Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 70 - Jowi Taylor’s Ultimate Canadian Guitar

Episode Date: December 5, 2016

Award-winning broadcaster and writer Jowi Taylor joins the podcash to talk about the DECENT guitar he built using bits and pieces of Canadiana including Wayne Gretzky’s hockey stick and Pierre Trudeau’s canoe paddle. Bubbles rips out a few tunes with it, and… Ricky sings?! Episode 70 is brought to you by the Official Trailer Park Boys Store, and Neat 'King Bee' microphones!    

All right. Welcome to the podcast. Podcast number 73, Burke Boys. Pretty exciting one today. I'm very excited. You're? Well, I usually, I start it off, Bubz, all the time. He's excited.

Yeah, but why'd you have, you could have asked, like, Julian, do you mind? Can I do this? Oh, it's your fucking podcast now, is it? Okay, it's PodCash. S-H. Okay? Just get that straight. It's PodCash.

What's going on, fuckers? The official Trailer Park Boys, PodCash. Coming at you. Let's go, pups. It's just a dumb name is we don't make any fucking cash. Well, we're going to sometime. Sometime we're going to make cash. At some point we will make cash. Well, I'm excited.

I'm excited. We have a very special guest today. Joey Taylor's here. What's going on, Joey? How you doing? Good. How are you? It's not Joey. It's Joey. on, Joey? How you doing? Good. How are you? It's not Joey, it's Joe-ee. Joe-ee, right? It's Joe-ee. That's it. You got it.

Joe-ee. He's got it. Joe-ee. No, Ricky, it's just spelled different. J-O-W-I, but it's pronounced Joe-ee. So W is silent? Yes. It is.

Ricky, don't argue with the man about his fucking how to say his name I wasn't arguing with him, I was arguing with you It's Joey, right? It's Joey The silent W See, that's what's wrong with English They fuck you around with weird spellings of shit Who cares, Ricky

That's not why he's not here Because of his name Well, I guess kind of. Kind of? This is your book right here. Six String Nation. So, I mean, I was gonna try to explain this to people, but... Impossible.

You probably should just do it. You have a guitar that's built out of 64 pieces. I got it right here. You got it right there. It's fucking awesome. You want me to... Bring her up there. See, 64 pieces. Yeah got it right here. You got it right there. It's fucking awesome. You want me to... Bring her up there. 64 pieces.

Yeah, he's been... Well, first let's get into the story a little bit about this fucking guitar. Yeah, because he would tell us... It's an incredible story. Wait, is there theme music or anything? We can add some later, man. We can add some. What would you like? You know, something, you know, something Kanuck-y.

Something Kanuck-y? Yeah. Okay, can you... Do you have the magical power of saying something Kanuck-y right now? No,uck-y? Yeah. Okay, can you, do you have the magical power saying something Kanuck-y right now? No, let's do a nice, like, you know, even some sort of Sunnyvale chant or something like that would be good.

All right. How about Lekker and Horst? That's a good one. That's a good one. Okay, go for it. Lekker and Horst. This is the music from the story? Lekker and Horst.

We can lay it under, though. I guess so. Maybe some hip. Maybe we'll put some hip under this. Perfect. Yeah, some hip. Hopefully Chipper doesn't fuck that up. He'll fuck it up.

Okay, cue the music. Okay, so tell us the story now. This guitar. So this was an idea that I had back in 1995 and took 11 years to do uh with the help of a very fine luthier here in nova scotia yeah and uh named george rosani i know who that is he built really nice yeah well he built he did a really awesome job with this one too um but so this was this dream that I had to build a guitar that would tell everybody's story about Canada from a whole bunch of different perspectives, and different communities and characters and cultures in every part of the country. Decent.

And all kinds of people contributed to all kinds of amazing things, and I had all kinds of amazing adventures getting that stuff. all kinds of amazing adventures getting that stuff. And now it's been, you know, traveling around the country and it's been played by just about everybody. So there's 64 pieces in the thing, right? Like cool things that are jammed together to make a guitar. Friggin' really cool things. Part of Wayne Gretzky's hockey stick, bubs.

