Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Aisle Cruising at Home Depot w/Jetski Johnson - Ep 134

Episode Date: September 12, 2023

Thank you to our Sponsors: Nutrafol - For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off you first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com promo code: TRASH. Mood - For 20% off your first order and FREE dummies, go to hellomood.com and use promo code: TRASHTUESDAY.   FINALLY! Available September 12 Trash Tuesday Merch!! Available at http://slugfam.com/ or at https://trash-tuesday-store.myshopify.com/   See Annie on tour. Check out dates at https://www.annielederman.com/shows See Esther on tour. Check out dates at estheronice.com   Subscribe! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtonsOfficial Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8X Trash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday   Jesse Jetski Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jetskijohnson/?hl=en Jesse Jetski Twitter: https://twitter.com/jetskijohnson?lang=en     00:00:00 Trash Tuesday With Jetski Johnson 00:05:58 Have You Ever Tasted Breast Milk 00:08:37 Ass First 00:15:32 Jetski on Finding Independence  00:27:12 Let's Go Out.  I'LL Bring My Tecovas 00:39:12 I Want To Be Channeled  00:49:42 Home Depot Is Kind Of A Spot 01:02:49 AI and Adultury  01:08:16 Gen Z and Herpes     Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Rick and Esther Have a Time - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rick-and-esther-have-a-time/id1694264079 AnnieWood - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/anniewood/id1653515392 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: Real Good Touring Podcast Producer: Stella Young  

After years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers, if we've learned anything, it's that there's always a catch. So when I heard that for a limited time all Mint Mobile wireless plans are $15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan, I thought, where's the catch? But after talking to them, it all made sense. There isn't one. Mint Mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online. They don't have retail stores or salespeople. Instead, they deliver premium phone plans directly to you. As you guys know, our friend Rick Glassman, he uses Mint Mobile. I learned about Mint Mobile through George Kimmel.

George is a busy guy. He takes the most business calls. And the fact that not a single call is ever dropped. And you can use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts. Say goodbye to your overpriced wireless plans. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with plans starting at $15 a month. And all plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. That is such a steal. To get this new customer

offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint mobile for details you guys today we are so happy to have um let me see how can i describe you i think you're

probably the biggest muscle of bad friends i disagree don't fire me. I think it's Carlos. Slugs, we have the biggest announcement of our lives right now. Pinch yourselves. Pinch yourselves. We ain't dreaming. We are finally here today to tell you that on September 12th. The day after.

Oh, Annie, that's not relevant. You can finally get Trust Tuesday merch and it's so cute. We had girls, cool, awesome designs. Each of these are available at slugfam.com. Each of these are available. Just click the link below. Each of these are available. Just click the link below. We have, look, Kalilah and I are modeling them in extra larges that we're wearing as dresses. I'm wearing a small tank top, and it's my favorite tank top I've ever owned. I love it so much.

It's so cute. I wore it on stage last night. Everybody loved it. We're so excited about our new merch. We're going to be wearing it 24-7 because we can't believe it took us two years to get here. September 12, slugfam.com. These are so comfy, so cute. Cut them, crop them. And then send us pics.

Muscle shirt them. And then go out in the world and meet other slugs and talk about skullfucking. You know what to do. Wear us. Hey, sluggies. Welcome to our new set. We're so excited. So many fun things coming.

I am on the road as always. You can see me do live stand-up comedy in San Francisco at Cobb's Comedy Club September 15th and 16th. I'll be at the Comedy Store for the next Annie Wooden Friends September 20th. Get your tickets. It always sells out. I'll be in Austin, Texas at the Vulcan October 6th and 7th. I'm going to be in La Jolla shooting my comedy special October 13th and 14th. I'll be in Austin, Texas at the Vulcan, October 6th and 7th. I'm going to be in La Jolla

shooting my comedy special, October 13th and 14th. I'll be in San Jose, California at the Improv, November 17th and 18th, and Houston, Texas, December 15th and 16th. I am always adding dates, so go to AnnieLetterman.com slash shows for tickets. Hi, slugs. I'm so sad to miss today's episode, but you have a really fun one ahead of you. And I'm very excited to let you know I'm going to be doing stand-up over on the East Coast September 28th. I'll be in D.C., which is one of my favorite cities to do comedy in. And we sold out the first show. There's still tickets for the second show.

We just added it. And then September 30th, I'm going to be doing a very special show in Boston at the Wilbur Theater. And I will have a special guest with me. I'm just really excited. I can't wait to see you guys at these shows. You can get tickets at estheronice.com. For a limited time, Nutraful is offering our listeners $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code TRASH. Find out why 4,000 healthcare professionals recommend Nutrafol for healthier hair. Nutrafol.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L dot com promo code TRASH. That's Nutrafol.com promo code TRASH.

Order your THC products from Mood today. For 20% off your first order and free gummies, go to hellomood.com and use promo code TRASHTUESDAY. That's hellomood.com, promo code TRASHTUESDAY for 20% off your order and free gummies. You guys, we have Jessie Jetski Juicy Johnson on today. I have something to add to that. Jesse Jetski Juicy Ski Mask. Little veins. Was there another one? Tiny veins.

Tiny veins? Apparently. We did an IV thing in Kansas City. With Wes from The Challenge in his mansion. What's up, Wes? Literally in a mansion. And he had these nurses there and they hooked us up to the IV, and they had to keep putting mine in because my veins were too small.

Wait, they can use a little thing. A little butterfly one? No, no, no. Yeah, butterfly is easy, but I'm saying, like, there's a vein finder. A vein finder? Like a stud finder? Yeah. No, that's exactly what it is.

Beep, beep, beep. Stud. It's this little light that you put over, and you can find your veins a lot easier. I consider myself a stud finder. My mouth just goes agape when I find a stud. Wait, Juicy, why do you go by Jet Ski? Both of my nicknames, mostly all of them, they just sound like my name, Jesse. So I just I went to this open mic years ago in Arizona and they gave everybody like 10 minutes.

And it was this guy's first time ever on stage and he told this long story about riding a jet ski and he said the word jet ski literally hundreds of times and my friend leaned over and Jason Hill and he was like you should go by jet ski and that's just this guy's about to ride you for 10 minutes straight yeah but then I like went on Facebook and changed my name to Jet Ski and I was saying Kawasaki was sponsoring me and it was clearly a joke. Wait, but they still, no one's reached, no Jet Ski company has reached out like Sea-Doo or anything like that. No, nobody's reached out. What the hell? Honestly, this is a way to capitalize. If I was the CEO

of Sea-Doo or any of these other Jet Ski companies or Kawasaki, I would have already hit you up by now. It would be awesome. I'd love to sell jet skis at my shows. Oh, my God. Merch would be amazing. Yeah. And then if you. Come outside.

We're doing merch out on the dock. Yeah. You know. Meet and greet on the dock. You know what bad friends should do? Instead of having just a regular seat, they should have you on an actual jet ski. Oh, my God. And they should have one of the freaking jet ski companies

sponsor that or just give you one. Bobby could afford a jet ski. He can't. No, he can't. You guys don't know Bobby's broke? I didn't know that. Oh no, I'm going to get fired soon. Guys, Bobby's broke.

You guys didn't know? Go Reddit, go. Go Reddit, go. That's a great podcast name. That's my nickname reddit letterman have you guys um ever tasted breast milk from either a friend or a family my mom what i wasn't a kid um are you guys into that is there cause you know, like Esther has this like huge, huge desire to take it from the tap as an adult. I did not know that.

Yeah. But now it reads true. If you think about it, you go, yeah. I'm not interested. I, um,

we'll try anything. If you ask me twice. I mean, there are people who like, like there was this one documentary I had watched where this guy, like he searches and pays a lot of money for like, there was this one documentary I had watched where this guy, he searches and pays a lot of money for weeks and weeks supply of breast milk. That's all he does. But he wants it outside of the breast.

He doesn't want to suckle it out of the boob. Well, I think it reversed. He believes it reversed his cancer or something like that, something terminal. I feel like Todd would want to suckle breast milk from me. Kind of hot. Like he wouldn't admit it, but he would be really into it, I think. I feel like I drink oat milk, so if I'm not even drinking cow's milk, why am I drinking human milk?

But oat milk is so thick. Well, I mix it in. I'm not just like drinking it from the carton. Oh, my God. She's chugging it. Is oat milk still in? I thought oat milk was out. I just drink it because it seems like the most sustainable milk.

Oh, she's so healthy and helpful. You know, it's not sustainable. What? Jet skis. I know. Very bad for the environment. I got to make up for it in the milk department. Very bad for the environment.

I like the idea of you chugging oat milk, standing up on a jet ski. All right, let's make it happen. Let's do it. Have you ever, like, breastfed? Sorry, I'm still up. No, my friend squirted her breast milk, and I was shocked at the way it came out. Like a super sucker? No, it comes out like a shower head.

