Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 80 - Ricky the Discount Dentist

Episode Date: February 9, 2017

Ricky thinks he can get into dentistry because they’re basically just mechanics for teeth. Also, the Boys debate the differences between a spider and an octopus, and wonder if Moses was on mushrooms when he talked to the burning bush.    

Why do you line it up there, Rose? Here, pull my finger. I'm not gonna pull your fucking finger. No, it needs to be cracked. Well, pull it yourself. It doesn't work if I pull it. There, fixed it. That was it?

Yeah. Fuck, you thought I was gonna do it fast. That was strange, man. You're strange. You're fucking strange. When does this start? The what? Well, what we're doing here. When does it start?

The podcash. It's gonna start as soon as I say it starts. Alright, well let's get it going, maybe. Yes. It's going to start as soon as I say it starts. All right, well, let's get it going, maybe. All right, what's going on, fuckers? This is the official Trailer Park Boy podcash. Episode number 80. I know there's a bit of a problem for us.

That's a big one. Don't fuck it up. Who fucked it up last week? That's because I was so fucking baked. I got to stop smoking that crazy shit. Is it 80 or is it 80 plus one? This one's 80. Or 80 and a half.

Today is 80. Big 80. 80 in a row. That's a lot. We should have had like a, you know, like a... Firework. No, we should be rich by now. Like you think, 80 weeks, man. That's a lot of work. Yeah. We should be selling a lot more of this shit.

Yeah, and whose fault is that? I don't know. Well, you guys haven't been helping out. You said it was your thing. Well, it is kind of my thing. You're never prepared. And then people get online and start saying, ooh, Julian's just looking for fucking money and all this other shit.

Which you are. So I stopped fucking promoting it. So now we're not making anything. That's great. That's a great plan. So we just sit here for fucking no it. So now we're not making anything. Well that's great. That's a great plan. So we just sit here for fucking no reason. That's exactly what we're doing.

It's not no reason. We sit here for the camaraderie. Well that's the fun. Fuck you smell. You crabs have eyes. Which kind of crabs, Ricky? The ones on your unit? All crabs.

Do you have crabs? Is this... No. You try to... I've had crabs, but I don't rate at this moment. How do you know? I would know. I've developed a new technique for that area.

What's the new technique? What, for getting rid of crabs? Just for never being able to get them. Okay, what do you do? What's the new technique? What, for getting rid of crabs? Just for never being able to get them. Okay, what do you do? What's the new technique? Well, crabs live in hair, so you get rid of that. So you just shave the whole deal down there? Yep.

Well, you can get them in your face, still in your face. What about jungle? Hello, arctic. Smooth. Icy. Ricky, did you shave all your unit? Everything, man. Do you want to have a look? No.

Have a look, man. I'm not having a look. I don't want to. I'm not having a look. I'm a little curious to what it looks like, like a clean shave package. I know what a clean shave package looks like. It's fucking great. How do you know?

Because I shave my package too. So you guys are both like totally clean shaven guys? But do you just trim or do you shave? Well, Ricky, I don't, I'm not getting into this. Do you shave it like into a little, like a heart down there? A little landing strip? The ladies?

You guys are fucked. Ricky, what did you shave your unit with? A shaver. Which kind? Well, first electric and then numb down to the blade. Ricky, look, this is not a good idea. You've got to be careful. I'll give you that. A straight razor or like a Becky? I don't know, like one of those, whatever, the fancy ones that we steal down at the drugstore.

The disposable ones with the four or five blades? Oh, this one's got five or six blades, yeah. So how do you get, you know, show me in the air how you do it? Well, you'd, you know, you'd get down the bottom part there

and then you'd lift up some things and get underneath and just start from the bottom. You get the taint and everything. Oh, man, yeah, everything. How many times have you cut yourself? It's about 10 degrees cooler down there.

It's great. Don't sweat as much. You don't work up a gravy. A ball gravy. No, gravy-less. Isn't that fucking nice? All right. Well, here's another way to not get crabs.

