Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 67 - DECENT Musician Colin James

Episode Date: November 4, 2016

Colin James is on the podcash and Bubbles’ bird is out of control! James plays some tunes for the Boys, shares stories about Stevie Ray Vaughan, and addresses Corey Hart rumours. Plus: The Boys weigh in on President-Elect Donald Trump! Episode 67 is brought to you by the Official Trailer Park Boys Store, and Neat 'King Bee' microphones!            

No. No. It was a fucking joint, not a cigarette. Whatever. Okay. Ricky. Fine. Ricky. What was that? Just fucking whatever. Who was it? Susan. Pissed off, said I was smoking last night.

It was a fucking joint, not a cigarette, but anyway. You were smoking all kinds of joints last night. Yeah, she thought it was a cigarette and she's pissed off. Well, you can't fuck the old dumper then, man. You can't be yourself. I told you you gotta dump her. Anyway, what are we doing? Where's this thing going? What is it?

The podcast thing. She's rolling. Alright. That's embarrassing. Let's get it started. Let's get it going. You're embarrassing. Alright, what's up, fuckers? This is the official Trailer Prep Boys podcast. It's coming at you right now. Special guest. Very exciting day. Very excited. Like. Fucking amazing. My bird's doing that.

I'm very excited. Look who's here. Fucking Canadian music, international fucking music legend Colin James is sitting right there. Fucking awesome. Yes. I'm freaking out. Because I, you know, I like to play the guitar and you're

really good at the guitar. Thank you. Has anybody ever told you that? A couple times. I bet they have. Is that how they say it? Hey, you're good on the guitar. And it's Novemberance Day, so it's kind of cool.

I don't know why we're working. It's kind of weird, but... It's what day? Novemberance Day. November 11th. Remembrance Day, Ricky. What? It. Remembrance day, Ricky. What? It's remembrance day, man.

Remembrance day. Alright, well, what? Alright, first off, we gotta talk about your haircut, man. That you just got yesterday because you knew that he was coming to town. Yeah. Nice haircut. That's not why I got it. That's exactly why you got it.

I cut my hair just like his. That's all you were talking about, man. No, I said I just wanted to trim and they cut my hair and maybe I do look like him. But that was a complete accident. If you didn't say, can you cut my hair the same length as my penis? Ricky. You're embarrassing me. Alright, I'm sorry.

Alright, well thanks for coming. This is awesome. I am so glad to be here. Don't look it. I'm just teasing you. I just like to fuck with people. So what's going on? You got a new record out. Got a new record out. I signed to a new label, True North Records here. And this is my 18th record. That's crazy. I know, I've got all 18th record. That's crazy.

I know, I've got all 18 of them. That is amazing. 18 records. Now you're in the Western Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, is that true? Western Music Hall of Fame, yes. Music Hall of Fame. Yeah.

That's pretty fucking amazing. He's not limited to rock and roll, Ricky. Well, I'm not that smart. The man has got a bigger scope than just rock and roll. I get it. Get your shit together. I'm fucking trying here. Fucking embarrassing me. 18 records.

When? First record. What year? 88. 1988. I remember that. I remember the first record. It was one of my favorite records.

It was a good one. It was a fucking real good one. We'd come around here and play the Misty Moon. I was a choked Misty Moon. Remember we went to the Misty Moon? Yeah. Remember you drank something. What did you drink that night?

Something you don't usually drink and you pissed yourself. No, man. No, no, no, no, no. It was the Zambuca thing, the flaming things. You burnt your lips. Yes, you burnt your lips. I remember now. Your lips swelled up.

I put my face on fire. Your lips were great big. That's more respectable. Yeah, well, no, it sucked. It wasn't a good thing. Yeah, remember your lips swelled right up? And they were calling you. What were they calling you?

I can't remember. Big lips, I think. Flaming lips. Great white. Flaming lips. Fuck, did you ever play with flaming lips? Nope. They're a good band.

Is that why they got their name, I wonder? I would think so, probably. So how old... you put out your first record when you were how old? 22? Wow. 22? Well, yeah, 20 maybe. We put out... first thing we put out was like just a single with one song on one and a song on the other.