Yeah, it sprays. It comes from all corners. Whoa. And I was disgusted. I was like, ugh. I didn't know I would have that reaction. I was like, ugh. It was, like a shower head. Yeah, it's braids. It comes from all corners. Whoa. And it was, I was disgusted. I was like, I didn't know I would have that reaction. I was like, ugh, it was like on me. I was like, get this sticky mess off me. My mom told me that she's like breastfeeding a baby

is like, you feel so, she was like, it just feels so good. Like it kind of hurts. Like the baby will like bite you and stuff, but she's like, but you just feel so like like, where you're supposed to be in life. But then I also wouldn't breastfeed. So I was like, it was kind of a dig at me. You wouldn't do it? I wouldn't suckle that.

No. Have you seen my mom's boobs? No, I have not. Pass. No, I'm just kidding. Imagine if your baby just rejects you. No, I did. And my mom was like.

You're like, blah. I was like, blah. But was like but i was trying i was like born traumatically oh that's right you came out ass first i came out ass first they had to pop me out working out of there i told you i think i got to furconed by the doctor like he went in he went his hands into went into my mom's vag and mine yeah like a kebab he fish hooked me out. That's so funny. Lawsuit. And then you were like, I'm not breastfeeding.

I was like, psh. But my brother would breastfeed. I was like, Mom, what do you want me to do? Try now. Pull him out. Let's go, bitch. Would she have you both at the same time? No, because I wouldn't.

I had to be bottle fed. I didn't want nothing to do with it. At all? Like you never? I only liked my brother. I was born, I would cuddle in with my brother, but I didn't like to be held or anything. Because that's pretty epic to have twins

and just have one on each titty. Just hanging, hands free. Yeah, that's kind of cool. No hands, baby. Grocery shopping, getting things done. Her boobs are kind of like a roller coaster because one goes up and one goes down. Oh, how fun sorry mom um what do you guys i don't know if you've seen this viral tiktok but

there's this girl who basically is like super upset because she wasn't afforded the how do you say like i think she i know she's gonna say this is at me go ahead go ahead no this is definitely not at you because i don't even think you would agree with her no but basically there's this girl who's like hey like i should be um their concessions should be made to accommodate my time blindness she has time blindness basically i think she has add right and she's late for everything yeah yeah she's always late for everything and she calls it time blindness she has time blindness basically i think she has add right annie just late for everything yeah yeah she's always late for everything and she calls it time blindness and she was like this job that i you know applied for should consider that this is like a disability it's so funny to go in and they're like what do you want us to know about you she's like i'm gonna

be a terrible employee and i'm gonna go crazy crazy. That's so annoying. That's my biggest pet peeve. People are like, like so late all the time and they just don't respect anybody else's time. Oh my God. Can we have Jetsy off the show? I'm a little bit easier about time. Cause I grew up with Island time. So like time is just a suggestion.

You got time. She got time blindness. You have Island time. Yeah. I got any time she's got time blindness you have island time yeah i got any time baby but i i i feel as though like um i think it's just like cultural differences it is but but but if i know someone is like really a big stickler about time then i'm like on my shit like because i'm scared but um i try but it's like i just i like i can't believe it like i'll be like i'll get up so early like ready to go and then i'm like oh my god i like look at the time i'm like are you fucking kidding me me too i would need like an alarm going off like every five

minutes going like you have to do this now you have to do this now and i think i had to just i try to just accommodate other people in the sense where it's like if i'm late just start like with the show i'm like just start without me because esther's very like she has like anxiety around time starting like not that i'm saying she's wrong or anything but most people are like start on time yeah but i don't ever want to inconvenience anyone with my lateness so i'm like whatever we can do to just start so everyone can leave at the same oh yeah i've loosened up a little bit where i'm not like so anxious about getting somewhere late but it's just been drilled in to me as a kid of like you got it if you're what is the saying if you're on

time you're late yeah oh no yeah and it's still like i know it's like in a thing that i carry like it's not like the way everyone should be but i am like programmed like that yeah but it's more normal for that because people things need to get done true yeah i just hate when people are like let's meet at five and then it's like 5 30 and they're like i'm on my way and then they get there at six and they're lying they're lying about being on their way you know on their way means they're like wiping their ass oh yeah that's a very cokehead move i'm on my way i swear to god i'm on my way yeah like three hours later i'm on my way that's the worst to lie to people about where you are and oh yeah just be honest I'm late I'm like all right I'll go do something else my friend Abby lives like

there's no service like when you you enter she lives like in the hills in Burbank and so you enter the hill area and there's like one spot where you can text and talk on your phone and then you're gonna have no oh yeah so there would be times where I'm like almost there and then i would just stop and like oh i'm gonna like check my phone real quick and make sure i get everything done and i would literally be like oh my god abby i am like at your house i've been here for an hour i'm so sorry like i would just completely like get absorbed in my phone no i i feel at the bottom of her hill like it's so i'd be so pissed no she should be pissed but she wasn't and that's why we're still friends so I have really good grace of her of Abby and God I have really good long-term memory like I can remember things from ages ago like the like the most like the smallest details I can remember

but I have really bad short-term memory like five minutes before a meeting I could be like okay I have five minutes before I will blow it off and completely forget within that five minute timeframe that I had a meeting. Like that's how not present I am in the moment. I'm the exact opposite. Are you counting down those five minutes in your head? Yeah, and my long-term is bad, but my short-term is good. I feel like that's more important to have better short-term because you're actually getting things done in the moment moment i'll just completely forget in that five minutes i always have that

feeling where i'm like i'm supposed to be doing something oh that's anxiety i think i just started no no it's not putting my fucking schedule in my phone i've been i've gotten so good but it's only been this year that i started really using my calendar it's crazy like stella was asking our dates and i was like, do you know I have to ask two shamans? I have to ask my manager, my agent. Like, there's so many people I have to hit up about what is happening in my life for the next six months. You got that Google calendar?

I got that Google calendar, but for some reason my shaman doesn't want a trace. What? Shaman's not on Gmail? How does that work like is it is is a shaman more sought after if they play the game of tease like you can't have access to me only during ceremony and like do they that that is that a lore that they're hard to reach sometimes my shaman and i love each other if i didn't talk to him in between i mean it would still be fun to see him and stuff but it's like we love each other i do sessions with him i would love to see a shaman and I love each other. If I didn't talk to him in between, I mean, it would still be fun to see him and stuff, but it's like we love each other.

I do sessions with him all the time. I would love to see a shaman with a Bluetooth and like a Blackberry. Go for Jose or whatever. Go for, what would a shaman's name be? I can't say mine. Juicy, do you talk about your relationship at all, like on podcasts? Not really. I've started doing like talk, doing jokes about it now and on

tour you know we do like a room with thousands of people and i'd be like i don't talk about it on the podcast but i'll tell you guys since it's just that yeah yeah it's like 3 000 people but but yeah i've been slowly talking about it now and uh yeah can we talk about that you're you're single yeah i've been single for quite a while now so it's fine to talk about I'm not really looking to date though but that's a really good move yeah yeah really good move I think that's like been the most valuable thing I can't say valuable you already know that I love it um but it's like being alone is so kind of intoxicating oh my god it's so much time and fun and you don't have to worry about nothing.

Yeah. I mean, you guys were together for a long time. Like, what was it like? Like, did it feel like grim? Well, Annie knows like we so he's a great guy. Great heart and everything. It just kind of moved like platonic. So I can relate to that.

Yeah. So it was like we were just kind of became roommates, but we still love each other. Yeah, so it was like we just kind of became roommates, but we still love each other. But we were also in a really bad situation, living situation, because we, you know, I mean, I call it like it was like a trap house. There was like a lot of drugs going in and out. You lived in a crack den with several people.

It was like infested. It was just like five other dudes living there, and then other people would come in and out too and crash on the couch or in the shed. there's just no privacy or anything yeah i felt like i felt like i i don't want to say i felt like a prisoner because i think that's extremely disrespectful to prisoners to prisoners right to australians to australians and i know there's one in the building but i i didn't like living there. So I had to get out. Yeah.