So do crabs have fucking eyes? They have eyes. All of them. Okay, where would the eyes be in this thing? Where did you get this, Ricky? I was trying to... What the fuck kind of a crab is that? I don't know, but I thought Motel might like him. So I'm trying to do him up so he...

That's got ten legs, Ricky. That's not a crab. That's a... Spider crab. Well, a spider crab would have eight, wouldn't it? Oh, yeah. There's his eyes, right there. Octopus crab. That's stupid. Does an octopus eat, too? Yeah, that's what octo means, Ricky.

So why is a spider and an octopus called something different if they both have eight legs? Because they're not the same fucking animal. They're completely different species. Ah, but they are the same because they all have eight legs. But they're not the same species, Ricky. So completely different species. Ah, but they are the same, because they all have eight legs. But they're not the same species, Ricky. So an octopus is a spider that lives in water, or a spider is an octopus that lives on the land.

No, an octopus is an octopus. A spider is a spider. They should be from the same fucking family. Okay, Ricky, a dog has four legs. So does a cat. Right, so what is it, a dog-cat? No, but I'm saying they're still a mammal. Yeah. So an octopus and a spider are both insects, or they're both... An octopus is not an insect.

No, an octopus is not an insect. Is he a squid? No, he's not a squid. A squid's a squid. An octopus is an octopus. What is that family of things called, though? I thought it was called... Oh, man, you put crabby right in my drink. Oh, don't worry. Where did you get that?

Well, I was borrowing some things out of a car at the mall, and I saw this sitting there. And I thought if you dressed him up a little bit, turned him into, like up a little bit, turned them into like a little cowboy crab. Ricky, who the fuck steals the crabs from the fucking, from cars? Like why?

People that like their fucking grandkids, that's who. You put a cowboy hat on them, did ya? Yep. So what would he be, Ricky? I'm not a, a cow-crab's kind of dumb. He'd be a... I don't know. A crab boy.

A crab boy. He'd be a crab boy. Yeah. How many guns would he have? Ten? No, you'd have to still stand up on a couple legs. So he could have eight guns, though, if you stood up to these two. Eight guns. Eight guns a week.

You're so fucked, man. Ricky, scale from one to ten, how fucking high are you right now? I'd say about a five and a half. That's it? I'm about a five and a half. It's a good fucking five and a half. But is it going to turn into like a ten and a half in another ten minutes? I fucking hope so.

You better not, man. Are you on the upswing still? Definitely not on the downswing. There is such a thing. About eight, nine minutes ago. What is the upswing? Where does that come from? Well, it means the upswing, Ricky. Of what, though?

Well, in this case, it would be how high you're getting. All right. All right, you're swinging. If you looked at how high you were on a graph, it would be swinging in an upward motion. Very good. I believe it's where that comes from. Well, I did get to the bottom. I, I did get to the bottom of the milk and honey, uh, whatever it is. Conundrum?

What does that mean? The mystery of the milk and honey. Bingo. Very interesting story. It's actually a phrase that was used in the books, or the book of Exotus during Moses's, Moses's? Moses's vision of the burning bush. And I'm not talking about your mother's. Nice. But actually it's weird because the honey's not really about your mothers. Nice. But actually it's weird because the honey is not really fucking honey from a bee. It's like the honey of a fruit.

In this case maybe like a prune. It's almost like a honey, you know, a fruit juice sort of thing. So it's a fucking dumb expression anyway. Malcolm fucking honey. No. Malcolm fucking prune juice. Ricky, where did you get this information? Off the fucking... What are they... you know. The internet. Searchers.

Yeah. Who gives a fuck about this stuff? Anyway, I just thought you guys might want to read about it. I've read some of it. No. But what context was it used in? Why were they putting milk and prune juice together? Did Moses have a blockage? Uh,

Fus, a land flowing with milk and honey, is indicative and subclimatic of a greater good. And supplomatic. A greater good. Fertility of the promised land. Whatever the fuck that even means. I don't know. You know what? I don't even want to talk about it anymore.

You can fucking figure it out. Ricky. Yes. You? You gotta start reading more. Mm-hmm. God spoke to Moses at the burning bush. Did he really, though?

