Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 54 - Supercock

Episode Date: August 10, 2016

Unsatisfied with the results of last week’s game of Sunnyvale Family Feud, the Boys are back at it with another round, and this time they are armed with buzzers and fart pianos! They also discuss professional joint rollers, Superman, and his unit of steel.    Plus: Ricky gets learnt!  Episode 54 is brought to you by the Official Trailer Park Boys Store, and Neat 'King Bee' microphones!      

Okay, so I guess I just fucking do everything again, do I? Might as well, because I am running the show. You know what, Bubz? One of those days, I just don't fucking feel like being here or doing this. Look, why do we got to do this on Fridays, man? Fridays, we should have Fridays off. Because when you commit to do something, you got to stick with it. Yeah, but every fucking Friday, man.

Perseverance. What does that mean? It means sticking with something you say you're going to do. And I said we're going to do 10,000 of these things. Are we almost there? 10,000? We're on number 54. All right, so how many years is that?

I don't know. 10,000? Are you fucking kidding me? That's a lot. I was thinking it was one a day, but it's one a week. Well, I hope you got some fucking fun shit to talk about. I got some fun shit right here. Look at this. I don't give a fuck today. Guess what these are? Snakes.

No, Ricky. They're the cables for the microphones. Look at that. They look like scary snakes. B-line. Get it? It's a B-line for the B mic. It's fucking brilliant, man.

See, I say I'm going to deliver, and I fucking deliver. Now I just still haven't got the arms. Okay, yeah, that's the big problem. Where the fuck are the arms? I'm gonna get some arms. So without the arms, they're useless to us. There's a company I'm looking at that make really nice ones and I'm trying to negotiate something. Wait, wait, wait, wait, Ricky.

Sorry, bubs. Looks like one of those deadly little fuckers, though, doesn't it? No, it looks like a fucking crazy person shaking a fucking microphone cable in my face. Sorry, bubs. Looks like one of those deadly little fuckers, though, doesn't it? No, it looks like a fucking crazy person shaking a fucking microphone cable in my face. That's what it looks like. 20-footers, eh? Ah, so you did get three of them. Look who's not... Oh, you got four of them.

I got four of them because I got four microphones, Ricky. One cord per microphone. Right on. From the people at Gibson and Neat Microphones. Somebody that's not like Julian and only thinking about himself. That's right, I got one for... Go fuck yourself. Two for me and two for Ricky.

Dude, do you see me fucking making all kinds of money and shit? No, everything I get, you guys get as well. Can we start this podcast, number 54? All right, what's going on, fuckers? This is the official Trailer Park Boys podcast. Coming at you, this is 54, like you said. And I don't feel like being here. April 12th.

So that's what you're going to tell people, right? Well, it's nice outside. We should be outside somewhere getting drunk or something, man. It's Friday. What did you say it was? April 12th. Ricky, it's August. Oh, yeah.

Well, they both start with A. It's A12. Yeah, but there's... It's a... A12, which also works in bingo. No, that's B12, isn with A. It's A12. Yeah but there's... A12 which also works in bingo. No that's B12 isn't it? Fucker.

No that's a vitamin Ricky, B12. That's the shot you get in your arse with the needle. Nice. B12. I get my B12. Yeah we should be drinking outside. Instead of drinking in here. Why didn't we do the podcast outside, man? Why do you gotta argue and call me names and stuff? Nobody...

I didn't call you anything. You know what we should do? I was reading about these fucking lunatics in, I think it was Philadelphia. They ran in one of those big dumpster containers, covered the inside with tarps and some other shit, used a fire hydrant, filled the fucking thing up. Instant swimming pool. We could do that. Have all the fucking kids and grandkids over. Big fucking pool party tonight.

In an old shipping container. Yeah. A dumpster. So you're gonna be drinking, like, swimming around in dumpster water. No, no, you'd pressure wash it out first, probably, with some soap and... But you get in a dumpster.

Yeah. It's a huge fucking pool. Deep. It's not that deep, Ricky. It's a good idea. These people got in fucking trouble, though, because they used a fire hydrant. The city's like, oh, fuck, what if there's a fire? Might fuck up our water pressure.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. A fire hydrant has endless fucking water. That's why it's a fire hydrant, in case the fire's big. It doesn't have endless water, Ricky. Where do you think the water from a fire hydrant comes from? They've got tapped into every bit of water in the world from fire hydrants and shit. They're all linked.

