Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Season 4 Episode 1 - Live As F**k In Orlando
Episode Date: May 30, 2022Orlando, give it up for Ricky, Julian and Bubbles! The Boys go live for an epic one-hour podcast, with dancing, singing, liquor shots and sexual lumberjacks bearing Big Macs! There's also an appearanc...e from a special guest... F**KFACE!
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Ricky. I walk around him. I walk around him. Ricky! Ricky!
Holy fuck!
Awesome!
All right, there we go.
Check, check. One, two.
Check.
Can I get some slack on this fucking thing or no?
Jesus, Murphy. Bubs, just leave it in the fucking stand.
You don't gotta...
No, I need some slack.
I don't think it's gonna happen.
I need to have slack.
Oh, we have some people coming in here to help you.
Jesus, boys, I need some slack.
I can't be fucking restricted.
Stop saying slack.
I can't be restricted to fucking six inches.
Okay.
That's what your mama said.
Who?
Nailed you, bubs.
No, she never said that.
You lying bastard.
All right, how the fuck are you guys doing tonight?
Yeah, how's it going?
Yeah.
This is awesome.
That's a loud crowd.
I love it.
This is a nice little fucking crowd.
It's pretty good.
Nice and cozy.
What the fuck is going on here now?
What the fuck are you doing on stage?
What's your name, man?
A whore.
Whore what?
Whore?
Hey, whore.
Gotcha, man.
Julian, this is the guy you sold the expensive tech to.
Oh, fuck. Hey, hey.
Listen, Jorge, just so you know,
that was put up as a joke.
No, it wasn't.
What are you talking about?
I don't expect anyone to pay that kind of money to sit on the fucking stage.
This is a nice fucking seat.
It's worth every cent he paid for.
Jesus Christ.
Okay.
Nice.
So we got, yeah, we got a guy right on stage with us.
Jorge.
We got to find out some background here.
Yeah, see what Jorge...
Why in the fuck would you pay that much money to sit on stage because of him?
What?
Oh, for me.
All right, let's change.
There you go.
Right on, man.
So where are you from, Jorge?
Wisconsin.
I think we've met before at a live show.
Wisconsin, the fucking cheese state.
Yes, we met.
The last time we met, I lost the battle, so I won this time.
Nobody else bid me.
Okay, here's a question.
There's a question I want to know.
Ricky, what country is Wisconsin in?
Canada!
What country?
Yeah.
All I know is these heads.
Cheese, okay.
Green Bay Packers, baby.
They've got beautiful cheese in Wisconsin.
So last time he was at one of our live shows
and Julian was auctioning off his fucking drink glass
and he was bidding against another guy and lost
and he was pissed.
So he didn't lose today.
Well done.
I gave you a deal.
That's the last time that's ever going to fucking happen.
No, you gave him a deal.
I didn't know about that.
What the fuck is this thing?
Jesus, Murphy.
What was that?
It used to be a lamp.
What the fuck is it doing here not on?
Like, what is it?
Like, why?
Jesus Christ.
Why'd you have to do that?
Just don't touch it.
Your goddamn muscles are too big.
Fuck.
Everything you do gets destroyed.
Holy crap.
What the fuck?
Okay, it's super dark now.
Did it just get really bright in here for a second,
or am I having a stroke?
Bob, that was like a rush light stroke.
It got really bright, and now it's super dark.
As you can see, this lava lamp was $14.99.
I'm selling it right now for $10.
Anybody like it?
Who wants to buy a lava lamp?
Get the fuck up here.
$10.
We need some fucking light.
Jesus.
Jesus.
All right.
We're selling things.
I feel like I'm stroking out.
All right.
Well, $20 if you don't have it.
All right. He's got $5.
Anybody got $7?
$7?
Do we hear $7?
$7?
$8?
We've got $8.
Anybody $8?
That's a good deal.
$10?
$20?
$20?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25?
$25? 30. Do I have 30? Do I have 40? Do I have 40? 40, 40 bucks. 60. We have 60. Do I have
70? 70 bucks.
Anybody? 70 bucks.
70 bucks right there. Waldo.
I found you. Waldo's right
the fuck there. Waldo's got
60. It may not even work.
80 bucks. 80 bucks.
200?
200.
Who's got 200 bucks? All right. We're up. Waldo, you're at 70. 200 dollars. 200? 200. Who's got 200 bucks?
All right, we're up. Waldo, you're up.
70? $200.
80? Anybody got 80? 80 bucks right there.
80 bucks.
90 bucks.
Right back there.
How about a solid 100?
It's a piece of shit.
Shut up, Ricky.
It's worth 10 bucks.
100 bucks from Waldo.
110?
110 from Waldo. $110. $110.
$110 from Waldo.
Greasy.
Greasy.
Greasy.
Who's got it?
Who's got it?
Show the money.
Show me the money.
We're done here.
$120 going once.
We're done.
$120 going twice.
We're done.
Right there.
$120.
$130.
Fuck off.
That's what it's worth.
Jesus Christ, man. Fuck Julian, you're greasy. Okay, it's worth. Jesus Christ, man.
Fuck, Julian, you're greasy.
Okay, you got it.
Come on up, man.
For five bucks?
Come on up.
No, $120 a night.
Okay?
This is awesome.
This is going to be, he's going to be famous.
Yeah, let's give him a hand.
$120, man.
Yeah, thank you.
I hope it works.
So I'm sorry to say, all you people that bought tickets tonight,
all this is is Julian auctioning off shit.
Right on.
130, I got a tip.
Right on, man.
You are the man.
Hey, let's give him a hand.
Yeah.
This is why I love Orlando.
This place is fucking awesome.
Yeah, but all these people thought they were going to come into this big,
awesome live show
and it's just you auctioning off fucking garbage products for hundreds of dollars.
Hey, have you ever heard of Barrett Jackson?
Yes.
People watch that shit on TV.
I have heard of Barrett Jackson.
But you buy a good car.
But he got a fucking lava lamp, man.
Those things are...
No, no, Barrett Jackson's the old guy from the park that put the boots to his mother.
I'm not talking about that guy.
Yeah, he put the blocks to Julian's mother.
Okay, let's get going here.
This is kind of weird because we're usually in Ricky's trailer on Lots of Edibles.
What the fuck is going on?
Oh, right on.
Jesus.
Oh, yeah.
I ordered those.
I ordered cheeseburgers for everybody.
I thought that was Randy there for a second.
Pops, what do you mean you ordered them?
I'm pretty sure I didn't order them
from a sexual lumberjack though.
That's an aggressive wardrobe.
Jesus Murphy.
It's a sexual lumberjack.
Was that Jack Black?
Settle down, bubs.
I ordered those because I thought you guys would be hungry.
There's like 40 burgers there for my dollars.
I'm pretty fucking hungry.
All right, you know what I was going to do with these burgers there, bubs?
Let me guess.
Well, okay, get, all right.
No, they're to hand out.
I know, but I had other plans, but since the Lavalamp went well, I'm not gonna do it.
I'm just saying.
How many got, was the prices for food here fucking, like, insane?
I was gonna offer up some burgers at a better price.
You guys would have had a deal.
No, no.
I'm not gonna do that now.
I'm just gonna get the fucking things out for free.
They're just burgers I bought
to give every...