But he was kind of, you know, we were struggling comics. And we both, like, helped each other. And it was cheap to live there. And we kind of were on food stamps at the same time at one point. And I remember, like, one time using my food stamps to get us a sandwich. But I didn't have enough. And so he, like, covered the other dollar. Oh, so romantic. That is romantic split the sandwich in like a parking lot and like we have like all those struggling moments together that will kind of bond us forever but uh but yeah now I it's hard to adjust to my new reality well you

have a bad long-term memory so you'll forget about him soon yeah a couple years it's scary because you're right sandwich but now yeah now I'm, I wake up and I'm in this beautiful apartment and it's like clean and I feel, I'm like adjusting to feeling successful because for so long I've not been. And it's hard for, it was hard for a while to even say that. Yeah. You know, you don't want to be like, oh, you have an ego or whatever. But like for me and how far I've come, like I feel very successful now. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you don't want to be like, oh, you have an ego or whatever. But like for me and how far I've come, like I feel very successful now. Yeah. Yeah. And it feels great. And you

should. Yeah. Yeah. But that's a great feeling, though, to have your own space finally and to kind of. And it like aligned well, like you found the right place. It wasn't hard to get. It was like everything worked out. Oh, yeah. Well, I've been looking for like a like over a year, like on Zillow is like my porn. I would every night fall asleep just scrolling through like houses everything worked out oh yeah well i've been looking for like a like over a year like on zillow it's like my porn i would every night fall asleep just scrolling through like houses and dreaming and finally i just had to do it and i saved up all this money from working at the comedy store and i like it literally took everything i had saved to get the deposit and it was just like a gambling move and as soon as I got in we did the bad

friends tour and that financially set me up to like keep living there and now I'm headlining and finding other ways to be independent financially yeah congrats oh yeah thank you yeah I owe a lot to them and like uh it really feels sometimes like it saved my life yeah my situation yeah yeah yeah i i remember when bobby um first talked about you well before you even did bad friends but he always had like an affinity for you he always remind him about it he's lost it well he's broke now you're the rich one yeah is that what we're trying to go with he's broke i think I think he gets... He buys me snacks. We bonded over the tour, and I think he's kind of just trying to keep me in an employee space instead of, like, a friend space.

Actually, I think you're wrong. Really? If he's trying to do that, or if you feel like he's giving you, like, negative attention, it's probably you've entered the family space. Oh, that's great well he calls me his daughter all the time yeah and also a lot of times he accidentally calls me jules yeah you know like do you realize how much he terrorizes jules yeah you're right there is not

like a real i've never had i've never seen them have a sweet moment it's like pure terror oh that's my future yeah so that's i think you're just family space now well they paid me really good on the tour and i spent way too much money but i wanted to thank them and so at the end of the tour we were at this hotel and bobby was sitting on the luggage cart and this guy is like he was so scared excuse me can i can i get that cart and bobby stands up really fast and his fanny pack is wide open and all his stuff falls out and this bottle of cologne shatters and he's in the class and he's like that was a $300 bottle of cologne and then we went to New York and I saw that cologne I like I kind of played it down I

was like oh my god what what was it and he told me and then I looked it up and they had that store right by our hotel in New York City. Which one was it? I'd have to look it up. Is it Le Labo? Yeah. Yeah. And it was like,

he's a $300 and so it was like way too much money to spend but I was like, they took me on this 33 shows, you know, whatever. So I went and I got him

the bottle of cologne and he was really upset about it. He probably, well, he's never gonna watch this so I think it's alright. He probably, well, he's never going to watch this. So I think it's all right. He probably killed me for saying that story because I've never said it. That's so cute. But he was like, never, ever do that.

You know, I think it came from a place of like, he didn't want me spending my money on him. Exactly. But I was like so excited. That's so sweet. That's such a good present. I love a present where you like, you scheme a little behind the scenes. Yeah. All day I was like excited excited. That's such a good present. I love a present where you like, you scheme a little behind the scenes. Yeah.

I was like excited. I love how you're like that. You always send me like the sweetest text messages and stuff. They always come to me like so randomly. It's like, yeah. Oh yeah. It should always be sweet.

Yeah. I learned my lesson. I'll take presents, but I love them to death, you know? And so it's like, I just, it's just funny to be like, okay, just don't show it. Yeah. Like maybe reserve it only for his birthday.

Cause he gets real bratty on his birthday. Like if you don't get him a great gift, you will get called out. No, your present's perfect. That's so good. That's a good instinct. Don't waste it on him anymore. Yeah. No, your present's perfect. That's so good. That's a good instinct. Don't waste it on him anymore. Yeah, don't waste it on him. But on his birthday,

if you show up empty-handed, he will remember that and he will hold you to that. He's so confusing. But on his birthday, he just turns into like, everyone should give me everything. I went to his birthday party

at that restaurant. Oh, that's right. That was fun. Yeah, his 50th. That was cool. That was really fun. I think Esther was so high. She was so high.

She was such a delighter. She broke her vegan diet and ate beef all night. She was just so high. She was like, what is that? I was like, beef, you can't have this. She's like, yeah, I can. Oh, my God. Thank God she broke that vegan diet.

I was like, well, you're at Korean barbecue spot, so this is the perfect place. You're going to have a lot of pickled things if you don't have that. You're going to be eating pickled stuff. Your show was so fun, by the way. That's when i last texted you oh the show anyone in friends yeah two shows at the comedy store sold both sold out yeah that was so fun annie pays really well but it was really great and then all those people from that reality show were in the green room and yes oh the yeah jetski has come with me on so many like challenge hangs and has never watched the challenge I've never seen it. What's to it's like insane. There's so much it's like been on for 20 years or more

Yeah, do you watch it? Yeah, I used to in the early years So all of Annie's I not the newer cast like the newer guys. I don't know but like the old school Well, they bring them back. I know You know CT. Yeah, all those guys CT we. I know, you know, CT. I know all those guys. CT. We got to get CT. We need CT and Johnny Bananas. We're coming for you.

Tori. Come on, Tori. We're meant to be. But who's Tori? Tori is like she. Okay. So she used to be engaged to Jordan, who was at the Annie and Friends show. Jordan did my podcast.

Jordan was born with one hand. He is. He wins everything. He won a tug-of-war contest with a man with two hands yeah he's smart so like he was watching he watched for like the tell of when the guy was gonna pull yeah and then he would give slack so he would fall off the back like he's just smarter and better than literally everyone and he beats beats every two handed person. He even like one, one challenge. They,

he went skydiving. They made them skydive and his parachute didn't work. And he broke, like he basically broke his knee in the beginning of the challenge and he still won. He just is so unbelievable. So we had him on, um,

Annie wood and he, um, we like, he wouldn't leave. Like and i were like we cannot believe how long this person is here he was like when are we going out to eat so we just like have a jordan now like jordan comes to all of our stuff and him and todd are so loud they get wasted and they're screaming the green room was so loud it was like you're like guys they can hear you you're so good at like you're like we're late it's loud i'm always like i know i'm such a nerd but they

We're late. It's loud. I know. I'm such a nerd. But also, a bunch of drinks were spilled. So the ground was really sticky. It was sticky. It was crazy.

Jordan's always wearing a cowboy hat and overalls that are down. But he's so cute. He's so awesome. It was wild. But yeah, those shows were really fun. I wanted to set him up with Whitney before she got. What does he look like? I want to know. He's hot.

I'm still single, Annie. Will you look up Jordan? Jordan Weisley. Am I chopped liver? Are we not throwing options my way anymore? You reject my whiteys, but he's Venezuelan or something, too. Or Panamanian. Wait, he's white? He's half Panamanian. Oh, no, no, no. He's cute. He's so hot. He's the best.

He's number one. He's so cool. Oh, yeah. He's super cute. He's so fun. He's so funny. He's number one. He's so cool. Oh, yeah, he's super cute. He's so fun. He's so funny. He's the best. He's doing race car driving now. I've never seen him without the cowboy hat. Oh, he has a fiance.

Yeah. No, he was engaged to Tori, but they broke up. Oh, I see. And Tori, I'm like, Tori, come to me, bitch. Come to me. She's like Philly area. He is super cute. Yeah, no, he's number one.

But it's like he's always down. He's the best. There's no, he's number one, but it's like, he's always down. He's the best. Have I really rejected your whiteys? Yeah, it's okay. They're island whiteys too. I'm like,

they grew up on islands. I don't think I ever actually like met any though. That's a thing. Yeah. Like I, I can't be attracted to a guy just on paper alone. Of course. Yeah.

That's why I can't do dating apps. Yeah. It's hard. It's so, well, I always think you're like, you have to go through a funeral. Like you meet the person and you're on a date with them. And you're like, you have to have a funeral for the person you created them to be.

Yeah, I've never done that. That sounds exactly right. But even then, like I can't even create an idea of them when I see them. I just think that they're all the same. They all open with the same line. What is that? What's the line that you got? Something about my weekend or something.

If they try to be too funny or too clever, then it's like, red flag, how many times have you texted that same sentence to someone today? And I know it's just a numbers game. I'm not hating on people on dating apps. But, like, personally, for me, it's just a snooze fest. Every guy in L.A. has, like, their surfing pic, their Burning Man pic. Like, it's just a snooze fest. Every guy in LA has their surfing pic, their Burning Man pic. It's very specific. And they all kind of just start to feel the same, look the same. The only guy I went on a date with, well, two guys I went on a date with on Mariah.

