Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Podcast Episode 149 - Tanned Weiner and The Hot Summer Sun

Episode Date: June 25, 2018

it’s officially SUMMER!! To celebrate, the Boys debate the best ever summer anthem. Julian’s latest greasy money grab involves flying to Romania for an undisclosed amount of time (what in the f#*&?!), and Bubbles makes a prediction about the future of sex dolls! Episode 149 is brought to you by the official Trailer Park Boys Store, SwearNet.com (the only place to watch the video of this podcash), Liquormen's Ol' Dirty Canadian Whisky, and the Boys' own Freedom 35 lager!  

Welcome to the Trailer Perk Boys podcast, brought to you in perkboysswearingit.com, the only place where you can see the video version of this podcast. Nice one. And go to trailerperkboysmerch.com and check out some merch, buy some stuff, please. They sponsor us too. What about the beer and the liquor? I was just getting to that, Richard. Also sponsored by Freedom 35, Drink the Dream, and Leckerman's all-dirty Canadian whiskey.

And a new beer is born. Try my new Ricky's Catch-23 malt liquor. It's stronger than you are. Okay, boys, if you take note, that Bubbles procured the new snacks for today. Where did you go, man? Where did you get them? Very nice. Take a look at this. Holy fuck.

You're going to shit your pants. These came in on that other show, the mailbag show. What the fuck's a mailbag? And I stole them. It's another show they do on the swearing act thing where they sit in a big bag and people send them. Did Randy make these fucking chips? These are cheeseburger flavored chips. Cheeseburger flavored fucking chips, man. They're delicious and this came from Chicago.

Chicago. That is fucking good right there. Drive that into your shit locker. Oh, yeah. See what you think. That is cargo that is fucking good right there drive that into your shit locker. Oh Yeah, thank All right, nice moon bear. It's not gonna be happy but a lot of people saying fuck moon bear I noticed moon bear yeah because of the treats and shit Well, he was pissed off, but then a lot of people said fuck you moon bear Let them eat what they want. So We'll try to not be so loud.

Okay, listen, everybody quiet. Here we go. This starts the podcast. Oh, baby. Nice. Nice one, bubs. All right, what's up, fuckers? It's the official Trailer Prep Boys podcast

coming at you right now. What number is it? 149, my friend. And it's June 22nd, 2018. Look. And it's June 22nd, 2018. Wow. Look at you go. June 22nd, 2018. I can't believe.

There you go, man. The year's half over, Ricky. It's not. No, it is. It's June 22nd. Yeah, it's not even summer yet, though. See, it is halfway through, isn't it? That's fucking shitty, man.

Yeah. Seems like it just turned into 2018. When is the first fucking day of summer, by the way? It's pretty fucking late. It's the first fucking day of summer. It's the first fucking day of summer. It's the first fucking day of summer. It's the first fucking day of summer. It's the first fucking day of summer. It's the first fucking day of summer. It's the first fucking day of summer. it? That's fucking shitty, man. Seems like it just turned into 2018.

When is the first fucking day of summer, by the way? Right after the last day of spring, buddy. That's brilliant, man. I know that, Ricky. When the fuck is that? Who knows? Okay, thanks for the help, bud. See what you deal with on a regular basis.

Hey, Suri. Suri? Who's Suri? I'm going to guess it was yesterday. I think it's summer. Siri, that's me. It is summer. Siri, when is the first day of summer? Stupid. Summer begins June 21st.

Yesterday. What did I tell you? It's summer, boys, and we didn't even know it! It's party time! Right the fuck on. Woo! That's kind of crazy, isn't it? You asked about it and boom, it is summer. I knew it was yesterday. I was seeing if you fucking idiots realized it was summer.

The year is half over. I was wrong. The year is half over. I was seeing if you guys realized it's summer. Why do you think I got the new snacks out? Oh my god, we are getting extra fucked up today and tonight. The year is happening. I'm seeing if you guys realized it's summer. Why do you think I got the new snacks out? Oh, my God. We are getting extra fucked up today and tonight. Summer snacks. Summer party.

