Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 7 - F**k Jail, Go To Hospital

Episode Date: July 12, 2021

Julian's back in the trailer! He reveals where the f**k he's been - and how many dates he got! The Boys also discover why you should keep your bag away from pythons, and why waterparks are so sh*tty. Also: Is Randy now the Boys'... friend?!

Yeah, they work pretty good, Ricky. What's working good, man? My new shoes. Oh, you got new shoes? I got them, look, at Value Village, and they're really nice. Those are like racing shoes. Yes. I feel quick.

I feel quick in them. Yeah, apparently they're, you know, all the rage. And they ought the three stripes on them. Oh, yeah. Not the four. I'll be all day talking about sex. Hey! What's up, you fuckers?

Oh, look who it is! Good to see you, boys. When the fuck did you get out of jail? Out of jail? You call us once in a while, you know. Good to see you, boys. When the fuck did you get out of jail? Out of jail? You can call us once in a while, you know. Good to see you, man. I was only in jail for a day, man. What are you talking about getting out of jail?

What are you talking about? Where the fuck have you been, then? Boys, I've been in the fucking hospital. For what? All right, I met this chick, okay? That was a bad night. That was the jail night, but... I heard you were fucked, man. You would not fucking believe this.

I called the jail. I know. I hooked up with a stripper, a dancer, okay? She ended up having COVID, right? Oh, my fuck. Get away from me. No, no, no, no, no. It's been a few weeks, man.

I'm okay. I went to the hospital after I got out of jail. They did some tests. I had some other shit wrong with me. Chlamydia? What? Chlamydia? No, it didn't have fucking chlamydia. I had some other shit wrong with me. Chlamydia? What? Chlamydia? No, I didn't have fucking chlamydia.

I had some clots or something going on in my lungs. That's what I thought. They thought I could fucking go with it. All right, I'm good, though. They gave me some medication. But, boys, the hospital's fucking amazing. Like, fuck going to jail, man. The hospital's where we want to fucking stay.

No, no. They do have some good drugs. Boys. They've got all good drugs. The boys. They've got all the drugs, Rick. TV, okay? You can watch TV for free all fucking day, three meals a day. But each meal, Bubz, you can pick what you want to fucking eat for free. I know, but the taxpayers are paying for all your... Who gives a fuck?

I've paid taxes. Everybody's paid taxes. You've paid taxes before. But you can't just go to the hospital because you like it. Well, I had some problems, okay? But I'm okay now. But man, I went on a couple dates there.

There's hot nurses. At the hospital? What? You went on dates at the hospital? Yeah. Well, I was... What's a date at the hospital, you're going to the gas station?

I watched Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, a couple episodes with a nurse who was hot as fuck, by the way. Got her number. Doctors, another one I had a date with her. We went for the walk upstairs, you know, on the little outdoor deck. So you were lounging around the hospital like fucking Hugh Hefner. Basically, yeah. And it was awesome.

And I gained a bit of weight and I feel good. I fucking feel healthy. It's awesome, man. All right. Well, lucky fucking dog. Jeez. For you, big club head. But I did miss you guys.

My phone was dead. We thought you were in jail. Instead, you're at the hospital doing drugs and teeing off on nurses and doctors. Well, I didn't get to really tee off, but I kind of got to, like, say this. Randy shit himself in your chair, too, by the way. Oh, yeah, but... Might as well just tell you that. Well, I didn't get to really tee off, but I kinda got to like- Randy shit himself in your chair too, by the way. Oh yeah, but- Might as well just tell you that. No, he didn't.

He shit his pants. It's cleaned now, but- Are you sure you cleaned it? I used Spray 9, Julian. The best cleaner there is. Does that kill shit-teria? Might not kill Randy's shit-teria, but... Oh, man, if I... if I smell like shit,

I'm not gonna be fucking happy. Randy's shit. No, it's good. I used all my cat urine dissolvers and stuff. So I heard you guys have been hanging out with Randy quite a bit lately since I've been gone. He fooled us. He dressed up as you. We thought it was you.