What? You kidding me? Rocking with Sharad's gold from his ring. Stanley Copperman. Seriously. In that thing right there. Right there. Let's get the fucking thing up there.

Let's show everybody. I know what you're thinking right now. You are not stealing the man's guitar. There's no way I would ever steal his guitar. Can I just tell you? Or any piece of it. I have been terrified of that. I bet.

No, don't worry. We won't let him hear it. Don't just get the guitar up there. It would be a hard thing for an insurance company to replace. Well, don't worry. We won't let him in here. Okay. If you were in a... Don't just... Get the guitar up here. It would be a hard thing for an insurance company to replace. Well, this is the thing. You'd have a hard time unloading it.

That's what I was... All right, let's move this away from this precious fucking guitar, guys. Don't want to spill anything on it. It's fucking awesome. Trying to unite the nation with a guitar. So, should I start with the stuff that, you know... Maybe I should start with stuff that you don't know. Sure.

We need to do some stuff that you do... Okay, here's one of my I should start with stuff that you don't know. Show off. Some stuff that you do. Okay, here's one of my, I'm gonna show you one of my favorite things here. This little circle of wood right here. Yeah. That's the handle of the oyster shucking knife, the champion oyster shucking knife of Joe LeBeaub

from Lenox Island, First Nation PEI. He was Canada's oyster shucking champion for a couple years. Nice. Went to the big show in Galway, Ireland, came in second there. He kicked ass. So that's part of his knife right there. That's part of his shucking champion for a couple years. Yes. Went to the big show in Galway, Ireland. Came in second there. He kicked ass. So that's part of his knife right there.

That's part of his shucking knife right there. And he hasn't won a competition since because his knife is fucked. That's right. Is that true? That's right. It keeps jamming into his hand. Well, he's long gone, unfortunately. Let's see.

There's a couple strips you probably can't see. Two very, very thin strips that run right down the middle of the back here. Those are a bagel shiba from the Fairmont Bagel Bakery in Montreal, where they make, according to some, the best bagels. I've had those bagels in the area. Pretty damn good. Yeah, you have to kind of declare whether you're a San Vietor bagel person or a Fairmont bagel person, but Fairmont was the first.

Opened in 1919. Is that piece of wood real? Because it's quite a nice piece of wood. All this here? Or is it just hand painted? No, that is spalted oak. That's basically dead fungus. A couple hundred years worth.

From the oldest building in Winnipeg, the largest oak timber frame building in North America, where Louis Riel went to school. It's now the St. Boniface Museum. All of that stuff. That big piece? All of that and that. So what's holding the fucking thing up now that you cut the timbers out of it?

I know. It's surprising that it's even open. Did you? We took it right from the basement. Did you have an engineer do it, or did you just go in at night with a saw? You know who? Here's something cool. There's a piece in here.

It's inside. I can't really show it to you. From Sir John A. MacDonald's sideboard. I think we all know what that means. I don't. Cyborg? Well, I say it's cyborg. I think it's probably where he kept his booze in the office.

That's really cool. And literally, a senator and an MP went into the office and cut this little bit of wood out of the bottom, off of the back of it, and it's now inside. From closer to home here, those two dark strips there, those are from the deck of the Blue Nose II. Super cool. They said they were missing some wood from that.

Nancy Green Ski is right in there. The headstock here is a seat from Massey Hall. You guys have played Massey Hall, haven't you? We've been to Massey. There you go. That's one of the seats. So that's one of the seats, yeah. Because my uncle...

Seat 69, don't make any jokes. Seat 69? I don't know what that means, no. Yeah, after last week. We didn't. There was a guy we know went to Massey Hall, I know what that means now. Yeah, after last week. We didn't. There was a guy, a guy we know went to Massey Hall and he was complaining that he got a pinched nerve in his arse because the seat was missing a big chunk.

There it is. I kind of thought it would help with some of the little problems that people might have in those seats to leave a little gap there. There you go. The stem of the maple leaf here consists of four things. The one on the left is the top of Paul Henderson's stick from the 1972 Canada-Russia series. No way.

