Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 84 - Blah Blah Blah, It's Alex Lifeson!

Episode Date: March 7, 2017

This week’s podca$h comes to you from the Gibson Guitar Factory in Memphis, Tennessee. As if that wasn’t DECENT enough, the Boys are joined by Rock and Roll Hall of Famer, Rush’s Alex Lifeson! And boy, is he ever messed up! Episode 84 is brought to you by the Official Trailer Park Boys Store!  

We should have got some like real food instead of this this shit. I'm starving. What about this? This is great. This is like finger food. I want like you know appies maybe a mean course. Where's the fucking thing started? I'm fucking hungry.

You're embarrassing me. This is the most excited I've been on a podcast. We have a fucking very special guest today. Looks like something rash is here. Right on. Did we say we're started? Yeah, man. I usually do the start. Well, I'm too excited.

All right, what's going on, fuckers? This is the official Trailer Prep Boys podcast. It's coming at you right now from fucking Memphis. And we're pretty pumped up for this because, like Bubz said, special guest right over there. We're also at the Gibson Guitar Factory, which is pretty fucking badass. Look at the fucking money on the wall here. Money.

That is money right there. Lots of it. Boys, usually when you introduce a guest, you let them fucking say something. Jesus. We were getting to it. Well, I know. Did you want to say anything? See, he's eating. Yeah, Bubz, fuck it up. Great timing getting to it. Well, I know. Do you want to say anything? See, he's eating.

Yeah, Bubz, fuck off. Great timing, Bubz. Well, I'm just saying. You guys are being dicks. All right, roll loud. Okay, Al, finish chewing up. You know, chew it up, get it down. You got to say something at some point.

It's that beef jerky. Ricky Alex ate your beef jerky. I'm sorry I gave it to him. Jesus Christ. Well, all right. Well, alright. Okay, we're waiting for Al. I guess that's what you do when you're fancy and rich and rockstar. You just eat whatever the fuck you want.

Ricky. It's alright. Hi, guys. Hey, Al. It's good to have you here, man. How are you doing? Yeah, it's a pleasure to be here. And it's a real pleasure to be here at the Gibson factory here in Memphis, son. It's amazing.

This is unbelievable. It's like being in a candy store. Yes, being like in a candy store. I'm just going to figure out how we're going to get all these guitars out of here. Ricky, you're not taking any guitars from Gibson. There's a lot of money worth of guitars here. Well, this one here. Can I show everybody this one?

Sure, yeah. Look at this, this is the brand new Alex Lifeson signature model. Look at that baby. Oh, that's badass. That is pretty nice. Don't touch it, Ricky, keep your hands off it. Greasy little fingers. What is that thing retail for now, if somebody wanted to buy that off the street? Uh, for about $175,000. What's that for now, if somebody wanted to buy that off the street? Uh, for about $175,000. Jesus Christ. That's a lot of money for a guitar. 175K, right there.

What's it called? It's a guitar. No, yeah, but is it a special... what is it? It's a guitar. It's a Gibson guitar. It's an ES Les Paul. And why is it called a signature edition? Because I have my signature on it. Because, Rick, you know what a signature is, right?

Look, what's that say? Alex Lyson right there. That means it's his personal type. It's weird, though. It's not like you built it or whatever. I mean, if you painted a painting and you put your name on it, it would make more sense than... You know. Yeah.

Unless you built it, I guess. That's a good point. Ricky. Yeah, I thought about coming here and actually building all of them. But... Yeah. I don't know what I'm doing.

If you built a guitar, would it be all fucked up? Probably. Like, you don't know how to actually, you know, shape the wood? No, I don't know how to use tools. Glue is always tricky. I don't like glue. Yeah. Glue is tricky.

I do like paint. But I'm not a... Glue can be tricky. Ricky's glued all kinds of shit to his body. Ricky's accidentally glued things to himself, nailed things to himself, screw gun things to himself. Oh yeah. Staple things to himself. You glued a model airplane or something to your unit didn't you? Yes the wing from a B-17 bomber when I was building it when I was a little guy. I got the glue on it and I dropped it. An army bird.

Yeah, but why were you doing it with no pants on or underwear? That's what I'd like to know. And why a bomber? That's fucked up. I just, I was, I got it as a present. B-17 and it was, the wing was about that big, you know, and at the time my bird was, you know, a little much.

