Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 96 - From Worse to Badder

Episode Date: June 12, 2017

It’s a wet and wild podcash as the Boys are spilling drinks all over the place (and cleaning up the mess with bubble wrap). Ricky defends flat-earthers, and the Boys learn that Michael J Fox’s middle name is Andrew! Episode 96 is brought to you by the Official Trailer Park Boys Store and the Boys' own Freedom 35 lager, now available across British Columbia, Nova Scotia, Newfoundland, Manitoba, Ontario and Alberta!  

Where's the straight on camera? Oh, that's him there. Ricky cough into your arm. What? So the germs go into the arm crease. Look at that fucking beaut. Alright, tell me when we're ready. Do you want to do this?

In three, two... Oh, you want me to do it now, do you? Oh, what a fucker! No, you've been doing it. In three, two... Hey, what's going on, fucking... Hi there, welcome to the Trenton Park Boys podcast. Never again. Oh, fuck, that was a wicked fucking paper cocksucker.

Podcast number 96. 96. I'm your host, Bubbles. It is June the 9th, 2000. I'm here with my friends Ricky. That's me. And my acquaintance Julian. I'm just teasing you. Friends Ricky. That's me. And my acquaintance Julian. Is that right?

I'm just teasing you. I don't know what that means, but it's probably not good. Oh, my God, look. Oh, man. Fucking. Fucking. Like fucking going into concrete. It's big Dwayne Johnson.

Crankled the end of it. I bet you'd like to see his big Johnson. Shut the fuck up. All right, let's get this going. What's up, boys? Well, it's number 96, June the 9th, so get it the fuck going. That's what I just said. Let's get this going.

All right, so what do you have planned? I have nothing fucking planned. Fuck! At least nothing. I don't have much planned either. I'm already planning episode 100. Are you serious? Yeah. Oh yeah. Did you hit? Almost took out someone's eye. Nice. Uh, 100 is coming up. But this is 96.

This is, we still have, is this a big one? Do you remember 1996, Ricky? Nope. Oh, man. The 90s were good. That was a good time. What happened in the 90s? Ricky, you don't remember the 90s? Not a lot of them. Some music. Bit of TV. Who's that guy, that song you used to fucking sing all the time?

Rick Ashley? Is that his name? That wasn't the 90s, was it? That was the 90s. That was the late 80s. Was it the 80s? In the 90s, I think. Holy fuck. Rick Ashley? He was in the 90s, was it? That was the 90s. That was the late 80s. Was it the 80s? In the 90s, I think. Holy fuck.

Rick Astley? He was in the 80s, wasn't he? I think he was a legacy early 90s. What was the song again? He fucking drove me nuts. Who, me? Never want to give you up. Never want to give you up.

Never want to get you down. Never want to run around. I liked the really good dance move. That was a good one. Man, it makes me feel like dancing. Remember, Ricky, you used to... What was he like? Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever. He used to dance like that.

Remember the dance? Like, man. That was a good one. How did it go, Ricky? What were the words? Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever. Drove me nuts. I think there was more words to it, I believe. It was fucking catchy. Never and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever. Drove me nuts.

I think there was more words to it, I believe. It was fucking catchy. Forever and ever and ever with you. Oh, yeah, I forgot about the with you. Remember? I think that was maybe when you started doing your hair like that. With you. Yeah, he did kind of look like him.

He had the same, he had the down. I had the moves. I didn't have the look. You did have the moves. No, but that's the first time you started putting your hair like that? Choo! Yeah, he did kind of look like him. He had the same, he had the down. I had the moves, I didn't have the look. No, but that's the first time you started putting the hair up, I think. No, fuck. No? Maybe. Or maybe that was because of Andrew Dice Clay. The Dice Man.

When was Dice out? That was back in, what, the 80s? That was the 90s. 90s? I'm all fucked up, man. Ah, fuck off! Let's go, tragedy. Tragedy! When your mouth up, man. Ah, fuck off! Let's go. Tragedy. Tragedy!

When your mouth explodes... No. What is it? It was way off. Ah, I forget how that goes. Tragedy! When you wanna fuck and your zipper's stuck, it's tragedy! That's the ones we used to sing when we were a little member. We used to change the words. I don't know how to fucking do this.

And Sweet Caroline, that was another one. Used to change the words up a bit. Yeah. That was a good one. That's still fun to do. Set my car. But I've never seemed so good. Ricky, what are you... How are you going to clean... That's not absorbent at all.