All over the world? Yeah. So you never have trouble when you're trying to put out a fire. Well, think about it. If it wasn't, they ran out of water. That'd be fucked. Yeah, well, we almost got it out, but fuck. So you think all fire hydrants in the world are linked together

into the source of all the water on the planet? Just like telephone cables are. What's the difference? Like pipes right across the ocean and shit. Just pumping water. Well, I guess they must have them under the ocean. I don't know, because then the salt would get into them and rust them and shit.

Well, I guess they must have them under the ocean. I don't know, because then the salt would get into them and rust them and shit. So you think they ran a big pipe under the ocean to pump water through the ocean? Through the telephone lines. Or they, you know, they do have that technology in place. Well, that's not the way it works, Ricky. That's another thing they should do. Why don't they fucking make all the fire hydrants linked to an ocean?

Everyone's complaining about the oceans getting too deep now and water levels going up. If they put out all the fucking fires with ocean water, it would bring the water levels back down and would save global heating. Who's complaining that the oceans are getting too high? Oh, all the fucking people going, oh, fuck. We fucked the planet and now it's getting heated up everywhere and things are melting and water's coming up. Put out all the forest fires with it, oceans back down, back to normal.

Really? Well, that's a good theory, actually. Ricky? Maybe the salt would fuck things up, though. I don't know. Here, boys. Salt water still puts up fire, doesn't it? Or does it help the fire grow?

We'd have to test that out first. Salt water puts up fires. It also goes nice on the salad. Salt water or fire? Salt. Oh. Well, I'm glad you told us all this shit, Ricky. It's fucking very interesting, bud.

What do you got to talk about there? Is it fascination that doesn't know anything? I've got a little story here. Okay, I bought a bar over in England somewhere. All right? I don't know if this is a good idea or not. This guy is disabling all cell phones when they walk into the bar, so there's no cell phones.

He's doing it so people talk to you more. But, maybe that's a good idea. On the other hand, I think it's going to make things worse. People are going to get in more fights because of it. How the fuck does he do it? He has a scrambling machine? What is it, a Faraday gate or something? This big metal gate that blocks all the reception

and shit. Oh, yes. One of those things, you know what I'm talking about. Signal jammer. Yeah. You're not allowed them, but because this guy built it in some way that you can do it. But, okay, you guys remember going back, you know, way back, like 20 years ago, going to the bars? We didn't have phones, and what happened?

We always got into fights in the bars. People thought of a shit ton more back then. Right. It was better. It's because of cell phones. Now it's fucking... You fuck with someone, they'll shoot you or stab you. Back then it was a good old fist fight, man. It was awesome.

Now it's just like, I'm on my cell phone. Are you fucking kidding me? If someone gives them a hard time, they'll just take out a gun or a knife and... So, I think this is a bad idea. It's not like you guys aren't quick to pull a gun. Yeah, but now, you know, people are more interested in their phone and stuff. We don't usually shoot people.

Usually, we just have guns for scaring people. That's not something we're going to go around shooting people, man. No, I'm just saying. You make it sound like, you know, crazy people pulling guns. I've seen you pull fucking guns how many times, Ricky? A hundred? Two hundred? Fuck, not that much, really.

Rick, you pulled your gun out to fucking change the channel on the TV. Yeah, but, you know, you do that just and it gets done, right? So you pull a gun out, shit happens. You don't have to shoot them. I'm just saying, back then when there was no cell phones, people were fighting more in bars. Not like today, so. That's really something. Yeah, that's a great story about the cell phone. I wonder if more in bars. I like today, so. That's really something.

Yeah, that's a great story about the cell phone. I wonder if the jammer jams your brain, too. You could just work on a phone. Can you still think in there, I wonder? Or is it all the same person walking in if they could do that, Rick? What happened? Things would not change for you if you walked into a brain jammer. Brain jam device.

You'd be the same person are you being nice or being mean right now i'm just trying to make a point man what no it's all real it's just serious shit being mean he's fucking more dumb like fuck i am oh you want to figure out who's smarter again because remember told you don't get into this again. No, look at this. Remember last week I had the solo cups? I was going to wire up some buzzers, but I got sidetracked getting the B lines. But I did get these. So here's a buzzer. Is the buzzer long enough, though?

