Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 90 - Beer!

Episode Date: May 1, 2017

The Boys are still pretty banged up after their trip to Toronto to promote Freedom 35. They chat about Shrek (both the monster and the sheep), Sydney (both Nova Scotia and Australia), and their DECENT new mobile game - GREA$Y MONEY! Episode 90 is brought to you by the Official Trailer Park Boys Store and Freedom 35 lager!  

. And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three. . Stand up, very nice man. That was good. April 28th, 2017. We didn't really start. That's not how we started. Just wait, boys. I would like to do a ceremonial...

Open that fucking thing first, buddy. Yeah! Ceremonial cracking. Our fucking beer is officially out across the country. We got fucking wasted in Toronto last night. Good times. Freedom 35 is out in stores, and I am right on the liquor.

Thanks to everybody that came out. It was a fucking messy one, but it was an awesome one. And people seem to be fucking loving the beer, so that's great. Which is fucking awesome. That one's warm as piss. Warm as piss, but do I give a fuck? I don't know, do you? Nope.

It's good, it's free liquor, and it's good liquor. It's free and it's tasty. Well, it's free for us. Are you gonna do your fucking stupid little... Yeah, what's going on, fuckers? This is the official Triller Print Boys podcast. It's coming at you right now.

What number? Number 89. Well done. Thank you. And the word of the day for this podcast is beer. Okay, get that in your heads. Beer. Any time you guys say the word beer.

Hit that. 3 to 35. Beer. I didn't even hit it. Number 89. See, we've got gotta keep doing this. It's like the subliminal kind of thing. People hear that, we'll set up some little bells and shit

in liquor stores, they hear that, they wanna buy beer. Pavlov's dog, it's called. That's right. Freedom 35. Beer. Beer. What about this one? Every time you hear a doorbell now, you're going to think beer. Fuck, I've got to have a beer.

Someone's here. Go right to the store. Buy some of this. You should, Ricky, you could do some Ravine stuff to people. Get them hypnotized because you're so much like Ravine. What the fuck does that supposed to mean? You kind of look like him a bit. I've just heard people say it.

Yeah? So have I. And it fucking drives me nuts. But Ravine was a cool guy, man. What are you talking about? He wasn't as cool as me. Insects for 100. Insects of the order Abitabitaria aren't spiders, but they still spin these. Webs.

Webs. What is a web? What is a web? You didn't answer the question. Oh, fuck. You can't do that, man. I'm too fucked up for a playing game. And I won. I didn't either, but we just started, and Ricky won.

All right. Moving on. Ricky's smarter than Julia. Oh, yeah! He can handle buzz-ons like this better than I can. Got to wait till the end of the show to do it. How high are you guys? Didn't you say that the loser had to stick this somewhere? Yeah. Loser has to fire that.

You got to somehow get that in your body. You can eat it, or you can shove it up. I'm not putting that fucking salt shaker in my mouth. Whoa, where are you gonna put that? There's only one other option, bud. Where are you gonna put it? Get that fucking thing away from me, man. Where are you gonna put her?

At least it's shaped like it might go in. I can't. Oh, it's suckling. That's not going in, man. Oh, it's stuck with the old jagged. That's not going anywhere. Well, yeah, it's not jagged, but she's got quite a... It's going to be quite a procedure. You're still talking about putting that thing up your arse?

I never was. You were, man. No, I wasn't. You were the one that said you were going to drive it in there. All right, let's get on track. How high are you guys on a scale of one to ten? Beer. I'm hoping it's gonna fucking beer.

Creep in, like get another wave, because I'm only like a fucking four or five. Four or five. Last night I was a ten. Right now I'm a strong nine. Like, big time. So your waves aren't coinciding. How'd we get home last night?

Private jet. What? The private jet, remember? I was flying the fucking thing. They let me hit the wheel. Don't remember that. Buss, no, man. That's one bad thing about the beer.

It's easy to get memory loss. We weren't, I know you, we weren't. Sometimes that's a good thing. No, man. How did we get from Toronto? We were at Air Canada, man. At the back of the fucking bus. I was in the cockpit at some point.

