Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 98 - Go Big or Leave Home

Episode Date: June 14, 2017

On this week’s podcash, the Boys ponder the existence of aliens and the disappearance of Trevor. They also discuss the most painful moments in their lives (Ricky remembers something worse than Mo shooting his nuts), and Bubbles gets so high he thinks he has time-travelled!  

What the fuck are you doing, man? Just warming up my hands. Still cold. Holy fuck, you've got cold hands, man. What's wrong with you? Lost my circulation. Do some exercise, man. Got no circulation. Cold hands, warm cock.

Who does? Isn't that what they say? You better not have been touching mine in my sleeve, Ricky. Okay, let's go here. All right, let's go. All right, who's doing this today? Am I getting back into the fucking routine? You can try. What's going on, fuckers?

This is the official Trailer Park Boys podcast. It's coming at you right now. What's the date today? June 23rd. What number podcast is it? 98th. They're twiddling nuts. On the game.

We are getting fucking close. Getting close. To Big 100 and Canada's 150th birthday. It's going to be a big one. 150th birthday. It's getting old. Why do they say June 23rd? For what?

Well, why isn't it June 23? Oh, my God. Ricky. Are you serious? Yeah. Well, you're in third place if you come in third spot. This is day 23 of June. They can. You can say that.

Both of them are correct. But everyone says June 23. Why not June 23? Because it's the 23rd day of June. But it's day 23. Yes. It's the 23rd day. Ricky, you can say June 23.

I'm going to if I want. That's my thing. That's who I am. So next week will be June 30. Because 23 plus 7 is 30. Okay, and when's your birthday then, Ricky? Forget. You're fucked. Jesus, Murphy.

All right, great way to start it there, Rick. Fuck off. Really stupid shit. Why don't you blow me? How do we start it off like that? That's quite a way to start it off. I'd like to see that. You'd like to see that? Him blowing me? No, that isn't what I said. That's what you just said, man. No, I just, the concept of it is pretty hilarious. Andy would like to watch it. If you all of a sudden went, yeah, okay, Rick, I'll do that. Get her out, bud. No, that wouldn't happen, bud.

All right, maybe we should get this started for real. We just did. All right, what do you get this started for real. We just did. All right, what do you got going here? What's up? What are we talking about? What do you want to talk about? I don't know, man.

I have nothing really to talk about. You want to talk about your feelings? Yeah, I do. How are you these days? Not great. Not fucking great. Okay. I guess the camera people are going to come follow us here soon. Yeah.

Well, no, they're... Yeah. I'm not happy about it, really. Not this year. All right. Well, whose fucking fault is it? Yours. Well, yeah, because I mean, you know.

Back then when I signed the contracts, I didn't know what the fuck I was talking about or doing. I had no idea. Showing off. I didn't know it would continue on for this long. What the day is it? I don't want to be a movie star. I think I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger. You guys fuck off. I can hear what

you're saying. I think the world needs to see these muscles. You guys are fucked. I got nicer muscles than the rock. I've got nicer muscles than the rock. I've got nicer muscles than the rock? Would you... Bubs, would you fuck off?

Well, I noticed you've been really dying up the rock lately. That guy's fucking massive, man. I don't even care about fucking muscles and all that shit. You would class him as massive, would you? He's a big man. He works out. He's in shape, man. Do you have respect for him? See, I can't even... Somebody's attracted to man. He works out. He's in shape, man. Do you have respect for him?

See, I can't even... Somebody's attracted to him. Yep. Why do you always go there, man? If you were collecting muscle men, and you probably have... Like auction payers? If you were collecting muscle men, like if you had a muscle man collection, where would The Rock go? Would he be a top shelfer? Or would he be a... Would he be in a a glass case or would he just be sort of...

He'd probably be at eye level. No, like fucking... Arnold Schwarzenegger, he's the man, okay? I know he's old and shit now and he's, you know, he's old. But he's your top shelfer? He was the man. That guy was fucking, you know, smart, big, got banged a lot. Yeah, just don't let got banged a lot. Yeah. Don't let him around your nanny.

