Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 75 - A Greasy Look Back at 2016

Episode Date: January 6, 2017

Bubbles is off in a cabin in the woods with his kitties (paid for by Julian), and Ricky and Julian are reminiscing about all the DECENT podcashes from 2016. From celebrity guests to amazing musicians, to dickhead guests like Randy, it’s been a hell of a year! PLUS: Ricky tries out his new art set! Episode 75 is brought to you by the Official Trailer Park Boys Store, and Neat 'King Bee' microphones!        

All right, you gonna do this with me or am I gonna do the whole fucking podcast by myself? Are you ready? I'm ready to fucking go. Me too. Fucking very rested up. All right, what's going on, fuckers? This is the official Trailer Perk Boys podcast. It's coming at you right now.

Episode number 75. It is 2017. We've been doing a lot of cheers in the last couple weeks. Yes, Happy New Year. One more Happy New Year. It's been a good year so far. Thank fuck. Yeah.

All right, well, I'm the host, I guess, for today. The only host. And, well, Bubbles isn't here, so maybe I should just take his chair. Where'd you fucking send him again? Alright, for Christmas, you know, everybody was giving me a hard time about, you know, you don't like Christmas and blah blah blah, all that horse shit. I sent Bubbles on a three day little trip to a place called Hadfield Farms. Alright, it's about a half hour from Sunnyvale.

He brought his kitties with him, he was able to get 15 kitties, 15, 16 kitties to go out with him. He's in a little cabin on a farm in the woods for three days. Well, isn't that fucking nice? Well, I thought I'd do something nice. How come you didn't send me with him? Because he said you've been a dick lately. That's why. I got a little carried away over the holidays.

Oh, man. My body's basically telling me, man, you gotta fucking slow it the fuck down or you're gonna get dead. No shit. So there's been a lot of predictions you made, well, a bunch of predictions

for 2017, like volcanoes and all that shit. It's not gonna happen. Well, we'll see. Not gonna happen. You also predicted that you're not gonna

go to jail or something. You predicted that I was gonna go to jail first thing in the new year right after midnight, and you were wrong. It wasn't first thing. It was one minute after 12, which means we were right. It was 12.30 by the time I was in the fucking car

and going to the drunk tank. Anyway, I didn't expect to go to jail right away. Anyway. 2017 was kind of fun. Fucking wicked New Year's party in jail when I got there. What the fuck is this? Those guys were pretty banged up. I fucking went till about 3.30.

It's crazy. Private. Bubbles private diary. What? What the fuck is this thing? I don't know what it says. Man, don't open it. Cats.

I love them. That's number one. Come on. Cats, I love them. Okay's number one. Cats, I love them. Okay, here's the next one. This is from, okay, January 1st. Dear Diary, today Ricky was a dick. He thinks he's so cool.

Bullshit. You wrote that. Some kids called me a nerd today and hurt my feelings. Bubbles. No, that was a fucking, see, I'm glad I see. Give me that. No, no, no. Now I fucking know how he really feels

It's Cox he does talk about clocks an awful lot He's got another one Anyway you think that you think you know, so I would go to jail and get rest but Fuck man boys are partying harder than ever. It's crazy. I'm just glad to get the fuck out of there, to be honest. I was thinking about maybe going back for about a month just to try to get in shape and work out every day and stuff. It's just everybody's partying too much in jail now, man. I don't know if I can do it.

If this fucking warm weather keeps up, I'll stay out of jail, but if it starts getting cold as a fucking whore, I'm going to have to go back, bud. What the fuck are you drawing, man? I'm drawing a fucking gerbil. A gerbil? A gerbil?