Isn't that a series? Awesome. That's cool. Awesome. Here's the best part about that, though, is that, so, you know, I knew I wanted something from Team Canada 72, and I'm trying to get through to them. They have an office at the Hockey Hall of Fame. I'm dealing with Ron Ellis, one of my heroes as a kid.

And after back and forth for a long time, he eventually says to me, well, we can give you a patch from a blazer. I'm like, dude, it's a guitar. Like, what do you want me to do with that? Was it a wooden blazer? Yeah, a wooden blazer. And then I bumped into a retired hockey agent named Marv Goldblatt at a party. Told him what I was trying to do.

He said, well, I know Paul Henderson. I'll give him a call for you. And like a week later, 8.30 in the morning, my phone rings. Joey, it's Paul Henderson calling. I just cut off the top of my stick from 72. What do you want me to do with it? Nice. It's kind of awesome. You should have kept that password. You could have put it inside though, huh? Yeah, exactly. You fucked up. Joey, you fucked up. I keep looking up. What can I say? I wonder what Henderson caught a piece of that stick off for me. I doubt it.

Now, it wasn't the one that scored the goal, but it was used in the game. It was used in game eight, yeah. Next to that, a piece of the Wildcat Cafe, the oldest building in Yellowknife, original building in Yellowknife. Next to that, a seat from the old Montreal Forum, and then one of Gretzky's sticks there.

That's cool. Right in there. That's one of Wayne's sticks right there. Right there. Pierre Trudeau's canoe paddle's right there. Is that code for something? Well, I like to think,

you know, Pierre Trudeau gave the country the finger that time. So, you know, this is kind of like returning the favor. Nice. Good idea, man. All of this right here is the only piece ever taken from a sacred and legendary tree called the Golden Spruce on Haida Gwaii.

It's a remarkable gift from the Haida people. That's cool. And then I think, oh wait a minute, are you Habs fans? No, you're Boston fans, aren't you? It's a mixture. Is it a mixture? Yeah. Because right there in the middle of the ninth fret,

so I like to think the ninth fret looks like one of Maurice Richard's eyes coming down the ice at you. The white of the eye is Moose Antler from Pick River First Nation. The blue is Labradorite from Nain. And then that little piece of gold is from the bottom of Maurice Richard's 1956 Stanley Cup brain. How cool is that? So cool.

Did you steal it? A friend of mine bought it for $8,000 US. Oh, jeez. Which I know his wife thought was a mistake. So can you just pop that thing out? I knew you would ask that. You're not popping out the piece of gold. I'm not gonna bust.

Why would you ask him if it pops out? Because, so, like, you don't want to keep something like that in there. If you want to pop it out, put it in a little safe or something, might be a good idea. Yeah, your pocket. I would lose it. I would lose it. It's safe. Right where it is, as a contact lens, maybe. I don't know.

Oh, eight grand? The fretboard is J.R.'s bar from Charlottetown. No way. I've got drunk there before. Yeah, I've been drunk there before. Decent. Good place to get drunk. A lot of liquor ingested off that front board.

More liquor in there too, I'm trying to think of what it is. Oh, I know what there is. You guys been to, have you been to the Hoito in Thunder Bay? That's the Finnish pancake house. You're going to Finland, right? Yes, we are, yeah. You're gonna have Finnish pancakes. They will stay with you.

You just have them the first day and they will stay with you for like the whole tour. In a good way or a bad way? Well, you know, that's to be decided. I will not be eating pancakes. What's the difference between a regular pancake and a finished pancake? Finished pancakes are super dense. They're really, really good. Like Ricky.

What does that mean? You're just dense, Ricky. You're like a finished pancake, Ricky. You're a finished pancake. Solid? Solid. Well're a finished pancake. Solid? Solid. Solid. Well, mostly your brain.

You're a solid fella, Ricky. I'll make you shit for two weeks. You can call him Panukakku now. What's that mean? Pancake. Finished. Oh, Panukakku. So the Hoito restaurant is in here, too.

