Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 8 - Liquored up in London with the Mighty Boosh

Episode Date: September 24, 2015

The Trailer Boys Podcast comes to you from London, England, with guest stars Mike and Noel Fielding of Mighty Boosh and Luxury Comedy fame! The boys discuss British snacks, Julian's greasy trailer ghosts, what the Queen drinks for breakfast, and why Ricky once dressed up as George Michael. Episode Eight is brought to you by the world-famous El Mocambo live music venue, 464 Spadina Ave, Toronto!

Margaret Thatcher's funeral. It was just a street procession. Just because you were high, it didn't make it a funeral. You just got high on the same day she died. Are we rolling now? I mean, what's the cuffing date? Yeah, yeah. Oh, really?

All right, Chipper yet? All right, first off, we've been sitting here for an hour waiting for Chipper to get his shit together. And we've been rolling for the last five minutes, so I apologize. Apparently the cameras aren't going to match, and we said, don't't give a fuck One of the cameras has got an outfit on the other one chipper and Riley and their fucking precious cameras fuck off Yeah, I wanted it one of the cameras has a nice nice outfit on and the other one doesn't they don't match They're both nude. I'm gonna flick. I'm gonna flick an onion ring at chipper Awesome. Oh, so good. That was a good shot, man.

That's quite a weapon. It's almost. Weapons of mass destruction. Are we going to officially... Oh, that one exploded. Are we going to officially start this fucking thing? All right, yeah. We started.

The podcast has started. This is the Turn the Perp Away podcast. I think it's, what, number... Ten. Ten doesn't matter. Number eight. Eight. This is the first time we've broadcast on location.

We're live in London, England. At the fucking Oxford, aren't we? In Kentish Town. That's right. Fucking right out of her tube. We're supposed to be live at Abbey Road, but it's fucking pouring rain out. It's kind of cool that we're in England. Yeah, we were supposed to be live from Abbey Road, but we got fucked over by the English weather.

That's the truth. I can verify that. We've got a couple fucked up guests today. This is the biggest podcast we've ever done. We've got the two coolest guests ever here today.

Noel Fielding, Mike Fielding. We've basically been blackmailed into being in their show. Ricky shoved a gun in their face and said,

get the fuck in there. First thing I want to know, Mike, you said you were at Margaret Thatcher's funeral last year. What the fuck was that like All right, first thing I want to know, Mike, you said you were at Margaret Thatcher's funeral last year. What the fuck was that like? Pretty mental. Yeah, it was mental.

Pretty mental. Was it a fancy dress? It was, yeah. Yeah, I went as a Tudor. A Tudor? Yeah. A Tudor. You know all the Tudors.

The Tudors? It was a Tudor. A Tudor. Armchair. What the fuck is a Tudor? I didn't get into Margaret Thatcher's funeral. Well, you didn't have to be on the list or anything. What, really?

It just turned up. Quite a slack door policy. Yeah, yeah. People just come and go. Yeah, I had sunglasses on and... But you said you were a pallbearer, weren't you carrying the casket? I was, yeah, but I kind of dropped out the last minute.

I'm not sure about this story. You were quite drunk. You said you saw the coffin go past. Was anyone carrying it or did it just hover past? I believe she was. I read that in the paper. She was the first one to use a hover coffin. Like Star Wars.

Hover coffins just came out back then. Like a land speeder. That would have been awesome. When I was a kid, I really wanted a land speeder. I wanted one. I had one. No, you didn have been awesome. When I was a kid, I really wanted a landspeeder. I wanted one. I had one. No, you did. I did.

I had an actual... No, no, Star Wars. Star Wars landspeeder. I had one. When? I built the fucking thing myself. Buzz, when? No, like...

If you had built a landspeeder, you would have definitely showed it off. You wouldn't have, bro. I built one. I mean, it didn't actually go anywhere. No, there's no way you had a landspeeder. No, it didn't move. I mean, it was just up on blocks. Oh, it was up... You showed it off. We wouldn't be on the fucking big rubs. There's no way you had a land speeder. No, it didn't move. I mean, it was just up on blocks. Oh, it's up.

How many drinks have you had? I've had six doubles. Yeah, you're fucked. That's what's going on here. Well, big deal. It's all right. Let him drink. We're on vacation right now.