And then this one, Ricky, look. It's not a buzzer. Is the buzzer long enough, though? Like, you just need a... And then this one, Ricky, look. It's not a buzzer. It's a fucking fart piano. So you just buzz in on the fart piano, and you... Which key do I press? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

And I brought some... I brought some questions. Because you guys, we have yet to determine who's smarter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. And I brought some questions. Because you guys, we have yet to determine who's smarter. Didn't we? I thought I won that, didn't I? Ricky, don't fuck with that. No, I agree.

I was just looking at... I like Velcro. I like the way it sounds. Isn't that his, bubs? Like, he's allowed to do whatever the fuck he wants with his mic cable, isn't he? Well... It is his, isn't it? Or are all four yours?

No, two are mine and two are Ricky's. I just don't want him to break it because he doesn't know how to. No, here, Ricky. You play with it, man. You do what you want. It's yours. Don't fucking take shit off of him. All right.

Okay, are we ready? Are we all down and we all set? Are we all down and we all ready? All right, let's get this going. Okay, you ready on your buzzer? Ricky ready on your buzzer? Yep. What are you doing?

I was making a super piece of Velcro, but it didn't work. All right, let's do this. Okay, here we go. Here we go, smart guys. All right. Are we ready? The question is... Sorry, I was just testing. Fuck it.

Fuck it. Fuck it. Alright. Could it be more annoying? Could be. Okay. Name two animals that can't sweat. Fuck it.

I know them. He was in. Julian was in. My thing, my fart didn't fart. Oh man, I... Two animals? Yeah. Or like a, does a camel sweat? Wrong! Over to Richard. Lizard.

There's two, right? Lizard? But you got one of them wrong, so it doesn't matter. Nah. You got both of them wrong, so it doesn't matter. You got both of them wrong, actually. I'm going to have to go with a shark and a... Shark. Frog. Nope, neither one of you's got it.

So you're telling me a shark sweats. How would they know? It's in the water. Mmm. Yeah, Buffs. I'm just going by what I read. I guarantee you a shark does not sweat. On the backside. I believe it does. I believe it has sweat glands.

Bullshit. Cool it down. Uh, rec- rec- uh, crocodile. Whose turn is it? A crocodile? Yes. You can't sweat through scales. Is that it? No, it's not.

Well, let us keep guessing this. All right. This is stupid, man. What happens? Okay, so they don't have any like... Do cats sweat? You have cats. Do they sweat?

Cats sweat. Yes, they sweat. Fuck's sakes. Of course a cat sweats, man. What about a snake? Snake sweats. Wow, fucking shit. I gotta see that. That's a cat sweat, man. What about a snake? Snake sweats. Wow, fucking shit.

I gotta see that. What, a sweaty snake? Yeah. Reach under the table, I'll show you one. Oh yeah. Reach under the table, man. No, I'm not reaching anywhere down under the table right now.

Just, I don't know why you'd want to see that.cky have you ever had duck sausage? I don't know. duck under the table have a bite. Oh you're full of fucking jokes today bubbler. All right you know what I can't take it. A B. No B sweats. Fuck. Okay, what is it? I don't know. I wrote down G, P, and I... It's a guinea pig. Bullshit. Guinea pig. Can't sweat? They sweat. I fucking put one on the barbecue.

What? Now this is juices coming out because he's being fucking cooked to death. No, I told you about that. I didn't know if it tasted like bacon. Yeah. So they... You cooked a know if it tasted like bacon. Yeah. You cooked a guinea pig and ate it? Yeah. To see what it would taste like? Well, if it was a guinea pig, you would think it would taste like a pig, but it does not. It's gross, actually.

It's kind of like a really gamey chicken or something, I guess. Or a pheasant. A gamey chicken. A gamey pheasant. So when you had him on there, did you pull his skin off or did you cook him with his fur on? Oh, no, I deferred him. But he, uh, I think it was sweat.

No, Ricky, you were cooking him. Oh, it could have been grease bubbling out of him. Yeah, man. It's the flesh and shit cooking up. It's disgusting. Oh, it could have been grease bubbling out of it. Yeah, man. It's the flesh and shit cooking up. It's disgusting. Oh, my God. So a guinea pig was one. What's the other one?

I think it's a rabbit. A rabbit must sweat. It's always running around like a fucking lunatic. Type in. Well, there's all kinds, man. There's fucking hippos, rhinos, whales, dolphins. See? Porpoises, pigs.

