Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 9 - High as F**k in Amsterdam

Episode Date: October 1, 2015

Ricky, Julian and Bubbles are podcasting from De Dampkring coffee shop in Amsterdam! The Boys discuss the Red Light District, shrimp wangs, and Ricky's swan obsession. Then the weed kicks in and Ricky and Bubs start to lose it BIG TIME... Episode Nine is brought to you by the world-famous El Mocambo live music venue, 464 Spadina Ave, Toronto!

Hey boys, are we getting her going? Let's get her going. Welcome to podcast number nine. I'm very, very excited about today's podcast. Number nine. Number nine. Number nine. You okay, bubs? I'm fucking right out of it. Where are we hanging out today? Oh nothing big going on today, just at a coffee shop In Amsterdam

We're at the Damkring One of the most famous The original Damkring This is the manager here How you doing? How do you pronounce your name? My name is pronounced like Ron. Just like Ron.

Just like Ron. Ron, manager of the Damkring. It's really no different than Ron at... No, when I heard it earlier I thought he said Kron. International name, international. So what does Damkring stand for? What does it mean? Damkring means atmosphere in Dutch.

Oh, nice. But damp is also vapor. Kring is like a ring so you could call it a vapor ring like a smoke ring. Atmosphere vapor ring. Trippy. Yep. You get all that out of one word that's decent. They got a wonderful menu here at the Dampkring. What's on there Richard? Here do you want to read some of these out buffs? Oh I can't read that well right now. They got AG-13, HP Helton, Ghost OG, Holy Grail, Shoreline, OG Kush, Fire, Alien, Romulan. Star Trek read, man.

That sounds like it's pretty crazy. I don't know if we want to smoke that stuff. What's the craziest one on there? What's the most powerful one you think it's hard to say because they you know i think the ag-13 might be the strongest of the sativas eeg-13 that's the stuff we just smoked isn't it yeah i said you're gonna get a mild stuff what's that what's the wheelchair we like a nice indica what would that be like the ghost og yeah candy kush I've tried those, they're fantastic. And my favorite also, the Hashish. There's so many wonderful.

They got Samsara Bodhi, Nepalese Cream, Himalayan Suda, Dura, Bamiyan Buddha, Shabani, Super Bisla, Baraka, Jala, Sahara, Pollen. We've tried a couple so far. I think we'll have to try a couple more of those. What's your favorite hash on there? That must be the Samsara Bodhi at the moment. That's from the Nepalese side, you know?

But the Moroccan side, I think the Sensabil is really, really nice. And if you want to be couched, then go for the Dura. It's like the greasiest hash I've ever seen. Really? We'll try some of that this year. It's like bubble gum almost. Ricky, why do you have a whole brick of it here?

Well, I'm buying some of this because it's awesome. We're going to try to mail it home. We'll see how that goes. That's great. You said that. And we can even get pre-rolled joints as well. You don't even have to roll. They're all pre-rolled.

This is fantastic. There's papers and filters on the bar. I love it here, man. Surface is a high standard, man. I should have been born to you so just just this stuff here no liquor no liquor no no that's no liquor that's changed in 2007 before that we had a full-size bar beers and awesome great down there's a big party time that then the government decided to

change that and then you had to choose from liquor or smoke and we went for the smoke obviously yeah well good enough places enough places in time to get bigger well done that's the way to do that yeah we don't need liquor we'll get liquor after look at this boys did you see the big clog i got? That's a big wooden clog, Ricky. It says Holland on it. This type of shoes they wear over here. I'm gonna take it home. People don't actually wear those, do they?

Yeah, I think so, didn't they? Farmers used to wear these. The farmers wear them still. Still. Big wooden. Otherwise you sink away into clay, man. We'd call those big wooden shit kickers back home. Yeah.