But it was big. Big single. I don't know how that works. But back then we delivered, you know, by hand to different radio stations because, you know, I didn't really have much going at the time. I was just like an independent thing. Handing shit out. And then, can I ask you about, you got to go out with Steve Ray Wood. Yeah. Can I ask you about that? I guess I just did. You did? Yeah, well, it was just... How did that all, you know, how'd that come about? A bunch of fluky things all culminated in me being... I was out in Vancouver, and I was playing with a harmonica player from San Francisco named David Bergen,

and I got a call. I went back home. No, I went back home because he didn't want to use me on his record release because he thought I wasn't experienced enough. So I went back to Regina, Saskatchewan, where I'm from, just to kind of commiserate with my parents. Like, I got let go from this thing.

I was hanging around and somebody called and said, hey, would you open up for this show tomorrow night in Saskatoon? And that was it. And I had to put a band together because I didn't have a band together. So I found people I didn't even know and opened up for Steve. You just throw a fucking band together in the day and then play with Steve J. Vaughn.

Yeah. What was he like to hang out with? Was he awesome? I met him right away because we were rehearsing in a room around 5 o'clock or 6 o'clock at night before the show. The show started at 8.

And Stevie came busting in the room and said, is this what I hear is true, that you guys have never met each other? And I said, yeah. And we opened up the show and I broke a bunch of strings right away. Back then I had no guitar techs or no gear with me but one

guitar. And no people working for me. So I hid behind the stack of speakers after I broke two strings and I just looked around to Stevie's people and went, what do I do? And then his guitar tech came out with one of Stevie's guitars. What?

That's crazy. But didn't tell me that Stevie tuned E flat, because I didn't know that. So I kicked in a shuffle in E with the band, and it was like cacophony, because I was a semitone away from everybody. So then you had to adjust. Then we adjusted, but it was fantastic,

and I got a review that night, but they thought I was another band called The Dice, so I got a review under someone else's name completely. Oh, and he put his hand in Vice Gladden. Maybe they thought you were The Dice, you never know. Which guitar of Stevie's not THE guitar, not the fucking SRV? Over the different times, I used a few different of it, but I never used that one I don't think.

It was usually the colorful ones. There was a yellow one. And a white one that I ended up playing a couple times. But yeah, it was amazing. I remember I met you years ago and you showed me how to string a guitar that Stevie Ray Vaughan's Guitar Tech showed you how to do. And I still do that. Is that right? Fucking right. So that was the thing where you... You go under and you wrap her around and then it locks itself in and you give her a little tug.

That was obviously back when I was changing strings because I'd be hard... You showed me that and I still do that to this day. Fantastic. How's your bird, bubs? Oh, it's up there. So I wanted... So this new record, tell me about the new record.

You know, I've always played blues, but over the years I've kind of made records that are, you know, a bit of rock, a bit of blues. Big band. I love the big band records. And I always wanted to make, you know, it seemed like the right time just to make a straight blues record. So this time the band was touring across Canada last year, and the band was tight,

so we said, why don't we go in and do two days at Brian Adams' Warehouse Studios. Cool. Beautiful studios. And we just went and said, let's do a bunch of blues, and we recorded it live, and that's the new record. Live off the floor? Yeah, everything the band played on was all done right there. And then I went back and worked on it a bit.

But, yeah. Holy fuck. That is awesome. It's exciting because it's, you know, Fonny put a straight blues record out and people seem to be digging it. It's weird because I was available through that whole time. I could have gone, if somebody had called me, I would have came out. Bubbs, you're not that great, though.

You're pretty good, but he's in a different league, right? Oh, yeah, Ricky, but I mean, I could have played with him. You played in bands. Oh, I've, you know, I got Bubbles and the Shitrockers going. Right now, I've played with Alex Lyson from Rush. Perhaps you've heard of him. How long did you spend on the name, The Shitrockers? Oh, not that long. It just came to me. You were wasted.

I was wasted. I was wasted. Honey oil? Do you wanna... Do you think... Maybe you could play us a... Play us a tune? Sure. Sure. Right on.

Fucking wicked. Uh... Probably lost. There it is. Look. Keep the greener under control. It's under control. Oops. He's under control. Okay.

