Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Annie Depp v. Esther Heard

Episode Date: May 10, 2022

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missouri august 19th through 20th Pittsburgh Tempe Coluso California Kansas City Missouri Irvine a lot more just go to Annie Letterman.com slash shows and you guys next week I will be in Minneapolis and Chicago I can't wait to come back to the Midwest these tickets will sell out please get them at Esther on ice.com and I'm also coming to Denverver and austin is rescheduled and dc is rescheduled i'll see you guys there oh is this our show are we doing the show i'm starting with mouth guards today i went to a tmj doctor and he gave me a mouth guard i have a day mouth guard and a night mouth guard welcome to the dark side i actually don't i don't have a dark side i don't have a mouth guard i just have the energy of someone that would you i mean scream mouth guard

yes thank you you spittle like you have a mouth guard in but my mouth guard made my grinding worse but i'm assuming you have a different it's not that tight yeah it's like but i don't have that yet they they did the thing where they mold your teeth and everything i wish that i would have gone that route instead i made what i thought was a questionable decision during the time and now i'm thinking it was a poor decision overall was remember we talked about getting the botox for the tmj what a fucking mistake for me you got it for me yes i never told you you kind of look like you got it what your face is a little i didn't get it recently when did a while back did it help but do we need it no it helped with a pain because it didn't allow me to clench but it changed the shape of my face so badly that i lost the i like

my face being plump and fat and round like that's what i yeah you look like a hollow-cheeked skeleton no i don't have it anymore it's been like a year though but it made me like exactly that it made me kind of hollowed out. And maybe that's the appearance some girls like. I don't like it for myself. And it compromised my smile. Like, I love how big my mouth is. I don't want to minimize. We all do.

Carlos, please look into my eyes. I love how big my mouth is. This narrative of you and Carlos makes me so uncomfortable. Wait, tell me why. Because I have my theories of carlos no no um i think it's funny but i i just can't see it let's prove her wrong carlos there is like actually there is a new russian tv show where you have to guess which one of the guys on the show is gay they stole from us no it's all just you lined up though. One in a wig, one without a wig.

There's a lot of controversy around it because they're calling it homophobic. But if they're right on who's gay, they get $28,000. Oh, I'd be rich. Which is 2 million rubles. It's not a lot in America. But yeah.

I would lose this show. I've only like solely dated gay guys, I think. But you can also like, who knows if they're gay? You can seem gay and not be gay. Well, yeah, it's definitely a homophobic concept for sure. That said, I want to be a contestant on it. And you, if you're gay and you pull off being straight, do you win money?

You should. It is considered, yeah yeah ultra homophobic and the producer behind it was also in the government oh okay oh really that's bad yeah so it's like state-run anti-gay tv isn't russia anti-gay like yeah they're not very good to the gays and the show is called I'm Not Gay. Where male contestants just compete to prove how not gay they are. That is sad.

That is so sad. That's what I have to do every week here. I'm always on this show. I don't think I'm good at it. You like the attention. You love it, Carlos. Hey, let me tell you something, Carlos.

I'm a proponent for your anti-gayness, okay? Thank you. Yeah, I feel like I serve the other side i want you to you definitely serve it um i want you to be yourself okay well i am myself and you still call me gay okay i just think you'd be more yourself okay um but okay wait carlos i wanted to tell you something so i it was my my friend club soda kenny who's like this uh he's the security guard for Jim Norton. And I think he works with Bill Burr and Madonna and Amy Schumer and stuff. He's really cool.

He's this big, amazing man, Club Soda Kenny. But it was his birthday the other day. And I had a picture of him deep-throating a banana from when I used to open for Jim Norton. And I wanted to post it for his birthday. But I knew it was in the beginning of my Instagram. So I scrolled back and I scrolled back and I went through my entire Instagram and it's so good you guys please go through my I mean hilarious since day one but you know what I noticed one of the I in the beginning I you know I didn't have that many likes I didn't have that

many followers guess who was one of my likes who Carlos loyal he's been my friend for a long time. So anyone that wants to hate, we have a dynamic, okay? There you go. I feel like you're not even just reminding the audience, you're reminding yourself. Like, I feel like you forgot. I was like, oh, we've been friends for a while. Yeah. Well, things got weird since I stole the Brody shirt.

The Brody sweatshirt. Oh, yeah. Can you imagine that? No, I'll like, you know, I can probably clean that. I can figure that out, that sweatshirt out for you. Annie, are we post-egg extraction? They scooped me out. I feel scooped.

Do you really? Do you ever feel? Yes, I feel terrible. Do you ever feel like, have you ever imagined what it's like to be the ice cream container after the scoop? You just think of the scoop, right? Yeah. Oh, I've been scooped.