You know, there's people here that are probably hungry.
They haven't eaten all day.
These are expensive, expensive quality burgers.
No, they're just fucking McDonald's cheeseburgers,
but they're good, and they're warm.
How do I give these things out?
See, this is when we need Randy here.
Randy should be here
giving these. I don't want to
work tonight. You know what? Just walk down
the middle there. Whoa.
Throw them out.
Stop fucking around.
Walk down the middle and just start throwing.
Okay, you know what? You're up here doing nothing.
Get the fuck out there.
Hey, I want one of those cheeseburgers.
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait, for fuck's sake.
Give me one first. Give us some cheeseburgers. I'm not disturbing. Give me a fucking cheeseburger. Wait, wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. For fuck's sake. Hey, hey. Give me one first.
Give us some cheeseburgers.
I'm not disturbing.
Give me one.
What the fuck?
Thank you.
There we go.
Hey, right on.
And don't...
Hey, and for our security tonight,
you want a burger, man?
He's been doing a great job.
He's too healthy to eat one of those.
He's a man of...
All right, thank you.
Okay.
Cheers, man.
Oh, All right.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey.
You're right.
Get a fucking burger.
You talk to Horror Man.
He's kind of favoring
one side of the room here.
Hey, hurry.
Speed it up.
What the fuck are you doing?
All right.
Right on.
Let's go, Jorge.
A little faster.
Right on.
This is great.
Oh, man, I should have been cherishing for these fucking things.
Are you kidding me?
Yeah, you fucked up.
Just wait, boys.
I want to get a fucking lay of the land here.
See who's from where.
How many people in here tonight are from Florida?
From right here?
Holy fuck.
All right.
Okay. That was unexpected. See, this
is what I need to know. How many people
are from, not from
Florida, but from somewhere in
America?
Quite a few. Nobody over here.
Oh, a couple, but wow.
How many people from outside
of America? Anybody?
Oh, we got two.
Hey, he's from Switzerland.
Right.
Hey, right on, man.
Who's from Switzerland?
Right here.
Are you from Switzerland?
No, he's not from Switzerland.
He's not.
That guy is over there.
Fuck.
Cock sucker.
He's not from Switzerland.
All right.
Well, we're not from here.
So before we came to Orlando, I wanted to find out a few things about it
i didn't know that you're home to more than 100 lakes what a hundred
orlando and lake eola i don't know if I'm saying that right, in downtown is actually a giant fucking sinkhole,
which is 80 feet deep at the deepest point.
That's fucked up.
Jesus, Ricky, where did you get these facts?
That's an amazing wreck.
Do you know you can go on a computer and just...
What the fuck is wrong with this mic?
You're covering the... Here.
I'm covering shit.
Check one, two.
The antenna is not...
Check one, two.
Stop ramming it down your throat, Rick.
Check.
Just keep it up like this, Ricky.
Keep it up like Lemmy from Motorhead
and you should be fine.
Okay.
This is fucked up.
You look like such a dick now, man.
I feel like a dick.
Am I still cutting out?
No, you're just... Is that the drugs?
Just continue, man. Just go.
I think I'm on too many drugs.
I'm sorry.
Also, 66 million
fucking people visit Orlando.
That's more than any other destination
in the world. That's not that exciting, but kind of cool. That's a lot of fucking people, Orlando. That's more than any other destination in the world. That's not that exciting,
but kind of cool. That is... That's a lot of fucking people.
That's a lot of fucking people, but it's really lame.
Imagine if you could sell a gram. Ricky, since when...
You could sell a gram to every one of them.
Alright, now you're talking. Since when
do you come up with facts?
Alright, listen to this one. I had no idea.
To fund the demolition of
its old city hall, Orlando
enlisted the help of producer Joel Silver,
who blew up the fucking building for the opening scene of Lethal Weapon 3.
I had no idea.
That was a real fucking explosion, Bob.
Hey, North Fort Myers, motherfucker.
Okay.
Did you guys know this shit that he's saying?
Do you guys know about that?
Nobody knows this shit.
Nobody.
This is from the dark web.
Oh, my God. You don't even know, Ricky. All right, bubs. You're? Nobody knows this shit. Nobody. This is from the dark web. Oh, my God.
You don't even know, Ricky.
All right, bubs.
You're going to like this one.
The fucking Backstreet Boys, one of your favorite bands of all times.
I don't like the fucking...
They originated in Orlando.
They were named after the fucking Orlando's Backstreet Market.
Well, they can fucking stay here.
Yeah, Ricky.
Who here loves the Backstreet Boys?
Basically nobody.
And Orlando has one of the biggest
fucking McDonald's in the world.
It's called Epic McD.
I'm going to have to go there, I think.
Although we already have McDonald's.
That's once in one trip's enough.
How many more facts about Orlando do you have, man?
That's it, man.
What about famous people from Orlando, man? That's it, man. Well, basically, you know, that's a waste of time.
Okay, what about famous people from Orlando?
Julian?
Wesley Snipes?
You'd like to take a run at him?
What do you mean?
What are you talking about?
Okay.
I probably shouldn't have said that.
What do you mean he wants to take a run at him?
Like he wants to bang him?
He's in good shape.
Why would you say that, man?
This mic is fucked.
Drunk and on drugs.
This mic is fucked up.
All right, it's not just me.
He's starting to piss me off, too.
Do you want to share?
We can share mics.
I don't want...
Okay, I'll share your mic.
John Anderson, do you know him, Bob?
He's a country singer.
He's from Orlando.
Yes, John Anderson.
And Warren Sapp, Hall of Famer, NFL player.
From Orlando.
I don't give a fuck, Ricky.
Alright, we're done with Orlando facts.
Okay, other than that, I only have one other thing.
The cops arrested an Arby's manager down here in the US.
It's pretty fucked up. An Arby's manager down here in the U.S. It's pretty fucked up.
An Arby's manager?
They arrested him for having child porn,
and then they had access to his phone.
And when they went through his phone,
they found him pissing in the milkshake mix.
Come on!
Come on!
It happened, and unfortunately,
all the milkshake mix got used.
How many people drank his piss?
It doesn't have a number, but it's pretty fucking gross.
I'm not going to eat Arby's for a little bit.
So just wait.
He was the manager.
Correct.
And he got pissed off, so he was pissing in the milkshake machine.
Well, they didn't know what they found him, the child porn thing first,
and then got access to his phone.
That's fucked up.
Yeah, this guy says says welcome to the sunshine state
drinking piss at herby's jesus christ oh my fuck i fucking like her too we got the meats and the piss
herby's we got the piss. Irby's, we got the piss.
Jesus, Murphy.
I guess we got some questions here from people from the audience.
How the fuck did this happen?
Oh, I sent some people out to do some stuff.
Nice.
Okay.
How long were you in the swamp?
This must be a cocky question.
Go to the next one.
What the fuck do you have a suitcase here for, by the way?
I didn't trust one of the people at the hotel,
so I brought my luggage with me.
I don't trust hotel people.
It's fine, bubs.
You've got nothing that's worth anything anyway.
What the fuck?
Speak for yourself.
I've got lots of valuable items.
These questions are for someone who's not here.
What are they?
Let me see, man.
Fuck these.
Died in the swamp.