It ends September 21st. So get your summertime in. It ends when Ricky says it ends. Right. Right, Ricky? It's usually October at least. Summer's over October 31st when Halloween comes. Yeah.

All right, I'll go with that. That's the end of summer. All right, well, here's to summer, boys. Here's to summer. Let's get fucking banged up tonight. What's your favorite summer song, Ricky? We're gonna have the summer extravaganza today. Oh, fuck it. You know what it is?

Summer Lovin'. Boys of Summer. The Boys of Summer? Bob Henley. Or not Bob. Ron Henley? Don Henley. Don Henley.

Fuckin' great song. After the boys of summer have gone, baby. I used to crank that fuckin' cruising. Bam! Or however it goes. Bam! Bam! Fuck, I thought, fuck, you just feel so cool driving and listening to

that crank. How does it go? Bow, bow, how does it go? No, Ricky, that's, you're doing bow, bow, you're doing the tragic whip. Bow, bow. That's a good song, too. Bow, bow. Bell Borilco disappeared That summer 50 mission cap

That's a fucking good song. Whoa. See that crab? See that crab? Because I saw it. Slow motion. Oh my fuck. What's your favorite summer song, Julian?

Summer song? You said Summer Lovin' from Grease? Definitely a dance song. Summer lovin' Kittens or something That's an hard choice, Julian. Well, I did like that song back in the day. Everybody liked Grease back then, right?

Yeah. I don't know what my favorite summer song is, man. Surfing USA, Beach Boys. That's not a summer song. Surfing USA. You can surf in the winter. What's not a summer song. Surfing USA. You can surf in the winter. What's some other summer song? Summertime Blues, Eddie Cochran.

Ain't no cure for the summertime. Blah, nah, nah, blah, nah, nah, nah. That's a good one. Yeah, that's a good song. Not my favorite though, man. Summer. What about Summer, Summer, Summer? Why don't we just look it up?

What song is that, Ricky? I can't remember what it was called, but it was a good dance song. How does it go? Summer, Summer, Summer. And then I forget the rest. Really good beat. I don't even think that's a song. Okay, here we go.

What do you got? Summer songs. The 100 biggest summer songs of all time. Okay, there's a hundred of them. That's just summer hits. Songs with summer in the name is what we need. No, When Doves Cry, that's definitely not a summer song. No, man, you're fucking this whole search up.

Search songs with summer in the title. Songs. Songs in the key of summer. Summer. Songs in the key of summer. That'd be a good summer record. What is the key of summer? Summer rain.

Summer in the city. Beat this summer. Hot damn summer in the city. That's a good one. Summer Rain. Summer in the City. Beat This Summer. Hot damn Summer in the City. That's a good one. Summer Girls. LFO. Summer Girls and Summer Boys. Constructive Summer.

Summer Days. Summer Feeling. Don't know it. Summer Wine. Don't know it. Summertime of Our Lives. Don't know it. These areertime of our Lives. Don't know it. These are shit songs.

They are shit. Summertime, DJ Jazzy Jaff and the French Prince. That's Summertime. French Prince. Fresh Prince, yes. DJ Jazzy Jaff and the French Prince. That would have been a good show. That's, what's his name, Will Smith, right?

They should do a spin-off. That would be a terrible show. Summer Days, Bob Dylan. French from France. What is it? Will Smith. They should do a spin-off. That would be a terrible shot. Summer Days, Bob Dylan. Friends from France. What is it? Summer Days. Summer Days. Bobby D.

Well, you know what? That was fucking lame. That was lame. I'm not happy. Good job, Julian. Yeah, you suck. All Summer Long, Kid Rock and the Beach Boys. He played with the Beach Boys?

No, man. They just did the same. Foober, 30 Ways to Waste a Summer. The Beach Boys didn't do that Kid Rock song. All Summer Long, Beach Boys. That's a different All Summer Long. They didn't do the fucking- Oh, I don't fucking know, okay?