You really feel? I feel scooped. No really feel i feel scooped no way i feel scooped what is it do you it's not it feels like it feels like cramps ab workout and something else some scoop a scoop yeah a scoop yeah but you're done now right like now you're on the way up yeah it's all done the eggs are being well i did decide to we decided to make embryos which is like if roe versus wade gets turned over and they make me make all them like if they're like you have to have all of them i'm gonna have the best reality show wait we'll carry some

as six for esther six for me yeah yeah no we're dividing those eggs up yeah you got i feel like you got a lot of it why 24 eggs then 14 were like mature then they fertilize 12 so then they're gonna see how many from that they're gonna send i feel like i'm scared of your eggs like they're gonna bully me so you're a little horny you love being bullied by me don't play this game but like the eggs it's like a whole new thing are you horny for annie's eggs i'm down. I'm hungry for her eggs. Oh my God. Should we cook the extra ones up? Yeah. You know how Just Eggs comes frozen? But it is like, I'm like, don't worry about abortion.

You should be attacking me. This is crazy. What did I just do? Oh, you're like feeling like you're drunk with scientific powers. It's very weird. You've been harvested. I've been, it feels strange it does feel weird i feel empty and very full at the same time so cool i went to an acupuncturist today and

i felt like when she put the needles in like air was just gonna shoot out like i'm i'm honestly so jealous that you got that done like that now you know you have them they're out yeah even though i've always said that i don't ever i've i've given you controversial advice i feel like our whole friendship i've always said that you don't need to freeze your eggs because your eggs are always going to be fine and i feel validated because you got so many eggs i will say that you can't really take the advice from a younger person that's not frozen their eggs from that. But the reason that I, okay, and I did like those, I did like when people said that to me. Like, I loved when people were like, you shouldn't have to freeze your eggs. And I'm like, oh, great.

Okay, you're right. I'm just going to like. But it's a good insurance policy. But the thing is that I would then, once I started thinking about it, you know when you get like a Camry, you see Camrys everywhere? Yeah. Like, once I started being like, you know know what i'm not going to freeze my eggs every 42 year old to 47 year old that can't get pregnant just approached me and told me to freeze my eggs i swear to god everywhere i'd go someone go just do it i wish i did it really i swear but i think it's just it depends on the

person it's just like who is it and then the whole reason i decided to do this was because It's just like, who is it? And then the whole reason I decided to do this was because after I got vaccinated, I went and got like a blood test and they checked my FSH score and it was just way lower than it had been right before I got the vaccine, which I later found out was because they tested me at the wrong time in my cycle. But I freaked out and just that freak out made me realize like I do want to have kids and I do want to like have the options. I'm glad I did it.

It was – Dr. Wong was amazing but it was definitely a lot. It was like stabbing myself with hormones every day. How many days did you have to do the stabbings? I think it was 10 days. I don't even know. I'll blend it in. Yeah, it wasn't like – I guess in the long run it wasn't that long and it's not like that bad.

Like I'm here. I'm fine. And it's for a better cause. And I'm glad that I was finally able to have enough money to do it. Give me your belly. It's so full. Sana, sana, colita de rana. Sana, sana.

That's what my Mexican friends always say when I have a herida, an injury. Licks. Colita de rana is like, I think it's like the tail of a frog. So it's some type of positive curse I put on you. Do mine. Do my vagina. It hurts. And also is the tail of a frog.

Does it go inside it? The tail enters it? I, so did you guys see the news about how Roe v wade is like supposedly going to be overturned um it's funny because i got like a few dms from people that are like why haven't you spoken up about roe v wade i'm like turn your dms off bitch you have to turn these dms off what are these people think my stance is on i'm like a i don don't know. I just. You're like, I'm a roe. You're fish roe. I had an abortion last year. That one was not by choice.

I know, but would you have not been allowed to have a roe? That's what I'm wondering. It's so sketchy that they want to overturn it. Like it doesn't make any sense. I think in California you would have been fine. Yes. Oh, that's true. Yeah.

And in Illinois. Yeah. Yeah. It's like you know i get the same messages as you and i'm like have i not spent the last decade talking about my own abortions i don't know what else you want me to say that's why they're overturning it bitch it's your fault be quiet about this stop shouting your abortions bitches let's pretend we don't get them well i also get i don't i personally don't love like the social media influx of like donate to this donate to this and that's me that's my trigger because i growing up like i did not

grow up with money and so whenever i saw like celebrities posting about where to donate i was always like fuck you you're rich like you donate i see some holes in the story why where were these celebrities posting when you were little no like literally like they would put videos out oh right trust me maybe i wasn't little but a hundred percent you've always been little you're like i just mean how i am now it was last week what do you mean i was just like are you trying to play it off like you're 17 right now dave accuses me of that all the time because we were talking about that show studio 60 on the sunset strip because i made a tiktok about it and um i was like i dave was like i i watched that show i'm like i remember when it came out i was really little i was like i was a kid and then we looked it up and i was fully like 18 is that the one with matthew perry yeah okay oh matthew perry matthew perry but yeah like Oh, Matthew Perry. Matthew Perry. But yeah, like, side note, obviously, we're pro-abortion.

