Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 69 - The Summer of Sixty-Nining

Episode Date: November 25, 2016

Long-time Sunnyvale resident Marguerite joins the Boys for the Black Friday edition of the podcash, just before the Boys ship off for their European tour! Learn a shocking revelation about Marguerite and Ricky’s father, and hear about the time Ricky met Bryan Adams. Episode 69 is brought to you by the Official Trailer Park Boys Store, and Neat 'King Bee' microphones!        

What time did you start drinking this morning? It's none of your fucking business. Well, no, how many beer have you had today, Bubbs? None of your business. And I've had three or four fucking drinks. Christmas is a month away. Like, you're not going to start drinking this much. We've got a lot of fucking work to do.

We've got some money to make here. We don't have to blame it on the booze. You can't be drinking this goddamn coffee. It's likely to take the barnacles right off your hull.

Where did he get that? I want a fucking beer. Give me a beer. Okay. You're getting a goddamn beer. Chill the fuck out, Margaret, here,

tearing a fucking strip off of us. Fuck. Yeah, look at that. Fuck's sake. Julian, I seriously... There he goes goes. Oh yeah, big try. Just give me a second, Marguerite. Jesus Christ.

The whole thing's gone here, eh? This is the podcast. There you go, here. Cheers, Marguerite. Gracias. For the record, I don't give a fuck if you're LB, PG, or IRF, all right? We're still going to be friends.

What the hell is that? LGBT? What the fuck are you talking about, man? What are you talking about, Ricky? Just the whole him and Randy thing. Oh, man, don't even get into this shit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Julian?

Yeah. He's doing that stuff with Randy? I don't know what's going on, but I'm just telling him I don't give a fuck what he is. He's cheap labor. That's who he is. I don't even pay him. He thinks he's going to get a paycheck. He's not going to get one.

I'm going to get him a burger here and there, and he's happy. I'm paying him other ways, Eric. Oh, gee, bubs. What the fuck is this little doop-de-doop? He got you there. No, he didn't get me there, Martin. All right, can we start this fucking podcast? All right, yeah, okay.

Enough of that, pups. All right, what the fuck's going on, everybody? This is the official Trailer Prep Boys podcast. It's coming at you right now. One month from Christmas. What number is it? It's number what, 71? Nope, it's a fucking great number.

Yeah. 69. Right on. fucking great number. Yeah. 69. Right on. Yes, buddy. Yep. That's a great number. Why is that a great number? I don't get it.

It's just, it's like a six and a nine. You could flip it upside down. See, that's why you and me aren't lovers. I'm sure you could get in there with me if you wanted. Didn't Ryan Adams have a song about the summer of that year? I'm sure you could get in there with him if you wanted. Didn't Ryan Adams have a song about the summer of that year? That bears a scratch. Ryan Adams.

Ryan Adams, Brian Adams. Oh yeah, he sings. He had the Summer of 69 song. Yeah. Yeah. The summer he was 69 in. What? Summer I was 69 in. There's no nine in, it's I was 69.

There's no nine in. It's summer of 69. Yeah. No, he's not talking about 69 in, man. No. Well, he wasn't allowed to say that on the radio, but that's what he meant. How the fuck do you know that's what he meant? I met him once at a... Oh, you didn't meet Brian Adams.

At a bathroom at a concert. Oh, go away. You met Brian Adams at a bathroom. It was at his concert. He had a piston mill to show. Yeah, I had a girlfriend that had an affair with him. You had a girlfriend that had an affair with Brian Adams? Yeah, yeah.

No way. Yeah, yeah. What did she say about him? She said he was a real gentleman from top to bottom. Really? All right. That's what she says. Did she bang Brian Adams?

Yeah, that's what she told me. She could have been lying, but I don't think. Wow. She's what she says. Did she bang Brian Adams? Yeah, that's what she told me. She could have been lying, but I don't think. Wow. She's not the type. See, I believe that. I don't believe what you're saying, Ricky. You did not meet Brian Adams, man. You met him in a bathroom at his own concert before the encore.

Yeah, and he couldn't hold it. So he went to the public washroom to take a piss. Yeah, and then we started talking about music, and that's what he was saying. He goes, fuck, I wish I could have said the words that I wanted to put in that song, but... Yeah, that's okay. The record company shut it down. Ricky.