Well, this is kind of cool. We're in a different country. I'm getting pretty fucked up. I guess if you can't see us right now, Noel has a very interesting choice of hair. So this is your new hair, eh? I've got a Marion Twinet's wig on, yeah. I like it.

But why? What makes a man wake up in the morning and say, I'm going to dress this way? Because it looks awesome, that's why. I'm just trying to bring back the dandy or the fuck. I thought if I wore this, then maybe people, you know, pretty soon there'll be 10 of us. Oh yeah, I guarantee you. 10,000 of us, March 3rd.

You watch, in six months the Gap's gonna be selling that wig. So we've got some great new English snacks here. These are actually, these taste very similar to snacks we have at home. The Pringles are the same things that we have at home. These fucking things here are good, I don't know what they're called and those little onion ringy things are pretty decent these are not English oh they're not fuck what do these taste of because I can't work it out onions it's different it's not like a 90s like a cardboardy kind of flavor to them these are like

salt vinegar puffed fry kind of things like. Like if you bought a SIM card and then you ate the packaging. That's what it would taste like. That's kind of like those. I think that tastes like Chinese regret. These taste like yesterday. It tastes like yesterday. I don't even know what you guys are fucking saying. We actually brought these in as props.

These were from your show. These were on the craft table of one of your shows. Am I to be? No, this was from Luxury Comedy. Luxury Comedy, wow. Three years ago, when we brought those in, we thought you might recognise them, but you've been eating them. Those are probably poison. Getting reunited with old props.

With old props. I remember this guy. You remember him. This guy was good. He was closer to the top when he was in Luxury. He's sort of sunk down to the bottom now. Is that Toby? This is his wife. Toby. You've named now. Is that Toby? That's Toby. You've named the animal right?

Yeah, Toby's wife Sandra. Remember this guy from Margaret Thatcher's funeral? Jiminy, that's Jiminy. His name's Jiminy. He used to be a lot taller. That's Linda from Accounts. She does all the admin. So how are you guys? Thanks for coming to our country. Well does all the admin. So, how are you guys? Thanks for coming to our country. Well, thanks.

Thanks for having us. I'm pretty fucking happy to be here. I was here for about 11 seconds and I almost got killed by a fucking car because I didn't realise

everything's backwards here. I don't know if you guys got that fucked up or if we got it fucked up, but we drive on a different side of the road over there. Well, Ricky, Dave and Dave had a country much longer

than we have, so I guess we fucked it up. Well, why did we fuck it up? Why not just have it the same? It's fucking stupid. Yeah, we've had a country much longer than we have so I guess we fucked it up. Well why did we fuck it up? Why not just have it the same? It's fucking stupid. Yeah we gotta talk about this. Who was driving on each side of the road first really? Because like didn't we have the model T Ford going first before these guys? Well I was like saying what came first the chicken or the leg? Yeah like what the fuck happened there? Like we had cars right? Should be Canada doing that in the car. No not Canada, I think the United States did the fuck happened there? Like we had cars, right? Should be Canada in that car.

No, not Canada. I think the United States did, but what happened there? Henry Ford. Yeah, Ford. Henry Ford. Henry Ford. There's a lot of things about Henry Ford people don't know. Like what? That he only had one lung. His legs were Nigerian. He did. He had Nigerian legs. He had one lung. How do you know he had one lung. His legs were Nigerian. He did.

He had Nigerian legs. He had one lung. How do you know he had one lung? They weren't doing operations back then. My great uncle knew a guy that knew Henry Ford's caretaker. Bullshit. So your grandmother used to bang Henry Ford. Is that what you're saying?

I wish. I'd probably own a nice Ford today. A nice Ford Mustang or something. All right. When Henry Ford invented the car, did he invent the car? Yeah, the Ford car. The Ford car. It was a Ford.

It wasn't a Mustang. Did he invent cars or just the Ford car? The Ford car. The Ford, it was a Ford. It wasn't a Mustang. Did he invent cars or just the Ford car? Well, the Ford car was the first one. Was it though? The Model T was. Good question. I don't know.

I'm not buying it. He didn't invent the wheel, did he? He invented the horse. A lot of people might have invented cars at the same time around the world. No, Henry Ford invented the wheel. His great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandson who was a caveman. He invented circles. He invented circles.

My uncle invented circles and that's where he got the idea for the wheel. It's a similar invention. And is that where Roy Circles came from? He's one of my favorite characters of all time. No. Roy Circles is a little chocolate finger. He looks a bit like this, but he's brown. And he says things like, last night I woke up and there was blood in my pants.