Panukakku. Panukakku. I'm gonna order some Panukakku's as soon as I get there. What would be your first word. Your first word in Finnish. Decent. Panukakus. You say it as soon as you get off the plane. Panukakus. We're actually gonna be hanging out with Esa Tikkonen over there, I guess.

Speaking to Wayne Gretzky and his little Titan hockey stick. Yeah, that's gonna be alright. We'll get some panukcocco from him. You hope you will, bud. Don't mispronounce it, Ricky. Yeah, does he have a big pennecocco? Don't mispronounce it. I haven't seen it yet.

Just saying, you know, you're getting down and dirty with Assateekan, and you'll know it. Hey, I wanted to give you a copy of this book, by the way. Oh, we can keep that? Yeah, you can keep that. I signed it. I dedicated it. Oh, I wanted to give you a copy of this book, by the way. Oh, we can keep that? Yeah, you can keep that. I signed it. I dedicated it to you.

Oh, man, that's awesome. Awesome. So you can learn all about it. Look at that. Well, it's a really cool story, and I think it's an awesome cause. And, wait a minute, I got more for you, too. Guitar pick.

A souvenir guitar pick. Now, I gave one of these to Chris Hadfield. No way. And he took it up to the space station and brought it back for me and gave it back to me. So I have like a guitar pick. That's pretty special. It's pretty cool. I got a space pick.

Is this it? That's not the space pick. I kept that one. Oh, thanks, man. We got to meet Chris Hadfield. He was awesome. He's a good guy. Yeah.

He's fantastic. That's for you because you're the guitar man in the group. I figured you could, you know, you might want that for your guitar. He's fantastic. That's for you, because you're the guitar man in the group. I figured you could, you know, you might want that for your guitar. He definitely is. And then I didn't want you guys to feel left out, so I got you some cookies from the plane. Oh, man. That's nice. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I also got you these sani wipes too that you can make. Sani wipes? Fanny wipes? Yeah. You could use a couple of those. Medicated air swipes. Ricky, you brought your air swipes. Nice. So that's... Make it extra clean. That's unreal. That's unbelievable.

What other pieces are in it? You didn't name off 64, I know of those. No. Lucy Mob Montgomery's house. Oh, you forgot that one, did you? Fantan Alley from Canada's first Chinatown. John Ware, Alberta's first black cowboy. Oh, Johnny Ware, the black cowboy. Yeah, okay.

Decent. Yeah. That's from one of 38,000 wooden nickels salvaged from the second mate of the mist that burned in Niagara Falls in 1955. Don't take any wooden nickels, they say. Though I took one, though. You took one. So how many things on this guitar is actually like stolen property? Most of it. Most of it?

Nice. Yeah. Thought you'd be like that. Well, you couldn't just take that into a pawn shop or anything. They would have a hard time unloading it, I think. Yeah. Because everyone knows it at this point.

I want to know how it sounds. Yeah. Do you play? You must play the guitar. I do not play the guitar. I can sound check. That's it. I can just... That's about it.

That's going to have to be... I don't want somebody to play the guitar. I don't want somebody to play this. Look at that. Don't fucking break it. Don't. Yes, don't screw it up. Maybe we could add a piece of my shed play this. Look at that. Don't fucking break it. Don't. Yes, don't screw it up. Maybe we could add a piece of my shed to this.

Oh, yeah. Thing. Oh, it's a nice sounding guitar, too. It sounds really good. Jesus, Murphy. Just for that, Ricky. So, you know what? This guitar was just sort of built out of all kinds of stuff.

Yeah. So I think we should just build a song. Let's just build a song. Let's make up a song. I'll play. You sing, Ricky. I can't sing. No, you can sing great.

No, I can't. You sing the theme song to that show. You can do it. If Julian makes sing. No, you can sing great. No, I can't. You sing the theme song to that show. If Julian makes up some words, then I'll sing. Julian, make up, give me some lyrics. That's a good Canada song. Just give me some lyrics for a chorus for a Canada song. How about this? Canada, you are the greatest country in the world.

Canada. That's already a song. Who sings it? I don't know. Sing about Canada, Ricky. I need another drink, bubs. That does sound good. Here, Ricky.