I'm just reading what's in front of me here. Kid Rock says, cause we were something, didn't think, and we were smoking funny things. Yeah. And it gave,, our favorite song. All right. You think the Beach Boys did that, do you?

Yeah. Brian Wilson would take a shit on that song. Five proud Hermes. Where would one go then? I'm not going to sing it for you. All right, because you don't know it. I do too. Go for it then.

Just a few fucking licks. Licks? I'll give you something to take a few licks off. Fucking technical. That was a good one, Bob. I know. I know what you meant. I'll give you that one. I meant my wiener.

I know. It was good. All right. Now what? If you had to make a summer song, what would you call it? Summer drinking. I'd call mine, Kitties in'd call mine kitties in the summer. Kitties in the heat. Heat kitties. I'd call mine tan wiener in the hot summer sun.

Under a hot summer sun. Tan? Boo? Tanning wiener. Booze and babes. Summer booze and babes. That's a good summer song. Yeah, that sounds really good. Summer booze and babes. Hey, that sounds like a summer song, man. Could be like an anthem to the summer. Oh, check this poor fucker out, man.

34 years this guy has been, you know, unable to burp. So he's been fucked up. What? He got some kind of a fucking... Buy some fucking gas, X-Buddy. No, man, it didn't work. That would just fucking stay down there. He could have had some kind of condition.

So rare they couldn't even fucking, you know, name it. They couldn't jam a tube in him? Didn't have a name for it. No? They could jam a tube in him to get the gas out of him. He could just put a drinking straw up his ass. I think it just came out the other way. But to get the shit up?

No, didn't happen. There's something not right there. The medical profession couldn't figure out how to make the guy burp? That's right. No, that story's bullshit. What are you, on the onion? No, it's not on the fucking onion. If they can remove things from you, they should be able to remove gas.

His larynx became so tensed up that it would prevent gases from escaping through his fucking throat. His anus? No. His larynx. His larynx. What does that do? His larynx. It's in your throat, man.

Is it important? You know when you chop Corey in the throat? Yeah. That's his larynx. You're telling me. That's his larynx. And that's what makes you better. Larynx Lewis. That'd be a good boxy. Larynx Lewis. No, that wouldn't be a good boxy. He's got a big target. He's a throat puncher. Yeah, larynx Lewis. Have you ever been punched in the throat? I have been punched in the throat.

Isn't there a cat, a wild cat called a Larynx? No, that's a lynx. It's a lynx and a car. It's a bobcat. And a car. Mercury used to make it. Maybe it's something different I'm thinking of. Lennox is an operating system for computers.

It's also a boxer. No, that's Lennox. Oh, okay. Lennox Lewis. I was just saying, Larynx Lewis. Ooh. Don't eat that, Ricky. I thought that was one of those weed candies. No, that's, um, no, that's a porcelain...

That's a, um, porcelain armadillo. I'm glad you didn't eat that, Ricky. Because you would have had to shut that out and it would have ripped you in half. God. So, Bubbs, how much do you think it would cost to fly the three of us to Romania? Well, just

look on Expedia, bud. I tried, man. I tried to look on fucking Air Canada. What's going on in Romania? There was no flights from Air Canada. They don't fly to Romania? Maybe once a year, but I fucking typed in a bunch of days. Well, that's fucking not right. Once a year.

They wouldn't have a fucking route that flies once a year. So Air Canada's picking favorite countries now? We don't get to decide where we want to go? How do you get to fucking Romania if you want to go to Romania? You get on a fucking airplane. Try it. Okay. Fucking try it.

Here, dumbass. This is because of the flat Earth. Oh, actually, you got to use one of those other sites, Expedia or whatever the fuck it is. Yeah, no shit, ding dong. All right, I tried fucking Air Canada. Well, that makes you stupid. Well, Air Canada's still a fucking fly there. If I was from Romania, I'd be pissed off.