He dressed up as me? Yeah. You didn't believe him, did you. He dressed up as me? Yep. You didn't believe him, did you? He looked pretty convincing. What do you mean he looked convincing? He looks nothing like me, man. Well, I didn't really look at him that closely. It's not like I usually stare at your body.

You didn't know that was Randy? Well, I did when he took his shirt off and his duct tape goatee or whatever it was. He had a duct tape goatee? He had a. He had a duct tape goatee. He had a... You didn't know that that wasn't fucking... I didn't take a close look at him. I had a bit of a fucking buzz on.

And he sounded just like you. I didn't... I know it wasn't you. Thank you, Bob's. All right, well, he's not going to be fucking coming back in here. He actually... He's been better lately. What do you mean he's been better lately? Randy's not. be fucking coming back in here and doing his part. He's been better lately.

What do you mean he's been better lately? Randy's not. He hasn't been too bad. His level of dick has gone down from about a 12 to 7.5. He's not a 7.5. Bullfucking shit. I think Ricky's starting to like him. Yeah? What'd you say? So you've got a friend now, do you?

Would you consider him a friend? Randy's our friend. I don't know about friend, but... Come on, he's a 7.5 out of 12. That's friendship shit. There, in the canes. Oh, man. See, I gotta go away.

They cooked a few meals together. You're cooking meals together. A couple of things. We're gonna have a cooking off, maybe. Oh, so there's more than cooking meals. You're going to have something weekly with him. I just told him I could cook the shit out of him, and he said he could cook the shit out of me.

We're going to have a cook-off. They're just going to want to bang the shit out of you. That's what's going to happen. If that happens, then I'll end it. How are you going to end it? With a kiss? And say, that's enough, Randy? No.

When you say if that happens, do you mean if Randy bangs you? No, if he asks me for a little bang, you know, I'll just pull up my handgun and say I'm not ready for that yet. Yet? Yet? Yet. You said yet. Yeah, well, I didn't mean to say that. Oh, my fuck.

No, you know what? Go for it, man. If you want to hook up with Randy and bang him, go for it. I don't want to hook up with Randy. I just want to fucking cook and see what he's got. You just want to... See this, Julian? What's that? See this big screwdriver I bought?

It's a fucking big screwdriver. What are you doing? Here, Ricky. Oh, see this wrench we bought? Yeah. Oh, nice wrench, right? Nope. Look at this little... Who the fuck gave you that? Did Randy give you that? No, I got that at the store. And look, if you're trying to light your barbecue and you can't get her in there... Boop! What the fuck? You know what, if this thing actually worked, if you could adjust it, then it would be really super cool.

That's erection mode Pretty good right? This one the igniter's not working so you got to use this one too. Okay, well that's... But she's like a torch. Can you turn the fucking thing down or what? Well, we got her, I pulled the thing out Did you know on the thing, you know the turny-uppy? Yeah. If you lift it you you can just keep turning it. And it gets like crazy.

Are you kidding me? That's like a torch. That's fucking cool. Nice. Yeah, the Bing Bongers. Let's go get back, boys. The Bing Bongers. You missed a fucking hell of a weekend, man.

With Canada Day and July 4th. I guess you had a good weekend in the hospital. Fucking... Intervenous of rum? Did you ever have one of those? Interpenis? No, the intravenous. They stick it in there. The IV. You had liquor in your IV? Fucking right I did, man.

Intervenous liquor! You're drunk all day, all night, man. You don't have to sip. How much did they put in? Well, a whole fucking bag, and I had about four of them. But how much not straight liquor? You'd be dead. No, they put like a saline thing in because I was dehydrated, I guess, so I needed something. And they put a shot of liquor in with it. No, they put a half a fucking quart in it.

Each bag. Jesus Christ. My God. You had your liquor changed. Basically. And I, you know, I feel 100%. I think that's what they did with Keith Richards. You know, they're talking about the blood transfusion.

Yeah, it changes blood. It's a good oil change. They don't put straight liquor into Keith Richards. But sure they do. I don't think so. Keith knows how to pace himself. He doesn't need IV liquor. Wasn't he the guy that they were blowing liquor vapor up his ass?