Did you have a Stuka as well? I did have a Stuka, a German Stuka. And I had a Messerschmitt. An ME 109? Yes, I did. I had an ME 109. I had a Stuka. I had a B-70E. I had all kinds of planes.

And then Ricky broke them all, fucking around. Didn't Ricky have a model truck or something? I did. It's glued to his nose. I did have a truck with my hand. He glued glued to his nose. I did have a truck glued to my hand. He glued it to his hand. He did to his hand. Oh, it was a cloth or something.

Yeah, and Conky was... He had a rag glued to his face that had ether on it. Yeah. You don't really get along with Conky very well. I do not like Conky at all. And if I ever see him again, I will probably kill him again. Why is that?

Is that because he always used to call you out on everything? He calls me names, he gets inside my head, and I just can't deal with him. And he just won't fight me like a man. He just teases me. Well, basically, Conk, he's smarter than Ricky. That's what he's so pissed off about. He's not smarter than me. He's just like a puppet that's smarter than him. He's not smarter than me. He's way smarter than you, man.

He might be. Well, I have nothing to compare, I'm going to be honest. Nothing. I don't know anything about today. I don't know anybody's birthday. It's almost my birthday, but it's not. When's your birthday? 20th.

So when's that? Of which month? This month, March. March the 20th. 10 days, Ricky. That's how that works, right? Yeah. Yeah, all the days are sequential. He is smarter than Conky. It's how that works, right? Yeah. Yeah, all the days are sequential.

Hey, he is smarter than Conky. It's just harder to figure out because there's only 7 days in a week. Yeah, but you can just do math too, Ricky, like 20 minus 10. But that's the same on calendars, right? What's up with all the days in the month? Like sometimes it's 30, sometimes it's 31, sometimes it's 28. It's dumb. 20, it's not 9.

You should have made them all the same. Then people would be able to figure it out a lot easier. Yeah, you could do the math a lot better. Like, 7 goes into 30 how many times? Don't ask him that.

6 goes into it a little bit easier. 6? I think 14, 16, 17, 26. Yeah, there's 360 days a year. Carry the five, Ricky, 365.

And a quarter. Guy, I can't, Alex Lifeson's here. This is fucking embarrassing. You're talking about how many fucking days are in the week and shit. Well, he started it, actually. Okay. Let's talk about something exciting. Al, the best fucking gig ever.

Okay. Numero uno. Oh, the best gig ever. So this is a tough question. Well, Julian, that is a tough question because, you know... Yeah, Julian, that's like saying, what's your favorite song of music? Hey, Bubz, it's better than talking about how many fucking days are in the month. True.

Okay. Okay, I'll give you that. We're going to let him answer? All right, top, top. Okay, one of the top ones. It doesn't have to be the, you know... One of the best gigs ever. One of the best gigs.

I don't know. It's like saying, what's your favorite blowjob? It's like all gigs are great. That's a good point. And it's just so much fun to be up in front of people and playing. Yeah, sorry. What the fuck is going on? And you know what?

I'll tell you something, though. Truthfully, you can play a gig in the smallest place, small crowd, not even into it. But if you have a good night and you play really well and the band is really on, and that doesn't happen all the time. It's not even... So, Rosh had nights where they weren't that good, you mean? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we had a lot of nights where we were like 99.8%. Well, that's still pretty good. I will admit that.

I wouldn't call that a bad night. Oh, that's awful. I wouldn't call that a bad night myself. No, that's... But I think, you know, it doesn't matter how big the crowd is, because, I mean, I play at the Legion for five, six people. But if I'm on, you know,

I leave there feeling pretty good. Yeah, and they feel good, too. And they're veterans. They deserve to feel good. What's the biggest crowd you ever played to? We played to half a million people. Holy shit. Half a million? Yeah. Jesus.

Oh, that was at the fucking Sars concert. That's right. Yeah. I remember that. Yeah, that was in 2003. I remember that. The whole country was in 2003. I remember that. The whole country was there, I guess? Yeah, the Rolling Stones opened for us. The CTC also opened for us.

Everybody opened for us that day. That was cool. Justin Timberlake. Wow. That was pretty big. But that gig was cool. And we took the train from downtown Toronto. It was the only way to get into the gig.

There were too many people. You couldn't get in any other way. What about a helicopter? Oh, yeah. Never thought of that? No, I didn't think of that. And it was at De Havilland. It was at Downsview Airport.