That's what I'm saying, Air Canada. I'm pissed off right now. Flights from YHZ. That's our airport. YHZ. So while you're doing that, I guess we could talk about some people that got burnt on the June 22. John Dillinger, badass motherfucker. John Dillinger.

Yeah. You know what he was famous for, right motherfucker. John Dillinger. Yeah. You know what he was famous for, right? Robin Banks. His penis. Bingo. What? John Dillinger, apparently, you might have to verify this with Siri,

he had like a 21-inch wiener on him. 21 inches? And it's in the Smithsonian Institute. Are you kidding me? That's what the rumor around the town is. Hey, Surrey. That's what made him so fucking crazy. Who the fuck is Surrey? Surrey.

What is it, Surrey? I don't fucking... Surrey. Surrey? Just a sec. Just cancel that for a second, Surrey. Surrey. Who the fuck is Surrey?

That's a place in PEI, isn't it? Yeah. Yes, it's a place in British Columbia, too. Okay, Billy Wilder, Suri, how long was John Dillinger's cock? What the fuck is... It won't stop. Okay, there we go. How long was...

Sorry for being obtuse. That's okay. How long was John Dillinger's cock? You might have to say penis Siri Siri, hey Siri Siri Hey Siri Fuck you

No wonder she doesn't answer You don't know her fucking name Lindsay Wagner I don't know her fucking name You like her, didn't you, bubs? Lindsay Wagner, yes Bionic woman Bionic woman. Bionic woman.

Was it? Yeah, man. Yeah, man. No. Lindsay Wagner? Yeah, the bionic fucking woman. Oh, yeah, bionic woman. I was picturing Wonder Woman in my head. Meryl fucking Streep. Amazing. Meryl Streep. Best actor ever, in my opinion. She is a

good fucking actor. She knows how to act. She can act. She puts a clinic on fucking acting. Who's your favorite? Is she your favorite lady actor? She is, and Robert De Niro. Them two, Deerhunter, come on. Robert De Niro. Fucking throw it down.

I think she's better than him. Well, it's apples and oranges, Ricky. That's right. Two different types of actors. Graham fucking Green, speaking of actors you guys love. When did you want to go to Romania? As soon as possible. Let's leave tonight.

Whatever's, like, not that expensive. Okay, let's just see. Let's say we were going to go to Romania tomorrow, one way. Nice. Let's see here. Julian? How long are you allowed to stay over in a country like this? Like six months?

We can ask them. You can stay anywhere you want. You can stay as long as you want, as long as they don't catch you. Okay, there's no direct flights. All right, just get us there. There's a one-stopper, and it goes tomorrow at 10 p.m., and it's $956 Canadian dollars. It's $956.

Where do we get in? How far is it? We go leave 10.05 tomorrow night, but you wouldn't get in until basically 10 p.m. the following night. That's a long flight. Jesus Christ, where are we flying to? Oh, no, because you're at, no, it's different. It's only an eight-and-a-half-hour trip.

Fuck, that's nothing. Oh, no, it isn't. Sorry. It's 70... You got an eight-and-a-half-hour layover. Eight-and-a-half hours. That's no good. That's a bastard. Where's that at? Where's the layover? The layover...

We will be laid over in Frankfurt, the hot dog city. Perfect. Frankfurter, Germany. Eight and a half hour layover, that's long enough to go to work. Can we get a Frankfurter? In Frankfurt you can. Do it, done it, do it.

Stop being hungry first. What's the limit on your credit card, Bob? That credit card you got there, Costco one. You're not flying to Romania with my credit card. Get your fucking money back. I've got a $1,000 limit on my Costco credit card. Happy birthday, Graham Green. Happy birthday, Cyndi Lauper. She's a good one.

Girls just want to have fun. Oh, girls just want to have. That's all they really want. She's still kicking it. She's still, you know, looking good. She does the acne commercials. Freddie Prinze. Or the Roetia or whatever it is.

She's doing something, man, because she's got like nice skin and everything. Erin Brockovich got born today. Yeah. I thought her best movie was Pretty Woman, though. Oh, 63, Earthquake, John Tenta. Earthquake. He's the professional wrestler, you know him, don't you?

