Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 58 - Korey Jarvis Has a Bit of a Samsquamptch Look

Episode Date: September 8, 2016

Last month, Olympic wrestler Korey Jarvis was competing in Rio, this month, he’s locking horns in a game of Sunnyvale Family Feud! Korey (with a K and E) chats with the Boys about getting elbowed in the wiener, whether or not he’d try UFC, and the greasy s**t that goes on in the Olympic Village! PLUS - Could he take down the GREEN BASTARD?? Episode 58 is brought to you by the Official Trailer Park Boys Store, and Neat 'King Bee' microphones!      

Oh, fuck. Check off. My mic's working great. That's it. My mic is working. Nice little setup, man. You should my mic's working great. That's it. My mic is working. Nice little setup, man. You should have the arm, though. I mean, that's all right.

That'll do, but the arm's way cooler, man. Now you got that fucking arm thing in front of you. I couldn't get an arm just yet. I'm going to get arms, but for now, I got her fucking geared. It's kind of showing off, and we don't have one, which isn't really fair. Well, you should have put some effort into getting a little stand like I did. Yeah, we probably sound like fucking robots and you sound... ...crystally clear.

I sound great. Are we going? I don't know. Are the cameras going? Yeah, we're going. Alright, let's get this done. Want me to start this off or what? Go ahead then. What's going on you fuckers? This is the official Trailer Prep Boys...

...podcast. It's coming at you you fuckers? This is the official Trailer Prep Boys podcast. It's coming at you right now. Got a special guest here today. Pretty fucking cool. He was just down in Rio. Buffs? I don't know. Go ahead, bud.

Corey Jarvis. You forgot to say what number it was. Dumbass. What? He's a... What? You forgot to say what number it was. I'm introducing... No. Boys, it's a... what? I forgot to say what number it was. I'm introducing...

No, you wouldn't want to... Boy, this is way more important than fucking introduce the guest and... Okay, it's episode... 58. Isn't it? You don't even know. You don't even know. It's 58.

Cory Jarvis is here, fresh back from the fucking Olympics. How you doing? Pound it. Pound it, yeah. Cheers, man. Yeah, man. Cheers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cheers, man. Cheers, cheers.

Canadian fucking Olympic wrestler right here. Kind of like a bit of a Sam Squamish up to you. Do you have that on when you wrestle? That beard? Oh yeah, yeah. What if somebody grabs it and fucking... Well, maybe you gotta grab something too. Grab their back. Does any of that shit go on when you guys are fighting?

Oh, it's dirty out there. It gets real dirty. Any fingers in the ass? Oh, it's been known to happen. Jesus. It's called checking your oil. Yeah, you watch the blooper wrestling and it's there. Holy fuck.

Yeah, it's called checking your oil. It was a... It was a... Entree of the giant. Yeah, entree, I think. Used to do the dirty. His thumbs were about that big around. He's a big bastard.

You never fought him, did you? No, he think, started it. His thumbs were about that big around. He's a big bastard. You never fought him, did you? No, he was before my time. I mean, I saw you got a fucking shit ton of medals over the past number of years. Yeah, man, you'd be kicking ass. But I noticed you don't have any championship belts. No, I don't. Like, did you ever, you never fought in the WWE?

No, no. He was in the fucking Olympics, like, real wrestling. Not the fake shit. Oh, WWF's not real? Come on, man, we're not gonna get into it. It's all scripted, Pops. They don't fucking, they know who's gonna win before they fucking go out there.

But the Olympics is not scripted, right? No, no. It looks pretty real. It'd be pretty good acting if it was. So you're out there elbowing each other in the wieners, are you? Sometimes. Yeah, youing each other in the wieners, are you? Sometimes.

Yeah, you catch an elbow in the wiener once in a while. Jesus. I know when I wrestle Randy, Randy's got no shirt, so he's kind of like oily and greasy. Do you deal with a lot of oil and grease? We get sweaty, we get greasy. Smells? Especially at heavyweight wrestling,

I know it happens, we get greasy. Are you allowed to like, you know, coat yourself in Vaseline? No, you can't coat yourself, but... Put a little on there just for. You know, it happens. We get greasy. Are you allowed to, like, you know, coat yourself in Vaseline? No, you can't coat yourself, but... Put a little on there just to, you know, keep your skin soft?

