Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 59 - Who is Bubbles Trebek?

Episode Date: September 9, 2016

Ricky’s not in a great mood today because, yet again, his car is fucked. The Boys put their brains to the ultimate test with a game of Sunnyvale Jeopardy, and they debate the existence of aliens. Plus - why does Ricky want to go to China?   Episode 59 is brought to you by the Official Trailer Park Boys Store, and Neat 'King Bee' microphones!          

My computer opened up. That's a nice computer. It's not as nice as mine, but it's pretty cool. It's fucking decent. Guess why I got that? Because everybody's been raving about my Family Feud game. Family Feud? The people apparently are loving Family Feud, so... SwearNet gave me this computer. Now we can play Jeopardy.

Full-on Jeopardy. I'm not playing fucking Jeopardy, even though I would win. I just kind of want to play Jeopardy, man. We're playing fucking Jeopardy. I guarantee you we're playing Jeopardy. I'm too fucking pissed off to play fucking Jeopardy, man. We're playing fucking Jeopardy. I guarantee you we're playing Jeopardy. I'm too fucking pissed off to play fucking Jeopardy or anything else today. What are you pissed off at? Lots of shit.

This fucking podcast, number one, I don't want to fucking do it today. Well, Julian's been all smiling. Oh, fucking, you know what? You know what? Welcome to the podcast. Podcast. Official Trailer Park Boys podcast. Number 59. It's not starting yet. Podcast, right? You did say podcast because there's a big difference. Oh, fuck. What? Just

settle it down. You know what? People are going to complain that I wore the same shirt two weeks in a row, but guess what? I washed the fucking thing. So I don't want people on there saying, oh, Bubba's was fucking had a shirt on for a week. Should you wash that thing or you just took it off and left it on your floor and put it back on? Well I didn't wear it for the whole week. Are you a hummer? It should be washed.

Your mouth should be washed out with soap. Yeah, your mother should be washed out with soap. Yeah, that's nice talk. Well, you know what? Can you say humming for stink? Humming? Oh, he's humming. He's got a hum to him.

You know what? I've heard that. What if it makes no sense? Like, is it so stinky that it actually makes a little noise? I don't know what that means. It's humming. Or it's a whistle. Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo. I don't think that is it. That's woo-hoo. Woo-hoo. Woo-hoo.

I don't think that is that. That's woo-hoo and it'd be a hum. Like there's a hum coming off you. Yeah, it's like that's the stink. I know what a hummer is. What's a hummer, Ricky? You know, a thing that the ladies do to you. Ladies do you a hummer? Yeah,hmm. Ladies do you a hummer?

Yeah, man. Isn't that a hummer? Who's giving you a hummer? Different...different girls. Lucy, especially. Okay, so what is the hummer? I've never heard of the hummer. What is that? Getting a hummer. Getting a hummer. It's a B.J.

Yeah. Oh. It's a B.J. A B.J. is called a hummer. It's a BJ. Yeah. Oh, it's a BJ. A BJ is called a hummer. Yeah. Well, that's if they hum while they're doing it. Hmm. Is that if you had that happen to you, Bubs?

Hmm, you better believe it. Hundreds of times, bullshit. All right, so what's happening guys? Holy fuck. Cause I'm fucking not in a good mood as it is. You know what? And I brought this hammer cause I wanna fucking smash this shit.

Why are you in a bad mood? What is wrong with you? Car troubles guys. Jacob fucked my car. And they're not even sure if they can find the fucking parts to fix it cause it's old. It's a 75. Jacob fucked your car like literally?

Probably. After that story we saw about the minivan, he may have. But rear end, fucked. And how did Jacob do it? I don't fucking know. He's dumb. He was probably jamming it. The gear shift doesn't work fucking great,

and he probably was just fucking it too much, and it just said, fuck you, and blew up. Or it's from years of you living in the fucking thing and not really taking care of it. Maybe that's the problem. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? You've just, well, when I gave, you remember I gave you that car years back? Yes.