Now you gotta drag that around for the rest of the trip, Bob, so you do know that, right? I don't mind, it's a big shit kicker. I'm gonna put like a little bit of foam in there and it'll make a little kitten bed. I'm gonna have my kitty sleep in that. You kinda need to get lost in the woods

when you're cold and you need to make a fire. Light your shoes on fire, I guess. Although if you're in the woods, I guess that wouldn't make much sense. Ricky, you don't wanna burn your shoes. Why don't you just burn a tree? I know, I guess. Although, if you're in the woods, I guess that wouldn't make much sense. RICKY PIGGYMANN RICKY PIGGYMANN Ricky, I don't want to burn your shoes. Why don't you just burn a tree? RICKY PIGGYMANN RICKY PIGGYMANN I know.

I never thought of it. I'm pretty fucking baked right now. I guess you guys are, too. This place is awesome. RICKY PIGGYMANN RICKY PIGGYMANN I'm having a tough time keeping it together. If we had some booze to balance it out a bit, maybe, that'd be better.

RICKY PIGGYMANN RICKY PIGGYMANN Have some of these wonderful, delicious cakes and cookies and things. RICKY PIGGYMANN RICKY PIGGYMANN I don't know how you do it, man. How are you eating that? What do you mean? You just put it in your mouth and swallow it. No, I know, but it's jammed with weed. Can't even taste it.

It's starving. It's proper made. Proper made. So you can carry around, what is it, five grams here legally? Yeah. You can have five grams of your pork at the person without any problems. Nice.

What if you had sex? Like what would happen? Would they? Well I'm smoking for 36 years and I smoke anywhere you know like I don't overdo it not in big crowds and stuff like that but I never have been stopped by the police in 36 years. I've been smoking next to police. That's pretty awesome. Yeah we don't care really, you know. It's more if you start to make troubles, you know, then they will act. You start acting like a heckling. I think if they catch you with 10 grams in your pocket,

they will slap your hand or something and warn you not to do that again. So it's not legal, but it's not illegal? Well, it's legal inside. Okay. You know, like like there is like a permit that the coffee shop gets. If you have the permit you're allowed to sell wheat to customers five gram a person. You can have only 500 grams in

the shop that you stock. If you have more than that then you can be in deep trouble. That's a pretty good supply. It's not bad supply. But the back door is a different story. We are not allowed to buy it. We are allowed to sell it inside but I do need It's not bad. It's applied. But the back door is a different story. We are not allowed to buy it. We are allowed to sell it inside, but I do need to buy it as well. Oh, that's pretty fucked up. Oh, this is a little bit of... The growing is still illegal.

Little gray area there. Little gray area. That's a gray area, yes, the back door. So if you have 500 and then you go down to 100, you can bring in 400 more? We have to. But they're not allowed to buy it. It's a weird situation. It's a weird situation.

Well, it's a wonderful place anyway. Thank you very much for having us. Yeah, we probably, I guess you probably have to get back to work, do you? I am. It's a very busy place. We will be hanging out here all day once this podcast finishes. I will be. I hope you enjoy yourselves in Amsterdam. Thank you, Ron.

Thanks, Ron. Damn crank. Atmosphere vapor ramp. How are you feeling, Bubbles? Oh, I'm fucking. I'm doing pretty good. Did you guys hear a car alarm? Yeah, I know, but that sun's coming up, and I'm baked in my mind.

It's fucking hot. You know what? I guess I should have a little bit of this. They're a lot of fun. How much weed's in it, Richard guess I should have a little bit of this. They're a little fun. How much weed's in it, Richard? I don't think much. It's not much in it, you sure? No, you don't even taste it.

Fucking delicious, whatever it is. It's amazing. So what are you gonna do while we're here in Amsterdam, boys? Well, I was thinking about, so you know bicycles, you've seen how many fucking bicycles there are. They're fucking everywhere. I've tripped over a couple of goddamn things, yes. I was thinking about, so you know, bicycles. You've seen how many fucking bicycles. They're fucking everywhere. I've tripped over a couple of goddamn things.