Oh, yeah. There we go. Nice. We're supposed to start? Yeah, well, you were supposed to, but we were all supposed to, I think. I just thought you might. It's sticky down here. Yeah, it is. Better bottle your Q finger up. It's the start of another new year.

Better go in this big row. Till 54 or something. And a pocket half a beer. All right. I got a call in this big road Two fifty for a something And a pocket half for a beer Alright. Wow. You said you couldn't sing. Well, yeah. I'm telling you, you can sing.

Only when I've got three drinks in me. Canada That's when I started to play pool well. Yeah, but then five and you started playing not so good. Yeah, but then pretty and pleasing. She said, hey boy, we should do some marrying I said sure But before we do There's something

that you should know I like liquor and more Liquor and more Sick and tall Bad monster and lonely Liquor and more All right. That sounded pretty good.

That's wicked, buddy. You're going to try stealing. I know you are. That's a weapon Steal it You're gonna try Steal it I know you That's an awesome Sounding guitar too Look at that So that's Wayne Gretzky's

Stack Decent I think it's super cool He's trying to bring The country together It needs it right now The country's fucked So that's what

That's what's going on With this guitar You're going across The country What's the story Behind this Yeah. You're going across the country. What's the story behind this? Yeah, so I talk to, I go to schools and festivals and community events and conferences, and I tell the story of it with a whole bunch of pictures.

And then everyone gets a chance to play it. So it's been played by thousands of people at this point. That's amazing. You know, Gordon Lankwood's played it, and K-non's played it, and Weiss has played it, and... Wow. You know... Bubbles has played it. Bubbles has played it. Rob Baker's played it.

Decent. Bobby Baker played this guitar? Yeah. From the hip? Yeah. Decent. And then a whole bunch of kids, too, you know. There you go. Alex Lifes There you go Alex Lifeson Alex has not played it yet

He needs to I'll kidnap him for you That would be awesome I have a real sweet story about Alex Lifeson I don't want to tell you it's a long story But I think he's a sweet guy. Great man. I would love for him to play this guy.

Bubs, don't fuck around today. This is a positive show. You're going to start a fight. I don't need a chicken to live. Why would you do that, man? Have you ever been hit in the head with a rubber chicken? Yes, I have, by you. Many times.

Many times. You've got to get Alex Lyson to play this guitar. That would be decent. Alex Lyson around a campfire I think that would be ideal What's your Alex Lyson story? I'd love to hear that Oh, just that A guy that I knew

Who went to school With Alex And had been an actor And had kind of fallen on hard times And he used to drink at the bar where I worked and one day he told me you know I decided to ask Alex for some money and I thought man that's gonna kill that friendship and then but he set it all up and Alex came and met with him at the restaurant and I arrived for my shift and there was this guy sitting at the bar and I said how to go with Alex today and he said before we even got started he said he

calculated that I helped him write one of the songs on the record and he calculated the royalties for me and he gave him a check without him even asking he found a really beautiful way to do it. That's pretty amazing. Yeah, totally. Wow. So decent. He's a decent fella. Yeah. I mean, he could have... Despite everything you hear about him not being cool and awesome,

he's actually pretty cool. You don't hear anything. Where do you hear that? Yeah, where do you hear that? Well, I don't know. Some people say that, I guess. No, you say that. You say that

because you kidnapped the man. That's what he said, but I didn't. I borrowed him for a concert. Did he know? He didn't know what was gonna happen. No, he kidnapped him. Kidnapped him, and then when the police were gonna get him,

he told everybody that he was a male prostitute. Well, I can kind of see it, I suppose. Well, I can see it now after meeting him. He could very well be a male prostitute, but he wasn't at that point, and you kidnapped him. You just don't take people, right? All right, fair enough. well-being male prostitute but it wasn't at that point and you kidnapped him you just don't take people right all right fair enough anyways he's a good guy I guess how's it going buffs it's going decent I'm loving this guitar beautiful

I'd like to keep that I can't though I know I wish I could leave it with you just for some songwriting but I got some people actually writing some songs on it right now. So if I give you a piece of my shirt off there, you think you could glue her on there somewhere? No, but you know what? I really like all your style in shirts. So if maybe I've added some stuff to the case and the strap

and a little bit of there, a little bit of there. Well, you've got to get some of your piping in there. Oh, man, because this, well, this got ripped off my shirt. Oh, yeah. I had a fight with Randy the other day. I recognize that shirt. Ricky, that got ripped off your shirt? Yeah, fucking Randy grabbed on it.