It was in fucking beautiful condition, man. It wasn't mint. It was, it was about 98%. It was pretty fucking nice, Ricky. And you fucked it over. Sorry, but I'm just, I've got a lot of fucking aggression right now. I don't mean to smash shit, but I brought a few things. What are you smashing?

It's better to smash things than to smash people. You've got to get this away from me. You guys aren't helping the fucking me feel better. Okay, you know what? I've been thinking about this. I've hated doing these things for a long time, but I'm starting to warm up to these podcashes a little bit. They're not that bad.

You got to be more positive, Ricky. You got to come in, like, with a positive fucking vibe to you. You can't come in with a fucking hammer. Boys, I'm fucking, look, where am I going to get money to fix a car, if it can even be fixed, or get a new car? We're going to have to do some fucking jobs or something. We'll do some jobs. Right on. Bubs?

What kind of jobs? Jobs. It's not really a job, Becky. Okay, so, okay, do you wanna live in the fucking thing or do you want to drive it around? Well, if I can't fix my car, then I'll just keep it as a cottage or whatever and I'll have to get a new car, but.

Okay, so you just. You can't get a car for less than, what, 700 bucks these days? Well, you can, but the thing is, if you're just gonna get a car for less than, what, 700 bucks these days? Well, you can, but the thing is, if you're just going to get a car for driving around, you don't need a big, fucking crazy, long car that's like a gas car. Maybe we'll get you something smaller. So when you go car shopping, you're looking in the $700 range? You can usually get a pretty decent car for 700, 800 bucks, but that's a lot of money.

But, you know, new cars are fucked. Like, you're lucky if you can get a pretty decent car for 7 or 800 bucks, but that's a lot of money. But, you know, new cars are fucked. Like, you're lucky if you can even get a cigarette lighter. It's ridiculous. No ashtrays. Like, what the fuck? You know what you need? You need, like, a 1985 Volkswagen Rabbit four-door diesel. A Rabbit? It's got four doors? Four-door Rabbits?

Yeah, man. You can get those real cheap. I don't buy anything that has the name Rabbit in it. What about Rabbits do? I meant cars. You know what I think you should get? You should get a fuckin'... Like an 82 LTD. Yeah, they're pretty big.

I spent a lot of time on the cop cars. The old LTDs. Nice fucking cop cars. Yeah, that's why I picked it. I mean, you're used to the backseat of those things. Those old Malibus, the four barrels. Yeah. Those are nice cars.

Your mother had a four barrel, didn't she? Well, I owed you one. You know what, That's yeah. Well, I owed you one. You know what, that's okay, man. I owed you one. You can joke around. What was it on? I'll tell you. What? What?

What did she have the four barrel on? You know. What do you mean, you know, you were pointing down. Down there. Just kind of mounted right on the top. Yeah. Mounted right on the front. And why would it be mounted there?

What's it for? I don't know. She's got a four barrel. So she can take four on at once. If you pound it hard enough, the other two barrels open up. The other two barrels open up. She's normally just a two barrel yeah boys she really wants to bring the power yeah the two pop open well hopefully if

she ever comes back some one of these days you guys can play with the four barrel okay but she's never gonna come back, so. I don't wanna play with your mother's four barrel. Leave me. No, she'd probably be some big muscle band fucking woods woman. A woods woman. I wonder how big your mother's muscles are. She might be a fucking beast.

Yeah. She might look like Andre the Giant in a dress. I just, well, I'd like to know. Imagine what fucking his mother looks like now. I bet she looks fucking great. Anything that banged your dad didn't look great, Ricky. Well, she was a good dancer. So if she kept dancing, she might still be in pretty good shape.

That's true. A couple little operations. She's just not that attractive, man. Depends what you're into. Banging animals, maybe, yeah. Be into your mother. If you're into banging a big, like, orangutan, she'd kind of look like an orangutan.

That's not very nice. I mean, a pissed off fucking moody as it is. I remember. Did so, man. I remember Danny had a lot of questions. I'm in a pissed off fucking mood as it is. I remember. You did so, man. I remember Danny being kind of nice looking. You should be nice or I might hit you with this fucking thing. Maybe you'll make a noise like this. I'm not afraid of your hammer, man.

