Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 7 - I'd Bang One of You Guys for a Slap Chop

Episode Date: May 20, 2019

Julian's calling the shots in Ricky's kitchen today - and dirty ol' Dog Cakes are on the menu! The Boys also discuss itchy nuts, sad onions and damn spicy pickles, and Ricky gets us learnt about flying!

All right, what's up fuckers? This is another Perk After Dark. Blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. Why'd you do that? What the fuck is the problem here, motherfuckers? Huh? What's going on here?

Oh, are we starting? Yes, I tried to do like an intro thing and you just... Oh, I thought we weren't supposed to do intros. You can do that if you want. Can you? Do whatever the fuck we want, man. Alright. It's our show, bud.

Do it then. Do it. Yeah, what's up, fuckers? This is another perk after dark coming at you right now. And as you can see, we got lots of fucking delicious food in front of us. Yeah, Julian was bitching and complaining. He never gets to pick the food, so today he wanted to make, what do you call these fucking things? Pan dogs?

Dog cakes. Dog cakes? I like it. They're dog cakes, man. All right, I'm going to get to work. Dog cakes. You're going to love the shit out of these things, man. They sound fucked. I think you've said I've eaten them.

I don't remember. We had them in jail. We fucking made them every Tuesday for like three months. All right. Dog cakes. Dog cakes, yes. You were not there. In jail, they use raw fucking wieners.

I can't do that. No, no, no. We're going to fry these babies up. Yeah. We're going to do it right, man. How many do you think we need, like a few? Oh, four or five, maybe six. Go six. You want, you know... You're gonna make a big batch of these fucking things, man.

Dog cakes. I'm going five. And the good thing about dog cakes, you can heat them up the next day, they taste great, or later on that day when you're fucked up. All right. I would have brought my spiral dog cutter. the next day that tastes great or later on that day when you're fucked up. All right. I would have brought my spiral dog cutter. See that would have been cool. Spider dogs would have been good. Spiral dogs are the best.

Spiral dog cakes would have been great. So what do you got going over there, Ricky? You got, you're cutting up some wieners, right? Yeah, I'm doing five at a time. That's pretty good, man. This is really something. So what do you guys want to talk about while we're making this fucking dog cakes? Did you wash your fucking mitts before you got in here?

Everything's washed, disinfected. You were just scratching down at your jewels a little while ago. My jewels are perfect. Like down the track pants. I haven't touched my jewels in all since last night. You've been itching your nuts a lot lately, Ricky. What's going on? Why are your nuts so itchy?

Just because it's spring. Is that when the bugs come out? When you wake up? Your clothes are fucked up. Like, you're still wearing clothes that are a little too warm for spring, so you get a little action going on down there, and then you had to jerk shit around. When do crabs start coming out?

Right about now. What do they do? Crabs come out with the ticks. They what? Come out at the same time as the ticks. Crabs come out... What the fuck are you talking about? They're in the same family, I think.

Like, fuck, when people get crabs, when you do some banging, you get crabs. Dogs don't come out with the ticks. So where do they come from, man? I'm getting itchy thinking about that. Or maybe it's the hummingbirds. Something comes out with the ticks, I where do they come from man? I'm getting it you think I'm maybe it's hummingbirds something comes over the tics. I don't know The hummingbirds, you know, they come back and man don't they a hummingbird couldn't have a tack got it Yes, man. I don't think tics give a fuck what they're munching on to a hummingbird could have a crab

On this little hummingbird. Well, no all this body. I'm not sure, I don't know what they do, but. What are you doing, Ricky? Just cutting up a bit of onion. This is taking it to a new level. I've never had onions in fucking pancret. Shoulda had slap chop here. I shoulda brought my slap chop. Oh man, I'd fuck, I'd bang one of you guys

for a slap chop right now. Hey, it's Vince with Slap Chop. Got us all in the. Didn't he die? Vince with Slap Chop. Got us all m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m I thought I couldn't think about somebody else. Oh, don't say that. I don't know, man. Maybe it wasn't. I don't like to hear. Are you thinking about the guy, the other infomercial guy that drives the boat with the door in it? He died. Did he die on a plane? I don't think he was on a plane.