Yeah, you know, a little lotion in the morning never hurt anyone. Some people don't, like, fucking shower on purpose for, like, a week or two straight. Oh, you'll get a stinky

bastard once in a while. Oh, really? Oh, man. That sucks. That would make you violent, though. It'd make you want to fucking get it over with.

You want to get that done. You want to get it over with. You want to get that done. You want to get that guy down. You want to get him quick, done. So whoever does that, they're fucked in the head. Do they do it on purpose, or is it just stinky countries? I heard Russia's a stinky country. Russia's a sore spot. I don't know if we should talk about Russia.

Okay. No. He doesn't understand anything. You're going to piss off the Russians now. Oh, I didn't mean to piss them off. Do you remember who was the stinkiest guy you ever wrestled? Do you remember that? Oh, yeah, big time.

You don't forget a smell like that. This Mohammed, I forget his last name, straight from Pakistan. Yeah, he was stinky. Oh, I wrestled him in the morning, first match, and I had to shower immediately after. Wow. See, he did that on purpose. You beat him? Yeah.

Yeah, you wanted it done with. Yeah, you wanted it done and quick. Appendizas. Well, that's what I don't realize, it's gonna make you more angry. We should get some tips off him for when you wrestle Randy, cuz Randy's pretty good. What about you and the Green Bastard? Well, I... I've seen the Green Bastard.

He's a pretty tough dude. He is? Yes, he is. I know him well. I've met him a number of times. So what do you think? Bob is Green Bastard, you know, against an Olympic wrestler. Well, I...

Green Bastard would get destroyed. Yeah, my money would be on Corey. Oh, you think so, do you? Yeah. Well, Green Bastaster fights dirty. Well, I told you I took an elbow in the wiener. I can fight back dirty. He's checked people's oil, man.

He's done everything. Green Baster. Green Baster might produce foreign object. See how you deal with that? Part's unknown. See how you deal with that? Fuck a pair of pliers to the face. All right, okay.

Hopefully they're not needle nose. Just saying. You know, I don't know that you want to fight him. He's a dirty bastard. Green bastard. This fucking pair of pliers is pretty dirty, Bob. Yeah, that's just the kill, huh? It's usually like a fucking disk or something.

It's like a... A disk? Like a, you know, like a foreign object. A little thing to put in there. Like a CD? Kind of like a, you know, like a little something. A Frisbee? Like a foreign object, a little thing to put in there. Like a CD? You know, like a little something, man. Like a washer or something, man. I don't know. An LP.

A washer? Yeah. How about the butt of a screwdriver? The fucking teeth. That would probably work. He's a dirty green bastard. He is dirty. I wouldn't recommend fighting him myself. Brass knuckles.

So what's the deal, man? How long do you plan on, like, fighting professionally? Like, you know, are you gonna try for the National Olympics? Yeah, but no, that's my plan, man. I'm gonna get back on the horse and go for it. I got a good taste when I was out there, and I feel like I can go out and get a medal for this. You don't wrestle on horses, do you?

No, but I'm gonna get back on the horse. He's going to fucking give her. He owns a horse. Bob, no, he's going to give her and fucking do it up the next one as well, you know? So what about this? The UFC, man. Any interest in that shit? Yeah, I don't really want to get punched in the face for money,

but I would if there was the right amount of money, right? Yeah. I mean, the wrestlers, they always do good in the UFC, right? They do well, yes. They get in, they get them down the crowd. Are you a puncher, too? Like, do you ever punch anybody at the Olympics? Didn't punch anyone, but I could punch someone if I had to. You know, see?

I wouldn't want to fuck a fight. I know that. No. Green Bastard would, though. Yeah, Green Bastard. Let's see the Green Bastard, you two have a few drinks. I want to see him get angry. Green Bastard wouldn't shy away. So what's next for you, what's the next championships?

Right now, just training and there's a couple big things. Obviously get ready for the World Championships next year and then down in Australia, the Commonwealth Games are in Australia in 2018. And I'll be a returning champion there, so I'm going to go back and hopefully win another medal there. You got the gold there, didn't you? The Commonwealth?

Kicked ass. Was that in Scotland? Yeah. Yeah, nice. I went to the 2010 one in New Delhi, India also. Yeah, I finished silver there. Nice. Awesome, man.