Well, we're pro-choice. We're not like, go get an abortion. Woo, woo, woo. But I'm very, you know, careful about, I mean, I learned my lesson. Like, in the past, I've always just been like, around Trisha Paytas, even the first time we had her on Tiger Belly, I talked about my abortion like fully assuming that she would like be on board and I didn't take into consideration that she was having a difficult time at that time with trying to get pregnant and like conceive so like I was like oh shit storyline from Party of Five by the way oh is it I love Party of Five Jennifer Love Hewitt was adopted yeah and Nev Campbell got an abortion. And she was like, but I would have been an abortion.

And she like ran and cried and cried. Oh, God, that is a very. Now, did you try to get an abortion and then the Christians came and tore your shirt off at the clinic? Can I tell you a story about this shirt? I actually got this shirt on a trade. I traded. I wanted this shirt so badly from somebody. I traded her another white wife beater without holes.

But over the years, it's really just come apart. And I don't know if it's not going to hang on much longer. So this might be the last time I wear it. Maybe Esther will tear it off or Carlos. You know, I have a family member. I'm not going to say what, but a relative outside of my unit. Are they non-binary? No, but i just don't want them to like fucking sue me but i have a family member who curly sue over here curly don't sue me his dad

wanted to have him aborted and i and but didn't and i feel like this family member of mine, let's just say he's my uncle, like I feel like he has not let go of this fact and it's like he's carried this with him his whole life that his dad wanted him aborted. Who told him that? This is information you don't need. It's not like you're like, gather around, children. Let me tell you a bedtime story

about how your father wanted you to be a nun. You're supposed to reframe it as, oh, you were the surprise. Not, you know, we wanted you gone. you're supposed to reframe it as oh you were the surprise not uh you know we wanted you gone and one of those bins those plasma bins yeah because i feel like that would get inside someone's head like you are the unwanted i never went there i was like who cares because even our friend benji was his mom wanted to wow does that explain so much there's a darkness in him he knows he's not supposed to be here see so you guys are saying if you knew that you someone wanted to abort you it would affect you if the way it was framed like if i had a great childhood and it was not something if my parents

said that to me once like we actually thought about terminating the pregnancy because this was our situation and they said up to me once i would be like oh i understand that because i'm an adult and i understand how things can be hard but if every day they were like oh you were the mistake every fucking day of my life that's not even what we're talking about like because i i just have always been like grow up and get over it like i feel like this has like made this person crazy their whole life am Am I wrong, though? Like, would it? I, as a daughter of someone who was adopted, the abandonment issues that come with being adopted,

I would assume you maybe get some of the abandonment issues of someone saying, I literally didn't want you here. Yeah. Was his dad like, I made a mistake. I'm so glad you're here. I don't know. Yeah, we don't know the insides of all of it. So it's hard to say like don't say insides oh sorry her insides have been scooped i'm sorry it's my fault you got gutted

i got and then i went to the acupuncturist today yeah and she goes and she's this like really beautiful like older russian lady and i like her a lot and she's she's like oh you're gonna be such a good mother she was when are you thinking of like inseminating and i was like oh in like a couple years and she goes that long and i'm like i just spent all this money to do all this thing so i didn't have to have this pressure on me bitch yeah i'm gonna have a talk with her but i do want to ask you about that though now that you know that there is an embryo like does it make you kind of curious to see like wow i could get that done today if i wanted to it's not that but i did feel i started to feel like maternal over my eggs like i wanted to sit on them and hatch them like i want

to sit on them and hatch them see you're making me wish it was actually eggs that sounds so fun you're so weird you're so weird how like you could bounce on them eggs yeah like you can like see them and hold them while they're growing. You know what? Here's what I'll say. Esther, you have a point. Did you keep your abortion, by the way? I feel like you're stroking your abortion. No, but I think like when I was pregnant for three months for no reason, I...

