Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 97 - MC Hammer’s Hammer

Episode Date: June 12, 2017

The Boys power through some sleepy dope and discuss the sizes of: the universe, MC Hammer’s hammer, and walrus cocks. PLUS - get learnt on Ricky’s greasy oil change methods! Episode 97 is brought to you by the Official Trailer Park Boys Store and the Boys' own Freedom 35 lager, now available across British Columbia, Nova Scotia, Newfoundland, Manitoba, Ontario and Alberta!  

Hey Ricky, if I can finish off your snack. Is that a cock? What? A cock? Looks like she has a cock. Oh yeah, she does. What? I don't know what that is. Get that away from me, please. Well, that's a weird thing to find. On the table? Well, whose is it?

I don't know. There's another one here. What are these called? Nudie cards, man. Like, is this a dude, too? I don't know. You can't really tell. Cindy Lynn? No, that's just a lady, Ricky. I don't know. Where did these come from?

They're fucking here. They're yours, I guess. They're not mine. Yeah, whatever. You're always ordering weird things online. That's a strap-on, Ricky. See how it's connected to the......bit she's wearing there? That's a...

That's what they commonly refer to as a strap-on, I believe. Okay. Huh. Neat. Well, that's very nice, guys. Slaggy and Randy, were they in here playing cards or something? Who knows, man. So when are we starting this? Right now.

Okay. Ricky, me and Julian were talking. Yes. We want you to do the intro. What the fuck? Where do I do it? Oh man, there's a whole, Jesus Christ. Why are you finding all these things?

There's a whole gaggle of them. Let me see some of this. Jesus, Murphy. All right, here it is. Okay, I'm gonna start that again. Okay, Ricky. Where do I look? Is it here? No, look over there.

Right over there, man. No, they're saying over here? Over here. Okay. It is June 16th. Welcome to the official Trailer Park Boys pot cash. Cash, nice. Number 97. The Connor McDavid pot cash. The what? It's number 97. The Connor McDavid podcast.

The what? It's number 97. Isn't that his number? Oh. Doesn't really make a lot of sense. Connor McDavid? I thought you meant Connor... McGregor. McGregor.

No, Connor McDavid from the clan McDavid. The hockey player. It could be only one. Not the UFC fighter. No, not the guy that you have posters up all over your shed of. Yeah, what's up with that? I don't have posters. Yes, you do.

You've got a couple of posters up there. I fought him in a bar over in Europe. Look at the moose lips on this. Wow. Moose lips? Moose, what? Mickey. That's not nice.

Moose lips. Whatever you call them. Jesus, Murphy. He's not talking about the ones on her head. No, I know what ones he's talking about. The danglers that are hanging straight down. There's a lot of stuff hanging out there. The danglers? He's talking about the danglers.

Do you like the danglers, Bubbs? I guess. I've counted that many times. Believe me. How many? Hundreds. Hundreds? Hundreds of times I've done dirty stuff. Right on, man. On YouTube, maybe. I don't put my videos on YouTube.

We should try to have a good podcast. Let's have a good one this time. Let's do it. This is rock and lean bullshit. What do you guys got? I was counting on you, Ricky. Well, I guess we can get what the fuck happened today

on the June of the 16th. Okay, look, they even gave me one so I can follow along. See if there's anything good here. 1829. The Apache leader

and resistance fighter Geronimo. Mine only goes back to 1880. What are you on? Oh, you're on Bornt. Oh, sorry. That's all right. You want to start with Bornt?

Geronimo. Geronimo? Geronimo, the native fella. He was that native fella who used to jump off buildings, wasn't he? Geronimo! Oh, my fuckery. Ricky. No, man.

He wasn't jumping off buildings. What buildings would Geronimo be Oh my fuckery. Ricky? No, man. He wasn't jumping off buildings. What buildings would Geronimo be jumping off of in 1829? They have buildings back there? Well, I don't think the buildings you're picturing. Where did that fucking thing come from? Whenever you jump off something, you're like, Geronimo! Maybe he did. Maybe he was jumping off cliffs and attacking the cowboys and stuff.

I don't know. No, he wasn't doing that, man. No, but you know, you see in the movies, the cowboys are going down through the gully, down through the canyon, and then they start attacking ambush style from above. Maybe he was jumping off and coming down on them with the tomahawk.