Nice. Canada kicking ass. Fucking doing our country proud. What was it like? This was your first Olympics? Yep. So what was that like, you know, the whole opening ceremony and walking in

with the Canada gear on? Was it pretty decent? Yeah, it was real decent. The crowd was awesome. Brazil hosted an amazing Olympics. The crowd was really into it. They loved that Canada was there. Everyone likes Canada, Olympics. The crowd was really into it. They loved that Canada was there.

Everyone likes Canada, right? We're a bunch of nice guys. That's right. Speaking of pounding, how was the athletes' village and stuff? Was there a lot of things going on there? Oh, there was things going on. Yeah, I bet. Lots of drinking?

I competed right at the end, so I wasn't into it, but I definitely woke up a couple mornings and you see people coming home from the bar. Brazil, you can party all night, every night, right? So. I can just imagine. What are the ladies like? Oh yeah, you know what the ladies are like, Bubbles. Yes, I do.

Some of those, oh, Jesus, Murphys. You're gonna have to remove that now, you guys. You're gonna have to lose your bumblebee. No, I'm just gonna talk into this. I don't mind having this here. So what is this new contraption there? That's a shock mount. A spider web?

It's a shock mount, see? So when you hit it, it doesn't, just jiggles. What if you punch it? Don't punch my fucking microphone. Or I will get someone to fucking pin you. Who gave you the microphone, bud? New microphones. This would be a perfect time to fucking ping you. Who gave you the microphone, bud? Neat microphones. This would be a perfect time to fucking do a shout out

to the sponsors, man. See, that's neat microphones. Do they make the Spiderweb, too? Yeah, Ricky. If you fucking break my microphone, I'm gonna pay somebody to fucking submit you right here on the ground. Hasn't been thoroughly tested.

That's all I wanna know. I think it needs to be thoroughly tested. Do people tap out in Olympic wrestling? It's happened before. Yeah? People have been choked out and tapped out. Geez, did you ever, like, do a Jackie, you know, a Steven Seagal, snap an arm backwards

just to teach anybody a lesson? Tried, but it's never worked out that way. Mm-hmm. Have you ever wrestled anything else except a person? I always wanted to wrestle a bear, like a small bear. Holy fuck! Yeah, that would be next level. Ricky's long lost brother right here.

That's all he talks about is wrestling fucking bears. Or a fucking gator. Or gators. Those things will fuck you up. Well, bears, they could fuck you up pretty bad too, I think. But you said you could take one. I didn't say for sure. Write him on a letter and I think he could get it done.

Yeah, we've talked about that. Write him on a letter. They're pretty easy to outsmart because they're dumb. Bears aren't dumb. Bears are smart as fuck. I thought they were dumb. What's a dumb animal that's big? Well, you're not that smart as fuck. I thought they were dumb. What's a dumb animal that's big? Well, you're not that smart, man. Moose is big, though.

You'd never be able to wrestle a moose. Ricky, a moose would fucking destroy you. Fucking things are nine feet tall. Moose is a big animal. Moose is a big animal. Do you ever see a moose? Oh yeah, I'm from Northern Ontario, and I've seen a lot of moose. Goddamn moose everywhere up there. Yeah. I used to have a moose? Oh yeah, I'm from Northern Ontario and I've seen a lot of moose.

Goddamn moose everywhere up there. Yeah. I used to have a pet moose. What? What? No you didn't, man. I used to have a pet moose. When the fuck did you have a pet moose? Years ago.

When? 1981. 1981. Good year. So full of shit, man. I had a pet moose back then. And what did you call him? Dolly. Dolly the pet moose back then. What did you call him? Dolly.

Dolly the pet moose. And he, where was he? It was a female moose. Dolly, and I used to pull the... Don't they call that like a cow? I don't know. I called it a moose. Yeah, they do call him a cow, man. Yeah.

Name Dolly. Where did you keep this moose? Hey, don't try to fucking get out of this one, man. I had a moose in the park, tied behind my shed. You don't think we would have noticed it? It was a baby moose. It was a baby moose. It was a baby moose. It only booked that pig.