So you were having a conversation standing in a urinal with him. And he didn't wash his hands, by the way, before the encore. So right before his encore, there's 25,000 people out there going, Brian, looking for... He's in the public bathroom talking to you about it. No, no, I snuck backstage because I had to piss bad

And I wasn't gonna make it to the public bathroom. Oh, so you were in his dressing room. I could believe it sneaking back there. Well not his dressing room, but it was close by his dressing room. He smells nice. Well, see there you go, eh? What does Brian Adams smell like Ricky? Just like a, he has a really nice manly kind of a mask cologne. Well there you go, see he's turning isn't he? You could tell it wasn't cheap. Did you take a look at his unit when you were messing with him?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, because it had that stupid divider up there. So you tried. You tried. I didn't try. I mean everyone's curious. He's a celebrity, right? You gotta know what he's packing, but. Just because he's a celebrity, you want to see his beard? He says you gotta know what he's packing, just because he's a celebrity you want to see his bird he says you gotta know what he's packing so he has to know all celebrities you got to check out the package

have you ever seen another celebrity's bird uh joe thornton joe thornton the hockey player yeah oh my god i saw his bird too didn't i i forgot about that we were in the dressing room after locking me. He's not fucking around. No, he's got a bit of a mallet on him, doesn't he? He's going to be happy that you guys mentioned that. Anyway, I'm not sure how we started talking about this. We're glad to tell that to the world. It started with the 69, and then we got on to penises. Joe Thornton's massive mallet. Stick with us, and God knows what you'll find out, eh?

Jesus Christ. So, am I supposed to read this out from the fucking sponsor? Who's the sponsor again? Those fucking idiots? SwearNet? The SwearNet Merch. What the fuck is it now? I forget. You guys are big out of your fucking mind aren't you? Big to the little drums. It's a month before Christmas. Who the fuck is the sponsor? Because I don't have that down here. It's usually the merch people, isn't it? Just go to the Trailer Perk Boys site and fucking, you know, click merch.

Oh, I'm supposed to read this, though. Today, free shipping plus 10% discount coupon on orders. I can't fucking understand this shit. It's fucking free shipping all weekend, I guess, for Black Friday week, whatever the hell that is. Oh. Okay, yeah, it's this weekend. It's today. Black Friday. Go to the hell that is. Oh. Okay, yeah, it's this weekend. It's today. Black Friday.

Go to the fucking website. There's a big strike at a steel plant in Sydney they called it Black Friday. I don't know what the fuck that was called. Who gives a fuck, Marguerite? Go to the fucking website. Go to Merge site, the Merge part. Buy some shit, free shipping.

It's gonna make us some money. Oh, but wait. We did get some points on this shit, guys. Next week, the craziness continues. Monday, November the 28th, save 25% off Drinco Game. Wow. Tuesday, November 29th, 25% off Flask. Wow, that's really fucking fantastic.

And Wednesday, 25% off Travel Mugs. Thursday, 25% off the fucking calendars. Now, I said it, fucking Jesus. Yeah. I'm sick of people getting me to say shit like that. It's fucking dumb. Buy that shit, okay? What?

It's the sponsors and you're a horrible salesperson. How do you do that? Yeah, that's true. You're not, you should not be selling anything, Ricky. You're a terrible salesman. Except for weed. The only thing you're good at selling is that. Well, you don't have to sell that.

People want it. That's it. Everybody wants weed. Yeah, that's right. You could sell that to, geez, I don't know, an aphid. A what? An aphid. You know, that goes on a leaf and eats it. I said you could sell an aphid weed. Everybody likes it.

The fuck is an aphid? An aphid is a little bug that eats leaves. Well, he probably eats weed. I told you I was smart. You wait. I'm going to clean everybody's carpet. We didn't even introduce. This is Marguerite.

You guys, she's from the park, you know. Marguerite lives in the park. You've been in the park how many years? She's going on 22 now. That's why I'm crazy. Wow. And she's a little fucking better in shape because I almost burnt her trailer down. She's been growing some hydroponic vegetables for us.

And the wiring got a little fucky. I think it was Bubba's fault, even though I didn't... Ricky! Bullshit! I didn't even touch the fucking wires. Anyway, it didn't really burn the trailer down. One room was a little affected, so we'll clean it up. We'll fucking fix the fucking wiring.

No, I'll tell you, here was the argument. Ricky's trying to splice the wires together, okay? You got white and white, okay? and black yeah red and red and then green and green but this red had green paint on it so ricky said that green goes to this green over here but it was a red wire green paint he was convinced that somebody painted it green because it went to the green wire. And I told him that was wrong, and he wired it up, and guess what? Fire. It worked for two days almost.