So? There's no guinea pigs. Oh, yeah, dolphins, porpoises, pigs. So? There's no guinea pigs, so yeah. No, the question... Watch out. Stay angry, my friends. I believe this question was named the only two animals that can't sweat. Well, I'm telling you, there's more than that. More than two. So wherever you're looking to find your shit, that's fucking wrong. Okay, I might have fucked that one up, so we'll call that a moot.

A moose? Moot point. What does that mean? I don't know. Ricky, I've just heard it said. That was in that fucking Davies girl song, and I never understood what it meant. Rick Springfield? Jesse's girl. Jesse's girl. He always said the word moot in there. What the fuck is that? Who sings that, Ricky?

Jesse Springfield. Ricky Springfield. Rick Springfield. Jesse's girl. He says that word in that song and I always thought it was fucked. That's the only word you could come up with that kind of rhymed? Moot? What does he say? I heard that word in that song and I always thought it was fucked. It was like, that's the only word you could come up with that kinda rhymed? Moot?

What does he say? The point is... What? What does he say? The point would probably be moot or something. I forget now. Fuck. I just remember that word was in the song and it fucked me up.

Because the first word was like... The question is moot. Did he make that word up? No. Moot. M-O-O-T. Moot. That is it. M-O-O-T. Yes, the question is moot.

What's the question? Ricky, you gotta stop smoking so much dope, okay? Get ready to buzz in, are you ready? We're still doing this, man. Yeah. I got more weed on my hair, I'm sucking. Don't break the fart piano. Name something that you suck on

Shit, no, I don't answer he can answer first. No, no you punch. No, Ricky. Yeah, but my answer is not gonna be right Smoking you what is the question name something that you suck on? All right, what was it what's the answer? What are you gonna say Julie, oh, what was the answer? What are you going to say, Julian? Oh, what are you going to say, man? You hit the fucking thing first. You rang in, Ricky. Are you passing?

I don't know, because I don't know what you guys are going to say. I mean, you know what I'm going to say. What are you going to say? Well, the first thing that came to mind was cock, obviously, but I guess it wouldn't be that. Fingers or earlobes? Or necks? What if it's a question, something you suck on, right, or suck off?

On. On. Fingers or what did you say? Fingers, toes, necks, earlobes. So what's your answer? I'm going to stick the cock would be the number one answer if you ask 100 people I bet. He did get it right. He could do that. So that's the number one answer. I don't know if it's the number one answer. Well fuck Bob's just you

should have like one to ten. What am I gonna fucking go out and do fucking surveys on the street? Well I thought this was like family view. There should be, like, you just can't say, yeah, that's true. You can suck on all kinds of fucking things. I was gonna say lemon. Right, but he rang in first and... I was gonna say lemon. You suck on a lemon.

But he rang in first and... Oh, yeah. Now, a popsicle or a lollipop should be up there at the top, man. Or a lollycock. Or a lollycock, I guess. Not just cock. Okay, get ready. All right.

Lightning round. Get ready, Julian. I'm ready. How many wings does a dragonfly have? This was slow, man. There's a delay on this. Listen. What does a dragonfly have? Fucking hell! This was slow, man. I think Julian was in first. There's a delay on this, listen. Not that time.

There's no fucking delay on that. You were in first, Julian. How many wings on a dragonfly? Four. I thought you said a butterfly. Did I? I don't know. The dragonfly? No, I said dragonfly. There's four wings on a dragonfly. Do we even got a point for that one?

Ah, fuck. Is it four? I thought it was three. It's definitely not three, man. Where? So he have two on one side? No, no. Two at the front and one at the back like a helicopter. Keeps him... That spins. His wings spin around. I don't know. Maybe I'm thinking of a helicopter. A helicopter doesn't have two wings at the front. No, but I thought it was the same idea that it kept it steady. No, it is a helicopter I'm thinking of.

No. What is it? It is four? Yes. Two on each side. Two on each side. It's a biplane. Two on each side. Two on each side. That's a biplane. No, biplane has two wings, Ricky. Yeah. Bi, that's what bi means, two. Really?

Yeah. That's cool. Then I got learned today. I didn't know that. You are bipedal. You have two feet. Like a bicycle. So when you're saying bi to someone, you're really saying two. A bicycle. Two, boys. Bicycle has two feet. Like a bicycle. So when you're saying bye to someone, you're really saying two.