Yeah, you be ready for 2017 there, baby, because I've been fucking studying and reading shit. What have you been reading? I predict I'm going to win seven out of ten fucking games this year. So I'm getting fucking prepared. How to feng shu your garden? What the fuck is that? I haven't read it yet. Feng shu. What the fuck is feng shu? Hopper is a guy to creating and maintaining a feng shu garden. What the fuck do you want a feng shu garden for? See, after I read that, and the fucking questions are coming, hey, what's a Fengshu Garden? I'll say, what is, because I'm going to know,

and you'll be like, I don't have a fucking clue. You won't even be able to ring in. Well, you don't have a clue, man. I don't have a clue what a Fengshu Garden is. Is it like Mr. Miyagi? There's bonsai trees or something. Anyway, I hope the fuck these podcasts are going to be a fuck of a lot better than last year's

because I think they could have... You weren't very professional. Bubbles was okay. What do you mean I wasn't very professional? I'm the one that basically held this fucking podcast together, man. Like, how can you say that? Well, you're fucking... You should be the one reading because the way you were answering some of those questions,

I fucking kicked your ass. What, the Jeopardy ones? Like, fuck. I was the champ. I am the champ. No. Some of the guests won. I won a lot.

You won once or twice, maybe. I won, like, most of the fucking time. But your answers were fuck. My answers were good, and you guys were fucking taking it easy on the guests because you want to be friends with them or something because they're fucking celebrities. Whatever. Fuck that. At least when I answered, I fucking knew the fucking right answer. Your answers were always, fuck, Ricky.

Nope. Prove it. Let's just show something right now. Chipper? Go ahead. We'll see who's fucking stupid and who's not. Just throw some clips on Chipper and show him how stupid he is. We gotta do this quick, then we're going to do jobs and I need to get my fucking car fixed. I'm gonna prove that I'm

the smartest person at this table and then we're going to do jobs. If I remember correctly, Julian didn't even get one right last game. I got one right. All my answers were fucking right. They all should have been one. Should have been the first fucking,

the top answer. You got some correct answers, but you didn't get the top answer in any category. Because if I had said those were the top answers, the top answer. You got some correct answers, but you didn't get the top answer in any category. Because if I had said those were the top answers, I wouldn't have... Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do for a hundred. Klugman's coroner. What? Klugman's coroner starts with a Q. What is that, a name?

They're referring to Jack Klugman. Quincy. Fucking right. Quincy. Oh, but you should. You were supposed

to form it in a form of a question. Who is Quincy? Who is Quincy? Ricky. No, no, no, man. Ricky, yes. I totally fucking forgot about the question part. You know, quite a form of a question. Who is Quincy? Who is Quin... Ricky!

No, no, no, man. Ricky, yes. I totally fucking forgot about the question, bro. There's no fucking way, man. He can own it to Jeopardy. There's no way. I should get that. Bob's.

Zoology for 100. Zoology. Got this one for sure. A turtle's... Shit. Come on, Ricky. What, Ricky? A turtle's what? You know I'm going to say cock. I don't know. It's probably wrong. It's not a turtle's... Oh, shit. Oh, come on, Ricky. What, Ricky?

A turtle's what? You know I'm gonna say cock. I don't know, it's probably wrong. It's not a turtle's cock, Ricky. Name a food you don't have to chew to swallow. Julian's in first. Jello. Jello.

Number one answer. Fuck! I was gonna say water. The fish sold as scrawrod are usually young haddock or these fish, which rhyme with scrod. Cod. What is cod? You getting rang in? What is cod?

He rang in. What is cod, Alex? Fuck off. Are you fucking, I didn't know, I forgot about that. I thought this was a family feud thing. You fuck, I didn't know, I forgot about that. I thought this was a family feud thing. Coppola based his Vietnam War epic Apocalypse Now... Oh, got it.

...on Heart of Darkness by this Polish-born author. Ricky! Who would suck my cock? I don't fucking know Polish authors. Name something that married women might be sick of doing. Ricky's in first. Oral. something that married women might be sick of doing. Ricky's in first. Oral. That's not on the list.

Rivers and Streams for 100. I think Rivers and Streams is in the game we played last week, Ricky. Fuck! It's the primary field of business which employs people called actuaries. Boy, this is easy. Ricky. River people.