Now I know this is a live dog. Yeah, man, they're way bigger than that. Hmm, it was a dog. It wasn't a dog. It was a dog with antlers. You're a fucking dog with antlers. Okay, boys. You know what I think it's time for? You know what I think it's time for?

I don't have to play this week because I won last week. No, you didn't. I won last week, man. I'm the fucking champion. No, you didn't. The guest won. Like fuck he did. I didn't win nothing. No, last week, man. I'm the fucking champion. No, you didn't. The guest won. Like fuck he did. I didn't win nothing. No, last week. You know how to play Family Feud?

Who doesn't? Well... One person I know. Who? Different people, but I know. Well, Cory, with a K and an E, I hope you're dumb. I've been known to be dumb. No. Julian's pretty dumb.

You're fucking dumb, man. What are you talking about? I'm not dumb. Okay. We are gonna play Family Feud. Da-da-da. Da-da-da. Da-da-da. Da-da-da.

Da-da-da. Doo-doo-doo. Da da da! Da da da! Da da da! Da da da! Da da da! Doo doo doo! Okay, so you've got the doorbell. He's got the horn. You've got the... And I don't need that one because I'm not playing. Let's get right down to the game. Do you want to play this week and I'll ask?

No. No, I'm the host. Fuck. I'm Richard Dawson, Bubbles Dawson. Bubbles Dawson. Bubbles Dawson. Guess I'm the guests. All right, here we go. Name a fruit... Name a fruit...

Oh, with lots of seeds. Julian's in first. Pomegranate. Come on. Pomegranate. Come on. Pomegranate. That is there, but it is not the number one answer. Corey, you steal the game. Apple. Apple's got less than pomegranate. I told you I wasn't smart.

Ricky, hang in. Name a fruit with lots of seeds. I don't know. I don't know. I wasn't smart. Ricky, ring in. Name a fruit with lots of seeds. Hey, Ricky. Summertime. Summertime. Hey, give him the X's, man.

Birthday parties. Oh, that's not what I was thinking. What were you gonna say? Raspberry. Well, they're kinda crunchy. They got some crunchy shit going. That's why I don't like them, man. Per size, they have the most.

Per size. Per capita. All right, so what are we doing? Number one answer on the board was a watermelon. Ah. Think of the the board was a watermelon. Ah. Think of the fucking seeds in a watermelon. All right, so nobody got it. Nobody got that.

That one goes to this guy. He got one of them. I got one of them. Yeah, I should win. And I would have said watermelon. Well, that isn't how we do it. Should I ring in? I should.

No. Zero, zero, zero. OK, I should have rang in. Who's keeping isn't how we do it. Should I ring in? I should. Yeah, it should be. 0-0-0-0. OK, I should have rang in. Who's keeping score? I am. It's all zeroes across the board. Are we all down and we all sad? Are we all down and we all ready?

Question number two. Name something that makes you itch. Ricky's in first. Fuck. I thought it was a different quest. Wool. Oh my god, wool. That's not the number one answer.

It is on there. Alright, I was number two. What? I was number two? Yeah. Crabs. Do I have to sit beside him? Crabs, man, chill out.

Crabs are not in the top answer. Corey, you steal the game. Poison Ivy. Poison Ivy. Fuck! Number one answer on the board. Cheers, cheers, cheers. Cheers, man, but what's number two?

Fuck's sakes. Corey is winning the game. Number two was insect bites. Hey, that's crabs, man. No, it's not. Well, it's still number two. They're biting at you, man. That might be a technicality. I'd give it to him on that. It's still number two. Number two is worth nothing. Poison ivy was the number one answer. Is pepper on there? Pepper? Pepper does something to you.

I would say it makes you sneeze. Oh yeah. It makes you itch if you, you know, put a pepper grinder down your pants. I bet you'd get itchy down there. Alright. Let's try it. Alright. Okay boys, this game is fucking cooking along. Cory is leading one-nothing.

Name something that is better when it's hot. Corey was in first. A girl. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. That's what I was gonna say. That's not the answer. Name something that's better when it's hot. That was a fucking good answer.

Ricky to steal the game. Coffee. Number one answer. Ricky to steal the game. Coffee. Number one answer! Are you fucking kidding me? Ricky pulls it out of the fucking dust. See, that doesn't make any sense, man. His last answer was pepper, and he gets one right. He wins with coffee.