We should have taken a helicopter. We got ripped off. I can't believe you didn't think of that. You're at an airport and you didn't think to fly in? Duh. Like on a hovery thing? Yeah, hovery things would absolutely get us there. But the train was interesting.

It was fun. Because, you know, trains are fun. What's the craziest thing that ever happened? Like on the road, do you get any crazy, you know, where you're just like, I can't believe that happened. Like, did you guys used to rack hotel rooms and fire TVs out into the pool and stuff? There was this one time where Neil was reading a book.

Yeah. And we took it and we hid it. That's awesome. That was so great. That's not that. And he was, like, in the middle of a chapter. It drove him nuts. That's not that... And he was like in the middle of a chapter. It drove him nuts. That's not that crazy, really though. What did he... What did you say happened?

They hid... They hid his book. Neil was in the middle of a book and they hid it. Yeah, fuck. That's fucking crazy. What about when you were torn with casting stuff? Is that like... You didn't do any, you know, smashing hotels and roasting goats or anything?

You were just hiding books. The goat roasting happened occasionally, but, um... I was just joking. Is that goat or something, or is that roasting? It's a goat, an actual goat, and you roast it. And you cook it in your room, on its members? Wow. Yeah.

That's funny. You know, a lot of the, uh, Holiday Inn hotels have those units that are right by the window for cooling and heating. You know, you press the little button on it. Well, some of them can get really, really hot. You'd throw a whole goat on that thing, and you'd cook it up. Like, that's what they should have had at Rendezvous. Yes, they should have. If they had roasted goat.

Oh, I don't know that. Or boiled goat, maybe. Or deep fried goat that's been boiled. That would be awesome. Deep fried goat that's boiled? I'm having trouble wrapping my brain around it. Yeah, I don't want to eat goat. Would you just take the whole deep fryer and put it in a big pot and boil the whole thing while it's deep frying?

Or how would you do that? Well, you'd get a big deep fryer. Yeah. Put the whole goat in, deep-fry a nice golden, crispy goat, then toss it in a big vat of boiling water for about three and a half hours, I think is probably the perfect time. Take that sucker out, carve it up.

I think it would just disintegrate, wouldn't it? Delicious for the whole family. We should try it for Christmas. Yeah, Christmas goat. Yeah. Yeah, carve it up. I think it would just disintegrate, wouldn't it? Delicious for the whole family. We should try it for Christmas. Yeah. Christmas goat. Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. I can't eat a goat, man.

I'm not eating a fucking goat. They're cute. They look like demons. Goats. Don't they? They have those weird eyes. They do, kind of. Demon goats.

Demon goats. Demon goats. That's fucked up. Frankie? Would you say you're a pretty big part of the band? Probably the largest part of the band. Yeah. Because, I mean, some people probably think maybe you're the weakest member of the band or whatever. Probably the other guys in the band.

No, they don't. I don't believe that. I guarantee it. You guys are a good band though. Well thanks. That means a lot coming from you. The words I don't really understand mostly. Neither do I. But the music is neat.

Yeah, neat. It's neat music. And the drumming. Good drumming. Yeah, the bass. The bass sounds good. It's all very good. It's very good. Yeah Good drumming. Ricky. The bass sounds good. It's all very good. It's very good. Yeah, Ricky.

Thanks. You're good at compliments, Ricky. Yeah, he is. He's a complimenter. All right, Ricky, if you had tickets to go see Rush or go see Helix, what would you pick? Choose one of them. See, I'd have to say Rush because they've got more good songs. I mean, Helix did have that one brilliant fucking song.

But... See, I don't... Didn't they have a lot of follow-ups after that? It's just cool that we ask the audience to give them letters and they do. Yeah, but Ricky... There's never been a song like that, really. Like a spelling song? Yeah, like, give me an R.

People say R. Ricky, that's... It's not that brilliant. No, it's not. That was one of the biggest songs ever, wasn't it? No. You think fucking Rock You by Helix is one of the biggest songs in history?

It's in my top three or four, yeah. Maybe in the trailer park. But, I mean, you guys have some really good guitar players. Ricky, are Heelix in the fucking Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? They're going to be. They've been nominated. No, they haven't. Oh, yeah, you guys are in that, right?

Yeah. Yes, they're in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I seem to remember your speech or something was really different for that. Yeah, what happened there? Did you short out? No. Was there drugs involved with that? No, I wish. You know speeches, they're all the same, right?