You should be. It's a fucking heavy duty. Troy, could you say that again, Joey? Would you fuck off, Bubs? Say that again. Look at you, man. I'm not afraid of your hammer. You're fucking quick today, aren't you? I'm not afraid of your hammer. You're fucking quick today, aren't you? I'm not afraid of your hammer, apparently.

Oh, fuck. Should I get it out? Okay, boys, I think we should get to what everybody's waiting for, which is the game show portion of it. We got to do this quick, then we're going to do jobs. I need to get my fucking car fixed. I'm going to prove that I'm the smartest person at this table, and then we're gonna do jobs.

If I remember correctly, Julian didn't even get one right last game. I got one right, all my answers were fucking right. They all should've been one. Should've been the first fucking, the top answer. You got some correct answers, but you didn't get the top answer in any category. Because if I had said those were the top answers,

I wouldn't have. in any category. Because if I had said those were the top answers I would have... Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do I'm Bubbles Treback. Where's the little buttons? Right here, Ricky. We're not using those same stupid ones, are we? Well, yeah. Is it hammer-proof? No, Ricky. Just use your fucking hand. That doesn't work. Okay, welcome to Jeopardy. I'm your host, Bubbles Treback. And let's get right to it. Well, first, let's Jeopardy. I'm your host, Bubbles Trebek. And let's get right to it.

Or first, let's meet our contestants. What's your name? My name is Ricky. I'm feeling very fucking confident, Alex. Bubbles Trebek. Bubbles Trebek. And yeah, I hope you got some easy questions there. So that Julian has a chance.

Where do you live, Ricky? Sunnyvale Tra Triller Park. Car. Very comfy. And the challenger is, what's your name, sir? It's Julian. We don't have to go through this shit, man. Let's just get the game. How's it Julian?

What's your nickname, Julian? My name is Julian. Some people call me Julian. It says on my card here that you are called the muscular ass-togger. Is that correct? That is muscular ass-togger. Is that correct? That is not correct. It's Julian.

Okay, there must be a typo on there. Julian, okay. You're fucking funny there, Trebek. So let's get right into the game. The categories are potent potables. Port, port, what? Potent potables. What's a potable?

Well, you'll see. States in song, gay 90s, Old Testament, holidays, or starts with Q. All right. Starts with Q. How do we, how does it begin? How do you do this? Did you first? Oh, fuck.

I think I picked the first one, and then whoever... So, maybe, um... Let's go with... Starts with Q. Starts with Q for 100. The question is... Klu... Klugman's coroner.

What? What? Klugman's coroner. Starts with a Q. What is it, a name? They're referring to Jack Klugman. Is that the answer? Quincy.

Fucking right. Quincy? Quincy. Fucking right. Quincy. Oh, but you should. You were supposed to form it in a... What is Quincy? Who is Quincy? Who is Quin... Ricky.

No, no, no, man. Ricky, yes. I totally fucking forgot about the question, bro. Well, that's a key component to Jeopardy. There's no way. I should get that. Pops. I'm fucking feeling good here.

You're giving that to him. It's easy. You know the rules of Jeopardy, Julian. 100 points to Ricky. I forgot about the rules, man. So, Ricky, you can pick from any of the categories. Starts with Q, holidays, Old Testament, states and song, gay 90s, Potent Potables.

I can't do Potent Potables because I don't even know what that is. Just out of fucking curiosities. Gonna have to go with Gay 90s. Gay 90s it is. And for which dollar amount,

Ricky, they get harder from $100 to $500? We may as well start with something pretty easy, no? Okay, which one then? The one, the easiest one. K90s for $100. The answer is, by 97, they had air-filled rubber tires, coaster brakes, and adjustable handlebars. What? By 97, they had air-filled rubber tires, coaster brakes, and adjustable handlebars.

Julian. Tricycles. They had air-filled rubber tires. No, they had that way before them. Yeah. No, I was right. No, you weren't. What is a bicycle? You only get one fucking chance. You only get one. You fucking blew it.

