “Lottery Dick,” and we catch a glimpse of rare the Palermeeno Shorse! Episode 53 is brought to you by the Official Trailer Park Boys Store, and Neat 'King Bee' microphones!      

How come you get your own fucking dish of chips and I don't get a dish? I got a dish right here. And you've got two kinds of fucking chips. Okay, I can't grab it. Get your fingers out of my fucking chips, man. What? They're all over. All right, ready for this? You've got two kinds of fucking chips. Okay, I can't crack. Get your fingers out of my fucking chips, man. What? What's wrong with them?

All right, ready for this? Oh, hey there. Welcome to the Trailer Park Boys podcast. I'm your host, Bubbles, with my two sidekicks, Ricky and Julian. What kind of intro is that, man? It sounded like something from Hee Haw or something. I love Hee Haw.

I hope it sounded like Hee Haw. Welcome, everybody. Bob's fucking... Hee Haw. Well, fuck me. I hope it sounded like Hee Haw. Welcome, everybody. Bob's fuck. What's going on, fuckers? This is the official Trailer Parade Boys podcast. It's coming at you right now. This is episode 30, no, 53. Wow, you sound like a dickweed.

Yeah, I was, I was. Ooh, look at me. I'm Julian. I can fucking do anything. Fuck off, bubs. Welcome to the podcast. I'm the host, Ricky. What bubs. Welcome to the pot cash. I'm the host, Ricky. What?

See, that was professional, boys. See the tone and the volume. The tone and the volume? What are you talking about? That sucked. Hi, welcome. What are you skittling over there, Ricky? I was just waiting for you, Dick,

so I just started practicing my drawings. Can I see it? No, it's not finished. I'll show you when I'm done. I love your Ricky Draw stuff. If you take a look around, Julian, you might notice there's four brand new fucking boxes behind you there, all housing these very excellent microphones here. But Puffs, okay, why are they in the boxes?

Because I just got them in. How come they're not set up? How come this one isn't set up and you've had that for a week? Because I've got to get the wires and stuff for it. I've got to go to the music store and buy the wires that go into it. And the arms. Because you can't do what Ricky did with that last time. No, I'm going to get proper arms. Arms and stuff, but that's from the Gibson Neat Microphone people, and I got them for us.

Well, you should have been talking to them. Well, thanks for thinking of us, bubs, not like somebody else over there thinks of himself. What the fuck are you talking about? Mr. Selfish himself. Julius. Hey, any kind of deal I do, it's for all three of us. Alright? You name one fucking thing I've got from your deals.

You got t-shirts, didn't you? T-shirts with me on them that I don't make any money from. What about one of those clocks? You got one of those. I didn't get a clock. Yes, you did. I don't have a clock, so where is it? Okay, I forgot to give you a clock, but there is a clock for you. Forgot to give it to you, which is the fucking other meaning of that is

I held it back in case you wouldn't notice and then I'll sell it at the flea market. No, I wouldn't do that. That's what I forgot to give it to you means. Yep, it's bullshit. Self-nish. Self-nish? How much selfish? I'm smarter than everybody here. Nope. Just so we're clear. Bullfucking shit.

Well, I'm second place then for sure. You're second place? If he's the smartest. No, no, no, no. I think that I could be the smartest, but I'm not going to argue with Bubbles. He's pretty smart. But I'm definitely smarter than you could be. Bullfucking shit.

Look, okay, Bubbles, you're good at, you're smart at some things like NASA and space and all that shit. Science. Well, that's it? That's all I'm good at, is it? Well, no, just there's other things that I'm good at, you're smart at some things, like NASA and space and all that shit. Science. Well, that's it? That's all I'm good at, is it? Well, no, just there's other things that I'm smarter at than you are. Like what? Well, when it comes to business, man, being an entrepreneur. Robbing people.

Okay, so maybe robbing people. You got to be smart when you rob somebody. I'm better at robbing people than you are. No, you're reckless, man. Sometimes you got to be reckless to get the better goods. No, sometimes you've got to be smarter. All the times you have to be smarter to get the goods. You two both sound fucked.

Like, I am clearly smarter than both of you, just based on that one conversation. You weren't talking, so you could not be maybe smarter than the both of us. That kind of makes sense. You guys are fucked. Okay, but you know what? So join in there that I'm smarter than him, please. Let's fucking settle this once and for all and see who's smarter.