Do you want to explain your type of what it was? Oh my God. Well, okay i i talk about it in my stand-up and i feel like i'll save it for that but it was traumatizing as fuck because when i got after they do the abortion they tell you um they test it and then they tell you like what what was wrong and i had this like super rare kind of miscarriage where they were based – it was so fucking traumatizing. They're like, so now that you know, you know, it didn't work out. Also, you can't try again for six months to a year and you might – it might develop into cancer. They were literally like you might need chemo because it was it was a called a partial molar pregnancy which annie is obsessed with anyone i know to have a pregnancy called molar

but like well you grew something kind of cool yeah but the biggest hyper one of the bigger hypochondriacs i know to be like it could turn into cancer but you handled it well i it's like almost when that things are that traumatic, you just, there's nothing else. But survive. Yeah. I actually think, who was I talking to? Someone I was talking to was like,

I think Esther had an ego death from weed. Like usually people do like strong hallucinogens to like. Are you sure it wasn't the NyQuil or the DayQuil? I will say I do think there's truth to like going through something traumatic and you just come out of it a different person. say I do think there's truth to like going through something traumatic and you just come out of it a different person. And I feel like that's what the miscarriage really did for me.

And like I look at it like I learned that I can get pregnant if I want to. Yeah. Like I because before that I didn't know if I was going to be able to because for some reason my mom always told me that I was going to have a hard time, which is really weird. My mom too. Very weird thing for moms to do. What? I wonder where that comes from.

I wonder if they're just trying to scare us into doing it. That's what it must be. You're speechless. My mom said, well, my mom said to me, it was actually funny. She was just like, well, I just thought you were like such a slut, like you would have been pregnant by now just so funny for me i think it's because my dad's mom struggled to get pregnant and that's why it's kind of rare for his generation that he's a only child yeah because they struggled but like for me i just look at it like i learned that it's easy to get

pregnant if i want to and i'll do it again when i want to but i'm not necessarily ready again you learned that you could miscarry on keep calm and keep calm and miscarry and also how common miscarriages are yeah did you feel like was there any sort of like relief of like the sphere of motherhood when it happened no actually I think later but you guys I cannot stress to you enough how traumatic it was to be told that moment where they're like, so it's not it's not there anymore. Like, I just I remember like the mask I was wearing. I had to throw it away because I was so full of snot and tears. And yeah, it just was really like i'm comfortable talking about it now like

almost a year later because i'm through it i'm a drug addict now just kidding uh but you know i've worked through it and i'm still working through it but i'm not going to deny like especially to people who've experienced that like that initial trauma because you'd gotten yourself like into the yeah you think you're you've been you like you said yeah you're feeling maternal over your freaking eggs there you go yeah yeah so you get it and you've had several abortions and so let's move to the other area of female reproductive we are we were such a good mix of different options um but that's exactly what this whole roe versus wade thing is like it's not an abortion isn't one thing it's 50 different you know situations and circumstances and joys and sadness and everything like it is such a

complex thing that you can't just say oh well, well, abortions are bad for who? For what? Yeah. For when? By the way, if I didn't get an abortion when I had my miscarriage, which some people don't need it, like the tissue will just go away. But if I hadn't, it would have literally turned into cancer. Right. In my fucking uterus.

That's so crazy. I would have had cancer if I didn't get it sucked out. Guys. Yeah. what the hell and also it's just like there's no it's like it's so judgmental to like you don't know what anyone's reason what what if the supreme court is like so we did take that into consideration that esther would have had cancer and we we approved this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy. Life can be overwhelming and many people are burned out without even knowing it. Symptoms can include lack of motivation, feeling helpless or trapped, attachment, fatigue, and more. I've had all of those.

We're all like acting them out right now, by the way. Esther's like half asleep. Most of us just associate burnout with work, but that's not always the case. You can be burned out for more than just your work. We were just in a global pandemic. We were just all in a very weird, traumatizing thing that everyone went through. There's a war going on. There's crazy things.

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I did not want to see anyone. Well, I calledie right before therapy and i i just it was just a really bad day for me and i didn't want to see anyone on video not in person and i had the best session over the phone and that's an option for you was it because i annoyed you so much on facetime that you were like i'm done with like seeing people sounds like we all had a rough week last week i I'll just leave it at that. It's much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can be matched with a therapist

in under 48 hours. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. And it's all love. And Trash Tuesday listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-e-l-p.com slash trash tuesday let's talk about liquid death because it's my favorite drink and you would be i think you might be dead without it because you did need something like to make you feel cool i really did water this thank you this green is my

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It is a little frustrating because I remember like, I am a little embarrassed how ra ra I went during the women's movement but I do feel more about because it was I was triggered it wasn't like it was not a grounded thing and it's okay to be triggered but I was just like the most like raped and raw I'd ever been and it was just like it just felt I just felt so like i was just very unhinged which is okay to be in and whatever but i just i honestly the main thing i'm embarrassed about was the pussy the hat the hat that's what i gathered yeah it's really the hat yeah it's just they tricked us they tricked us they tricked us whoever made that it was not that's what i feel

i think that if you had just gone and walked without regular you would have just been fine you're so traumatized by the it's just so it was are there pictures I could find a picture well then let's burn them so you don't feel traumatized by the memory we won't post it you don't get to see my pussy hat picture Carlos was all psyched he's like oh I get to put a picture in um but I remember my guy friends being like oh oh, abortion is not going to be overturned. Like, I was like, how do you know? Right. How do you know? I will admit, though, that I would have been on their side and been like, of course abortion won't be overturned.