No, no, we can't. This is a full out answer. You said tricycles and you didn't ring the buzzer. The answer was bicycles. Fuck! Bicycles. you didn't ring the buzzer. The answer was bicycles. Fuck! Bicycles. That is zero for Julian. Well, it's bicycle, tricycle. What's the fucking difference? That one was pretty easy.

Let's stay in that category. We're still with Ricky. We'll stay in that category for one more. Or no, you know what? Let's go with potent portables. Potent portables for which dollar amount, Ricky? I'm going to have to say 200. I'm feeling good about this category. 200. Okay. Potent portables for which dollar amount, Ricky? I'm gonna have to say 200. Feeling good about this category.

200, okay. Potent potables for 200. The answer is, never swallowing, they sip, swish, gargle, then spit out what they sample. Hookers. Or what is a hooker? No, it's not a hooker. Never swallowing, they sip, swish...

Never swallowing, they sip, swish, gargle, then spit out what they... What is a liquor tester? Like a wine tester, man. You say... It is a hooker. Who said a hooker? See? What did you say, Julian? Like a wine tester, man. a hawker. Who said a hawker? Well, that's... See? What did you say, Julian? Like a wine tester, man.

A liquor tester. What wine tasters do. Yeah. But you didn't say... What wine tasters do. No, you... Again. What wine tasters do.

You don't get to rate any fights on Jeopardy. I don't know how to fuck... I don't watch this game. I'm giving you the answers. Well, you need to form it in the form of a question. That's fucking dumb. What wine teasers do. Ricky! What?

I did it! Ricky! Are you fucking... 200 points for Ricky. All right. He is up to... He said what a hooker does, man. Oh, yeah, right.

You were... Yeah, so we're... Fuck, you erased that. Okay. You had already said a hooker is what... Which is a better answer. ...swishes, gargles, and then spits out what they sampled. Was hooker on there?

No, there's only one answer. Oh. So that means it's still Ricky to pick the category. What do we got again? We got, Ricky, potent potables, gay 90s, states and song, Old Testament, holidays, and starts with Q. Let's go with holidays because I fucking need one right now. Holidays for which dollar amount, Richard? 300.

Holidays for 300. No. 200. You said 300. Okay, fucking Jesus. Holidays for 300. The answer is the eve of All Saints Day. What the fuck?

All Saints Day? The eve of All Saints Day. We have to give what? A day of the week? You gotta say what the eve of All Saints Day is called in the form of a question. Okay, 100. What the fuck? I don't fucking know.

What is this, like Hanukkah or something? Close, but no cigar. What is Easter? Good Friday. The answer was Halloween. Fuck off! That's not a fucking holiday. Halloween is the eve of All Saints Day. It's not a holiday. It is a holiday. It's trick-or-treat day, but you don't get it off.

Trust me, I went to school for it. Okay, Ricky, it's still you picking the categories. Let's go back to the gay 90s. The gay 90s for how much? You tell me. Let's go gay 90s for 300. All right. On March 18th, 1891,

this mode of communication was inaugurated between London and Paris. Ricky was in first. Did you say communication or transportation? Communication. The telephone. Ricky nailed it for 300. Oh shit, what is the telephone?

Ricky gets it. You were all up on giving him, like, no problem. You got it. You didn't fucking start it with a question, man. Didn't you? No, see... I did the second answer. You're just trying to fuck me over, man.

I apologize. I got it, though. You don't give a shit. Fuck. You fucked it up, Ricky, but it's still you. I don't understand how that was a gay question. I don't understand how that fits in the category of gay 90s either. But it does somehow.

Maybe a gay guy invented the telephone between London and Paris. I don't know. What category, Ricky? Do I have to pick again? Yeah. Just whatever one we haven't done yet. States in Song. Let's go with States in Song. 400. What category, Ricky? Do I have to pick again? Yeah. Just whatever one we haven't done yet. States in song. Let's go with states in song.

For 100, please. For 100. Bubbles. It's where I came from with a banjo on my knee. Where is Alabama? You said where. No, I said where is Alabama. You threw it Alabama.