I started thinking. Silent killers, they call them. I started thinking there's a fucking gold mine to be tapped into here. You imagine how many fucking bikes are in the canal. All the bikes that you could do. Oh, man, there's a shit ton in that canal. I see what you're saying. There's a bike graveyard here, Ricky, apparently, with 60,000 bikes in it.

No way. 60,000 bikes. If we could somehow get those shipped back. We can't ship them back. We could move over here. I'm thinking about moving over here. This place is incredible. Although I don't like the fact that it's illegal to buy dope.

That's kind of fucked. We can't just move to Amsterdam. Oh, just for a bit. Put in a little shift. We can fucking go diving for bikes in the goddamn canals. I'd come over for a little while. Definitely. Come over for a little while, but we can't.

Although I'd be scared of you over here, Bubbs, once you've got a bit of money and hanging out in those red light places. Yeah, that's what we should be talking about. The red light district here, boys. We took a stroll around there last night. It's pretty pretty interesting that's It's even crazier than I would have thought it is. It's fucking nuts. So I did a little research. Do you know that the

the red light district hawkers The average client turnover rate is six minutes six minutes Six minutes in six minutes out another man six minutes gone six minutes six minutes six minutes in six minutes out another man sex make it gone it's gone it's kind of a bear is you need more than six minutes do you think you never know because you know yeah I would need to fall out full hour well I don't think I could ever get with one of those ladies, although there's nothing wrong with that, I guess. Lots of people love it, but...

Hey, people love doing it now. Yeah, it would take me a lot more than six minutes, because I wouldn't... I don't know, it would feel weird. I don't... I wouldn't pay for it. We got a tour in there yesterday, and they just got old rubber fuck mattresses. Just like a dirty old rubber. Just hoses down?

They just hose her down at the end. Next. Just bring them in, just put them through like cattle. I wonder how many dudes they bang, like, a day. I wonder what that averages. Well, that's the other thing. The two twins, wasn't it? Ron was saying two twins just retired.

They're seven years old. I've got some info on them here. You've got some intel? Somewhere. They're two twins. Oh, the 70-year-old twins just retired. They're seven years old. I've got some info on them here. You've got some intel? Somewhere. They're two twins. Oh, the 70-year-old twins. Yeah. The family just retired.

They just retired. Where is it? Here it is. No. Yeah, here it is. This February, Amsterdam raised the minimum age for prostitutes from 18 to 21 for Louise and Martineock and so that's your last name fuck ins f-o-k-k-e-n-s that's a great name for a couple of hawkers Louise and Martin fuck ins bubbles you're gonna try one of these fucking things just take a little nibble off you're gonna shit

yourself what is it man I don't know. But it's fucking delicious. Listen to this, boys. Okay. Louise and Martine Fuckins. The Fuckins twins. It's the maximum age that's cause for concern. The 70-year-old twins are believed to be Amsterdam's oldest prostitutes. The Sun reports, after more than 50 years on the job,

and approximately 355,000 men between them. Holy shit. Shut up. They've decided to retire. Oh, my God. They're putting in a serious shift. 300. They're putting the fuck in there. Putting their box.

Getting it bronzed and putting it up on the mantel. Retiring it. That'll be like two or three a day at least. You know what? We should try to go talk to them. No, Ricky. Do the math. I did.

335,000. How many years 50 years they're doing oh let's do the math 355 000 divided by 50 years you need to calculate the door divided by 50 years and then carry the three they got to be banging at least 25 people a day, seven days a week for 50 years. That's a lot. That's not even possible. That's a lot of banging. That's a lot. They did it, man.

How would their plumbing hold up? Like, that's, think about that. It's probably pretty fucked up. It's probably pretty weather-beaten. Probably pretty weather-beaten and pretty jackhammered. My buzz on keeps getting a little higher. Oh shit, because it's these things. It's fucking just so tasty.