Oh, is that it? Is that it? Oh baby Won't you ride in my automobile Oh baby, won't you ride in my automobile? Oh baby, won't you ride in my automobile? Cause you ride so easy, driver how good it makes you feel. Oh baby, won't you ride with your daddy tonight? Oh baby, won't you ride with your daddy tonight? Cause you ride so easy while the moon is shining bright

Well it's kinda getting hard baby I'm going from door to door I look at you right now I will never be back no more Cause I used to be down Baby now I'm You can tip your hat at me son You can call me Mr. Love

Alright me son you can call me miss all right Oh baby, don't be wasting my time away Alright Oh baby, don't be wasting my time away I wanna ride with you darling Honey, till the break of day I wanna ride with you honey Baby till the break of day Yeah.

That was fucking awesome. That was fucking awesome. Thank you. Easy. Ah! Ricky. Just trying to make some noise. That was fucking amazing.

Thank you. That was amazing. Is that on the new record? Yes. It is. Fucking awesome. Check that out. I think it got added to Spotify today on the acoustic blues thing.

Nice. We don't have that, but I'm going to get it. Spotify. That was fucking amazing. All right. Very excited. Very excited. All right, keep it together, buffs.

I'm all right. All right, so do you guys want to talk about some stuff here that I found? Depends what it is. Is it dumb or... I got a good idea. Okay. It says here these rich Chinese bachelors are touring Siberia in search of beautiful brides. You go over there, you can get married.

I say the three of us go over there and check it out. For free? Well, you gotta pay a thousand bucks each. How much? A thousand bucks. That's it? Yeah. Jesus.

To go to Siberia? Yeah. Fuck. Jesus. To go to Siberia? Yeah. Fuck would I want to go to Siberia? It's like this crazy success rate. I think that we should check it up. You gotta stay there or you just take them with you? They can come back. Have you ever played in Siberia? No.

No, I can't imagine there's a good blues scene there. It's kind of like marrying a hooker though, isn't it? No, man. No, no, no. It's nothing like that. It's probably where... It's probably where Trump gets his... Oh, he's probably... What do you think of that ass clown? Oh, Lord. He's unbelievable.

Yeah. Un-fucking-believable. Yeah, quite a thing. You like him, don't you? Nothing to even say about it. It's so fucked. You liked him. don't you? Nothing to even say about it. It's so fucked. You liked him? Yeah.

You like his hair. You always... I like certain things about him, but certain things I don't like. What don't you like, Ricky? I can't say. Well, you've got some stuff down there. No, not too much. It's Leo DiCaprio and Ardo's birthday.

And Demi, or Demi Moore. Whose birthday? Leo DiCaprio Nardo's birthday. And Demi, Demi or Demi Moore? Whose birthday? Leo DiCaprio Nardo. I don't think that's his name. Did you ever hear of that guy? Leo DiCaprio Nardo. Is he any relation to Leonardo DiCaprio? No idea.

He's a famous fucking actor, boys. You know who he is. Yeah, I know who he is. You think he's hot. Ricky, I don't think he's hot. I said he's a good looking fella. That doesn't mean I think he's hot. Same fucking difference, isn't it? No. Alright. It's not.

You ever banged a bottle, Bugs? What? Well, this guy used a bottle as a sex toy, and he had to have his penis amputated. What? Poor fucker. Yeah, he was banging a bottle, I guess, which is kind of weird. And he got embarrassed, didn't want to go get help,

so he left it on there for a few days, and the fucking thing turned black and had to be removed. It turned black? Yeah, it died. His bird died? Yep. Poor fucker, man. Oh, my God.

That's a famous drink in Siberia, though, if you can put alcohol into that bottle. Really? With his severed penis. Why wouldn't he just, you know... I mean, after a day, you might as well just take a hammer and say, well, fuck it, and smash it. Take the cut.

Take the cut? Instead of the cut off. Can you bleed it off from your penis somewhere and say, well, fuck it, and smash it. Take the cut. Take the cut? Instead of the cut off. Can you bleed it off from your penis? Oh, man, big time. Yes, Ricky, of course you can. So what's he got now? He's just got a smooth can bump. I guess, yeah.