Fuck you, Ricky. I got it. Julian gets 100 points. I'm done. No, you said where is Alabama? Fuck. You threw it Alabama. Fuck you, Ricky. I got it. Julian gets 100 points. I'm done. No, you're not done. I'm just on a streak here. Oh, it's tied now. Fucking Jesus. Can't quit. Let's go.

So Julian gets to check the category now. How fucking hard would you have to hit a tennis ball to turn it into dust? What is 1,400 PSI? I don't think I got that. Yeah, that was pretty good. Alright, starts with Q. Starts with Q for what dollar amount? I don't know, what do we got left here?

We got 200. 200, let's go. Starts with Q for 200. Hugo's Hunchback. Hugo's Hunchback. Hugo's Hunchback? Ricky! Oh, I fucked up. The Hunchback of Quarter Dame.

Hunchback of Quarter Dame? That is definitely not it, man. It's Hugo's Hunchback. What is Quasimodo? Julian! That fucking pulls it out in a quench. That's bullshit.

He's fucking reading it. Well, I'm not fucking reading it. He would never have fucking known that Quasimodo. I thought I was thinking of a fucked up name when Quasimodo came into my head. Shisho Shoto. Maybe you did read it when I pulled it out there, did you? I didn't fucking read it. That's why he's wearing sunglasses.

Fucking cheat. We're done with this. I do not cheat, okay? Fuck this. I do not cheat at Jeopardy. See, right now I'm fucking done because this game is making me fucking get more mad. Oh, look at this car. Ricky. Fuck off, cars.

Didn't do anything. All right, I get to pick. No, we're done. No, gonna play a different game. Cue, man. C, I get to pick. No, we're done. Julian's just picked. Nope, gonna play a different game. Q, man. Q for 300. Starts with Q for 300.

This is fucked. Fucking fuck. Are we ready, Ricky? Yeah, I'm good. Totally ready. To be or not to be? Ricky! What's the category?

No, just wait. Starts with Q. Starts with Q. To be or not to be. Quid pro to. What is quid pro to? No. What is that is the question. Is that it?

Does that start with Q? Yeah! Fuck you, Ricky. Fuck you, man. I got that straight up. I didn't cheat, nothing. Yeah, but I knew that. Is that it? Does that start with Q? Yeah! Julian fucking got it and he's a free eater either. Fuck you, man. I got that straight up. I didn't cheat, nothing. Yeah, but I knew the answer. I just didn't think there was a Q in it.

I mean, Julian's really starting to pull ahead here. I'm done. We're playing a different game. No, but Ricky, listen. You can pick a category for 500 and catch right up with one question. Yeah, except... He can't even get a 100, man. Well, gee, I believe in Ricky.

Back to categories. Of course, you're on his side. Are you going with Q for 400? Bring on Q for 400, man. I'm on a street. I'm gonna try to run the category. The $400 question. All boys, are you ready? Get your hands ready.

Fuckin' pissed off. The oldest city in Canada. Julian. What is Quebec City, motherfucker? Eat that, Ricky. Jesus, Ricky. Suck it. You suck. Really demolishing you here now, Ricky. Done.

And I assume you want Q for 400? You know what I just realized? He knows nothing about Qs, man. Nothing. Anything that has to do with the Q, he's fucked. Q104. Except for a radio station. All right, Q for 100, bubs. Q for 500? 500, let's go.

Okay, Ricky. Popular name of the Religious Society of Friends. Friends what? Friends the show? The Religious Society of Friends are called something else that starts with a Q. Religious, Ricky. Don't know religion and stuff. Religious with a Q?

Hey, hey, hey. What? Don't be fucking giving them hints. I didn't give them hints. Yeah, what's that smile on your face? I didn't give them hints. You were giving them hints. I didn't. I was wheezing.

You were wheezing. Hey, you were just... Puffs, are you fucking kidding me? Man, I could use some oatmeal right now. Oh! What is the Quakers? Suck my ass! No, see, you cheated again.