Geronimo! Maybe. Or it could have been like cowboys on top of a building. They'd see them coming at them on horses, fucking bowing arrows and shit, just ready to light up the place, and they'd go, Geronimo. Jump off the building.

Because they don't want to fuck around with these guys. These guys are tough, man. Who? Geronimo and his... Oh, I know they are. I wouldn't want to fuck around with these guys. These guys are tough, man. Who? Geronimo and his... Oh, I know they are. I wouldn't want to fuck with those guys. Fuck that. Who else do we got?

1888, Bobby Clark. Who else got their fucking born to arm? Bobby Clark, 1888. He was a vaudevillian clown, world's funniest circus clown. I didn't know he was a fucking clown. He's one fucking hell of a hockey player. Who, Bobby Clark? Yeah, man. Fucking tough as fuck.

Maybe that's how he lost his teeth when he was doing his clowning. 1888, Ricky. This Bobby Clark was born in 1888. So there's two Bobby Clarks? Well, I fucking hope so. Otherwise, Bobby Clark, who you're thinking of, was 90 when he was playing in the NHL, fighting people. He's in some shape, if he was. It's not the same guy.

He wasn't. That's my point. Also born, that was quite a year, Peter Stoner. Whatever the fuck, that was a great name, though. He's an American mathematician and astronomer. Wow. He died in 1980. Wow.

So he was, he'ser. He was 108. No, he was 92. 92. That would have given him a lot of time to look at stars and figure shit out. Who else, man? Roberto Duran. Incredible boxer. Oh yeah, I was thinking he was one of the Duran Duran people.

Roberto Duran was not in Duran Duran. He was a fucking... It would have been impossible. Not with Simon and Abong. It would have been a lot tougher of a band. Yeah, Duran Duran going around punching the shit out of people. Punching the shit out of other bands. Fucking badass. Ultimate Warrior.

What's that? He was a wrestler. Okay. Tupac. Tupac was born. He was a wrestler. Great. Tupac. Tupac was born. He's fucking awesome. 1971. 1971.

American rapper and actor. Well, I don't need to really explain who Tupac is, I guess. Nope. Nope. 1996. That's when... Tupac. He died, yeah.

Tupac. He packed it in. That's why J-Rock, when we go into bars that are full of people, we'll walk in, you hear J-Rock say, let's get out of here, it's fucking Shakur in here. And you're like, what do you mean it's Shakur? He goes, it's Tupac. Let's go. It's Tupac. Gotcha.

That was J-Rock's. I always wondered what the fuck he meant by that. That's what he means when he says, or remember when we were at the store and he said, give me a shakor of Player's Light. He was ordering cigarettes. Give me a shakor of Player's Light. And she's like, what do you mean?

He's like, two packs. Nice. I'm going to start maybe trying that out. Do it. Don't do it, man. It's dumb. All right. It's pretty good.

Okay, let's move it on. Okay, Rick. Holy fuck. Things that happened on today, 1884, first roller coaster used, Coney Island, New York. What year? 1884. Holy fuck, would I ever knock it on a roller coaster in 1884? Fuck that.

It'd be pretty fucking scary. It must have been made of what? Wood. She'd be wood, Rick. Those are the best ones, though. The wooden ones. Well, they crank it. They're fucking terrifying.

Coney Island reminds me of Coney Hatch. Remember those guys? Yes, I do remember Coney Hatch. What was their tune? I forget, but I used to crank the fuck out of it. What was that tune, Bobster? The big Coney Hatch tune? Coney Hatch's big song is, um, Fuck, I'm not supposed to be chewing. Forgot.

I just figured out what it meant. What? Hatch. Coney. All right. She had a Coney Hatch. Who did? Who had a coney hatch. Who did? Who had a coney hatch? Some girl they were writing it about.

Her name, their band after it. What's her hatch? What's her hatch, Ricky? Rhymes with? Batch. Snatch. Snatch. Yes.

She had a coney hatch. So what does a coney hatch look like? It would either start small and get big or start big and get small. That's what I'm guessing. Holy fuck. Gee, you got a coney hatch. Coner. Now I gotta know what coney hatch is. I can't think of it.