Speeches suck. Speeches suck. I thought it was awesome, actually. It was? There was a ballsy move. I bet you if Donald Trump used my speech, he'd be president of the United States today. Well, he is. He is?

Yeah. Somehow, yeah. I think that's one of the best speeches that's ever been given. Like, when they show clip shows of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 50 years, they're going to show that speech because it was so fucked. I think, yeah, it's one of the greatest ones ever. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That was long, too. Yeah. You didn't just do it for a couple seconds.

You really went for it. What did the other guys, did the other guys laugh at that one? No. No. No, they weren't laughing at all. Oh. I think at first they were laughing, but then they were not laughing. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah It just kept going on and on, but that's the best part of it. And then at one point you took out a paper. My actual real speech.

But it didn't stop. Right. I don't know what I was thinking. It was awesome. So you actually had a speech that you had prepared and then you just said, fuck this. So when did it snap in? That I was going to do that speech instead? Yeah. When I was walking up the stairs onto the

Is that true? You just decided at the last second, I'm going to fuck this up? Yeah. Because, you know, we had our speeches on teleprompters, and mine came up, and I just thought, okay, I'm going to go for it with this blah, blah, blah thing. Wow. And I figured I could, it's like going over a cliff, and it's a 100 foot drop or it's a two foot drop. Yeah, you went sailing right off. I went sailing over. And then once you're in it, there's no turning back.

But you know what was amazing was Ricky understood it. He knew exactly what you were saying. Well, it's just your body language, yeah. I mean, you're a very body language kind of a guy. What does that mean? Not only did he understand it, he could spell it. He could? He could spell the whole thing.

He could transcribe the whole speech if he had to. I pretty much remember word for word. All right, I got something here for you, Al, because I know sometimes, you know, you've been around, you've had white T-shirts on, and you could clearly see your nipples, right? Didn't want to say anything to you. In Japan, they came up with a white t-shirt that'll conceal the nipples.

Why would you want to conceal the nipples? The women, it's fine, but, you know. What's wrong with the rec male nipples? Well, you can see the old line. He wears the really thin fabric. You can see the nipple. So you're looking at Alex's nipples. They were like Judd Note, man. They were like, you know, Farrah Fawcett. They're see the nipple. So you're looking at Alex's nipples. They were like Judd Note, man.

They were like, you know, Farrah Fawcett. They're like camel nipples. It's a camel nipple. How did it make you feel when you saw them? It didn't make me feel like anything, man. I was just like, fuck. Well, you're looking up ways to fucking conceal them, so it must drive you crazy. I didn't look this up.

This was just here. Do you Google that? Just hiding nipples or what do you? Do I what? Do you Google that? Hiding nipples or what do you... Do I what? Did you Google it? Concealing male... I was googling some stuff that wasn't men's... Look in his search history. I loved it all the time. Boys that was on a fucking site okay. I'm just saying there's a shirt for you now Al. It's in Japan. You know Customs and Immigration can check your computer when

you come down You better be careful with that stuff. Yeah, they see something on there. I'll ask you about it Yeah, they'll say stuff like this. All right, I googled nipple, but then the male nipple shirt came up Okay, it wasn't I wasn't googling male nipples You get them online or what do you how do you get them you? Fuck out just a second how come you're so fast in it with the male nipple yeah don't you jesus you guys are bugging me saying i've got a wrecked nipple so i'm just i don't even want your white t-shirts i'll wear his white t-shirts no no no

we said you have a wrecked nipple yeah yeah who said that i've noticed i've noticed the other day when you were walking back you fell down on the sidewalk, and we dragged you back, and it wrecked your nipple. Yeah, it almost, like, totally shaved it right off the pavement. It's probably from when you used to wear those mesh shirts. I never wore those mesh shirts. Yeah, you had a fucking San Diego charge. It was mesh, and your nipples used to stick right through the holes. It was cool back then.

Whose name was on the back? That's a good question. Lonnie Anderson. That's a weird one. Lonnie Anderson. Lonnie Anderson. Keep drinking, bubs. I'm...

Fuck. Yeah, I'm doing all right. Lonnie Anderson. She didn't play football, did she? I don't think so. She was, who was she? She was on a TV show or something? WKRP.

Yeah, that's it. Last night, he was a fucking nerd, wasn't he? I thought, isn't that how you guys blew up? The radio station played your music? WKRP is not a real station, Ricky. It's a TV show. It's on a TV? Yeah, but it's real, isn't it? Ricky. It's a TV show. It's on a TV? Yeah, but it's real, isn't it?

