Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 83 - Sex Ghosts

Episode Date: March 6, 2017

It’s a spooky and sexy podcash as the Boys discuss banging ghosts! Bubbles puts out a skeptical challenge to supernatural beings of all genders to bang him in his shed tonight. PLUS: Ricky takes on Julian in a loser-takes-Randy-to-dinner game of Jeopardy! Episode 83 is brought to you by the Official Trailer Park Boys Store!    

Boys, check it out. Na, na, na, na, na, na. Nice. Na, na, na. Na, na, na, na, na, na. Na, na, na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na Cowbell. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's not a cowbell, Ricky, for fuck's sake. What's going on, fuckers? It's official Trailer Perk Boys podcast coming at you right now. Episode number 82.

No. No. Fuck it. I knew it. 83 million. Fuck it. Fuck it. I was thinking about what you said last podcast. Say 82.

Say 82 again. 82. It's 83. But I was thinking, Ricky, the last podcast you were saying, man, you're big, but you just gotta go with it Yes I'm doing it I'm gonna have fun now I'm just gonna go with it

What kind of buzzer on are we looking at today? I'm not nearly as fucked as I was last week No, you look Look out It's more of a sativa kind of thing, isn't it? This is energy Energy Energy podcast

See, I don't like when you've got too much energy, Ricky. You with too much energy equals destruction. But March is the month of fire. Oh, for fuck's sake. Is it? I don't know. It's going to be. It's going to be.

Fuck it. You know what March is? March means that fucking summer is almost here. You know what I mean? The worst fucking months are over now. All that cold and shit. Thank fuck. Yeah, thank fuck.

Have you guys seen this magic dust? Ricky, magic dust. It's for campfires. See, look at that. Look at the color of that. It's cool, huh? But yeah, it makes color changes. What are you supposed to do with it? Well, when you put it on... that kind of sucked, actually.

Normally when you put it on a fire, it's... So what, you throw it on a fire? Yeah, and it makes all these really cool colours. It's really trippy. That was basically the same colour as the flame, man, so it didn't work. No, watch, dummy. It's orange. Well, it, dummy. It's orange. Well, it's blue.

And then it's green, sort of. That's bluish. Ah, it doesn't work with shit. Ricky, Ricky. Watch where you're pointing that. It's a fucking lethal weapon. All right. Mel Gibson.

I've never done this before. Mel Gibson. Lethal weapon. I've never done a paper airplane crash. Is he still- Ricky, you're not throwing burning fucking airplanes around. Well, just, it's just- Oh, the tail caught on fire.

Oh, Ricky. Ricky. Whoa. Gimme. It's okay, nothing's- What else can we burn? Getting burnt down, man. This is why I shouldn't have smoked anything.

Is this fire retardant? Ricky, you light that fucking computer on fire and see what happens. I think it is, Rick. I'll show you that your fucking skin's not wood retardant. Retardant, I mean. Smell that, man. That doesn't smell... Okay, I'm not gonna burn much else. Much else. Except maybe this monkey.

Oh, he's a fucking... He's a hopper, too. What the fuck is going on here? Mac, Mac, burn that. Oh yeah, you fucking burn. I'm not what? You burn K.J. McConnell and see what happens to him. Imagine if this is how you had to fucking move. Ugh, fuck.

Why is there fucking lube all over the inside of that? Don't look at me. Well, it was sittin' near you. Was Randy over here? I don't know. Randy would bang that. Don't wipe it on me. Jacob would bang that.

This is a fuckin' quarry would bang that. Pretty clean, sure. It is silicone. I mean, you could... I think somebody was humpin' it. Ricky? Give. Give it. Just let me burn him. No. Just burn his face.

Just his face. No, he's made of paper. Marche. Made of paper marche. Paper marche. Oh, man, not this guy again. I can't handle this guy, bud. Fuck, you know what?

Look up me skirt, Ricky. Fucking look up your skirt. Burn him. I can't handle this guy, boss. Fuck, you know what? Look up me skirt, Ricky. Fucking look up your skirt. Burn him. You got a fucking hanger right there. This is the way. Ricky, he's very flammable. He's covered in gas.