Until it got hot enough and then fucking caught everything on fire. Why would you think that? Because it was painted. That's the color that it goes to. Why would you paint it green unless it's supposed to be fucking green? If it was supposed to be red, you should have left the fucking thing red. Maybe some paint just dripped on it. Well, we know how dumb he is.

I told him when I got the room renovated I was going to become the trailer parking medium with a specialty in advice to the love lord. And what does he say? He said, great idea, Marguerite,

but why go for medium? They're small, medium, and large. Why don't you should be a large? He doesn't have a fucking clue, Marguerite. He doesn't get it. He doesn't know.

I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. But, you know, I don't think you should be... You better He doesn't have a fucking clue. He doesn't get it. He doesn't know. I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. But you know, I don't think you should be. Better watch it. That's all I'm saying. OK. Watch what?

Just everything she's saying. Keep a track of it all. We're trying to go legit. If you want to help us fucking grow some things legally, make a few dollars, then just stop fucking complaining. Marguerite. Who's smarter, Cory, Jacob, or Ricky? I think that beer.

Give us a one, two, three. That beer says it all, but who's fucking smarter here? This is a tough one. This is a tough question. Oh, this is really a tough one. Oh, my God. Three peas in the pot. Let's see.

Maybe Jacob. He's slow as coal molasses, but he gets there in the end. So you think he's the smartest? Well, the other two are like, well, you know, bye. Wow, Jacob's the smartest. I thought it was pretty funny when you stabbed Corey with the nail clippers. That was pretty awesome. That was pretty funny.

I actually thought he was going to get, oh, never mind. You thought he was going to get a piece of action. I thought he was going to get some 69. No, no way. He thought he was going to get a piece of action. He thought he was going to get some 69. No, no way. Instead he got stabbed. Well, there's rumors that you and my dad maybe had a little bit of that going on, but I don't even want to talk. I heard that you and Ray had some shit going on.

Years ago. She's singing, Ricky. You know what that means. That means a big yes. My dad had been anybody. We're not, no, no, no. She's singing, Ricky. You know what that means. That means a big yes. My dad would name anybody. We're not saying anything. Oh, man. I will not disperse the reputation of another person.

Okay, how drunk were you in a one to ten? No, fucking loaded. I heard you were pretty dirty back then. Dirty mind. Well, it's a 69 podcast. Just before we get talking about 69s again, you guys said that I've always wanted to fight a shark, and you guys always said if I fought a shark,

I'd probably get my ass fucking kicked. Well, guess what? A guy did it and killed the shark. He won the fight. He got charged. He got charged? For punching the shark, yeah. No, he fucking did.

So what, are you talking about a pool shark? It was a protected species. He fucking killed it. What kind of shark was it? A hammerhead. A hammerhead. A hammerhead. He beat a hammerhead to death? He kind of cheated though.

First he caught it. He beat it with a hammer, didn't he? He caught it on a line and brought it into the beach and then he fucking put his arm around it and just started beating the fuck out of it. He did it mercifully. Oh, for fuck's sake. That's it. He beat a shark to death.

He said he tried to. And then he got a picture of a fucking kid on top of the shark, and then he tried to revive the shark, the shark was dead, and then he got charged by the fucking... How did he try to revive it? He threw it in the water. He didn't try to give it CPR. He's fucking done, I guess.

But my point is, I could fight a shark. I wouldn't beat it to death, but I would knock it out and... Ricky. Ricky. It's possible. You guys always said it wasn't, and there's fucking proof. Well, of course it's possible if you drag him it wasn't And there's fucking proof

Of course it's possible If you drag him up on land By his fucking lip Yeah And then pound the pests out of him Yeah, yeah See, well that just shows What the shark's weakness is

If a shark does bite you You should fucking grab him Right through the gills And just drag him up to the beach Say, now we're fucking fighting A fair fucking fight here, bud Yeah Ricky, it's not fair

He's out of water Right, but he started in the water It wasn't fair to me Why the fuck would you want to fight a fair fucking fight here, but... Ricky, it's not fair. He's out of water. Right, but he started in the water. It wasn't fair to me. Why the fuck would you want to fight a shark? It just doesn't, like, that's weird, man. You're in his territory, so he's coming after you. So when you drag him up in your territory, he's out of water.

At least it's a fair fight. He's got his own water, yeah. I mean, usually when you get in a fight with someone, you're pissed off and you want to crack the person, but why do you want to do it to a shark? Yeah, exactly. Because I'm bored of fighting people. It's fucking lame. Oh, that's true, too.