And the one guy paid extra to direct me. That I liked. I was like, okay. Even though he's probably doing it for a lot of people. And we had good vibes. He was from Philly and he was brought up Qu people. And we had good vibes. He was from Philly and he was brought up Quaker and we had all these like

really good vibes like talking. Like we like had good text and then we hung out. It was kind of fine. But then he just wanted to keep texting and would never hang out. I was like,

I don't have time for this. Yeah. You're like his new better help therapist. Yeah, I'm like, am I your therapist? What's going on? But um.

We should go to the singles bar but then. Wait, Jessie, we should go on? We should go to the singles bar. Wait, Jessie, we should go out and just be waiting to talk to you. Wasn't Nehemiah was kind of leaning in on you? Like, I like this girl. No, because we are so opposite. You're blonde. I'm brown.

I think that you and I together looking for boys in the wild. We'd be unstoppable, Kalilah. Yeah, we'd be unstoppable. I'd be on the God mic. I'd be on the God mic at the bar. You guys, we've got them lined up in the wild. We'd be unstoppable. Yeah, we'd be unstoppable. I'd be on the god mic. I'd be on the god mic at the bar. At the bar? You guys, we've got them lined up in the corner. We're going to be in Austin together. That would be really fun.

When are you guys going to be in Austin together? Next weekend. Yeah, I'm headlining Sunset Strip in Austin on the 25th and then Tiger Brother Live is on the 26th. Wait, let's go out. That would be really fun. You've got to be able to, you got to bring your cowboy boots.

I'll bring my Tocovas. I think Tocovas is an Austin brand. I'm also really awkward. Annie, you want to meet us there? I'm jealous. I can't. No, just come. What weekend?

This next weekend? Next weekend. Family vacation. Cocaine, come on. Bring your whole family. We need as many wingmen as we can get. Cowboy cocaine. No, that's been my dream for Annie to just wing me or wing us.

Yeah. I'm just giving you cocaine for some reason. For some reason, I'm like, I'm always giving Kalilah coke in every story. It's just me like, no one else is doing it. I'm just like, go, Kalilah, go. Imagine how if I look at my instrument, you know this thing is going to snort some shit up. Well, how do you, okay, how do you have gay metal bar though? Because my whole thing is like, I'm not going to hook up the night.

Me neither. And so like, how do you, I feel like at a bar, when you go out, guys are just, that's all they're trying to do. Yeah. So then I'm just talking to them to be like, make friends first. Yeah, same. It takes me a while. I don't sleep with, I, I,

because it takes me a while to be attracted to somebody it's very rare that i'm attracted to someone like right out the gate and usually if i am that will wane over time like if i'm super attracted to them initially i know like the next week i'm like i like slow burns when i'm like oh i think i'm attracted and then it starts to grow um so i'm with you on that we're we're definitely not fucking next weekend hell yeah we're not making out in the bathroom i'll make out i'll make out in the bathroom yeah i had a thing when i used to drink where in santa fe where i'd be like we have to make out like i i liked making out like behind the dumpster and stuff i don't know

why i was like it's so funny so funny. That is really funny. I was like, let's go make out and parties in college. It was always like going. They were guys were always putting me up on the sink. Oh, yes. Making out is super fun. Yeah.

You can't bang, though. But no banging, no bathroom bangs. None of that. I feel like in Austin. Never. A bathroom bang. Bathroom bangs later on. Later on.

Yeah, sure. But not my first night in austin though when i lived in santa fe there's something about a country town too makes you want to just get it in a bathroom well abortions are illegal in texas so so no bangs hotter hotter oh yeah yeah there's more risk involved well you bring the baby across state lines and then you get rid of it yeah but i travel with my my julie pack my emergency contraceptive so we're good what is it it sounds like a vape but it's what if it came in vape form oh my god that's actually julie i know julie if you're watching vape emergency contraceptive that's Dude, people would be down. You could partner with Jewel. It would be J-U-U-L-I-E.

Yeah, collab. Wow, that's pretty genius. No, but it's an emergency. It's emergency contraceptive. So even if he blows a load, you are covered. Got that plan B. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In vapor.

Plan A, plan Austin. trying to lock you up but i think they they party out there it's like downtown austin which is where the club i'm at and the theater you're at it's like all in that downtown area and everything's really close walking distance all the bars and stuff so it's like a big party town this probably won't be released until after but um i should start to recruit some hotties right line them up for us i wish you were there i know what the fuck i know and i'm going to an esther hicks seminar in philly with my parents and what's an esther hicks seminar esther gets real country it's yeah it's a hick esther it It's Esther in cowboy boots. And she's got dip. She spits on you.

I'm like, oh my God. Stella would be into it. Esther Hicks is like, she channels, she supposedly channels beings or something. Like a medium? No, it's like, will you look up a description of esther hicks is this something your parents planned or you're dragging no i'm breaking i'm bringing them that's oh cool it's gonna be fun esther hicks okay yeah i don't know how to explain her esther

people call her the dark arts okay as an okay as an american inspirational speaker channeler a channeler and author. She has co-written nine books with her late husband, Jerry Hicks. But it is... I see, hold on. Go down a bit. She rules.

I want to know specifically what channeling is. It's awesome. I listen to her stuff all the time. You're like channeling a person a hell and i'll find it is it more paranormal people no no it's like it's like oh there it is okay a channeler so a channeling so a conduit in esoteric esoterism esoterism i can't fucking read a conduit and spiritual discourse is a specific object person location or process in a seance or entering a trance or using psychedelic medicine hers is

like your ultimate being wants you to be happy and you're here to be happy it's like about manifesting so communicating with the spiritual realm or the metaphysical energy and like every time you're upset it's because you're not you're not congruent with your spirit like your spirit just wants you happy loving everyone and if you're not it's because you're i felt like that the other like my body and spirit were separate i went to go make a like a protein smoothie and i was like we're gonna treat ourselves to something nice i was like why am saying weird? But I was talking to myself as we were two people. I lost it. And take my vitamins. Did you guys both like this protein smoothie? We both liked it. And then I chopped it up to that I'm a Gemini. So yeah, there's a couple

things going on. I always get along with Geminis. Everyone's's always like i'm an aries and i'll i'll cut you off completely if you say one bad thing to me but i'm also full of love but gemini's are psychotic and you're like wait what's the what's the general like idea like what's what are gemini's supposed to be like two-faced that's everybody says two-faced but i think there is like the sign is the twins and there's a duality. And I've found with myself, like I think it works well being a comedian because I play devil's advocate on everything. Like it's really hard for me to really pick a stance on something because I

see like all the sides to it. That's how Todd is too. And Todd's a Gemini and I'm like, he's not, he's not two-faced. He just sees every, it's like he's more empathetic and kind because he can see everyone. You see where everyone's coming from.

Yeah. And it's probably really annoying too if you're talking to me about something because I'll be like, well, what could be this? I do appreciate that though. It's good for conversation. Yeah. Because sometimes like I know that I, there are times where I really need someone to just agree and back me up, especially if someone's done something. Or like a boy, say, for instance. And I'm like, he did this or he did that.

I do. And Annie's really good with this. She is very like, well, fuck him and fuck this. And I feel super supported in that moment. But there are times where I'm a little bit unreasonable. And I do need that voice to be like, well. When I'm healthy, I'm going, come on. When I'm unhealthily, I'm like, fuck this and I do need that voice to be like when I'm healthy I'm going come on when I'm unheld I'm like fuck this guy let's kill him that might be where the two-faced thing

comes into because like if my friend is telling me something about like her relationship I'll always have her side like my best friend but in my head I'm also thinking of the things of like well you could do this this and this to get out of it but I'm not gonna say that because sometimes you don't need to hear that. Sometimes you're just venting. So maybe that's where that comes from. That's so hard when people are just venting. I'm always like, I can give you solutions out of this.

I know. Venting sounds like it should be refreshing and cool you off. But it's usually really annoying. Yeah. Speaking of venting. Whoa. I'm here to vent. It's time.

Yeah. Speaking of venting. Whoa. It's a ton of hair. Did you guys know that hair thinning will happen to approximately one out of two women sitting on this couch? Oh, my God. Did you know that one of the women on the couch has such thin hair that she clips in hair extensions and then it also makes it thinner? I had no idea.

Did you know? America, did you know that? And did you, have you ever wished that you had visibly thicker hair? How about less shedding? Maybe stress is causing your hair to thin. Less shedding? Less shedding. I heard shedding, too. Oh, my God.

Esther, she loves poop. I said shedding. Caw-caws. But seriously, are you tired? Are you tired? Are you tired? Of this ad? You're reading it?