Yeah, he's covered in gas. Okay. So what's happened today, boys? It's quite a weekend, Les. This is number 83 This is 83 It is March The 3rd

2017 Thank fuck Alright I'm getting all paranoid now Alright This is not going to help Your situation Because

I know you don't like Bugs and shit right Depends. There's a dude that fucking, where is he from? Uh, Shing-doo, okay? Oh yeah. He's 60. Yeah, I know. He had something in his ear so he's like fucking trying to dig it out right and things moving around and shit. Cockroach. In his ear? Right in his ear. He tried using toothpicks and fucking... That was a bit ago.

I heard about that. Yeah, but... Okay, so he couldn't get the fucking thing out. It's like a few days. He's starting to get worried. I would have got the fucking thing out. Instead of going to the doctor, he takes some Raid, sprays it in there, kills the fucking thing,

which led to a bigger problem. Now he's got a dead one in there. He's got a dead one, but his ears swelled right up, so he can't get the fucking thing out of it. So whose fault was it in the end? Well, he was dumb in the end. He's got a dead one, but his ears swelled right up, so they can't get the fucking thing out of it. So whose fault was it in the end? Well, he was dumb in the end, because he sprayed raid in his ear.

How would you dole out blame in that situation, Ricky? Well, it'd be easy to blame the cockroach, but it's a bug. He's dumb. Hmm. But it was driving the guy. He was banging his head against the wall, trying to fucking get the thing out. Oh, that's a good idea. No, it fucking Get the thing out That's a good idea No it wasn't No that's a terrible idea

Shop vac Cushion Shop vac Shop vac Rishi it would suck The gears right out of you Gears of yours I would hear you

Shop vac Before using spray Uh raid A shop vac Would suck all the Your eardrum And your little hammer thing You flick it on real quick

Like Gone It's still Or you could hold it out a bit Kind of like put your hand at the end of it There must be some little ear attachment You could get or build You think shop vac makes an ear attachment?

It should now Obviously there's a market for it It's not much All ear wax I don't think they even have fucking shop vacs Where the sky lives man They should now. Obviously, there's a market for it. They'd probably get it all year, wax. I don't think they even have fucking shop vacs where the sky lives, man. Shangdu? That's where they make shop vacs.

Are you sure? Shangdu, yeah. There must have been something. He could have got someone with a straw and put the straw in there and started sucking on it. That straw was too small. Oh, believe me, I have no doubt. Look at that fucking thing. What is that?

That's a fucking cockroach in an ear, man. Why is it all white and shit? That's his ear. That's his ear, man. That's wax and air and shit. Jesus Christ. Okay, I didn't see that right now. I have no doubt that if he was over here, we would have got the fucking thing out successfully.

We definitely would have got it out. But jamming a shop vac over your ear hole is not the solution, believe me. You got anything that's not gonna make me throw up my donair omelet? Your what? I had a donair omelet for breakfast and it was fucking delicious. I tasted it. It was fucking delicious. Fuck eggs. Bennett.

Cock. Reckon he cooked some eggs, scrambled them up, donair air me, put a bunch of don't air sauce onto her. Don't air sauce, holy fuck. Onions and tomatoes on there, holy fuck. It's better than that Holland sauce. Holland sauce. You know what, that actually sounds pretty good. Okay, any other stories tonight about cockroaches and shit, man?

No, this is a good fucking story. No, today the whole day is about cockroaches. No, we're not going to spend the day talking about that. I wonder if anything happened today man? This is a good fucking story. No, today, the whole day is about cockroaches. No, we're not going to spend a day on that. I wonder if anything happened today. Let's have a look, guys. Oh, fuck. Here we go. Oh, Linda McCartney was charged with marijuana.

That was, I remember that. That was back in Japan, I believe. Wasn't it? I don't know, man. No, it's a really boring day. It's a real boring fucking day. Well, you know. Oh, fuck. Here's one fucking bad know, man. No, it's a really boring day. It's a real boring fucking day. Well, you know. Oh, fuck.

Here's one fucking bad one, though. In 91, the fucking police, when they beat up Rodney King. That was fucked. It was a doozy. The police. Oh, yes. Dicks. Yes, they got them on camera beating the fuck out of the poor fella.

They threw a fucking brick at his head and shit. No, that was the. That was the other dude. That was the aftermath. Yeah, that was right. That was the other dude. That was the aftermath. Yeah, that was the riot once they fucked him. They were like, oh, you're going to beat up Rodney King? Guess what? We're going to fuck this guy up.

But, I mean, they shouldn't have been beating up Rodney King in the first place, poor fella. This is, yeah, this day is not great. Although, one good birthday you're going to like. Stomping Tom. Decent. Stompin' Tom was born on this day. Some other people born too. What year was Stompin' born?