I don't think so, no. I think it's, you know, Moses was probably on something. Mushrooms? He very well could have been on mushrooms. You imagine if he was. Changed the course of history because he was could have been on mushrooms. You imagine if he was. Changed the course of history because he was trekking out on mushrooms. And like, hey everybody, God spoke to me in a fucking bush that was on fire. I was talking to a snake.

That sounds to me like, I mean... If you came up to me right now and said, hey bud, some weird shit was going on. I was talking to this fucking bush that was on fire. I thought maybe you were fucked in the head. Or you'd think I was on mushrooms. You wouldn't go, oh my God, he was talking to this fucking bush that was on fire. I thought maybe you're fucked in the head. Or you'd think I was on mushrooms. You wouldn't go, oh my God, he was talking to God. Why are you holding your head? Because this is fucking ridiculous, boys. We know nothing about anything about this shit,

so why are we even talking about it? So what are you saying? Who gives a fuck? So this fucking thing sucks again. I was enjoying the crab more than this other shit that you were talking about. What are you doing now? I was trying to get Crab Boy to wear a roller skate, but it didn't fit. Fuck's sakes.

All right, let's talk about some more important things here, like trying to make some money right now. Great. It's wintertime. It fucking sucks. I. It's wintertime. How do you do it? It fucking sucks. I hate the winter, man. But there's some things that people are doing here.

Like this one guy. He's 25 years old. He's a fake dentist, man, okay? He ran his own dental clinic. I'm picking up skills on YouTube. See? You can go on YouTube, bubs, and fucking figure out, like, how to do anything. There's something I could do.

I could be a fucking dentist. Ricky. No, I, how to do anything. There's something I could do. I could be a fucking dentist. Ricky. No, I'm not talking. I'm just saying. I'm just saying there's ideas that you can fucking get off YouTube. You know what's going to happen now? He's going to fucking open a dental office.

I wouldn't do everything. And he's going to fucking saw somebody's drilled their teeth out of their head. And we're going to get sued. You can't be that hard. You don't need many tools. You need a drill. Pliers. Yeah, but you need to know what the fuck you're doing, Ricky.

Drill bits, I guess. Drill bits. Pliers. Right. How hard can it be? Those little scrapey things. I'll tell you how hard it can be. Eight years of fucking school hard. I don't think you need to go for eight, though. I'm telling you, everything's on YouTube these days, man.

It's basically, you're like a mechanic, just with teeth. It kind of makes sense. No, it doesn't. It fucking does. We have to steal some freeze spray, maybe. Ricky, you need to know the full anatomy of everything and all the medical knowledge it takes. Well, maybe you just want to do emergency work.

It probably pays the best. How are you going to freeze somebody's fucking... We're going to have to steal freeze. You know what, I think we should start off with just doing, like, cleanings, clean people's teeth, because you just pick the shit out of it, and, you know, fluoride, and then done. That's it. No drilling. Yeah, a little Dremel tool.

But you can get into that shit. Polish, oh, you can polish teeth, just like waxing a fucking car, just on a smaller level. So you're going to jam a fucking Dremel tool in somebody's mouth with the polisher knob on the end of it? Well, yeah. Ricky, you could, a Dremel, if you tried to, you could just wear the tooth right off with a Dremel tool. Well, that's why you watch the YouTube videos. You could just glue another teeth in there glue it

With what type of glue are you gonna use do you have crazy glue? I can use that no man. No no no those up cuts with that. It's friendly to people. Yeah temporarily They don't put fucking brand new teeth in that they expect to work forever. I went in I got a feeling done I'm giving because I I got a filling done. Why would you give him this idea? Because I went in to get a filling done, man. They put this liquidy shit in there, this gel stuff. They put a light on it.