No, it's not very good, is it? There's no absorbency in plastic. It actually repels liquids. For those of you who can't see and can only hear the podcast, Ricky is attempting to wipe up a spilled pile of juice with bubble wrap. And now a rubber glove. Ricky, it's rubber. It's rubber, Ricky.

There you go. Paper towel. Some smarty ass fucking threw this in. Knewing it would work. Knewing? Wow, man. Knewing it would work. What is it supposed to be?

Gnowing. You combine Gnu, the patch dense of Gnull, with Gnowing. Gnuing. Gnuing it would work. Okay Ricky it's clean. Okay what do we want to... Fuck! Okay, Ricky, it's clean. Okay, what do we want to... Oh, fuck! Ricky! This is going from worse to better. Worse to better?

Oh, man. Like fish batter? Beer-battered onion rings. Fuck. Okay, are we ready? Okay, let's start. We can cut all that out, maybe. Hi there! Welcome to, maybe. Hi there.

Welcome to the podcast. Number 96. I'm your host, Bubbles. Here with Ricky and Julian. Nothing happened yet? Nothing dumb was talked about or spilt? No. Boys, man.

Okay, let's get at it. Let's get at it. What's going on today, boys? I'm trying to find shit that's going on, it's there's not much going on. Well, I know a exciting day Purple purple people eater. What does that mean? It's number one purple people here. That's a Flying purple people. Oh man right on. Thank you to the wonderful people out there Oh, man, right on.

Thank you to the wonderful people out there. Wow, that's a super cup. Ricky Hale, thank you. Ooh. I'm a good one. Yeah, this is a pretty good one. I give it a seven. First on the cartoon, Wise Little Hen. Oh, Wise Little Hen came out, didn't it?

Yeah. That was a good one. Yeah. That was a good one. Yeah. That was a good one. Oh, fuck. Hire's Root Beer. Big day for Hire's Root Beer. So the first one back in 1869.

What does that mean? Root Beer. Hire's Root Beer. Charles Elmer Hire's. You never heard of him? Who? Charles Elmer Hire's. Hireres who?

Charles Elmer Hires. That's his last name. To work at the plant? No, he didn't hire anybody. Hires Root Beer Rookie. That's where the name comes from? Yes. Yes, his name is Hires.

Well, shouldn't it be like... I've got to see it. Look up the spelling on the can. It's not right. His name is Hires. Well, shouldn't it be like... I gotta see... Look up the spelling on the can. It's not right. It should be a... Apoc... Apoc-trophy. Actually, if there was a hyphen in his name,

he would be Charles Hi-Rez. He'd be Hi-Rez. He'd be in 4K. They should change the name. But it's Hi-Rez. Hi-Rez Root Beer. Yeah. Taste. Nice. Decent.

Nice going, buddy. Jesus Christ! What the fuck is wrong with you guys? For fuck's sakes! Oh, man. That was a bad one. Oh, my computer! Thank God it was repaired. The computer's fucked.

Do you want some bubble wrap? I'd power it down, man. Power down. Here, man. Here, this stuff works good for soaking shit up. Power down. Here, man. This stuff works good for soaking shit up. What a fucking horse, y'all. Rick, grab your bubble wrap, quick. Jesus, Murphy.

So what were we talking about? Oh, fuck you. Man, hire his root beer. Oh, she's soaked. So Bob, do you like hire his root beer? She's soaked, and she won't turn off. Oh, she's soaked! No problem. Do you like Hires root beer? She's soaked, and she won't turn off. Oh, she's bad, man. Gimme more!

Okay, man. Gimme more! All right. Load it on. We got her, we got her, man. You know what's best for that? It's not piss. That's what someone said. It's the worst thing you can spill on it, too.

Don't piss on it. Because it's sticky as old fuck. You need some rice. Fuck's sakes! Gimme some sweet and sour. Throw some popcorn on it. Because it's sticky as old fuck. You need some rice. Fuck sakes. Get me some sweet and sour. Throw some popcorn on it, man. Man, it stinks. That's not going to do nothing left.

It's jammed on the login screen. How come beer smells so strong? Oh, man, you fucked over my Merklers. You fucked a mess, boys. You got to get rid of this. Fuck. This is fucked. Oh, gosh, it's going to shit. Okay, we're back. Fuck. This is fucked up. Podcast is going to shit.