Yeah, he did some serious planking. Serious. That's a workout move, isn't it, planking? No, man, it's banging. It's banging, which is probably a good workout. You do some heavy-duty banging. So you get turned on when he planks, when he does that core strength move. I did not say I get turned on. I wonder if we could invent

an action figure for Julian that when he flexes, his muscles actually get bigger. He could squeeze an air thing or something, and when he flexes, his muscles fucking got bigger. Sure you could.

It'd be awesome. You could do that. That's fucked. There was an action figure that you actually could flex and his biceps got bigger. I forget which one it was. Okay, I guess if anyone would know about it, it would be you. It's been out there. I guess if anyone would have that action figure.

I don't know if it's G.I. Joe or what one it was, but one did actually do it. The Incredible Hunk? Or Hulk? You're going to be the Incredible Hunk. Would you fuck off? Remember that time I spelled the bucket of green paint on you? And we were calling you the Incredible Hunk for two weeks? And by spilled, you mean when he dumped it over his head when he was drunk?

Yeah. You guys are fucked. Everybody was like, hey, look, the Incredible Hunk. That didn't happen, man. Yes, it did. You're so full of shit, bubs. Ooh, I got a sore head. What makes it sore?

I don't know. It's just like a... Why does it sore? I just got a sore head. That's all. Like a headache? Is it true, like, if you got jabbed in the head, like with a fucking knitting needle or something,

and it went right in, you don't have feeling in your brain, right? That's correct. There is no nerve endings endings and you just you'd feel the skin and stuff and you'd feel it going through the skin and the skull and everything but they can scramble up your brain just like a nice bit of frosh scrambled eggs I had that metal skewer shoved in my head I thought fucking hurt so I don't know but you felt the pain up here right Ricky fucking hurt, so I don't know. But you felt the pain up here, right, Ricky? It just fucking hurt. I don't know what the pain was from.

Exactly. What's the most painful thing you've ever had happen to you, Ricky? I know. I know what it is. Probably when Mo blew my nuts off. That hurt. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.

But it didn't blow your nuts off. It went right between. Blew the sack apart. It could have been worse. Thanks for helping me out there. I blew your sack shut. Yeah. Is it still working down there now?

Is everything good? Seems to be. Yeah, it seems to be great. It's a bit. I seem to be hornier, actually, since it happened. Hmm. Hornier. Hornier.

So that would be the most painful thing? There's got to be something worse than that. Can you remember anything? I remember one thing you did where you were in agony. Was the vice grips on the tip of my penis? Yes. That was stupid. What possessed me to think that I could withstand that type of pain?

I don't know, but I was just like... You know when you clamp ice grips so tight you can't even open them with the little lever? He had them right on the end of his bird that way. Why was he doing that? Why would you do that? Because Corey dared him. Corey said he couldn't take it. And Ricky's like, fuck you, Corey. Corey did it on his fucking finger and I wanted to take it up a notch.

Which was dumb. But why? Liquor. Alright, liquor. Couldn't get them off. It was pretty deformed for almost a year and a half. And it hurt every time I pissed. Well, you just had the very end of it. Just the skin.

Just the very end of it. Oh, I remember the time, though. Remember the time you were clipping the hair around your nipple with nail clippers and you cut the end of your nipple off? That sucks. With toenail clippers. I remember that, too. Bled like a son of a whore. Jesus, that was terrible.

That was fucking terrible. Very stupid. What's the most painful thing you've ever done, Julian? I don't know, man. At first, I didn't know it was blood. I thought it was fucking terrible. Very stupid. What's the most painful thing you've ever done, Julian? I don't know, man. At first I didn't know it was blood. I thought it was just like milk leaking out or something, which wouldn't have made much sense. No, that wouldn't have made much sense, Ricky.