A bicycle. Two boys. Bicycle has two tires. Oh, yes. I thought that was French. All right. So it's one-one. Okay.

Tiebreaker. And then we're done. I thought I won with that one. You won, but Ricky got the first one, didn't he? Yep. Shark and a cock. So you got to... Ricky's going to beat you at the smart game.

He's not going to beat me, man. He's going to beat you at the smart game. Bull fucking shit. I should have won with the lemon, man. What is... Ricky, get ready to buzz in. Oh, shit. I was going to draw a trophy for myself.

All right. What is the capital of California? Ricky's in for the steal! Ricky. San Frangelis. No? No, man, you got two... That's not even a city, Ricky, let alone the capital. Is it this?

San Frangelis. It's where all those steeper streets and streetcars. San Francisco. Fuck yes. No. What's the one with the Rangelis? Los Angeles. Los Angeles and San Francisco.

You turned into San Frangelus. Is one of those right? No, it is not. It is not. Julian for the tie. See, I'm fucked up. I'm not good at this shit, man. I thought it could have been Los Angeles. He was closer with San Frangelus. It's not San Francisco, obviously.

No, it isn't. This is so fucking bad. But it does start with an S. Oh, it's a... Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Sacramento. Ricky got it! Ricky got it. He beat you 3-1 in the smart game. He did not. Never say anything again. No, man, this game is on a protest.

Because what you have there is fucked. Julian, I can't believe Ricky's smarter than you. Just don't watch the video playback. You've got to come up with a better game. If you don't change this up a bit, I'm not playing this again, man. You've got to make sure you get... Next time, I'm going to have real buzzers wired with lights where only one can ring in,

so when you ring in, you cancel out the other guy's circuit. It's a simple circuit I've got to wire up. You should also wire... You should have to hook it to each other's nipples. So if I fucking ring him first, it gives him a little shock in his nipple. So it's like double the fucking... Why would we do that? Why do you want to shock his nipples Ricky? Cuz then it'll I don't know

Hmm. It'll just make you want to ring in more often. I would do that just because I am caught You want me to hook up to your nipples? I'm just saying if you had the fucking fucking proper buzzer and maybe the top ten. I will have it wired up with lights and buzzers and an electric jolt to your nipples. Not too much of a jolt. Not too much. No, but a little tingler.

And he can't fuck around and just start pressing it. A little tingler. A little wakey-upper. Yes, if you fuck around with it just for the reason of jolting the nipples, then you get disqualified. Alright. And I might shoot you. Fair enough. Okay, so we will do that next time. I will get that wired up.

No, I'm not saying... So, are we done? I want to see the buzzer working first. We're not doing the nipple... Hey, fuck up that white gold shot. Are we done? What, is this it? I don't know, is it?

Um, no. I mean, is it? No. Oh, there was a funny thing I read. Is this it? Yeah, this guy here, he won the lottery. You know what he did when he won the lottery, Ricky? What?

He went into his work and pissed on his boss. That's a good one. Pissed on him. What part of him did he piss on? I don't know. Did he get charged? How much did he win? He starts jumping up and down before running across the office to shout in the face of a colleague before storming towards his boss' office.

He turns and returns to his desk where he gets something out of his bag, barges into the office, and appears to spray his boss on the face with mace. Mace. That's what it says, but I think it turns out it's piss. That's aggressive. So he maced him and then pissed on him to... Yeah, he maced him, got him on the ground, but then he jumped on the desk and proceeds to urinate on his boss.

That's fucking awesome. Well, maybe he was just doing it to cancel out the mace. I haven't seen the actual video. It sounds to me like it's a goddamn... one of those staged... One of those stupid staged things. That's what he went back to his bed with. All these videos on YouTube where people, you know,

oh, look at me, look what happened. You can tell as soon as they're staged. Yeah, you watch that... Some of them fool me, but you're good at that stuff. I can tell fucking a fake a mile away. You're good at that shit. Did Julian tell you why he's really getting drunk tonight, having a good time, a big celebration?

No. Might even bake a cake. One of his favorite fucking people's birthday today. Swayze? No, one of the other favorites. Eastwood. Keep going. Schwarzenegger.