What the fuck happened in between the anime series in jail
that's a good question that was fucked up by the way thanks ricky
well what people probably don't realize is that there was some other shit shot
before jail that hasn't been released yet where we sort of come off the mushroom buzz finally and go back to
reality the jail stuff sort of happened after that but yeah we haven't shown that yet it's
fucked up it was fucking horrible man it was like living in hell when you think you're a cartoon for Oh, bubs! No, no, no, no, no. Okay.
Not fucking... Hello, Richard.
Not fucking cool, bubs.
Hello, Richard.
How would you like to get strangled, cocky?
Does anybody have an AR-15?
That's probably not a good thing to talk about right now, but...
Yeah, pretty much everybody in here probably has some kind of weapon.
Why don't you take a big fucking hydraulic sock on my wooden car, Ricky?
Okay, I'm going to try to keep my fucking calm here.
Apparently we have some questions for you.
Okay.
How long were you in the swamp?
Fuck face.
It doesn't say that, but that's what I'm gonna call you.
Well, it's really none of your fucking business, Ricky.
I'm not asking. This was someone from the fucking audience.
Well, they can suck my wooden cock!
Okay.
Listen, I won't tell anybody you got splinters in your lips if you don't tell them I got a wooden wiener.
What? Ha ha ha ha! in your lips if you don't tell them I got a wooden wiener.
You're gonna get killed. Donkey, just fucking relax.
You don't need to get grass right out of the gate.
Fuck you, Bubbles.
I'm not a big fan of this next question.
On a scale of one to ten, how fucked is Ricky?
Who the fuck asked that?
Jesus Christ.
Oh, yeah, great.
Thank you.
Ricky's beyond fucked.
There's not really a number you can put on to how fucked Ricky is.
He's ten to the fucking power of twenty-one.
Fucked!
Ricky tried to finger me one time. What?
I'm ju- What?
I can't control everything that comes out of his mouth.
That was too much.
Ricky tried to finger blast me at a party.
Shut the fuck up. That's not true.
I didn't say it.
You don't even have anything below your waist.
I don't even know how that would happen.
Oh, you tried to...
You're kind of fisting him right now, aren't you?
I'm not, Ricky.
I'm just sitting here.
I'm not doing anything.
Okay, here's another fucking question with a little cocksucker.
What happened when you drowned?
Why did Bubbles do that?
Well, I don't need oxygen to live, you fucking idiot, so I didn't drown.
I can't fucking drown.
Here's a...
You fuck yourself.
Here's a nice question, Conky.
Do you like boys or girls?
Conky, do you like boys or girls?
I don't give a fuck as long as there's a little bit of heat in there.
I'm smart.
I'll fucking pound on anything.
Jesus Christ.
Conky, Jesus Murphy, I'm going to have to deal with one? Okay, how did Bubbles fix you, Conky?
And I can't believe I just asked a fucking puppet question.
Bubbles has nothing to do with me.
I'm my own man.
I'm an independent sexual being.
Here's another question.
Give us a kiss, Ricky. Fuck off. Here's another. I like this question a lot. Give us a kiss, Ricky.
I like this question a lot.
Give us a little kiss.
Why are you fucking here?
Great question, whoever asked it. Thank you.
I do
whatever the fuck I want.
I've been traveling all over the
fucking world for the last
couple years.
And I like to, you know, I've been traveling all over the fucking world for the last couple years.
And I like to, you know, I was gonna have a travel show about...
I was gonna have a travel show about excellent cuisine.
All right, Bubz, here's a question for me to you.
But Reggie fucked it up on me.
Bubz, how many edibles did you take an hour ago?
Bubbles had two 20
milligrams and I had one
15. What about
those chocolate chip cookies?
Oh, and the chocolate chip cookies
which were 50 each.
Holy shit.
Why do you even care, Julian?
Oh, shut up, bubs.
With your big sexual muscles.
Why don't you give everybody a pose down?
Who wants to see Julian do a no-shirt pose down?
Nice.
I've seen it.
You have not, bubs.
All right.
Two more questions.
Who made your conky sweater?
Fuckface?
I made my fucking conky sweater myself.
Okay.
Do you ever try to kill bubbles in his sleep?
That's fucked up.
I would never try to kill bubbles in his sleep. That's fucked up. I would
never try to kill bubbles.
I love bubbles.
Don't I, Bubbies?
Don't I, Bubbies?
Bubbs.
Are you going to have...
Oh, my
Julian.
My handsome Julian.
Patrick Swayze.
You're so fucking sexy.
Roadhouse and fucking dirty dancing.
That's fucking nice, Bubz.
Why don't you put him away now?
No.
Yes.
How the fuck was there 20 questions for Conky?
I don't know, man.
It's lucky he was here.
Because that would have been a bit
of a fucking bit of a dud.
All right. There's no
more questions there? There were just
Conky questions. Are you kidding me?
What the fuck is wrong with you people?
Jesus Christ.
Okay, I guess we're done.
He's the fucking man they call Ravine.
Okay, boys, boys.
Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, fuck off.
Ricky! Ricky! Ricky! Fuck off!
Fuck you, Ricky!
Cock sucker!
Buzz. All right, Buzz, why don't you... Buzz, take the fucking puppet off your hand
and play a tune or something.
Just fucking relax.
You relax.
Everybody relax. Okay? He's fine. Just fucking relax. You relax. Everybody relax.
Okay? He's fine. He's fine.
Back to the podcast, please.
Is this a podcast? This is a
fucking podcast. We gotta do this shit.
How is this a podcast? I don't know, man.
I have no idea.
Is it podcasting out to anywhere?
I don't know. Maybe.
Is this fucking live right now? I don't know. Maybe. Is this fucking live right now?
I don't know.
Does anybody know any information about what the fuck
we're doing up here? Because I have no idea.
They just told us the...
Alright, do you guys want to hear
a tune by Bubbles?
That's what I want. That's entertainment.
This other shit, whatever's happening up here
is good.
What do you mean?
Why is it Skinner?
Did you say Skinner?
Rush?
Listen, the chances...
I'll tell you right now, the chances of me
playing fucking Leonard Skinner are about as big as the chances, I'll tell you right now, the chances of me playing fucking Leonard Skinner
are about as big as the chances
of fucking Julian taking a big lick of my nuts.
Pretty fucking slim.
Pretty slim.
I don't think I can play a tune.
I don't think we're equipped.
We have no amplification.
Check, check. I don't think we have any. Check, check.
I don't think we have any.
Okay, Bubs.
Okay, check.
If Johnny Cash was on stage right now and they said play a tune,
he wouldn't say, I don't think we're fucking equipped.
There's a fucking guitar back there.
Just play hard, buddy.
Hard and loud.
I'll take a second to get it ready.
All right. I'll take a second to get it ready. You...
All right.
I can hold the microphone while you're...
Fuck.
Well, that one's cutting in and out.
Well, I'll fucking hold...
Except this microphone's kind of fucked, I guess.
Unless you do this, I don't know.
Seems to be...
Fuck.
Seems to be better.
Seems to be better that way.
Let's do shots.
Oh, you want to do shots, do you, Big Pat?
I like that idea.
Are we allowed to give away liquor?
I'm not giving away any liquor.
You kidding me?
Let's have a competition to see who gets a shot.