John Cena? No, man. No, the not-so-known John Tenta. Earthquake, yeah, yeah. Canadian guy. Oh, yeah, the Earthquake. He was a big motherfucker. Yeah?

What about him? He was born in 63, man. Oh, I don't give a fuck. All right, so we've got to come up with, what, another couple grand plus a bit of money for food. Why are we going to Romania? You never- Steven Page! Steven Page.

Bare naked ladies. Yep. Steven Page. I wonder why they never did get bare naked. I'm bare, just like Brian Wilson, dear. The first time I went to see them I just thought it was gonna be bare naked ladies on the stage. That's why I went. There was no nakedness at all.

Nothing. Not even a hint of skin or flesh. From now, Ricky, that's just a name. It's an odd name. It's just a name. I know, but it's odd. Bob the Drag Queen. Julian, it's his birthday today.

You gonna celebrate? Who? Bob the Drag Queen? Yeah. Is he like Bob the Builder? American drag queen, comedian, TV personality. Bob the Drag Queen? No. Is he like Bob the Builder? American drag queen, comedian, TV personality. Bob the Builder. RuPaul's Drag Race.

Drag Race. Season 8. You watch all that RuPaul shit. No, there's three cartoons. Is it a car show? Bob the Builder, Handy Manny, and Bob the Drag Queen. And they've got a drag racing show. No, it's...

What? I don't think it's about drag racing, man. That's just a play on words. RuPaul's Drag Race is not about drag racing show? No, it's, what? I don't think it's about drag racing, man. That's just a play on words. RuPaul's Drag Race is not about drag racing. Although that would be fucking awesome. That would be fucking awesome. I'd watch it. Put drag queens behind the wheels

of like 800 horsepower dragsters. Go for it, quarter mile. Don't teach them how to drive them or anything. Just let them go. That's terrible. Get this the fuck away from you. It's too addictive. Yeah, you guys got to tone down.

Pump the fucking brakes on the chewing. Oh, really? I can't. These things are fucking delicious, man. They are lovely. They are a lovely chip. All right, where's... What was the whole fucking point of this?

You've been full. Ten-minute Romanian joke. Well, there's a little place we got to go to. It's called... What is it? E-I-B-E-N-T-H-minute Romanian joke. Well, there's a little place we gotta go to. It's called what is it? E-I-B-E-N T-H-A-L. Ebenthal? It's this picturesque little village, and we should go there for a little while. For a long time.

Set up shop, and then leave. Why? Well, it's you know, it's a lot of stuff going on there. Like what? Is it the most firefighters per capita? Rick, I'll talk to you about this later, Ricky, but we should all go there.

Is dope legal there? No. Then not a chance. But it doesn't matter. Is there a Patrick Swayze VR experience? No, there isn't. VR experience. No, there isn't. VR experience. No, okay.

This village. Most gyms per square mile? No, that's not it either. All right, this village here, theft doesn't exist. They don't have a police station, theft. It doesn't exist. Everybody's happy and friendly, giving each other loaves of bread and shit. So you want to go over and just fucking set up shop?

We can set up shop. Well, it wouldn't be that difficult, and I think we'd end up making some money and having a good time. I could try it, I guess. Crime's up 100%. I wonder who it could be. Could it be those three fucking Lugans that just moved in?

No, we'd be able to get out of there, man. There's no police station. It doesn't fucking matter. Who do you call? it could be. Could it be those three fucking Lugans that just moved in? No, we'd be able to get out of there, man. There's no police station. It doesn't fucking matter. Who do you call? Nobody. Ghostbusters. But we're not ghosts. Doesn't matter, man. No, Ricky, I was just... Okay, anyway, we should do that.

We should take a little vacation. Anyway, we deserve it. We're not flying to Romania to rob the common folk. Well, lend me it. We're not flying to Romania to rob the common folk. Well, lend me a hundred bucks or a thousand bucks. On your credit card. Nope. I don't want you disturbing their pristine lifestyle. Pubs, would you ever bang a doll?