Yes. Are you tired of dealing with thinning hair you tired? Of this ad? You're reading it? Yes. Are you tired of dealing with thinning hair? Nutrafol is here to help. Their hair growth supplements use drug-free ingredients to target root causes of thinning hair and promote healthy hair growth for real. And what I love about Nutrafol is that they don't promise an overnight fix, which is why I know they're legit. You take four pills a day. I've been taking it for, I think, close to two years now. And I'm telling you, my baby hairs are now adult hairs. They are in college. Did you cry when you had to drop your baby hairs off at school? I really did. I'm like,

you guys are growing up so fast. Every girly that asked me like, Esther, how is your hair so thick? I literally always say, if you want want thicker hair the only thing i trust is neutrophil because like you said it's not an overnight fix this is the real deal and they're using real ingredients that will actually treat the issues and neutrophil is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement clinically shown to improve visible thickness and strength and in a clinical study 86% of women reported improved hair growth after taking Nutrafol Women's Hair Growth Supplement for six months. Take the first step to visibly thicker, healthier hair. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first

month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code TRASH. Find out why over 4,000 healthcare professionals recommend Nutrafol for healthier hair. Nutrafol.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com promo code trash. That's Nutrafol.com promo code trash. Okay, so whether you're new to cannabis or you're an old pro, there's no denying that many of the products on the market seem iffy at best. And when you want to relax, iffy is sort of the last way you want to feel and you don't really

want to conjure that up right and mood puts an end to the guessing games it's a hundred percent federally legal delta 8 and delta 9 thc you can have ship straight to you no doctors no waiting just affordable legal thc and for a limited time mood is giving our listeners free delta 9 gummies and 20 off your first order visit hellomood.com and use promo code trash Tuesday. My favorite thing about mood, which is kind of the whole reason that I like cannabis is that you can tailor what you ingest like to your, your exact mood that you want. So they have energized, creative, focused, euphoric, erotic, sleepy, chill, social. I've been using body soother a lot lately. Like I just love to like pick

when I exactly how I want to feel, pop it in and have that exactly happen. Like that is such a relief to me. And like Esther said, it's great for both beginner and veteran users. However you like to take THC, Mood has you covered. Ready for a good time without the guesswork?

Order your THC products from Mood today. And for 20% off your first order and free gummies go to hellomood.com and use promo code trash tuesday that's hellomood.com promo code trash tuesday tuesday trash tuesday for 20 off your order and free gummies so you guys are going to the Esther Hicks thing. And like, what is it? Just a seminar? Like, is it a couple of days? People do like hot seats. It's just one day.

People will come up and they'll be like, I'm. You can look at one on YouTube real quick. It's like. Do you get brought up on stage? If you want. If you manifest it. I feel like my dad's going do a hot seat i want to be channeled it's cool it's really cool stuff like people will go up with like questions and oh i

like this and she'll be like i don't know she just like guides people back into it's all about like putting things in your vortex and what i like about her, it's all about like putting things in your vortex. And what I like about her messages, it's like the, like the joy in life is the process of getting somewhere. So rather than looking at your life, like, Oh, I'll be happy when I have this thing.

You're like satisfied with your, your time towards it. You know, like, Oh, I'm so excited. Yeah. I,

I had this thought a couple of weeks ago when I was with my family in Hawaii for my sister's 40th birthday. And it was like And it was just a random, it wasn't even a thought. It was more like a feeling. And like, I looked at her, I looked at my family and I was like, wait, I already made it. Not because I started to make money. I made it a long time ago. The fact that there were so many things stacked against me when I was young and somehow I'm still living and breathing and there's air in my lungs. I'm like, fuck, I made it. And it was such this feeling that washed over me where I was like, everything could end today and it will be okay.

Yeah. I wish everybody was in that place. That's really beautiful. The feeling came and went. It did? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm back into the fog. Well, Louise Hay is another person I listen to. She does affirmations. And her whole thing is, the feeling came and went it did yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm back into the fog well louise hay is

another person i listen to she does like affirmations and her whole thing is she's like the most important thing in life is breath and the fact that we all can breathe is and she's dead now so it's like oh it doesn't last forever but it's like um it's just yeah i don't know it's nice to just remember that you have so much to be grateful for. And if you can acknowledge and let yourself be loved, you realize how loved you are, you know? Yeah. And I think people forget the original dream. Remember when you were just like, I just want to make rent or I just want a room to myself or I just want to not worry about groceries next week. I don't want to have to steal this block of cheese from Albertsons. You know, like I don't want to have to eat shrimp crackers for three straight weeks. Can we get out

of the top? You know, like top ramen cannot be, you know, two out of three meals a day. Like the original dream, we just so quickly forget it, I think. But if we were to write that down, like imagine if we wrote it down then and all the things we needed and wanted and read it now I did that I listen I used to listen to I've always listened to self help things but I listened to this guy Brian Tracy when I first quit drinking and started doing comedy in New York and I wrote down he had he had this book called goals and I wrote down you write goals in positive present tense you do 10 goals and then you do three things you can do to get those goals. So it would be like if I wrote things like, and I was so embarrassed because I had barely started.

I hadn't even done an open mic yet. And I was like, I want to be on Chelsea Lately. So I was like, I am like a panelist on Chelsea Lately. I am, you know, all these things. And I was like, if someone found this, I'd be so embarrassed. And I got that within a year. I was on Chelsea Lately in a year. You go, I am on Chelsea Lately a year you go I am on Chelsea lately or the goal setting and yeah and but you and then you just kind of put it into the thing

but now a lot of the stuff I do is about really like getting on the vibrational level of having those things so rather than looking at like oh I really want a house I like I do visualizations of myself driving into the house opening the door feeling like at home and that's what I would do a lot when I lived at that awful house but it helped me like I guess it's similar to like finding your happy place you know I would like really just feel like I was in my home whatever it was like and feeling good and safe yeah you know and then you just wake up one day and you're like oh I'm in it yeah it's crazy and they're feeling good and safe yeah you know and then you just wake up one day and you're like oh i'm in it yeah it's crazy and they're like oh i want more you know like when i was a kid like i did a lot of like maladaptive daydreaming because like i would

just wanted to get out of whatever situation i was in whether like i was scared of my mom i was scared of being beat i was force-fed whatever it was i was like i so i would do a lot of i would daydream these like and you know things that i thought could never happen but it got me out of my situation at that time but most of those things that i daydreamed about came true so crazy right because it's like you really do accidentally um point your life in the direction of that because you did it for so long in your head either as a child or whatever. So like now I look and I'm like, oh my God, like everything that I daydreamed of became true.

Sometimes I wonder too, were you dreaming it or was it pulling you? That's kind of like, I don't know, but that's like our free will destiny thing. And all the divine timing ideas, like that's what gets me out of anxiety if I'm like something's going wrong or like if i show up to a show or for instance last night i bombed on the show my like closer bad i was getting laughs throughout the show but like my closer bomb but when you're not getting the laughs you're used to

getting you're like and you're like i'm like oh isn't, all of a sudden I'm like watching myself. It feels like going through a trap door. Yeah, I'm like, where are we? What bizarro world are we in? This is worked yesterday. But I had to like explain my closer. I was like, no, no, no, no. The reason these words are together is this.

But I could get upset about that. I think it's fun. It's kind of fun to bomb now because it doesn't happen as often. It used to happen all the time, you know, when I first started. But I could get upset of that or it could be like, oh, that's like exactly what needs to happen for whatever the next thing is that happens. Yeah, you need that feeling. I think like whenever I bomb anyway, like it hurts.

Like I'm not going to obsess over it like I used to when I was younger and that it would ruin my whole night right but now like I do think that feeling of like oh I failed is like it's important because then it will make me want to never feel like that again even though you know it will because that's just part of the game but you it makes you like go work harder again and yeah it's like it's important i think to have those feelings yeah sometimes not all the time but i don't want to summon that into my life yeah i know for sure i know but it's like who cares it's a wait juicy what's your type since we're going to austin together i need to know what i'm looking out for okay so i've been thinking about this a lot lately now that i'm single and i don't

really know yet because i think i'm similar to you in the sense like i don't i don't always just find people attractive it's like rare for me to just see somebody and be like whoa like there are certain guys like um i did start looking at um the thunder down under page which is really impressive you just end up with like a beefy australian yeah we're like on an australian kick today we really are i i got with a beefy australian a couple years ago a beefcake it was a beefcake a stud finder yeah okay so thunder down under men i mean it's hard to look at them and be like i don't know i don't find them attractive because i like very attractive but like normal like walking down i don't know it's like

i i'm more like i have to i bond like with the personality and there's like an energetic thing that i have to like that i'm attracted to that i so i don't i don't really know and i haven't dated in so long and i've been so like work focused even before this last relationship so it's like I I never really went out to date it's like pretty much the only guys I'd be into are the ones that were initially into me we like hang out with people for a job too so it seems so insane to like take off our hang to go on a like a planned hang yeah also like planned dates it feels like a fucking job interview oh it's so awkward i went on two and you know right away no no it felt like i was like podcasting with someone who did they know who you were um no

they didn't know who i was but it felt like i the lights were on so do you like breast milk yeah no that's exactly it and i felt felt like, why am I talking like this? Why do I give a shit? But I'm exactly like you. Some guy recently told me, and he said it with his whole chest. He's like, wow, you really don't have a type. Because he saw just like three different exes that I've had. And he was like, I didn't believe you at first.