Delicious, man. I can't stop eating. Does this coffee have weed in it too? Oh yeah. No, that's actually hash. Great. I didn't know that. I thought it was just a snack.

It's not that big of a deal. Now we don't have to eat lunch, at least. Well, you kind of do. Holy fuck. What's next, bubs? What else do we want to talk about here, guys? Well, there's just some... Oh yeah, there's a cat museum here.

It's called Cat and Cabinet. We have to go. We're not going to the fucking cat museum. Oh, we most definitely are going to the fucking cat museum. We're going to the cat museum. You can go in your own time. Oh, we most definitely are going to the fucking cat museum. For what? What is it? How is there a museum about cats? What would be in there?

I don't know. Stuffed cats? That's why we're going. No, there won't be stuffed cats. Famous cats? Were the cats invented here or something? Like, I don't even get it. It's just probably, it's interesting.

Kitties. People love kitties. We're going there. I just don't even know how that could be a museum. We're going there. I don't even know how that could be a museum. We're going there later today. Bubbles, what are these sheets you printed?

There's some really fucked up things on here. Don't go breaking my shrimp. Bothan or bothan or whatever the fuck. B-O-F-F-I-N. Name is crustacean after Elton John's appendage. Which appendage? It's cock. That's what he's probably talking about.

I think. Yeah, they found this new type of shrimp that's got this big wang on it. And the scientist who discovered it, he always listened to Elton John and his love. Okay. So he named the official scientific name of the crustacean.

Uh-huh. What is it? It's right here. It's called Leucotho eltoni. See you just printed these fucked up stories out because you knew I was gonna be baked into my goddamn mind. Yeah look so that's an Elton John crab with a big wang. Elton John shrimp, I mean. That is the most fucked up, man. Probably heard in a while. It's real, too. It's fucking dumb.

That actually happened. Yeah, let's go invent a new shrimp, and we'll name it after Elton John's wang. All right. I'm too big to get into reading all this shit. It'd be cool if you had a shrimp named after your wang, though. Why would that be cool? You don't think it would cool if you had a shrimp named after your wang, though. Why would that be cool? You don't think it would be cool

to have a shrimp named after your wang with a real scientific name? Oh, man. Luke Otho Giuliano? Buzz is fucked. Let's move on to something else, man. Let's move on to something else. Maybe I don't want to move on to something else.

Oh, you want to keep talking about shrimp's wangs and Elton John's wang and wang, wang, wang? Wingy wang. Oh, you want to keep talking about shrimp swings and Elton John's wing and wing, wing, wing. Winging wing. Look how nice it is out here. It's beautiful. Sitting in Amsterdam here right out of her. Right out of her. What else?

Oh, my God. See, you printed these stories on purpose. An Oklahoma man was sentenced late on Thursday to 30 years in prison for asphyxiating his stepfather. Asphyxiated? His stepfather with an atomic wedgie? Yeah, he killed his stepfather with an atomic wedgie. Atomic wedgie, I believe, is when you get the wedgie, you know, and you get the underwear up over the person's head. What?

That's, I believe, atomic. How's that possible? I can't remember. Atomic's either you get the underwear band up over the head or you get them off the ground for three seconds. That's a hover wedgie. I've heard of that. It's a hover wedgie.

Yeah, I know. So atomic must be underwear up over the head. He killed him. He fucking killed him, yeah. Yep. First-degree manslaughter. He actually pled guilty. He choked him. Ch. First degree manslaughter. He actually pled guilty. He choked him.

Choked him with his underwear. Remember, you almost... You almost put a guy in the hospital with a wedgie, remember? That was a hover wedgie. That's just because his balls went up inside of him. They couldn't get them back down. He was trying to jump up and down to get them out. I build a little hash snowman, bubs. side of them, they couldn't get them back down. He's trying to jump up and down to get them out.