Liquor vapor up his ass? I don't know. Something to do with ass. I don't know if it was liquor or drugs, but I guess they hit you a lot harder. I don't think anybody was blowing liquor vapor up Keith Richards' ass. I heard that.

That would work, though, wouldn't it? Liquor vapor? Well, it would. You remember those things we got that time with the liquor vapor? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lickertini? Lickertinis. And we almost fucking died.

Do they sell those now? No, they're illegal, I think, because you almost killed yourself with one. Yeah, they were dangerous. They come aboard you quick. Yeah, lickertinis. Good idea, though. Did you see Mark Zuckerberger on his, uh, on July 4th, he was on a hydrofoil surfboard. The American flag and John Denver take me home. See this?

No. What? It was a, yeah. How the fuck do you make a hydrofoil surfboard? Was it fake or was that a real thing that he was doing? Oh, it's probably real. There's all kinds of new hydrofoil technology. Probably be expensive though, wouldn't it?

Do you know how much money the man has, Ricky? No. He's one of the richest people on the planet. Billions, man. Zuckerberg. Zuckerberg? The Facebook fella. Oh, that's where he's from. Yes, Ricky. He's very rich.

I only know him because one time they had a picture of me. He put a whole thing of sunscreen on his face and he looked weird. And now this time he's got... If this hydrofoil surfboard thing is real, I need to get one. I think I could do it. I could probably build one. You're not talking about the guy that was on the drone that was fucking delivering McDonald's. No.

See that motherfucker? No. There was, man. Big fucking drone. He's sitting on it. Standing on it. Has a little thingy, controller. Standing on it? No. There was, man. Big fucking drone. He's sitting on it, standing on it. Has a little thingy, controller. Standing on it? Yeah. It's a fucking huge drone, man.

You fell for a fake video. Oh, fake. Do I have to fucking prove this? Because it has been proven, man. It sounds fake to me. It's hard to follow. It's just like a little cock thing that sticks out of the water. And the surfboard actually is above the water.

So what's below the water? There's a fin. There's a fin with a propulsion system. Okay. Ricky, it depends on the type of high-foil system they're using. Dr. Juanita. I'll have to call her back later. Ooh.

Dr. Juanita. I said Dr. John when you showed me his mom. No, it was Dr. Juanita. Dr. John. Very cool. Dr. John when you showed up. No, it was Dr. Juanita. Dr. John. Very cool. Dr. John Juanita. All right, what were you saying? Dr. John Juanita.

John Juanita. Little guy from Costa Rica. This is pretty cool. I don't know why he was riding it, carrying an American flag, singing John Denver. Because it was probably July 4th. It was, yeah. Well, that's why then. Is it a good thing to do?

If you're one of the richest people on the planet and you want to, you know, pretend that you're, you know, Mr. Patriotic, I guess you can drive around

on a hard foil with a... Yeah, I guess so. You don't like that fucking guy though, do they? Maybe next year I'll do the same thing. Canadian flag.

No, I think he's proven that he's a pretty greedy fella. I think. Some people think he's a fucking lizard. Yeah, they're called crazy people. That's fucked up, man. We should have a drink for that poor goalie. What goalie? Oh, man, he got fucked over have a drink for that poor goalie. What goalie? Oh, man, he got fucked over.

I heard about that. What happened? He was 34 years old. He was in a hot tub. Poor fucker. There was some fireworks going off, and one of the fireworks tipped over and started shooting at their hot tub,

so they jumped out, and when he jumped out, he slipped and hit his head and fucking died. What? Yeah. Jesus, Murphy, I didn't hear about that. Fucking tragedy. So what happened? They were in the hot tub

And shooting fireworks My understanding was There was fireworks nearby And one of them tipped over And started shooting towards him So they jumped out Panicked And he slipped

And fell and hit his head From what I see And that's what I keep Fucking telling you When we have fucking fireworks going Yes They're dangerous Not just because they can

Hit ya Hit ya But they can cause panic He didn't die from the fireworks. No, but from the panic of a firework. That has something to do with it. Anyway, it's fucking awful. 24 years old.