Done. How the fuck you steal that shit? Yeah, but you gotta, oh my God. You could probably order that. Oh, you could probably. What would be

in a freeze spray? You could make one. You could easily steal that. You can buy that shit that the athletes use and shit, the spray. Yeah. Just inject that

into fucking people. See what he's talking about now? He's going to be injecting now. Now we've moved up to injecting. I'm not a big fan of needles, but it can't be that hard. Ricky, you can't just inject unidentified fucking materials that you're buying at Costco into people's jaws and gums. Oh, you'd borrow them from a fucking dental office, man.

It's easy to get into those places. What's the difference between spraying it and injecting it? Huge difference, Ricky. One of them's sitting on your skin, the other one's going right into your fucking bloodstream and can stop your heart. How about that? and can stop your heart. How about that? You're going to take athlete spray,

like Bengay or something, and start injecting it into people. Oh, not Bengay. There's this other stuff that you can buy that just totally frees you. Okay, Icy Cool or whatever it's called. You're going to extract the fucking gel out of those packs and start injecting it into people to try to make a couple dollars?

Oh, you can make a lot of money. What about whiskey, if you injected that? No, you'd just drink the whiskey, man. You could get them drunk. That'd be a good clinic. So that's perfect, though. All natural. Get them drunk, get them high.

No chemicals. Chuck some of that icy shit in there. People are into that healthy thing these days. That's right, man. We don't use any of that chemical shit. We just get you fucking drunk. I can't believe you would put that fucking out there. But, Bubz, you know what?

I need to make some money. It's either do something like this or I'm going to jail. Two hours, you can pull out 10 teeth, 25 bucks a pop. That's $480 or whatever it would be. And that's two hours' work, boys. There's people that will pay for that, man. There's people that don pay for that, man. There's people that don't have...

He's gonna start pulling people's teeth out with pliers. For $25 each. Or I'll drill a... Give that a think for a second. Yeah, which means I'll make 10 to 15 bucks a tooth off of it. If I look out and see, oh yeah, there's a fucking little hole there. Some sugar will probably go down there and it's all fucked up. Drill the fucking thing out and fill her up with something.

Drill it, spray it out, you could... Dirt bond You could get a compressor. We could fucking use that as well. There's all kinds of attachments for those things these days. It's probably the same as body fill for your car. It smells the same. No, you've got to use the shit that you get at the dentist, man. So you're going to get the compressor out now, are you, and start fucking blasting 700 or 800 PSI? You can turn the knob and adjust that, man. Blast that in there, fucking lips going everywhere. Just call the discount dentist.

People expect shittier tools because it's a discount joint. People don't have insurance for dentists and shit, man. It's like fucking 365. Sam Roscoe is the discount dentist. Or almost a dentist. So you can't call yourself almost a dentist, man. It's like fucking 360 bucks. Boy, Sam Roscoe is the discount dentist. Or almost a dentist. So you're... You can't call yourself almost a dentist, Ricky. Almost qualified.

Alright. Well, maybe you can come up with a great idea, bubs. It's an idea, man. It's a terrible idea. Calling teeth. Freezing people's gums. Speaking of amazing ideas... I'm gonna start to play the fucking piano. What?

Yep. I didn't realize how easy it is. It's not, Ricky. The piano... I mean, I think you should. That'd be great, but it don't... It's not easy. It's a very, you know... No, no. It's easy. It's so easy a chicken can do it. Hmm. What the fuck are you talking about? I saw it. A chicken plays fucking

America the Beautiful. If a chicken can fucking play a piano, I can definitely play a fucking piano. There's a chicken in Sunnyvale that can play a piano. Not in Sunnyvale. Well, there could be. Most likely a turkey, though.

Turkeys are smarter. Just look it up. We'll put it on so everyone can see it. How do you do that? Are you serious? Ricky? Yes? So you saw a chicken that can play the piano? Yeah, let's put it up.

Alright, Chipper, find the fucking chicken playing the piano, throw it up, now. You did a pretty good job, it was a little slow. So based on that, you're going to start playing the piano. Are you going to play it with your nose, or are you going to try to learn it with your fingers? No, I'll probably use my fingers. Then he could play more than, you know, one thing at a time. Or I could just play with, yeah, I could just play with one finger.