I built a little hash snowman, bubs. Oh, neat. It's not nice. Little hash snowman. Why would you build a snowman in Amsterdam, Ricky? The sun's beating down on us. Why wouldn't you build a little hash sun? Well, I just feel like I'm in Disneyland world over here,

and it's like Christmas that I would have got this trip, and snowman, Christmas, and... Bicycle. I was gonna build a reindeer, but that would have been way too fucking hard right now. Let's put him right there. Make a little clog. All right.

There, he can be the... He can be the guardian of the clog. Look, what's his name? Uh, Super Fucked. Because that's how I feel right now. Super Fucked. This is Super Fucked, guardian of my clog. Look, what's his name? Super fucked. Because that's how I feel right now. This is super fucked. Guardian of my clog. Alright, what else did you type up to freak me the fuck out? Okay, see, you did this on purpose.

It's making me fucked up. You're ruining my buzz on. In fact, I think I need to get a little bit hard. Level over here. What about this guy that's leaving? Yeah, just look at that. Police investigate after a cloaked figure leaves raw meat near NC Playground. Yeah, there's reports of this guy wearing a cloak,

and he's going into parks and different places, and he's leaving big hunts of red meat around. And people are freaked out by that? What do you figure he's doing? Maybe it's Jesus. He came back and he's leaving food for people that need it. Hey, Bucks, that's definitely a chick. See the hair?

Maybe, maybe not. Nice investigation, boys. He's supposed to come back. That's what my dad always said. Yeah, but why would he come back? Why would he do that? Because he'd be like a rock star. People would be like, Hey, can I get your autograph?

He'd probably just try to stay under the radar. Jesus is wearing a cloak just to disguise himself. Because he's a rock star. If I saw Jesus go down the street, I'd be like, Hey, bud, we gotta have a little chat here. That's all you'd say if you saw a Jesus floating down the street. People would have him. They would fucking drive him crazy, I bet,

and that's why he hides out. He probably has been back for years. Boys. You think he's been around for years? What kind of meat is it? Is it good, healthy meat? I don't fucking know, man. Is it like beef jerky? Is it turkey? It's meat.

It's raw meat, man. Red meat, it says. Well, if it's red, then it's not gone bad, so it's probably someone doing a good deed. Why don't you go fucking check it out? So that one didn't freak me out at all. Nice try, Bucks. That's some meat, Ricky. Nice try. I can't believe you're smoking more of that. That's the really powerful stuff.

I don't even care anymore, man. I'm giving in. How come you only bought one clog? You're just gonna wear one clog and one normal shit? No, I got the other clog. I just brought one clog to demonstrate. Okay. You know. Are they comfortable? I find them quite comfortable.

Really? I thought they'd be just flat and, you know, shitty. They can't be comfortable, Pubs. They do. They have, like, arch support and they're curved on the inside. Curvy or what. Boys don't, just don't wear them around, okay? You ever think about how they make them? Or do they just find them like that in the woods? Is there a certain tree that grows like that?

Just think about what you're saying there, man. They definitely don't find these in the woods. Well, they're made of wood. You think there's a clog tree? I don't fucking know, man. That fucking grows these and they just harvest them, cut them out, kick them like apples? That's fucked. Well, things are a little bit different over here, right? You never know. Well, they might have to do a bit of just harvest them, cut them out, kick them like apples. That's fucked.

Well, things are a little bit different over here, alright? You never know. Well, they might have to do a bit of work to them or maybe it's like an extra soft wood that they just scoop out with their hand, like it's got, like a fruit. It's a fruity wood. No, man, it's not a fruity wood. A fruity wood. Like take a melon baller, you mean, and just scoop it out?

But then why would the shell be hard? Well, I don't know. It's like a nut then. That's fucked. It's like a nut. I gotta put this out. Put this out, please. It's like a nut that you scoop out. Like a chipper. Chipper can't keep it together over there. He's higher than all of us. He's as high as fuck. He's in paradise here. Chipper, how you doing?