Yeah, okay, I mean, Bubbles, he showed us some of the clips from your shows. We've watched some of them, really drunk and high. Like what the fuck are you guys on when you're doing the show? You're definitely on acid or something, am I correct here? Toast. No? We just like toast. Lemon toast, you're eating No? We just like toast. You're eating toast.

Lemon juice. And lemon juice. We don't really, uh... Lemon juice on toast will get you right out of it. I was like, we'll do that to you. When I'm super, super fucked up, the show makes a lot of sense. When I'm not... It's a documentary.

I don't know. It's not in the news when you're not... I just lie down when I'm really fucked and sort of start, you know, playing with a hoover. I can't really concentrate. No of start playing with a hoover. I can't really concentrate. No, we just sit there and we get a knock on our door with the camera guys and they show up and they start shooting shit.

It's easy. It's just your real life. Well, most of it is. But I mean, Ricky, he does a lot more things that are really more fucked up. Which I'd like to be doing now, but I haven't been able to track any things down to make more fucked up. Which I'd like to be doing now, but I haven't been able to track any things down to make me fucked up.

Like weed. Well, we can get a swan. Okay. We can try. A swan? Mike, we want weed. We don't want swans. No, I would like to have a swan.

I'd like to have a swan named Daryl in here walking around with a little World War II helmet on, with little glasses. What I meant about Pete Dockery, because you can see a photo, there's a shop out there called Snappy Snaps, I saw Pete Dockery in there. I imagine he knows someone who could get you a swan.

I mean, could get you weed. Alright, well that sounds good to me. I need to get something to smoke my lungs. Will the swan have clown shoes on? Aye, fuck, I would love it if on? Aye, fuck I would love it. And a bib. I would love it if he had a bib. But the best thing I've heard all day is that you've got two ghosts. What are they called?

Paul and Stanley. Wow, but not Paul Stanley. No, not Paul Stanley. That guy's from Kiss. It'd be awesome if Paul Stanley was a ghost. I know. Just Paul Stanley with a sheet over his head. Can you imagine being haunted by Paul Stanley? It would be the best thing ever, right? He'd be just running around banging broads,

staring in his fucking eye. Just there at night going, come on! He'd have a sheet over his head and then with a little hole cut out like a star. It would be amazing. And then Gene would be next to him with his tongue coming through like a glory hole. Oh, Gene's got the tongue. There's a glory hole. A glory hole. Well, you know, a glory hole is just a...

Oh, don't worry. That didn't make sense. No, like a glory hole where people take out their wings and they stick it in. Yeah, that's what he's saying. Like Gene Simmons would be under the sheet with his tongue coming through the hole like he's propped up at a glory hole, fishing around in there. That's about what... I mean, I've heard about those things. around in there. That's about it. I mean, I've heard about those things.

Yeah, man, I don't know. So you've seen Paul Stanley's cocks. Ricky, what do you fucking know? He's a ghost. Not even a ghost. Remember when we were little and I used to draw pictures of cats and you used to draw pictures of Paul Stanley's cocks? I've seen it, Bob.

That's a fucking lie, man. Paul Stanley's naked ghost is haunting your face. He's getting bad with you. Everybody fuck off. There's not a gay Paul Stanley haunting me, okay? That's not happening. He gets his phone to run out. There's a bisexual Ace Frehley

haunting me. How's that going? I saw Ace Frehley at the airport and I asked him for a photo and he said no. It wasn't him, it was his ghost. It was his ghost. He couldn't hold the pen, he tried to pick the pen up. He said you should go round Julian's house, he said there's a glory holder. That would be amazing to try to get an autograph from a ghost and he's like I would but I can't left the band because I'm a ghost. And he just does that and he doesn't get anything.

He's a ghost writer. That was a real joke. That was a nice joke. Can we delete that out because I don't do real jokes. We don't delete anything. Accidentally, I sometimes do a real joke and I I take it out, out of the show. You don't like doing real jokes? No.

I like jokes to be disguised as jokes but not really jokes. Here's something that pisses me off. I love it here but we were on the tour bus the other night. We stopped at this convenience store to get some liquor and some booze. Which was fucking expensive. No fucking ice. Are you kidding me? You guys don't sell ice in convenience stores around here.