That's what I'll be famous for. You'll be famous for that, huh? Or maybe a finger and a thumb, so you could go to different places quicker. Yeah, that's... Okay, Ricky, so when are you starting your piano career? I'm very curious. As soon as we make money from the dentist thing, I'm gonna buy one of these keyboards. And fuck, maybe I could even teach one of your cats to play. We'll be famous from the videos from that.

No, you're not forcing them. If my cat wants to fuck with the piano, fine, but you're not gonna sit there and force them. Okay, so you're gonna start playing. So maybe if I have a piano in here or a keyboard. Yep. Next week you can play us a tune, maybe? Sure. Yep. So you're starting right. Do you have a keyboard? No.

So you're gonna need. Do you have a keyboard? No. So you're going to need to get one of those. Where would be the easiest place to acquire one of those? Pawn shop. Pawn shop, you'd get one. They're pretty long. You need a trench coat. No, I mean buy one, Ricky. Buy one?

That's funny. He's going to go buy a fucking keyboard. Well, at a pawn shop, you probably get one at a fucking dirty old pawn shop for $5. Yeah, if you go into the back door. Oh, I'd spend $5. You're not going to spend anything. J-Rock has several old greasy keyboards from the 80s. I could probably get you one of those, you know, with cool sounds and stuff. That'd be cool.

Like, it makes a helicopter sound, like Aldo Novo. That was cool. No, I don't think he's got any, like... I don't think he has synthesizers, Ricky. I think he's got some keyboards, though, where he can change the sound, you know, make it sound like an organ. The little bendy thing?

Oh, my fuck, that's fun. Make it sound like an organ or, you know, a harpsichord. It's usually one of the ones they have. Mm-hmm. I'm going to get you a keyboard, Ricky. Harpsichord. And he's going to be up all fucking night wasted playing this fucking thing, cranking. Fucking right I am.

It's going to drive us fucking nuts. Get me one that has the drums, too. No, don't get him one that has the drums. No, you know what? I'll get you a drum machine, Ricky. A separate machine. I've got one. Okay.

A separate machine where you hit play, and whatever drum beat you want starts, and then you can play along with the keyboard. I mean, I'm just, if you get good enough, me and you could start a band. You could be in Bubbles and the Shed Rocks. Nice. That could be really good. He's not gonna fucking get good enough, me and you could start a band. You could be in Bubbles and the Shed Rockers. Nice. That could be really good.

He's not going to fucking get good. He's got it. We'll fucking see. If he can master the one-finger thing where he's just playing bass notes, he could be very beneficial to the Shed Rockers. See? We're making so much money already, you don't even know it. It all started from being a dentist.

No, Ricky, it all started from you seeing a chicken that can play the piano. Remember? Fuck. Is that how it all started? Well, that's how this conversation started. Alright. Well, it's February 10th. Anything exciting happening? I don't know. I didn't see anything. All right. There's some fucking shit there.

Miami Vice, they had their 100th episode on TV back in 1989. This day. I like that show, man. That was a good show. Yeah. They knew how to use music. And cool cars. What do you mean they knew how to use music?

Well, they just sometimes, you know, they'd have music playing. It's like, fuck, that's good. That's really good the way they did that. They did have some cool fucking cars, though. That Ferrari there, that white one. Remember that phase you went through where you were dressing like Don Johnson? You know what? I know you're going to fucking say that.

Little mesh shoes. Everybody kind of got into that back then. I did for one day. I was into MC Hammer, but you were into Don Johnson. I wore a jacket for an afternoon. An afternoon? An afternoon. A baby blue t-shirt?

A whole summer. No, I definitely didn't wear a baby blue. You had that baby blue t-shirt, the mesh socks, the white pants. You did look pretty cool, I guess. Any pictures of it? I bet you there's a picture kicking around somewhere in a box. Holy fuck! What?

February 10th, 1863, the fucking fire extinguisher was patented by a Lansing crane. It's a big day. Why is that such a big day? It's really not. It's fucking, who gives a fuck, I guess. Why is this even here? Fuck. Well, Rick, who gives a fuck? I guess, like, why is this even here? Fuck. Well, Rick, at first you got super excited.