I think he was on one of those boats with the door cut in it. Yeah, I think he had a heart problem. He was on a slap job. He got into something dirty, man. Let's look it up. Slap job, dude. What's his name? Hey, it's Vince with Slap Chop. Vince with Slap Chop.

That remix was one of the best remixes ever done. Okay. Slap Chop remix. Fuck's sakes. Why do onions make you want to get sad? They don't make you sad, Ricky. They just make your eyes water. You're still happy.

I'm not happy right now. I'm sad. It's... Onions are making them sad, not just teary-eyed. I don't want to be here anymore. Ricky. What are you talking about, man? That's not what they do, they make you cry. They make your eyes water. It has nothing to do with being sad.

You're still happy, aren't you? Or no? Not really. Are you sad because your eyes are watering? Because that's different. All right. What's this? That's cheese, as they call it in Spain. A little bowl of fromage.

I got a lot of too many knives. You were pretty prepared. And I didn't see those. I used the sh of too many knives. You were pretty prepared. And I didn't see those. I used the shittiest fucking one. I used this fucking shitty little steak thing. Fuck. All right. Go about your business.

Vince was arrested on felony battery charges in Miami last month following a violent encounter with a hooker. Yeah. That sucks. Yeah, he gave her a thousand bucks. Poor hooker. After she propositioned him for straight sex. She propositioned him?

Do you want to do some bagging? He was like, fuck yeah, here's a thousand bucks. I thought maybe she stole a slap job or something. No, man. No. Okay, now we're fucking getting something. Let that do its little dirty work. What do you got in there, Ricky?

Just the hot dogs? He's frying up the hot dogs. Onion. And the onions. So explain to me what happens when you cook hot dog bits and onions. You want pickles? I like pickles. Yeah, go make them small, man.

Cut them up in small pieces. See, we need a slap chop. You don't want them too big in the fucking pancake. Remind me to get a slap chop next time. Okay. We'll find a slap chop. What the fuck's that thing right there? Slap chop. I can find a slap chop. What the fuck's that thing right there? Slap chop?

I can build a slap chop. What's this? What is this, Ricky? I saw that and just had to have it. Oh my god. This is serious fucking scissors right there. Not ever take your fangies off. Or other things.

What, Ricky? What was her name? The Dobbit? Oh, your wiener he's talking about. I would not be good, man. Ricky, are there more hot dogs? Yep. Let me see one. It's right over there in the hot dog package.

Why do you got to do this? Just imagine. Look, Julian, that's you. Okay. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Jesus. Ah! Oh, boy. Put those things away. Get that away from me. That's Danger Bay. Do you remember Danger Bay? Yes, I remember Danger Bay.

That's a fucking show. I don't think I've ever watched an episode, but I remember it. Do you remember, um... They had a float plane or something, didn't they? Danger Bay? Yeah. They might have had a float plane.

I don't fucking know. That's got nice work on the fucking pickles, man. I don't think we're going to go too crazy with the pickles. No, man, you don't want too much pickle action. Uh, you could have cut them up with the scissors. Motherfucker! Why? Spilled one. Okay, leave it on the ground. I'll put cut them up with the scissors. Motherfucker! What? Spilled one.

Okay, leave it on the ground. I'll put it back up there. Alright. What's that maneuver? Holy fuck! Why? Those are pretty spicy. They're not spicy, are they? No.

They're called damn spicy. Fuck, man. Maybe we won't put these in. No, just wait now. I love a spicy pickle. Wow. I love me a spicy pickle. You get the fuck cooking up, you fucking asshole. Turn that motherfucker up higher, man. Spicy?

Those are spicy. Jesus, boys. I don't know if they're gonna taste good in the pancakes. The Brooklyn Brine Company, where in the fuck did these come from? Probably Brooklyn. I want these. Alright, so... What's next?

Alright. We need to make our batter. Throw a bunch of that shit in the bowl. Make our what? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh to throw fucking eggs? One and a quarter cups of this flour. No, you don't ever measure, Rick. I'm not measuring, I'm just getting an idea. Just roughly. Yeah, so there's like a cup-ish. Once you throw the ketchup and shit in there, it's gonna... It's probably close to a quarter, I would think. Okay. Those are the best peckers I ever had.