And I can pull out a fucking handgun and just shoot the shark, but that's not fair to the shark, so... No. Well, neither is dragging him up on the sand and pounding the piss out of him. I'll keep the fight in the water until it gets, if he gets too much of me, And then it's like, okay, I've got to fucking get a few shots in here. And then we'll go back to the water after I get a few in there. So what if it's a great white? Oh, I'm not fighting a great white. They're fucking dangerous. They're all fucking dangerous, man.

So what would you fight? You'd fight a nurse shark, I'm sure. I'd definitely fight a hammerhead after hearing this. You'd fight a nurse shark. One of those. I'd like to see that. I'd fight a bonnethead. I'd fight a hammerhead and just throw him in the water and see what the fuck happens. I'd fight a leopard shark. One of those... I'd like to see that. I'd go and find a hammerhead

and just throw him in the water and see what the fuck happens. I'd fight a leopard shark. Leopard shark? I'd fight a fucking... Oh, yeah, one of their tiny little fuckers. I've been researching these fucking things. A sand shark, a lemon shark.

I'd fuck with one of those. Well, sand sharks are no bigger than us. You know, they could lay on this table. It's about the size of a... That's little. ...catch, I guess. Rick, you should probably maybe start working on maybe beating Randy in fights before you move on

to a fucking great white shark. He's a fucking whale, not a shark. Well, I know, but he's a manatee. He's got sharp teeth. Who does? Randy bit me on the fucking shoulder when we were like 12 or 13. Yeah.

Mm. I remember that. I remember that. I remember that. Yeah. You put toast and peanut butter in his ass crack. Doctors remove wedding ring from man's penis. Mm-hmm. What?

Yeah. It was around his penis or inside? 20-year-old South African man. No, he put the wedding ring around his penis to try to use it as a cock ring. Oh. Big fuck up. I'll tell you. He must, he either.

When did it fall off? He either has fucking big fingers or. I'm just saying. A little. Or a tiny cock. Yeah, right. I mean, you're. Yeah, I mean, that's.

And when did it fall off? That's not a very big erect penis right there. No. No. So he had to go to the hospital and they couldn't cut the fucking thing off. They were trying to use a surgical saw

and it was a nightmare anyway. Cut his penis off? No, the ring. It was just going to cause more damage. They had to fucking inject syringes into his penis

and take the blood out to get the ring off. What a nasty fucking experience. They had to deflate it. Suck the blood out. Somehow. Deflate it. So there's,

if you ever get married, Julian, don't put your wedding ring on your penis. It wouldn't stay on, it would fall right off. That is real funny. You guys are fucked. Yes, sir. So that's a couple penis stories you have there, Ricky. What did you search on the internet to get those?

I just searched weird. Penis stories. Weird stories or weird news. Weird news? Yeah. Good search. What's this one? Weird shit came up.

What's this one here? Man convicted of using Cheetos to try and burn down his ex's home. That's fucking pretty smart. That could actually work, you know. You could rub two french fries together and that would make some kind of a fire or explosion. You can't start a fire. Rubbing french fries together. Doritos and all that shit does light on fire.

There's so much shit in there. Yeah, sure. But, like, if you rub them together, I'm sure, because they're not food. They must be something else. Rub a french fry. Would that work? There's no way you can rub two french fries together and start a fire, Mark.

I disagree. French fry. It's certainly not food anyway. If they were hard enough, it would be like a stick. It would make fiction. Eventually you'd have smoke and probably a flame. What would it make? Fiction. Fiction.

Oh. Fiction, yeah. Fiction. Make-believe. So what was his plan? He was gonna fucking leave a bowl of Cheetos on the table?

No, she was inside and he jammed Doritos in several spots. So he tried to kill her. Oh yeah, he was trying to kill her. She was still in the house. He put Doritos in several spots. So he tried to kill her. Oh, yeah, he was trying to kill her. She was still in the house. He put Doritos around several spots,

put a propane tank up against the house and lit the Cheetos and then ran. Jesus Christ, that's hardcore. Cops got there. They pulled the tank away before she caught fire and blew up, and they caught him 100 yards away with... Sitting in a lawn chair drinking, laughing his fucking head off, probably. probably located about 100 yards away from the home with two lighters in his

pocket and an empty bag of cheetos what a fucking idiot yeah well and with his fingerprints all over everything he was sitting there waiting for it to he's gonna watch him there's a serious fuck up right there no it isn't, man. Okay. Who is it? Oh, it's just something. Don't leave a message. Randy? Just something I got on the go, boys.