Well, at first I thought it was kind of cool, and then the more I thought, I was like, yeah, who gives a fuck? And that all happened in the span of two seconds. It was weird. It was like, yeah, fuck off. You ever feel that way? No, not really. I mean, usually if I get excited, I stay excited. I just wonder what triggered in your mind there

when you thought fire extinguisher. Why did you go, yes? I thought at first they meant like a fire truck. Big fucking, that'd be cool if you invented that. Fire extinguisher, eh, it's okay. Fire truck's much better, inventing one of those. It's big and badass, and I always wanted to drive one and be a firefighter. What would be the... If you could have invented anything in history, Ricky...

Mm-hmm. ...where you're like, okay, invented by Ricky, the greatest invention of all time, what would it have been? Probably the building. Mm-hmm. Because there's lots of those everywhere. You'd make a lot of money. You invented the building. That's so fucked. So that probably, I mean, that would be quite a thing to have a patent on.

A building. A structure that you can walk inside of. I mean, that goes right back basically shortly after the cavemen. I wonder who did that. They moved from caves into buildings. No, there was a tent in between. I mean, that goes right back basically shortly after the cavemen. I wonder who did... They moved from caves into buildings. No, there was a tent in between. So the hut would not qualify?

That guy probably made some dough, too. Rick, he didn't... Back then, you didn't have a fucking patent on a hut. They were just happy to have a hut. It's who the friend make money... You didn't pay a royalty to the guy that invented the hut. You didn't go over looking for money and he just sliced you.

No, like, Hut Depot or... I don't know, because then the guy that invented the building would have come along first. Yeah, it wouldn't have made sense.

But if you didn't have a lot of money, you still might want to buy a hut, even though you could get a fucking cool building for a little more money. So you wish you had invented the building?

Actually, you know what? Maybe the building is too much. I wish I would have invented cement. That guy fucking... I'll tell you what. That guy made some dough. That's been around a long time. If you could have invented cement, Ricky,

and got a patent onto it, believe me, you'd have a lot of money. Just for the castles. Did they have... Were the castles made of cement, though, Ricky? No idea. Stone. A lot of stone. Well, I guess. Whatever mortar held them together.

Pyramids. Yeah, it wasn't... I don't think there was a lot of concrete involved in that. I thought the whole thing was a lot of concrete involved in that. I don't think the whole thing was fucking concrete. Just, they poured a form and triangle and... No, man. No, no. It was made out of big fucking blocks. Huge blocks and there's been a whole mystery about how they moved such heavy fucking things they used.

They couldn't have. Well, they did. They used science and... Or? Aliens. They were poured. Poured by who? I don't know. They didn't fucking pour the pyramids, man.

They definitely did like... Would have been a lot fucking easier. Fucking idiots. But it wasn't invented, Rick. What do you mean? They didn't have concrete when they built the pyramids. They didn't have like cement they built the pyramids. They didn't have, like, cement trucks. Otherwise, they probably would have had cement trucks pulling in.

Well, fuck, they should have invented that instead of trying to cut big rocks together and lift them. Like, fuck, that's a dumb plan. Well, I believe they didn't. But that's what history's all about, man, okay? They started off doing it, and then it gets improved. All right, well, they figured out, you know, there was serious physics and geometry and stuff used to, you know, levers and all that stuff.

I'm very, I know how they did it. But I also believe the aliens helped them. What aliens? Aliens. Makes sense, aliens. Like you should see, Ricky, some of the hieroglyphs that are inside those things, they show ships up in the sky coming down and stuff. Well, maybe that's how they lifted them. To use the ships like a helicopter. Big steel cables. I don't even think it was that. I think the aliens could just, you know, move bricks with their minds and stuff. That'd be cool.

Put it together and they used them as navigational beacons when they're flying in from space. Oh, yeah, there's tunnels and shit that shoot up, you know, go up to the sky. Absolutely. Different places. Man, I read about that shit. The aliens were using it for navigating. Tall lights. Huh. Tall lights. Huh?