We do not freeze water here. Why not? We just don't like the shape of it. They lost the recipe in 1766. It's because it's cold outside. You just put your liquor outside. No, no, no. I mean, the temperatures are basically the same at home.

I've got an ice dispenser in my fridge door. Well, you do, but what about at gas stations? Are you kidding me? You should have called me. I would have come round. I would have cycled around with paul stanley's ghost for ice in his pants through gene simmons gloryo stanley ghost okay i would have fed ice through gene simmons gloryo there's none of that is happening fiery pants that's not happening if you go to a petrol garage, they'll have ice.

No, they don't. We went to like five of them on the way here. From Heathrow. There's a conspiracy. Heathrow, we've got a rule. Just like ice. This ice. There's ice in that. Wow. I mean, I know I've got an ice dealer if you want just to freeze this water. I think we're talking about a different type of ice.

I've got actually, talking to Paul Stanley, I've got a kiss, you know those molds for ice? I've got a kiss one. A kiss ice tray? Yeah. That's cool. What does it make, little Paul Stanley's? Yeah, Paul Stanley's frozen peanuts. That's, uh... No, it doesn't, but, um...

It just... So I think it spells out the letter, like, little letters, like the K. They're just letters, then. Nice. Yeah. No, no, it's a kiss one. It's a kiss one. But you can make other words of it, so I think, in a way... Well, there's not many words you can make out of K-I-S-S. Sick.

S-I-K. Zick. Sick. There's not many. Sick. Yeah, that's true, actually. So it's basically just a kiss ice cube tray. It's an alphabet ice cube. I wish we had one of those.

So we're here in fucking London for a couple days. Is there anywhere you guys recommend, like, what should we see? Abbey Road. Well, we were supposed to do the podcast from there today, live from Abbey Road. Yeah, but it was raining, and these lot all went, oh, we can't film now, it's raining. I know, I would have sat there in the fucking... Buckingham Palace? It was chipper.

Buckingham Palace. You know you can make ice out of rain, right? Yes, I have before. All right? It's nothing new to me. Oh, I've had rainwater. But when you're here and it's like 70 degrees or 16 degrees, whatever, you're not making ice.

No, that's true, actually. And you're drinking. Who's got time to make ice? I haven't. I don't. Nobody does. I'm always doing podcasts. I haven't got time to make ice.

There must be lots of cool shit to see. I'd like to go on one of those. It's like a bus, and then there's another bus on top of it. Double decker. Is that what they call it? I mean, it would suck if it's raining, because some of them, they don't have a roof on the second one. Ricky, what the fuck are you talking about? Just get on one of those, get a little baked, maybe drunk, and roam around and just chuck some shit out.

That'd be kind of fun. That'd be nice, but not in the rain, right? Might be able to organize that for you. I like this Buckingham Palace idea. What's the Buckingham Palace? It's where the Queen lives. Oh yeah? Yeah. I used to work there. I's where the Queen lives. Oh yeah? Yeah.

I used to work there, I worked for the Queen once. Fuck off. This is another story like Margaret Thatcher's funeral. I've got a lot of royal stories. It manifested, you just went past that. I do hospitality. For the Queen? Yeah, for the Queen.

That's pretty bad. There's like a big event there. He better be careful what he says. I was looking after the Queen. Looking after her? In what way? Like her pimp. She was a wild one. She turned up in her slippers in the morning.

Was she doing forward rolls? You can't say stuff like that. This is our Queen. Don't give these guys ammunition. Was she in a litter? she asked for a drink in the morning about gin and tonic you're gonna get fired now and then I had to go to Queens I love that's true I love that the Queen rolls down yeah that makes it like that makes it cool okay what time were you serving these drinks at this is

important this it was out of the well it was it was after 12 after 12 are you sure see that's now I love the Queen I love the Queen way I got a lot more It was after 12. After 12? Are you sure? No. See, now I love the Queen. I love the Queen way more. I got a lot more respect for the Queen now. You said it was 11 the other day. Yeah, I know, but you know. Did she have ice? Did she have ice? She's not blind.

Ice in her drink. No, she didn't have ice. See, my dream can't get ice. What did she drink again? Gin and tonic. She asked for brandy but we didn't have any brandy. So I had to say I'm really sorry, Mum. Because you call her Mum, not Mum. Mum!