What do you mean, something you got on the go? It's a busy time of the year, bubs. I'm going to fucking probably get a bunch more calls during this podcast. It's fucking Randy, wasn't it? That was Randy, wasn't it? Wondering if you're still on for your date. Still on for my date. Boys, he's working for me.

I'm ripping him off. Hey, Julian, you want to come over and have a salt bath? Yeah, real funny, Ricky. What's a salt bath? Isn't that romantic? I don't know. That Randy gets around. I'll tell you, he does.

Randy, like, Randy's a disgusting human being. Yeah, you got it. Do you have any stories about Randy? Like, I mean, one thing people usually say to us when they meet us, they're like, hey, is Leahy really that much of a drunk? Yeah. I'm like, he's way worse. Like, stuff they put on camera,

he does way fucking crazier things off camera, because he's drunk all the time. Do you agree with me? Yes, I do. Okay, there you go. He is a fucking drunken maniac. That fucker is face down in the gutter no matter where. What's the craziest thing you've ever seen him do drunk? Oh, Jesus.

Do you remember the time he lit all those fireworks in his underwear by accident? I remember the time he was painted purple or blue or something. Wow, Randy really wants to come for that bath. Randy's looking. Water must be getting cold in the tub. Randy, I'm doing a fucking podcast. Oh, here's Randy.

Fuck off. Oh. Yeah. The water's getting cold in the tub. That was him that time. Yeah. What are you talking about? He's got the bathroom.

The hot tub's turning cold is what they're saying. Do you remember your first 69, Julian? My first 69? I'm not going to talk about that on camera. First 69 what? You know, the thing where. Oh, God love you, dear. Things line up.

It's a good thing you like cats. I was 16 and she was 19. It was pretty cool. She taught me some shit. It was really nice. OK, I remember one earlier than that. Earlier? Grade seven, gym. You and remember one earlier than that. Earlier? Grade 7, gym, you

and Ronnie Melvin, wrestling. What? Full on 69. We were wrestling, man. That was not a six. There's a big difference, man. Like, that kind of a fucking move than getting into a 69 with someone. Well, it could have easily gone to the next level. Holy fuck!

Hey, let me see the text message you sent. No, no, no. Let me see the text message. He's got some shit. I just saw it said, it said bathtub in it. I saw the word bathtub. Just a second. All right, that wasn't Randy. Prove it.

It was somebody else. It's about the Christmas tree thing that we're doing this year. Christmas tree thing? The thing we do every fucking else. It's about the Christmas tree thing that we're doing this year. Christmas tree thing? The thing we do every fucking year. Let's just get this going. Yeah, yeah. Julian and Randy

up a tree. E-A-N-G-I-N-G. Stop doing 69, one, two, three. Real funny, guys, okay? Okay, okay, okay. That's enough of this shit. All right, fuck off.

All right, we'll stop talking about it. Yeah, yeah. That sort of stuff. What the hell? All right, there was one, there was a fucking story here I wanted to talk about. You guys know that show, Home Makeover? No. Yes, Home Makeover. Well, you know, people say that I'm a greasy person,

which sometimes maybe I am because I'm, it's about survival. Sometimes you gotta be greasy. Yes. This fucking family down in Sometimes maybe I am because I'm, it's about survival. Sometimes you got to be greasy. Yes. This fucking family down in North Carolina, they called up the show. They said, hey, we got like five adopted kids and blah, blah, blah. We need a house.

The crew came out, built them a nice fucking fancy house. A month later, they got rid of the five fucking kids. What do you mean they got rid of them? They killed them? They said, you're out of here. They killed them? No, they didn't kill them. They said, you're out of here. They killed them? No, they didn't kill them. They just said, we don't want you anymore.

They were just giving their walking papers. It was a big scam. You know, it was a little stick with a thing in the end. That's pretty fucked. Yeah. How old were they? Yeah, kids like young kids?

They were fucking like three and four. And they just gave them away? Yeah. They were enjoying the house so much? I felt like they were my mom and dad. I loved them like they were my real parents. I did. That's what one of the kids said.

Oh, so these were like foster kids. Yeah, like foster kids. Those fuckers. You know what needs to happen now? I was thinking they maybe just hired them, you know, to make a story to get the free house. That's what they did. Oh, I see.

So that's something I would never... They just took a bunch of foster kids in to get a free house. To get a free house, and then they fired them out the door like there was so much... That's fucking bullshit. ...stray cats or something. That would never happen. We need to start a new show.