He's like, but holy shit, Kalilah, you do not have have a type having a type is kind of weird it is right well it's like are you chasing someone that you loved back in the day or had a crush on or like how do you develop a type or just like I I feel like there have been times where like I date guys that look a little too much like my family where I'm like what are we doing here your type is yourself yeah i'm like twin brother he's hot cersei and jamie forever i have the best picture of me and todd i mean me and max my twin brother watching a sex scene between the two brother and sister and we're but we're like kind of squished close what movie is this of game of. Oh, I thought it was like a porno you were watching. No, yeah, we were just jerking off.

You guys probably couldn't watch Game of Thrones together because that's just a little weird. No, we were squished. It was funny. I'm not even. Really? Max and I aren't usually squished. I remember every time Max like leans his head on my shoulder. I'm like, don't move.

It's like my dog when I was little. If she put her head on you and you move, she would leave the room. Yeah. That's how Max was like. You don't want him to leave. Don't move. That's how massive it is. You don't want to believe. The move is showing me affection and love. Oh my goodness. Okay, so no type.

So we're both similar. So we're going to be both pretty lost in Austin. Yeah. Lost in Austin. Yeah. Lost in Austin. Lost in Austin. We're going to sell that script

after the writer's strike is done. Yeah, because no one's working on anything right now. So we're basically of no help to each other. I wish we could just go see a male strip club. Okay, let's do that. Do they have any? I don't think they, they probably don't have any. Even in Vegas, I went with my-

Not in Texas. They're like, get that shit out of my town. Call that in a small town. They don't got boobs or nothing. Wait, what about we just go to a regular strip club because i always find like i feel like there always are pretty interesting dudes there wait i have a take what do you guys think about because back in the day i met a guy at um home depot oh already so hot what aisle oh he was outside asking for work. No, I'm kidding.

No, he worked. He was selling power tools. He was selling. He worked for the power tool company, and he was doing, like, an exhibit selling power tools. Okay, so. Cowboy Carl. He was a liaison. He was really hot. Yeah.

He had, like, been fat, and so he was, like, hot with stretch marks. So you're like, you've been places. Oh, the chocolate chip on the shoulder is my favorite because they don't realize how hot they are they still got a little bit of hips left but that's okay we just don't have to look that direction when i met his mom his mom came to town when i met his mom she was like he was like mom she used to be a go-go dancer i was like why are you telling your mom that part i was also a special ed teacher oh my god i was just like this is so weird and she was like you were i was like oh my god i telling your mom that part? I was also a special ed teacher. Oh, my God. I was just like, this is so weird. And she was like, you were?

I was like, oh, my God. I'm distracted by that. I can't think of anything. I know. Okay, so this is so aggressive. The monitors on the ground are hard. Maybe we should cheat them up so it looks like we're looking at the camera. Is the famous, Julian tells me he has a famous male strip club in Austin.

Hunkamania. Hunkamia sounds great. Oh, my God. I bet Bobby would love to go. That would be so funny. Okay, we're going. You should get Rogan to go with you. Honkomania?

What if he came out? He's moderating it. He's moderating the strip club. Matt Rife's there. You're like, oh, my God. Wait, do we need reservations or we just go in? We might because my best friend and I tried to see Thunder Down Under and they were like, do you have tickets?

And we're like, no. And I tried to slip them cash. Because we're so thirsty. And he was like, you need tickets. We're thirsty for it. Yeah. Okay, we're going to Hunkomania. I'm going to buy tickets.

That sounds awesome. I'm Joe. And I bet you it goes late so we could go after the show. Yeah. I'm Joe Joe. You could rent a hunk. Hunkomania. 50% deposit.

They all also do Kill Tony that week they're all on the line they're like I have to tell you about a a joke I wrote about having sex with my stepdaughter wait so what happened with the guy at Home Depot

he I just didn't we didn't vibe he was too like I don't know what a great place to meet someone so but it felt like the right i was like oh it felt hot to meet a man at home depot my friends when um they go to hawaii their first stop is always this place called food land but it's the poke section because that's where all like at a certain time that's where all like the thick thick the what do you call it the you came up with a term

the thick butted daddies are daddies they just got done surfing oh i love it no we're like they're just like construction workers yeah like annie and i were in hawaii and we were just like i i realized we were trailing this guy at the airport oh Oh, my God. His dirty nails. Thick butted. And he was carrying his toolbox, right? Ooh, who checks a toolbox? Who carries on their toolbox? It's so hot. So funny.

But that's it. All my friends are like, Foodland, poke section is where the thick butted daddies are. Do you think poke is because it's kind of keto? No, I think that's where they're going. And they probably have families, honestly, and they're just buying dinner, an easy dinner. There is something about like, oh, someone got you young. No, yes.

Thick daddy. There's nothing hotter than a guy who's like, oh, no, I've been married since I was 19. And they want nothing to do with you. Yeah, they want nothing to do with you. I would never chill with my wife. You're like, oh. So quiet. I'll just back to this later.

I'm kidding. You have good family values. All right. Hunk-o-mania it is. I'm jealous. That would be epic. Julianne tells me it's a DL gay place. Home Depot.

Home Depot is? Yeah, Home Depot is like a- No, Hunk-o-mania. No, no, Home Depot. Oh. Home Depot is like a very- I would say Hunk-oamania would be kind of like Not DL

But isn't Hunkamania seems like Gay for Pay, right? Seems like it Yeah But Home Depot is like a DL, like you can There's people are cruising around Home Depot

What am I doing There all fucking day then? Jesus. I will say, I went there the other day and I was like, oh. Did it lose its magic? Which one? Which Home Depot? I went to the one in Marina Del Rey.

You got to go to the Valley. Yeah, they're hard workers. But Marina Del Rey has like, Marina Del Rey has like, like a garden section that you're walking and you're like, the last time I was there I was on mushrooms, but I was like, why aren't we hanging out here? Wait, they all have garden sections. I know, but it's a better garden section. Oh, I bet it would be in Marina Del Rey.

It's a beach, it's like a beach garden section. You're like, oh, I can smell the beach. Yeah, I like just walking my dog through it. Yeah. Especially over the lockdown. There's nothing to do but Home Depot. And so we just walked through the garden section. Well, that's where a lot of people do, like, their dog training sessions is at Home Depot.

Really? I see, like, Dobermans there. And they're like, why is there a Doberman in a fucking, like, lumber? And it's because they, there's a lot of space in big aisles. And, say, dog trainers take dogs there all the time. That makes sense. They're dog friendly. Man, Home Depot's the best.

Except I got in a fight with a lady once because I was like, do you have a box? We were getting a bunch of plants. I was like, do you have a box? And she went,

a box? I was like, I didn't think that was a crazy. What kind of box did you need? Like a tray, like it's something where you can carry the things you bought out.

She was like, oh, like a regular cardboard box. It was like Asperger's. I was like, do you have Asperger's? I'm like, why are you mad at me? It was like the weird card it was like asperger's i was like do you have asperger's man like why are you mad at me it was like the weird i'm like this is a

box store like yeah if you have an aisle of them this is crazy like i'll buy one jesus she was so like disgusted with my question i was like about to get spit on at home depot damn maybe you ever say something and people go like oh you said the said the thing wrong. But in your head, it sounds like you said it right. What if you said like the N-word or something? Can I lick your box, N-word? And she was like, what? Did you guys ever see the morning TV interview where I actually said like the term the N-word? Yes, it's so funny. No way, I yes it's so funny I said nudes and they

freaked out yeah they said oh you look like Sarah James and I go oh no one tells me that since her nudes leaked and they heard me say nudes and they got like so scared and then I just didn't even mean to I just went like oh are you sad I said the n-word because I didn't want to say nudes again yeah and then they're like they were like short-circuiting they're like, they were like short circuiting. They're like, and I was like, didn't use word. Didn't your agent call you or something? No, because then the club owner text my agent, this idiot text my agent and goes, Annie just said the N word on live TV. Okay.