All right.
What's the competition, Bubs?
That's a good question. Julian, you gonna give away liquor yeah fuck that what
but why why would i want to give away my precious liquor
for free like Like, seriously.
Just to be a nice fucking guy.
It looks like you got quite a bit of it.
I mean, I'd sell some liquor, but it's pretty fucking expensive at this point.
Considering you cannot get liquor from anybody but me right now in this room,
we're talking top dollar here.
Fuck you.
20 bucks?
All right, now you're talking.
Are we going to get into this fucking auction again or what?
Because I'll auction here all night
all right all right we got some other liquor we can give away oh really okay
oh look at this we got a little tiny little adorable bottle of tequila
what are you saying bubs what do you want to do with that? Well, you gotta, we gotta have some type of a competition. You can't just hand it out. Well, no, I already gave them all free burgers. What the fuck else? I mean, that's
pretty generous. And we got a bottle. No, no, no, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no. Back it up. That's a nice bottle.
Woodford Reserve. Yeah, back it up,z you're not giving that out?
that's good shit man
very very tasty stuff
I wish we had fucking liquor
did you guys try liquor mints?
oh fuck
you know we've been trying to get
liquor mints down here for years
it's a battle.
Let me tell you.
All right.
I mean, I'm not going to pull one out right now.
I have none.
Do you want me to try to mic this?
Anybody want a cheeseburger?
I'm not going to eat that.
Right here.
Okay.
Come on up and get it.
Look at this fucking guy.
All right, man.
That sounds nice, bubs Well, am I playing songs?
Is that what's happening here?
I think you should
Well
That song's not acceptable to play in this day and age anymore.
You can't even say the word whores anymore.
Yeah, but Buzz, people know that that's not what you mean, bud.
You can say that in Florida, can you?
Yeah, it's still cool.
Okay, will anybody be offended if he plays this?
Put up your hand.
All right, that's good enough for me.
I'm going to need 300 sign-offs.
We're going to have to pass around a thing
and everybody sign off that I am not offended by the word whore.
There's the sexual lumberjack.
What are you doing, bud?
You're just making a drink for yourself?
There he is.
All right. That happened. Have you guys ever seen a sexual for yourself? There he is. All right.
That happened.
Have you guys ever seen
a sexual lumberjack before?
Apparently,
they're all over the place
in Florida.
They're not.
Okay,
so we'll do an acoustic
unplugged set
tonight.
How about that?
But I'm not going play lecker and whores
right out of the gate. I got a warm up.
How about, how about Who's Got Your Belly?
Well, a word on the street I heard somebody say Is you had a real shit turd of a day
So I looked in my pocket
Guess what I found ten digits
Just waiting there to take it a time
A five-fingered...
Fuck!
I got a five-fingered discount coming your way I'm a fingerball wizard, I just give it away Fuck! Who's got your belly? Uh-huh Well, people got milk
And people got game
They're both risen
But they're not the same
When my baby gets my belly
She sets me on fire
The rod is feeling hard
It's cause there's air in my tire
When I get your belly
It's the show I care
Six packers, spare tire
Fully clothed and bare
Look for the belly
Well, don't be alarmed
I got the friggin' tubes
On the end of my arm
Got James Litter
19, he's getting smelly
No one's got your back
Who's got your belly?
Take it, Alex!
Alex isn't here, so this is awkward.
Alex Lace would normally play a solo here,
but he's not here, so fuck! Yeah, bubs.
Yeah, bubs.
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.
You got a problem and we're gonna fix it.
You gotta aim below the tits above the belt
just the right pressure so you don't leave a well line up single file you all know the drill
if the liver don't get you then the right one will you're looking for some belly work well
don't be alarmed i got the freaking tools on the end of my arm If you feelin' low, put my peanut in your jelly
No one's got your back, but who's got your belly?
Lookin' for a dirt and all that's open is the deli
No one's got your back, but who's got your belly?
If you feelin' sick, I'll get you feelin' welly-welly
No one's got your back, but who's got your belly?
Coke, down, I'm down, y'all, you're grabbin' me in the spelly No one's got your back, but who's got your belly? Coke, down, down, all the gravity in his belly.
No one's got your back, but who's got your belly?
Come on, yeah.
Yeah. Right on, Bubz. Nice job, Bubbles. Yeah!
Right on, Bubz.
Nice job, Bubbles.
Jesus, Murphy, that's not an easy one to play on an acoustic guitar.
All right, Tumper, how did you come up with that tune?
What?
What's the background of that tune?
How'd you come up with it?
Well, I was out on a date with your mother one night.
Why'd you have to go there, man?
Well, I'm just telling you the truth, and she got all garbled up on a bunch of your mother one night. Why'd you have to go there, man? Well, I'm just telling you the truth
and she got all garbled up on a bunch
of fucking liquor and pills.
Pills? Pills.
Oh yeah, your mother's a big pill.
You've never even met my mother, man.
Oh yes, I have.
No, she left when I was seven.
So you did not meet her. Oh no, she's been back.
Believe me. No, she's never been back.
She knocks on my shed door three or four times a week.
Do we want to talk about where your mother spent most of her time?
All right, let's stop talking about this.
Fuck off.
Yeah.
Yeah, fuck off.
Apparently Ray lives in a dump down here somewhere in Florida.
I haven't found him yet.
Ray lives in a Florida dump.
He does.
He has for years.
Does anybody know what dump Ray lives in?
Has anybody seen Ray?
I heard there was a site
in a trailer park in Jacksonville.
Paradise something
rather in Jacksonville.
Landfills?
Landfills, okay.
Alright.
Ah, fuck. No dumpies.
Thank fuck.
Hate those. You got seagulls down. Okay, we. Thank fuck. Hate those.
You got seagulls down.
Okay, we have seagulls too.
I think seagulls are everywhere, aren't they?
Fuck seagulls.
When we were in London, I actually got shit on by a seagull.
Shit hawks.
And I wanted to fucking kill him.
I should have had my 9mm.
Little cocksucker.
Seriously, man.
I want to learn more about
the audience and where they're from.
Okay, does anybody
who's got a really
fucked up story that happened to them within
the last week? Anybody?
I broke my toe.
Wow.
Broke my toe. That. Ooh, broke my toe.
That's not that fucked up.
Where was your toe when you broke it?
Was it up somebody's arse or anything weird?
No, it was on the floor.
I don't even know how I broke it.
Okay, that's all right.
You got Leahy drunk and you fucked up.
It happens.
I break toes all the time.
There's nothing you can fucking do.
You can't cast them.
It's fucked.
It sucks.
Somebody must have a more fucked up story.
This guy right here.
What's your deal?
I got a round for my wall.
God knows.
You have a what?
Somebody put a round on my wall.
Jesus Christ.
For your wall.
Okay, that's pretty fucked up.
Now that is fucked up.
Well, that's happened.
Do you know how many times that happens in his trailer when he's being a dick?
Yeah, but it hasn't happened this week.
So that's pretty fucked up.
Yeah, because being away, man. Well, I'm's pretty fucked up. Yeah, because we in a way, man.
Well, I'm glad it went to the wall and not you.
Jesus Christ.
That's very good.
That's fucked up.
All right.
Do you need a drink?
Because we have some tequila right here.