If I ever see those two, they're getting a good kick. You should write them a letter. We need to start a new show called Bulldoze and Fuckheads Homes. I'll tell you, right on. That would be a great show. Just roll up with a bulldozer, you've got to bring the doorbell, hey, fuckface. You've got five minutes to grab whatever you want and get the fuck out. Out of there.

They're rolling you down. Right on. That would be a great, I'd watch that show every night. What was it called? I forget. Oldos and Fuckheads Homes? Yeah, something like that.

Yeah. Hmm. All right, this, okay, here's a good scam. This German dude, you know those recycling machines they have over there? You put, like, the plastic in and it mulches them all up? Yeah. This guy fucked over one of the machines in his shop, like, took it out, put it in the basement.

It made 47,000 pounds on one, like, put this thing in. It looked like a bottle, but it wasn't. And then kept, like, putting the bottle in and ripping it out. 47,000 fucking euros, man. I don't understand what the fuck you're talking about. You put the bottles in this fucking machine, right? He put this wooden thing to go in, and then he'd slip the bottles into it,

and it would hit this thing. So it looks like a bunch of bottles are going in. And you take it over with a fishing line. Oh, it pays you money? Exactly. And then you get a receipt, and you go cash it in. We used to do that at the arcade with the fuckers. We used to do that all the time in the arcade.

We'd put a quarter on a piece of fishing line. So he ripped it off and put it cash it in. We used to do that at the arcade with the fucking- We used to do that all the time. We'd put a quarter on a piece of fishing line. So he ripped it off and put it in his basement. So he really, there is such a thing as a money machine. That is, that's 47,000 bucks. Like, that's a good idea. How long did it take him though? Holy fuck, he must've been there for fucking two years. Yeah, because if it's three cents a bottle, what the fuck?

That's a good question. And you don't know the question. How old is he? He's too old to enjoy the money. No, he's got the money. He's in jail now. Where did you say that was? Huh? Where was that?

Germany? Okay. Excellent. So, I mean, we're going to be going over to Europe next week. We've got a tour coming up. We leave on Tuesday. There's a lot of these fucking machines there. We should try to figure it out, boys.

Yeah, there may be a way to get it to pay off. Fucking right. If that doesn't work a way to get it to pay off. Fucking right. If that doesn't work, powdered alcohol. I'm for that. Powdered alcohol. Yeah, it's gonna make us rich, boys. Powdered? What the f-

Powdered alcohol. You mean like Kool-Aid, only it's alcohol. It's this fucking new shit, it's pretty cool. You mix it with water and all of a sudden you get a 58% fucking beverage. You can't have powdered alcohol. You can if you can make it or buy it. You can sell it to fucking every prison in the world. Oh, God, yeah.

You can't powder it though because the powdering process makes it... You can't powder Kool-Aid. Like you used to put it on a little wooden spoon with a paper over it. Oh, my Lord jiggler Jesus, you could get those anywhere. You could sell it everywhere. Yeah. What did you used to do? You used to have a little wooden spoon like this,

and they'd have the Kool-Aid just in the little wooden spoon and a paper over it. And then you just stuck that in a glass of water and it turned into Kool-Aid. But if you could do that with booze, man, you could get that anywhere. That's what I'm saying. Airplanes and every fucking thing. Oh, fuck, I never thought of airplanes.

Is this a real thing? Is this really happening? Jeez, I never thought of airplanes. Is this a real thing? Is this really happening? Geez, I don't know. Powdered alcohol. Oh jeez, it's worth a look into, isn't it? So somebody already invented it. Yeah, but we could make it better.

Yeah, you could. How the fuck would you make powdered alcohol? Bubbles could figure it out. He needs a powder alcohol. I tried years ago, Ricky, but the powdering process makes it evaporate. Well, you gotta evaporate the water and leave the alcohol behind. How the fuck do you do that?

Alcohol evaporates. I don't believe it, man. I guarantee you it tastes like shit. Yopo. That's a given. Would you give a fuck? That's right, Jim. Think about this. You could also put it in food and shit.

Sprinkle it on an omelet. Oh, yeah, you could. Yeah, like hash muffins, you could have alcohol muffins. It changes the game for getting drunk. Boys, we better think about this. Like, if Leahy gets his hands

on this stuff, we're going to be in trouble. He's going to be snorting liquor. He'll be snorting liquor. You could snort it. I never thought about that. There's another great use for it. That's the thought.

Take over the fucking cocaine market. Right on. Snorting liquor. Powdered booze. I'm going to turn into Pablo. We've got five. What's his name? Hey, five.