You were wasted. He was worse. I was in the cockpit of something last night. Believe me. Maybe that was before we took off and it was just a simulator. No, the captain was standing at the door and you said, hey, man, how you doing? You started hitting on him and shit.

Next thing you know, you're up looking at the fucking controls in front of them. That's not true. Possibly doing things to the cat. That's not true. I do remember a very nice handsome feminine fellow that was nice enough to even serve me a drink in my condition, so that was a good flight attendant. Because you were calling

him gorgeous and beautiful all night. Hey, gorgeous. Well, you know what? Male or female, it's a good thing to say to a flight attendant. How you doing, beautiful? Male or female, you're gonna get fucking good service. Who doesn't like to be called beautiful or gorgeous? Shrek. Shrek.

Well, maybe he would like... You talking about your friend that's nicknamed Shrek or the real Shrek? No, I'm talking about Shrek the monster. Again, are you talking about the cartoon or your friend? Mm-hmm. The cartoon, Ricky. He'd probably like to be called Beautiful. Gorgeous, maybe not,

because he's not that good-looking of a fucking creature. Beautiful, he could be a beautiful fucking creature. I bet if he was a fucking flight attendant, you got on there and said, how you doing, gorgeous? You'd fucking get good service even from Shrek. Ricky, if you walked onto a fucking plane and Shrek was the flight attendant,

do you think you'd actually keep going onto the plane? Yeah, I'd just probably think of my mushrooms and fucking ride it. Or some new drug I've never found before. Ride Shrek. No, just ride out the buzz on. And call Shrek beautiful and gorgeous, get free liquor, and then try to get him back in the galley, get your fingers in him.

If the person's bigger than me, I probably may not do that, because then they could fucking get offended or something, and fucking freak out. Well, Shrek is huge, man. He's like a fucking giant. Isn't he? I don't know. There's no reference. There's no reference point. Shrek could be this big, for all you know.

The whole kingdom could be miniature. Nobody knows. Well, there's this big, for all you know. The whole kingdom could be miniature. Nobody knows. Well, there's the princesses and shit like that. They're like normal. I got ogres. Ogres are big with the big hump on their back, aren't they? But how do you know? They could be this big. Shrek could be that big.

That could be Shrek's house right there. For all you know. Pops, you're getting too deep into this. I'm just saying. I wish Shrek was a flight attendant. I think he'd be fantastic. I wish I was a little bit higher. Well, get higher then, Ricky.

Beer. Now take a drink, Rick. We should do a commercial. What would be the commercial for this? We should do a commercial. What would be the commercial for this? We should do a commercial right now. Well, if it's Freedom 35, that's the dream. Freedom 35, drink the dream. Motherfuckers.

Drink the dream? Yeah. Drink the dream. Drink the dream. I think it's great that our beer came out for Ke's fucking hundred hundred and fiftieth birthday. It's good timing 150 this year it's gonna be fucking quite a Canada Day, isn't it? 150th anniversary is called I believe it's called the Sam squam senil Sam squints. No, it's not. Sam Squintz Seniel. Something like that. I don't think so.

No, man, it's not the Sam Squintz Seniel, whatever the fuck he said there. That's not it. Well? Sen fentanyl? Beer? Fentanyl, that's what killed Prince. That's what he was banged up on?

Mm-hmm. That sucks, man. Poor bastard. They're saying it's a bit of a fucking epidemic. Yes, fentanyl. What do you do with it? You blow it up your nose or needles? I don't know.

I think it comes in pill forms. I just ran out west there, a whole bunch of people. OD'd at a party doing, you know, they thought they were doing some blowsy-wosey. Fentanyl, fuck them, fuck. Don't do drugs, people. Well, just stick to smoking weed. Yeah, don't fucking say don't do drugs.

Well, I mean, don't do unidentified drugs. Don't do dumb drugs. Don't be snorting pills and shit up your nose. Don't do drugs that can fucking kill you. Or do them in small quantities. But what if somebody dips some weed and some fentanyl? Then what happens? I don't know if that's even possible.