How many eggs do you need in this thing? Just one. Check this shit out. Can you do a one-handed cracker? I've got a one-handed cracker coming at you guys. I'm impressed. I'll take this little party. I'm surprised you can even peck up an egg

without it exploding in your muscle hand. Check that shit out. It's a little messy, but it's all right. And we need some of the cow stuff. How much? 250 mils, what's that? That is a half a cup. No, it's one cup.

One cup I meant to say. Guess conveniently we have this right here. Do we have a whisk? No, I'm gonna build one. We don't have one. May 10th, what's the date? Are we good? Not really.

We're good, we're good. Well, it's a little bit, we're good. It's a little curdled, but I'm sure it'll cook up just fine. Okay. Yep. Curdley Jones. Okay. All right, you guys can talk about this shit.

I can do all this and still talk. Do we have a whisk, though, Ricky? I can whisk that up for you. Look, in the thing, I think there's a whisk. I can't find one, so I'm gonna make one. How do you make a whisk? I don't know, but I think you just... Oh, yeah, you got some duct tape there.

Right there, man. Oh, yeah, okay. You're gonna make a whisk out of forks? It's sort of like a whisk. I don't know. That's actually... That looks too easy at first. It's a pretty good idea, man, if you don't got a whisk. Fuck. Fuck that one up pretty bad.

Here. This is how you make a whisk. If you don't know. I want to do the whisking, though. Fuck it, Jesus. This is not an make a whisk. If you don't know. I want to do the whisking though. Fuckin' Jesus, this is not an easy thing to make. You know what they call me back home? What do they call you back home? Whisker. That's so fucked.

Get it? Yeah, I get it. Alright, Bobbs, you know how you like doing stretches and shit all the time? This is not working that well. Here, Ricky. Let me perfect it. You gotta... That's gonna work just fine as a whisk. But...

What? Stretching with your neck that you do when you wake up? Yeah? Don't do it, man. Why? This dude did it, stretching his neck. Major stroke. Really?

He stroked out, man. What happened? Stretching? He stretched his neck and he went too fucking far. He had a stretch stroke. He...some kind of...I don't know. Blood went to his brain or something. How's that delicious stuff going?

Uh, too bad. Holy fuck, I forgot I had some shit... You were talking about flying an airplane? Yeah. I found out some things about flying, talking about flying an airplane? Yeah. I found out some things about flying if you guys want to get learned. Are they good stories or fucking tragic ones? You lose one-third of your fucking taste buds during flight.

Bullshit. They get numbed at altitude. Don't believe that. That's why food tastes like shit on a fucking plane. No, it tastes like shit because plane food tastes like shit. Randy! I'm fucking telling you! You do this on purpose every fucking time we're trying to shoot this! I'm not gonna... Really!

Ricky. He can't hear you. Well, he can hear him. He's yelling back. No, I think he's just... What the fuck is this new machine he's got now that whistles like a goddamn hyena? Sounds like he's got a high pressure... You better shut the fuck is this new machine he's got now that whistles like a goddamn hyena? Sounds like he's got a high pressure... You better shut the fuck down. Trick off, Ricky. Stop being a jerk.

Sounds like he's got a high pressure sprayer. Holy fuck, man. Nice job on that. She's bent it down a bit, man. I whisked her. The other thing about the taste buds, it enhances the fucking flavor of tomatoes. That's why people crave Bloody Marys and Caesars when they're flying. That's... I didn't know that. I didn't have a fucking clue either.

People do eat a lot of those or drink a lot of those. It's impossible to lock yourself in the bathroom. I knew that because I was in having a fucking joint one time and this fucking woman came right in and said, you can't do that. You can't lock yourself in? No. They can unlock you. Oh, well, yeah, the Storches can.

Not the average person. They can't just walk in when you're doing a poop. They can, but they don't. How's that come along? This is... Oh, fuck. Certain things are starting to get erect. Why does that happen to you, man?

The smell of food, man. It's sexual. Do you want me to throw some cheese on there? You smell like Phil Collins. You don't want the cheese in the batter. Remember Phil Collins said the smell of bacon makes him hurt or something? Yeah, I get it. Pilots and co-pilots are required to eat different meals in case one of them is tainted.