What are you talking about? Here, look at this. I'll take these. There's your buzzers, boys. Buzzers? There's your buzzers to ring in just like Family Feud. What the fuck you talking about? Let's have a little quiz show, see who's smarter.

Son of a bops, we're not doing that. Why? What are you gonna do? This is stupid. There's your buzzer. First one to crush it. What's it gonna light it up? It's not lighting up anything.

No, you gotta crush it, say, Ricky. Before he crushes it. Yeah, first one to crush the cup, then they, you know, they rang in first and they get to answer first. All right. And I'll keep score and I'll ask the questions. This is like family feud, man.

And we're a big family. Oh, that's adorable. That's adorable. This is stupid. This is like family feud, yes. And I'm Richard Dawson. Here, give me a kiss. Fuck off.

Come on. Bob's fuck off. Give us a kiss. Get the lips away from me, man. Richard Dawson. That guy did kiss a lot, man. How many women do you think he's kissed? Richard Dawson? Oh, fuck.

I'd have to say. Thousands. Tens of thousands. Definitely. He kissed everybody. And I heard he was banging a lot of them, too. No, he wasn't. In the green room.

That's what I heard. Anybody that he kissed on the show, apparently he also banged. Bob, he kissed every woman that appeared on that show. So he banged like the grandmother, the great grandmother, the aunt. It's just what I heard. He didn't bang all of them. I heard that he did. There's no fucking way he banged all of his guests.

I heard he'd go backstage and say, if you want to kiss out front, dirty stuff right now. And he got it going. That's the legend. That's the legend. That's the legend of the feud that I've read. Could be just made up. All right, so we're playing Sunnyvale family feud.

Is that what's going on? Yeah, so I'll say a question. First one to ring in. Are you ready, Ricky? All right, I'm ready. All right, Ricky, don't ring in unless you have a fucking answer. Just don't start fucking smashing things.

Come on, baby. Okay, here. Just wait. This is dumb, man. Okay, you ready? Yep. Wait now. No, okay. I was gonna say we should smoke a joint before we do this. Well, should we?

I'd say we... it'd probably help. Pops. Just wait. He'll be in the zone. I know. He'll be really fucked up in his eye. Ricky, do you want to do this now, or do you want to smoke something? What would make me smarter? Well, you tell me. Definitely smoke one.

Yeah, probably a joint. Okay. All right. Okay, you guys smoke that. All right, so what else? Should we talk about some other stuff? We're going to write down some questions. Give me a mark. Here's a black one.

Today's famous birthday is Bub's. You might be excited to know one of them. Okay. Neil Armstrong. Holy fuck, really? And who was your number one go-to when you were playing with yourself when you were younger. Oh, man. It's her birthday, too. At least it's a her.

Your number one Jackoff material. I don't have a number one. It was your go-to girl back in junior high. Cheryl Diggs. Oh, I forgot about her. No, Lonnie Anderson. Oh, yeah, Lonnie Anderson. WKRP and Hotots and Addy.

You fucking, you loved her, man. Oh, and you didn't? Well, I wouldn't say she's my number one go-to. I mean, you loved, I know you loved Hasselhoff and Swayze. Well, fuck this shit. The most. What are you talking about? Me and Ricky both had Cheryl Teagues and Lonnie Anderson posters.

You had Swayze. No, I, see, this is a fucking lie. Hasselhoff. No. Tom Selleck. No, I didn't. Tom Selleck. Tom Selleck. Tom Selleck. And Knight Rider. No, I... See, this is a fucking lie. Hasselhoff. No. Tom Selleck. No, I didn't. Tom Selleck. Tom Selleck.

And Knight Rider. No, there's no fuck... You had Hasselhoff on Baywatch and Hasselhoff Knight Rider. Bullshit. I had Farrah Fawcett, the one in the red bathing suit, and she was beaming. Yeah, I had that one too. Bullshit. With the eraser nipples?

Yes. That was a good one. That's the only poster I had on my fucking wall. I didn't have Hasselhoff and Swayze in them. Fuck off. Okay. Okay, Julian. Don't be saying it like that as if you're lying.

You had a lock on your bedroom door, but it wasn't always locked. We saw what posters you had up. What the fuck are you talking about? No, man. You guys are fucked. Everybody in the park knows. I was looking up some stuff, and there was this dude that hid 7.2 grams of cocaine in his foreskin.

What? It was pretty smart. Made me want one. A what? A foreskin? Both. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, a foreskin.