Really sorry, Mum. We don't have any brandy. Mum. Mum. Not Mum. I don't know if I'm out of line, but this kind of turns me on about her. Like, she likes to drink before noon. That is a... No ice. She's a sea slag.

She's a queen. She can do it if she wants. She can do whatever the fuck she wants. She can do whatever... Absolutely. If she asked me to paint her nails, I would have had to do it if she wants. She can do whatever the fuck she wants. If she asked me to paint her nails, I would have had to do it, don't it? Really? She could say, chop me up some Gak. She could. Somebody would have to bring it, the royal Gak.

Gak? What's Gak? Her security guard, he's like really posh. Gak? What's Gak? It's what we in London call drugs, innit? Oh, drugs, like her drugs. Her security guard looked me up and down and was like, you're a short fella, have you considered being a jockey? Are you Mexican?

Yeah. Was he attracted to you? To be fair. He was attracted to you. Maybe was. He gave me his number. We meet up, we go kayaking together. Did he saddle you up? Kayaking naked together? You a jockey?

Did he make you ride him around? Yeah. I think that the thing is about the Queen is... You love the Queen in your country, right? Yes. Well, that's because we've got the same Queen. Yeah, the Queen is still sort of... She's on our money.

She's like our figurehead. That's who I'm talking about. Who are you talking about? The Queen Bee or the Queen? Or Freddie Mercury? We were talking about Queen and the band. I was talking about Queen and Freddie Mercury. What about Brian May? You remember when he did a guitar solo on the Queen's roof? On the Buckingham Palace, yeah.

Yeah, is that because he's in Queen? I've only just got that connection. Oh, maybe. Maybe. I have no idea. He pulled Prince Philip out of his boots on the hair. That was a badger. Saddled him up. It's a badger.

It's not real hair. Do you remember that when he did a solo off of the... Yes, I do. Yeah, they had a wind thing, didn't they? A wind... What's it? What are they called? Windshare?

They had fireworks blasting off the wind. We call it a fair. I think it was about the top, to be fair. But why was he doing it? It was for the Jubilee, wasn't it? Or was it just he just took it upon himself to do a solo? He wasn't supposed to be up there. was he doing it? It was for the Jubilee wasn't it? Or was it just he just took it upon himself to do a solo? He wasn't supposed to be up there he wasn't allowed up there. On the Queen's roof. He can't help himself. He was cleaning the gutter

out of leaves and he just thought he'd do a solo while he was up there. That's awesome. Have you met any other famous people besides the Queen and Freddie Mercury? Do you know what we do freeze in this country? Guitar solos. Guitar solos? Yeah, we don't freeze water, but we freeze, as Brian made- How does that work? Brian made us a solo as it comes out. That solo, we freeze it, and we've actually got all those

guitar, all the guitar hit solos since 1965, frozen in a museum. We've got a couple of Hendrix ones. Martin Offler. We've got, yeah, we've got the guy from LazyTown. Martin Offler, he's fantastic. He froze one of his solos. I can't see.

All right, so it's like a hand solo thing. It's like a frozen thing. In carbonite. And then you, yeah, you take it out and then you can hear it. Yeah, in years to come. You guys are fucked up. Like that's totally, that can't happen hear it. Yeah, in years to come. You guys are fucked up. That's totally, that can't happen.

But imagine it, in years to come. I have the recipe for carbonite in my shed. I know how to make carbonite. I can freeze anything. Do you think you lot will get frozen? I would like to be frozen. I don't want to be frozen. Now?

Next to Walt Disney. Is he frozen? Why did they freeze him? Walt Disney is. They froze him. Walt Disney's cryogenically frozen. I need his fingertips. Why did they freeze him?

Because he's frozen. Why did they freeze him? Because he's frozen. Because he's frozen. Because he's frozen. Is he frozen? Why did they freeze him? They froze him. Walt Disney's cryogenically frozen. Why did they freeze him? He asked them to. He paid a bunch of money and said, freeze me. And then in the future, if you ever get the technology, wake me up.

So I bet you, you know, at some point, Walt Disney's going to wake up and just be like, he won't. There's going to be some new Mickey Mouse fucking episodes coming out with that. Oh yeah, in 20 years. Crazy Mickey Mouse. In the future. You have to feel like you're quite important to get Frozen, don't you? I've been pretty powerful in my lifetime, so I think we should freeze me in case... Freeze me, because you're gonna need me.