A doll? Yeah, like one of those sex dolls. No, Ricky. You'd get plastic burns. Would you? Well, you mean one of those blow-up dolls? No, no, it looks like a fucking... What do they call it? A real doll or something. Oh, the $10,000 ones that... How did you know there's a $10,000 blow-up doll?

We talked about them on the show. Yeah, right. I remember that. Real dolls, remember? Right. So how much have you researched these things? Well, there was a place in the UK, and they got in trouble because they had a new policy they tried to call try before you buy. No, they

don't. Yeah, well, they got in trouble because basically they had a fucking doll sex brothel. It was a blow-up doll brothel. I'm gonna make a prediction right now. Okay. As the augmented reality and virtual reality gets... Speak the English language, please.

Virtual reality, Ricky, where you put on the helmet and you're in, you know, like the... That shit fucking freaks me out. Well, it's getting so advanced, I'm going to make the prediction that eventually... Yep. I'm going to make the prediction that eventually... Yep.

There's going to be... You never have to leave your house? Eventually, there's going to be robots that you're banging and spending your time with. Would you bang a robot? Depending on not at this moment, I would not. No. But there is a chance that you would if it looks... In the future, I would. You No. But there is a chance that you would if it looks like... In the future, I would.

You don't bang robots. You wait till you see what's out there. You know what, maybe you should try the real thing first, and then come back to me when you want to talk about banging. Oh, I've had plenty of the real thing. Really? Leave me you. Leave you me.

Too much. So you want to bang a robot. What would the deal be though with a sex doll brothel? Like, how would you know it's all cleaned up properly? You wouldn't. That's the problem. No, but I think they have interchangeable. You just pop it out like a Swiffer. Throw it in the dishwasher.

It's like a little box box. No, I think they're disposable. You just pull it out like a Swiffer and you jam. I'm going to predict that hotels in the future have a doll in them, just like for the minibar. And you may not use it. You're hoping this is going to happen, because you would use it. You may not. You don't have to crack it open.

But if you do and you use it, then you pay for it. And there's going to be dolls in the hotel. You watch. Mark my words. Bubbles set hair today. So first they legalize marijuana, and next they're gonna legalize sex dolls at hotels. And you just call the front desk.

All right. Can you send up two vaginas and an anus, please? Tell me this, Bob, so if they did have these dolls in this Romanian little city, you'd be going tomorrow, wouldn't you? No. If I can arrange that, would you come? No, I'm just saying, that's my prediction.

That's my prediction. That's what you're gonna be sending up. I guess it's no different than a... ...any bar. ...than what women... They use that sort of stuff all the time. Yeah. I guess when you think about it like that.

But they don't really have those at hotel rooms, do they? No. Well, they'd have to have a different cartridge to put up there. It'd be a, you know, a big wang. Big wang cartridge. Back up into it or whatever you were going to do with it. Whoa, now. Whoa.

You're the one that wants to get into banging robots and dolls and shit, Bob. I don't know about any moves where you back up into things. I'm talking about chicks. Couldn't sound like it. Ricky, you're just full-on eating now, are you? Having your lunch? Those are fucking delicious, man. What the fuck are these? They're cheeseburger chips.

Jesus Christ. You can taste like pickles and mushrooms, mustard, Yeah, like it's a loaded cheeseburger chip. It's got pickles on it. I don't want them to make these anymore. No, they make them. They're dangerous, man. They're too good. Okay, everybody plug your ears. We're going to do a cruncher.

Okay, this will be my last one for the whole package. Okay, here comes some crunching. Not that bad. Those are dirty good. All right, I'm good. No more cruncher. Holy fuck, boys.

Buzz Pop cocktails. There's now fucking ice cream out there with alcohol in it. And you can get fucking drunk. Are you kidding me? From ice cream? It's ice cream. Yeah, we've been doing that for years. Just fucking cover it with Baileys. No, but, okay, holy fuck.