It's a great place to hide things. Jesus. How did, what did he have it in, Ricky? What do you mean? Well, he couldn't just sprinkle it in there and then seal her up. No, no, it was in a baggie. It was in a baggie. They arrested him. He was naked, running around, all fucking banged up.

Then they noticed this little baggie peeking out of his little... So he was using it as a wallet, a deck wallet. His little penis tent. He had a deck wallet. You could keep your bank cards in there. A bank card? Jesus, Bubbs, I don't know what you're dealing with down there. I would be fitting in bank cards.

Well, I'm not saying you wouldn't be able to tell it was in there. You'd see the shape of it. I don't even know. Why would you do that? I wouldn't. I'm just saying, maybe this guy would. Why would you also hide cocaine in there? No idea, man. I think it's great.

If you're naked, where else are you going to hide it? Remember the time you tried to smoke a joint with your wiener? No. Did it work? No. It didn't work. I was going to say, we could try it again right now. You remember when he did that? No, I don't remember. He was trying to say, we could try it again right now. No.

Do you remember when he did that? No, I don't remember. He was trying to smoke a joint with his wiener. And he passed out and it burned right down. He had it in the piss hole. Yes. Oh, man. I did not hear that.

I remember Corey and Trevor talking about how they used to blow weed smoke up each other's... No, they didn't. Yeah. They said it made them more fucked up faster. Up their ass? That's what they cleaned. Quiet, Trevor. Never get that. That I know of. You're thinking of Stevie Nicks. She used to get blown in her ass or something, didn't she?

There was a rumor. There was a rumor. Uh, okay. What else do you got? Maybe we shouldn't have did that, because now I don't feel like I'm quite as smart as I was before. No, you just... Okay, now it's perfect then.

Perfect timing. Perfect timing, okay. Question number one. I'm just as smart, but I'm not going to be as quick on the buzzer. Well, I think it'll work, Ricky. I'll be able to tell. I'll be able to tell. I'll be able to tell. All right.

I'll get a good... Hand flat on the table there, dickface. Yes, hands flat on the table. It's on the table. Top ten answers are on the board. Here's the question. Name a part of your body that's impossible to lick. Ricky was in first.

Fuck. I can't crush them like he can. No, you hit it, though. I heard it. It was a cock, cock. Now I forget the question. Name a part of your body that it's impossible to lick. Your ass.

No, it is not impossible. Really? Ricky, a contortionist can do that. Fuck. But there is a part of your body that's impossible to lick. Your tongue. What? No, you can lick your tongue.

Fuck, okay. Isn't it my turn? Oh, yeah, I forgot. Yeah, you only get one try, Ricky, and then... More goes to Julian. Julian, for the steal. The back of your head. Well, you fucked me up now. There's no fucking way you can do it.

I don't care how long your tongue is, you're not licking back there. Okay, I don't know how to score this one. The actual answer was your elbow. I've done that. I had to break it, but I did it. Oh, man. Yeah. It's not impossible.

See? That's fucked. I totally won that. How is the answer your elbow? Because that's right. You can't. Nobody can let break there. How can you let your elbow?

You have to have one over. Some people can. Gene Simmons could. Lucky bastard. Why would you want to lick your own ass, Rick? Why? Lick his own ass. Why would you do that?

No, they said eyeballs. Yeah. Oh, eyeballs. I thought you were talking about your ass. No, Gene Simmons, he used to clean his eyes during the shows. No, he didn't. If you watch old footage. No, there's no fucking way.

If you watch old footage, he's there. I want to rock and roll all night. He did not fucking clean his eyeballs. He would clean his eyes because there was so much smoke and pyro and stuff. All right. Disposions, he used to. So zero to zero. You know what?

I got to make it even, though, because he's got bigger arms to crush this thing. It's all about just hitting it first, man. Yeah, it's more about hitting it first, man. Yeah, it's more about hitting it first, Ricky. Alright, I'm ready. See? This is when things get fucked up. That's not smart, by the way, okay? No, Ricky, if the blades fall off, guess who gets in the fucking carotid? Well, I don't know. It's like winning the lottery.

Yeah. Bubbles gets the fucking blade and it's carotid. That's not like winning the lottery. Yo, Bubbles gets the fucking blade and it's carotid. That's not like winning the lottery. All right, fuck. I guess I'll have to use my hand. I'll have to pretend I'm as strong as Julian, though. What? You fuck off. Just hit the fucking cup.