The name of it. Pepsi Cola Company formed in 1903. How does that happen? How does something just form? You know what I mean? They came up with the fucking Pepsi, right? They didn't just form. Somebody formed it, Ricky.

I'm going to form a company now. A bunch of shit just came together, and there it is. Pepsi. It was a lot of work. Jimmy Pepsi formed it. Did he? Jimmy Pepsi. Tony Hatch.

Man, it's not a... We got... Meteorite hit here in 1911. Wisconsin. Damaged to burn. Wow. That's fucking crazy. Discovered?

What? What's crazy, Ricky? A meteorite strikes a fucking earth in Wisconsin and damaged to burn. Coney Hatch. Monkey bars? Monkey bars was good. Devil's deck? in Wisconsin and damaged a barn. Coney Hatch, Monkey Bars. Monkey Bars was good. Devil's Deck. Hey, Operator.

First time for everything. Discover 25 launched. Man, this is, there's got to be some good shit here. This is lame. You know what? We wanted an exciting fucking podcast

and this sucks. Fucking June 16th? Better fuck off. It's a shooty fucking day. Ringo releases Bad Boy. That's quite a name there, Ringo. You're so bad. He's a bad boy.

Watch out for Ringo. He's so bad. Ricky, I don't think he was... And Wings releases I I've had enough. Really? Yeah. I wonder what that was about. Holy fuck, 1990.

You can't touch this by fucking the hammer comes out. Peaks at number eight. Yeah. Fuck, that was a good song. You really liked that, didn't you? I liked the pants. I mean, I liked it. Julian had a pair of those pants.

I did. They were cool for a little bit. Those were yours. Those were your pants. I mean, I like the pants. Julian had a pair of those pants. I did. They were cool for a little bit. I had them. Those were yours. Those were your pants. That's right. They were my pants. Those fucking gold weird pants you used to rock around in.

I used to fucking wear them. I admit it. You had the moves. You could do the whole fucking dance. I could do it because I was good with my feet. Didn't you do that up on stage in the Legion? Can't touch this. You just sang the whole thing, did the dance? Yes.

That is a weird song. At the variety show, I won the fucking variety show. Wish we had that on tape, man. Why would he not want people to touch it? That's what I can never figure out. He should be like, you can touch this. He said, you can't touch this. What do you think he's talking about? It's not with him or his penile, but that's what it is.

It's like, hey, look at me, but you can't touch this. You can't touch this. You can't even compete. You can't compete with me. That's what he means. I always thought it was about his body. And did that disappoint you? Well, I just always wondered.

He could probably have a lot of ladies always wondered, like he's, you know, he could probably have a lot of ladies, or dudes, whatever he's into. Why do you think they called him MC? Go ahead, you can touch this. Why do you think his name was MC Hammer? Because he had probably quite a hammer on him. He was packing?

When he used to MC, he'd wear no pants. And then he just became MC Hammer, maybe. There's a reason that his name was MC Hammer, and he wore baggy, loose pants in the front. Somebody seems to have... Not a coincidence. Somebody seems to know an awful lot about MC's fucking... I've never even thought of that before. Are you serious? MC Hammer...

So Hammer Time means, let's get it going. Hammer Time means... So you watch it and all you see is his junk fucking flopping around in these baggy pants. Is that what you're saying? I don't know. And again, why would he wear the tightest pants on the planet of the earth? Because you can't touch this, Ricky. Again, why are you thinking about MC's fucking huge hammer?

I'm not. No, but if you had one, you should be embracing it. I would. Vanilla Ice. I would have skin-tight pants. At least I wasn't into Vanilla Ice. Who went in a fight between Vanilla Ice and the hammer? I don't know.

Vanilla's pretty fucking tough looking these days. Didn't he box somebody? Remember when... Screech box somebody? Remember when... Screech or something? Remember when... Screech. Remember when Julian... Vanilla, he's never fought Screech, did he?

I think so, man. Screech. In a boxing ring, yeah? Oh, my God. I think fucking Screech took him down. He beat the piss out of Screech, wouldn't he? I think he did, yeah. He beat the piss out of Screech.