Even when you're trying to cheat, I still win. I'm done. I'm not playing. You suck, you're dumb, I'm way smarter, I am the champion. I'm just not trying, because I think the game is fucking dumb. Julian is at... 1,500. 1,500 points, and Ricky is trailing with 100 points. Yeah, but it's not a fair game.

It was cheating left and right. All right, so am I the winner? I quit after the first round, which I won. You didn't... What? Fuck... No, that was a cheat, man. I'm the one that came up the first round, which I won. You didn't win? Fuck. No, that was a cheat, man. I'm the one that came up with the answer, but I didn't have the question. Well, just wait. Technically, if he quit after the first round, then Ricky is the winner. Champion.

Returning champion next week. No, no, no, no, no, no. I had the first one right, and I just didn't have it in a fucking question form. Big fuck up on Jeopardy. I hate to tell you. Alex Trebek will tell you himself. You fucked up, bud. You said it on the show many times.

All right, let's go do some jobs. What kind of jobs? Would you quit calling them jobs? A job is something that's not illegal that you get paid to do. I need to get my car fixed, and I need to fucking get to China. So I need some money for that. You need to get to China? So I need some money for that. You need to get to China? Yeah.

For what? Remember those fucking dudes that came out with the octopus tomato fucking tree? Grew like fucking, I forget how many tomatoes. 30,000 tomatoes on it? One tree? Yeah. Now I've done it with watermelon. One fucking watermelon plant, 131 watermelons. So I need to talk to these cocksuckers about doing a fucking weed plant.

Oh, my God. Like one plant that's got... Right, because you're allowed to have one plant, right? Hmm. It doesn't matter if it grows fucking 20,000 pounds. It's still one plant. That kind of makes sense. They're missing their calling.

They have no idea. That's pretty smart, actually, Ricky. What are you talking about? You're legally allowed to have one plant? Oh, sorry, officer. I grew 150,000 buds. I can't control the fact that, you know, I grew that much dough, but it is one plant.

These guys are missing their calling. They're fucking dumb. They're totally growing weed that way right now. So you're just going to go to China, are you, and walk in and say, oh, hey. Hey, dummies. What the fuck is wrong with you guys? You're growing fucking tomatoes and watermelons, which anybody can fucking do that.

No benefit. You can have as many plants as you want. You should be growing dope. One plant. Fucking dummies. And when do you plan on leaving to go to China? Well, now I've got to fix the fucking car, so it'll be at least a couple weeks. You guys should come with me, though.

Oh, you're going to drive to China? Can you or no? It's tough, Ricky. It's real tough. It's real tough to drive to China? Can you or no? It's tough, Ricky. It's real tough. It's real tough to drive to China, I gotta tell you. Well, I don't like flying. How long would a boat take? It depends on if it's a slow boat to China or not.

Do they have trains to go there? No, that would be a submarine. I like trains. You like trains, do you a submarine. I like trains. You like trains, do you? Yeah, I like trains. Why do you like trains, Ricky? Just to clickety-clack and looking out the window

and seeing things. When were you ever on a train? Getting drunk and fucking baked and just sitting back and clickety-clack, looking out the window. Fuck. You've never been on a train before, man.

Well, I've had very realistic dreams. And it felt really fucking cool going that fast and just looking high, drunk, clickety clack, clickety clack. I was on a super train in Japan. Super train. What's a super train? 280, 300 kilometers an hour. That's impossible.

Bullet train. Well, bullet goes faster than that. Wow, it's just called a bullet train. I was on it. You know, had my head out the window. So here's something else that really fucking made me mad. Get out the fucking violence right now. This fucking cocksucker in Colorado,

Nathan, however you fucking pronounce that name, puts his kid in Colorado. Nathan, however you fucking pronounce that name, puts his kid in his fucking car, gets it up to 75 miles an hour, unbuckles his kid's seatbelt, and crashes the fucking car trying to kill the kid. That's a nice story, Ricky. I know, but I just saw that today and it made me even more fucking violent

after finding out my rear end in my car. Fucking asshole. So he did that on purpose? Yes. Well, you know what they should fucking do? They should take that guy, put him in a fucking top fuel funny car with no seatbelt, send him down the fucking track

about 300 miles an hour, right into a fucking concrete wall. That's what they should do. Works for me. I guess it happened like last week or sometime, but we just found out about it. It's bad. And did the little guy die? I don't think so, but he's not in fucking good shape. He was all fucking... had one of those neck things on in the picture

and all kinds of shit. Oh, well, fuck, man. Poor little guy. Somebody should beat the fucking piss out of that guy. All right, what about this, boys? What? Over in Norway. There's a picture right here. Yep. 300 reindeer were killed by lightning.