That's terrible. It's a play for Columbus, isn't it? Columbus Blue Jackets, yeah. Poor fuck. I'll have a drink for him, man. Yeah, let's do it. His family and all that shit. That's terrible.

Fuck. Poor guy. Shitty team, though. I'm not a big fan of Columbus. I used to love Tortorella yeah me too Torch is fucking he's the man

Torch Torch Tortorella that's his pet name Torch okay somebody this was

next time we go to jail we're gonna remember this this prison guard where the fuck was in South Carolina she worked at a female prison and she smuggled in amphetamines and dextroamphetamine in Rice Krispie squares.

What? Sell to the fucking prisoners, yeah. Rice Krispie squares? She could easily put some hash and stuff in Rice Krispie squares. Never thought of that, man. No. Yeah, you could bake those in there pretty easy.

No, she just ripped them apart and put the actual pills in. Put them in, man. Put them back together and then put them back in the packages. Throw a little heat to them, melt them down a bit. Yeah, you could do that. Don't get any big ideas, but... And did you see they sell the big, you know, the big kilo of fucking Rice Krispies squares now? Oh, fuck yeah.

Yeah, you could fucking drug the shit out of that. Put a lot in that baby. We should go back to jail and start thinking about new ways to get drugs. No, see, there's how it all starts, right there. I told you where I'm going. We should go back to jail and do this. Well, not yet, but we'll wait until it gets colder. We don't need to go to jail, we need to go to the hospital.

If jail had air conditioning, I'd think about it. Let's all go to the hospital then. There's no ladies in jail, buddy. That alone is a good reason to go to the hospital. You can't just go to the hospital, Ricky. Well, let's get in the car wreck. Or I can say there's something wrong with my fucking lungs. There probably is. Just get the heart rate going.

Say you're having a heart attack, they'll fucking get you right in there. Let's do some speed. My fucking heart feels like it's coming out of its chest. You don't want to do too much without a bitch chest Doesn't you own the chest? He's the main guy in there Your heart doesn't own your chest Ricky, it's your chest and he just lives in there and he just lives in there. Two little buddies, the Lungs. Lung brothers. Lung brothers.

Jimmy Heard. So this was a weird thing. The CDC, which I, is that like the CBC? No, way different. When I put out this little video, it's like a little water park. It's just a cartoon. Then this little girl comes down the water slide and she shits herself.

There's a big trail of shit coming behind her. Oh, man. It was for a campaign. They're just basically saying it only takes one person to put diarrhea to contaminate an entire pool. Holy fuck. So if you have diarrhea, you're not supposed to go to a pool. Because one squirt, that's like a billion fucking germs.

Yeah, they've got to empty the pool if that happens. Oh, yeah. And it can survive on chlorinated water for fucking days. Yes. I don't know. Chlorine's not made to deal with fucking diarrhea. I'm not going to be going into a public pool anytime soon. Think about all those shit particles.

I've been telling you for years there's shit particles in public pools. And you know what? When your eyes turn red and itchy from swimming in a pool? Red pink eye. No, it's not the fucking chlorine and chemicals. No.

It's piss. And shit. And shit now. I guess pink eye is from rubbing shit in your eyes. Ah, fuck. It should be called brown eye. It should be called brown eye. Not pink eye.

Brown eye is a different thing. You're my brown eye. I think last time I was at a water park I had diarrhea afterwards. So I probably caught diarrhea from the shit particles in the pool. You don't catch diarrhea, man, do you? That's what it says. There's germs. If you swallow water that has

the shit germs in it. Or if it goes up your piss hole or your anus. It'd be weird that a germ would go up your anus and give you diarrhea and then it comes back out. But it still stays up there. Parties around a little bit. Yeah, shit parties.

Fuck. Well, that's a little bit. Doesn't he? Yeah, shit parties. Fuck. Well, that's a good thing. I'm glad you said that. I had no idea, but I didn't like the cartoon with this little girl. Did you party hard with my friend? Oh, wrecked him. Get it?