He's just got a can bump. Like Ken and Barbie. You know how Ken's just got that smooth hump. Everyone seems to have that. Yeah. Yeah, he should have just smashed it off or if it was plastic you could have melted it off i guess and took the burn but ricky plastic i think he probably could have got it off there's other options just letting the thing die but anyway do we know

like that another one doesn't grow yes we do science science has determined. Science has proven this? Yes, science has determined. You never know. It's like a clam or whatever that, something that has something that grows back. Clam? What's a clam have that grows back, Ricky? Must be the little pee hole thing that sticks in it, maybe. That gets cut off. So maybe it does grow back. No, it doesn't, Ricky. I was thinking about a salamander. The tails, if you rip them off, they grow back. They do? Yeah, man.

I thought that was a newt. Or a newt, whatever the f... They're all the same, aren't they? I don't know. How high are you two? I don't know. What was that we smoked anyway? I don't know, but I don't ever want to smoke again. This was not a good day for that, Ricky.

No shit. I feel like going to sleep. You guys are fucked. I'm feeling extra dumb today now. I'm just trying to keep it together. Jesus, Murphy. Well, that was fun. What do you mean that was fun? Let's go to bed.

No, we're not going to bed yet. I want to keep talking to Mr. James here. About the music. Hey, so I, you know, I always wanted to go out on tour. You know, like in a rock band. What's the craziest fucking thing you ever witnessed? You know, I always wanted to go out on tour, you know, like in a rock band. What's the craziest fucking thing you've ever witnessed on the road? That you can talk about.

Well, I mean, this isn't that crazy, but it was actually out east here. I walked on Guns N' Roses' bus by mistake. Did you? Because we both had buses at the same hotel, I just kind of walked in and I'm looking around and they said, we don't think this is your bus. And I had to excuse myself. This is not crazy, it's crazy. Who was there?

I know Axl Rose. He was not there. He wasn't there because he probably would have freaked out and said, get the fuck off my bus. Yeah, no doubt. Who are you? The real Guns N' Roses or the guys pretending to be Guns N' Roses after? I don't know, you know. I think it was, well, it might have been... What year was it?

Like six, seven years ago. Oh yeah? When did Stash leave? Geez, I might have been on that bus. You never know. Was I? I know, yeah, I bet you I was. I think it was in, was it Moncton? Yeah.

Something like that. And then they came here. Yeah. I was on the fucking bus! You didn't save me. I got kicked off the bus. You should have saved me. Jesus, Murphy, I didn't see you get on, but I was on the bus that day when they played here.

So basically you're an asshole. Yeah. Who? You. Didn't help them. Maybe you couldn't see me. I maybe just didn't notice you. I see perfectly fine, Ricky.

How many fingers? Those are two other things. They're not fingers. I'm not sure exactly what they are, but I know they're not fingers. All right. I saw you pick something up. Yep.

You win. Doesn't mean I can't see. That can't be the craziest story ever. Crazy stories on the road. Something you witnessed. You can't talk about those, though. Holy fuck. I'm trying to think of like a crazy, of crazy roads. I mean, it's how you're working on the road. Something you witnessed. You can't talk about those, though. Holy fuck. I'm trying to think of, like, a crazy road. I mean, it's how you're working on the road.

It's crazy. It's nothing crazy. No one's ever, like, died on stage that I've witnessed. No. Or been severed. No severed heads. No. Yeah, that'd be crazy.

That would be crazy. That would be crazy. Did you ever see somebody get their finger cut off? No. No? Why would you ask him that? I don't know. A roadie had a...

Actually, a roadie years ago got a bit of a finger cut off on a roadie. See? See, if you tour long enough, you will see somebody get their fucking finger cut off. Have you? No, because I haven't really, you know, been in rock bands and stuff like that. But I've heard stories.

I've heard stories about people getting their old hands cut off. Is there any truth to the rumors that you and Corey hired the same person? Ricky. Well, that's what people were saying back in the day. Why are you out of your mind? But he's putting out two different styles of music, and that's why he wore sunglasses. So you think he fucking rips off fucking blues albums, and then he goes out and sings sunglasses at night for fun?

I don't know. That's just what I heard. But it's kind of like Leon Redbone and Guido Father Sarducci. Remember those? I do. Yeah. They often thought they were the same people. They weren't, right? No. No. But... At least I...