Why would you do that? Because people do it to fuck with people, Ricky. There's arseholes in the world that get a kick out of fucking people up. That's why I like to grow my own. I know what the fuck's on it or in it or what it's about. Yeah. All right, just smoke weed, everybody. Did anything fucking good happen on this day?

I can't remember. This is a... Oh, this was the day Julian tore his bicep. Back in... No, it isn't, man. 98. Remember the big kerfuffle? Puffs. Yeah, for a year, one was way bigger than the other. Yeah.

Remember that, Julian? That was 1828, 1998. That's not fucking true. Now it isn't, man. Julian tore his bicep. This never happened. Huge deal. Oh, fuck, this was the day when the roof ripped off that fucking plane in Hawaii.

That would have sucked. Yes, I remember that. Yeah, they made a movie about that, didn't they? What year? 88. Somebody got sucked out. Yeah. The that. Yeah, they made a movie about that, didn't they? 88. Somebody got sucked out. Yeah. The Stortus, the poor Stortus. Fuck, what a weird ride that would be.

Yeah, terrible. Yeah, that would be it. Crash into Earth, no parachute. Well, she, I'm pretty sure she'd be unconscious, Ricky, just from the force of the... I doubt it. No, I'm pretty sure... I'd say she was awake for the whole doubt it. No, I'm pretty sure. I'd say she was awake for the whole fucking ride.

Well, there was a movie about it, and she was fucking thrown out of it or sucked out, and then she was like, There is ways she probably could have survived it, but it wouldn't have been easy. No. How? I've just heard of ways to do it. If you fucking angle your body the right way,

you can kind of just come in Just do a smooth little landing on water Ricky like a flying squirrel. Yeah, you just extend everything out and just like Superman it and just get the angle, right? There's no fucking way that would happen Ricky. You're still gonna hit the water three four hundred miles an hour. I Know but if you hit it the right angle, you're gonna... You're gonna wreck your face right off. You'd probably have road rash. You know you'd be fucked, Rick.

Do you think if you fell out of... Beer! You think if you fell out of a plane with no parachute, you could just... If you knew what you were doing and you knew the laws of... science... there's ways it could be done, I think. I've heard of fucking people that fell in a sky with their parachutes, fucked them over, and they survived.

Yeah, those are very, very rare one in a billion fucking chances where they hit a roof or whatever, and the angle of the roof absorbed the energy and shot them that way, and they rolled, and that has happened. There's one guy who fucking hit the ground, straight on and bounced about 100 feet alive.

Yeah, I met somebody that actually jumped, went into a marsh alive. There you go. So you aim for a marsh. It's just like fucking landing on foam. It's kind of hard to fucking maneuver yourself to fucking hit a marsh, man. You'd be looking around like, no, man. Oh, fuck, where's the marsh?

I better turn into a fucking squirrel here, get the right Superman angle to fucking hit a marsh, man. You'd be looking around like, no, man. Oh, fuck, where's the marsh? I better turn into a fucking squirrel here, get the right Superman angle, and skip myself across that water like a stone. Or do you just say, fuck it, I'm probably gonna die and look for something hard, like a road. Mm-hmm. It doesn't matter, man.

Just do a pipe, a straight down. Head first, yeah, Get your speed up. It's going to be over and fucking instantly. Go into a talk and just aim for a road. I wonder if you'd feel it at all or if it just would kill you instantly. Instantly, Ricky. Perfect. You wouldn't feel fuck all hitting the road at 300, 400 miles an hour.

Perfect. It's over like that. Anyway, I guess we shouldn't be talking about it. It's a fucking poor person that fucking died. That sucks. Poor lady. And you know what's the bad thing? Somershole got on the plane, and he saw the crack in the roof,

and he was too nervous to tell anybody. So if he had have said, hey, anybody notice a big crack in the fucking roof? Well, he's got to live with that. Yeah, it's just... Fucking dummy. I get on a fucking plane, I see any type of cracks, I don't give two fucks.