I broke my ankle that time. That sucked. That's a bad break. You don't want to break your fucking ankle. When you were banging? No, I was working out, man. I jumped off the bench and twisted my fucking ankle. Jumped off the bench?

What kind of work out were you doing? I was working out. I was just, I was just, I don't know what the fuck I was doing, man. Standing up on the bench. Landed the wrong way, twisted right around, but it was stuck that way. My foot was like, kind of like sideways. It was fucked. Yeah, I remember that.

It's painful, man. I remember that. Let's see who got their born on, on remember that. It's painful, man. I remember that. Let's see who got their born-ta on. On June 23. Okay, Ricky, who is it? June Carter Cash. Decent. Nice.

Decent. Who was she with? I'm going to Jackson. Oh, that was, yeah, I know. Toni Cash. Toni Cash. Yeah. Good movie.

She was excellent. She was excellent. She could play. I wonder if your last name's Cash, if it's just automatically you're going to be rich. No, Ricky, there's lots of people with the last name Cash who are best poor. Well, they're stupid, then. With a name like that, you should be able to make money.

Why just having a name would allow them to all of a sudden be rich? It just makes sense. Well then why wouldn't you just change your name to fucking Ricky Rich? Holy fuck. Aw, don't Ricky, just forget I said that. It's got a good fucking ring to it. No, it sounds like Richie Rich, that snobby little prick from the comic book. He wasn't snobby.

Richie Rich? He wasn't fucking snobby. He was an asshole. Going around taunting the other kids with his money, wasn't snobby. Richie Rich? He wasn't fucking snobby. He was an arsehole. Going around taunting the other kids with his money. Wasn't he? No, man. He used to give money away to people, didn't he? He was nice. Richie Rich was? He was fucking a nice dude. Okay, I stand

corrected. I thought he was a bully. I thought he was a rich bully. No, we used to always say I wish we had a friend like Richie Rich because we'd be getting drunk right now on him. No, but you would. I thought that drunk right now on him. If I was Richie Rich... I thought that meant you would scam him. I'd take big bags of money... I'd fucking scam him.

...and I'd just drive down the street on a windy day, and I'd unzip her it, and just fucking pin her. Cash would just blow out everywhere, and people would be happy. And you'd cause a huge pileup on the highway. People would be getting fights over it. People would be getting out and fucking stabbing each other for the money. Fucking assholes. Accidents, crashes.

Why do people have to ruin everything? You know, I didn't know this either. Richie Rich, when he died, he turned into Casper the Ghost.

No, he didn't. It was the same fella. No, it wasn't. Yeah, Richie Rich was Casper the Ghost. Casper came up like way before fucking Richie Rich, man rich that was in a previous life

i thought he said he didn't believe in ghosts and he was reincarnated as richie and then he went back to how you know we're okay we're i need proof that is proof give me some proof i just told you no man you're full of richie rich he was not casper the Five Ghost. And Richie Rich owned Marmaduke. That was his dog. 1941? Robert Hunter. Robert Hunter on June 23, 1941. That was a fucking wicked video game. What was? 1941. You know the fucking playing game where you blast the fuck out of shit. I love that game. He was from Grateful Dead, man. I like Gorf.

Yeah, Gorf was okay, except I sucked at it. And Cheyenne. Do you remember Cheyenne? I remember that. Defender was a good one. I liked that one. Holy fuck. The Missile Command. We're getting drunk tonight.

Miles Goodwin was born on June 23. Decent. April Wine. Fucking April Wine. Oh, God, it's good to, yes. April Wine fucking April Wine oh god it's good yes uh April Wine oh

Frances McDormand she's good yeah Fargo yeah she was in Fargo that was that was a good movie I've been to Fargo

Chuck Billy Testament no idea Chuck Billy I'm stupid oh fuck Julian big one for you buddy Testament? No idea. Chuck Billy. I'm stupid. Oh, fuck, Julian. Big one for you, buddy.