Okay, we're back. We're, nothing happened. We're starting right now. Nothing got spilt. Fuck, does it ever stink like beer in here now? Here, let me see if I can log in. I think you're okay, man. Yeah, you're okay.

You're a simple computer, waterproof. It's gonna get sticky in a little while. And then you're, there's nothing you can okay, man. Yeah, you're okay. You're a supercomputer. Water-proof. It's going to get sticky in a little while. And then you're... There's nothing you can do about it. Hey, I'm in. Check out the new Lexblock fucking waterproof laptop. Oh, just... No. It restells beer and...

There's beer right inside my number pad. Nice. That's going to get all sticky. Fuck's sakes. Mick West? Who the fuck is Mick West? Mick West. I got watching these people that believe the Earth is flat. Finally, there's fucking proof of it.

I've known, my fucking dad knew that years ago. Ricky, don't start on the earth is flat bullshit. It is. There's proof. No, there isn't, Ricky. There's no proof. I've found proof. There's no proof that the earth is flat.

To find proof, let's talk about what the word proof means. You know what proof is? Talk about what the word proof means. Do you know what proof is? It's like when you're right. Mm-hmm. No. No.

You're trying to get to that. Being right. Proof. You need proof. Well, I know what it means in liquor. Like, if you get an 80 proof, it means it's 40%. Right. That's not what I mean. Not that kind of proof.

Scientific proof. Right. That's what they've got somewhere. It says. There's a fucking, it's not, it makes sense. It's flat. There's a big wall of ice around it. Ricky.

It's flat. It's a dome. It's a dome. And the sun's closer than we thought, too, and it's smaller. What? Yep. He's been watching the fucking videos. Is that what they're saying?

The flat Earth people say the fucking Earth is a flat disk. All right. Surrounded by an ice wall that's a couple hundred feet high, and that's what holds the oceans in. And a lot of them say there's a fucking big dome over it. Yep. There's a big ice wall.'s a fucking big dome over there. Yep. There's a big ice wall. An ice wall surrounds the perimeter. That's what holds the oceans in. That's not... And the picture

of the Earth looks a lot different. I think it's Australia up here and the Americas of North and South down here. Rick, he's talking about the map that you see on the United Nations logo. He thinks that's the actual map of the world.

Anyway, when I knew for sure, 100,000% it was true, this guy's on the rambling, and I'm like, I'm starting to believe it. He goes, if you really, really want to believe, try to book a flight from the southern Americas to the Australias. Yeah. Qantas, man. You can fly to Qantas that way. I don't know.

I couldn't find one. They're there, but you try to get on and they're like, no. Oh, yeah. Look at this. Look at this. Computer. Oh, man. No, don't say it's true.

Dead. She died. Oh, man. Oh, man. This is not good. Put it in a bucket of rice. We need a bucket of rice. This is not good.

Or a bucket of ice. If it's dead, let's hear. Just be done with it. Oh, there we go. She's alive again. She's back. She's back. Thank fuck.

All right, so how many people out there believe there is flat? Is there a lot of people? Oh, there's a lot. So just when we thought there was one Ricky on planet Earth... Ricky, careful. That might be a good thing to do, bubs. Here, you better control that, because I fucked things up. She's seeming pretty goddamn dry now.

I don't know. It's inside. I saw some shit blast out of there that time. Oh, shit. That came out of this. Yeah, man. Fuck. It's okay.

It'll dry. Don't worry about it. It's me to do that. Probably just tip the laptop off. Tip it up. Tip it up. Tip it up. We're getting instructions here. This is what you do if you ever

spill beer on your laptop. Doesn't smell as beer-y. All right, that might have worked. All right, good. Yeah, so anyway, there is a lot of people that believe this. You spilled some more, Pubs. So anyway, there is a lot of people that believe this. You spilled some more, Pops. What the fuck is wrong with you guys? I didn't know it was open. Who's leaving open beers laying around? Not me. That was actually the one you spilled earlier.

Oh, fuck. Well, let's see. Here we go again. See, sometimes you forget about things. Keep it together. Okay, we're good. No more spilling. See, that proves the earth isn't flat right there, Ricky.

You think you're tipping over? Because we're on. No more spilling. See that proves the lyric isn't flat right there, Ricky. You think you're tipping over? Because we're on a curve. Whatever. So explain this one to me. If you get in a fucking airplane, and you take off, and you fly on the same heading, you will eventually come back to where you started. Explain the fuck.