Are you crazy? You just think that it's we're so far past past that that there's no way that we can regress as a society in that way because you know like you've i've i've used plant parenthood you know like i that's always been at my disposal and i've always felt very safe in knowing that like as a woman living in california but like but i guess you know i can't get to you comfortable did i ever tell you guys that so when i first moved to la and i was so broke and i i would do all my um gynecological what is it gynecological whatever i mean that's so embarrassing i was i know it's usually but i would go to planned parenthood frequently and uh they would always send you the nurse was hot

give me the duck bill they would always send you home with like a bag of condoms and i was in a committed relationship at the time and so i didn't use condoms whatever uh did he use them with the other girls i really hope he did i'm not sure um i'm like how far do i want to go into that but but so one day i finally went to go get my car washed and i got a detail because i had learned what detailing was at age 22 and when i came to pick up my car all these guys were standing outside it laughing and staring at me and i was like what is going on and they get to my car and it's all cleaned out but there's like three huge bags of condoms and i'm like these guys think i'm a fucking hoe well they're unused

yeah and also hoes don't even go know yeah annie i'm allergic sex sucks and my vagina smells like rubber um wow okay wait have you had planned parenthood experiences i've been going to planned parenthood since i was 16 years old that was my spot in santa fe yeah and they gave you that government card that gave you you know like basically free i always got my birth control from there i always got my pap smears from there my checkups my s anytime i needed to be tested i used planned parenthood like i got all my did you guys ever do the depo shot i never got the oh that got me it took my period away for one year and then i got it for six months straight i had my period honestly i was like anemic I think that's like you can use that in court as a reason why you come undone.

Like anyone, like I always thought this like. Come undone. It's funny. Like I remember when Christina Aguilera, like everyone was really like just shitting on her for putting on this weight and for not like being the old. She was so skinny. Yeah. Oh, my God. And then she comes out and

says like she had been on the depot shot and i'm like look i think that a lot of things can be solved you know there's a twinkie defense the guy who killed harvey milk um he was like oh he couldn't find milk for his twinkies so he killed him well his defense in court was i ate shitty for i ate just straight sugars for however long and And I became crazy from it. They call it, you could pull it up. It's called the Twinkie defense. But I don't know if he got off,

but that was a defense that he used. But I think that the depo shot is like the- Esther's gotten off to Twinkies before. I was going to say, for me to not know about that is a missed opportunity. So the Twinkie defense is a is

that it's not a recognized legal defense let's just but they use that right but i think that the depot shot is like i think is passable in court is saying look my it caused psychosis how did you feel on the depot shot i was like woo and on my period this is awesome i was like this is the shit i love the shot and then i got off and i was so upset i mean six months just no underwear left no couches left on bled on even on the lowest dose of birth control i almost got into a car accident for like trying to get to a gas station to get ice cream. Was that when you were doing Whiskey Ginger? No.

No, that was bad friends when I drove down the stairs. If you saw the stairs, you all would have done the same thing. You'd get it. I know. It's at the same studio that does Whiskey Ginger. Yeah. I saw the stairs, Esther. It doesn't look like a driveway at all. have done the same thing you'd you'd get it i know it's at the same stairs as a picture yeah we saw i saw the stairs esther it doesn't look like a a driveway at all my most sexist moments are when i see a car abandoned half on and half off of a curb i always go a woman or bobby

two options there sexist and racist either way um my planned paranoid memory though is i had uh this woman go she was like giving me a cervical exam and she goes oh do you want this skin tag removed and i went skin tag and she goes yeah you have like a skin tag it was like a like a i guess a hemorrhoid it turned into like a mole on my asshole and i go what i was like so embarrassed i was like i have a skin tag on my head and she was like yeah why don't you come in next week to get it removed i go okay i come in next week though oh she doesn't work here anymore and then i was like oh okay so who's gonna and they're like we don't do that here and i was like wait you can't just like tell me i have a skin tag on my asshole and then leave it there the country and then she's gone she escaped

she's like i don't want to touch this but But eventually I got it removed. But it was a whole surgery. Did you get, but it wasn't a hemorrhoidectomy? Is that what they call it? Because those are painful as shit. No, I don't think it was. It was just they removed it and then they sewed it up and I had, but I had to wear, I remember I went in and the guy, it was a valet at the hospital and he was hitting on me in the way and I was, wore leggings.