Great out of her? Very high. There's a. He's in paradise here. Chipper, how you doing? Great out of her? Very high. There's a street not too far from here where Chipper's been spending a lot of time. Not sure what that's all about. All right, I've got a question for you guys. Apparently a lot of guys like to hang out there.

Does it seem like we've been doing this for about 17 hours? 10 minutes. Shut up. It's only been 10 minutes? 20 minutes. I'm just fucking with you. 10 minutes. See, I believe the 10. All right, I shouldn't have put that in. No, I thought it was in, 20 minutes. I'm just fucking with you. Ten. Twenty. I believe the ten. All right, I shouldn't have put that in.

No, I thought it was in around 20 minutes. Bullshit. You think you know everything, Bubbles. Yeah, man. I do. What else you got for us? Anything else you want to freak us out with now that we're even? Well, there's more.

Yeah, thanks, Ricky. There's Lucy Liu, the dog mayor of Rabbit Hash, Kentucky. Okay, that's too much. We already talked about Lucy Liu, though, didn't we? Did we? No, we didn't. I thought we talked about Lucy Liu like two podcasts ago. This is not the real Lucy Liu.

This isn't Lucy Liu, the actress. It's a dog, man. I know it's the fucking dog. Oh, we did talk about her, didn't we? The president of the United States. Okay, you didn't mention that fucking person. It sounds like you, Ricky. We talked about that? Yes, we did, man. I'm telling you telling you know what? Maybe we should stop getting so fucked up for podcast boys

Why I'm probably pissing people off No, why would we be pissed off because we're sounding like we're not as smart as we might be No, maybe Not as smart as you might be. I'm surprised you didn't talk about this, John and Yoko's week-long bed in at... Yes, I'm going there too. Amsterdam Helping, I'm going there and renting the room. What are you going to do in there? I'm just going to hang out in the bed.

Is that why you borrowed all those pictures of Yoko? I'm going to do the Amsterdam Helping, lying in our bed for a week. That's why you brought the full-size poster of Yoko. Gonna recreate some action in there, eh? I didn't bring a full-size poster of Yoko. Well, I thought I saw one in your bag. Did you bring a full-size poster of Yoko? Seriously, bud. No, I didn't. Where the fuck would I get a full-size poster of Yoko?

You probably brought a printer that prints out full-size posters. I didn't do that. You know what, Bubbles? You said you were going to be all prepared for this because you knew I was going to be too big. Yeah, man, this was way too much shit. You got to, like, break stuff. Other than Elton John's cock shrimp and... No, I just...

I don't know, man. Most of these pages are blank. I've just been enjoying myself here. You guys don't know half the things I've done since I've been here. Because I've been getting up early. I went swimming in the canal today. You didn't go swimming in that fucking thing.

I did swim. We should get really big to take out one of those swan boats. Holy fuck. What? Don't they have swan boats here? The ones you pedal, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle? Swan boat? Well, you know, just one of those boats that you get going with your feet. But why is it a swan boat, Ricky? Well, you know I like swans.

And if they have those, I'd prefer to get one of those. What was your thing with swans, man? I don't know. Every time we go somewhere, you want to go fucking see the swans. They're glorious, glorious birds. But why? What makes them glorious? I think it's their necks.

When you're really big, they can do all these weird things with their neck. Didn't you wish you had a neck like that when you were young? No, man. I've never thought about having a fucking neck like a swan. Are you kidding me? You are fucked.

What are you talking about? I think the muffins are kicking in, boys. Great. And the cookies. And the cookies. And everything else. I think I'm too far off to continue. No, you're not.

What are you talking about? We're just having a great time. Ricky. You want to die. Okay. We're just having a great time. Ricky. You wanted to have a neck like a swan when you were younger? Why would you want a neck like a swan, Ricky? So you can see behind you. Ricky, stop it, please. You're killing me. Boys, I don't think I've ever been this high.