Because you're gonna need me. In the future. And he'll wake up and he'll be like, he'll start writing new Mickey Mouse cartoons, but Mickey will be all fucked up like he was frozen for 75 years, and he'll be all... His hands will be canoes. Yeah.

It's weird though, because in the future, aliens will be quite evolved, and then this sort of guy in a suit with a moustache will just come out talking about a cartoon mouse. I think they'll probably kill him immediately. You're talking about aliens. You don't want to get bubbles on aliens. Because he gets scared of ships.

So fuck him, that's it. I've seen fucking aliens. Have you been aboard a ship? I've seen ships. I've seen them land. I have, Julian. You're never going to convince me that I didn't see alien ships. You've never been on an alien ship, Bubs. Maybe, maybe not.

We were also on mushroom and hash brownies that night. Exactly. Yes, we were. We were on mushrooms and a lot of hash, but I believe I went on an alien ship. Alright, well, as long as you believe it. That was just Jacob looking. He was waking you up. No, because things were probing me. There was probes going around. That was us, sticking things in different places.

We had sparklers, It's sparklers. Those little sparklers that were trying to fucking wake you up, burning you. That was a kebab skewer. Holding your tongue. I went to the barbecue where they were making kebabs. That was Paul Stanley. His frozen penis.

Frozen. I love the idea that you've seen it. You're quite paranormal, you lot. Because you've got ghosts living in your house. I do have ghosts. No, well, in the trailer, it's the other ghosts. You've seen ghosts. Have you had any encounters with Bigfoot?

You're a witch, apparently. Apparently. No ghosts. Bigfoot. Every time I see a ghost, I just know that I'm just really fucked up. You definitely have. You've never seen a ghost. I guarantee it.

I'm going to say right now, for the record, don't believe in ghosts. I think they're bullshit. All right. Okay. So if there's any ghosts in here fucking come aboard me let's see what you got I liked that one in the TV in poltergeist I thought that was quite good oh yeah that was cool what about Bigfoot have you had any Bigfoot stories or encounters? Don't get him, Noel why'd you have to bring up Bigfoot?

I fucking guarantee you I've seen at least 15, 15 sand flames. There's been no reported sightings of Bigfoot. I fought a fucking eight-footer. No, I didn't. Is he really blurry? Do you think he's blurry in real life? He's blurry. I fought an eight-footer. No, you didn't fight an eight-footer. In the woods out behind the whole carnival farm.

No, no, no. Well, I thought one night we saw one where it was just Julian in a big fucking stick. Yeah, no shit. We beat him with some bats. Yeah, thanks, boys. And another time we saw another one, it was Sam living in a big fucking yeah, no shit. I beat him with some yeah. Thanks boys No time we thought so another one was Sam Cave in the woods you guys ever seen any London aliens No, not really because I've seen you know on YouTube. There's been spaceships hovering around London

Well, I've just spent way too much time on YouTube. I saw George Michael. I should set a party What was he doing? I was in a party next door to his house and he said we could use his pool so we all jumped over the fence and he came down in speedos. Is he in any other one? With a silver jacket on it, it was massive. I heard that the place he got caught cranking one office around here somewhere he got caught that time? You know that store that you can see through the window called Snappy Snaps that was a different branch of that that he drove his car into are you kidding me was but he was big He was a car just we Fell asleep anyway question for the same is only going four miles

Just like my old into his store and he woke up he drove into a store asleep And then he woke up, he drove into a store asleep, and then he woke up and he was in a photograph store. That's convenient. I love George Michael. I love George Michael too. Ricky used to go to him on Halloween. He used to dress up as George Michael. Is that true?

Yeah. I went out once. You said the Wham shirt. I went out once, but yeah. As George Michael. I guess so. He had the Wham shirt on, you know, back in the Wham days. I can see that, actually.

Totally. I can totally see a bit of George Michael in you. Well, Julian and Bubba was with Duran Duran that year, so I think I had to go with... We weren't Duran Duran. We weren't Duran Duran that year. Who are you? They were Charles and Eddie. I can't even remember who the fuck we were.

I went to... We were Simon LeBom or LeBuff, whatever the fuck his name was. And I forget who the fuck we were. I once went to a party. You were Simon LeBom or LeBoeuf, whatever the fuck his name was. And I forget who you were, bubs. No, we were Simon and Girff Uncle. No, he was Simon, I was Girff Uncle. I used to go to fancy dress parties as Lady Di. It wasn't like a sick thing, I was just, you know, quite respectful about it.