Okay. How about this one? What is a group of 12 or more cows called? Julian was in first, just by a hair. Heard. Wrong. Ricky, for the steal. I'm not good at these.

A fodder? Or is it something fucked like that? It starts with an F, Ricky. Frenzy? No. 12 or more cows are coming at you. Is it something fucked like that? It starts with an F, Ricky. Frenzy? No. Twelve or more cows are coming at you. What do you say? Oh, there's a... Flack.

Flack of cows. It's Flink! A Flink? Fuck, fuck, fuck! Ricky. It's a Flink. You almost had it. So it's not a fodder.

Or a flack. But flack was close. A flank? I've never heard of a flank of cows. Neither did I, but I looked it up. All right, 0-0. I'm still smarter than Julian. It's really hard to tell who's ringing in first, by the way.

You know what I'll do next time? I'll get some buzzers wired up. Real family feud buzzers. We're never playing this again. What about a real board where the answers would really pop up? That'd be cool. I'll do next time. I'll get some buzzers wired up. Real family feud buzzers. We're never playing this again. What about a real board where the answers would really pop up? That'd be cool. I'll try to build one. You're into a lot of stuff then. All right.

No, I want to do more of these. Okay, here's one more. Are we ready? For the win. It's one nothing. You got an answer that wasn't technically right. It was totally right, man. I have to do research on that before I can give you that. I think somebody has licked the back of their head.

There's no fucking way, man. There's no way. Mama could. Implying she's got a super long tongue. I don't know, Bob boss, I can hear you. Are you done? Are we done? Just get on with this.

I thought last one, tie breaker. Okay, here's the tie breaker. What normal bodily function can cause you to break a rib? Oh, Ricky's in first with a vengeance. Coffee. What can cause you to break a rib? Oh, Ricky's in first with a vengeance. Coughing. Close, Ricky. Shit! What normal bodily function can cause you to crack a rib?

Puking. Are you guys fine? Okay, I know what it is. What? And it goes back to Ricky for the steal. Shitting. Shitting? I think that would, at that point, be trying to shit, Ricky, but no, that's not the... I don't think if you were actually shitting, your rib would just pop.

Constellation. Or whatever it's called. I know what it is. When you can't shit. What did you say? Coughing? Ah, see, he's going to get it. Sneezing.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was going to say sneezing, so I win. No, that's not how it works. I knew it was one of them. I said it. I'm smarter to nothing. Wait now, I want to hear this theory. You think you should win because you were going to say that, but you didn't?

Yeah, because I was like, okay, coughing or sneezing? I'm going to go with coughing. Because I went with coughing, then he knew that I was thinking sneezing. So I put the sneezing thing in his head. So really, it was me that made him win. No, no, no, no. He has a little bit of a battle point. No, he does.

Because you did say, what did he say, coughing? And that made you go, what's similar to coughing? No, I knew it was something. I was just, I knew, I thought it was, I knew it was like, or hiccuping or whatever the fuck I said. I was sneezing. Fuck off. I won't do nothing.

I'm smarter than you. I'm pretty sure my grade eight math teacher said that he did break a rib while he was trying to use the bathroom. But maybe it was something else. Which teacher? Was it Mr. McDonald? I don't know. I never heard of Mr. McDonald. He went to the bathroom and came back with a broken rib.

He broke a rib? Yeah. Because maybe he was constellated or... Maybe he slipped in the tub. Maybe he was wasted, man. And fell. He did drink a lot at lunchtime. That guy was shit-faced all the time.

What, he walked in the class and said, Oh, my God, class, I just broke a rib trying to have a shit. No, he didn't even come back. The fucking principals came in and said, Yeah, he's not coming back. He went to the bathroom and broke a rib. But, well, he could have slipped, Ricky. Why do you assume he was trying to have a boot and broke his ribs?

That's what people were just guessing at what caused it. That made the most sense. Because, you know, sometimes when you can't and you're, like, straining and things start popping. See, that's how fucked up rumors start, man. Like that, I think he must have... Just wait, Ricky. It's fucked. Just one second, Ricky. When you're straining to have poop, what things start popping on you?

Sometimes, I don't know, like your ears. All right. Anything else? Well, you tear muscles sometimes. Tear muscles? What muscles do you tear? Legs. Ricky, what are you going through in there, man?