No. It's based on a true story. WKRP in Cincinnati. Yeah. Les Nesbitt. That didn't, no. That's not real, Ricky. You don't think, Les Nesbitt didn't actually, like, fucking throw 2,000 turkeys, live turkeys, out of a helicopter. Remember that episode?

That was real. That didn't happen. It did. I saw it. You didn't see it, man. It was in fucking Cincinnati. All right. Ricky, do you think every TV show on the TV is real? Not the news. No.

Everything but the news. Fake news. Real. All right, here's another fucked up thing, guys. Is it about male cocks or nipples? No, it's about a male chiropractor. He invents this controversial glue that it's a stick that will contain the women's menstrual flow each month. It's a fucking glue. What the fuck is that?

Beef curtains. Beef curtains? Well, yeah, you know, the flap, you know, the flaps, it glues them together. No, it doesn't. It does. So, man, it's right here. I'm telling you. How do they piss? As soon as they have released urine, it fucking opens up the glue and the rest of the stuff comes out. I think it's kind of, I don't know if women are going to be down with it or not. It's like pistol. That's so scientific. It is pretty scientific. That is a terrible product. So then when you're pissed,

there must be a lot of it built up. Well, yes. That's what happens. But before, you'd have to like, you know. So are they going to expand the line and make arse cheek closers so you don't have to poo? They're not going to.

No. I'd buy some of that. I wonder if you could use it on... I'd like to have a bag like a horse's. The tip of your cock instead of a condom. You probably could, but then again, the piss will, you know, it fucking... There's some kind of reaction that goes on with the glue and the piss.

It would probably hurt the first time you pissed, though. With all that build-up. Junior, you're fucking up some weird fucking business. I'm telling you, guys, that build up. No, but then you can get people's... Julian, you're fucking up some weird fucking business. I'm telling you guys, it's because we're in Memphis. This is what's coming up on my fucking internet, man. It's gotta have something to do with it. Or it could be what you're searching.

Yeah, interesting topics. Normally how it works, right? Gluing together... Oh fuck, I'm... you guys look up some topics. How to glue together pest flies. Everybody wants to know that. Wow. All right. I guess I'm not gonna talk about the other stories, Ab.

What else you got? No, we're now, you started so... Very engaging. What do you got now? All right. Well, this is one place, this guy opened up this restaurant, right? You eat and then you go watch someone get dissected. What great times there. Not another one of those places. This is the first one you go in and here's liver. Hope that was a good dinner. Hold the fuck on. You eat while you're watching this or you eat and then watch?

Yeah, you can do whatever I think. You can sit there snacking and... Why the fuck would you want to do that? So they dissect people there at the restaurant? Yeah. So it's like a... Right there. So you don't have to go anywhere. You can just stay there. You can stay there and they...

That looks like a... It's like a teppanyaki morgue restaurant. Well, they don't eat the people, though, do they? Like, if you order liver, where does it come from? Out of a fella laying on a gurney? The what? If you order liver, where does it come from? They pull it out on a gurney the way if you order liver? Where does it come from?

Who's gonna order liver anyways don't that would be illegal Chicken fingers You guys are fucked You guys are fucked. We're fucked? Well, I'm just saying. Restaurant? Yeah.

Where is that restaurant? It's, uh... Is it here? No, no, no. You should go there for dinner tonight. I would not go there. It's over in the UK. Figures. Yeah.

Figures. Fuck them shit over there. They really know how to eat well in the UK. Crazy Brits and their restaurants where they dissect people. There's one on every corner over there now. Yeah. Those places. Do you play any other instruments or you just said fuck it and I'm just gonna stick with guitar because I'm not bad at it?

Because I'm not bad at it? Sorry, what was the question again? I was still thinking about the restaurant. Do you play any other instruments? Oh. Like a, I don't know, trumpet? Yeah, I play, you know, I play, I play everything. I play everything. I figure it out. Who do you think is the sexiest member of the band? Um, probably, probably Geddy, because his hair is the longest. He does have nice fucking hair. Yeah.

And when he, you know, goes like this, he looks really sexy. When he's singing? Yeah, I'll give you that. I don't know if I do that right. Yeah, that looks like him. See, I can't go that high He does have a high voice

Yeah That's just like My god is he here fuck a better not be I Mean there's a story about this dude, this chick. She's 82 years old. She gets on the phone, calls the number, wrong number, it's a 28-year-old dude. She ends up marrying him. Like, what the fuck is wrong with this guy?