And it sort of made me feel quite... What did you wear? I saw the picture, It's quite rousing actually Yeah, that's not right. Is it wrong to fancy my brother? brother they Fucking what's that about? Fucking I can't believe you as George Michael that goes well. I don't remember any of that But apparently maybe I'm out as Billy Idol that year.

Yeah, but that makes sense. Billy Idol. Rebel Yell. We're the Rebel Yell! So you guys got anything cool coming up? Anything that we might want to check out? We've both retired, haven't we? Is there any chance you're going to come over to Canada? We'd love to.

In the middle of talking to someone about it, hopefully. Just a guy on the streets so it probably won't happen. But we're in a guy, he's just crashing into Snap and Snap. We are, we're doing another tour here and then we're hopefully coming to America. Make sure you let us know if you're coming and we'll tell everybody. Maybe you could play our sponsors' bear. I'd love to do that yeah do you know about the alma combo in toronto no it's this old like it's a historic rock club and this guy we know he's he bought it and he's turning it back into what it used to be but

everybody played there you too the please the big now the biggest story about that place uh do you remember we had uh elliot trudeau, we had Elliot Trudeau, Pierre Elliot Trudeau, our prime minister, way back when, his wife hooked up with Mick Jagger in that club. Apparently Mick finger blasted her. Finger blasted her, heard. And he banged her. Finger blasted her.

El Macombo. What does that mean? He just, you know, he gave her the little doodly-do down in the past. Finger blasting. Wow. Oh, yeah, because I heard, I don't know, but didn't teeth get in trouble in Canada? And I heard that it was somehow because Mick had been, as you so eloquently put it, finger blasting. The prime minister's wife.

Yeah, that's what got them out of it. Oh, yeah, no, they got in big trouble. There was a lot of shit going on about that. Really? Yeah, there may have been some suck jobs involved too. And now his son is running for Prime Minister right now. Suck jobs. Suck jobs and finger blops. All kinds of shit going on back there.

All went down at the Al Macombo, the fucking hippest club in Canada. We're sort of in the wrong era, aren't we? We missed all of it. You are. You're definitely in the wrong era. I'm from the 17th century. Hey, these fuckers dressed me up like this. Can I just say for the record, I just want to say now

that they forced me to do this. They drugged me and they said you were playing. And finger blasted them. Finger blasted me and a couple of suck jobs in there. We didn't finger blast you. You did. No I didn't. You did.

Like Freddy Krueger finger blasts five people at the same time. Finger blasted me and my brother. My brother's quite a light man. Finger blasted him off the floor. Mike, I did not finger blast you guys. Everybody, I do not do that shit, okay? He does do that stuff. And then someone came in dressed as George Michael.

I think it might have been Ricky. It might have been Ricky. Then what happened? I don't know. Singing fucking wham songs. Paul Stanley's ghost was there. Yeah, Paul Stanley's ghost was there. Dean Simmons showed up with a glory hole. It was time hanging out.

Quite a time around. It was time in a glory hole. And you were there with Billy Idol. Margo and Patrick went past in a box. Yeah, that was not her funeral. That was just the parade. She went by in a hover coffin. In a hover coffin, which you said you had a speeder, a land speeder. I did.

A speeder coffin. I had a land speeder. That would be nice to have one of those. I fantasized about having one of those, did you? Oh, I did, absolutely. I spent a lot of time thinking about how they worked. Oh, I did too. I mean, you know, there's a lot of physics involved

and I tried to build the anti-gravity machine, but I actually almost blew my legs off. Do you guys remember this? Remember when the bionic man was like, you know, around? Do you know the bionic man? Steve Austin? Yeah. When I was like fucking seven, I bought a pair of his sneakers. Steve Austin bionic. I had the same pair. Jumped off the roof of my trailer, almost fucking broke my leg. Foot head bionic powers. I bought, I had mine. I got them at the mat. There used to be a big department store called the mat. And I put them on, you know, you

used to put your shoes on before you leave the store, and I thought I was bionic, so I started running, and I ran right through a fucking plate glass window and got cocked from my forehead to my ankle. I wonder how many people wore bionic men fucking sneakers. 458 stitches I got. I always wondered if he had a bionic cock. What? Well, the rest was bionic. Did he have a bionic cock?