Remember when Julian bought that white Mustang convertible and he used to cruise around and crank that song? Roll it in my 5.0 with my red top dance and my hair can't blow. Curly's on the stair by waiting to see her. It wasn't because of him I bought the car, okay? I got a good deal. You got a good deal on a car that looked just like Vanilla's and you knew all the lyrics and that song just happened to come on the radio seven times a day. Do you know all the lyrics? I mean now I don't know any of the lyrics. I do have to admit back there I was jealous I didn't want to admit it but I thought you were fucking so cool with that car and playing that song. Thanks man. Fuck it pissed me off.

It was a different time back then you could do shit like that it'd be cool. Your long fucking hair blowing in the wind. Fuck. You were lucky, man. Do you miss Vanilla Ice, Ricky? I just miss that whole time, you know? We were so free. Hmm. Everything's so fucking different now. Everybody was wearing track pants and shit back then, right?

Yeah, man. It's just a more comfortable time. Well, that's true. There was not as many crazy fucking people, it seems. There's just a more comfortable time. Well, that's true. There was not as many crazy fucking people, it seems. There's a lot of crazy fucking people in the world now. Meanie. Where have they come from?

A lot of meanies. I wish they'd just all fucking chill the fuck out. Get high. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Well, this has become a depressing fucking podcast. It is a depressing podcast.

Nice going, boys. It's very depressing, so let's turn that frown upside down. All right, you know what? I can't even look at any more shit to happen. Stop reading shit, man. Let's get this fucking thing happening. Okay, Ricky. Who's got something good?

Something funny? No spills yet today. That's good. That's good, then. I notice you're not having any beer today. No, I took the day off from the beer. Laptop still chugging away? Well, it's got some problems. There's a sticky part. But I don't know if that's from where I spilled the beer

or from when I loaned my computer to you. It's not from me because I was not pointed in that direction when things were going down. That doesn't sound right. What a nice story this is. This farmer, he bears his faithful truck after 48 years of service. He banged it? He buried it, man.

Why? Because it was his fucking favorite truck of 48 years, and he didn't want to see it go to a fucking scrapyard, so he buried the fucking thing. Gave it a salute, and away he goes. He had a funeral for it. Wow. He had a funeral.

It's really touching. Or it's fucked. Now it's probably going to ruin the fucking earth. Ricky, you buried way worse things than a truck. I didn't know better back then. Ray used to bury, remember Ray used to bury his garbage? And he's buried barbecues. There's a cemetery of barbecues. Do you remember when you guys had the big pit dug behind the house and Ray used to just fire full garbage bags of plastic and everything in there. Yeah, that's why you can't get anything to fucking grow there, I guess.

It sucks. I wonder if that's why our water tastes fucked. Of course it is. It's definitely white, man. Of course it is. So there could be some bad shit in our water. Ricky, your water tastes like a fucking plastic factory. Bit of gas.

Gas? That's probably from the fracking. Well, no, if he had old gas. Gas? That's probably from the fracking. Well, no, if he had old gas, like for the wintertime, you know, you're not supposed to keep your gas over the winter. Well, he would, and then in the springtime, he would just dump it on the fucking lawn and fill her up, which is probably, I don't know if that's good or bad, but it might be bad. It's bad.

Ray used to dump gasoline on the lawn. Yeah, he used to change his fucking oil on the lawn. Just let it drain. See, that's fucked. You can't do that anymore. It's just fucking pain in the ass. That's what buckets are for, Ricky. No, you just go to a fucking manhole.

It's, you don't... Same as going to an oil change place. Ricky... That's even worse, man. It seems like going to an oil change place. Refkin? That's even worse, man. It's like getting... Oh, man. Tell me you haven't changed your oil by letting it drain down a manhole. Yes, many times. Fucking motorcycle oils on my dirt bikes. Fucking...

It's perfect. It's not perfect, man. If you get someone to drive the car, you can climb down the ladder with all your tools. It's just like being at an oil change place. You get a train or someone to drive the car, you can climb down the ladder with all your tools. It's just like being at an oil change place. You get a trainer or someone to pull the car right up. It's like, keep your car right there, right there. Stop. And then you take the screw out.

Try not to get any on you. Let it drain down. Put the screw back in. Okay. Back her up. And then hopefully the engine can run for a few seconds with no oil in it. And then you get out. Put some oil in it before it seizes up.