Mmm. Mmm. Name a part of your body that it's impossible to lick. Your ass. Name something that is better when it's hot. Oral. Oral. Oral.

What's better when it's hot? When it's hot? Well, if it's cold, it would be. Yeah, explain cold oral and hot oral. Well, hot would be like if you're out in a blizzard, and you come in and have oral right away. It's going to be nice and oral and hot oral. Well, hot would be like if you're out in a blizzard, and you come in and have oral right away. It's going to be nice and warm and be awesome. Name something you wouldn't want to happen while giving a speech. You fucking kid.

Ricky! Get hit by thunder. I mean lightning. What's it going to do? What is the capital of California? Ricky's in for the steal. Ricky. San Frangelis.

Name something a dentist might put in your mouth. While you're under the gaster. I don't know. Oh, Julian's in first. Drill. Number one answer. Yeah! See, everybody's mind went to the gutter, got distracted from the obvious answer. How many wings does a dragonfly have?

Fucking hell! Julian, how many wings on a dragonfly? Four. Julian got a point for that one. Fuck. Is it four? I thought it was three. So he'd have two on one side. No, no. Two at the front and one at the back like a helicopter. No. What is it? Is it four? Yes. Two on each side.

Two on each side. At the biplane. No. These are both excellent questions. Name a place you visit where you aren't allowed to touch anything. Julian! Corey was in! Julian's house.

True. That is true, Corey, but it's not on the list. Julian. Museum. Ding ding ding! Number one answer! Oh shit! Here we go. Open Potables for 200. The answer is, never swallowing, they sip, swish, gargle, then spit out what they sample.

Hookers. Or what is a hooker? No, it's not a hooker. It wasn't nice, man. It wasn't nice. See, I was just telling you the truth. I was winning most of the fucking games. Yeah, but you and me,

I don't even remember saying any of those answers. Obviously, those days we played, I was banged up, you know, so that's not really fair to... I mean, I'm sure there was lots of other clips where I actually did fucking give some smart answers and probably won some, and you're not showing any of those. You're just showing me looking fucking...

I looked through a lot of the clips with Chipper, and there was not really a clip that you really had a good answer for, man. I was just... Well, I'm going to go through the footage, and I'm going to find the ones that I remember. Hey, you know what? Just because you said stupid answers

doesn't mean that you're stupid, okay? Doesn't it? No, it just means that you were banged up on whatever. You've been on the stuff you're smoking these days, man. You've got to fucking chill it out. You can't be doing mushrooms with it. Whatever on the stuff you're smoking these days, man. You gotta you gotta fucking chill it out. You can't be doing mushrooms with it. Whatever the fuck else

you're doing. Since I got out of jail a couple days ago I said I'm gonna fucking try to take it easy in 2017. I'm not gonna smoke dope eight times a day.

And I'm not gonna fucking drink every day. We'll see about that. Well, I've only had one joint so far today. I'm wanting one really badly Yeah, how big was the joint? Was it one of these?

If it was one of those, man That's like ten joints Well, I didn't say how big they were going to be I just said I would smoke, not eat Okay, well, it doesn't matter how many you smoke Just keep smoking and doing what you're doing Because it actually makes the podcast better But, you know what? It's not about all Jeopardy games It doesn't matter how many you smoke. Just keep smoking and doing what you're doing because it actually makes the podcast better.

But you know what? It's not about all Jeopardy games and Family Feud or whatever else the fuck we're playing. There's things like the musical guests. There is other things that I would be smarter than you and everybody else at. Well, I'm talking... Look, I don't give a fuck about how smart you are, how stupid you are.

It doesn't matter to me. We're buddies. That's the main thing. And I'm just saying, the musical guests that we've had on this show have been a big part of the podcast. No shit. And you know what? When you're baked and a little banged up, you fucking enjoy it a lot more. I like fucking listening to music when I'm banged up.