Well, that could definitely be going on. Yeah, definitely. We'll put that on the strap. Yeah, well, I would love to give you that. It'll be part of the case, man. Thank you very much. I'll give you a piece of this if you want, man. I recognize this from Berlin, I think.

You were wearing this in Berlin, weren't you? Or in England. You're in London. Probably. It's been all over the world, that shirt. I'm going to pull a piece off my shed, and we're going to glue it right on the front. I think it'll be beautiful.

Screw gun it right to the front. You're going to ruin that beautiful guitar. Ruin the fucking guitar. I don't ruin it. It's a nice piece of wood. I use nice wood. Oh good, as long as it's wood. And not aluminum shit. No, no, it's beautiful wood. No, no, it's not aluminum shit. I used to have one of those and I almost fucked myself to death.

It gets awful hot in there in the summer. Hey, by the way, I just want to show you this because this is beautiful. This might be where, if I can get some, maybe I'll put it right there from you guys, but that there is from the jersey of the Vancouver Asahi, Japanese Canadian baseball team from the mid-1930s. Wow. Vancouver Asahi?

Yeah, all Japanese Canadian baseball team. Cool. I didn't even know there was one of those. It's good beer. It is. I'm with you though, I'm not into the beer sadly. No, it's much better for you. I love Japanese Asahi.

I also like Gyoza. We're supposed to talk about this stupid store thing again. Are you kidding me? What's the, Where do you go? Goddamn sponsors. Just go to trailerparkboys.com, you hit the merch button, and you shop. But guess what? Today and all weekend, it's all

day madness. Free shipping on orders over 35 euro, 35 Canadian US, 30 PDS, whatever the hell that is. Why do they, why do they have to do this? I don't know. It's terrible.

Are you getting paid to do this? You said you would pay me. No, no, I didn't say I'd pay you. You said you would give me 12 beer if I read that and tried to put some feeling into it, which I did. I did. I can say that. The feeling. So you're responsible for this.

Don't miss the all-day madness. There, 12 beer. Let's go. That was passion. All weekend. Well, you're supposed to do it for another couple episodes. We'll see. No, that's in the contract.

Give me some beer and we'll talk about it. Ricky, that wasn't passion. There was no passion in that. You're not getting the beer. Depends who you ask. The passion of the Christ. Remember that movie? The passion of the Christ? The passion of the Christ. Remember that movie? The Passion of the Christ?

The Passion of the Christ. Remember that Mal Gibson movie? Oh, I do remember that. He was... Well, Buzz, why don't you read it and show him how it's done? I threw it away. He threw it away. I'm a Peabody Award winning broadcaster. I'll do it for you. There you go. Uncrap that fucking thing. Get him to move it.

You might have wanted to mention that. Did you really win a Peabody award? I did indeed. Are you kidding me? Well, fuck. Sorry, I should have mentioned it right off the top. Probably. I guess, what is this?

What week is this, Rick? Top one, the middle one? There you go. Stuff at the bottom for Friday, Saturday, Sunday. December. December. It's madness. Here it is.

It's all day madness for Friday, Saturday, Sunday. December. December. It's madness. Here it is. It's all day madness. There we go. Free shipping with over PDS 30, whatever that is again. All you got to do is spend 35 euros, 35 Canadian or US dollars. Free shipping on anything at trailerparkboys.com in the store. Go to the fucking merch session. It's the store. That's passion. That was good. That was pretty good.com in the store. Go to the fucking work session. It's the store. That's passion.

That was good. That was pretty good. I did my best. That's passion. Right there. Yeah, I know. That warmed me up. Right on.