Away you go. No garbage, nothing to deal with. Yeah, just the oil, fucking, just the oil that you just sent out to the fucking ocean. That's fucked, Rick. All right, well, what do you guys got? You got anything more touching stories about farmers, beer and shit? Here's what I got, look. A blank screen. Wow, that looks exciting. Not very exciting.

We can talk about this Tennessee dude. He got a $14 million bond after daring the judge to raise his bond. Not a good thing. I've done it. It's a dumb thing to do. Daring the judge? Yeah. Yeah, he shouldn't do that. What did he dare the judge to do? To raise his bond. Oh, so he did it.

Well, the fucking guy... What did it start out as? $50,000. Nichols stood up, told the judge, go fuck yourself, and gave him the finger. Everyone in the courtroom, the bird. So then he told him to sit down, and then Nichols said,

I don't give a fuck. Why don't you give me a million dollar bond so the judge did sources say nichols then challenged the bench again daring the judge to raise the bond to 10 million so he did a little game went on until the man's bond was raised and set at 14 million dollars from 50 grand he's not getting out he's well fucking for the bond son of a whore is fucking accused of killing his wife and ran her over in the driveway, I guess. He's just a nasty, mean motherfucker. He's a dick.

He's a dick. He is a dick. Dick weed. All right, that was fun. What else do you got there, Rick? Rick is the most prepared person here. He is prepared. Woman charged for macing fast food employees over stale french

fries. She maced the employees? That's what it says, I guess. Yeah. Didn't like her fries. So she maced everybody. That's really taking it up a notch. That's crazy. Crazy people.

Fucking crazy people. I hate crazy people. Oh, man. What the fuck is this shit? Somebody spent ten pounds on a fucking costume jewelry ring, whatever that means. It was worth hundreds of, like, $454,000. Diamonds. Decent. Why can't that happen to us? I know.

So they bought a piece, they thought they were buying a piece of old shitty costume jewelry? Yep. Decent. I guess it doesn't happen to us because we don't buy costume jewelry. Maybe we should start. No, Ricky, the chances of that happening... If you bought ten, you might get one. Ricky, no.

The odds are not that high. 50 to 1? Way higher. 70? No, I'm talking it's probably 20 million to 1. All right. Fuck it, then. We're not buying 20 million fucking rings.

That would be dumb. That would be very dumb. There's this company in Sweden. They're putting fucking... They're burying trucks? No, man. Saying goodbye to them? This is a little bit more interesting.

They're putting microchips in some of their employees' hands. If they want to. But it's just making life easier. They get doors. Instead of having to use a key, they just go, boop, opens the door. Or they could use a key. Or they go to the cafeteria, get their fucking meal. Instead of getting no credit cards and stuff, they just go, boop.

I wouldn't trust it. Not a fucking chance. Well, they know where your ass is. Why can't they just have something around their necklace? Same idea, except you don't have to have a goddamn operation. Some people are lazy, man. Man, that's fucking... If you're lazy...

That's fucking government taking control of you. They put a chip in saying, oh yeah, no, it's just for doors and paying for shit. Next thing you know, they fucking shut you down you can't move here this is this site it's called what the fuck facts yeah first one that came up there's a guy who spent his entire life savings trying to win an xbox connect and all he won was a giant banana what the fuck are are you talking about? He spent his whole life saving. It was probably one of those fucking, you know, the games with the claw or whatever. He was trying to... Man, that's fucked.

That is stupid. Mick Jagger, while seeking help for sex addiction, ended up seducing his therapist. Nice. Oh, Mick. All right. Well, is that it? Are we done? I don't know, Ricky.

This was not a good weed or whatever the fuck we smoked, Rick. This one sucked. No, it's a weird, weird buzz on. I just stopped eating popcorn nonstop. I feel like just climbing into a couch. I want to go to sleep. I thought this might give us all kinds of stuff. No, you're just boring the fuck out of us.

By 2018, there will be remote-controlled birth control. What does that mean? Remote-controlled birth control. I don't know. You take a pill, I guess, and then there's a little remote that you drive it around. I don't know. Or maybe it's not a pill. Maybe it's like this remote control.

You send something in there, and you've got to fucking use the remote control and get all the little guys. A little, like, robot that goes in your piss hole, and you control it, goes in, and fucks over. Or it's a little, I don't know, some kind of a vacuum. It'd suck up the fish? Fish? No, I don't think it's a vacuum, man.