He's 28 and he's marrying a woman who's 82. She's probably rich. Yeah. Or gorgeous. Well, she's... Ow, she's 82, man. Yeah? She could have had a lot of work done. Yeah, I mean, Al, she's probably nice, probably really nice.

He's banging her, though. Like, I don't know, man. Now that you put it that way. Well, what would you rather do, bang someone who's 82 or not bang at all? That's a good question. That is a very difficult question to answer. Of course it is. And what does a 28-year-old fella look like?

He looks like he's 82. He might have a fucking face like a half-chewed caramel, for all you know. No, he's, you know, he's sort of a... He looks like a good-looking guy from a distance. Is that right? He's all right, is he, Ricky? He could do better than, is he, Ricky?

I think he'd do better than, you know, an 82-year-old grandmother. Oh, gosh. Well, you don't know her, so you can't really say that. Hmm. Well... She could have a pretty nice body, I guess. Yeah. Most 82-year-old women do. So now that, you know, Rosh isn't playing anymore... God damn it! I isn't playing anymore.

God damn it. I can't believe it. I was thinking, just thinking out loud, because I have a band called Bubbles and the Shitrockers, and we don't have another guitar player.

Oh. Just thinking, you know. He's way too big and way too good for you. This is probably a conversation you should have, like, not in front of the cameras. What? I'm just thinking out loud. He's out of work. I need somebody to fill in solo and stuff. There's got to be, like, somebody with a million billion dollars that would just somehow make you guys play. A million billion dollars?

It's a lot of money. What we should do, guys, is get, okay, you should get some more drinks going. And maybe we should talk about this in about an hour. All right? Which, was that a million? You mean get Alex drunk and then ask him. Well, you know, we could all get drunk. That's how you do business, bubs.

You get drunk and then contracts come out. And that's how things get done. Oh, my God. I just can't imagine. That's good to know. Have you ever signed a contract drunk? I wish I did. Yeah, it sucks.

Best concerts ever. I mean, there's got to be more. God damn it. You ever play in Japan? Yes. I played in Japan in, I think it was 1984, 83 or 84. We played four shows in Japan. Where at?

Did you play at the Budokan? We played the Budokan in Tokyo. We played in Osaka. We played in Fukuoka. And we played in Osaka, we played in Fukuoka, and we played in Nagoya. I played in, I actually played in those cities too. Did you really? Yeah, with Guns N' Roses.

I got to play at the Budokan. Oh, really? Yeah, I bet you there's only two people in this room that played at the fuck Budokan. Yeah, do you remember at the Budokan that they had a light system, like a green, amber, red? Yes. For the audience? Yeah. If it was green, they could jump up and down and have fun, but if it turned amber, you had to sit down,

and if it turned red, there was big trouble. That's a good idea. It's like a stoplight, and they're conditioned when they see it. Yes, when that red light comes on, they're about to get gained. Yeah, but they never got to that. The amber light, they sat down. And there was a guy actually there working the spotlight when I was there. He was there since, like, the early 60s,

and he was the spotlight guy when the Beatles played. Wow. Really? Yeah. I tried to talk to him, but he speaks Japanese, and he couldn't understand a fucking word I said. When you guys play shows in different countries, do you translate them to that language? Yeah. Oh, Ricky. Geddy's fluent in 15 countries, do you translate them to that language? Yeah. Oh, Ricky.

Geddy's fluent in 15 languages, so... That's awesome. Ricky, he's fucking with you. Do you think Geddy sings Tom Sawyer in Japanese? It would be wicked. How does it go? I don't know, because I can't speak Japanese, but it would be very strange.

It would be different. But does your guitar translate to the different languages? Do you like Japanese notes in Japan? Yeah, yeah. Well, that's would be very strange. It would be different. But does your guitar translate to the different languages? Do you like Japanese notes in Japan? Yeah, yeah. Well, that's the thing with Gibson. They build guitars that will, they're translator guitars, they're called. Like, I have a guitar that plays in Romanian, Hindi.

Ow, what the fuck? Would you stop spitting on me? Sorry. Fuck. He's got a translator guitar, right? He's stop spitting on me? Sorry. Fuck. He's got a translator guitar, right? He's drooling on my fucking laptop. That's why I have, uh, I take 23 guitars on the road with me. Just in case we go to different countries.