There's somebody. Escobar. Escobar. Wrap it up. Okay. Escobar. You don't want to turn into him, man. Pablo Escobar, Ricky.

You're not going to be Pablo Escobar. I'll be the Pablo of the liquor world. You don't want to be Pablo Escobar. He got killed gonna be Pablo. I'll be the Pablo of the liquor world. You don't want any more Oh, I'm sorry He got killed you don't want to be him. He was fucking had a good time until then though, didn't he? Did he though did he I don't know I didn't know him Do you think he sat up at night looking at himself in the mirror on fuck? I killed a thousand people today Did you really do that? Why I don't know he killed He killed a lot of people. Killed a lot of people?

Oh yeah. Who's another guy that could be that's cool then? Of the literary world. Austin George. Yeah. Johnny Depp and Blow. There was a guy named Juliano that was sort of like Ronald Cruz. I never saw that movie for years because I thought it was about something completely

different. I liked Johnny Depp. I see a movie called Blow. I mean, what do you think it's about? Johnny Depp blowing somebody. So I never watched it for ten years. And then I watched it and it see a movie called Blow. I mean, what do you think it's about? Johnny Depp blowing somebody. So I never watched it for ten years. And then I watched it. It was a fucking great movie.

You thought the movie Blow was about Johnny Depp blowing people? I don't know. That was, you know. Here's to you, Ricky. God, it must be a great life. Yeah. Why would Johnny Depp make a movie about himself blowing people? He grew up in the worry of the world, eh?

He doesn't give a fuck. Because it doesn't work. I don't know. I thought it was a fucking risky move in his career, but maybe it would have been good. Yeah, that'd be a risky one. Dark Black Mountain, same kind of idea. I didn't watch that for a while, and then I watched it. It was different, but it was good.

Fucking billion dollars selling blow. What movie? Dark Black Mountain. Dark Black Mountain. Dark Black Mountain. For what was this for? We were just talking about movies where people took on crazy roles. Yeah.

Brokeback Mountain. Was that the one? Okay, yeah. Oh yeah, that one. Gay Cowboys. Yeah, it was. Yeah. That was a great movie.

It was a great movie. Yeah. Fantastic movie. I remember that, I cried. You cried? Yeah, it was... Yeah. That was a great movie. It was a great movie. Yeah. Fantastic movie. I remember that. I cried. You cried? Yeah, fuck. I don't know.

I think I was foretelling that What's-His-Name was going to buy it. I don't know. Anyway, I cried. Oh, she's strong. Ricky cried over Brokeback Mountain, too. Yeah, there you go. Did I? I remember.

I bet Randy did. Randy did. He totally cried. Are we done? Yeah, there you go. Did I? I remember. I bet Randy did. Randy did. I did. He totally cried. Are we done? Yeah, yeah. We should have fucking played a game, I guess. Okay. Bob, we only have a couple minutes left here, guys.

I got shit to do. Yeah. What do you mean? Well, we've got five minutes. Can we play a game in five minutes? Yeah. It's busy, man. This next month is fucking crazy for me.

Well, I got to use it anyway, so. Do you? Yeah. It's busy, man. This next month is fucking crazy for me. Well, I gotta use it anyway, so. Do you? Yeah. Use what? The bathroom, Ricky. Oh, use it, use it. Use it, use it. Yeah, go quick.

Maybe Brian Adams is in there. One, two, or three? What? One, two, or three? One, two, or three. What's three? A little... Jesus. Ricky. I gotta, or three. One, two, or three. What's three? A little... Jesus.

I gotta do number three. Whoa. And that's a... Have you ever heard of it? Like, that's a number three? A diary, I think. No, he's talking about something totally else. He's talking about the old...

He's talking about toggy wuggy. Oh. Tugging something. That's new. Oh, okay, okay. The new number three is a tug. Oh, okay, okay. The new number three is a tug. Oh, okay, okay. Hand job, you mean.

Well. Fucking hand job, I know about that. You're tugging yourself. That's it. You're kinda giving yourself a hand job. I guess this is all that's been sort of good for episode 69, I don't know. That was a weird one.

I still don't know what you're going on about 69s for. You know what, someday, Bubz, you're probably going to know exactly what we're talking about. Alright, well... Hopefully it doesn't cost you too much money. See, you don't even know what that means.

Well, man, you know, if you wanted to do one and you didn't have a girlfriend, but you really had to get one out. So you need a girlfriend to do this, what you're talking about? It would help. Or a boyfriend or a fucking... Yeah, yeah, yeah, a partner. Some kind of a partner.