Jesus Christ. You tore your leg muscles trying to move? Yeah, and whatever these ones are back here. Your back muscles? I guess. How did you tear your leg muscles? Where were your feet? I also dislocated my shoulder one time. What?

Because I was like doing this and I pulled it right out. What were you doing this? Like doing this. Just straining it. Ricky. Just doing whatever you could. Yeah. You need to change your diet or something, man.

No, I have since. Is it helping you out? What were you eating back then, Ricky, that was causing you to do that? Just terrible things. Junk. What were you eating back then, Ricky, that was causing you to do that? Just terrible things. Junk. But when you tore

your leg muscles, I'm just curious. When you tore your leg muscles, where were your feet planted? That was when I actually wasn't on a toilet. I was hovering in the woods

on a fishing trip. I tore a lot of muscles. It sucked. You should not be taking a dump outside, man. You've got to be on a toilet. If you're breaking, like, bones and, you know, fucking up of muscles. It sucked. You should not be taking a dump outside, man. You've got to be in the toilet. If you're breaking bones and fucking up your muscles...

Outside in the woods or do it in my pants. It was coming out. But then when I tried to get the rest of it out, there was some issues. Anyway, it's history. Okay, Ricky, so what situation could you be in where it's either coming out or in my pants?

What situations would make you say, no, it's going in my pants? Is there any? If you're at a concert, I guess, and it's in the middle of the encore. I've heard of people doing that oh fuck so if you were at a concert and you didn't want to leave because the encore was happening

you'd just shit yourself I'm just saying it would be an option don't go to a concert with Ricky, okay? What other situations would make you say, okay, I'll give you some situations and you tell me. Game seven, breakaway. Pants are on the ground.

Going down the ice on a breakaway, game seven. Let's play a new game called, in my pants or on the ground? I'm going to give you a scenario, Ricky, and you tell me. All right. If you had to poop and there was no stopping it, would you go on the ground or in your pants? At... At, uh, Trinity's Christmas concert.

What was it? Ground? Or pants? In your pants or on the ground. Like, it came on quick and you can't make it to the bathroom. How old would she be? Christmas concert. She's five, Ricky, at the time. Yeah, you don't want to miss that. In your pants. Okay.

Once they got a couple under their belt, you know, like I saw the last two, so I'm gonna go ground on that at that point. Okay, um, you've been waiting in line at the bank for, fuck, about three hours to get to the teller. You get to the teller, got a poop, and it's coming out. What do you do? And I'm really pissed off? Yes, you're mad because they're putting you into overdraft. Ground. And I'm gonna say that was your fucking fault. Clean it up. Eat shit right in the bank, right on the floor.

You'd shit in the bank, would you? If someone made me fucking wait for three hours and then you know, it's all coming to a head. Yeah. It's payback. Okay. That was was great game. I love that game.

I found some other shit about this Ronnie. This guy's name is Ronnie Music. Great handle. Oh that guy. That might be Don Music's brother. One fucking three million bucks a lottery. Use it to buy crystal meth to sell to make more money. And he got fucking caught. How much did he make on the lottery? Three million. Three million. So he bought three million dollars worth of meth?

I don't know if he bought all of it on meth, but a lot of it. He's like, oh, fuck, I got three million dollars, and I can turn that into ten. So you know what? I think that was kind of a good idea. He shouldn't have gotten into the meth, but say if he bought like three million in weed or cash. Yeah, that may have been smarter like three million in weed or cash. That would have been way smarter. Boys, why don't you invest it in something that's not illegal?

It's almost not illegal. It's gotta be illegal, man. Oh, do you mean invest in one of those weed companies? No, I'm talking like street weed. Keep selling it from the streets. Why are you gonna get $3 million worth of weed? I'm just saying you don't gotta invest all of it like at once. You can invest that, you know, a bit in weed, a bit in hash. I like your thinking. Get some booze.

Yeah. Let's do it. Just kind of sit on it for a while. How about a mutual fund? Oh, no, that's a paper trail then, okay? You're gonna be paying taxes on that shit, fuck taxes. Taxes will fuck you. It would be a mutual fund. Like it would be all of our money.

Mutually. Not if I won the lottery, it wouldn't. I'd give you an allowance, Ricky, but... How much? I'd give you... A hundred grand a week. A hundred grand a week, Ricky? That'd be awesome.