Dawn Whiteham. Born in 1965. Remember her? What? See if this brings back any memories. Jesus. She's massive. Fucking body.

Oh, she's got her tits out. Jesus mercy. Look at those muscle boobs. I've never seen those. Those are serious muscle boobs. That's not a muscle boob. That's a plastic muscle boob. I've never seen a muscle boob. I don't know.

I'm not into that. That right there. I mean, I'd take a run at her, but there's no way. She had anus on the other hand. Yeah, that's true. Did it? Yeah, I get it, Bob. Who was that now, Don?

Don Whiteham. She kind of looks like the one that was on... She looks like the one that was married to Slots. Yeah, that's what Red... What was her name, you know? It was a movie, Red something. Red Don. Red Don.

Red Don. Red. Red. It was a movie. Red something. Red Dawn. Red Dawn. Red Dawn. Red. Red. It was the fucking, it was like Conan, man. What about now? Are you more attracted to her? You're real, yeah, real about it. What did you do to her, Ricky?

I put a penis on her. Yeah, she looks like the one from, what was her name? Oh, I know what you're talking about. Brigitte. Yeah, Brigitte Nielsen. Brigitte Nielsen. She was married to Leslie Nielsen, I believe, wasn't she? I thought she was in Teeing Off on Lundgren. Dolph Lundgren? Wasn't he Teeing Off on her or was that just in the movie? No, no, he was Teeing Off on her. You're right. Dolph Lundgren? I think she was married to Leslie Nielsen. Sylvester Stallone was married to her, man.

He was. Oh, yeah, that's right. He was banging the hell out of her. Sylvester Stallone, but I think then she married Leslie Nielsen. Sylvester Stallone was married to her, man. He was. Oh, yeah, that's right. He was banging the hell out of her. Sylvester Stallone, but I think then she married Leslie Nielsen from Naked Gun. Oh, man. They'd be a weird couple, wouldn't they? Very weird. Well, you never know. He might have been a wildcat.

Well, that was fucking... Wasn't a lot of good people born today, I guess. That's all you got, Rick? Well, there's some shit that went down, I guess, but who knows if it's fucking any good or not. Fuck's sakes. What is it? Just let me...

I'm going to give you the fucking... What do they call those books that make things shorter? Those notes. The Cliff Notes. Is it Cliff? Well, in the U.S., it's Cliff Notes. In Canada, it's Cole's Notes. Is it Cliff? Well in the U.S. it's Cliff Notes. In Canada it's Cole's Notes. Who's Cliff? Chubby Checker was arrested on this day back in 1970. For

marijuana possession. Chubby Checker. Yeah. He liked the reefers. Was that his real born name? Chubby? Checker. Oh. Well Chubby's a pretty fucked up first name as well. I saw his first name on his birth certificate was not Chubby. Could have been if he got born and he was like 21 pounds. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to name you Chubby. Fucking destroy your life with name shaming. Your mother would be saying, you just destroyed my box because you're 21 pounds.

Your name is Chubby. Chubby Checker. Chubby Checker. And you're all kind of checker is Chubby. Chubby Checker. Chubby Checker. And you're all kind of checkerboarded there. Oh, fuck. What? Alice Cooper, he fell off the stage in Vancouver, broke six ribs back in 1975. I hope he fucking finished the show.

Was he all banged up and shit back then? When? Maybe. 1975. Who wasn't banged up in 1975? Everybody was banged up back in 1975. He's a born-again Catholic or whatever the fuck they are. Doesn't do anything.

Here's a tune. Plays golf. A tune they used to sing all the time. Who? Charlie Daniels' band releases the Devil Went Down to Georgia. Devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for his old esteem. Keep going. Run, run, run boy, run.

Come on out, the rising sun. Get rid of everything, go, go, go. Solo. Nice. The goddamn CN Tower opened this day in Toronto. That fucking, and it's fucked, isn't it? Is the CN Tower fucked this day in Toronto. That fucked, and it's fucked, isn't it? Is the CN Tower fucked, like falling apart? No.