No. Because of the way everything gets sucked to the middle of the flatness, you think you're flying a straight line, but it's really, it's fucking, it's pulling you around. Right? Oh. Okay, so, let's just say that that was true. You're saying the gravity... The magnet or whatever it is they set up.

The gravity of the flat Earth is still at the center, pulling things to the center, correct? I guess. I don't know how it works. I'm not a scientist. Okay, so if that was true... Yes. Then when you're standing in the center of the Earth, gravity is like this.

But if you're on the outer edge, that means gravity's pulling you horizontally. Well, it's kind of down, so it's sort of pulling you down to the center. Oh, okay, so... It might even be on the other side of the flatness with all the other dirt and everything else back there. Yeah, what is on the other... So here's the flat earth with the ice wall.

What's on the underside? Whatever they built it out of. Who built it? It could be concrete or fucking... Maybe they put an insulation over it. Who built it? Who built it? It could be concrete or fucking, maybe they put an insulation over it. Who built it? The aliens. We're all aliens, you guys know that, right? Well.

I've been reading a lot, boys, in the last few days. Pretty high. Okay, so the aliens built a desk that we're on with a dome over it. Yeah. And an ice wall. Yeah. So how come, how come Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, how come they're all round? How come we got the flat one? How do we know? We've never been there.

No, but they photographed them, Ricky, with the Hubble. How did the Hubble get out past the dome? It didn't. That's all made up? Yep. So is the moon. They're all lights up? Yep. So is the moon. They're all lights. Oh my fuck.

Alright, there is flights from South America. So when people witness the space shuttle take off, or a rocket take off from Cape Canaveral, where does it go? That's why when you see it go up, it starts to go on a curve. Because it fucking goes on a curve until it's out of sight, and then they just cut to this, you know, studio footage of, oh, yeah, we're fucking up in space.

Look at us go. Hey. Oh, my God. So all the astronauts are just... Actors. Actornauts. Actornauts. Oh, my God.

I can't wait to see Chris Hadfield. Can't wait to see Chris Hadfield and tell him that my buddy thinks he's an actor. I can't wait to see him either and say, nice try, bud. Didn't fool me, though. So Chris Hadfield has never been to space is what you're telling me? Never. No one has. No one has. Ricky.

No. Ricky, you gotta stop smoking whatever it is you've been smoking lately. Because it's actually frying your fucking brains now. Whatever else happened on this day? So we're just going to leave that one, are we? Leave it as flat earth? You know what? Everybody believes what everyone believes.

Ricky. 1971, Paul McCartney's album, Ram Goes Gold. I wonder what that fucking album was about. It was about fucking. No, it wasn't actually about fucking. Was it about fucking Dodge Rams? No, it was about... The Rams animal?

It was about... Ram on. Give your heart to somebody. Soon right away Ram on, yeah. Bang the living shit out of them. It does mean banging. Oh, it might, okay? Just fuck.

The Earth's flat and Paul McCartney writes songs about banging. I love it. Bruce Springtime signs a record deal with Columbia. Who? Bruce Springtime signs a record deal with Columbia. Who? Bruce Springtime. Father. Father Winters. Guys, Bruce Springtime.

Springsteen, right. Oh, Larry Holmes beats Ken Norton at 15 for the heavyweight boxing title. I remember Holmes. I remember that fight. Cyndi Loper's first number one time after times. That was her first number one? Yeah, 1984. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun wasn't number one?

I don't know, man. It's just going by what this says. Girls, they wanna have fun. This could be wrong. Who fucking knows? Oh, girls just wanna have... That's all they really want! Wow, you really went for that. Yeah, I did, but I didn't have the power. My throat's all closed. Did he whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavavavavavavavavavava Less, Paul. Okay. Michael J. Fox. Michael J. Fox.

1961. Is the J, is it like J-A-Y? Or is it just a J? He doesn't have a middle name? He has a middle name, but... What is it? Is he afraid to tell anybody? Must be a funny name, is it? Most people just use their initial, Ricky,

their middle initial. Why? I don't know, so that everybody's not saying three fucking names all the time, I guess. Or he's embarrassed by his middle name. He's like, fuck, just put the J there. Don't show him the rest of it. There's tons of people that use their middle initial, Ricky. Name one.