Wrecked him. Wrecked him. Fuck, bobs. I don't get it. Wrecked him. Never mind. Ass, is that a word for ass? Wrecked him. Yeah, you wrecked him. Never mind. Ass. Is it a word for ass?

Yeah. You wrecked him. Did you party with him? I wrecked him. Like wrecked him a car wreck? Yeah. But it's a twist. Okay.

Yeah, words that mean different things. Yeah, it wasn't that funny. I get it now. Wrecked him. damn near killed them. That's it. That's the same. Fair, a variation of that old standard. This fucking man in Iowa went to McDonald's and they didn't give him the sauce for his chicken McNuggets and he fucking snapped. Called in a bomb threat.

What? Threatened everyone's lives that worked there over chicken McNugget sauce. What the fuck is wrong with people, man? They're watching too much TV and playing too many fucked up video games. It's just becoming normal. If somebody pisses you off, you fucking, you know. I mean, it would fucking piss me off too, but I'm not going to, you know. You would never call up the McDonald's and threaten everybody that works there

because you didn't get your McNugget sauce. No. Depends on the buzz on you. I would just make a sauce. I could totally see him do that. I would make a sauce out of something. It would be fine. The most I could see you doing is going down and pissing on the window or something.

That sounds pretty good. Or pissing on the cash register. Yeah. He's done that before, hasn't he? Yes, he's pissed on several cash registers. Or... Who's... You'd have to find out whose fault it is.

It's not the cashier, probably. Unless they rung it in wrong. You'd have to look through receipts. It said sweet and sour sauce on the receipt. You know it wasn't that person. Yeah, what's the next person? It was the bagger. So you would wait and find out maybe the bagger has the car.

Maybe the bagger's car needs to be pissed in the gas tank. Something like that. No, see, that's a lot of work for somebody that just maybe they made an honest mistake. Well, I don't think it was worthy of a bomb threat and murder. You shouldn't be fucking shit up like that, though, Bob. See, if you're getting paid to fucking put sauce in people's bags. Yeah, I agree. You've got to pay attention and do your job and get your sauces right

because sauces are important to people's well-being, mental well-being. You know, that guy might make his whole day when he has his fucking sweet and sour sauce. So, like, you get it, but you can't, you know, threaten to murder people over a sauce. Put the fucking sauce in the bag. That's all I've got to say. Just Put the fucking sauce in the bag. That's all I gotta say. Just put the fucking sauce in the bag. The next time I go to McDonald's, I'm gonna be like, is my fucking sauce in there?

Yeah. Fuck it better be. Well, it's always good to check. What the fuck is this thing? Like, what do you, what's this, what, I mean. Why? I got this one going, that was easy. Yeah, there you go. What the fuck is this thing? Like, what do you... What's this... What, I mean... What? I got this one going. That was easy. Yeah, there you go. What the fuck is this thing?

You supposed to make them come undone or something? They get progressively harder. Yeah, but it's... What? This isn't... That's easy, man. That's not what it is. What, you're supposed to make them, like, come apart, right?

I don't know. That one's easy. This one's fucked. Let me see it. I didn't know that a lot of people asked for their ashes to be spread around Disneyland. What? Why? Well, I guess because then you're always having fun for the rest of your time.

But imagine being on a roller coaster and all of a sudden this fucking cloud of ashes hits you in the face. That's what happens to some people. Ah. That would be fucked. This's what happens to some people. Ah. That would be fucked. This is what I wanted to do. Like, it's my time, boys. Get the ashes. Make ice cubes out of it.

And get drunk with everybody, please. Jesus, man, that sounds... Ice cubes out of your ashes? Yes, I think if you had enough booze in it, you're not going to taste it. I'm not doing that. So we're going to drink you and then piss and shit you out? Basically. It's like you're going to go through my body'm not doing that. So we're gonna drink you and then piss and shit you? Basically. So you're gonna go through my body.