Affleck. Casey Affleck. What? Yeah, you love him. Casey Affleck? Yeah. Who the fuck is Casey? Affleck. Ben Affleck. What? Yeah, you love him. Casey Affleck? Yeah. Who the fuck is Casey? Affleck.

Ben Affleck's brother. Yeah. He said you love that fucking guy. What are you talking about? Casey Affleck. You don't love him? No, I don't. What?

No, man. I've never heard him mention Casey Affleck. He's been in some good movies and shit, but no, man. I don't give a fuck if it's his birthday today. Okay. I stand corrected. I thought this was a big day for you.

What? Where the fuck would that come from? Like, Rick. I mean, if it was Eastwood's birthday or Sloan or Schwarzenegger. No, I still wouldn't have,

like, a big night of getting drunk because it's their fucking birthday, man. What are their birthdays? I don't have any idea. I don't even know when your guys' birthdays are, for fuck's sakes. Oh, you don't know when Clint Eastwood's birthday

is. Don't have a clue. Whatever. Why the fuck would I... Bubz. So you don't want to wish Casey a happy birthday? I don't feel like I need to. No, man. I don't give a fuck about his birthday. Just wish Casey a happy birthday. You guys wish him a happy birthday.

Hey Casey Iflack, if you're watching this, happy birthday. Bubbles wants to bang you. Do you? I don't want to bang him. I like Ben Iflack. You want to bang him? No, I didn't mean that. That's what you kind of said.

He's good in some movies. Did you think he was a good Batman? I didn't see Batman with him in it. I don't even have any reason to. Batman versus Superman is stupid anyway. Yeah, that's kind of weird, man. Damn idea. Yeah, I agree.

Who do you fucking go for? I mean, Superman's going to beat him. Superman has actual superpowers. Batman's just kind of, you know Come on, I mean, Superman's gonna beat him. Superman has actual superpowers. Batman's just kinda, you know... Lots of money. He's got lots of money and lots of fucking gear. Yeah. Superman's fucking Superman. He turned the Earth backwards on its axis.

Let's see fucking Batman do that. Well, they're just characters, Bubbs. That must have been a fucked up day. Well, it didn't actually happen, Ricky. Imagine if it did, though. Fuck, the weather. Well, you remember when Superman started flying around and the Earth turned the other way and time went back?

Yep. Remember that? Lois Lane got Got fucked over. Hot or not hot? Who? Batman? No, Lois Lane. Lois Lane? Who's that? Lois' brother? Lois. Whoever the fuck her name is.

Lois Lane? Yes, Lois Lane was hot. Who's won? There's been all kinds. Who's the hottest of all of them? I don't know. There hasn't been a whole bunch of them, has there? There's been a lot of Batmans. Lois Lane's fucking Superman's one. Oh, okay. I'm sorry,

I don't know all the fucking superheroes and the women they bang. Apparently Superman's pretty good in the sock, though. That's what they say. So that's probably

what you dream about. Mm-hmm. Him banging. Mm-hmm. Him banging. Mm-hmm. You get right in there. No. Yeah, you... I'm just mean, Superman, you know.

He could probably turn your pelvis to dust if he wanted to. Hey, you don't want to get banged by Superman. I wonder if he's got a super cock. Does his cock have powers? Oh, I imagine. He's fucking steel. And he'd be able to go forever because he's Superman. Banger up, flying around, super banging.

Cock of steel. He'd be, I'd get it going like a sewing machine. Faster, man. Get it going about 180 miles an hour. A guy can fucking make the world go in a different direction. He could get it going, man, even hour. A guy can fucking make the world go in a different direction. He could get it going, man. He'd invest in his own machine. Yeah, probably.

It'd be cool if his cock had detached and had its own cape. It could go on its own missions. Yeah. That would be something else. Then if it went to the dark side and he had to fight his own cock, that would be fucked. Yeah, that would be fucked, Ricky. You should be writing the next movie, man.

You should be getting a hold of somebody. Superman's cock can detach and it has its own cape and goes out on its own mission. Supercock. And then it goes to the dark side and Superman has to fight his own cock in an epic battle to the death. That's the fucking movie I would like to see. Hmm. Well, I guess I movie I would like to see. Well, I guess it wouldn't be able to see. What?