I can, just give me a second, for fuck's sakes. Roscoe P. Trey, Roscoe. Pico. No, no. No, that's not it, man. You're fucked up. How about P.T. Barnum? He used two initials.

Yeah. Was he embarrassed about his two names? What were his names? His full name was Penelope Trevor Barnum. There you go. Who the fuck wants to be called that? You fucking kidding me? I don't know what his full name is.

No, that's not his name. I gotta look it up now. I doubt his name was Penelope. Find out what fucking Michael J's middle name is too. Andrew. Andrew? Michael J. Okay. Andrew. Michael J's father name is too. Andrew. Andrew? Michael J.

Okay. Andrew. Michael J. Fox's middle name is not Andrew, I'll tell you right now. So Michael Andrew with a J. Fox. Is that what you're telling me? So J is short for Andrew? Who fucking knew that? Just give me a second here. That's fucked up.

Wow. Michael J. Fox. It's Michael Andrew Fox. It is the Fox reel. It is. Michael Andrew Fox, known professionally as Michael J. Fox, is a Canadian actor, author, producer, actor. So it's just a stage name, Ricky. It's a bad example because he's a celebrity. Why would he pick J?

It's his favorite letter? It just rolls off the tongue nice. So think about it. Michael A. Fox. See, that doesn't sound right. It's perfect actually because then he's like, I'm a fox. Michael, a fox. Wow. That's not good though, Ricky.

He doesn't want people getting confused. Is the last name Fox even real? Or does he just think he's a fox? Look at me. His real name is Michael Andrew Fox. So? And he didn't want the initials Michael a Fox. All right.

Because it's too confusing, probably, for his career. He needs something snappy, something that rolls off the tongue, and he picked J. So what do you think the J stands for? Is it just J? It stands for Andrew. No, no, no, you, what do you think the J stands for? Is it just J? It stands for Andrew. No, no, no, no, no. What does the J stand for? In his mind?

Yeah. I don't know. We've got to find out. Michael Jackson Fox. Probably not. Probably not Jackson. Jumpy? Michael Jumpy Fox.

I doubt it. Ricky? Jones? Why don't you, let's look it up. Here, just wait for fuck's sakes. See, we gotta figure this out. Here's an awesome fucking guy, man. That was one of my favorite shows growing up.

The Ties That Bind the Family. Personal life. What? What was that? The family show he was on. He was talking about family ties. Ties that? The family show he was on. He was talking about family ties. Ties that...

The ties that bind the family. What the fuck am I thinking? You're thinking of... You're thinking of... The one with Blair, the hot one. Facts of life. Oh yeah, okay. There was that show. Facts of life.

You take the good, you take the bad, you take them all, and there you have the facts of life. Who'd you fantasize about off that show? I didn't fantasize about anybody. No? Well, maybe. Yeah, me too. Who, Mrs. Garrett?

No. No, she was cool and stuff. Who, which one? I forget her name. Tootie? No. No, she was cool and stuff. Who? Which one? I forget her name. Tootie? No. The one that was, like, the dirt bikes. Joe Polnichak?

Is that her name? Yep. Jojo? Or what was her name? Joe Polnichak. I bet she was dirty. Yeah, maybe that's who it was. I forget.

Yeah. Fixed motorbikes and stuff. Very cool. Blair was the, like, maybe that's who it was. I forget. Yeah. Fixed motorbikes and stuff. Very cool. Blair was the, like, you know, the bitchy hot one. And do you remember Blair's cousin? Hold a second. Blair's cousin was hot. Wait a second.

Blair's cousin. What the fuck? Remember, you know Alex Keaton? Yeah. It was Alex P. Keaton, wasn't it? Or was something fucked? Alex P. Keaton, yeah. So we did it in that life, too.

It must be his thing. Ricky, did it in that life, too. Hmm. It must be his thing. What, he had a metal initial? Ricky, everybody, lots of people have metal initials. I don't even have a metal name. You do have a metal name. Nobody knows what it is. I do.

I was told to never tell you. Well, don't. That would ruin my life. Yeah, you wouldn't be laughing. Oh, you need the J's for Michael J. Pollard. The actor. Is that his name? Pollard?

Pollard? Huh? Michael, he, it's, he named it after Michael J. Pollard. Oh, wow. That's it. Anyway. I figured it out. So, okay. That makes sense. Anyway. Figured it out. So, okay.