I don't think so, man. Is it? I don't know. I thought the concrete was all fucked up at the base. That's a different tower. You can't have a tower like that getting fucked up at the base. I checked it out last time in Toronto. It looks like it's falling apart. No.

Then you could do some work. No. Oh, fuck. I better Google that, because if it is... David Letterman show debuts on NBC TV daytime 1980. Great show. Is it Letterman or Letterman? Letterman.

David Letterman. This says M-A-N. I think he's the Letterman. It's pronounced Letterman. No, it's not. Man, men. So it's Letterman. All this time we've been calling him David Letterman.

He calls himself David Letterman. Well, he's fucking not very up on the English language, is he? Does he call himself a men, too? I'm a men. That's fucked. I'm so menly. We should try to get David Letterman on the show. Maybe he'd come on with a big beard.

He's got a big ass, like, crazy beard now. He's still one. He's just funny as fuck. I've got so much money, I He's got a big ass like crazy beard now. He's still one. He's just funny as fuck. I've got so much money I don't give a fuck about what I look like. There's nobody better though. Johnny Carson was up there too. He was on the booze on that show many nights.

Holy fuck. Dave used to have a snack. Look at this cat. Jamie Kimmel too. This cat named Hemi? Who? Hemi. Oh, I know This cat named Hemi? Who? Hemi. This cat named... Oh, I know about Hemi.

Fuckin' 1982? Yeah, he was a big... 39.7 pounds. Yeah, he was a big cocksucker. Big Hemi. Jesus Christ. It's a shame they shouldn't have let Hemi get that big. He's like a sumo wrestler of cats.

1990, police find marijuana at Chuck Berry's home. Chubby Jacker was over that night. No, a different year, man. 20 years later. Yeah, how about him and Chuck? Fuck! What, Ricky? God, I can still feel it every time.

What? What? 1993, Lorena Bobbitt amputates husband's penis. Amputates. I don't think amputates. Amputates is a good word. That's a nice way to say it. Jesus Christ.

Correct. Amputates. I don't think amputates. Amputates is a good word. That's a nice way to say it. Jesus Christ. She's not correct. I don't think, I believe hacks off would be a... I don't know if she hacked it though. It might have been one slice. What kind of knife did she use? Jesus. Hopefully it was sharp.

Like a carpenter's knife? One of those? Like a carpet knife? I think it was a steak knife. Like a serrated steak knife? Like a saw in action? I think so. God dammit. Like a serrated steak knife? Like a saw in action? I think so. God dammit!

Okay, so she sawed his cock off. I believe, I don't know if it was done in one of the- Or was it scissors? Oh, scissors! God, he's a Murphy! She should have used dental floss, I would have heard. Right around, like choking it, and then. Oh, dental floss!

Don't make it worse. Dental floss, or put a piece of piano wire on a piece of wood and twist it. Until it just comes through. A fucking pizza cutter and a cutting board. Ah, Jesus. Jesus, Murphy. Or just pinching it off with rusty pliers. Fuck.

Okay. How did we get on that topic? I don't know rusty pliers. Fuck. Okay. How did we get on that topic? I don't know, man. It's gross. Jesus. Or using a piece of paper and just going. That's the shit. That would be bad.

Paper cut. Paper cut it off. That would hurt. Cristleboard it off. Throw some vinegar on it as you're doing it. Jesus Christ, man. What is wrong with you? Salt and vinegar like a piece of fish and chips.

That would be painful. So he got off pretty good. If he just went and was off, he got off pretty easy. What are you talking about? I mean, she could have really, she hated the guy. He got it sold back on, too. Do they stay together? No, man.

Do you think they would? They No. Frankie. No, man. Do you think they would? They might be able to work it out. Mm. He'd be awful, an awful forgiving man. She's still in, would she go to jail for that? I fucking hope so, but I don't know.