It makes sense. I saw on YouTube when you played, when you played in India and you had that Indian guitar. Right. Beautiful. Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah. Very nice. Yes, it was. Are you guys on something that I'm not or something?

No. Well, Ricky, I think, because we've been eating this. Ricky, what's in this beef jerky I've been eating? Yeah, I don't know. It's got a little spray on it. It kind of looked like mushrooms. That jerk. Ricky, did you put mushrooms in with the jerky?

There were some different types of things in there, yes. Oh, my God. Oh, I'm totally on mushrooms right now. This is fucking just great. It's not mushrooms. It's a lot stronger than mushrooms. Oh, what would that be? Ricky, what is in it?

What's it dipped in? It's just a selection of Memphis different types of drugs. It tastes like saliva. Ricky, were you licking the teriyaki off this? Ricky, he did too. He licked all the teriyaki off it. You guys are fucked. Oh.

You know, I'm going to mix up another drink. I'm going to get a contract ready because we're going to be talking about that soon, Al. Okay. All right, see you guys in a bit. You're not leaving. I've got to mix a fucking drink. Okay? I've got to get Bob's.

I'm getting a contract, okay? Come on. Do you have anything you want to promote or any upcoming... Not really. Let me think for a sec. No, not really. Well, there's Bubbles and the Shitrockers concert coming. Bubbles and the Shitrockers concert apparently is coming and I might be... Have you ever written a book or anything?

Uh, no. No, I've written in a book. Like, just today in fact, I signed the inside of a book. Nice. So that kind of makes me a book writer. Not really. No? Do you think you'll keep playing guitar or you'll just get a new job? Rick, he doesn't need a fucking new job.

No, you should keep playing. Yeah, I'm gonna keep playing because, you know, you can never be good enough. No, that's what I mean. I don't mean, I mean you don't need a new type of job. No, I need that too. But yeah, I'm gonna go work in the factory. Yeah, I need that too. No, you don't.

You should stay on the guitar and the first band that opens up that offers your position, you should take it. So, maybe I should audition for something? I mean, if you wanted to play in the shit rockers, you wouldn't even have to. I would skip the audition phase and just say you're in. There's other bands I'm sure you could get in besides yours that would be better and make more money. Well, maybe they're not offering. Maybe they're not offering. Yeah. Well, it's been good.

Yeah. Can you just play us out? Like, just play something. Play us out. $175,000. I got the contracts, okay? It's Bubbles and the Shitrockers, right? Is that what you're talking about? Yeah.

I'm gonna get that. Here's that. Oh. Something I'm working on. The fuck is he doing? His work is brand new material. Brand new material never been heard before. No one can fucking hear it.

Well, the fucking guitar is not fucked in. Nobody can hear it. Fuck. That's new Russian stuff. Let's do Rush. Rush. Give me an arm. Watch. Rush. Rock.

What was it? It's a nice and back. When you are walking Down to school Don't forget your drug kit Because it's the golden rule Take my advice Don't be a fool

Shoot a bad hole Don't bring it to school Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh That was awesome. That was good, man.

Awesome. That's a fucking hit. Yeah, I don't know. I just, I got it, you know? I'm starting to think you are a big part of the band. Yeah, yeah. All right, Al, if you can initial two and three, pages two and three.

No, no, no, no. Wait a second. You should maybe get someone to look at that. No, what are you fucking talking about? I'll get... A lawyer got that together, man. It's all good. Who's your lawyer?

It's a guy back in Sunnyvale. Oh. Steinberg. David Steinberg? Yeah. Yeah. Well, he's my lawyer. Well, there you go.

So just sign it up. We'll talk to him later on. Well, then I don't need to sign it if he's my lawyer. When I do business, I like to lock it in as fast as possible, get things rolling. Got to get a tour together or something. Well, I trust David Steinberg. Okay, you should trust me. You know what, don't even worry about it, Alex.

You take it, lock it over. And when you decide, just let me know. I mean, the pay's pretty good. All right, let's go get drunk, guys. Okay. Yeah, we should. This cheesy just morphed into, like, a mermaid. I gotta go, guys.

A what? A mermaid. Well, that was really, that was great. Thanks, everybody. All right, I'll hold on to this. Tune in next week. It's great to see you. Good luck. Yeah, thanks, guys. Tune in next week. It's great to see you. Good luck.

Yeah, thanks, guys. Tune in next week. Thanks, man. We're not on drugs accidentally.