Yes. That makes sense. Didn't know that. In case one's poisoned, they don't want two poisoned pilots. That's a good idea. That's a good band name. Two Poisoned Pilots. That's a good idea. That's a good band name. Two Poison Pilots. That's my new band. Nobody steal it.

I'm going to fucking kill Randy. I'm going to fucking kill him, boys. Please welcome to the stage Two Poison Pilots! Two Poison Pilots, that's the band name? Don't be kissing me, Bobs. Bobs, don't be. Fuck, man.

All right. Get this fucking going. All right, yeah, dump it all in the pancake mix. Right into the batter? I don't know if that's... Into the batter, man. No, man. This is the way you do it. Okay. Okay.

Okay, Ricky. That's how you got enough. You're gonna be putting the pancakes back in... No, actually, you got a griddle there, do you? He's got a griddle. That's how you got enough. You're gonna be putting the pancakes back in. No, actually, you got a griddle there, do you? He's got a griddle. That's my griddle. Don't fuck it up. Hopefully this one won't get melted.

Aw, don't melt my griddle. Okay. What else are we talking about? Mix that shit up. You lose eight ounces of water from your body for every hour you fly. That's two liters in a ten-fucking-hour flight. That's crazy, man. You're putting the cheese right in. Right in there, man.

You can put some on top, too. That's not gonna work. It's gonna work. What was the verdict on pickles? Pickles are ridiculous. Throw some in. Not all of them. Whatever you want to do, man. That's a big batch.

It's a huge... That's not a lot of pickles to put in a batch like that. You know what else pancakes batters are good on? What? Clams. Fuck me. What? Clams. Fuck me. What? Deep fried fucking clams.

You put them in this shit? My fuck. We'll do that one time. Okay. Pancake batter, man, is good on almost anything. It's kind of like, is this what they make pogos out of? They could. This is kind of like a pogo.

It's not anything like a pogo. It's wait till you taste it. Are you going to ladle it on, Ricky, or are you going to just... I don't know what that means. It's, wait till you taste it. Are you gonna ladle it on, Ricky, or are you gonna just- I don't know what that means. I'm gonna lay it on. Are you gonna use a ladle? Get some of these little guys in there.

Yeah, that's probably enough. Throw some ketchup in there too, man. Ketchup? No. Yeah. This is not a ketchup condiment type thing. It is, man, I'm telling you. It's like a hot dog.

See, I think it's more like a pancake and it deserves syrup. No, it's more like a hot dog. So which way are you going to go? If you had a pancake that you put a complete hot dog in and squeezed it and held it like a bun, then I would put ketchup on it. He's making pancakes that have to have hot dogs in them. Therefore, the dominant theory is syrup. Okay, we'll make dog cakes and you can put on whatever the fuck you want. That's a good idea. Therefore, the dominant theory is syrup.

Okay, we'll make dog cakes and you can put it on whatever the fuck you want. That's a good idea, we'll put it on afterwards. I'll sample it with syrup and with ketchup. And you can tell us. And maybe some ketchup syrup. That might be good, man. Maybe some maple ketchup might be nice.

Some fucking maple honey syrup, man. Okay, Ricky, how hot do you have the... I don't syrup, man. Okay, Ricky. How hot do you have the... I don't know, man. How's it looking? That one's pretty small. I didn't hear any squittle squattle. No, man, you're supposed to have some fucking, some shit on that grill.

No, no, she's grilling up now. Fuck baby, is she ever. Okay. Pancake-y-ose. It's actually making my mouth water a bit, huh? Listen to that. That is nice. Did you grease the griddle with anything, Ricky?

No, you should have greased it. It's been used enough. It's pre-greased. Oh, that's great. Pre-greased. Did you use all the batter? I think so. Holy fuck. Well, you're gonna have to keep an eye on those. Just let them cook, man.

All right, now we can start. We fucked up that prepared, didn't we? Told that who was boss, huh? Those probably won't take long to cook. You're gonna want to flip them too, right? Give them time. Wait till they start bubbling up a bit. Bubbling? That's how they know when your mother's ready.