We had some good ones. I'm even wearing this. This is for you, Bubz. When you watch this, the Rush hoodie that you like. Old school. I guess 2017 is the year Julian kisses Bubba's ass, is it? I wish he was here with us because he's into these podcasts and he likes Rush and he likes his sweater, so I'm wearing it.

Cheers, Bubbs. My guitar's been around. I've never seen it before. Not once have you brought your guitar, Bubbs. I often keep my guitar back there. We play at the fridge and the thing. I'm like the best boys, me and Ron Saksmith. This is pretty cool. Well, feel free to play along if you want.

Well, I think maybe you should, maybe first off. If you just play it, because I'm going to have to get my confidence going here. It's just in the key of E if you... confidence going here. It's just in the key of earfield. Well, I believe this time we blew this door the fat. Don't seem to matter where we are.

Cause you can read my mind and soon you will be there waiting in the getaway car. And even though the in-laws tend to make you want to hide. Wish you wouldn't take it so hard. Cause we'll be outlaws then like Bonnie and Clyde.

Speed up in the getaway car The very first rules that you learn in school Is that you shouldn't try to fool The people you're close to Now you're finally far gone I really should have known If I left you on your own Wouldn't do like you're supposed to

Ride you like Jason. Here Ricky. Oh yeah, there we go. Nice. We're supposed to start? Yeah, well, you were supposed to, but we were all supposed to, I think. I just thought you might.

It gets so sticky down here. Yeah, it is. Better bottle your Q finger up. It's the start of another new year. Better call in this big road till 54 or something. And a pocket half a beer. All right. Wow.

You know, Canada. You can sing. I'm telling you, you can sing. It's so hard getting by these days As an honest man I'm just trying to do my part Want to lend a hand Now when I need it I can't get no help I want to lend a hand. Now when I need it, I can't get no help. It's everybody just serving themselves.

Nobody's got time for an honest man. You said we should take it slow That's okay cause I wanna know Everything about you, girl What's the call in your world? In you I have truly found a love to call my own You're the one for me When every day with you is like Sunday morning

Every time we touch I feel brand new I could spend my days like this forever If it meant forever Spending every day with you every day with you guitar solo That's good, Mom. Sounds good.

All right. She's sitting there staring out a window Trying to figure out just what to do The last time that she gave her heart away It came back broken in two. And like an old abandoned car, she parked it down off a lonely avenue. And she forgot about it till the day that she laid her eyes on you. eyes on you. And a heart said fire it up. And a soul said fire it up. And a mind said fire it up. And let love live again.

Yeah, it was good hanging out with those guys, you know. That was fucking awesome. It was awesome. We're fucking lucky. We get to meet a lot of really fucking wicked people. We do. We do. But, you know, one thing I noticed, maybe for 2017, we can get some ladies on here. Because it's just been a big sausage party on this block.

It's a good idea. Like, more lady singers or actresses or whatever. That'd be cool. Or whoever, man. I like it. But, you know, we did have a lot of opportunities to meet people away from Sunnyvale, which was really cool. In Hollywood, we got to hang out with Tom Arnold and Vern.

Vern is fucking awesome. So is Tom. Wicked. Tom's got a lot of fucking energy, man. Like a lot. Yeah. Maybe he should smoke more of your weed just to chill him down a bit, because fucking energy. Yeah, those guys were awesome.

Maybe we should just show a couple of them fucking energy. Yeah, those guys were awesome. Maybe we should just show a couple of clips. Who else was good? Bobby Fairley. Bobby Fairley, yeah. Scott Thompson. Scott Thompson. I met those jackass guys. Holy fuck.

Yeah, they're fucking interesting. They were interesting dudes. They were a little banged up, I think. Corey Jarvis, the wrestler, he was fucking pretty cool. They were all pretty cool. I think you're hiding something. I believe that. I'm not hiding anything, guys. I do. I think you're hiding something. I believe that for you. I'm not hiding anything, guys.