He doesn't even fucking drink coffee. Good work, Ricky. He was cheating, man. All right, bring it. work, Ricky. He was cheating, man. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Bring it. Coffee, soup. Soup is tea. Tea is on there.

Pizza. I was gonna say pizza. Cold pizza's all right, but she's a lot better when she's right out of the fucking oven. Bread? And cocoa. Bread's delicious when it's warm.

No, you don't get hot bread though, Ricky. What color dough is this? A biscuit may be a roll. Oral. Oral. Oral. It's better when it's hot. When it's hot?

Well, if it's cold, it would be. Yeah, explain cold oral and hot oral. Yeah. Cold would be, you'd be dead. What's hot oral and cold oral? That's fucking gross. Well, hot would be like if you're out in a blizzard, and you come in and have oral right away.

It's going to be nice and warm and be awesome. I see where you're going with that. Or you could put ice cubes on your package for a bit. Cool it down. Cold oral. Throw it into something warm. Throw it into something warm. Throw it into something warm. Like what, Ricky?

A hot piss? Ricky, you put ice cubes on your package, and then you throw it into something warm. Like the oven? No, like, you know, something with a little bit of heat in there. Yeah. Just a little bit of heat. All right, we're back. with a little bit of heat in there. Yeah. Yeah. Just a little bit of heat. Yeah.

All right, we're back. We are back. Wow. Um, let me see. How about this one? What is a problem most people have in their lives? Julian. That's too fucking general.

Not getting banged enough. Not getting facked enough. Not there, Julian. Yes, not getting facked. Number five. Number five. Not getting facked, that's what it says. What is a problem most people have in their lives?

Cory, to steal the game. No money. Fucking Jesus, that's what I was gonna say. Financial problems, number one answer, right there. Fuck you. It should be number two. Cory takes the fucking lead. Fucking fuck. Because if you're broke and you're banging a lot,

you're still gonna be happy, right? So banging should be number one. Like definitely. I understand that, yeah. For a guy's point. It doesn't say what's the biggest problem people have in their lives. It's what is a problem most people have in their lives.

Most people have money problems. I know I fucking do. What do they pay you to wrestle in the Olympics? Do you make like... Not enough, man. No. That's fucking bullshit. I know.

All that training. Yeah, it's not right. All that fucking training. Give me. All that training. Yeah, it's not right. All that fucking training. Give me some, show me the money is what they say. That's right, man. Jerry McGuire. Okay, this is the final question here, boys. Final question.

It's two to one and zero. Best I can hope for is a tie. Well, we'll go to a tiebreaker if we need to. Name a sport that does not use a tie. Well, we'll go to a tiebreaker if we need to. Name a sport that does not use a ball. Oh, that was a tie. Go again. Julian's in first.

I wasn't ready for the second one. All right. Swimming. Swimming is the number two way. Oh, for fuck's sakes! We're in Canada, name a sport that does not use a ball. Do we have to chime in? Yeah.

Recce, to steal the game. The, uh... Skiing? Or no, fuck. Oh, I know what it is, can I Skiing? Or no, fuck. I know what it is. Can I say it again? No. It's so easy.

Rowing? Hockey. Ricky, number one answer. I even said we're in fucking Canada, boss. You can play, like, ball hockey. You guys love ball hockey. That's a ball. Yeah.

So it's bullshit. The puck is like a ball. Another question. Oh, fuck. Another question. Are you giving him that one? No. That's BS.

There is. Yeah, he's got a point. I was going to say hockey. There's a form of hockey that uses a ball, so that's kind of a moot question. Hooper. That's crap. Okay, we need a tiebreaker.

I'm smashing this one with my head. What's a tiebreaker? You're not even in, come on. No, man, I'm trying. You don't give up. Um, name a famous... person named Tom. Cory's in first.

Tom Jones. That is the number one answer. That was good. Name a famous Tom. Can I go again? Oh, Julian got in. Tom, Tom Arnold. That is the number two answer.

Ricky. Tom, Tom Arnold. That is the number two answer. Ricky. Uh, Tom Brady? Not the number one answer. Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise, number one answer. Cory went for the fucking game. What do you mean, Tom Cruise, man?