Well, that's a weird. I'm not thinking of it that way. It's not as if, you know, I'll know I'm going through your fucking body. Okay, this thing is pissing me off. Me too, man. How the fuck does this work? Prepare to have your mind blown, boys.

Can't wait. Ritz crackersackers. What about it? Been around since 1943. Yeah. Just got some new intel. Okay. The fucking ridges on the edges. Yes.

Serve a purpose. The ridges on the Ritzes? Yeah. Yeah, of course they do. They're for cutting cheese. No, they fucking are. I did not know that. No way. Yeah, of course they do. They're for cutting cheese. No, they fucking are. I did not know that. No way.

That's what the company claims. I didn't know that. No fucking way. Depends on what kind of cheese. I mean... I think like a little thin, thin cheese. Craft slice? Swiss?

I don't know. It would have to be a soft cheese. You're not going to cut through a fucking, you know, like a fucking parmesan with it or something. We should have a box of Ritz crackers and some cheeses here. And test the shit. You could cut through a nice brie or a camembert with a Ritz.

Or a cheese whiz. Cheese whiz. You don't really cut that. That's just more of a scooper. Yeah, unless you leave it out overnight. But you're not going to cut through, you know, any of the hard cheeses. No, like you're not going to get through a scooper. Yeah, unless you leave it out overnight. But you're not going to cut through, you know, any of the hard cheeses. No, like you're not going to get through a Parmigiano. No.

Parmigiano-Ricciardo. I've never heard of that before. You know what? Maybe they're fucking, maybe it's bullshit. It could be. I think it's bullshit. I bet Ritz Cracker sales are going to be way up this week. Because you'd have to use it like this.

You almost need to put a hole in the middle and have a little device that you could... Spin it. Yeah. Or put it on one of those... Dremels. Dremels, yeah. Let's try that. Put it on a dre- but the cracker's just gonna crumble under the dress of a dremel. You think?

Yes. Unless it's stale and petrified. Mama's petrified. I know we've talked about this before, but it happened again. A fucking Austrian man got bit by a python on a toilet. Bit his genitals. What does that mean? His cock and balls.

In his bag, Ricky. Python glamped onto his sock. Five-foot albino python. In his bag. Oh, baby. How could you ever use the toilet again after that? I guess his neighbor, he lived in a permit building, and the neighbor had 11 snakes and one of them must have went down that toilet and came up his toilet and went.

See, I... A bag must look appetizing to a python or something. Of course it would. And dangling there like a beach. Or whatever. Hang dangling there like a peach or whatever. Oh, if you're a snake and you haven't eaten in a while, you're like, oh, that low-hanging fruit on a tree. Easy pickings.

Couple of plums. Oh, I love plums. Clomp. Fuck, that would suck. I mean, it would freak you out a little bit. A little bit? All of a sudden your bag's like, hmm, something's not right there. You look down, it's a you out a little bit. A little bit? All of a sudden, your bag's like, something's not right there.

You look down, it's a fucking five-foot python. With his mouth wrapped around your side? You know what that guy needs? One of those bags. Snake alarm? Bag, uh, bag-oosies. Snake-to-little-arm. Test-a-coosies. Remember the little...

Oh, test-a-coosies, yeah. Test-a-coosies. Yeah. Little... That's what he needs. Hot tub for your balls. Didn't we have one of those? Testacousies. Yeah. Little... That's what he needs. Hot tub for your balls. Didn't we have one of those? Did someone send us one?

I made one out of Ricky's kettle. Oh, but someone actually sent one to us, didn't they? I made one out of the kettle and didn't tell you guys. Did you use it? Yeah, I dipped her in. Are you still using it? No, I put it back. Oh, you didn't put it back? Yeah, I just, like, not boiling water or anything, just warmed her up.

Doop, doop, doop. Jesus buffs. Okay. I didn't do that. If you put it back, that's kind of gross, man. Just teasing you. Oh yeah, this poor cunt. Yeah, if you went back, that's kind of gross, man. Just teasing you. Oh, yeah, this poor cunt.