All right, well... Yeah, you just can't throw shit like that out there and not have anything for us. I've been wanting to talk about this one for a bit, and actually somebody, I think, just when I told me somebody wrote in about it, this is kind of fucked up. This fucking dude in Plaster Rock, New Brunswick,

which is pretty close to us, he got arrested. He got caught with 438 pounds of moose and bear meat, which is, you know, kind of fucked. But here's the kicker. They also confiscated five bear cocks and one walrus cock. What?

Yes. That's what it... He had five fucking bear cocks mounted on a fucking plaque or some shit. You mean bear as in no clothing on them? Like a fucking human bear. Not a human bear. What are they called? The bears in the wild.

A bear. A grizzly bear. Yes. Five of those fucking cocks mounted. And a walrus. Where the fuck do you find a walrus cock? I don't know,. Five of those fucking cocks. Walrus. Where the fuck do you find a walrus cock? I don't know,

but they have the biggest cocks. I don't know, but there's a pissed off walrus walking around. Walruses have huge cocks, apparently. That's why he wanted one. He must have like,

maybe he has a really tiny one or he's obsessed with big, huge penises, I guess. Was he planning on selling them? It's not a thing to fucking, I'm going to go. So he had the bear ones mounted? Yeah.

Mounted? Hey, boys. Like a plaque. You want to go hunting for bear cocks? So he had them mounted. Okay, I thought he was selling them to, you know, people buy shit like that. So a bear must have a pretty bony cock

to get it mounted, or how does that work? Does a bear cock have skin on it? Does it hang out? It's got to have skin on it? Does it hang out? It's got to have skin on it, man. What about a walrus cock? Does a walrus cock just hang from a walrus or does it got to come out from the inside? Ricky, I haven't been paying attention. There's a lot of questions. I don't need answers to these questions. You know what? I want to hear a cool fact. Why is a walrus cock so big? Well,rus it's a big fucking animal horse is a huge animal so he's gonna need a big cock just to bang other walruses cuz they're big as well so what

possessed this guy did he see a walrus cock and said fuck I gotta have one of those or what how does this I think what the fuck was on a person's brain? I think you'd have to ask him, Ricky. I'd like to go fucking see him. Say, bud, what the fuck is going on up there? Was he doing it as a joke? Thought it was funny? No. Or was he just... he loved it? He loved fucking animal cocks, I guess.

That's fucked up, man. Hey, wanna hear something fucked? I hope so. Neil Armstrong had to fill out an immigration form while coming back to the Earth from the moon. No, he didn't. That's a fact. That's bullshit, man. I don't buy into that shit.

I think they probably did it as a joke, but I mean, he was out of the country. Yeah, he was out of the country all right. But he didn't go to any other countries, did he? Moon. Is that a country? Well, it's something. Do they have immigration? On the moon? No, there's something. Do they have immigration? On the moon?

No, there's no Ricky. No Ricky. So anybody can go there? They don't give a fuck, just let anybody in? Here's something cool. Here's, this'll maybe you'll be able to understand how big the fucking universe is from this explanation, Ricky. Nope, I won't. Not even going to try?

All right, give it to me. If you left Earth traveling at the speed of light... How fast is that? About 350,000 kilometers a second. That's fast, okay. Jesus Christ. Okay, keep going. It's fast. So if you left the Earth going at the speed of light...

Copy that. It would take 1.3 seconds to get to the moon. Okay. Okay. That's fast. That would be freaky. That's some serious acceleration. Yeah, it would take 8 minutes and 17 seconds to get to the sun.

But that's quick. 8 minutes to get to the Sun. So we can go start exploring the universe. No, you can't go at the speed of light. I'm saying if you could. Oh, yeah. Okay. So think about that. Eight seconds to the Sun. Got it. Eight minutes to the Sun. Oh, eight minutes. Fuck, that's pretty slow. One second to the Moon. Yes. Eight minutes to the Sun. Got it. 46 billion years to get to the edge of the universe. I blew his mind. Yeah, my mind's pretty blown.