Tom, this, like, this popped into your head, this whole thing, right? Tom Cruise, the most famous Tom. What about Tom Selleck? Yeah, what about Tom Selleck? He's on the list, too, but Tom Cruise... No, we're not talking about the list of dudes you'd bang. Give me good. Bob, it's Tom Cruise and Tom Selleck.

I'm not the one who's got a Tom Selleck poster on my wall, but I don't have a fucking Tom Selleck. What about Thomas the Engine? Come on. What's that? You love your trains. Why would Thomas the Engine? Thomas the Engine, yeah. No, Thomas the Tank Engine, he's famous, too, come on. What's that? You love your trains, why would Thomas the engine? Thomas the engine, yeah. Thomas the tank engine, he's famous too, worldwide. Yeah, Tommy Gunn.

Tommy Gunn. Who's that? Who's Tommy Gunn? Isn't he famous? I think he just made that up. I don't even think he's a guy, that's a barber shop. It's famous gun. Tommy Gunn. So you are the fucking champ, family feud champ. That's a barbershop. Yeah. It's a famous gun. Gun to gun.

So you are the fucking champ, family feud champ. That was pretty tough. All right, good call, man. That was a good win. Tom Cocker. Second place ain't bad, buddy. Thanks, man. You were fucking smarter than I thought you were going to be.

See that? That's called sportsmanship. Yeah. You know that, Ricky? Because when you win, you're like, ah, fuck you, I won. That's what he was thinking in his head, though. Yeah, wrestling is a gentleman's sport. We shake hands before, we shake hands after, you know?

And they all bow each other in the wieners. In between, it's not, but after and before, it's definitely gentlemen. All right. All right, boys, I got to talk about this story, man. I was reading up on this chick. She's Vietnamese, right? Yeah.

She hires someone to cut off her hand and her foot so she can claim health insurance. Like, we're talking 180 fucking grand. This is what she did. She went out to buy a railroad track. How much was she paying the guy? I would have did it. 20, like, 2,200 bucks.

No, it's not much. Which is not a lot of money. Like, this is her friend that did it. You're going to remember doing it for a while probably well You're gonna be more fucked up than she is you know like I can't believe I cut her hands off and her foot Anyways, she might cut it off. What do you use? like a Axe or something man. I don't fucking know she's

She'd she laid down next to a railroad track right and pretended that a train ran over it her friend came in hacked them off It was like oh my god We got to get you to a hospital as if the a train ran over it. Her friend came in, hacked them off. It was like, oh, my God, we've got to get you to a hospital, as if the fucking train ran over her. So they tried to fuck the train. Well, yeah, they're trying to sue someone for $180,000, but, man, the fucked-up thing is they did an investigation. They found out it was her good friend that she paid the $2,000 to. She got caught.

She lost her hand and her foot for nothing. So she didn't get any money. And she owed her friend $2,000 to. She got caught. She lost her hand and her foot for nothing. So she didn't get any money. And she owed her friend $2,200 for doing it. She should have used something weird, like a fucking pizza wheel or something weird to do with. A pizza wheel? Rick, you know how fucking long it would take to cut your foot off with a pizza wheel?

Depending on how strong you were, I guess, with the pressure. I think I could get it done real quick. You do? A pizza wheel? What a pizza wheel. You got a pizza wheel? Depending on how strong you were, I guess, or the pressure. I think I could get it done real quick. You do? With a pizza wheel? With a pizza wheel. You got a pizza wheel around here? You could sharpen them up,

actually. They could get pretty sharp. Yeah, mine's razor sharp. Was it enough? Boys, don't get up the pizza wheel and start testing fucking limbs with it, please.

Anyway, that's one of the most fucked up things we've ever heard. It was a good idea for her, I guess. There's a happy ending. She didn't get charged. The police were going to charge her.

They're like, you're so fucking dumb. You did that to yourself. We'll let you go. I hope that's what they said. They gave her a hand. You know what I mean? Do they try to put the foot and the hand back on? They try to put it back on.

It turned black and they just kind of chipped it off. She should have did the opposite. Put her foot on her hand and her hand on her foot. Yeah, just, you're fucked. You're going to do it. That was punishment. That would have been a great punishment. And even if it was rotten, you've got to keep it on there.