A dog, a horse, I don't know, whatever. I never turned you crank. I think I just figured it out. Well, let me just try to explain it. I think just figured it out. Let me just try to explain it. I think I figured it out. You don't have to explain it to him. Bubbs, you know what he's talking about. I think I do now.

Oh, for fuck's sake. Like, look. Are you going to ask me a question or a butt? No. It's kind of like, there we go. See that? Yeah, yeah. So.

Yeah, I get it now. So the mouth will be down on the chicken's whatever. I don't know if that's a boy or a girl. And the chicken's mouth will be in the dolphin's whatever that is. I see that now. Yeah. And see how it makes like a six and a nine sort of? Oh, yeah, and she's a moaner.

Yeah, she's a moaner. I think the chicken's the girl. Rather than a squealer. Well, that's a good little medical demonstration. Yeah, thanks, Ricky. All right, on that note, I gotta get the fuck outta here, boys. Everybody come out to our shows. We're gonna be all over the fucking place

in Europe next week. Put up the dates, throw up the tour dates. Yeah, throw up the tour dates here. Yeah, yeah. What, you think you're like magic? Yeah. They just fucked. You probably just did it as well, man.

So how long you to be over there? By the time you get back, I'm going to have my little casbah all made up, and I'll be telling everybody's fortune with the tarot cards. Are we going to? So you're going to get into that fortune telling? You bit your ass. Get her going.

Could you tell my fortune right now? What would you need? Well, I don't have tarot cards, but. Can you read my palm? Yeah, I can. See that? Oh, Jesus, your lifeline is really long, buddy. We're stuck with him for a long fucking time.

Look at this. That's a good thing. It goes from there to there. And you got a big fat thumb and a high thing here. And right up here, you're gonna have nine kids. What? Nine kids? You're gonna have nine kids?

Well, you're gonna marry someone with nine kids. Maybe. That's gonna be expensive. Fucking great. Yeah. My dad never trusted the palm reading. Well, maybe it's nine cats. Maybe. Maybe. That's gonna be expensive. Fucking great. Yeah. My dad never trusted the palm reading. Could it be kitties?

It could be kitties. Oh, decent, that's what it is. I'm gonna get nine kitties. Definitely kitties. Yeah, because seeds there, and then toward the end of your life you're gonna be a little bit sick. That's fine, I'll have nine kitties to deal with.

Yeah, that's it. My dad never believed in palm readings. He always said to really tell the truth you have to get a real like a tarot penis reading. Yeah, we'll see. It traces everything.

I guess it's a lot more accurate. Well, terrorism can be easy. Like if you get that guy with all the swords you know that in the future you're going to meet a real prick. Who's going to be, you know,

like stabbing at you or going to hurt you. If it's five it's going to be a prick. If it's ten you at you or going to hurt you. If it's five, it's going to be a prick. If it's ten, you're dead, man. It means that someone got a contract on you. I can read the cards

really good. I don't understand the fucking thing you just said there, Marguerite. Well, no, I'm talking about the cards that have the swords. The tarot cards

with the things that I... Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the queen of cups, if you get three, it means you like to drink. If you get five, it means you're well on your way to being a drunk.

And if you get ten, it means you're late.. If you get five, it means you're well on your way to being a drunk. And if you get 10, it means you're late. Yeah, I don't believe in any of that shit. I would never fall for that shit. Oh, you'd be surprised. If you get 10, it means you're late. Yeah, if you get the queen of cups and has 10 cups around her or whatever, it means you're late.

But if it's only three, it means you just like to drink. If you get five, it means you're well on your way to being a lush. And if you have 10, you're late. She's drunk. She's drunk right now. It's easy. She's wasted. It's really easy. Maybe next time we can talk about this tarot penis reading

you just referred to, Ricky. Yeah, let's look it up. It's just what we want to talk about, guys. Let's do it. I'd be kind of shy. What? To have your penis read by a medium? Yeah.

All right, Ricky. Ah ha! What, you can do that? I can look it up, I can look up the chart. I never asked my dad if you're supposed to be softer. I know by instinct, I don't read them very well. Instinct, okay, on that note, we're the fuck outta here.

All right, cheers, see you guys later. Have a great trip, you guys. Thank you. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Don't burn your trailer down. And don't pick up anybody on the Seine. On the what? On the Seine. That river that runs through Paris for fuck's sake.

Oh. Don't pick up anybody down there. It's, like, dangerous. I was never good at the places.