She starts bubbling up a little bit. Yeah. She used to bubble a little bit. Yeah. She used to bubble a lot, bubs. This is good to go. That's not where my name came from. I ate cow. Her name, she had a bubble nickname, too, on the sack. What was it? The bubbler.

Who, your mom? His mother. Oh, his mom. No, that's not true. 100%. That's nice cheese. I think it's cold, though. At any given time, there are 10,000 planes,

1.2 million people in the sky. 1.2 million in the sky. That's a lot of fucking people. That's hard to believe. No, that's not hard to believe. You're talking all over the world. I take off and land, and planes travel between 150, 200 miles per hour. That's pretty quick. I thought it might be quicker, though.

Nope. And that's all that's required for the lift. I've been going that fast in a car, so it's not a big deal. I bet the car will go over 200. Do you know what pilots say as they're going down the runway and they reach milestones of speed? What? Nope.

V1. That means we're now at fucking enough speed to take off, I believe. V1. Then they say, V2, that means no turning back now, baby. We are going too fast to put on the brakes. Then he says, rotate, and he pulls back on the yoke and the fucking nose goes up and up you go.

V1, V2, rotate. I've been in cockpits before. Oh my fucking God. Why? Are they burnt? They're gonna be good, aren't they? No, they're cooking perfect. You guys are gonna be...

How horny does that make you right now? Look at that. That doesn't do anything for me in that regard, Ricky. Oh, it's just a perfect pancake, whatever you call it. Perfect what? Spatula. Yeah, spatula. Spatula.

You got plates, Ricky? No. Where's the ketchup and the turnip? There's ketchup here. We got mustard. We need maple syrup. Oh, fuck, you're gonna have to give me some time for that one. You always gotta be so goddamn fucking picky, don't you? I'm not picky. He's picky.

I'm picky. You know, I think that can cook a little longer. Yeah, let him cook, man. Let those motherfuckers cook. Got a lot of meat and shit in there. The meat's already cooked, though. Yeah, but it's the meat's, you know, it's just a thick fucking pancake, man.

This is gonna be either really good or fucking really shitty. You guys are gonna be blown away at how fucking awesome these things are. Okay, I'm excited. What else is happening? What other plane facts? Oh my God. 41767 holds 1200 minivans worth of fuel. But it only takes 28 minutes to fill it up. See, I wish they had faster filler uppers at the gas station.

Oh, did you ever see the nozzle that fills an airplane? No. No. Fucking hoses that big around, Ricky. I wish I had faster filler uppers at the gas station. Oh, did you ever see the nozzle that fills an airplane? No, no. What fucking hose is that big around, Ricky? I wish I had one of those. What do you mean? I don't know what he means. Just fill up my car or whatever. It'd just be a lot faster.

The hose that fills an airplane, the fucking nozzle's like that. They just put her in the wing and the fucking super pump just pumps her in. It's like a fire hydrant, right? It's like bigger than a horse cock. Way bigger than a horse cock. Faster, stronger. I mean a horse cock has some girth but he's still only got a, you know... How many horse cocks have you fucking checked out, Bubz? Like seriously.

Well, I mean anything that's like that, it's gonna have the whole... The difference is, Julian, a horse cock has a tube down the center of it, whereas an airplane gas fueler, it's pretty much as big around as the whole hose. That'd be cool. A horse cock doesn't have a thin wall like that. It's got a piss hole. And then a piss hole that big. Nothing does. A horse cock doesn't have a thin wall like that. It's got a piss hole. And then a piss hole that big.

Nothing does. Except a gas line fueler for airplanes. Okay, what about a straw? But that's not a horse cock, is it? It's not a horse cock, bud. Yeah, you're right. That would be cool if your cock didn't have anything inside it.

It was just all open. Like a straw. That'd be crazy. Why would you want that, Ricky? Just the speed. The speed of what? Everything that comes out of it. Okay, so that was me.

How do you like to have a big straw to a cock? Imagine the sound when you're taking a piss. You'd be like. Under piss. Ah, shit. Don't worry about itpiss. Oh, shit. Don't worry about it, man. I don't like that sound. Yeah, this side of the grill must be more hot.

Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. She's an uneven grill. Fuck's sakes. It's a lopsided George Foreman. I think it's still eatable. I want the good one. I'll eat one of the brown ones. I don't give a fucks. I call dibs on the good one. I'll eat one of the brown ones. I don't give a fuck.

I call dibs on the good one. I don't give a fuck's ass. Do you have any maple syrup? I'm going to have to look for that one. Probably up there. What do you got to talk about? Fuck, why am I the only one talking here? You know what?

There's shit all going on, man. The fucking playoffs are still going on. I'm staying up late watching hockey. Would jam be good on them? No. I'm staying up late watching hockey. Jam? Would jam be good on them? No. Mmm. I'm leaning towards no, man. Maybe, though. There's beer.

We should put jam on a hot dog, bubs. There's barbecue sauce. I'm going straight up ketchup, man. There's honey mustard. Honey mustard might be nice. Well, you can try it if you like. Honey mustard would be all right, yeah? Excuse me.

Honey miele. Honey miele. Get her some paper plates. Those aren't paper plates, Rick. They're just a napkin. Paper towel. All right, I'm checking these fuckers out, man. Yeah, I might be fucking this up.

No, I don't think you are. Oh yeah, they're looking good. Move these two fuckers over there. Bring the ones that need some heat over here. Good call, man. You need to get some fucking heat management going, man. Where the fuck would the grill say, hey, over here, I'm hotter?

Well, probably, do you have this burner on underneath it still? Oh, shit, that's what did it. Like, turn that off. Fucking Jesus. Bob, shit. You don't want to know, man. You don't want to touch this thing. I had double grill going on. This'm out of my grip. I don't want to touch this thing, though, for a while. I had double grill going on.

This was heating up so bad. That's why these guys cooked up so quick. Maybe it's a good thing. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know for sure. Oh, shit. What?

Look at that. There you go. Maple syrup. I got some chocolate syrup, too. Maybe you want some chocolate on to it. No, I don't. Okay. I want maple.

All right, son, what did Tom Green put on his fucking spaghetti? Chocolate sauce. Chocolate sauce and lobster. With lobster. Fuck, that's gross. That was a weird one. I tried it. Yeah, lobsters and chocolate sauce.

A Boeing 787 can fly 10,000 miles in one tank of gas. Yeah? That's crazy. That's a lot, man. 787 can fly 10,000 miles in one tank of gas. Yeah. That's crazy. That's a lot, man. 787 Dreamliner. Go around the world, you only have to fill up how many times? 10,000 miles. It could make it almost all the way around. Two tanks, you go right around.

That's crazy. You've been on a Dreamliner. Did you know that? Nope. Yeah, we were on one two times. Did we dream? Bowen 787 Dreamliner, we've been on them. You're fucking shitting me, man.

I was never on a Dreamliner. You were on a Dreamliner, my friend. Do you dream more when you're on one of those or no? The Air Canada ones, do you remember the windows and there's no blinds but you push a button and it just turns black? That's the Dreamliner. What is it, the 787 Dreamliner? Yeah, man.

787 Dreamliner. Didn't they stop making those fucking things? No, it's brand new, Ricky. Yeah, I thought they were done with them. I don't think so, but there was some talk that some people at the Boeing factory were saying they're not great with the leaving wrenches inside the fucking engines and things. Yeah, that's not cool, man. Fuck.

No, you don't want to be flying with a fucking wrench in your jet engine, believe me. I've dropped enough wrenches into enough jet engines. It would make it easier to fix. One of you. Just right there. Pups. I? You can't blurt something like that out

and expect to get away with it, man. Why? You've thrown fucking wrenches into jet engines. I've dropped enough wrenches

accidentally into enough jet engines Whose fucking jet engine? Different ones. Let's see. I've worked on different jets.

I'm calling bullshit on that one, man. Did you ever work on Jack Travolta's? No. The Snowbirds, I worked on their jets. No, you did not. The Blue Angels wanted me.

They wanted you to what? I was at an air show and the Blue Angels heard that I was there and they wanted me to look at the engine. Puffs. And I looked at it and I tripped and I dropped wrench in, blew the fucking arse right out of her. You're such a fucking liar, man.