All right, come on up.
That guy needs a fucking drink.
He got shot at.
You had the shit scared out of you.
Hey, do you know who was shooting at you?
If I did, I would have shot back.
Nice.
Copy that.
Cheers, man.
You can share that with your friends.
Here, just wait.
There we are, buddy.
Let's hear it for him.
Okay.
Jesus.
Let's hear it for the guy that got shot at.
Nice, man. We don't want this for the guy that got shot at. Right.
Nice, man.
We don't want this now.
You had your fucking lips on.
He may as well take it with you.
Take the fucking thing.
You can share it with your friends.
They probably don't give a fuck about your dirty fucking lips.
You had your dirty old monkey pox lips on it.
Monkey pox?
What the fuck is that?
Monkey pox is the new COVID.
Oh, fuck off.
Yes, it's a thing. Monkeypox. Look it up.
I'm not researching it.
Monkeypox.
No, I can't deal with it.
Your mother has it.
I can't deal with another fucking pandemic.
I'm going to stop talking about it.
But she's only got it on the roof of her mouth.
Not on the lower half.
What do you mean by that?
Jesus Christ.
Bubz. What? You mean by that? Jesus Christ. Bubz.
What? You should probably drink
some water. I don't. I'm
allergic to water.
All right. There's such a thing
as monkey box. All right.
Everybody have fun at the fucking Megacon
today.
Nice.
Well, we had no idea we had this many fans,
so thank you for coming out to see us.
This is fucking awesome.
Yeah.
Sorry we didn't make it out for the...
We were supposed to be out here for a tour a year ago or so, weren't we?
Yeah, in the fucking pandemic.
Sorry that got fucked up.
So, you know, we've been pretty busy lately,
but we thought we'd come out and do these Megacon things and stuff, because
you fly in for the weekend, you fly to
Do you have any announcements?
Any upcoming new stuff?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a movie
coming out next year,
probably. We're going to shoot it in Sunnyvale
sometime this year.
Yep.
It's pretty fucked up.
It's a fucked up movie.
Is that everything, Julian? Anything else?
Don't be fucking... What? What else is there?
I don't know. I feel like I'm interviewing you. Is there anything else
coming? Okay, yeah, yeah.
Is there another season of that jail thing?
Yeah, we're gonna...
I mean, we were in jail again, so they
shot another season of jail. What about the
animation series?
You sound like Alex Zerbeck on fucking helium or something.
Now it's liquor.
Liquor and drugs.
Okay, we do have another season of the animated season as well.
Because they got a lot of footage of us in jail being fucked.
And then, finally, the animation ends and we come back to real life.
Yeah, so...
That shit we were on was fucked up, by the way.
We gotta explain this a little bit more because we were fucked up for a long time, right?
And we thought we were cartoons and stuff.
But at the end of the buzz on, we thought we were trying to save his fucking life
from a bunch of crazy fucking animals,
whatever the fuck it was.
It was like cliffhanger.
You guys ever see Stallone with cliffhanger?
Bubbles was doing that.
We're trying to save.
And then all of a sudden,
wasn't a shithawk?
Fuck off.
Let me finish my story.
It was a coy wolf.
It wasn't a shithawk.
It's weird how you brought up Stallone.
What?
Stallone, he is a good actor.
I respect him, man. Yeah, and you're attracted to him as well.
I'm not.
I'm just saying he's got a good physique.
He was Rocky, Rambo.
He's got a good physique.
He's fucking, he's sly.
He's a healthy motherfucker.
I wish.
I can't afford it, but I wish i could pay for you to have one night
with stallone and schwarzenegger hanging out drinking it would be awesome shirts off i'd even
be smoking cigars man shirts off fuck off freaky doing pose downs you had the biggest muscles
so anyway we fucking started coming to he wasn't in jeopardy or dying or anything. We were in a fucking...
You guys ever watch
Cuckoo's Nest? One Flew Out of the Cuckoo's Nest?
That's what it was like.
We woke up in one of those fucking hospitals.
Fucking freaking out. We got out.
It was a bad buzz on.
I think we were fucked up for it.
I thought it was a great buzz on.
No, man. It was not. I fucking enjoyed every
second of it.
We're gonna keep it going.
Yeah.
As long as you guys keep watching,
I guess we'll keep it going.
We're doing it.
You know, we're giving up lots of Clint Eastwood movies
these days and people approaching us from L.A.,
but we're staying the fucking Sunnyvale
and we're going to
continue the show for you guys.
Because we love you guys. This is awesome.
There's been a lot
of fucked up shit that's going on, especially
in the last couple years. People come up and say
that it helped them through it. That's why we do it.
A lot of people have PTSD these days.
Fucking laughter is a cure
to almost everything, in my opinion.
We've had lots of soldiers and stuff coming up to us
over the years and
they're having guys bawling their heads off
and saying
we're deep in the trenches, we're watching you guys at night
from over god knows fucking where
getting shot at
and it's keeping them sane
and to us, that's one of the biggest reasons why we continue
doing this
it's helping people.
You know what I'm saying? We've got a lot of
respect for people in the military and
first responders doing all that
bullshit, man. Like, people are seeing shit they shouldn't
have to, so.
Alright, that was getting pretty fucking serious.
Fuck all that shit.
But seriously, that is our biggest motivator, but
on a lighter note, let's hear some more
fucking music. That's all true.
Are you ready to jam again, or what are you saying?
That's all true.
Oh, I don't know yet, Ricky.
I mean, just taking in everything Big Julian's saying over there.
Thanks for listening to me, bubs.
You're welcome.
It's true, man.
You're welcome.
No, that's all true stuff he's saying.
I went over to Afghanistan to sing for the troops over there,
and it was fucking unbelievable.
It was unbelievable just, you know, seeing what they endure.
Is there any veterans here tonight?
Not a one.
We've got a couple of us.
Awesome, thank you.
Hold back.
I thought there'd be one at least.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
You almost got shot.
Sit the fuck down.
You got fucking shot in a double wide.
You didn't get shot.
That was just a drive-by, man.
That was fuck all.
They weren't trying to kill you.
It's probably one of his friends.
Yeah.
We didn't know about that, Rick. It was probably Uber Eats that was to kill you. It's probably one of his friends. Yeah, we didn't know about that, Rick.
It was probably Uber Eats that was shooting at you.
Yeah, passed out, ordered food, passed out, got shot at.
All right, bubs, are you going to sing another fucking song or what, bud?
Do you want me to sing another song?
We're getting serious here.
We got to, you know, lighten it up a bit.
What about, somebody earlier said they wanted to hear Kitties,
but I don't know if you're feeling that.
Oh, yeah, that's a good tune.
I haven't played Kitties Are So Nice in fucking years,
but I could try it, I suppose.
I hope you fucking are.
Let me just think for a second.
Kitties are so nice.
You got it, bud.
Come on.
Get them down, spin them around, do them.
Kitties, kitties.
Yeah, I could play Kitties Are So Nice.
If you want. I want some people dancing
though. I want a couple of dancers.
It's a romantic song. If there's some couples
up here, get up and fucking Walt or something.
Okay. Wish we had like a
spinny disco ball or something.
So I recorded a record in Nashville about
a month ago that's going to come out
eventually.