You've got to keep a foot on your hand for one year. Yeah. You're so stupid. See, that's great punishment. Why would you get around? That'd be fucking cool. Handstand? Or you could wheel. Handstand.

Or they could have put something even weirder on to punish her, you know, like sew a fucking, you know, like a toaster or something on there. Or a hoof. A hoof. A hoof, yeah, put a hoof on her. Who's gonna change the hoof? Like, the horseshoe on the hoof.

That's the other thing they put on her hand. They put a big hammer on there. Tie or stitch a hammer on, and then she's got a hoof foot, and she's gotta change her own horseshoe. That's punishment. That's punishment enough. Ricky, what did we smoke? It's just kicking in right now.

I don't know. It's creep weed. Jesus Christ. Oh, we didn't do, I added another, we're gonna do birthdays, but instead of just hot or not, I put in a handsome hot or not, just for the dudes.

A handsome hot or not? Yeah, so you might still think they're hot, but there's one or two girls. What the fuck are you talking about? So today, famous birthday today, you just gotta say hot, handsome or not. Adam Sandler. Handsome. Handsome pal.

Julia? Not, man. I don't want to be a part of this. You're gonna like this one, bubs. It's got the same name as you. Michael Bubble. Michael Bublé. Yeah. Michael Bublé, he's a very handsome man.

Would you go so far as to say hot, maybe, even? I don't find him hot, but I think he's a handsome man. Closer to hot than handsome? No. Just over? Just right up the middle of handsome. He's up off the handsome scale? What the fuck?

Something just fucking got me. Did I get him? Zika. Zika virus. Hugh Grant. Julian, I'm going to ask you first on that one. He used to be handsome. No, man.

Not. He used to be handsome. Yeah, you used to like him a lot. He's cutie. I didn't have cutie on here. I should have. And Michelle Williams will finish with the female. Hot.

Yeah. You know you're hot. Hot. That was fucking really something. How was your birthday there whenever it happened? That was a fucking messy one, eh? It got a little crazy. Got a little crazy.

I've never seen you throw up that much ever, I don't think. Well, I was doing that on purpose. I think I got food poisoning. That was from the pack of hot dogs I ate. I tell you, hot dogs... I ate a whole pack of hot dogs drunk. Hot dogs and chicken wings combined when they come back up is not a fucking nice sight.

Yeah, they were raw, and they were old as fuck, too. I'm drunk. Hot dogs and chicken wings combined when they come back up is not a fucking nice sight. Yeah, they were raw, and they were old as fuck, too. Pups, man. I thought they were so dark, I thought they were cooked. But they were just rotten. Ate the whole pack, drunk. And a bottle of Southern Comfort, which is not a good combination.

And a fucking liter of chocolate milk. That's what that was. That's a mess. There was some curdling going on. Okay. A pack of rotten hot dogs, a quart of Southern Comfort, and a liter of chocolate milk.

And a McChicken. Birthday of champions. I'll put a McChicken in there, too. Extra sauce. I'm getting hungry, boys, actually. All right. You guys want to go get some food? Let's go get some food, man.

This fucking shit isn't coming. Yeah, these chips are not... Well, that was fucking... That was decent. Thanks for coming. Yeah, man. Thanks for coming in. Good luck in your next fights.

And if you ever do decide to go to the UFC, I know a manager that can help you out, man. I've been looking into it. You... who? Is his name Julian? Yeah, I know a bit about the fight. You know? See, that's the lie button. That's not the lie button. I'll manage you know... Who? Is his name Julian? Yeah, I know a bit about the fight... You know? See?

See? That's the lie button. That's not the lie button. I'll manage you, man. I know a bit about the UFC. What was that for? That's the lie button. It's not the... You know?

I was happy to be here. Oh, thanks. See you, huh? He's got the jokes. What does he have? I was happy to be here. Oh, thanks. He's got the jokes. What does he have? A house. Oh. Hey, Ricky, when you see Michelle Williams,

you know what happens? What does that mean? Boing? That's what happens in June. He wants to back it up. Yeah. When I get to her house, it's going to be like, game on. Is it going to be cold or hot?

Three minutes. No, you walk up to her door. She comes to the door. You do a bit of, game on. Nice. All right, thanks for coming again. Yeah, nice man. Cheers, brother.

Awesome. Keep kicking ass. All right, man.