You get an eight-pack of these things, $99.99. 15% alcohol, 35 bucks to ship it. Fuck. You get an eight-pack of these things, $99.99. 15% alcohol, $35 to ship it. That's like an expensive buzz on, but I bet you it's good. Order it up right now. What do you get when you get eight of what? Buzz pops. What is it, buckets of ice cream?

No, it's just like a fucking popsicle, but it gets you fucked up. It's 15% alcohol. Buzz pops. How many do you get? Eight. Eight-pack for $35. So they're fucking like 12 bucks each. Or 100 bucks. Yeah, man.

It's not... We've been doing that for years, so... But we should try... We should be selling that shit. Holy shit, man. 75 flavors. Do you remember the lecker sickles I made, Ricky? Oh, man.

With the coconut flakes and the Baileys? Those were fucking good. I should make some summer lecker seckles I made, Ricky? Oh, man. With the coconut flakes and the Baileys? Those were fucking good. I should make some summer lecker seckles. Fuck! I forgot I wasn't supposed to crunch. All right, no more crunchy foods. What the fuck are you doing? Buzz pops. Lecker seckles.

Check that shit out. The frozen cock. Who wants some bub pops? I the fuck do. With a healthy twist. Party time. Buzz Pops. 100% all fruit. You're giving a free ad to Buzz Pops right now.

Oh, they're gonna, someone's gonna watch this, maybe we'll get some free Buzz Pops. Oh, man. Confused with Top Shot. Buzz Pops. Vegan? Vegan. You got that? All I'm seeing is T and A.

Lots of beautiful women. Less than 100 calories for a buzz pop. Chef inspired. Lecker sickle. They're just lecker sickles. All right. All right, sign me up. If anybody knows anybody that works for this company,

we need some buzz pops. Like, fucking send us to a party. We could get all fucking cranked up on buzz pops doing the podcast. And then go to fucking Costco or something and just buzz shit. Or, you know, see what you can get away with. That part sounds fucked, but...

Fucking total respect for this Florida man. He got pulled over at a DUI checkpoint he was drinking he knew he was fucked so he said fuck it just chugged the rest of his beer fucking awesome how many times have you done that love that guy you've done that at least 50 times I've seen you chug your beer in front of a cop that pulled you over well we should get wasted tonight, boys, and watch some fucking World Cup reruns. Well, just wait now. We got some emails that we're supposed to talk about,

aren't we? Emails? What emails? You know, the people that... You didn't even bring up... You had stories for today. You didn't even bring them out, man. You suck.

Or Randy Treverson, all right. Get a call, man. I didn't have any stories for today. He didn't even bring them out, man. You suck. Or Randy Treverson. Alright. Get a call, man. I didn't have any stories for today. I thought you did. No, you got all the stories. No, it's Mark. That chipper guy gave us something. No, I don't know where they went. Oh, there they are. Julian said it's all

this fucking stuff on them. Way to go, Julian. You dick pleaser. Fuck off. Redmond Teen and his fucking cat hijack a golf cart? No, that's not the right fucking story. Oh, fuck. See, I wasn't fucking

covering anything up. Doug Baird wrote us a letter that says check it out. Everyone has ooh, Jesus, Murphy. Look at those, Ricky.

See those? What is Murphy. Look at those, Ricky, see those? What is that? Look at those. What are those fucking things? Those are on your eyelashes. Right now, those are eyelash mites. Look, Julian, you've got those on your eyelashes. No, I don't, man.

Everybody does. Everybody does. Eyelash mites, look at those gruesome little fuckers. How big do they fucking get? They're microscopic, by the way. Oh, okay. Can't see them. You've got thousands of them on there right now.

I wonder if there's any microscopic things that look really cool. Yeah, there is, Ricky. Like a tiger or something. A microscopic tiger? Think about that. It might be a bug, but it looks like a tiger. Or it might gallop like a tiger. I, fuck, I don't think so, Ricky.