Tall lights. Yeah, like landing strip lights. 1945, rum and Coca-Cola was invented. Oh, no. I fucked up. No, it's a song. Andrew says, do you guys want to hear it? Rum and Coca-Cola.

Do you guys want to hear it? I've been dying to fucking hear it. What is it? It's a tune, man. It's about rum and Coca-Cola. Do you guys want to hear it? I've been dying to fucking hear it. What is it? It's a tune, man. It's about rum and Coca-Cola. From 1945. Yeah, man. It might be pretty good.

Oh, yeah. Decent. I know this song. You know this song? If you ever go down Trinidad They make you feel so very glad Calypso sing and make a rhyme Guarantee you one real good fine time

Drinking rum and Coca-Cola Go down point Kumana I can't get into this. Oh, man, I feel like getting wasted right now. This is not a drinking tune for me. That's a song from the island. What country's that from? Like Jamaica or something?

That was the Andrews sisters. Trinidad. There you go. See, they should reuse this in a commercial for Trinidad. I'd fucking go there in a second. No, man, I'm not into that tune. Why? No, that's the ancestors' word. Yeah, but I just don't like that kind of music, man. I'm not into that tune. Why? The ancestors were.

Yeah, but I just don't like that kind of music, man. That's not a good drinking music. That's what trucking music evolved from right there. I like trucking music. I just don't like that kind of music. Van Halen's fucking first record came out on this day. What? Yeah.

What was the first one called? Van Halen. Van Halen. It was called Van Halen. Decent. 1978? Man, that just seems like yesterday. And Do You Think I'm Sexy?

Oh, yeah. Peak set number one on the charts. Somebody loved that song. Somebody did get awful in the nights. Everybody liked that fucking song. Yeah, but not everybody, not everybody used to walk around singing at the ladies in the park. I didn't do that.

You used to do that all the time on the way to school. Yeah, there was, no I didn't, no man, no, no. Remember, I remember at the bus stop where we used to catch the bus, and there was all the girls there from outside of the park, and you used to walk in front of them and thrash at them. If you think about it. Okay, no, no, I didn't do that. It happened once.

Come on, children. That happened once. I was wasted. Too drunk. I shouldn't have been there. I shouldn't have even went to school that day. Yeah, and I was, I ate too much. Like an idiot.

But it was that chick, Amelia. She was, she was hot. I remember Amelia went home and told her dad that you were thrusting your wiener at her. I wasn't thrusting my wiener at her. And he came down and you were like, well, I was singing Rod Stewart. And he was like, hey, bud, you think I'm sexy? Bam! Remember that?

Oh, I hit his, I hit the dad. No, he hit you pretty hard. I thought I hit him. No, he backhanded you. He didn't backhand me. What, he thought you exposed yourself, which you did not do. I had to testify that you were just doing a pelvic thrust, which in fact was the precursor to... To what? To when you got into

Patrick Swayze I knew you're gonna fucking get into that. No. Big difference between Rod Stewart and the Patrick Swayze shit. What's the biggest difference in your opinion? Well, it was a good tune man. The Patrick Swayze stuff is just fucking ridiculous how you guys get into that shit It's fucking, it's weird. Weird that you... So if you had to bang Patrick Swayze or Rod Stewart, you're leaning more towards Rod the Bod?

Rod the Bod. No, I don't want to bang either of them. Okay? No, but if you had to pick one. I'm not gonna, no, we're not getting... Doesn't matter what shit. If you had to pick one, who would you bang? We asked you first. If you had to pick one or the world ends and everybody burns in a fire. We're not getting into shit like that, man. If you don't pick one, everyone in the world burns in a fire.

So don't be selfish, Julian. Pick one. Don't be selfish. Puffs. Which one? Nice work, okay? I know what you're doing here. It's not going to fucking work with me.

I know you, bang. Well, you just let the whole world burn up. There's not a lot of famous people born on Feb 10. Well. Robert Wagner. Robert Wagner. Hard to hear. Bobby Wagner, they call him.