I do. I think you're hiding like a fetish or something that you're embarrassed about. All right. I was seeing this chick. She works down at the aristocrat, okay? She had her nipples pierced, and I didn't know what to fucking do with them, really. I was just like, whoa. I wasn't expecting that.

What did you do with them? I just flicked them around a bit, man. I mean, what do you do with them? You flick them. Like, what the? I just flicked them around. I mean, what do you do with them? You flick them. Like, what the? I don't know, man. You're right. What else do you do with them?

I mean, seriously. Well, you mentioned about an electric charger. Yeah, that's the movies, man. That's the fucking movies. Give them a boost. Give them a boost, I'd say. That's probably what that move's called. I think it is called giving a boost.

Boosting. Yeah, boosting. Let's go back to house boosting. I'm talking about back in the late 80s. Everybody had roller skates, not roller blades. Not everybody had them, just people that were, you know, liked to put glitter on and fancy suits. You know, it's real nice of you guys to embarrass me in front of Bob.

Huh? Real nice. Was it, like, tight pants or leggings or what was the... Bobby, go fuck yourself, alright? I've never competed, I've never had... No, man. Jesus Christ. I'll see if I can dig up a picture.

Oh yeah, okay. No, but don't you get chipper fucking doing a Photoshop. No. A little glittery tutu on roller skates. I wouldn't. I'll see if I can dig up one of the pictures, one of Julian's pictures from his hippie mess. This should be nice. Oh, fuck off.

Ricky. Male camel talk. That's a moose knuckle. You guys are dicks. Moose knuckles. Thought I'd have a good time this morning, but... Oh yeah, it's just like when people take drugs, you know, like... I don't mean like the drugs like...

like recreational drugs, but like suppository medicine that you have to stick up your butt. Ricky can smoke a joint with his ass. Yeah. up your butt. Ricky can smoke a joint with his ass. When you smoke a joint with your ass you get you get higher quick. There's lots of blood vessels in there. It's hard to smoke it with your ass but if you get someone to blow the smoke in there I guess. Stevie Nicks style. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah we've we've had some Stevie Nicks shit go on like among our group. Experimental. But not with grass. I put a bit of honey oil up there once. Yeah that's exactly what it was honey oil you never told me that man yeah did you do a doggy style or missionary when you got it put up there and who put it in there it's

not a missionary because you have to look into your bro's eyes while he's doing it lucy you let's use her finger. Nothing wrong with that. Lucy put honey oil on her finger and stuck it in your ass. All right, I put it in my own. It was my finger. I wasn't trying to get... You couldn't reach your own hole if you tried. Maybe it went from the front.

Is that the trick? That's the way I do it. Pick it up and put it in. Fucking right, man. If I became the president like him, there'd be all kinds of greasy shit getting set up. You know what I'm saying? You ready for the hang up?

All right, man. In sleep, peace. Buffalo, out the door, dog. That was good, man. See, that's how Jay Rock keeps it moving, right? Donald Trump. Y'all sit there and just chat with somebody. Donald Trump's a tiny-handed motherfucker.

And somebody was like, your hand's so tiny. He was like, don't worry, dog. My horn horns still tight I wonder if that motherfuckers hair down there is like same as the hair on the head. You know seeing Yeah, what are they saying? It's like your hair is the carpet match the drapes or what is it? I figured this in with they say that about women Ricky not about Donald Trump. It's Casa Here we go. Joe. Yeah, would you fuck off? You're supposed to introduce the gas right out of the fucking gate.

Money comes first, okay? You're being a dick. Fuck you, man. Anyway, joining us on the podcast today, fucking here he is right here, Vern Troyer. What's going on, Vern? Nothing, just hanging out with you guys. They're female penguins. They'd be less meat.

Why would they be? No cock. But they might have penguin boobs. Good point. They probably have six of them. Yeah, could be more meat. What? I don't know. Is he talking about penguin tits?

Yes. Somebody's saying they've got six of them? Yes. How do you know penguins have six tits? I don't know. Do they? He slept with one. What's up? I don't know, do they? He slept with one. What's up, mate? I never slept with a penguin. He banged one.