Does he get 12 beer? I just gave him that one glass of water. Well, it was up there. Now it's right there. He took a sip. He's happy. Where's the darkest place where you have the best chance of seeing a UFO?

You've been all over Canada. Yellowknife in winter. In winter? We're going, boys. Actually, Finland will be pretty dark over here. We're not going to Yellowknife. Because apparently if you see a UFO, it makes you really super horny. What? Yeah, that's what it's saying here.

Well, I must be seeing them all the time then. Yeah, that's what it's saying here. Well, they must be seeing them all the time then. 37% of Panamanians felt sexual desire after seeing a UFO. There must be a lot of fucking UFOs in the Panamanians. What's it saying? They saw UFOs and got all... 37% of them that saw a UFO made them really sexually horny. They all, they have that vibrating thing. I just want to see if it works. They hum. They got excited and then... Sexually horny. Well, you know, they all have that vibrating thing.

I just want to see if it works. They hum. They get excited and then... Oh, it's because of the shape of the thing. Look at it. Look at that. It's shaped like a what? Something you'd put something inside of? Well, look. It's got that with the hole in the center. And a boob on top.

Yeah. That's...no wonder. I guess they're into some weird things. What do you mean, no wonder, Pops? No wonder that would make people excited. What do you... what does that look like? What is it supposed to look like? You know what it looks like. It looks like a frisbee. With a light at the bottom.

No. You're saying that looks like a part of a chick's body? That? From here? That's to me. You've never seen an angry woman in real life? Looks like a flashlight. Ever.

Looks like a flashlight. A flashlight. It's kind of fucked up, Bubz. All like you don't know what a flashlight is. What is a flashlight? Yeah, what is a flashlight? I've never seen one. There's one right there.

That's a flashlight. I never ordered one. You guys don't know what you're talking about. I never ordered one that came without any markings on the package. Uh-oh, here comes a flip. You've never owned one at all? You've never even touched one before, Bubbs? I've not touched a flashlight, that's for sure. I don't have two of them.

A flashlight? Did you find out what it is? A what? A flashlight. You want me to look that up? Why not? This show is so fucked, you guys. Flash.

It's educational. Light. They should be our sponsor. Flashlight. Flashlight. Flashlight. Light. They should be our sponsor. Fleshlight. Fleshlight. Wikipedia, they'll know. Holy fuck, Bob. Are you kidding me?

What? That's what a fleshlight is? I don't even know what one is. How do you know about this shit? I don't even know about this shit. What is it? I don't even know what one is. It's a pocket pussy.

A flashlight? It's not, is that what it is? It is, man. It's different sleeves, they say. It looks like a great big flashlight, you just, I've been told. Yeah, what the fuck, yeah. You screw the end off it and- That's a pocket pussy.

There's like four different kinds there. Why do you, okay, I guess it's different shapes and sizes, but fuck. It's hidden in a flashlight. Yeah. I thought you guys were totally fucking with me. I can't believe you... Flashlight.com. What have you been reading?

And searching on fucking the internet? Flashlight.com. I don't... You stay away from that shit. I swear, I thought that's what these were. Oh, really? All right, so you guys... Those are beer cozies, man.

Like, if you... Here, if you want to take one with you. Instant flashlight. I appreciate that. I'll try not to use it on the plane. It's been a pleasure, Joey. Oh, thank you so much, man. I have to go...

use it. Use the flashlight? No, I wish... I don't have one. Where is yours, bubs? I don't have one. You have one. You probably have a dozen of them.

I don't. They're expensive. How do you know that? Ha! Bubs, you've got to get off the internet, man. Fleshlight.com, they're about 80 bucks. I don't have one of those. 80 bucks.

But they're easy to build. All right, well, I'm going to leave you guys here with the Fleshlight. You guys have fun. It's good meeting you. Good luck with your job, man. I'm out of here. It's Christmas time. Three weeks to Christmas.

Thank you. Right on. Time to make some money. We're going to get that piece of Ricky's shirt right there. Beautiful. We're going to get a piece of my shed. Screw that right to the front. Absolutely.

All right, we'll see you next week.