I'll go up and knock on the cockpit door. Hey, boys. Did you notice there's a fucking bolt missing? Yeah. There's some rivets missing out of my window. Every time we go on a fucking plane, it's the same thing. You're checking out everything, man. Because I know, because I watch Mayday.

I know you do. That was fucking weird when we were on the plane, WestJet, and fucking Mayday's on TLC on the screen on your seat. I love watching Mayday on the WestJet plane. While you're on a plane? Yes. It's not me, man. It makes me fucking nervous.

It makes me need to have more drinks. I quite enjoy watching Mayday while I'm in the air. Because then if the same thing happens at that moment, I'll just keep watching and I'll know what to do. I'll go up knocking the cockpit. I think it's rudder reversal. I think it's rudder reversal. Oh, man, this is fucking weird.

You were talking about Shrek, how you wanted to bang him, and that something happened with Shrek here in 2004. Oh, no, that's... Oh, Shrek the sheep, yeah. Yes, I remember that. Shrek the sheep. He finally shorn on live TV after six years of avoidance. So he didn't shorn for six years? Do you know what shorn is?

What are you talking about? I'm assuming it's like shirt. No, Ricky, he's... no. There's a sheep in New Zealand. Okay, it's a sheep. And it's this type of sheep that grow up... And his name is Sheik? Shrek.

Shrek. Sheik. Oh, I thought you fucked it up. No, his name's Shrek. The Shrek, the Sheik. Sheik, there's Sheik. He's a Sheik from Dubai, and his name's Shrek, and he's very hairy. And they usually shave the son of a bitch down once a year.

But he got on a big bender on all his rich Dubai money, and he went and hid in a cave for six years. No, it's an actual sheep. How do they know the sheep didn't shit for six years? They're not saying he didn't shit Ricky Sean means they didn't shave his fucking wall off when they just say fucking shave then yeah cuz Sean it's the proper term Sean I'm gonna show him this morning hmm like fuck off, that's a bit fucked. It's not. I shaved the fucking sheep. It's just horn with an S. It's dumb.

Okay, so they didn't shave them. For six fucking years, why? Listen, I'll tell the fucking story. Normally they shave the cocksuckers once a year. This sheep escaped, and he was hiding in caves and shit. They were tracking him, trying to get him. They finally caught him after six years. And the cocksucker was about this big around.

Wow. He had 60 pounds of fucking wool on him. 60 pounds? 60 extra pounds of hair. How many sweaters did you make out of 60 pounds? There was enough to make 12 large suits for men from one sheep. That's crazy. I think we should buy some fucking sheeps. to make 12 large suits for men from one sheep. That's crazy. I think we should buy some fucking sheeps

and fucking let them grow their hair long. Why, Ricky? Just because it would look cool. Must look like a great big, I don't know, like a different animal. Well, there's, here, is there a picture of him? I don't know. Oh my fuck, look at that. It's awesome.

There's the cocksucker right there. Fuck, I wouldn't even get around. That's why I got caught. He's like, holy fuck, maybe I should get short. Because I can barely move now. Well, I think what was happening when they were chasing him, he would just roll down the hill, and he'd get going way too fast to get caught. See, they should have a fucking...

Look at him, Julian. Look at him. Holy fuck. Looks very soft and cuddly. Looks like your mama. Bubbles' mother. That does not look like my mother. It does, man. That's a nice thing to say now. She's nice and fluffy and cuddly. I smell McDonald's french fries.

That means you're having a stroke. No, Ricky, that's if you smell burnt toast, you're having epileptic seizures. Just smell them chips, man. Here. Is it? Yeah. Is that what it was, man? Yeah, it is, actually.

Those smell like McDonald's french fries. Fuck, that's a good flavor. It's the grease. They should have that flavor. I'd buy the shit out of those. What? McDonald's fucking chips. Same grease. Not supposed to be eaten on the podcast.