Guido Sarducci did look a lot like him. Mm-hmm. And I believe he pretended to be him. All right, so not true. That's good to know. Ricky, you could have just asked me. I could have told you that. OK, well, I mean, they're both good-looking dudes.

I've never met Corey Hart, so we've never been in the same place at once. So I guess I could have an alter ego. That sounds a bit fishy. That sounds fishy. Never been in the same room, eh? I don't think so. Two Canadian musicians. I'm pretty sure I've never been in the same area.

Oaktour for years. Never been in the same room. I've never been in the same room as... Conspiracy theories. Ricky, it's not a conspiracy theory. He's just teasing you. No. You believe in every fucking conspiracy theory.

Most of them are true, that's why. No they're not, Ricky. That's why they're called theories. What is a theory, though? Well, do you want the scientific definition or the... 99% of theories become truth, don't they? I reckon I don't want to get into this. You're way off. It's very... It's gonna make your head...

Oh, you know what? You want to fucking get your mind blown? You know what the fucking scientists just discovered? I can get something blown. What? Do you know about the galaxy fucking... More, there was more universe than they thought. Oh, you want to hear something freaky, Ricky? All right.

Scientists just proved there's two trillion more galaxies than they thought there was. How many do they think there were? Like a hundred billion. So there's way more than that. They thought there was a hundred billion. So there's way more than that. They thought there was a hundred billion. There's two trillion more. How much more is that, though?

Ricky, you can't even wrap your head around it. Every one of those galaxies has hundreds of billions of stars. Yeah, I can't really think about that right now. I might blow up. Your head might pop off like a daisy. Yeah, just explode, combust. Hey, do you think, do you want to rep off another song for us here? One more song? Could you do that?

You don't have to, I'm not forcing you, but fuck, it would be awesome. I guess so, I'm trying to think what I would play though. What if I just played a little rhythm-y part and you just- Could you? Played a fucking solo, like crazy solo. I was wondering why you brought that fucking thing up. I brought that fucking guitar. C minor.

C minor. That's very complicated. Good work for me. You better pop some chords this second. Cool one for me. Got it, Bob. What's that chord? I don't even know. It's a five chord. The very first rose that you learned in school Is that you shouldn't try to fool the people you're close to Now you're finally more grown I really should have known If I left you on your own

Wouldn't do like you're supposed to Why'd you lie? I don't want to hear your alibi Don't want to know your reasons why You left me in a cry While you were out there loving him And now you're acting real nice Mr. Sugar and Spice

You are out of throwing your dice Your chances are real slim Why'd you lie? We're going to the four Gotta make a correction Cut out this deception Start treating me right We had disgusted

Till I was disgusted There's one thing that I got to say All about crawling in another man's bed Why'd you lie? All about crawling in another man's bed Why'd you lie? Why'd you lie, babe? Take one? Don't think we're good, don't think we're good Don't think we're good

Don't think we're good Right on, such a good one I thought we were just gonna go... Oh, yeah, well... And that's not what anybody wanted to fucking act. Well, let's do that too then. And I racked it. I'm walking

Yes, I'm walking Oh, that's the wrong one. Well, I'm walking All by myself. I hope you understand. I just want to be your loving man. Well, I love you. Yes, I love you, yes, I love you

All my heart and soul I wouldn't mistreat you for my way, no You know that I love you You know it's true. Give you all of my love and what more can I do? I'm walking all by myself. I hope you understand. I just want to be your loving man. guitar solo I'm playing the call of James.

See that, Ricky? See that? Yeah, I see it. Just leave it alone. Okay, boys, I got to actually... I better get out of here. Why, what's going on? Well, just see it. Just leave it alone. Okay, boys, I gotta actually... I better get out of here. What's going on? I'll just, you know, whatever.

No idea. I just have to do nothing. I just... I'm gonna take off. All right, I gotta mix a drink. Callin' James. That was fuckin' awesome. Thanks, man.

Be in here. Awesome. Callin' James. Go get the record. What's the record called? Blue Highways. Blue Highways. Call Awesome, man. Go get the record. What's the record called? Blue Highways. Blue Highways. Colin James.

Go get the fucking thing. It's amazing. You know, man. Okay, let's go. Let's get out of here quick.