I didn't know this was going to be a thing. I thought it was going to be like, get out of here, girl. So I go, I valid my car and the guy's like, damn. He's like, look, checking me out. I go in. I get the surgery. They literally put me in a surgical, like it's a whole like operating room. And then they're like, all right, you have to wear this ice pack out.

So I had this giant diaper. Yeah. I looked like I had a dick like on both sides of my body. And I went out and the guy was like, oh, oh, Dan. And you could hear him get so upset when he saw my protruding asshole. Oh, no. Because I know those things are really, really painful. Like they say hemorrhoidectomies are as painful as like, I think, a gunshot to your calf.

I don't know how they're able to compare the two. That person's had a rough life. Also, why does a gunshot to the calf. I don't know how they're able to compare the two. That person's had a rough life. Also, why does a gunshot to the calf sound good? GSW, baby. You want one? BB gun. I'll do it. My calves are sore all the time.

I want that. She's a walk, walk, walker. I tried to talk to Esther the other day. She goes, I can't talk. I'm walking. I was like, you're the only person in the world. That's when you talk is when you're on a walk. She's like, it's hard.

I'm like, oh, my God. It really is. I can do a walk she's like it's hard i'm like oh my god it really is i can do one thing i cannot believe it i'm like this bitch and i also always have people hitting me up to join me on my walks and i'm like no like i can't i can't do it anymore your business now yeah like my well no my walks are like mental health like they're for you listen to music or do you just think i do it all but i just have to be like i'll listen to a podcast i'll listen to music i'll just silently what podcast do you listen to trash tuesday sadly that's true they're for you and for you only i want to ask you guys some this question though do you guys ever feel like your best ideas like you come to life and all of a sudden you have 50 ideas when you're in the shower yeah why is that is it the hot water like

fully dilating our fucking blood vessels i think maybe you're kind of like shutting yourself off to the outside world or something i don't know i have a trash tank idea then what is it but can i just interject yeah you i will have to be honest that i have not taken a shower in like three years so i don't relate why don't you try and see if your brain comes alive maybe i will there's something about i don't know what it is it's like what does it hurt you you're like oh i just i take baths and i even have like a little shower head in my bathtub. Oh, I bet you do. So I just sit under it. I bet you do. I bet you would.

No, I've never done that. Really? Yeah. That's the only reason to have a detachable shower. Yeah. And I've always had one. I've never. That does not.

You are just. I always think I'm going to peak in my elder years. You are really ready for it. Like you are ready for like a geriatric bathroom now. Oh, yeah. You are just setting yourself up to just be sponge bath. It's true. It's true.

Okay, I want to hear your trash tank idea. I think, okay, so when I'm in the shower and I have all these swirling ideas in my head, I never have a notepad. I never have the phone ready. Like I want to make 50 phone calls and I just want to spew ideas. So I want to create a bathroom board, a shower board. Basically, when you're having those ideas in the shower, it's a waterproof area to write down all the ideas.

Does it exist? Yeah. There's something called, I think it's called Aqua Notes that I got for Dave once. Aqua Notes? Yeah. It's like a notepad and a special pencil that like can get wet and you put it up in the shower. Oh, fuck. They beat us.

They beat me. But I actually like the idea of a board. And I even think that it should just be like a big decal. They do have it already. Yeah. But honestly, it sucked. Doesn't it hurt? I didn't like it.

Doesn't it hurt to realize you're a hack? Yes. No more great ideas down the drain. That's what that says. Doesn't it hurt to realize you're a hack? Yes, no more great ideas down the drain. That's what that says. Doesn't that hurt? I'm a hack. No, one time I had a joke and I looked it up online and you could Google image it. It was a meme.

That happens. That happens. A meme? Yeah, all weather, EDC, pocket memo, notebook, waterproof. Of course they would have a waterproof memo book. No, I think your idea is better. I like a board. It's dead, Esther.

It's down the drain. Okay. Esther's trying so hard to keep trash tank alive by the way whitney cummings post a picture of herself she goes roast me esther goes i can't you're flawless literally that's what i felt i and you know what else my strategy was all those people roast her and then she'll be down on her on herself and she'll have nowhere to go but me people were tagging me like get her annie i go i can't give it to her when she wants also also that picture that she posted of herself quite possibly the tannest she's ever looked so beautiful the most gorgeous she's ever looked hair right so you're not wrong yeah that photograph she's flawless i was just speaking my heart i'm like look at her i love her she does love a pink and red together that's so terrible to do i would never tell people to roast me really

no roast me give me compliments hey guys i'm gonna post this i only want on my birthday i always say that in lieu of presents compliment me but also send me presents to the comedy story one year i had like a really small group of people over for my birthday and were they short or just not and like i made us all sit in a circle and everyone had to go and take a turn telling them telling their favorite memory of me it was my favorite birthday ever was it last year yes how old were you so how did you announce it esther guys, I really just want to sit in a circle and I want you guys to. Yeah, I was like, OK, let's all sit in a circle. And like we did it and it was so much fun.