With no quotes or anything. And then my, he was in a meeting at CIA with like all the agents. And then I get a call like i'm getting like frantic calls and i'm like i think i was hilarious he goes we're gonna get through this we talked about it's like i think we can like i think it's okay like i think we can still work with you and i'm like i'm like no i said i go no it was funny it was not i didn't say i'm like i promise you're never gonna catch me saying the actual I promise you I won't be that client. Right. I can promise you.

But it was crazy. That's a really funny story. The whole board of CIA. They were like in a meeting with all of them. It was like their meeting that they have. It's so funny. They're doing just like a PR crisis mode. I mean, they were like, we think we can keep you.

This guy was gonna be dropped by my agent so crazy i love that if you had said it though they were still thinking of keeping you yeah they were like they were gonna you know maybe they just say that in the beginning for the first 24 hours like yeah yeah yeah so you don't go around yeah so you don't like freak out you don't go on a rampage yeah you know who I matched with on Raya recently? And I want to know you guys' opinion whether or not I should go on a date. If it's my agent, I'll throw up all over this place.

No, but we have to bleep this out, obviously, and blur my mouth. But do you guys know who **** was? Yeah. Like ****? Yeah. The football player? You should pull him off.

I mean, you have to. I know that name, but I don't know. Yeah, do you think that he will tear my vagina in half? That's all I really want to know. I think he'll, I think that he probably is going to ask you how your weekend was. Oh, yeah. No, he didn't open with that. What did he open with?

Can I tell you? Yeah. Can I read it? Yeah. It's actually really sweet okay i'll read it out loud okay he's like i would like to put a touchdown in your goal post if he had said that i would have been like okay he's like i want to suck your fee football um he said oh he just said good morning kalilah oh that's pretty good yeah and i people just why

don't you just say our names it's so easy that's true i could be i could just be a guy and just woo every girl and then our names and lean in and chew gum i know it's so true i like hearing my own name and then he basically said how's it going pretty basic and then i said you know but anyways but he based i said hey like I just got out of a relationship even though it's been like two years so I was like I'm not really like I haven't met anyone I don't intend to go on dates with anyone right this is more like an ego boost thing I was pretty honest and he's like oh my type um yeah that basically he was like oh I totally understand if you're not trying to date anyone right now.

But thanks for even swiping. I was hoping you'd be interested in me. But swiping because you find me attractive isn't total chopped liver, right? And so I was like, maybe not fully chopped. But I was like, oh, he's really sweet. Kalilah. You think he's going to rip through my vagina, though? Yes, please.

I'm keegling. You think? We can keegle back together though? Yes, please. I'm keegling. You think? We can keegle it back together. He looks like he works for Thunder Down Under. I'm literally sopping wet right now. I'm like, what are we talking about?

And his, the way he talked to you was perfect. I know. It's so polite. And then he DM'd me on Instagram. He was like, Oh, here you are.

Cause he probably didn't think I was going to reply on Raya again or come back there. And so he found me on Instagram He was like Oh here you are Cause he probably Didn't think I was Gonna reply on Raya again Or come back there And so he found me On Instagram I feel like He'd be so fun Recently In the last two weeks

I feel like People Like Famous Athletes How loyal Could they be Yeah of course

That's a good point But it could be Really fine You know Or not Yeah But I don't know If you're looking To get into A serious relationship That's a good point. But it could be really fine. You know? Or not. Yeah. But I don't know.

If you're looking to get into a serious relationship, that would be my fear. I don't think you need to be serious with him. I think you could. Yeah. He's f***ed. Boop that out, too. Or is that who he plays for? I'm just curious. Yeah.

I have many boyfriends who would be so jealous of you. How tall is he? That's going to be it. Annie's our football talk. Annie and Kalilah's football corner. We love football, guys. Football corner, guys. When you want to hear about sports, you go to Trash Tuesday, okay?

Esther's not into sports. Kalilah and I, we can't shut up about it. We love balls. He's 6'4", Kalilah. He's 6'4"? Dang. That's actually not. I thought he was like 6'4", Kalilah. He's 6'4"? Dang. That's actually not. I thought he was like 6'7", or something.

That's not too bad. He's perfect. All right. All right. Do we. Are you guys saying yes to the dress? Yes. Okay, good.

Yes to the draft. I'm saying shaft to the draft. All right. I say you just hook up with them. You go shaft to draft. Once the draft happens. Oh, yeah. You'd have to go to all the games.

Does he have like. CTE? Yeah. What was his position? He was a wide receiver, I think. Are those getting hit in the headers? They get hit in the head. Not as much, but still. Yeah, I think. Are those getting hit in the headers? They get hit in the head. Not as much, but still.

Yeah, they can. The quarterbacks are the ones that don't get fucked up, right? Not as much. I know. I want you to hook up with Tom Brady. No, he just isn't my type. He kisses his son too much? Yeah.

Oh, they broke up? No, they broke up. Where you been? Oh, didn't do it. Oh, my God. You're not into sports like we are. Yeah. We know a lot about sports.

I met a bunch of football players on the road. They're Santino's friends and they're so nice. Santino keeps so many secrets of the people he's friends with. He has so many friends. He's friends with everyone that you'd be like, can I have your autograph? Santino is friends with. I know. Because he's a mayor.

Even his cadence and everything is so gubernatorial. He's just, he could run for office, really. He could. I'd vote for him. I'd vote for him, too. All these people, they love him so much, too. I'm like, how do you know all these people? He's so charming.

Yeah. But all these NFL players came out to one of our shows, and they were all just so nice. They were just gentlemen and very friendly friendly and they just love to laugh. And it's like they're really cute. Let's get this guy off the screen. It's super distracting. That's so cute. He's not giving up on you.

You kind of rejected him. He's probably obsessed with you now. I know. Isn't that how to do it if you say like i don't want to date then they'll they're like no let's get married yeah yeah that it's fun um okay hang on what do we have here what is it um what is the cheating with an ai thing stella um basically it's just like, it's the question. Like, if you did...

Okay, here we go. There's this article that asks, a bot on the side, is it adultery if you cheat with an AI companion? What's an AI companion? It's like a robot. Like a hot Westworld...

Like a Tamagotchi? It's in real life? Yeah. Like, it's a a robot, like a hot Westworld. Like a Tamagotchi? It's in real life? Yeah. Like it's a hot person, but it's a robot. Oh, it's a robot, but not like a second life thing. No, no, no, no. Have you ever seen the movie Her? Yeah.

So something similar to that, just not as advanced yet. But you can have sex with it? Yeah, let's say, yeah. I mean, what's the point if we're just holding hands? Well, Joaquin didn't have no sex oh emotionally yeah he was there i bet he jacked off i'm sure he all over her robot face he had to get a new phone wait so is it cheating i mean i mean we're right around the corner from possibly having this

like be a real option for the lonely gals like myself. Right. Yeah. But I mean, I hope it's I hope this is for cheating and not people just living their entire lives with the robot. But is it cheating, though? Let's suppose, OK, Todd, OK, just five years from now, the real doll just becomes even realer. And now she's able to have emotions. She's able to have emotions she's able to respond she's able to listen and then you come home one day i can't compete without a listener that i cannot give him so you would probably just you know understand so let's i've never let my boyfriends like fuck other girls i feel like a lot of girls that I know and and boyfriends that I've had have been in open relationships where they were like maybe more sexually demanding than the girl wanted so they would be like oh you can just like fuck other girls and then dated that guy and he tried to pull

that with me and I was like I don't like that yeah so I don't think I think if I'm not giving you what you need then we shouldn't be in a relationship. And I know that relationships like ebb and flow, but I think with open communication, it's like, it's a robot. I feel like, cause Todd's obviously with you cause he likes your dynamic. So I feel like if he had a robot, it'd be exactly like you. And it would just be like, Todd, where are you? Todd, give me water. It'd be two people being like, I need water.

Okay. Would you be okay with that then? Just like as a proxy, a proxy for when you're gone. Or let's say you have to be on set for a movie like for two months and there's just a robot Annie at home. To babysit Todd. No. I, no. What if Randy needed it because he missed you?

No. Randy doesn't get a fake mother. What do you think, Juicy? Live in my absence and miss me. It would be weird for me. Yeah, if I was like in a relationship and I was like, okay, bye. And then he's like dusting the robot off. Okay, what about this?

What about if it's like. Like douching her? You're like, ew. A brothel. Where's the vinegar? Oh, my God, Todd. What do you call those things you buy at best buy to clean your computer like the air duster yeah is that what you buy them for we did different things with those in philly

sexual wait so let's suppose you know let's suppose it's a brothel, but it's all real dolls or AI companions. And he's just like, look, I had a night with the boys and we went to, you know, the sexotech. The ooky kooky, the doll. Yeah. But it was just with a doll. Like, is that a fight or is that like, oh, I get that. Or what is that? I just am not really in relationships with guys that are like strip

club guys or like yeah todd is definitely like i just don't like yeah yeah i don't know i just never have dated a guy that's like that i mean i have but it doesn't last long i don't want to feel bad and threatened i want to feel comfortable and happy, the robot brothel is really funny to me. What if it was an online version? So it's someone building out an AI companion to have some sort of relationship with online. Is it just online? And not a physical doll. I feel like that's similar to a therapist.