That's a lot. I would try to save some of it. How much did I win in the lottery? There's the question. Three million bucks. Yeah. Three million? You're not getting a hundred grand a week, Ricky.

Twenty-five grand. I'll be out of money in fucking no time. Twenty-five grand each a week would be a good number. How about twenty-five grand each a month? That's still, you're still making a lot of money. It'd take too long to spend it that way. You're still making six hundred grand a year. Yes take too long to spend at that house. You're still making 600 grand a year. Yes.

Aren't you? 25 grand a month? Yeah. No, man. You're making 50 grand every two months. Yeah. And there's 12 months. So that's how much?

You're making a lot. All right. That's too much. Are you still buying lottery tickets? This is all on film, right? You're going to give us 25 grand a month if you win. No, I'm not. I just said I'm not.

How many lottery tickets do you buy a week? Seriously. I buy a lot. How much? 20 bucks. Bullshit. That's all. 20 bucks. Bullshit. That's all? 20 bucks a week.

Yeah. There's nothing more annoying than you gotta get gassed, you know, dealing with a fucking cop buying as many tickets as you do. Because you were in there for a while. Well, I just have to scratch them while I'm there. See, that pisses people off, man. Yeah. Well, I mean, I step aside. I don't hold the fucking line up while I scratch off 20 tickets.

No, you're a lottery dick. Those people drive me fucking nuts. I'm not a lottery dick. You are a lottery dick, man. You get them to check your tickets. Hey, can you check these? It's like, why don't you fucking check them yourself instead of holding those other people up that don't give a fuck about those lottery tickets, whether you won or not. That's right. Do you get them to check your tickets or no? You check your own? I check my own but I get them to put them under the little thing to

double check. Because you're a lottery dick. I'm not a lottery dick. Lottery fucking dick man. I check it in the newspaper. Annoying. But then when I go in I get them to double check with the scanner and I have to hand them all the tickets obviously. And it takes you a while to look at it and then you think the guy's lying, and you're there for ten minutes. Well, I'm a customer, too. I get some time at the gate. I get some time.

Hey, Bobbs, do you like tits? Naked tits? No comment. There's this thing I found. It's called Tramps Against Trump. I know you don't really like Trump that much. These chicks will send you pictures of their naked tits if you vote against Trump. Oh, my God.

It's a good little deal for you. We don't get to vote, Ricky. Why not? We're in Canada. Canada, that's it. We should still go down and vote and make a fucking difference, because that's fucked down there, isn't it? Yeah, but you know how voting works, Ricky, ass. We should still go down and vote and make a fucking difference, because that's fucked down there, isn't it? Yeah, but you know how voting works, Ricky, don't you? You've got to be a citizen of the country.

You can't just go vote in the U.S. But as soon as you cross over, aren't you one of those things you talked about? No, Ricky, you've got to live there. You've got to be a permanent resident before you can vote. Well, once you're there, you're living there. Sort of. I mean, what are you going to do, not sleep there? Once you sleep somewhere before you can vote. Well, once you're there, you're living there. Sort of. I mean, what are you going to do, not sleep there?

Once you sleep somewhere, you live there. That's how it works. Okay. What if somebody went down for an hour to the outlets in Freeport, Maine? They're just going for the day. No, that wouldn't count. They wouldn't be allowed to vote. But you should.

As long as you spend the night in America. If you spend a night and sleep and have a good sleep in the country, you live there. You should be allowed to vote. So you go somewhere else, you are living there at that time. But imagine if that was true, then Donald Trump would just hire, you know, 10 million Mexican people to come over. No, he doesn't like the Mexicans. He said he's building a wall. Well, he'd hire whatever he does like.

And he'd just bring in, you know, pay 20 or 30 million people to come in and vote. Maybe he's doing that. That's why we need to go down and vote the other way. No, I'm saying it's not possible, Ricky. Oh my God. Alright, well, anyway, if you want to see some beautiful, naked boobs, find a way to vote for Trump. Or not Trump. Against Trump. I don't care about politics anymore.

Fuck politics. Politics can suck it. All right. Well, what do you got there, Mr. Fucking Fun Times? This is a fucked up. Do you got any more of that stuff we want to smoke before we end this or what? Because we're not fucked enough? Well, this is a fucked...

It's kind of a sad story. There's this 10-year-old Indian boy, right? He's addicted to dog milk. Oh, my God. So he's been on... He goes around grabbing, like, these dogs and just starts... Picks them up and starts sucking on their tits.