Was he good? Yes. Robert Wagner. Oh, yeah, I remember him. Cliff Burton, he died. Cliff Burton died today? 1986. He was born today. Born today, huh? Was he? Yeah. That's when he died, isn't it? He died in 1986 in Sweden.

Yeah. He was on tour. Yeah, that was terrible. Kill them all. Elizabeth Banks. Rawr! Which one's she now? I forget. Why'd you go mad? You don't even know who she is. Because I think she might be Rary. What was she on?

Uh, it doesn't say. She's the old lady, isn't she? Elizabeth Banks. Oh wait, is she the one that was in Cocktail? No, that's Elizabeth Shue, I believe. Cocktail. Oh, maybe I was thinking of Elizabeth Shue. Who's Elizabeth Shue, I believe. Cocktail. Oh, maybe I was thinking of Elizabeth Shue. Who's Elizabeth Banks? Oh, I know who she is.

Yeah, she's a rarer. I think so. She's old. She is a rarer. She is. Who is it? It's her. I don't know her.

I don't fucking know what she was on. Hey, Julian, pull my finger. No, man. Not happening. Alright, she was in the 40-year-old virgin. Okay, that's it. Alright, boys, can we finish this up? Oh, her. Yes, she is her. Yeah. Ricky, what are you doing?

Are we done? Well, it depends on what you're doing right now. Snuggling up to a cactus? We'll have a little nap before we get drunk. What is that? Where'd you get that? It was in the same car as the crab. What is it, a cactus pillow? It's awesome.

The fuck did you rob? Like a 1974 Volkswagen van or something? Oh man. Like a hippie van? No, it was like a, I don't know, some kind of rich person SUV I think they called them. I don't think it was, Ricky. Rich people usually don't have fucked up things like that in their car. It could be worth a lot of money. Never thought of that. We should get them looked at. You think this old fucking homemade yarn cactus is worth a lot of money?

Think of the time that took, the detail. Like after you've garnished, then you just go through and put all these little fucking things on, these little guys. That doesn't make it worth money, Ricky. I'd make that more interesting. Unless fucking Picasso built the goddamn thing, which I'm highly doubtful.

I don't believe he had a cactus in yarn, period. It's a female. How do you know? Because the flowers are pink. If it was a dude, it would be like blue or black, maybe. So you think that's a girl cactus? Mm. A girl cactus. It's comfy. Snuggle up to the fucking thing. I don't want to snuggle up to it Ricky. It's

It is nice Maybe we could start selling those might be a big market for it This would be good on a plane. Just do the see million-dollar idea right there You took what I was thinking and you made it better. You might be able to, you know... Get your arms in there? Hang your arms through the... Who the fuck's gonna walk around and travel over the world with a fucking cactus like that?

Maybe. A pillow. You and Ricky. Maybe if it inflated. This is nice. People have the pillows that go around their necks, man. That's what they're for. They can strangle you.

What? I've heard of people getting strangled on the plane from those. No, they haven't. They didn't wake up. I ain't never heard that myself, Ricky, but maybe. Okay, you have a nap. You have a nap. I'm gonna go see if I can find him a keyboard. You have a nap. I'm going to go see if I can find him a keyboard.

Get him a keyboard. I'm going to check into some YouTube videos and try to figure out some ideas, man, for some business. I know the dental thing probably isn't that great, but you never know. All right. Thanks for tuning in, everybody. All right. Thanks, fuckers. You're not going to tell them to go buy shit like you usually do?

Oh, yeah. Go to the trailerprepboy.com site. It's uh, whatever the fuck it is, you can get to it. Buy the merch. Go to the merch, buy some. We need some money. It's winter. Might have to go back to jail. Do you know who he likes to enjoy it to? I heard that.

Good. Dick. Listen, he's asleep. Good. Dick. Listen, he's asleep. He's sleeping. His hands are like he's got handcuffs. All his hands. His wrists. Ricky! What the fuck happened? Ricky, you were fucking screaming.

What? You were screaming bloody murder. Say goodbye, Ricky. Just say goodbye. Goodbye, Ricky.