Oh, yes, you have, Ricky. I thought I had, but I can't make stuff like this. I've made a lot of stuff in my day, boys, but this, wow. These people know what they're doing. I need a lot more booze, guys. Like, soon. I need to eat, and I can't eat anything else with weed in it. Yeah?

Should we finish that joint? I want to keep talking about the swans. No. Okay. I just assumed that when you see a swan, how fucking cool they are. They're a big bird with a long neck, kind of like a giraffe, and they can turn around and look behind them. Like a what? A giraffe. A giraffe. What's a giraffe? The fucking horses with the long

necks. It's a giraffe, Ricky, and it's not a horse with long necks. They're way bigger than horses, man. It's a giraffe. It's a totally different kind of animal. So because you like giraffes with the long neck, you want it to have a swan neck. We can't talk about this anymore, boys. Oh, I think we should get to the bottom of it.

Haven't we already? I don't know, have we? Yes, we have. I still don't understand why you wanted to have a swan neck. I just think it was cool that they can look behind them, look around. They can almost do a 360 with their necks. I know, but when you're saying you wanted a swan neck, did you want your neck to be like, you know, four or five feet long?

Well, just all of a sudden, there's something up here, and you're like, you can't see it. You're just like, hmm? Boys, we gotta stop talking about swans, please. No more. It's like a slinky neck that can turn right around. A slinky neck? Their neck's not like a slinky. It can expand and go back.

No, it can't. Ricky, they don't have a fucking accordion neck. All right, well, it looks like it when you're super big. They can definitely turn around completely, I think. What other animal necks do you like? That's my favorite. The swan and the drac. What necks do you like?

I'm not really into necks. I've never really thought about it. So have you ever looked at any kind of animal and said, fuck I wish I had that feature? Nothing. Oh, I wish I had bird wings. Yeah, me too actually. I've thought about that quite a bit. Boys, which would be cool. Why?

You guys are fucked. You wouldn't want to have bird wings? I know. So were you looking at a swan when you saw the wings? No, I was looking at an ostrich, who incidentally has a beautiful neck. But can't fly. No. Or did I get that wrong too?

No, they can't fly. That's craft and that's, I don't want those wings. I want flying wings. I wouldn't mind having eagle talons. Yeah, but then you'd be, no one would want to hang out with you because you'd fuck up sometimes and start slicing people up. If I had eagle talons... God, boys.

What animal have you looked at? Let me guess. A cat or something. A cat. Soft fur. No, man, no. I've never thought about being an animal. Ever, ever, man.

Not even once. You probably... I know what animal you want to be. What? A horse. No,'t want to be what a horse no he wants to do the race for he wants to be a shaved gorilla so he can just go to the gym go to the grill a gym I actually I would like to be a gorilla for maybe an hour that's it what would you do speak what would you do whatever I wanted, man. I'd be just checking, you know, walking into stores,

just grabbing shit, leaving. So you want to be a gorilla? You guys thought about Spock, and we've all thought about it at some point. Why? That's the first time. Being an animal, a part of an animal. No, I don't want to be an animal,

but I would like to have eagle talons and wings. I'd like to get in a fucking boat with paddle paddles at some point. Maybe a swan. We'll go on the paddle paddle boat. Maybe a fucking shaved gorilla paddle paddle boat. Why is everybody saying paddle twice? I don't know. It's just a paddle boat.

It's not a paddle paddle boat or a piddle paddle. Paddle paddle. It's not a piddle paddle. Well, there's piddles and pedals. Peddle paddle. It's not a piddle paddle. Well, there's piddles that, pedals, pedals that make the paddles. Or the, uh... Give a bit to later on. Oh, Jesus, thank you, Ron.

Fuck, Ron. I love this place. I love it here. Look at the crystals, the red here and that. What did he give us? There's some shoreline. Okay. Looks delicious and wonderful. There's some something Hilton. Serres Hilton, I think it says. And there's AG-13. He said that's the crazy shit. That's the nuclear stuff. Looks like it's gonna be an interesting

afternoon. Yeah. We'll go to the... On the piddle-paddle... We'll go to the kitty. Let's... So here's... Let's just do a quick recap. Okay. Before we wind her up here.