36. 36, yeah, he was getting up there with the backs, wasn't he? Yeah, he was 87. Margo's got the cargo boy and Reggie's got the rig. Reggie's got the rig. Was that song about banging? No. She's got the cargo.

She's got the goods and he's got the rig, meaning he's got the... So you think cargo means Margo's arse? And Staunton's got the big rig on the front of him? I doubt that's what... I believe. When you get a Stanton Tom song, Ricky, it's pretty much, it's about what you think it's about. Or is it?

The good old hockey game. What do you fuck think that was about? Could have been... Oh, the good old hockey game is the best game you can name. And the best game you can name is the good old hockey game. Met a chick. One of the craziest game you can name. Man, the best game you can name. Maybe he went to a hockey game, met a chick, one of the craziest nights of his life.

So he remembers the hockey game. Doubtful. Doubtful. Stoppin' Tom was a gentleman. He was a man about town, and he was... Man about town. Stoppin' was a man about town. I like that saying, man.

It's kind of fucked up. There should be a movie called that. Man about town. Staunton was a man about town. I like that saying, man. It's kind of fucked up. There should be a movie called that. Man about town. He was a man about town. You telling me Staunton was walking down the street, people weren't like, Staunton! Like the King of Kensington kind of thing. He was a man about town. He was a man about town.

And I'm a man about town. I'm working on my suit, by the way. How'd you get the name Staunton? Well, when he played the guitar, he used to do this with his foot, stomp it, and he used to wear a fucking, he used to put a board on the stage, and he'd wear a hole in the fucking thing by the end of the... But he's already known as Stomping then. I think it was from fighting.

He'd take it to the ground, fucking do some dams, and he'd stomp it. No, he wouldn't. That is not how he got his name. I heard he was a good fighter, man. Stompin' Tom, I bet you he wasn't in a fight in his life. He wasn't a fighter. He was a lover. How do you know? How do you know he was a lover?

I know the legend of Stompin' Tom. What's the legend? He was a very kind, wonderful man. He wasn't fighting people. He just did a lot of banging. I people. He just did a lot of banging. I'm not saying he did a lot of banging. I don't know. You said he was a lover, man, not a fighter.

Well, I'm using it as an expression. He was a lover, not a fighter. I don't mean I know his actual sex life. Do you love him? Or did you love him? Not the way you're going to make fun of me that I do. Okay, did you love him? I love Stomp Tom, yeah.

I think he's awesome. You love her. I'm not saying that. Speaking of banging... Just did. You ever been banged by a ghost? What? No, Ricky.

I guess that's what's going on these days. Sucks ghosts. Ricky. Yep. I'll debunk this theory right now. Ghosts don't exist. They do sometimes. They're banging people, Bob.

There's a fucking, these British athletes, they're some reality show, and one of the ladies got penetrated by what she said was a ghost, some kind of being. Penetrated. That by what she said was a ghost, some kind of being. Penetrated.

That's what she claims. I believe in ghosts, man. That could happen. I could see that happening. You guys are fucked. No, man. There's stories of, like, fucking ghosts moving things around and closing doors and stuff. They could easily take their fingers and go like that or, you know, the other thing and right in there.

If they can move a door, they can move things into bodies. She never said whether it was good or not. If it was good, then she may not have fucking complained or told anybody about it. But there's people out there getting banged by ghosts all the time. Obviously, the ghost had no game. Okay, so, first of all, ghosts don't exist. But just saying, I'm just saying hypothetically. Well, they do had no game. Okay, so, first of all, ghosts don't exist. But just saying.

I'm just saying hypothetically. Well, they do, so yeah. Go ahead. Ghosts do exist. No, they don't. Yes, they do, man. There's been footage. Fuck.

What footage? There's been footage. Want me to try to find some footage? Oh, fuck. All right. So hard to fake ghost footage. This sex ghost shit, it's real, man. Like, it's a big thing now.

You know that fucking Bobby Brown guy? He got banged by a ghost. Bobby Brown did not get banged by a ghost. He did. He told 20-20-20. And if you're telling those fucking guys, it's real. The talk show, 20-20. Bobby Brown told him he got banged by a ghost.