And he's addicted to it. It's pretty fucked. There's those little pictures of the dog on his back. And how old's the person? He's 10 now, but he's addicted to it. It's pretty fucked. They show us a little picture of this dog on his back. And how old's the person? He's 10 now, but he's been doing it since the age of two. They're just random. All the dogs know him. He'll just grab an old street dog and suck milk out of it.

That's what he does. Oh, my God. There's a video of him doing it. The dog's on the back, and he's sucking on the dog. I thought I heard everything. So dog tits make milk all the time? Are these, are these, does he just pick up dogs that just had fucking tits? He just knows which ones to grab, man, okay? He knows all the dogs. The dogs are coming from all over the place. So he's not grabbing male dogs? No, he's not sucking on the wrong thing,

boss. No, I don't mean, But male dogs have nipples, you know. Do they have milk on their nipples? No. Oh. But I'm just saying, does he grab male dogs and do it to them? Well, he's probably made that mistake a few times and nothing came out, so he moves on. Doesn't a female dog have like eight or ten nipples? That's, yeah, something like that.

See, that could have been one of my questions. How many nipples does a female dog have? No idea. Don't care. I do. So what's the, what's going to happen with this now? Well. Is there any more information to convey?

Okay, he had to go to the hospital because one of the dogs attacked him. He went down to suck on the dip and the thing fucking bit him. So he just got a rabies shot. He's fine. But the parents are not letting him go to school anymore. If he needs to go outside, there's got to be someone around because he's addicted to sucking on dog tits. Don't knock it till you try it, I guess. Maybe it's like fucking heroin.

It's probably, I mean, the guy, milk is good for you. So he's getting, you know, all the minerals. Dog milk. Vitamins and shit. Depends what the dogs are eating. Well, it depends if they have rabies. That's the biggest problem, right? Dog milk.

They could be drinking piss and... Piss gets into their... Tit milk. Well, I'd say they're not that clean, man. They're just like, you know... No, those dogs are laying on the ground all day in filth. Yes. Just in absolute filth.

And then he's cleaning up their nipples with his lips. That's right. I mean, look at the picture of this guy. He's a pretty happy-looking kid. He's got his hand on the dog's head. Just finished having a little meal. Yeah, because the dog's probably doing something in return. Can we talk about something that's not so fucked?

Yes, Ricky, you peck it. I don't have anything left, I don't think. What was the picture you drew? Did you draw a picture earlier? No. What the fuck is that? No, no, no, no. Give me it.

It's just something I was... No, man. Now that I'm high, you can't. Give me it. It's just something I was... No, man. Now that I'm high, you can't show that to anybody. What the fuck does it say? It's a, oh my God, he created a new animal. It's called a Shorse. It's a shark horse. Palermino Shorse.

What the fuck? I thought it would be cool. Look at its head. It's got a shark head. Well, I was watching those Sharknado things and I was thinking, fuck, what if a shark could live on land? And it fucked a horse. And that was Bornt. And it's got a big wang too. You would not want to fuck with that thing.

No! It'd be fast and it would be fucking deadly. Jesus, Ricky. Oh my god, Ricky. My God, Ricky. Fuck Sharknado. The attack of the Shorses. Shorses. Could you call it a...

No, not a Herx. I don't know what you fucking call it. A Herx or a Shorse. I think Shorse. Let's do it. It's a fuck the... Let's write the movie, boys. Sell it to Tarantulino.

Terrence... Terrence Tarantulino. Tarantulino? Quentin Tarantulino. Quentin Tarantulino. Tantalino? He called him Terrence Tantalino. Or Tarantulino.

Terrence Tarantulino. Tarantino, man. Yes. Quentin Tarantino. He's gonna do the attack of the Shores. He might. He could probably make that into a decent movie. Alright. Let's get on it, boys, and start writing it.

What, Shores? I don't give a fuck. Whatever you guys want to write. Mm-hmm. I don't think we should have lit that back up. No? No, it fucked me. Like, why was...

Why was it so much stronger, the last bit? That's where all the good stuff gets up at the end there. Great. All right. All right, so I guess we're going to wrap it up, aren't we? Yeah, let's wrap it up. Oh, this podcast is sponsored by TrailerPartBoysMerch.com. Oh, and these papers that we used in the show.

And Gibson and Neat Microphones. That's just becoming like a real thing all of a sudden. Kind of.