I don't think. Did everyone else have fun or was it just you? Probably just me. Was Dave there so mad? Yes. Stewing in a circle. Come to think of it, it was just me, Dave and my mom. And your mom's like, I that it's uh hard for you

to get pregnant that's my i do want to shout out my mom for never applying that pressure on me ever in any direction at all she's just like if you want them great if you don't i totally understand yeah like she's very like in fact um she hasn't said this to me but to my sister she's like don't have kids you you're very happy you seem very you know um you know like good in your skin and you like your life she's like i get it don't have kids does your mom have more than just you two um i have a sister who is adopted who's older so it's the three of us um but she comes from a family of ten and in that family of ten or siblings of ten ten siblings in that family there's a lot of murder and chaos so i kind of understand why she maybe feels like hey murder is

hanging up on a cross on the holy week you're you have an older sister who's adopted yes yeah but she was adopted when she was 12 years old and how old were you when she was 12 i was uh five or six who adopted her you're my my family my father did so she has my last that's juliana's mom oh okay yeah look at carlos it got horny it wasn't horny i was just saying i also know yeah but i do want to shout her out for never putting that um the typical pressure of being like hey have kids now i want to shout her out for that that's my mom didn't do that but you're oh no you're not only child and they already have kids no my mom has grandkids my dad doesn't but my dad is like your mom my dad's like i don't care don't don't do it but now he wants you to have kids

right no he's he's he's very chill about it yeah he doesn't there's no pressure he just wants me to focus on working and not let anything get in the way and when when i had the miscarriage he was like i'm just glad you're okay oh that is sweet yeah yeah yeah yeah because i would have sucked if everyone was like we're so like you're like i don't want to deal with your sadness too yeah which i feel like ultimately that's unavoidable yeah you are a hard patient though i will say oh but what you are such a hard patient esther you just got uh this you got your um dnc right you got this procedure done do not do anything strenuous don't travel don't walk around airports this is your time to be in a wheelchair of all the times

i was so determined to not let having to get that procedure affect my plans with my best friend for her birthday and i just i fucked up and you're so obsessed with christina i know does she feel this way about you no she makes it very clear not at all but yeah i had a really hard time after that yeah i think it took like four people four of us to be like you are not going anywhere and then you still did yeah it was you and dave were so scary to me at that time you guys were mad at me and i was like off in a different place right yeah but yeah that was i'm sure i've talked about this before but like that night where i overdid it and then had the worst pains of my life like i was on the bathroom floor in the basement and i

was like it was the first time in my life where i was like i'm okay to die i was like i can die here right now this was your ego death this was it i was like i'm in so much pain and i'm on the floor of the basement bathroom i was like this is the i can go out here and that's okay i was really comfortable with that but um then i took a hydrocodone and i'm gonna be honest with you can be really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you have high interest debt. And sometimes it can be even harder to ask for help. And that's where Upstart comes in. You guys, saying goodbye to high interest credit card debt is one of the first steps towards financial independence. But the interest month after month can feel like you're

in a never ending hamster wheel. I know that pain. It is just one of the most stressful things, and I don't want to have to think about this. This is why Upstart, I think, everyone should have. Yes. And my financial advisor does tell me to do it. Yes. Esther. Upstart-powered personal loans can help you pay down high interest debt all online with simple and easy-to-understand payment terms. And Upstart has helped over 1.8 million customers on their path to financial freedom whether it's paying off credit cards consolidating high interest debt or funding personal expenses upstart can help you get one fixed monthly payment with a clear payoff date it's like a one-stop shop for all of your things to get paid off basically whether

you don't yeah you don't have to be like making sure that you made all of your payments on everything. And by the way, it's hard enough for me to just keep my credit cards in my purse in general. I threw one in the trash and started getting charged at a golf place. Okay. What I really like too is that you can check your rate in minutes for loans between $1,000 to $50,000 without impacting your credit score. Don't wait and check your rate today at upstart.com slash Tuesday.

That's upstart.com slash Tuesday to check your rate today. And don't forget to use our URL to let them know we sent you. Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit income and certain other information provided in your loan application. Go to upstart.com slash tuesday it's an ego rebirth but so and that's now you didn't call it a DNC, right? It is. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. The DNC is also the DNC, right? The Democratic National Convention. Yeah. Yeah. I was just I was like Sam Tripoli was in my head. That's what you call an abortion. An abortion. Pretty much.