300. All dead. All in the fields got hit. Like, what the fuck went down there? That's machine gun lightning. Was it like a bunch of fucking bullets coming in? No, they were standing in fucking water. They huddle, right? This isn't water, man. They're like on the side of a fucking...

I know, but if they're on the damp ground, reindeer huddle, lightning hits the ground, goes... I've seen machine gun lightning. Or... That was at a fucking Triumph concert. Those were lasers. And you were on mushrooms. That was fucking awesome.

That was at Triumph. That was an awesome concert. I think it's not fucking lightning at all. I think it's aliens. Because I've been reading a lot of shit about aliens lately, and, bubs, guess what? They do exist. Oh, I've fucking been trying to tell you that for years, Ricky.

I still think I've proved it. Mathematically impossible that there's no more life out there. There's that radio signal they can't fucking explain. Yeah? Picture that shoe on Mars. Can't fucking explain that. Picture the shoe on Mars? explain. Yeah? Picture that shoe on Mars. Can't fucking explain that. Picture the shoe on Mars? Yeah.

What? There's a shoe there from some fucking battle, I think, years ago. Some guy's fucking... A shoe on fucking Mars? Ricky. Ricky, I think you read that. Put it into your smart machine and see what comes up. Shoe on Mars.

Shoe on Mars. I think he saw that. But listen to this, boys. There was 500 fucking cows stolen in New Zealand last week or the week before. Five fucking hundred cows are stolen. That's fucking merchants. Yeah. Aliens needing meat.

Yeah. They don't need our fucking oil, because whatever they have is obviously better than oil. Dylithium crystals. Way better than oil. They're fucking taking our food and maybe water. Maybe they're the ones melting all the fucking shit in Claussen, global warming. Stealing our icebergs with their big fucking iceberg ships.

Someone apparently left their shoe on Mars. Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck? That's ridiculous. Nobody left a fucking shoe on Mars. It's a hoax. What a fuck-up, though, if they were trying to keep it quiet. Like, ah, the fucking ship's taking off.

He's like, ah, fuck! Left my fucking shoe there. Fuck it. You don't wear shoes on Mars. What? You think they're out there fucking strolling around in their Reeboks? It could be like a combat boot, maybe. There's a shoe. That's a fucking rock.

It's not a shoe. It's a goddamn rock. It does look like a shoe, though. You know they fucking found, Ricky, meteors that have come from space that contain THC. What does that mean? From weed. How?

So someone's growing weed in space? There's weed in space. Definitely. I thought I was going to be the first. I want to go to Mars and start growing weed. I've got some theories myself. All right, what are the first? Aliens.

There's weed out there, right? Yeah. Jesus, Ricky. I just keep looking at this fucking thing. It reminds me of my car. My fucking asshole car. You're going my car. My fucking old car. That's going to give me a fucking heart attack. All right, I've got to try to cheer up.

So before we stop, we're going to play a new game. Okay. It's about birthdays again. You guys weren't liking the hot or not hot or handsome. Here we go. We're going to play bang or not bang. But for the guys, you've got to pretend you're a woman. So it doesn't mean anything, right?

Okay. So for the first one, I want everyone to pretend they're a woman. A young woman, I guess. His birthday today, Nick Jonas. Ricky. Juliana. Who? Juliana, that's you right now. You're a woman. Would you bang him? I'm not going to start this. Wouldiana. Who?