People get angry. Oh, yeah? Not the crunchy people. So what, are you just supposed to starve to fucking death? I don't know, Rick. Oh, you mean eat something less crunchy. Let's try to do that one of these days. Well, you know what I made last night, boys?

What? I roasted some chickpeas. What does that mean? You know what chickpeas are? Nope. Well, they're these little... I don't know what they are either, actually. Chicken peas?

No, not chicken peas. They're called chickpeas. They're about that big around. And they're just like a squishy, nice little bean type of thing. I put some in a pot. So it's like a bean, but it's called a pea. And it's like a chick, which means it's a baby chicken.

Great. Great name. But people are dumb. Oh, Rick, I don't know where they come from. But they're just these little round peas, beans kind of things. And I put them on a thing, like a frying pan. And I sprinkle some Italian seasoning on them with a little bit of olive oil. And I just roasted them.

You've got to taste these fucking things. That sounds disgusting, man. It might be good. Oh, I'm telling you. What do they taste like? Chickpea beans. They taste like Italian chickpea beans. That's the recipe, if anybody wants to try them.

I know what a chickpea is. They make that spready shit out of that, right? Yes. I've had that and I don't mind it on those little pretzel things when you're- I believe it's called hummus. Yes, and those little pretzel things when you're... I believe it's called hummus. Yes. And those little pretzel crackers you had that time and we were wasting...

That was made out of chickpeas, mushed up chickpeas. All right, well, maybe I'll try it. But I took the whole chickpea because there was a can of them that somebody left outside the... left outside. I may or may not have stolen it. And I opened it and I was, and I had nothing to eat, so I threw them in a thing, and I just put some sprinkles on there.

Sounds just like gross. Well, I'm going to make some next week. And you're going to eat them. I'll try them, man. They're fucking delicious. They're so good and dry, though. So good. Also an 88.

Wow. What? It was a fucking... The world record... The record was set for the most penalty minutes in a playoff game. Oh, I remember that. 349 fucking minutes. New Jersey against Washington.

Brendan Shanahan, right? Fuck. Yeah, he was one of them. Shanahan was in that melee, I remember. Yeah, Shanahan was fucking there. Kirk Muller. Oh, yeah, that was a fucking... That Verbeek.

Sean Burke. Nice. It's always good when a goalie gets in the mix. Nice. 97 minors, 11 majors, 9 misconducts and a match penalty. Yeah, that was a... Fucking awesome. What year was that? 88. 88. 88 New Jersey doubles.

I don't see much about anything else that's good. I'll tell you something that happened on this day. No, Saddam Hussein was born today. Great. Whoop-de-fuck. He was pretty famous. Yeah, he was famous, Ricky, for being an arsehole. For being a murderous dickweed.

Yeah, he was a little bit fucked. The day he died would be more interesting. We'll have a fucking big party that day. Those cocksuckers were crazy. Do you know what his son stood? Did you ever hear that one? I believe it's true. I heard it anyway.

When their soccer team lost the World Cup, a couple of the fellas that they said, you know, make sure you don't lose. Yeah. They cut the fucking skin off their feet. Just the skin? Off the bottoms of their feet.

Can you fucking imagine? That would hurt, but at least it grows back. Yeah, it'd be one horrible fucking time until you'd be able to walk again, man. Ricky, they cut the skin off the bottom of their feet. Like, cut it off. No skin. Well, it's better than off the bottom of their feet. Like, cut it off. No skin. Well, it's better than cutting a foot off or toes.

Yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong, it sucks and it's fucking twisted, but... I like, I do like that you always find the positive in things, Ricky. Yeah. Good going, bud. Good going, Mr. Positive Energy. I didn't realize I was so positive. I am a positive guy. Jesus Christ. All right, since the word of the day today is money, here's a good thing we should do for us. The word of the day wasn't money, it was beer.

Okay, it's money as well. Beer. Beer. All right, this company is selling the... Okay, this is fucking brilliant, I think. We could sell this, we could, like, start this today. Solar air conditioning. Let me guess, this has something to, I think. We could sell this. We could, like, start this today. Solar air conditioning. Let me guess.