Oh, absolutely he did. No, it was just his eye, his ear, I think, two legs and one arm. And his balls. You can see a chick across here in the back. Right here. I used to get in a lot of shit when you were a kid. I think Evel Knievel was quite big.

Oh, fuck, that was bad. A lot of bad white pigs. Some big kids were doing jumps, and they were jumping over people, and I said, can I play? And they said, yeah, you can go last. so there's like six guys lying down and I'm last and this guy comes up the ramp lands stomach tire in the stomach and I think he winded me so badly that I was puking you're lucky didn't break your

fucking ribs I had a bionic cock so luckily I was lucky. You had a bionic cock? My Steve Austin bionic balls on so I was okay. okay. You said you could probably maybe get us a little hash or a little smoke from Brian Dockett? Brian Dockett? Who? No, he said that I saw Pete Dockett here in Snappy Snaps, and he could probably help you out. I myself, my friends, only take opium. All right, okay, that's fair.

Fuck. Opium might be what you want to do. I wouldn't fucking do anything right now, I guess. All right, well, I got gotta- Do you know what? These days, the most I do is chip sticks. And we've got some- I just feel like we're wasting our fucking, like we should be doing some shit.

Let's go do it. We've got some really good halloumi. Oh yeah? Yeah, it's my bad. Halloumi? Yeah. We're into halloumi and peppermint tea. Yeah.

Halloumi, peppermint tea. Not both. No, we don't mix them. We're not crazy. Okay, well. All right, well let go do it. I got a piss anyway. What about Jagerbombs? You told me you like Jagerbombs. No, no, I don't like Jagerbombs. I'm just tricking you. What's a good London shot that we could go after?

Is there anything specific to London? Absinthe? Yes! Let's fucking go. Creme de menthe? Creme de menthe. That's my era, absinthe. Absinthe? I want to see some fairies. Then we'll go to a drive-thru and order an Elmo combo.

What? What's happening? Elmo combo. What the fuck is that, Ricky? I don't know. It's on Sesame Street. You're thinking about the bar, Elmo combo. I know, but whenever I hear the name of it, it reminds me of McDonald's. We have a chicken shop here called Chicken Cottage.

What? Chicken Cottage. What's a chicken cottage? Chicken Cottage, yeah if you want a good chicken go to Chicken Cottage. Chicken Village, we have Chicken Cottage. Chicken Castle. Sounds like this is going to be a fucked up night boys. Let's go get some liquor and just figure out all this chicken cottage.

You can't say liquor here because that's pie and mash gravy here. Oh yeah. It's what? It's like a green slimy gravy you put on pies. That's liquor here. Can you call it booze then? Yeah. Booze. Let's get some booze. Booze. Gotta take a piss, and let's fucking end this.

How will the night end? Oh, I think, what do you call it? Finger blasting. Oh, well, either finger blasting if there's not at least four finger blast things tonight we know who's Bobby's there was like fucking be careful of Bobby's over there Bobby Bobby Bobby that's the police right the police they call the police don Don't try to fingerbass Bobby. Well, they don't have guns. They don't have guns. They don't have guns.

They've got sucker pumps. No, they have buttons. We've got truncheons. They look plastic, but they hurt. Like Steve Austin's bionic cock. Let's do it, boys. Let's go get fired up. All right, everybody.

Thank you. First podcast. Podcast number eight. Not in Canada. Thanks for the fieldings for being here. Thank you, guys. Try your part, everybody. Thank you. First podcast. Podcast number eight. Not in Canada. Thanks for the fieldings for being here. Yes, thank you, guys. Fantastic. Trying to pop boys.

It's not like I'm shy, so it's very unpaid. And wait for the announcement for when they're coming over to Canada. We're going to get right out of here. Fuck yeah. Cheers. Wait, no. I'm supposed to be live at Abbey Road, but it fucking rained anyway. Ricky, we just ended it.

Cheers. No, we didn't. I'm supposed to end it at Abbey Road, but it fucking rained. Anyway, it was still good. Look out, Ricky. We just ended it. Cheers. No, we didn't. I'm supposed to end it this time. Ricky's supposed to end it. Ricky. All right, that's it. I'm throwing you the Julian. See that? Get one on me. You should have put your WAM costume on for the end. Yeah, dumbass.

All right, cheers. See you later. I gotta piss. Alright, cheers. See you later. I gotta piss. Love this place.