Jucasa, get that shoot in. Fuck off. You can take that, Fern. That's okay. Fern doesn't want that. He does. Just take it. Just pretend you're taking it. Fern, just pretend you're taking the fucking thing. Hey.

Nice. Are you fucking kidding me? We should get some tits off him off him for when you wrestle Randy, because Randy's pretty good. What about you and the Green Bastard? Well, I... I've seen the Green Bastard. He's a pretty tough dude. Yes, yes, he is. I know him well.

I've met him a number of times. So what do you think, Bob? Is Green Bastard, you know, against an Olympic wrestler? Well, I... I mean, I... Green Bastard would get destroyed. Yeah, my money would be on Corey. Oh, you think so, do an Olympic wrestler. Well, I... I mean, I... Green Baster would get destroyed. Yeah, my money would be on Corey. Oh, you think so, do you? Yeah.

Well, Green Baster fights dirty. Well, I told you I took an elbow in the wiener. I can fight back dirty. He's checked people's oil, man. He's done everything. Green Baster might produce a foreign object. See how you deal with that. Parts unknown. See how you deal with that. Parts unknown. See how you deal with that? Fucking pair of pliers to the face.

Alright, okay. Hopefully they're not needle nose. How about the butt of a screwdriver? The fucking teeth. Oh, yeah. That would probably work. Just saying, you know, he's a dirty green bastard. He is dirty.

I wouldn't recommend fighting him myself. Can you tell me some kind of a crazy story that maybe nobody's ever heard about him when you guys used to get cranked up? Well, let me tell you something. This is my favorite Chris Marley story. Yes. So after he, you know, I got a call one day, and I quit drinking two years before,

and I get a call. First of all, I saw an impression that he did on me at Victoria Jackson with Roseanne on Saturday Night Live. It was very funny. We were going out there to host and Lorne Michaels said, please spend time with Chris. I think you have a lot of common with him. Meaning, maybe he could have a mentor

with his party. So, part of when you quit drinking, you have to make amends to people you've screwed over. Right? And so there was some people that Chris had done horrible things to in college. And so he went to their house. It's beautiful. They were very wealthy now. It's beautiful suburban Chicago.

They had a big party for him, like a nice buffet and everything. And everything was great. And he made amends to them. And they were like, we respect you, we forgive you. And in the middle of the party, a dog walked out onto the grass, a giant dog,

and got his haunches and took a shit. And everybody was like laughing about it and Farley must have got the idea. He left, he ran behind. Next thing you know,

Farley comes out in front of people completely naked and takes a shit. No, he didn't. I swear on my fucking life. In front of all these people he made amends to. And they were like, get the fuck out of here.

You're the worst. You know, so he ruins it. Outside. Those guys are pretty fucking awesome, I have to say. Hopefully meet some more cool, awesome guests in 2017. The problem is we never get a chance to hang out with them much afterwards. To get drunk and high with them. Sucks.

Which is really cool because you get to see people's true colors when they're fucked up. Then you know if they're a dick or not a dick. Exactly. The dick test could be put on. Some guys seem like they're not dicks, but then you get a few drinks in them or a few somethings, and all of a sudden the dick fucking gene takes over. And then some people are dicks, and you get drunk with them, and you find out, hey,

they're not much of a dick after all. So got to do a drunk dick test with these guys. Anyway, there's been a lot of... Speaking of dicks... There's been a lot of them, and this is something we got to talk to Bubbles about for 2017. Him fucking getting people on that we don't want to have on the show.

Right. Such as... There's a fucking lot of them. Lahey. Lahey. That's number one. And there's Randy. Like, why the fuck was have on the show right such as a lot of them lay he's number one there's randy like why the fuck was randy on the show and jacob even and cory no offense to cory jacob but i think they're just too fucking dumb to be on a show like they just don't know what to say they fucking they're weird and then jay rocky was on here he was you was, you know. I don't know. We got to get some people that are more interested, I think.