We're going to go for a swim in the canal. You are. You are. We're going to go piddle-paddling. I'm doing that. Yeah. It's baked. We're going to the cat museum.

Maybe. No, maybe. We're going to the fucking cat museum. We'll see. We'll see. We're going to go look at animals Maybe. No, maybe. We're going to the fucking cat museum. We'll see. We'll see. We're going to go look at animals and decide which ones we want to be. No, we're not doing that. We're doing that?

Aren't we? I don't know. That would be fun. We're not talking about animals and what we want to be. Well, it depends what we see. We might see something and then go, see? Okay. That's okay.

I need an eye shower. You have to what? An eye shower because now my eyes are all dry. An eye shower? Well, I had tears from a bit of laughing. What's an eye? How do you do an eye shower, Ricky? Just hold the shower over your eye.

It's just called a shower, Ricky. You don't have to call it an eye shower. I don't need to wash anything else, though, just tears. It's all sticky. If you're going to do a shower, fucking do the whole thing, man. All right, what else is on the list besides what? When you take an eye shower, do you get all your, get your reg off, or do you just get in with your clothes on? Not if I'm just having an eye shower.

I don't have them that often when I do, yeah. Just get the little handy, little handy shower, take that, just, you can be fully clothed. Another way to do it, which is real easy. What? Just piss into the wind. Yeah, I guess. But then you're covered in your own piss. All right, let's wrap this up, boys.

Let's go get some shit done, man. Are you sure we're wrapping it up? Yes, I need a drink. Bad. You've been here all fucking day. I'm stealing the bike. All right. No, you're not stealing a fucking bike.

They're never going to know it's Bob's. They're everywhere. I know, but every one of them is owned by somebody, so the person that owns it's going to know it. There's so many bikes, I think they just grab one, he takes it, and they bring it back. It's like a borrow system.

I need a drink, seriously. I'm starting to freak out here a little bit. Okay, are we wrapping it up? I think we should probably wrap it up. We should. We might be too fucked to even be doing this, are we wrapping it up? I think we should probably wrap it up. We should. We might be too fucked to even be doing this, so we should. What was that thing that you told me, Ricky? Whatever you do, remind me to do blank after we're super fucked during the podcast.

Ricky, I don't remember. I don't remember either. Remember to do what? Remember to do blank? Remember to do blank. Remember to do... Let's just sign off and we'll remember it after, maybe. Okay, so this has been podcast number nine. Brought to you by...

That's what it was. That was it. That was the thing. We got so fucked up, we forgot to mention the sponsor. Good job, bubs. Good job, buddy. brought brought to you by Weckerle in the Alma combo yeah but we're set bars like right here he was here I take Elmo as a combo right now I could starving what do you mean? It's not Elmo Combo. You mean you take Elmo like in a combo with fries and a drink? Yeah, supersize. No, Ricky, it's the Elmo Combo. It's the bar. Chicken sauce.

No, remember it's the bar in Toronto? Yeah, no, no, I know. Remember Wackily bought it and he's redoing it and making it awesome? I just didn't know how he spelled it. We should bring him over here. Oh, shit. Oh, my God, he would love it over here. Bring Wack't know how he spelled it. We should bring him over here. Oh, shit. Oh, my God.

He would love it over here. Bring Weckley here, and he could pay for the drinks. I bet he'd pay for them. We should get him on a podcast and bring him over here. Do another one for Amsterdam. He'd pay for all the drinks, and I bet you he'd buy you a bunch of ass too, Ricky. It's been my favorite podcast so far. Actually, not my favorite. Yeah, maybe.

Yeah, perfect. I can't remember. All right. Podcast number nine. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, I can't remember. All right. Podcast number nine. Is he on the can? Is he really number nine? Yes. Just stop talking and look at the can.

Which can?