Fucking guy robs a taco truck with a water gun and got life in prison. No way. They're finally trying to get him out of prison after 40 fucking years. 40 years? He served 40 years robbing a taco truck with a water gun. A taco truck? Oh, I thought you meant like an armored car. Nope. A taco truck. Oh, yeah, see, he shouldn't be in jail for that. No, man. A taco truck? Oh, I thought you meant like an armored car. Nope.

A taco truck? Oh, yeah. See, he shouldn't be in jail for that. No, man. For a fucking life? 40 years? Maybe the week. Jesus Christ.

When did he go in? How old was he when he went in? Oh, he's 70-something now, so he would have been 50, I guess. How many years? No, no, no. Sorry. 30. 30.

Yeah. He would have been in his 30s. Well. Poor bastard. That was obviously dumb. 243 bucks or something he got. The whole life in prison. Water gun. That is fucked. Garbage.

The guy that owns the taco truck is pretty fucking happy he's still in there. I don't know. Would he be? Would he be like, wow. Maybe after 40 years he'd be like, eh. I'm pretty sure the taco truck guy wouldn't give a fuck after 40 years. He'd be like, Jesus, that's a bad ass. People'd he be like, wow. Maybe after 40 years he'd be like, eh. I'm pretty sure the taco truck guy wouldn't give a fuck after 40 years. He'd be like, Jesus, that's a bear.

That'd be more grudges, man. I know, he pointed a water pistol at me. If he'd fucking killed the guy in the taco truck, he wouldn't have got any more. Like, it's ridiculous. Yeah, that's kind of true. Could have been a domino effect. He fucked him over for that one day,

which could have fucked up his taco business forever. It didn't fuck up his taco business. Maybe he got into crack after that. Crack wasn't around. Okay. 40 years ago, was it? Maybe. Maybe. I'm just saying. You don't know the whole fucking story.

I'm just glad that nothing like that would happen in Canada. That's fucking nuts. Yeah, I mean, we've done a lot worse than fucking rob a taco truck. I robbed shit and fired my gun off, and it wasn't a water gun. Didn't get 40 fucking years. You know what? I'm going to go down and help protest for this guy. Where's this guy at? He's in the States somewhere. Okay, you get right on that, Rick.

He needs our help. I'll help him. Fuck it. Well, you want to see who got born on July the 9th? Yeah, let's fuck him up, buddy. Red Kelly. Pretty famous hockey player. Red Kelly, yeah. Oh, Red. Blue's brother.

Blue Kelly. Blue Kelly? Bon Scott. Bon Scott. Yes, sir. Ronald Belford Scott is his name, actually. That was Bon Scott's name? Yeah, Ronald Belford Scott.

That's something you didn't know about music. One of the greatest rock and roll singers ever. Fuck, man. Yeah, I was a big fan. Yeah, he was good, man. He got dead, which sucked. A long time ago. He got dead a long time ago.

What the fuck happened to him? I forget. Barns got? That's a good question. Did it involve... Booze? Did he drown? I'm guessing it was either OD or car accidents. That's how he usually gets most of them. I think he was banged up on something, wasn't he?

Ask your smart box. I don't remember. Smart box. Did he choke on vomit? Could've. That sounds familiar. I think that's what it is, man. You know what? I think you got it. I think he did. I think Barnes got it.

Don't quote me on that, but I believe he was all boozed up. I think you screwed the nail in the head. Yeah. Don't fucking... Don't go to sleep if you're wasted, man. You feel like puking. You heard the nail on the head. Yeah, don't fucking... Don't go to sleep if you're wasted, man. You feel like puking. I don't fucking Mitch... Mitch Mitchell. Mitch Mitchell? Another drummer. Yes, sir.

Who was the first drummer? Oh yeah, no, he wasn't a drummer, was he? Mitch Mitchell. The Jimi Hendrix experience. You got it. He nailed it. Yeah, Mitch Mitchell.

Billy Cox. Billy Cox. Billy Cox. 1947, Orange Juice Simpson. Orange Juice Simpson. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaking of 1952, John Tesh. Is that the John Tesh? John Tesh, man. That's incredible. No. No, man.