Or some more ladies. Maybe we should get Sarah on here. That's a good idea. You know what I mean? She's, well, she's not that smart, but. No, she's smart, man. No, she's not. She's dumb.

She's not. She's way fucking smarter than you, man. Yeah. I've had a smart off with her, and she lost every fucking time, believe me. A smart off. A smart off. A smirt off. So should we show some of these dicks? Let's show some dick clips. Okay, come on. For the rest of the dicks out there, don't fucking try to get on the show. No more dicks.

All right. Roll the dick clips, Chip. Here's one. Jacob, what's the craziest thing you've ever bagged? This should be interesting. I once touched a nine-volt battery to my bird. A nine-volt battery? What happened? Nothing. It felt kind of fuzzy. Oh really? Yeah you know like when you stick it to your tongue? Let's do it. I wet down the bird to get some current and then touch it to the side to try to like get some sensation. The shaft? Yeah yeah. Why were you doing that?

So you put in effort to go wet down your wiener and touch a 9 volt battery to your shaft. It's sensation. What do you and Rhianna do with each other? I mean, I don't really want to... Don't ask him that. No, like when you're hanging out or whatever. You guys have a lot in common? You get along good?

We play Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola? Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola. You know, in the pocket in the middle. And we played. This is fucking, what a great fucking day this is.

Well, I found out this thing happens over in Japan you guys might want to fucking try to get to next year. What's that? The annual penis festival. That's a good one. They celebrate the penis. It's like I think in April maybe. And they have big penis floats and penis lollipops and penis candles you can buy. Cops are a very powerful thing, isn't it, Julian?

Fuck, is it ever. I'm not going to... He's telling me to do some things right now. I'm never ever ever going to stop listening to it, okay? You a cop? I don't... You just... I'm getting people like gonna stop listening to it, okay? You're cocked? I don't... I'm getting like eked out, man. So you and Leahy are openly talking about your cock.

This is not happening. This is shut... I'm shutting this one down. Maybe you and Leahy should go to a penis festival next year. Over here. Buddy. Fuck brains. Shut the fuck up.

Bob's. Bob's, turn the fuck off. He's getting a shot. No, just wait. You want a shot? Another fucking note. Ricky, he can't hear you. One more note.

He can't hear you, bud. Ricky. Ricky. Ricky. Ricky. He's still going. Shut up! I got bruised knuckles because of you there fuck brains. But I will drop kick you if you don't fucking shut up.

Give me your best shot, Nick Wade. Oh, really? Ricky! Nice. Holy fuck, are you kidding me? Die! Yeah, he's fucked. Holy fuck, are you kidding me? Die! Yeah, he's fucked.

We can fix it, but we're going to need some glue. We're not fixing that. Need some glue, a wire, and a speaker. You know, if it's a big bear comes at me, I cut this coated with salt and vinegar chips, so it's very vinegary. So if he comes at me, I'll fucking shove that right in. Ricky.

I'll shove that right in his eyes. And that's going to fucking dizzy him and blind him a little bit at first. You cover that in fucking chips? A couple shots, a couple hooks. Rick, this is not a good idea. That's it, guys. I've had enough of hanging out with you, Randy. What are you guys going to do after this? You guys going to go do anything together? I'm going to go online and learn more about some of my goals that I have, Ricky.

I think you should, uh... That's great, Randy. Why don't you set five goals for the next show? And then you can come in and tell everybody. Why don't you fuck off in five different ways for the next show? All right. Get the fuck out of here. Okay. Thank you.

Get the fuck off, Ricky! Is that burn? Feel the burn, baby. You're making me cry for frick's sake. Yeah, see if you were Barry now, I'd just come in and fucking dummy you. No, no, I'm talking about like marrying Bill Clinton, dude. Because if it's like that much money and you just have an arrangement and shit, it's like, listen, I'll stay in that other room and you can do whatever you want and i'll just be like there for the pictures so you wouldn't wait up for him to see when he came home and what he'd been up to no dude i just like gold day oh you just have like a

little room next to ears and you would gold dick yeah like i'd be down the hall even at the guest house or some but you people people do that, man. People have, like, arrangements all the time. People do that all the time. But, Court, he's got to get something from it, man.