This has something to do with a fuck doll or shit. No. No, man. It has nothing to do with... Bob's... Okay, listen to me. Every time you get excited... For about 7,000 years, people have been fucking cleaning their teeth with, like, a stick, like a branch.

That's how they do it. A branch. Clean away. Who has? Like, people, man. Like, over in India and shit. A fucking tooth branch? Well, you're in the jungle. You don't have a fucking man. Talking about a fucking tooth branch?

Well, you're in the jungle. You don't have a fucking toothbrush. You use a twig. You don't, you know, get in there, twig away. All right, there's a company doing this. Don't say you're going to invent the toothpick. It's five. No, no, it's a toothbrush.

It's five bucks for a twig. There's fucking selling tons of them. But this is the thing that's going to make us a lot more money. We get a bunch of twigs, we whittle them down, throw them in a barrel of fluoride, boom. A twig toothbrush with fluoride right in it. All right. Seven bucks.

Because last night we had that great idea. Have you lost your fucking mind? They're selling them, man. They're selling them for five bucks over in... What about our idea from last night about inventing solar air conditioning? It's a good one. We could make a lot of money. We just got to figure out how it would work.

Solar air conditioning. They already have it working. It's called like a solar panel hooked up to a fucking heat pump. Never thought of that. It's the same fucking thing. It's the same thing, Ricky. You just wire a fucking solar panel to a heat pump.

I think we were thinking for cars, though. That's what it was. So you come back to your car, and it's not fucking hot. I don't know how it would work, though. Well, again, Ricky, you just put a solar panel on the roof of your car, wire it into the fucking mini heat pump that I would build. I think every roof on a car should be a solar panel.

That would be a solar panel. That would be a good idea. That's probably a good idea, man. All right, we're rich. They were talking about turning the roads and parking lots, everything that's paved, making it out of solar panels. I heard that. It's a fucking great idea. They said something that would, like,

power the fucking world ten times over. Or something like that. If we had solar panels, could you hook them up? Oh, I can hook up a solar panel, please. Can you build them? Well, they're tricky to build, Ricky. I mean, they're cheaper to buy than they are to build. All right, so we buy them.

Or we could borrow some for a little while. I'm sure you could get solar panels if we needed them. Oh, man, they're all over the place. All right. Well, let's just quit everything and do that. What is it, like a... It's mounted and there's a couple wires and shit? Snip the wires?

There's a positive and a negative and a ground, basically. All right, that's easy. I can wire shit if I can get close up to it and see what I'm doing. Hmm. Then we could save the oil. What oil? Oil, oil that everyone burns for shit.

Waste. Yeah, oil's dirty. Fucking. So how many solar panels do you think we need to power the whole park? Well, I mean, if you want to power the park, why don't we get a windmill? Start fucking windmilling it. Windmills are good, except when it's not windy. Well, you can put it anywhere that there's wind, Ricky.

Put her out in high-run cables, extension cords to the park. We just dig a little trough. Put them under there. I could build a windmill, believe me. I tried to build one when I was astronaut training. I had a centrifuge that I almost spun myself to death in. We could use that, the gears of that. I put some big blades on her.

Speaking of big fuck-ups, this fucking guy really fucked up his team from Dutch. He was trying to go to Sydney, Australia. Oh. He ended up in Sydney, Nova Scotia. Because the plane ticket was $300 cheaper. He thought it was the same fucking place. What a fuck-up.

Jesus, Murphy. I'd much rather be in Sydney fucking Australia than Sydney, Nova Scotia right now. He looked, what? That's a, how did he not? He just fucking searched where the fuck he was from to Sydney for plane tickets. Yeah, but he didn't fucking. He thought there was only one?

He didn't notice that the flight was like a lot shorter and cheaper. Where did he fly from? From Dutch. From Denmark. Is that the Dutch? I thought Dutch was... No, Dutch is windmills. Holland?

Yeah. That's the Dutch. That's the Dutch. I think so. What are the... Oh, the Danes are from Denmark. Yeah. Dutch are from Holland.