Yep. I don't know if it was a male ghost or a female ghost, but he said he got banged by a ghost. Yep. I don't know if it was a male ghost or a female ghost, but he said he got banged by a fucking ghost. He didn't say he banged a ghost, so I'm guessing it was either a female ghost with a strap on. Or a gay ghost. Or a non-gay male ghost. A non-gay male ghost banged Bobby Brown from New Edition.

Okay, he's saying he did have sex with a ghost. Okay, so it may have been a female. Bobby Brown does a lot of drugs, boys. He said he wasn't high. He said he wasn't dreaming. Nothing. And what happened? a lot of drugs. He said he wasn't high. He said he wasn't dreaming. Nothing. And what happened?

It was in a spooky mansion and a ghost fucking banged him. Oh my God. He was probably in a crack. He's done a lot of crack in his day. So did he bang a ghost

or a ghost held him down? He bought this mansion in Georgia. It was really, really spooky. One time I woke up and yeah,

a ghost. I was being mounted by a ghost. I wasn't high. I was not tripping. A ghost mounted him. Oh, my God. You guys have finally fucking lost your minds. It's official.

Podcast number 83, Julian and Ricky lost their fucking minds. You know what? There's going to be a lot of ghosts. You better watch who you're chirping, because these ghosts might come into your shed and say, coming aboard you, bud. Big old rally. Do you have any idea how unafraid I am

of getting gang-banged by a group of ghosts? It's going to happen, man. I'm going to try to find some more. There's got to be some more fucking evidence. I'll declare it right now. If there's any ghosts listening, I fucking dare you to try to bang me oh my god you're stupid why would you do that can ghosts have intercourse with humans coming up yes and now you fucking challenge them i challenge any ghost in this room to try to get it in me it should be anywhere in you

well it's not going to happen. So you're hoping that a ghost is going to come up on you? No, I'm not hoping. Crazy, you're a male ghost. I'm proving a point that it's impossible. Any cute male ghosts out there, you know, handsome, buff dudes, want to penetrate him, he's all game. Okay, any big, butchy female ghosts that want to try to mount me,

climb aboard. They look like men. Climb aboard. And have strap-ons on. You have to include the rest of the community as well. Any kind of ghost, transsexual, transgender, gay, bi, straight, I don't care. I challenge any of them. They're all equal in my books.

Any ghost that wants to try to... That was well said, man. That was very nice. Any ghost that wants to try to take a run at me, bring it on, because it isn't gonna happen because they don't exist. Anybody that sees him drunk at the Legion this week, which will happen Saturday night, he will bang you.

See, you think you're talking... The funny thing is, is you think you're talking to ghosts right now, and I'm making a joke. No, I'm talking to humans. Humans, anyone can bang you. No, I'm now, and I'm making a joke. No, I'm talking to humans. Humans, anyone can bang you. No, I'm talking ghosts. I'm not challenging humans. But they were once humans, so it's the same thing.

So are you paying? For what? Isn't paying where you don't see sex? Oh, I thought you said paying. I'm not paying for anything. No. Paying? What's paying?

I think you left them out. What's paying? I think that left them out. What's paying? I think that means you don't see sex, doesn't it? I don't know. You don't see gender? I don't know what it is. That's what you sound like. Okay, yes.

That's really cool. Any kind of. That's fine. I will, whatever that is, I'll say yes to that. I've never heard of that, but it doesn't exist. Everything you need to know about ghost sex right here, buddy. Ghost sex. Because you are going to be getting fucked by some ghosts

tonight. You just put that fuck in. I am not. Any ghost will fuck. Yeah, any ghost can fuck you now. No. Alright, let's get on the Ouija board. We should have a Ouija board and do that. You know what? Get a fucking Ouija board out here. I've done it. It works.

Oh yeah, it works. It fucking works, man. How good are you with computers? Very. Good. Because we can start making money without even leaving the fucking trailer.

Oh, you fuck ghosts. You do all these weird wire transfers with, you know, bank numbers that might be from somewhere else and you move money around and bring it back to us. That's what this guy in Florida did. He stole $7 billion because he said... $7 billion fucking dollars?

That's a lot. He said Jesus... $7 billion. He said he did it because Jesus wanted him to be wealthy. Well, he did a good job getting it, but he obviously got caught, right? Yeah, that's what I'm saying if Buzz is better than this guy. This guy said he was self-taught. Well, he's obviously, Ricky, I'm not a hacker that can hack into fucking banks and stuff

and start shuffling billions of dollars around. If I was, obviously, he would have been on me to do it already. Well, we don't need billions. No. Like, if we had like a hundred grand here and there. He fucked up. He took too much. If he just took a little bit here and there. He wouldn't have noticed.