Baby, I'm sorry I cut off your wiener. I'll never do it again. It's all right, baby. I guess you'd never be able to sleep again. She sewed back on. It's just a little Frankenstein-like, but it's good. You'd have to make sure every night you were getting along. Like, yeah, things were well lubed up. I'd sleep with a hockey cup on.

With a lock? With a lock. Padlock. Lock my wiener down. Yeah, you'd have to. All you'd need is just a piece of pipe. A piece of pipe on it? Something you couldn't cut through. Ricky, what if that's just going to force it to go lower on the base?

Cut more of it off. God. Jesus. Murphy. All right, we've got to talk about something else. We've got to talk about something else. There was mobsters used to do that too, eh? Cut people's wieners off and put it in their mouth.

Oh, yeah, that was the, no, the necktie was the... The Columbia neckties, when they slice you there and they pull your tongue out through there and leave her dangling. And then they ram a severed cock in your mouth. That's a bad one. You really fucking pissed them off. If they wanted to leave a real message, apparently they'd cut your wiener off and shove that in your mouth. Yeah, it wasn't their...

There was some husband and wife. They cut his cock off, made her eat it. Who did? Killed the two of them or something. Jesus Murphy. Yeah, they found his penis in her stomach. Hmm. Hmm.

That's payback. Okay, that's... That's fucking payback right there. Mmm. Mmm. That's payback. Okay, that's... That's fucking payback right there. Somebody pissed off. That's nasty. That is nasty. Oh, really? Oh, really? That's what you... Okay, well guess what? Cut his wiener off, make her eat it. And then kill the two of them.

Kill the two of them. You got some fucking serious... So we'll let you live. Just joking. You got some serious problems if you're doing that to people. Wow, I guess podcast got really fucking weird. Yeah, is this like a Halloween podcast? I'm going to bring it back to someone else. There's another rock group.

Remember The Knack? Yes, I remember The Knack. My Sharona came out this day, 1979. That's another song you used to sing a lot. Ba-na-na-boom-dum-boom-dum-boom. Da-na-boom-boom-da-na-boom-dum. Ba-na-na-boom-d da-boom. Da-da-boom, da-da-boom, da-da-boom. Mama! Remember you used to sing, my abona.

Yeah, that just drove me nuts. Yeah, you used to sing, my abona. My got a boner. No, you used to just sing, my abona. And you used to run around. Boom. Yeah. That's it, Ricky. Perfect.

Mama, remember when you used to sell pumpkins, too? Remember those? I did? I did, yeah. Jesus, boys, I think something's kicking in here. What do you mean? Did you have, did anything I eat have stuff on it, Ricky? Or in it?

Uh, did you eat any of the, uh, the cookies? Yes, I ate the cookies. Either a good idea or a bad idea? Aw, Ricky, for fuck's sake. It's fucking fun! Miles Goodwin was born today. But you put them in a fucking... You mean...

They were in a Chips Ahoy bag, so I assumed they were made by Chips Ahoy. Do they look like Chips Ahoy? No, that was a little bit odd. I thought they had a... It just keeps them on... ...mess fire to batch or whatever. It works better than Tupperware. That's why they ship them in those fucking types of bags. For fuck's sakes, Ricky, don't be putting weed cookies in Champs Ahoy bags. Now I'm fucking getting baked.

Holy fuck. All right, bubs, check this out. First extraterrestrial message sent from Earth into space this day back in 1974. Yeah. What does that mean? They beamed out a message. What do you mean, beamed it out? And it's still going across space. They're waiting for some aliens to get it. Oh, hey.

Like a letter in a bottle? No, they can send out, like, a message, radio waves or whatever, and it'll just keep going. What was the message? That was the message. That was it? Yeah. I don't know.

I believe the message was, Hey, can anybody hear me? It's Earth. But what if they didn't speak? Give us a shout back. What if they didn't speak Earth? Well. Or they don't have a machine that knows what radio waves is.