That makes sense. Way to go. James T. Kirk. What does the T stand for? Tough as fuck. Don't think so. You should have just kept it. Who's tougher than Captain Kirk? Rocky Balboa.

No, Kirk would just blast him with a fucking phaser. Johnny Depp. Termaser. Johnny Depp. Terminator. Johnny Depp was fucking born today as well. He's been in a couple movies. That pirate stuff. Decent. And Natalie Portman.

She's in that Black Swan movie. I feel ya. I feel ya. Natalie Portman. She's the last black swan movie. I feel ya. I feel ya. Natalie Portman, she's a sexy lady. Well, we didn't really talk about anything today, did we? We talked about lots of stuff. We talked about a few things. We ruined my computer. Oh, man, I had a couple funny things.

Like what? I didn't read much about this, but this is a great fucking headliner. You can buy Macho Man Randy Savage's used unders underwear for a thousand eight thousand bucks on eBay. Eight grand. Randy Macho Man Savage's used underwear. Is it him selling them? No he's not alive. That's his tights. That's what he used to wear in the ring, man. It wasn't his underwear. It's just a pair of his tights that he wore. It doesn't mean...

It was bare balls and cock underneath it, for sure. That's pretty much an underwear. Does that up the price? I would think. So ball sweat ups the price. Yeah, some people would pay more money for a little ball sweat. I wonder if it comes with a certificate of whatever it's called. They were worn by Macho Man in WrestleMania V during the Royal Rumble.

Wow. Macho Man died in a car accident. I didn't fucking know that. I didn't either. You should buy those. Oh, yeah. Randy Macho Man Savage. Oh, yeah.

That was really good. Elizabeth. That was really good. Was he really banging Elizabeth in real life? Were they like, no? I think. I believe. Oh, yeah.

Macho Man, he was fucking decent. Yeah. Yeah. He was all sweaty, too. Sweaty. We should save up and try to buy a house, boys. This is a fuck-up. I gotta remember to stop passing out on people's fucking trunks.

This fucking couple drove 14 miles down an interstate and didn't realize there was a fucking drunk man sleeping on the trunk. No way. Yeah, man. That could have been me very fucking easily. A couple drives 14 miles down an interstate without knowing there was a drunk man sleeping on the trunk. Jesus, he could have just rolled off at any point.

Fucking lucky bastard. He must have been wasted. It's the only thing that saved his life. Was he, he was in the trunk? No. He was laying on top of the trunk. On the trunk, all right. And they drove 14 miles, and then they probably looked in the rear view.

Honey, there's a fella on the trunk. How would you not look back in the mirror, man, to the back? I don't know. Maybe he woke up and knocked on the window. Oh, he woke up and knocked on the trunk. How would you not look back in the mirror, man, to the back? I don't know. Maybe he woke up and knocked on the window. Oh, he woke up and knocked on the window. Is that what it says? No. I'm making that part up.

You know what would be funny? If you're driving down the highway and you're coming up on this car, and there's a dude just sleeping on the trunk. It would be a weird sight. Carl said he could not see him because of a sunshade across the rear window. All right, good. That's why he didn not see him because of a sunshade across the rear window. Right, good. That's why he didn't see him. Okay, so Carl drove 14 miles before he was pulled over by a police officer.

He didn't even notice him until the cop pulled him over. Sir, any idea why I might be pulling you over this evening? No. No, I don't, officer. Was I speeding? No. You have a man sleeping on your trunk. I do?

The man was woken up by the officer and taken away, but it is not known if he was charged. What would he be charged with? Having a drunk on his trunk. No, I think the drunk guy would be charged with me. That'd be a good T-shirt. Drunk on my trunk. Drunk on my drunk. I have a picture of you.

I don't know what it means, but I like it. Okay, boys, I think I'm fucking throwing in the towel here. Why? I have to. What, is this done? Can you drink this? Yeah, we're done for the day. Oh, well, fuck.

Done for today. Compressed gas duster. Ricky. Okay I gotta, I got an appointment I gotta be at. Alright. So you guys don't finish your off for me. Alright that's not too bad. Just gonna dust off the pipes. Don't people huff that shit?

I don't know. Oh. It's powerful. Are we done for real? Fucking done. You guys just gonna leave me here? Yeah. Fuck off. Alright. I guess done for real? Fucking done. You guys just gonna leave me here? Yeah. Fuck off. Alright.

I guess I'm fucking done too then. Later fuckwads.