Juliana, that's you right now. You're a woman. Would you bang her? I'm not going to start this. Would you bang her? No, man. If you were a woman. Like a really hot woman. If I was a woman, I'd be a lesbian, okay?

That's the way I'm thinking. Okay. Florida. The rapper. Flo Rida? Flo Rida. Florida. Flo Rida. It's Flo Rida? Flo Rida. Florida. Flo Rida.

It's Flo Rida. Flo Rida. Oh, I thought he... He rides the floor. Flo Rida. I thought he was just from Florida. Bubz? You're a woman.

I'm not, though, so it's hard to process. Well, just pretending that you're a girl. I'm not a girl. I'm Bubbles. All right, I'll make it easy for you then. Amy Poehler. Would you poehler? Yes.

I think she's lovely. Yeah, she is pretty lovely. And she's funny as fuck, too. She makes me laugh. Now, I know if Julian was a woman, he would definitely bang this next one. Marc Anthony. Because remember, he would definitely bang this next one. Marc Anthony. Because remember he used to do that fucking dance?

Living the Vita Lotion. What? No, man. I never did the Vita Lotion. He will bring you down. What song are you singing? Living the Vita Lotion. No, man.

And that wasn't Marc Anthony. What's his fucking name? That was Ricky Marc. Ah, fuck. And that wasn't Mark Anthony. That was, what's his fucking name? That was Ricky Martin. Ah, fuck, that's right. What was Mark Anthony? I know you liked him too. He lived in Lovita Lotion. I've never listened

to Mark Anthony tunes, man. He has a lot of sexual songs. You like that one? Sexual songs. Sax music. When you're wearing your sax underwear. It would have been B.B. King's birthday today,

so I wanted to say that for you, bubs. David Cockerfield. Copperfield. What about him? Would you bang him? Would you, Ricky? All right, I'll just stick to the ladies. Yeah, what if you're Richelina?

Definitely. I'd bang whatever I could. Fuck it. Especially, you know, these famous celebrities. Bang the shit out of them. Okay. Molly Shannon. Yeah?

Yeah. Julian, you're going to love this one. One of your. Okay. Molly Shannon. Yeah. Yeah. Julian, you're going to love this one. One of your fucking idols. Oh, God. Mickey Rourke.

Mickey Rourke? You would bang the shit out of him if you were a girl. No, I wouldn't, man. You thought he

was the fucking man after ten and a half weeks or eight and a half weeks or what the fuck was it? Nine and a half weeks. Nine and a half months. Or eight and a half weeks. Or what the fuck was it? Nine and a half weeks. Nine and a half months.

Oh, man. No, that was a good... Kim Basinger, man. She was awesome. You did comment about Mickey a lot. What did I say about Mickey? You said, fuck, he really works out. He looks good without a shirt on.

No, I said he's fucking good with the ladies. That's what I was saying. You said he must work out, and he's got a really nice body. I didn't say that, man. I said he was fucking good with the ladies. That's what I was saying. You said he must work out and he's got a really nice body. I didn't say that, man. I said he was a smooth fucking operator. I did look up to him in that movie. He was, you know.

He was quite a machine. Mickey Rourke. All right. Is that it, Ricky? Let's go break into cars. Can you sing that song as we go out? Oh, we're supposed to mention DB... what is it? Oh, trailerparkboysmerch.com.

You fucking idiot. Go there and buy some shit, come on. I fucked up last time. trailerparkboysmerch.com. And Bumblebee Superphones. Don't you fucking break my microphone with your hammer. Which one? You'd probably like him to do something like that?

I'd like to see you try with either one. You'll get fucking Sharpie in the neck. Get stung. I'll get a Sharpie in the neck. All right, tune in next week when our guest will be Tom Selleck. Nice. Nice. Awesome. How are you pulling that together?

I don't know yet. I haven't even called the man yet. All right. So it's not for sure, but I'm going to see if I can find his number on the internet call. That's not going to happen, man.

There's no way Tom Selleck is going to do this fucking podcast. Well, then they can snip this part off if I don't get him. This part, Cash... I just want to see what happens when he's in the same room as you. This pod, Cash, is adorned.