And it's going to be decent. And that's going to come out eventually and it's going to be decent and that's around a movie as well a different movie another movie about bubbles and the shit rockers
yes that's my band okay i'll play kitties are so nice you're gonna have to mic me up
and i want somebody if you feel like dancing this is like the eagles
this is like an Eagle song.
Kitties are so nice.
Here we go.
Yeah, there we go.
Some dancers.
Where's Waldo?
Oh, there he is.
Right on, man.
I knew I could find you, you prick.
Kitties are so nice.
Yeah.
Kitties are so nice.
Get them down.
Spin them around.
Tickle their bellies twice.
Nice.
Kitties.
Kitties.
Kitties are so nice This is a fucking party now!
I found Daisy in a storm drink
Covered in liquor and glue
I took her home in a feeder
Off with kitty shampoo
Kitties like to sleep a lot
They don't do much of anything
Every kitty I ever met
Likes to fuck with string
Kitties are so nice Kitties are so nice.
Kitties are so nice.
Get them down.
Spin them around.
Tackle their belly spas.
Kitties.
Fucking kitties.
Kitties are so nice
Every day I thank the Lord
And maybe Jesus as well
Helping me turn my shed
Into a kitty cat hotel
Yeah, Bob.
Kitty Cat Hotel.
Yeah, bubs.
That's brutal for bubs.
That's like Bono, man, from YouTube shit.
Kitty got so nice.
Kitty got so nice. Get themies are so nice.
Get them down,
spin them around,
tickle their bellies,
not once, but twice. Kitties.
Kitties are so
nice.
Yeah, man.
Nice.
Well done.
That was good.
I wish you guys could experience being in Sunnyvale, where we live, around the bonfire, all fucked up, listening in on the guitar.
It's the greatest fucking thing in the world, Bob, so I gotta tell ya.
Yeah. You gotta be
drunk, though, to really, really like it. Well, this was very
similar. This was similar.
This was like, we didn't have a bonfire, or, you know,
marshmallows and
six-paper joints and stuff.
But this was alright.
The after party.
Where's a good place to have an after party?
I like it.
That is awesome.
You guys are so fucked up sometimes.
Like some of you, not all of you.
It's just some of you.
Oh, my God.
Okay, so are we.
I didn't know there was children here.
Jesus Christ.
This is bad.
Is there children here?
Yeah.
Oh, no way.
Okay.
Just ignore everything you heard tonight.
So now he's leaving with his son.
I'm sorry.
Right now at the end of the show.
Love you.
Oh, there's two of them.
Sorry, kids.
At least we didn't throw out the C-bomb.
Was it not put out there? This is probably not a kid-friendly show. Ah, kids. At least we didn't throw out the C-bomb. Was it not put out there?
This is probably not a kid-friendly show.
Ah, fuck it. They're going to hear it in school, man. Yeah, I mean...
All kids swear these days. Look at me. I turned out
great.
Yeah, but you didn't go to
school, man. I'm one of the smartest people
up here, though. Those are like intelligent kids.
I'm smartlier than you.
You are not smartlier than me.
We got to have an IQ.
Let's have a smartlier off.
Go for it.
All right.
I already want to do it.
Bubs, we're going to have a smartlier off here.
Do it.
Do it.
Ask us a question and we'll see who's smartlier.
We're not doing this, are we?
And make it a question that Ricky might know
very easily.
I definitely know the answer.
Okay.
Here's a basic,
just a basic space question.
Oh, fuck.
I'm not good at the space shit.
You're not?
Juniper.
Ricky got it, Julian.
Yeah, fuck you.
I'm smartlier.
Juniper.
Ricky got it right.
I didn't even ask the question.
Okay, what does juniper have to do with space?
I was going to say what planet has a big fucking eye.
Big fucking eye.
Big eye on it.
And it's juniper.
Yep.
Bob's come on.
Which planet has rings around it?
I know this one.
It's a car.
It was an old car.
No.
Who the fuck said that?
Saturn.
Saturn.
Fuck you, Julian.
I knew that, man.
Winter, winter, turkey dinner.
Uranus.
Yes.
Uranus.
How is Uranus, Julian?
It's warm, isn't it?
I know.
It was not doing good earlier.
Stretched and raw.
That was bad.
Ah, fuck. Do you want a Oh, man. Oh, fuck.
Do you want a drink, man?
What?
Do you want a shot?
All right.
I mean...
I guess you deserve it.
You're fucking sitting up there.
That glass has probably not been washed.
That's from a second hand...
Do you want any mix?
No?
Oh, fuck.
You are cruel.
I will sell you some mix, though.
Oh, Jesus Christ!
Good job, brother.
Okay, I was not expecting that.
So we've got a fucking person sitting on the stage.
I'm going to actually battle that.
Do you want another one?
No!
No, no, no.
Do you want another one? See, this could no, no. Do you want another one?
See, this could turn into a nice little game.
Just hold on a second.
No, man.
We might get sued for this.
Fuck off. Here, have a fucking drink.
Okay, don't check.
No, I usually don't give a booze.
Jesus Christ, okay.
Okay, nice.
You know what?
What?
You should come to Sunnyvale.
I'm in party with us because you're a fucking beauty.
All right, you know what?
I got another question for you.
Would you like another shot?
Shut up.
Okay, I'll take it.
No.
You're not in charge of the fucking booze.
It's all part of the...
I was building up, man, in this game.
He's going to wake up in jail tomorrow or face down. Do we have any vodka
up here? Oh, is that vodka right there?
Yes. Tito's.
Didn't know that was sick. Who's your buddy?
Right there. I ditched him for this.
Say hi to him. Oh, fuck. He left your wingman
and came up on stage. Get the fuck up here.
You can get a shot, I guess.
Okay, sit the fuck down.
Your breast stinks, man.
No, no, he's coming up for a shot.
I get enough of that with Randy.
Where did he come up for a fucking shot?
You're overruled.
No, no, I'm talking about him.
Oh, okay.
Get up here, Jacob or Corey or whoever the fuck you want to be.
There, I need the bottle.
Hey, what's your name?
What do you think of your buddy?
He had to think about it for a second.
He went, uh...
He thinks his friend's a piece of shit
for leaving his wingman. I agree.
The money was alright, but
fuck, man.
I'm here because it's his birthday.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Alright. Way to go, Julian.
Well, happy fucking birthday, man. to go, Julian.
Well, happy fucking birthday, man.
Give me the bottle. Too bad you're spending it by yourself.
That sucks, man. Fuck.
And he paid to make you by yourself.
Give me the jack.
You definitely need a birthday shot.
You'd think he would have paid for you to sit on the fucking stage.
Yeah, this is fucked up.
What a selfish prick.
You know what we're going to do? Get the fuck out of your seat.
Let your buddy sit down.
Get over to his seat.
Get the fuck off the stage, man.
I guess you can still hang, I guess.
What the fuck are you doing?
What do you think?
Get out of here.
The sexual lumberjack's back, boys.
All right.
All cheers here for sure.
Happy birthday, brother.
Thank you.
That's right. Awesome. Good to Happy birthday, brother. That's right.
Awesome.
Good to have you, man.
Where the fuck are you going?
Oh.
I thought you were going to find your little friend in the audience.
All right.
What?
Okay.