I don't know exactly what the message was or how they sent it out, Ricky. Hopefully it was a cool message. Did it work, though, do you think? And we don't know about it. They sent out, when did they send out Voyager 1? 74, man. Hopefully it was a cool message. Did it work, though, do you think? And we don't know about it. They sent out, when did they send out Voyager 1? Oh,

Voyager 1. Because Voyager 1 has all kinds of things on it that if aliens find it, they're going to be able to

figure it out. They put symbols on for where we are in the universe and anybody with half a brain can figure it out with distances

and shapes. What would your message be if you got to send it out? To space? Yeah. I don't need to send it out with distances and shapes. What would your message be if you got to send it out? To space? Yeah. I don't need to send it out to space because there's aliens walking around on the fucking Earth.

So I don't need to. What? I could send it out on the internet. You really think that? There's aliens on Earth. I guarantee you. And the people are hanging out with them? I believe, I believe, yes.

There's been contact made with aliens. They are on the earth and they are helping. Helping out with shit. Do you think they live like in a colony somewhere? Like a little subterfuge? I don't know the whole workings of it, but I believe they come and go. And that the government is working with them. Wow.

And there's a lot of evidence from people who aren't crazy, who are high up in space and NASA, who are starting to talk about it, finally. Wow. Wow. And he's saying there's aliens for sure, 100%. Robert Bigelow just said that Robert Bigelow So we're all gonna die

We're not gonna die Just cause they're from another planet, Ricky, doesn't mean they're hostile They might want our water Yeah, but what happens if these aliens are watching like fucking movies Like, you know, Independence Day or whatever the fuck it's called It's like, oh fuck If they find out who we are, Independence Day or whatever the fuck it's called. It's like, oh, fuck. If they find out who we are, they're going to kill us.

They're going to come after us. If they can get here and we can't get there, then they're smarter than us. Yes. They're way smarter than us. Do they come in peace? I believe they do. I hope so. You Google it sometimes.

Watch video. Are you saying that maybe even like today's technology is from the aliens? Abso-fucking-lutely. All right. Look at technology. It's going along like this. Black and white TV all of a sudden, boom! And then fucking the 1950s come and what happens?

Fucking zamble. Everything's coming down the pipe. Well, it's possible. I mean, they're probably keeping an eye on us going, these fucking dummies don't know shit. You know what I'm saying? Okay, they just fucking launched a rocket. The tall whites. I believe the tall whites are among us.

They just launched a rocket. We better get the fuck down there and see what the fuck these dummies are up to. Yeah. The tall whites live up by the North Star, according to Charles Hall. I wonder if we've ever talked to any alien before. We didn't know it. Yeah. Tall whites live up by the North Star, according to Charles Hall. I wonder if we've ever talked to an alien before. We didn't know it.

Probably. Just some tall people. Probably. I've met a couple of... I mean, look at Jacob, boys. This is what I'm getting to. Just look, take a good hard look at Jacob sometime. Well, he's got long, really long fucking arms and shit.

And Trevor, I mean, where, you know what I mean? They both bleed red. Don't aliens have different blood? That's just the Star Trek, man. That green blood. And you don't think it's odd that Trevor just vanished? He got sucked back up to his planet. By the mothership.

Why would they want to experiment on that? Fuck dummy. Why would they want to experiment on that? Fuck dummy. Why would they? Means a fucking experiment on a mannequin. They're not experimenting. He is an alien. I'm not saying they just wanted to experiment on him. They put him here.

He was probably garnering information from us the whole time. Yeah. He probably works for NASA. I hope he does. That'd be decent. That would be decent. Trevor, working for NASA. Yeah, I'm sure that's it. There's no fucking way, Bubs.

Look, we're... Very bossy. I believe what Corey said, and I think he got lost on the subway, and he's probably... I think he's got lost. Jesus Christ, this is fucking... Ugh.

I'm not a big fan of snakes. And now they're finding the fuckers hunting in packs. What? Yep. That would be fucking terrifying. Snake hunting packs? Yep. They used to be, you know, they used to hunt by themselves.