Who's not going to notice a hundred grand? There's a lot of fucking people that want a hundred thousand. How about a thousand grand? I mean, a thousand dollar grand. Or, what is it? A thousand. A grand. Ten grand.

One grand. You're not going to notice that. You wouldn't notice that. What if you only got eleven hundred bucks in the bank? No, we're not going to take people like that. Like, you don't fucking collect the people that don't have money. Take from big fucking dumb companies and rip us off. So, like, who?

Give me a big company you'd like to rip off, Ricky. Oil. Exxon. Oil. Hey, we're on the same fucking page, buddy. Big oil company. So you want me to learn computer hacking? Yep.

So that I can bust into Exxon's fucking bank account and take a thousand bucks? You can't do it. There's no fucking way you can do it. I'm not saying I could. What about airlines? Airline companies. There's more chance of me getting fucked by a ghost than there is of that happening. Well, you're going to get fucked tonight, buddy.

Oh, man, you're going to get gang banged. Also, you've got to be asleep for a ghost to bang you. Don't know. Maybe you're having a dream. Ever think about. Oh, so you gotta be asleep for a ghost to bang you? Don't know. Maybe you're having a dream. Never think about that. Well, you're gonna have some weird dreams tonight, buddy. That's right.

Oh, I know what you guys are gonna do now. You're gonna build a fucking ghost and you're gonna put it on a string and put it in my shed and get it on top of me trying to... A little pup that has a dildo that's gonna be ran up your ass. Some kind of jackhammer device. Because that's what's gonna happen. Yeah, that's what will happen. That's not, see, you know what? That's not getting banged by a ghost.

That's getting banged by your weird friends. We're not going to fucking do that. That's different. That can happen. That would be the last thing that would ever happen. That can happen. I'm saying real ghosts. How can a ghost bang you anyway?

You can put your hand right through a ghost. Like I said, they can move things, man. They can close doors. They can ram something in your ass. If they have enough energy, they can make that part of them make it feel real. He's watching. So a ghost is going to focus all his energy to his wiener.

Well, that's what most people do anyway. Mm-hmm. True. It's probably the one thing they can do easily. Okay, boys, here's a question for you. What? Fucking today, it's 2017. There's cameras literally everywhere

on the fucking planet. Right, yup. There's cameras, everybody's got cameras on their phones and cameras all over the fucking sky. There's not one fucking video of a ghost. I'm going to find one right now. A fake one? Nope.

Okay, you look up a ghost video. Preferably a ghost sex video. Paranormal hunters or whatever those shows are called. Ghost hunters. Every fucking week you watch it. Guess what? Oh, fuck, I heard something. Didn't see a ghost. I got a machine here that goes beep, beep, beep. Hunters or whatever those shows are called ghost hunters every fucking week you watch it guess what oh fuck I heard something didn't see a ghost. I got a machine here that goes beep beep beep when there's a ghost around Somebody built a fucking ghost detector

That's all bullshit Good giga meters or whatever the fuck they call them ghosts ghosts can fucking Take a big hydraulic sock on my nuts. They're probably gonna tonight. They're gonna. Probably tons of them. There's not many people out there saying,

please, ghost, bang me. All of you. It doesn't matter who. Like, that's a, you know. Yeah, they're probably afraid to try to approach me. Let's have a seance right now. Let's do it. And see if we can get, like, a sex ghost. What do we need?

Fire? No, we don't, Ricky. Right now. Let's do it. And see if we can get like a sex ghost. What do we need, fire? No, we don't, Ricky. What is this, Hans? Is it you gotta sacrifice something? No, Ricky, we're not sacrificing. Sacrifice this cow. No, we're not sacrificing. That thing's leaking. I can smell propane.

We're all about to explode. It's okay, Bubs. Wish I had a fucking holster for this thing. Why do you got a little cow, Ricky? I got some animals. He's got a little friend here, right? Well, who's that? Has he got horns? You got two cows.

Yeah, but see, this one's got the horns, so. That's Paul. That's the stud. See? That's gonna be you in a ghost tonight, Bups. Couldn't be better. It's the stud. See? That's going to be you in a ghost tonight, pups. Couldn't be a cow ghost. Oh, so animal ghosts rape people too, do they?