What? This cock wouldn't be able to see, so it wouldn't really know where it's going. I guess it could just sense where to go. It's a super cock, man. It knows, it could figure it out. It's got special powers. I was just trying to make it as believable as you could. You only have one good eye. Oh, yeah. Uni-Clock.

It'd be more of a mouth, though. It'd be a big mouth. Not an eye. And you've never heard the expression, shove it up the eye of your cock? I've heard of it, yeah. Well, do you ever hear, shove it up the mouth of your cock? It's an eye. It's not really an eye, your cock? It's an eye.

It's not really an eye, though. It's like an eye socket. No, but on super cock it would be. He could probably use it for multiple things. He could go, eyeball, and then that disappears and, you know, a torch comes out. Torch? He'd probably have a little torch for cutting things, burning things, cutting through steel. He'd have a little saw blade that'd come out.

His eyes should be able to do all kinds of shit like that. He can see, he can cut. That's what I mean, Ricky. Yeah, that's cool. That's where his tools would come out of. I like that idea. What color would his cape be? That's a good question. I'll have to think about that one.

Something cool. Fast. Something cool and fast. What's a good question. I'll have to think about that one. Something cool. Something cool and fast. What's a fast color? What's a fast color? Orange? Orange isn't a fast color, I don't think. Red? Like speedy. Red or silver?

Like streak color. Streaks. Like a streak. So what color is a streak? A streak color. You got streaks on his cape. I'll tell you about this fucking guy, he's a professional joint roller. I'm fucking pissed off that I didn't think of it. I mean, I should be getting paid for some of the fucking joints I've rolled. This guy's good. He's from fucking Oregon. Yeah?

His name's actually Tony Greenhand. I wonder if he made that up. Tony Greenhand? Greenhand guy. He rolls machine gun joints and gets like seven grand for some of his shit. Seven grand? Yeah. For one joint? Yep. How big is it? It took him 40 hours. It's a machine gun about this, an AK-47 about this big. It's fucking impressive. Half a pound of weed. So how much does a half a pound go for right now? Well, you can get a half pound for pretty cheap these days. 1,200 bucks.

1,200 bucks. 1,000 bucks if you know the right people. Less than 10 bucks in papers. So you've got to start making things like this, man. I'm thinking about it. You know, maybe my new calling. Well, there's all these dispensaries and shit. Maybe we can line something up with those guys

and start selling, like, you know, handgun joints and shit. Yeah, or whatever they want. You can make anything. A fucking... You can make super cock. Yeah. With a little joint cape on them. You can make a missile.

That'd be pretty easy. It's the same shape. Mm-hmm. Or maybe a fighter jet. Yeah. With a little joint cape on him. You can make a missile. That'd be pretty easy. It's the same shape. Mm-hmm. Or maybe a fighter jet. Yeah. You could make a cock, definitely, like you said. Oh, I didn't. Actually, the sex toy, they erected the world's largest dildo.

It's 12 feet 4 inches high. I have a circum... circum... cuff. And it was all veiny. It was pretty gross. But I wonder if I could roll a cock joint that big and say, no longer the world's biggest cock there, but... Mm-hmm. Super joint cock.

It's 13 feet. 13-foot cock joint coming at ya. Need about eight pounds of weed. Today's episode of the podcast has been brought to you by Beeline Cables and Cox. And TrillerPrepBoysMerch.com. You gotta go there and buy some shit, because it's not really happening.

I kind of gotta use it, boys, so let's... I gotta use it. How bad is it? It's getting bad, Ricky. Number one or number two? No, just number one. I've been drinking beers. One and a half.

What? What's a one and a half? It's where it comes out the other end, but it's pretty much pure liquid. So it could have come out either end. No, it couldn't, Ricky. If it's coming out there, you've got some fucking problems. You've got some downstairs mix-ups. Yeah, you've got some piping problems.

You've got some pipes crossed. All right, we're going to start making some joints, Ricky. Yeah, I'm all over it. All right. Maybe I'll roll a joint that looks just like Casey, a Fleck, and give him to you. Fuck off. You can cuddle him all night.

Now why'd you have to start seeing that shit? I don't know, just came back. Where did that fucking come from, man? I thought that that was one of your favorite guys. No, I don't have a fucking, I don't even know what movie, Spitting, man. Maybe I picked the wrong guy. There's somebody you have a fucking crush on.

I don't have a crush on anybody. All I think is a good ass and is cute. Oh, would you fuck off?