I didn't know front row was like special.
Well, get the fuck up here. I didn't know that. Jesus Christ. special. Well, get the fuck up here.
I didn't know that.
Jesus Christ.
Did you know that?
Well, you knew.
You did this.
But why?
The front row is like special.
Yeah, I kind of just did that last minute kind of thing.
It was a bit of an adjustment.
Well, are you going to do anything special for them?
I didn't come up with anything.
So, no.
They just got the front seat.
They can see better. Holy fuck, man.
What the fuck do you want me to do? I gave out cheeseburgers. I don't know. You should have got the front seat they can see better man i what the fuck do
you want me i gave out cheeseburgers i don't know you should have gave well the front row for
especially should have got free cheeseburgers maybe some kind of a liquor drink eenie meenie
miney moe catch a tugger by the toe if he always let him go eenie meenie miney moe hey buddy
here's a bowl for you the baseball hat no you're next to you are you gonna sign it at least you won
that because you paid for the extra oh fuck you want a bowl from the fucking goodwill
you can take a shot too here you go all right you want a bowl from goodwill here's a clean
here's a clean glass or edible out of the bowl yeah thank you, people. Yeah. Yes. Now we got a fucking show.
Yes.
Yeah.
There's nowhere on the planet you'll see anybody taking a shot of Jack out of a wooden bowl, but here tonight.
That was fucking amazing.
I'm sorry you guys didn't win the Matt Mead prize tonight, but...
Julian, that was a fucking dirty old bowl from the Goodwill.
It probably had fucking...
He doesn't give a fuck
It probably had fucking bag hair
And fucking nut sweat in it
The liquor kills everything
Exactly man
He's probably going to go to the emergency room
Tonight with some kind of fucking infection
In his lungs
I think that was the highlight of my night
That was great man
That was fucking amazing.
Thanks, brother.
You probably should give something else away then.
What's this?
We have another...
We could possibly do a shot in that as well.
I don't know what the fuck it is.
Looks like it came from a castle in England.
That might be worth some money.
It's got some dust in it.
What's this?
A plate?
We could do a plate shot.
What the fuck do you want me to do with this? No, that's got shit dust in it. What's this? A plate? We could do a plate shot. What the fuck do you want me to do with this?
No, that's got shit all over it.
Does anybody want to take a shot
out of a little goblet
from England?
Alright, do your eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
Oh, yes. Actually, this is one
of the biggest events of the night right here.
The shot out of the England goblet.
Front row.
You can't keep it, do your eenie meenie
monimo oh it's got to be the ricky this is too much for eenie meenie it's got to be the ricky
shirt no tom arnold it's got to be tom arnold arnold he's not in the front sorry guys
he's is he from the sausage castle
Is he from the Sausage Castle?
I took a shot from a dirty old goblet.
Okay.
You were kind of exactly like Tom Arnold.
You know what?
That's all right.
There you go.
Jesus, that was...
I took a shot
Nice.
From a dirty old goblet
Are you doing this?
I took a shot
There you go, brother.
From a dirty old goblet
This is fun.
I never thought giving away liquor
would be so much fun.
This is a great time.
Awesome.
I've got an infection.
I've got an infection in my lungs.
All right.
You know what?
Now that Tom Arnold was up here,
can we tell a true story about Tom Arnold?
Yes, tell one.
I think you have a, well, we have a couple, actually.
One of them we probably can't tell for legal reasons
when he got stabbed in the chest
by his ex-wife for eating cookies.
But we can tell the one about...
Was it the Beverly Hills Hotel?
Or where the fuck were we having dinner?
He invited us for dinner.
It was the Beverly Hills Hotel.
This is fucked up.
With the sweater.
Remember the sweater family? Yes, tell it. Tell that story. I can't. I This is fucked up. With the sweater. Remember the sweater family?
Yes, tell it.
Tell that story.
I can't.
I'm too fucked up.
This is a true fucking story.
Who's telling it?
I think it's Julian.
I'm not telling it.
I don't even know
what the fuck you're talking about.
I'll start it off,
but someone's going to have to finish.
Tom Arnold was kind enough
to invite us to dinner
at the Beverly Hills Hotel where we did not belong. I didn't like anything. And apparently he did not belong
because it's like a private fucking club. It's too fancy, man. So we were having dinner
and he ordered the duck. Peking duck for 160 bucks. And there may or may not have been
a little bit of swearing and stuff going on and people were kind of
not impressed with our
table. But there was a family
there that had matching fucking sweaters
I swear to God, tied over their shoulders.
It was like the cliche Beverly
Hills most fucked up family.
Father, mother, two
children in their early teens.
Yep.
The perfect Beverly Hills family
with their sweaters on.
I thought it was a joke, actually.
The father's name was Chip.
And Tom Arnold's there
fucking eating his Peking duck
and he's fucking
ripping it apart.
By hand.
He picked up the fucking
whole duck by hand
and is eating like a caveman.
Yeah, $160 duck.
He's got fucking duck grease all over his forehead.
Big pieces of duck meat in his fucking hair.
Just all over his fucking face.
And, of course, the sweater family.
And he's there and he's, you know,
he's going on about Roseanne
and he's talking about banging in the arse
and all kinds of fucking...
No, he didn't say that.
No, he was.
Okay, I missed all that.
He was fucking going on very loud
about some, you know, some questionable topics.
Buzz, I think this is live.
And a couple of times, you know,
the father of the sweater family
gave him a, you know, looked over at his swearing
and gave him a couple of... hmm, hmm, couple of those, you know?
Gave him a couple of those, and Tom just sort of looked at him,
and he kept telling stories, and he's swearing his head off
and fucking going on about this and that.
And eventually he got a really big, hmm, hmm, from Buddy.
Then he stood up.
Right?
So then he stood up and he goes, oh, attention, everybody in the restaurant.
I just want to let you know, you know, be careful that you don't swear or anything so
that you don't upset the fucking matching sweater family over here tonight.
That was pretty awesome.
You had to be there.
That was the first 20 minutes that we met the man.
The second part of that story was...
Fucking Jesus.
Here we go, you're good.
Ricky, let me in.
The chef actually came out and was a huge fan,
which also really offended the sweater family.
Yeah, that was a good night.
That was awesome.
I don't remember much after that.
That was a pretty mess.
It was really good up until that point.
You pissed on the Beverly Hills sign that night, Ricky.
I don't remember that, but...
And a fax machine in the hotel room.
They were shooting the movie.
It was a Quentin Tarantino movie.
What was the movie with the pussy wagon?
Hillbill. Yes? Hillbill.
That was actually parked right
out front of the fucking hotel.
We were like, you've got to love Quentin.
That's insane. We just parked that
out front of the hotel. Pussy wagon.
Jesus Christ.
So yeah, that was a good night.
Alright, we're going to play. Is that thing
fucking tuned up or what, Pops?
It's tuned up, yes.
How did I get rooked into being the fucking
entertainment tonight?
I've played two songs. I don't
remember you doing a flex down at
all. Yeah, take off your fucking shirt.
Do something.
Jesus Christ.
I've got some organic
coconut oil in the thing here.
And I believe that you should get your fucking tits oiled up for everybody.
No, it's not going to happen, bubs.
Who wants to see Julian oil up his tits?