I don't know. I haven't heard about that. Oh, my God. You guys are fucked. You guys are completely fucking out of your minds now. You believe in ghosts. I heard about a good fucking thing to say if you get caught for speeding. I thought it was a cab.

This cab in England? He got caught for speeding and he said he was speeding because his passenger's farts stunk so bad he had to get the fucking fare over with quick. It's a good one. That could be true, though. Like, I've been in vehicles with you where I almost choked to death. And if I, I would have jumped out if the door had worked. Yeah. It gets pretty rancid in that car of yours bud.

In my car with no fucking front door. Exactly. It fights the fresh air Ricky. That's the unbelievable part. Imagine if we were in a contained vehicle with windows. It's whenever you fucking go even near broccoli, something happens, you know what? Broccoli and water. Something happens to you.

It's not good. Broccoli and water is a bad fucking combo. You're allergic to broccoli, I think. I'm sure don't air fucking omelets are gonna do a bit of damage later to us. We shall see. Jesus. Don't have that torch going, whatever you do.

What do you got there, bro? Is we playing a game or what's happening? Well, I've got Jeopardy! queued up here. damage later to us. We shall see. Don't have that torch going, whatever you do. What do you got there, bro? Is we playing a game or what's happening? I've got Jeopardy queued up here. Fuck, let's get it on, man. Fuck all this other shit. Really? Do we want to have a fucking championship round?

One round. Winner takes all. Okay, so we got to let's, you know what the problem is? No, no, I shouldn't say that in case I lose the first round. You know what we should do? We never have, the stakes are never high enough. Okay. So let's make it so that...

What's the prize? Uh... Hmm. Wow, I really stumped you. Well, I could throw in a couple of joints. No, it should be something that you... 50 bucks. No, it should be something that if you lose, you really don't want to do. Someone's got to sleep in the same room as you tonight while you're getting banged by ghosts.

That'd be horrible. That's a horrible thing. Somebody has to take Randy on a date. Okay, then. Now we're talking. No fucking way. Now we're talking. What?

Well, maybe not a date. You're not smart enough to beat him? Are you kidding me? No, sometimes... Let's not call it a date in case. You're not smart enough to beat him? Are you kidding me? That was some time... Let's not call it a date, in case I lose. But someone has to take him out to dinner. Someone has to squire him about the town. How about that?

You need to take Randy for lunch. And hold hands. Not happening. So you're not confident you can beat Ricky at chapter... I don't need to play this game that bad. Let me hear the categories first. All right. The categories are

ballet, the nifty thirties, you need a drink, zip it, the British prime minister when, or double-double all. Zip it. The British Prime Minister when? Or double, double, all? Double, double, oh.

These are good categories. I need a drink. All right, I'll take you need a drink. Okay, number between one and ten to see who starts. Ricky, number between one and ten. Seven. Do I have to say that loud? Yes. Three. Seven. Do I have to say it out loud? Yes. Three.

Seven. Five. Five? Five minutes. He said seven. Yeah. What does that mean? It was six, so who wins? I don't know.

Me. Why? You overbid. If the price is right, you'd be done. This is not the fucking price is right. You did overbid. But I got the highest. First category is Ricky.

I'll give it to him anyway. I'll give him his little drink category. I'm confident that I can fucking win this. Okay, so Julian's up first with you need a drink for how much, Julian? $1,000. Whoa. My God, Julian's going right for it. Scroll that puppy down, buddy.

He's going right for the jugular. God, Julian's going right for it. Scroll that puppy down, buddy. He's going right for the jugular. For 1,000, white and red wine differ in that the stems and these two other parts of the grape are not used for white. What other parts of the grape? Yeah, I thought you don't know fuck all about wine. What is the skin? I was going to say the skin, and what else, though?

Well, he rang in first. Fuck. It's two things. Skin and seeds. Holy fuck, he got it. Is that it? He got it. Yeah!

Common sense, buddy. Julian is up a thousand fucking cents. So they use seeds in red wine? I think, when they make the mashy stuff where you're in there with your feet. Oh, my fuck. I'm so pissed off right now. That's a dumb question. I was going to say seeds.

Julian's got it for a thousand. I'm not even going to answer that. Ricky's going to be holding it with Randy. Fucking awesome. Okay, next category, Julian. Fucking bullshit. You need a drink 800, 900. Fucking bullshit category.