How many billion? 46.5 billion years to get to the edge of the observable universe. You would get to the fucking sun in eight minutes. There you go. Didn't you say it's even? I still can't fucking wrap my head around that shit, but that's... You're going at the speed of light, but it's still going to take you 46 billion years. It's starting my... I'm starting to fucking realize that it's big. And you know what's freaky, Ricky? That's just the observable universe.

It probably goes on for infinity. I mean, what's after that, Bubz? It keeps going. I still don't believe any of it's real, but... It has to be. If we're not living in a flat Earth dome, which many think we are. Ricky, we're not living in a flat earth fucking dome.

Jesus, Murphy. All right, I'm going to have a nap. You guys, a nap. Here, just wait. I got to tell you one more strange fact. Don't hurt my brain anymore. Make it end. This is a simple one.

It's about Morgan Freeman, you know. Who Morgan Freeman is. He was in a movie I liked. Matrix, man. He was in The Matrix. He was in Shawshank. No, that's the one. Shawshank.

That fucking jail movie was awesome. It was awesome. The shit pipe. Shawshank Redemption, one of the fucking best movies ever written. In my opinion. Yeah. Morgan Freeman. Somebody.

Andy Dufresne. Fucking yes. Andy Dufresne. He crawled through the shit pipe. And they went to the sunny place. Mexico. That was cool. Andy Dufresne.

Morgan Freeman wears earrings so that if he dies in a strange place, they can pay for his coffin. Is that serious? It's on What the Fuck Facts. What the Fuck Facts may be not so fucking true. Or he dies in a strange place, they just fucking take whatever's on him

and throw him in a gutter somewhere. Throw Morgan Freeman's old carcass down a well. So that's his excuse for wearing earrings. Wow. That's what he says. He doesn't need an excuse. That's a joke. He's joking around, man.

All right, well, that was a great way to end it. Thanks, bubs. Just wait. There's a cat fact here. When Nancy Cowan was moved into a nursing home, her relocated cat, Cleo, showed up two weeks later, even though she'd never been there before. She started hanging out on the benches until somebody noticed her,

and now they live together at the facility. I bet you a thousand percent it's a lookalike. It's not a lookalike, Ricky. Cats know. They know. Kitties know how to get places. So what? She just can sense where the fucking lady is?

Yes. Cats are... It's a fact. Cats have telepathy. They have a seventh sense? Kitties have it all. Ugh, fuck. Alright.

No more kitty facts, please. Yeah, that wasn't really... I guess it's cool, but... Just wait, boys. I found a thousand kitty facts. Fuck. We're gonna go through them all. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Why? I just can't. Boring, man. All right.

Are we done? I guess so. I'm done. Wow, the people that make Nutella, they use 25% of the world's hazelnut supply. Those Nutella people. That's great, bubs. That's hogging the world's hazelnut supply. They're Nutella people. That's great, bubs. That's hogging the hazelnuts.

No kidding. Fucking hazelnut hogs. Hey. All right. I'm done this fucking thing, so let's make this happen. I'll meet you in the fucking parking lot there at Mic Mac. Ricky, don't be making drug deals on the fucking podcast. Ten minutes. And bring it all. Yeah, I't be making drug deals on the fucking podcast. Ten minutes. And bring it all.

Yeah, I want the whole fucking thing. Cool. All right, boys. Enjoy your fun facts. Are you getting something better than what we smoked today? Please? Oh, buddy. You fucking wait.

There's a ginger cat named Ollie that frequents a London supermarket and he refuses to leave. Security has removed him several times, but every day he continues to saunter in, sit on the shelf, and quietly judge your shopping hat. Ollie. That's great, bubs.

Ollie. All right, see you later. I'd love to have that kitty. Rick, do you need a lift or anything to where you're going there? He sounds decent. If you don't mind, give me a lift. That'd be great.

I'm trying to fucking stockpile some assets, as they call them, for fucking number 100. Rick, you're not buying assets, are you? No assets? Assets. Oh, assets. I taught him about assets. It's good to have some assets. I'm going to get some stuff for number 100.

Maybe we'll try it on number 98. We need something, man. Don't you wish your cock could do that? I don't know, fuck, we'll shoot a flame out the end of it? Yeah, that'd be awesome. You'll keep banging without wrapping it up, and you'll be able to do that soon. Ba-doom-doom-tss!