Now they're fucking circling you. Fucking coming at you and getting you. Who's that? These science people. Snake scientists? Yep. Imagine going through the woods and all of a sudden you're like, fuck, there's a lot of snakes around.

Pack of wild snakes coming at you. Jesus Christ, a bunch of cobras saying, okay, we got one. Let's circle this cocksucker and fucking enough food for all of us. Can they take bites out of here? It's smart, man. They're revolving. Jesus, Murphy, it's true.

So if they see a pig, it's like Tennell and we'll come over and fucking... University of Tennessee has documented a real-life case of coordinated snake pack hunting. No, fuck me. Where was this at? University of Tennessee. documented a real-life case of coordinated snake pack hunting. No. Fuck me. Where was this at? University of Tennessee. You're staying the fuck away from there, man. Jesus, Murphy.

He witnessed the behavior during a trip to Desembarco del Granma. That's in Tennessee? National Park in Cuba. Decent. So this went down. That would be terrifying. Happened in Cuba with Cuban boas. Cuban boas, also known as Chilobothrys anguilufa,

they hunt Jamaican fruit bats in sinkhole caves. Oh, so they wouldn't attack a person. That's what I thought, man. They're going after animals. They're just taking them down. Smart. How do they... Do they rip the bat in half? Say, here's your half?

How does that work? One guy probably fucking chomps onto him. The other guy wraps his fucking body around his neck and starts squeezing it. The other guy wraps his fucking body around his neck and starts squeezing it. The other person just starts eating the other snake. So only one snake gets to enjoy the... No, once he's dead, they... Full bath of his labor.

Boom. Full on. Hmm. What if there's like a leader of the pack of snakes? You know what I mean? The leader of the pack. That eats first. Ricky, why don't I tell you about chewing right loud on the podcast?

Chew with your mouth closed, man. You're pissing off Moon Bear. Fucking Moon Bear. Moon. Moon Bear's gonna lose it. Trying to fucking be quietly here. Uh, okay. All right, is there anything else?

Do you want to talk about anything else? I think we've fucking covered everything, haven't we? I think I'm too big to continue. I just want to have a nap. It's really kicking in, Ricky. How much weed was in that? It wasn't weed. What?

No. What was it? Ash. Oh, okay. No, that's not bad. Ten grams. What? How much?

Ten grams. There was not ten grams of ash in those cookies, Ricky. Tell me those were chocolate chips, those chunks. Go big or leave home. Great. Hey, you know how we're gonna spend the rest of the day? Is that why the chocolate chunks were chewy? No, no, those were chocolate chunks.

These were... Oh, man. You know what? I'm so baked that when he said that I saw... These were... I saw the letters come out of his mouth. And I understood it. These were...

I think another level just came on. Yeah, no shit. Yeah. You know how we're gonna spend the day? I'm gonna change my name to Bubbles Days Work. You know how we're gonna spend the rest of the day? Probably in another half hour? How?

On the ground, looking up at the fucking sky, not being able to move. Perfect. I got a new app that tells you when the ISS is going over. It's a beautiful day. You won't be able to fucking use it. Yes, I will. I don't have any energy. Boys, I'm starting to freak out. Don't start freaking out.

You should a little bit, because this is worse than I thought. It feels like I'm getting, like, heart palpitations or something going on. Boys, I feel like I'm... I feel like I'm in the 18th century. Oh, no. I feel like I'm a... 18th century. Oh no. I feel like I'm a British lord. Lord, but bum balls.

All right. Announcing Lord and Lady, but bum balls. Hey, we're going to have to listen to that for the rest of the fucking day. Yeah. Nice going, right? Yes, hello. Lord, nice going. Yes. Hello No, don't bumble

All right, I gotta keep I gotta go I got to do something I get some more booze in me I got a fucking let's play video games Yeah, we're playing video games Lord football Longfoot Bumble!