You just can't say, hey, Bill, I need this new fucking Xbox game coming out. He gets his freedom, dude. You run down to Walmart and get it for me?

He gets his freedom. I say nothing. He gets his freedom, though. Why wouldn't he just be single, then? Why would he need you living down the hall? Well, because he needs a first lady. He would need a first lady. So you'd be the first lady? Well I would be the first guy but it's like, I don't know.

Corey you are fucked. It's funny you should ask that because we were, me and the boys were talking about some of the stranger things we have found. In 1984, I was in Three Rivers, Quebec, and there was a 19, there was an Eaton's catalog up that guy's arse, because he wanted a Leafs sweater. Like the full year of the Christmas edition. And he wanted a Leafs jersey, and all the French prisoners found out, and they said, do you want a Leafs jersey? We'll French prisoners found out and they said you want a Leafs jersey? We'll ram this fucking thing up your hole.

Jesus Christ. It was like two inches thick. I don't know the fucking catalog. Was it rolled up or how was it in there? They rolled it up.

If I remember correctly that edition had the fabulous bra section and swimsuit section. Oh yeah. Yeah the underwear sections we're talking 40 pages of underwears.

Thought it was the golden age of that sort of thing, if you're into it, which I'm not. Which some people are. Clearly. Clearly you're not. Man, we got to make a pact or fucking something. We can't allow any more dicks. Well, i'm not doing this podcast anymore unless you know there's some cool people on it not dicks i fucking agree

man all right man i am fucking totally spent this whole 21 days of christmas thing that you got going it's got to be back to like what it should be the 12 days of christmas i think 21 is too much it's way too much man because every year it getszier and crazier for the whole 21 days. We've got to cut back the days or cut back certain things on the days. Well, I usually have a good pace when I'm drinking. Seven times out of the 21, memory loss. I don't like fucking losing my memory. I have memory loss pretty much every day.

I know you do, man, but it's not the way I like to work, right? I didn't get to finish Hammy. All right, so who is it? Hammy. Hammy? Yeah, I got some work to do on him, yeah, but he's fucking... He's starting to look pretty good. Oh, yeah.

This new, uh... This new set is just crazy, man. Oh, yeah, put it up. Well, no, it's... I'm not done yet. It's not gonna look quite like this because I'm gonna... I'm gonna make some changes right here. It's gonna be really funny. All right, well, you know, I'm not done yet. It's not going to look quite like this because I'm going to make some changes right here. It's going to be really funny. All right, well, you know, that isn't bad, man. If it was shitty, I would tell you.

I'm getting better, you know. But that looks good. You know, last year I drew a couple pictures for Gord Downie's charity, the Great Peanut Tree of Rutu, which fucking did pretty good, and then Mount Kilauea. The Peanut Tree of Rutu, which fucking did pretty good. And then Mount Kilauea. The Peanut Tree of Rutu. Those are fuck pictures. This is better, man.

This is... I'm getting better every time. This is a lot better. See, it's a normal picture. It's not like a peanut... It looks like smudging. That's actually called... I forget.

Fading, maybe? Shading. Blend. Shadowing. So, yeah, this is going to be a good year for Ricky and his art, I think. All right. So, episode 76 coming at you next week. Bubbles will be here, hopefully.

Unless he decides not to come back from his little trip. Maybe he won't. Fucking coroner's diary. He doesn't really like me anyway. No, he thinks you're a dick big time. And he likes drawing cocks. That could have been written a long time ago. I still think you wrote that.

I didn't write that. That's not my fucking writing. That's why it was left here. You left it here and said, it's Bubbles fucking writing. That's writing. I print. I always print. I don't write.

That's Bubbles, man.