Where are Dames from? The Danish. Danish? Danish. You've hadames from? The Danish. Danish? Danish. You've had a Danish before, Ricky. Yes. So he got on a plane in Holland, flew to Sydney, Nova Scotia, and didn't clue in?

He probably fucking did when he got off the plane and it was freezing and didn't look anything like Australia and people didn't talk like they were from Australia. But you know what? I bet you had a good fucking time in Sydney that night. Because he obviously would have said, fuck, I might as well get drunk tonight. Fucked.

I like Sydney. I love Sydney. Yeah, he was going across. He saw the flight map on the seat in front of him. It was going right instead of left. He said it was at that time he realized there was more than one Sidney. Wow, he really fucked up.

It was snow. There was snow here. They had a blizzard. He was dressed for summer. Bad times. Did anybody find out? Like, did he become popular? And, you know, maybe he went to smooth hermits and got banged.

Fuck. There's nothing good about it, nothing positive about this story? Most people that go to Sydney, that's what they do. They go to Smooth Herman's and get banged. Hopefully that's what he did. All right, boys, it's not the first time it's happened, though. I got a little surprise for you guys. Good. What is it? Guess what we're selling now. It's taking a lot of negotiating and shit

and fucking contracts. You're selling all kinds of shit, boys. What do you mean we're selling all kinds of shit? What shit is this now? A cartoon. Oh, this fucking video game that came out. It's the video game, man. I guess people are fucking digging that, too.

The game came out. The game came out last week. Yeah, now we're selling shirts. Nobody told me. How come I didn't know about the ball? You've been playing it. You've played the fucking game. When?

Oh, man, you're getting banged up lately. Oh, I like it. It's for you, man. A little weed socks. Weed socks. All right. Bubz, here's a nice little mug. I don't need a mug.

You've got a mug. Here, I'll take that. Bye. Thank you. I don't need a mug. You've got a mug. Here, I'll take that. Bye. Thank you. I don't need a mug. Check these out. I wish they could make socks that you could also use as gloves. What the fuck are the things?

Look at that. I think they're magnets or stickers or something. What are they? Double whammy? Or is it one set of candies, maybe? It's a joint. Oh, these are little stickers. Look. Look at that.

Oh, yeah. Little fuck yourself stickers. Telling people to fuck off. A little conscience here. T.P.B. Gain. Here's a fridge magnet. Who doesn't want that on their fridge? Probably most people.

Why not? Actually, that's pretty neat. That's pretty cool. I'm going to put one of that on their fridge? Probably most people. Why not? Actually, that's pretty neat. I'm gonna put one of those on my fridge. Anybody comes in my shed shooting off, I'm just gonna point at it. Exactly. Let's see if it works. Look at that. Nice little hoodies, boys. So who made this deal without asking me?

These guys, man. Eastside Games. East Side Games. Who's gonna lie to us? East Side Games. They make a game or something for little fridge magnets? Yeah, they make our game, the game that has us in it. Well, now they're making some shirts. Don't you think you should have consulted me?

What do you mean? Well, my picture's on it, just like yours is. I knew you'd be cool with this shit. Ah, fuck. They're not fire retardant. Why would they be, Ricky? They're magnets. Look at that.

Oh. Here, let me see if I can. Double whitties. That's a nice shit here, boys. So the game is called what? Trailer Park Boys Greasy Money. Greasy Money. Available where?

At the app store, at the game store, I suppose. I guess that would make sense. I'm gonna put this little sticker on my computer. Check this out. That'd be... All right. Very nice little touch. I can't put this little sticker on my computer. Check this out. That'd be... Very nice little touch, I can't do this. Well, maybe I should put a sticker on tomorrow. Do it, man.

See, if you just put some finger holes in here. See, can you imagine the fun you'll have with buying a sticker socks? Put stickers on everything. Ricky, if you had glove socks, though, what, how, like, you're wearing them on your feet and then you take them off and you put them on your hands and you got old foot jam on your fingers

and then you're touching your face. My feet are usually pretty clean. They're hot. Fucking liking these things. Ricky, your feet smell like fucking Doritos all the time. I love the smell of Doritos. Do you even, like, wash your feet when you shower? If you do shower?