It's a fucking pianist. TV host. John Tesh is the blonde fellow from Entertainment Tonight. Entertainment Tonight. You're thinking of John Davidson. John Davidson. That's who I was thinking about. Sarah Purcell.

Was she on Real People? Don't know. Byron Allen. Sarah Purcell, was she on Real People? Byron Allen. Byron Allen, nice one. He was on Real People. Somebody had a little crush on him. John Davidson. Next one. Who was that?

Who else was on That's Incredible? 1955, Jimmy Smits was born. Jimmy Smits? Yeah. Al-Ala. I used to watch the shit out of Jimmy Schmitz. Who did? You did, didn't you?

I still don't even know who the fuck he is. Jimmy Schmitz was on LA Law. Yeah, but I didn't watch LA Law. I don't know who he is, man. Fuck it. Anybody else there born today? This little guy. Wonder could we go down to the hospital and get a meal? Tom Hanks.

Fucking rights. Tom Hanks got born today. That's pretty cool. We could celebrate that. When did he get off the island? He's probably still there, but it's his birthday. Courtney Love? Yeah, Courtney Love.

Jack White. Jack White. Jack White. He's fucking good, man. Jack White. Jack White. White stripes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jack Black's cousin. Jack Black.

I guess his last name is Gillis. I didn't know that. He's got relatives right here in Nova Scotia. Jack White, he's been here. No way. His grandmother, I think, lives down in Nova Scotia. Jack White, he's been here. No way. His grandmother, I think, lives down in Cape Breton. And Fred Savage. Fred Savage. The Wonder Years. The Wonder Years and The Princess Bride.

Oh, yeah. Remember that movie? Yes. That's a classic. Andre the Giant. Yeah. One of his greatest acting performances. He did well in that one.

He did fantastic. Do you remember who the guy was that gave him the fucking test, that tried to outsmart the guy? Wallace Shawn. Oh, yeah, that's right. Wallace Shawn. Yeah. Wally Shawn, yes, sir. Oh,. Yeah. Wally Shawn, yes, sir.

Oh, Wally. Wally Shawn, one fantastic actor. He was in Swim with Sharks. Yes. He played the guy that was fucking torturing, what's his face? And do you know who the bride was in The Princess Bride? Yeah. Yeah.

She was in House of Cocks. No. House of Cards. House of Cards in House of... Cox. No. House of Curds. House of Curds. Correct. She was married to Jonathan Penn. Yes.

Why can't I think of the fucking name? Robin Wright. Robin Wright. Hot. She was the... She was the bride in the Princess Bride.

Fuck. I just learned a whole bunch of shit there I really don't care about. Fred Savage. Who was his grandfather in the Princess Bride. Fuck, I just learned a whole bunch of shit there I really don't care about. Fred Savage. Who was his grandfather in the Princess Bride? Wasn't it Columbo? Yeah, it was. Columbo. Good one, man. You're fucking like an expert on the Princess Bride. I'm cutting this off because I don't care about the movie. Okay. I care about all these people. I'm hungry. I need something to eat. We gotta go. Let's get drunk and go to the hospital.

We're not using the hospital for food and intravenous liquor. And deets. He said there's lots of deets. There's tons of hot women there, man. It's insane. That's not what the hospital's for. I woke up, I swear to fuck I thought Tatu was going to come out and say, the plane, because I thought I was on fantasy fucking island. I'm ready to get some stuff going.

You can't. No, we're not abusing the hospital services. That's for sick people that need it. COVID people. Everybody's sick, man. Everybody's sick. Double vaxxed. Come on, man. Double vaxxed and ready for banging. So let's go to the hospital

where everybody's sick. Time to get a date for you, my friend. If you get sick, you don't have to go very far. Call me later when you end up in jail. I'm not going. You're not gonna go to fucking jail sneaking into a hospital. Think about it. Security's there. They don't give a fuck.

Liquor store. Take some speed. Go to the emergency room. Work up a sweat. Get the heart rate going. Heart attack, you're in.