That happened. You've never worked on a Blue Angel fucking jet before. Me and the Blue, I know a lot of the Blue Angels. I think you weren't working on the jets, you were working on parts of them, maybe. In the cockpit. That's what you were doing. No, I didn't drop a wrench into a Blue Angel.

No, you were in the cockpit, cocking around, grabbing the shift, gear shift. I'll dump a bowl of cheese on you and don't think I won't. Well, stop fucking lying, man, because you've never worked on a jet. I never worked on a Blue Angel's jet, you know that. Yeah, no shit. I told you, that's what I'm trying to say. I could, though.

I could fucking pull the engine out of an F-18, drop a new one in. It's just hoses and fucking ball bearings. I know, Bobbs. Could you build one? No, I couldn't build one. What have you got off the tires? I mean, I could build a close facsimile, but I can't promise it wouldn't explode.

I think one of these might be fucking close to being... All right, Bobbs....ready for some... You tell me what the fuck that is all about. So... This is a hot dog... Pancake. ...pancake. No, it definitely needs maple syrup.

No, I'm throwing ketchup the fuck on. No, ketchup. See, I'm even... You got a bowl, Ricky? Thanks, man. What kind of a bowl? A bowl and a fork would be nice. So that I could properly...

You know what? I have all that stuff, but I don't know where it is. Because what happens is I let all my dishes get... dirty. I keep telling you, use one drawer for all your forks and knives. I know, but then when it's empty, and then I forget which drawer I used.

You know what I mean? You got forks in every fucking drawer in your house. I found forks in your sock drawer. Fuck sakes. What else do you need, man? A fork. Right here. Just eat the thing like a hot dog.

No, I want to try some different condiments onto it. Ketchup's the way to go, man. I'm going to try maple syrup first. Put some of that in there. See, I'm on the fence. I think either one maple syrup first. Put some of that in there. See, I'm on the fence. I think either one might be good. Definitely ketchup, man. Ketchup. Caught up, mate.

That's a good fucking pancake, dawg. Dog cakes. Dog cakes. Wait till you fuck this over, Ricky. You know what these taste like. What do you think's better, ketchup or fucking maple syrup? Ketchup, man. Ketchup. It's an interesting...

The maple syrup's nice. Believe me. Put some of that shit on there, man. All right, I'll try both. Try a bit of ketchup now, bubs. You gotta like change your fucking... What's going on in your brain? You know what you should do?

You should mix ketchup, maple syrup, 50-50. You know what I think you need to do? You need to decide if you want to feel like you're eating breakfast or lunch. Or lunch. I'm totally in the lunch mode, and this is delicious, man. If you're in lunch mode, then yes, you would go ketchup if you're in breakfast mode.

Ketchup's not too fucking bad. Ketchup's good, man. Go in lunch mode, then yes, you would go ketchup. If you're in breakfast mode... Ketchup's not too fucking bad. Ketchup's good, man. Go into lunch mode. All right, I'm going into breakfast mode. Two different things, though, isn't it? Mm-hmm. Maple syrup's better? Maple syrup, way better.

Oh, my fuck. Way better. Ketchup doesn't compute. Well, I'm eating ketchup. That's why I started eating these fucking things. Oh, man, maple, not, doesn't compute. Well, meat and ketchup. That's why I started eating these fucking things. Maple syrup is fucking good on those. A pancake is supposed to have maple syrup.

I just would never picture a fucking pancake with pickles and onions and a wiener. Oh, there's pickles in that too, isn't there? And cheese. There's cheese. I forgot about cheese. These are fucking great, boys. You know what? All right. We should make these every Wednesday night or Friday night. isn't there? It was cheese. I forgot about cheese. These are fucking great, boys. You know what? We should make these every Wednesday night

or Friday night. Good call on the pickle-pakes. Pickle-pakes. They should be renamed to pickle-pakes. Dog-bake or dog-cake? Dog-cakes. Dog-banks.

Pickle-pakes. Pickle-pakes. All right, that's it. Are we done? We're done. Let's eat our pickle pigs. Fuck, I need some more ketchup. Fuck you guys and your maple syrup.

Fuck your ketchup. Fuck your maple syrup. Right in the eye of your cock. Maple syrup, baby. Canadian.