World record set in Toronto for largest crowd dressed as Einstein. Wow! I'm so fucking impressed. What the fuck is wrong with those people? What's the world record for? Largest crowd dressed as Einstein. I don't even know what that means. Fuck, do I ever want to go hang out with those people? Why would you dress up like Einstein? It might be fun if you're really big, though.

Think about it. Why would it be? Hey, look at me, I'm Einstein. Oh, hey, Einstein. Haven't seen you since the fucking Einstein convention. All right, fuck it then. All right, that's it. We're done. Okay, boys.

Buy some of this shit. Man, there's a it. We're done. Okay, boys. Buy some of this shit. Man, there's a lot of weird shit here. Go to the website. So let's just recap here. Beer is in stores. Beer. Freedom 35 is in stores now.

Go get yourself one of those. While you're at the liquor store, you might as well get a bottle of Leckerman's old, dirty Canadian whiskey. Yeah. Go home, smoke some dope, get all fucked up with your beer and your liquor, download the Trailer Park Boys Greasy Money game at a fine app store near you for Android and Apple.

Throw on your fucking hoodie that you just purchased. Get out your sticker pack and start fucking stickering things up. And download the game. Buy a skateboard. Buy a fucking skateboard to skateboard to the liquor store on. Come back home all racked on a skateboard because you can't get in trouble for that.

That's pretty weird. Why? Scientists find the T-Rex was a sensitive lover. What? Yeah. Who would have thought? Big fucking bastard like that. The T-Rex was a sensitive lover. What? Yeah. Who would have thought? Big fucking bastard like that.

How do they know that, Ricky? That sounds fishy. This little thalidomide arms. That sounds fishy, Ricky. How do they know that? I can't read it. It's too small. Well, do you think I can read it? You read better than I do most times.

Despite its fearsome teeth and cumbersome body, the T. rex was a sensitive lover, according to a new study. How do they know that? There's not one around. The carnivorous dinosaur had a sensitive side, namely its nose, which was as sensitive as a human fingertips. In contrast with its nine-inch long teeth and 20- foot height, the dinosaur had a nose which yearned to be touched.

As well as using its tactile nose to investigate surroundings, that means sniffing other T-Rex's arses, build nests and carefully pick up fragile eggs, the T-Rex also enjoyed rubbing its sensitive nose against that of a mate.

How the fuck do they know that? They don't know that, Buzz. Did they find some footage of it? There's no way. They found an old VHS tape, Ricky, in the woods that shows it. This new has been aided by the discovery of a new member of the T family called the Daspalastosaurus hornary. The Daspalatosaurus hornary. Jesus. Alright, that's nice, Bob's. Let's just fucking end this.

Scientists now believe... Time to end it. Beer. Beer. Bob's? I don't know how they know it. I fucking knocked blind. I think it's just some scientist saying, I'm a scientist, so I'm fucking gonna write these words and you guys believe them, because I'm a scientist.

Fuck off. Sense of lover. Bullshit. Bullshit. Fuck. Nothing better to be science-y about than fucking pretending that you know how fucking sensitive a goddamn fucking dinosaur is how much less to rub his nose on other fucking dinosaurs and shit.

Ricky's gonna get all fired up here. Fucking scientist. Ricky, just calm down all fired up here. Fucking scientists. Ricky, just calm down. Let's go smoke a joint. Calm down. You know what? I'm a scientist from now on. Guess what?

A fucking prehistoric whale fucking loved to fuck a dolphin. Scientist, fuck off. See you next week, everybody. God damn it. Calm down. I need to get fucking drunk right now. Fucking, everybody. God damn it. Calm down. I need to get fucking drunk right now. Fucking scientists.

Let's do it. Fucking dinosaurs. Don't even fucking know they fucking even existed. Every now and then, something sets Ricky off. Today, it was dinosaurs.