800. Fuck, his time ran out. That's fucking bullshit. He needed to drink 800, 900. Fuckin' bullshit, Calgary. He needed 800. Fuck, his time ran out. That's fuckin' bullshit. You need a drink for 800. To make this four-letter drink, the rice has to be milled because the starch, which ferments, is in the sake. What is sake? What is wine?

Oh. Sake, it is sake. Hang on. Holy fuck, Ricky! Fuck! Ricky coming up the rear at 800. You're only 200 ahead of him. How the fuck did you know that, Ricky? Lucy likes it.

It's fucking weird. It's disgusting. But she loves it. Japanese wine. Sake. Sake. I did say wine. Doesn't matter.

It's sake. Okay, Ricky. You get to pick now. Fuck, it's a tough one, isn't it? Let's stick with that category, man. Same category. 600. No, what do I need to time?

Huh? What do I need to time? Only 200 points. You get this question, you take the lead by 400. Oh, okay. You're 1,000, he's 800. Yeah, but he wins. Let's go with the 200 one. No, 600, Ricky gets to pick. A person... Is this the right...

A person used to be smashed onto a new boat as a sacrifice. This effervescent drink is less... What is champagne? What is champagne? I said it first, man. I am declaring a mismatch there. The buzzer, you both yelled what is champagne at the same time.

All right, first one. Go to 100. Man, we're good at this category. You need a drink for 400. To be patriotic during World War II, this soda, invented in 1898, adopted red, white, and blue colors, still on its logo today. What the fuck is Pepsi? Uh-uh.

Oh, boys. I'm done. He's got her. Yeah! 1,400 to 800. Done, man. Next category. No, we're not done.

You know what? I could easily float right now. I'm not gonna. Let's keep it going. Float? I'm not gonna answer a fucking thing and just watch him go. Okay, so what's your next pick? Drinks.

Drinks for 200. George Washington was a fan of this holiday drink, but used whiskey and brandy as well as rum. What does Agnog? Fucking Julian knows his drinks. You're fucking right, so I do. I didn't know that. That's just common sense. I was gonna say a hot toddy. Fuck!

Eggnog. Alright, I'm done. 100. No, 100. No, this was the double round where it starts at 200. That category's finished. Alright, 100. No, this was the double round where it starts at 200. That category's finished. All right, so I won. What are the other fucking categories? I hate this game.

Okay, I think we should do a one-question winner-takes-all. No fucking way. No, I know what you're going to do, man. I'm not going to do anything. You're going to go right to ballet, and we're not going to know a fucking thing. No, let's go with the zip-it, man. Zip-it for what? How much? Let's go 200.

200. 200. To 58102, to send it to this biggest North Dakota city, you betcha. I don't have a fucking clue what that means. What in the fuck? The category is zip it. So zip code? And the question is, to 58102, to send it to this biggest North Dakota city.

So that's the zip code. The biggest North Dakota city. Yeah. Really? Biggest North Dakota city, boss. Next question. No, I'm thinking North Dakota, Mickey. No, what is that, man?

I don't know fucking geography and shit. It's a movie, like. Hey, hey, no, you fucking cheated. What? Who is Fargo? No, it's not Fargo, man.

No, it's fucking not North Dakota. God damn it. Fargo! And you told him. I didn't. Alex gives hints. You said it was a movie.

All right, I win that. I didn't. Alex gives hints. You said it was a movie. All right, I win that. I still win. I won. Done. We didn't finish. Out of here. No, I fucking won, man. You are now going on a date.

Well, who's going to set up the date? Ricky, you got to take Randy on a date. Hold his hand. It's not a date. It's dinner. No, it's a date. But you got to hold his hand. Which makes it a date? I don't remember No, it's a date. But you gotta hold his hand at the dinner table.

I don't remember us making that rule. We made several rules. You had to hold his hand, there has to be a candle burning, and you have to glare into his eyes lovingly. And give him a goodnight kiss. No, no, no. This deal got changed along the way. No, you just hide. Originally it was a date, which got changed to dinner.

I don't remember anything about hand holding or fucking kisses goodnight. Well, you gotta do it because I kicked your ass. It was close. I'm getting banged by a ghost, so the least you can do is go on a date with Randy. Great. All right, that's it. I'm out of here. Done? What was today's episode brought to you by?

I go to the trailerpertboys.com site and fucking click the merch and buy shit. Plane crashes. What else happened? And April Wine. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,