This is not going to happen.
Oily tits.
Oily tits.
He's going to oil them up.
Oily tits. Guys. Oily tits. Oily tits. He's going to oil up. Oily tits.
Guys.
Oily tits.
All right, 500 bucks to oil up your tits.
All right, don't start bringing money into this, please.
For the love of fuck, do not do that to me.
How much will you pay to oil up Julian's tits?
500 bucks. 500 bucks. No, no, no, no, no. Let's do it. You know what? 500 oil up Julian's tits? 500 bucks.
500 bucks.
No, no, no, no, no.
Let's do it.
You know what?
500 bucks for the oily tits.
Do we have six?
Let me hear six, 600, 600.
Who's got 600 to oil up Julian's tits?
He's going to pinch them.
Pops, can we just listen to you play a fucking song?
I'm not getting my tits oiled.
They're not getting oiled up by some dude with a Bubbles fucking jersey on.
Sorry, man.
It's not happening.
For 500 bucks, no.
Would you let him at least eat a slice of pizza off your tits?
For 500 bucks?
Yes.
No.
Not happening.
What about some shrimp scampi?
Ricky, shut the fuck up.
Come on, Julian.
That's called entertainment.
Bubbles, just play a fucking song.
We got to go.
I want to get drunk.
If he was eating french fries,
would you squirt some ketchup on one of your nipples
and let him dip his french fry into it?
No, man.
Ricky, why not?
Would you shut the fuck up?
It's 500 bucks.
Would you, Julian,
if you were wearing a Speedo,
okay, laying on your stomach on the beach.
Keep talking.
Would you let him put a dollop of mayonnaise onto one of your Speedo-clad ass cheeks?
Oh, man.
What if it was a thong? Why not?
No, man.
No.
Not happening.
It's got to be bare ass cheek
for 500 bucks
see I go through
this all the
fucking time
you're like
oh look
sunny bill
let's dumb it down
24 hours a day
what about
if someone was
eating a piece of
deep fried fish
a little dollop
of tartar sauce
in one of your
ass cheeks
or your tits
that's that's not that bad for 500 bucks.
All right, everybody, let's go to a beach
so I can watch somebody put a dollop of mayonnaise on my ass
with a piece of fish on my crotch.
Where the fuck he said?
And pay me 500 bucks.
You guys, who's got a bus?
We could go to the Epic McD.
Julian, if...
And people could dip
Chicken nuggets off
If somehow
If somehow
The man was able to wire
A bank machine
To your testicles
While you're laying on your
Front
Would you let him
Swipe his visa
Down your arse crack
For a 500 buck
Transaction
No man That was weird But I liked it oh no we're
stuck on this 500 bucks that's no man that's what about a thousand dollar
chance just one swipe which down your ass crack and your testicles are wired
to the machine would it be striped to the left or stripe to the right no no
right down the crack yeah but one side's side's going to pick up the stripe.
No, go down
like that. Put a piece of like
tinfoil or something or whatever you do to it.
If it doesn't go through.
Or it could be like a gas pump where you got to put
the card in.
All right.
Play a fucking song, Bob. That's enough.
I got to go. I got to piss.
I got to get drunk.
I love getting drunk with you guys, but I got to piss.
I don't know what to play at this point.
Liquor and Ladies of the Evening.
Do you guys want to hear Liquor and Whores?
No, no, no.
Up.
We can't say that.
It's Liquor and Ladies of the Evening now, I think.
I can't fit that into the melody.
I can't sing.
Liquor and Ladies of the Evening. I can't sing. Ladies and gentlemen.
Liquor and...
What about Liquor and Whores?
Liquor and Jorge.
Right over there.
Perfect setup.
Actually, that's not bad.
Liquor and Jorge, who's sitting on the stage over here.
Who has free liquor in him.
Okay, if I play Liquor and whores, nobody's gonna
get offended, right? That's kind of
a... That's a paranoid man.
Okay, and I want some
dancers. I want some dancers. Is that
politically correct? We got dancers.
It's not, Ricky, but we're gonna do
it anyway because we're in Florida.
And Florida doesn't seem to give a fuck
about the rules. No, they don't.
Freedom!
If there's somewhere to break the rules. No, they don't. Freedom! Florida's fucking good, man.
If there's somewhere to break the rules, it seems to be Florida.
Fucking rights.
Okay, mic me up, Ricky.
This is called Liquor and Jorge.
All right, here we go.
Here we go.
Liquor and Jorge I'm liquor and whore
Liquor and whore
Secrets and dope and mustard and bologna
Liquor and whore
Well I was down
Drinking at the beach I met a girl
she was nice
she was pretty and pretty
I want more dancers
she said hey boy
we should
do some marrying
I said sure
but before we do
There's something that you should know
I like liquor and whores
Liquor and whores
I said goods and dope
And mustard and bologna
Liquor and whores
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do Astrid and Pagone, let your hands go.
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
And then one night, down at the Legion She walked in, I was drunk on gin
Dancing with a lady friend
My wife said, hey boy
You better fly the fuck home
I said no, because of five little words.
But I swore I said to you, I like liquor and whore.
Liquor and whore.
Sinkage and dope and mustard and bologna.
Liquor and whorena, liquor and Jorge.
Let's hear you, liquor and Jorge.
Let's hear you.
Liquor and Jorge.
Sing it, Chantel.
Nice, come on louder.
In Florida, you can sing louder than that.
Liquor and whore here.
Liquor and whore.
Secrets and doves.
Liquor and whore.
I like liquor and whores.
Liquor and whores. Here we go. And horse, liquor and horse.
Here we go.
Cigarettes and dope.
Dope, dope, dope, dope.
Thank you for the gifts today.
I'm going to get high as fuck when this is done.
Love, Florida.
You guys rule.
Sorry, bubs.
Sorry, bubs.
Ricky, it's one serving of dope.
One is not enough, and people gave us lots of gifts today,
and I can't wait to try every one of them.
Cigarettes and dope.
Dope.
Dope, dope, dope, dope, dope, dope, dope, dope.
And mustard.
And more dope.
And bologna And baloney.
Edibles.
And liquor and...
Jorge.
Let's hear it for Jorge, everybody.
Liquor and Jorge.
Right on, bubs.
Yeah. Awesome. Yeah! Right on, bubs. Yeah!
Awesome.
Thank you, guys.
Just want to thank you guys for coming out tonight.
We're going to be here for the rest of the fucking weekend.
Drop by, say hi.
This is fucking crazy.
Thank you very much for partying with us tonight.
This was amazing.
Yes, thank you, guys. Thanks for coming and hanging out with us for an support. This was amazing. Yes, thank you, guys.
Thanks for coming and hanging out with us for an hour.
That was fantastic.
First time ever doing something like this,
so it was pretty cool.
And, you know, I just got drunk with you guys,
and it was fucking special.
It was awesome.
It was fucking special.
Love you, too.
Right on, you guys.
All right.
We'll see you.
We'll see you guys tomorrow.
See you guys tomorrow.
Party safe.
Don't get Leahy drunk.
You know what I'm saying?
Cheers, everybody.
And fucking be careful.
Cheers.
To watch the video version
of Park After Dark,
go to SwearNet.com
or download the
SwearNet Triller Park Boys app.
Fuck off.