I really don't. Hey, guys, love your show, Real Kick-Ass. I run a backyard wrestling promotion, was wondering what it would take to get beat up by the green bastard. Thanks, guys, The podcast rocks. Gives me something to listen to, driving to work. How much for the green bastard to beat the piss out of this guy? I'd say, what, 700?

He could probably arrange it for 1,000. I think he'd get five. Maybe he'd pay 1,000. Slap the shit out of him. Okay, let's do that. A thousand bucks includes one, one patented move off the top ropes. Does that include airfare? Or an atomic elbow or a suplex.

Is he flying here or are you flying there? No, he's gonna have to come here. So he's gonna fly in and get the shit kicked out of him? Yeah. That's quite a gig. That sounds good. Ray learnt me about proper piss jug disposal. This guy says, I've always used piss jugs when deer hunting here in northern Minnesota.

This is Chris Shearer. Here's the thing, Chris. When you're deer hunting and you're in the woods, you can probably just piss in the woods. Yeah, that's probably the best thing to do. That's a good point, Ricky. No, the deer will smell you. It'll fucking scare the deer. That's what's happening.

I've always used piss jugs when deer hunting here in northern Minnesota, but I never knew how to properly dispose of them until watching your show. In years past, I would either empty them in the outhouse and then recycle the jug. Oh, that's great. Jesus. Chuck it away. Or I would set it up on a stump and blast the fucker with a shotgun.

Piss would spray everywhere. That's a good idea. My dad told me to stop blasting my piss. My piss jugs because my piss is highly toxic. I don't think it is, but most everything died in the blasting zone. What the fuck is he trying to say? What the fuck is he eating? Anyway, I learned from watching Ray

I shouldn't waste them, and now I spread them around. Why dump my pests on the ground when someone may have a use for it? Maybe they need to kill some weeds in their garden. Also, I never toss out a half-filled piss jug anymore. I leave them on gas station pumps in case someone needs to piss.

Wow. And then he sent a picture of his half-filled piss jug waiting at the gas station. This is what you caused, Ricky. Oh, my God. So you pull up to the gas station, you got a piss bag. A pee jug. Thank God somebody left a piss jug half full of piss.

Fuck, I got to use it. Give me that. Thank fuck. Let me ram my wiener in here. How do I get back away from this? Get that off there, man. Jesus. Dirty old piss jugs.

Yeah, dirty old piss. Oh, hey, just wait. This is Tim Webb. Remember last week? The guy who, the army veteran who got cancer and we said, fuck cancer? All right. This is him. He says, hey, boys, this is Tim Webb.

My wife, Bridget, just recently emailed you guys and told you that I'm a veteran and have a rare blood cancer. Just wanted to thank you for the shout out. It means a lot to me. Back when I was in kuwait afghanistan i discovered the trailer park boys i'd get back from going on convoys and just chill watching your show always makes me laugh and feel better after a shit day on the road and now your podcast do the same thing with this cancer keep up the amazing work you guys are awesome right on bs too bad i don't live by Sunnyvale.

Trailer Park, because there's one good thing about cancer. I get to smoke as much weed as I want to, and it's legal, and I can use some of Ricky's badass weed. Take care, boys. Tim Webb. He's turned negative into a positive right there. He is. He is. That's a good way of fucking doing it, bud. Yeah. He's fucking getting cranked up on the weed.

As he should be. Right on. I feel pretty good about that. Okay, well. People out and shit. Send in your questions to Corey. Corey Randy Traverson at Gmail.

I think, wasn't it? That's it, man. Good remembering. Good remembering. What show is that from? Alice and the Giant. Alice and the Giant. Who the fuck is that?

He just has shows in his head. He just went sideways there. Just leave him alone. Okay, well, I think that's going to do it for today, boys, because I've got to use it. All right. Something fierce. Should have brought your piss Okay, well, I think that's... I think that's gonna do it for today, boys, because I gotta use it. All right. Suck it fierce. Should have brought your piss jug, eh, buddy?

See the way I turned that and brought it around? Yeah. Came full circle, man. Brilliant. you