Yeah, go to a therapist. But you're saying it's more of like a romantic connection. Yeah, go to a therapist. But you're saying it's more of like a romantic connection. Yeah. That's even worse for me because if you're going to somebody else with your feelings, that to me is the ultimate betrayal. Right. Instead of teaching your

real life companion what you need and want. What you need, you're teaching the AI version. This is for incels. This is to stop the school shootings. Yeah, and I think it's a necessary're teaching the ai this is for incels this is to stop the school shooting yeah and i think that's a necessary thing yeah this is great i'm not against this it's just like i'd be like todd are you kidding also i feel like todd would tell me if he was like i think i'm having feelings for this doll yeah yeah todd would would be pretty upfront about that i just can't even i don't know so for me if i were to i like this like messy bunch she does

look like a bitch like she'd be like your penis is small i'm gonna step on it like for me being single right now i would definitely dabble in some ai companionship but more for the novelty of being one of the first girls to actually do it but also imagine like you date a guy and his last girl from his ai and he's like and then she's like let me tell you about him is he let me guess he's always late he can never commit because he comes quick perfected ai but they still talk like this he has herpes. I'm pregnant. I love this. The younger generation is just so open about their herpes. And it's like, I'm so proud of Gen Z. They are not afraid of the things that ail them.

Like, I see a lot of young people who are still being like, yeah, I have herpes. I just want to let you know up front. And I hear these things and I'm like, oh, my God, we were so terrified. We gave them. We were the ones that gave it to them. Speak for yourself. No, I don't have herpes yet. Wait, is Todd Gen Z or is he millennial?

Oh, I'm young. He's millennial. I have no clue. I don't know. I don't know. Well, he's younger than me, though. 29. He was born in 94.

Gen Z shares everything. Yeah. Yes. Like, I guess 94. Gen Z shares everything. Yeah. Yes. Like, I guess it's good, but some of the thoughts they can keep in their head. They just like talk. But you just inject just a little bit of shame back. Just a little bit. Well, they'll get it later.

I think they just haven't developed self-awareness. Oh, my cutie pies. How are we on time, Stella? Bobby, come give us some views. Are we good on time? 108. I can't see him. 108?

Yeah. I saw that body. I go, that's got to be a Bobby body. I've never seen a body like that. Babe? Oh, did you see her name? I can't see babe anymore. Sorry.

Meet Nastia. Do you want me to go get him? Nastia. My ex-girlfriend Nastia would let me fuck her in the plastic butthole. Is it like replenishing wetness, too? They like make it moist? I like, well, if the, sorry, I just breezed right over that. Wait, what were we talking about?

If she like re-moistens herself? Nastia? Her name's Nastia. Her name's Nastia. Oh, I was like, wait, I re-moisten. I was like, wait, I remoistened. I was like, wait, I do that too. Like, Nastia used to spit on my cock. You're like, oh my God, how?

Yeah, I can't compete with a thing that just abides. Like, I'm a fucking cunt sometimes. I would like that. I hope they think like they like warm bodies and the nuance of a human. Well, why can't they just make them clean the house and cook dinner? Like, I would get get a robot wife. If I break up with Todd, he's allowed to get an anti-AI if we get divorced.

Yeah, why are they making them only for sex? We should have robot maids. Yeah. I guess that's kind of like the... Roberta? Roberta. Welcome to my house, Roberta. I would make it a white name.

I think it's appropriate. What's a white robot name? Roberta. I would make it a white name. I think it's appropriate. Well, robot. What's a white robot name? Roberta could be white. I probably wouldn't name it. I know white Roberta's. Jennifer. I'd probably just call it robot. Wait, do people still?

Robot. That's so demeaning. But I don't want it to have feelings. Do people still name their children Linda, Jennifer, like these type of kind of... Ruth. Well, Ruth I know is a popular name again. It is? But Linda, maybe what else?

Baby Ruth? You name your kid after a fucking... No, your daughter is here. Who's my daughter? Your son. Your son. She skews mail. He can't.

He has bad eyesight. I can't see him either. But I hear his shuffle. Are you guys shooting something? Yeah, come in. We're ending. You can sit right here. They asked me to come. What?

I thought we were all one family. Bobby, what do you think about having an AI girlfriend named Nastia? Would you get an AI girlfriend? Pass the mic to him. Do they have a vagina? Do they have a vagina? Yeah. Do they have a vagina?

No. They don't have one? No vagina. Why? I like it. They have a vagina, but it's in the butthole. Does it work as well?

The same way? It re-wettings itself. Is there poo flavor? Yeah. If you want. You can put a spray on. You can put any flavor you want. It's like a flavor packet.

It's like a vape. It's like a vape. It's icy. It's an icy. How are you? You good? Don't pat her in the head that hard. It's so funny. I like any affection.

The other day I dissed her. How? I knew you were, too. I thought this was fun. So we were at the comedy store, and I knew Adam Sandler was upstairs. Because I told him. He told me, and I was going to go up to say hi, and she goes, can I come with you? I go, no.

And then her face got all weird. No, it didn't. Yeah, dude, you got all weird, baby. What's up? I was five plays ahead of you. Yeah? I said, oh, here's Bobby. I'm going to tell him about Adam Sandler.

He's going to go up. I'm going to ask him to come. He's going to say no. What do you think was going to happen up there? And then what was the end? He's going to say no, and then everybody's going to laugh. Wait, did you talk to Adam Sandler? Mm-hmm.

You did. Yeah. What did he say? You weren't up there very long. He goes, hey, Bob. I go, hey. And he goes, what's going to say no, and then everybody's going to laugh. Wait, did you talk to Adam Sandler? Mm-hmm. You did? Yeah. You weren't up there very long. He goes, hey, Bob. I go, hey. And he goes, what's going on? I go.

Did you call him Ad if he called you Bob? No. I go Captain Sandler. Oh. I call him Captain Sandler. And then I just sat there for a second while he was writing, and I kind of went, okay, I guess I go. And then I left. You got the vibes that he gave you? I got the vibe, yeah, yeah guess I go. And then I left.

You got the vibes that you gave her back? I got the vibe, yeah, yeah, yeah. So no AI girlfriend. I mean, is it a real thing? Warm pussy, warm everything. No, this version just knows how to, like, exactly what to say. It's taught what to say to you. He doesn't care about people.

He doesn't want to hear anyone say anything. Yeah, I like it when they're like, oh. So you like the dolls. Can I put autism in there? I love autism. Oh, yeah. You could do that. You think so?

You can program anything, I think. I can put some autism in there. Yeah, what else? You have to clean it, though. What? He's not going to clean anything. That's what I was thinking. But you've got to keep it clean.

Is it a physical thing, though? Yeah, it could be. I think it's a... Maybe he thinks it's a real doll. Go ahead. Is it a physical thing, though? Yeah, it could be. I think it's a... Maybe you think you want a real doll, and then... Go ahead. There's a couple versions. So one is just, like, an emotional... I don't want emotions.

He doesn't want emotions. Okay, so you want a sex doll. And spit on you and stuff? Oh, that's sexy. Yeah, can you put a little... Can you put, like, Doug Stanhope's, like, personality in there? She, like, smokes bigger. It's, like, the perfect woman.

Anyway, I'll see you. Bye. Bye, Bobby. Stan Hope's like personality in there she like smokes it's like the perfect woman yeah yeah yeah anyway I'll see ya bye bye Bobby I love the white on white okay aww on what

his where's Esther she is um not it's just a one time thing what is this is this where you're doing it now

yes you've been doing it here yes this is the second one yes yeah okay I like it it's cute Yes. You've been doing it here? Yes. This is the second one. Yes. Okay. I like it here. It's cute, right?

Isn't it great? Yeah, it's awesome. Annie, do you want to wrap it up? Slugs, thank you so much for being here. We want to thank our special guest, Bobby Lee. I'm just kidding. We want to thank our beautiful Jessie. You cut me out of the whole thing.

Yes, we're like, we just put Bobby's face over yours oh my god didn't I do that on something oh I did it with Josh it's his face but my voice saying we should go to

Thunder Down Under Thunder Down Under baby we know Hunkamania check these girls out at Hunkamania two weekends ago and we want you to push the

subscribe like comment and push that little bell so you get all the notifications and we're just having a blast we had so much fun we'll see you guys next week thank you jesse