So an abortion is that painful and horrific. And people are like people are just getting it for fun. Yeah. Just enjoying a good old. And even when I talk about my abortions i talk about it in a very like dismissive oh it was easy i felt relieved but that's just not the case like i was my last abortion i was emotionally miserable i was physically miserable you're bleeding for like a whole fucking month like it's you know it's a very hard decision i know i i feel this

pressure to talk about it like hey guys it's nothing because that's a very hard decision i know i i feel this pressure to talk about it like hey guys it's nothing because that's what i want to promote yeah but it is very hard on a woman and those choices are so taxing it's really hard it's sad and depressing either it's like so because i just was so angry that i had to deal with it and that it was getting in my way and you just feel like helpless yeah but yeah you guys that's a good point it fucking sucks and dude guys abortions blow dead abortion pill hurt like the cramps that i got from that pill i was doubled over and on top of that when i went for a recheck because when you take the abortion pill they're like hey you have to check whether or not it you

know the pregnancy was terminated and it wasn't that happened to my friend she had a double so i had to get it then i had to get the dnc and so you know it's not something maybe i've you know i've made the mistake of being very like ahaha i've terminated pregnancies i've killed babies but you're just also that's how i cope that's obviously that's clearly how all three of us cope yeah i try to make it like light and funny but no there was nothing light and funny about it like it hurt my heart deeply i actually was going through an old finsta account i had and um which has always had two followers dave and carlos for the last 10 years and i saw an old post from when i was really depressed. This

was unrelated to the miscarriage. This was January of 2020. I think we all remember how bad I was. And I saw on this dramatic post I wrote about how sad I was. I wrote, if you see me crying, please just laugh at me. That helps me. Like I was telling Dave and Carlos, like I want to be laughed at because laughter is like, it's so comforting to me. Yeah. I don't know. I just want to like highlight that if other people out there are like us. Did you, you liked my tweet at you today?

That was so funny. I saw her. Oh my God. What did you tweet at her? I have my hot Swedish neighbor waved at me. Yeah. And you wrote, let's have her on the podcast, which I was so glad you knew it was a woman. Was it though?

Yeah. Of course. She's fucking so hot. And then Annie wrote. I wrote, is your neighbor a red fish? Imagine you just texting them in your mouth.

Oh my God. No, she's. I know how to do Esther humor. Yeah. It is banana break time do you think that um when we get older and perhaps let's suppose dave has left you todd has left you bobby has left me we could just resort to being in an old lady thruple together? A million percent. Yeah.

We could do that with them. We would just be eating each other's pussies out? We could do that with our boyfriends. That's a good point. You know all I want is like a never ending sleepover. I want to live with friends so bad. And in fact, I would. Don't even get...

Don't do this with me because I will 100% commit right now to literally just renting a house for a month and living in it. Like we all live together. We have a month and it's so much fun. Like why... I know we should do, Annie.

Annie, you know what we should do. Esther, careful what you wish for because I think this is what Annie and I are going to do because we're trying to like just bring you out of your gay shell. We're going to force you to eat us out every fucking night. Every night. We're going to be like, you don't have a choice. I don't care if your neck hurts today.

We'll give you a hour in the morning, because we know she washes more than me. This is so weird, but like, okay. But you don't get anything in return you just have to eat us out every freaking day and you're gonna be like my neck muscles and i'm like i haven't come yet esther she's gonna be so annoying and you have to make us come to it's to completion make us fuck her mouth with our pussies we're gonna have to skull fuck her with our badges that is very interesting to me that concept do you ever like when you're mastering

do you think about really just like spreading it and licking it or is it more like playing with boobs and grabbing ass i do want to know the question we know there's not a guy there that's a good question what do you think of esther you guys i'll tell you what makes you guys it's you that's what it is what what makes like when i'm already super horny the idea that someone is like i like being spread open with fingers not by a penis why i like how you make it look like it's an iphone like they're spreading this big so like let's say for instance if someone's already like say fingering me but like to just

spread it open i like the sensation of that i think about that when i masturbate i um um i think about being fucked from behind and then being my ass cheeks completely being spread you would not have liked having that skin tag um but see but what do you think about like what finally what's the last thing you think about that really gets you there i'm that i don't first of all it's always changing you know i'm always evolving things are always different all right you can either do this or eat beylut do we have beylut for her we're like beylut beylut i love you saying beylut i do what you do the opposite i just white up your words.

I really do. It's way cuter. It sounds way cuter. What is it? Beylut is fertilized duck egg. Oh, that. It's delicious, but it has the feathers. It depends what stage it's in.

Oh, yeah. Jules eats it. Yeah, you eat the feathers. There it is. Oh, no. No? So you can either answer what you think about or you can eat one of those we should start we gotta do a real truth or dare on this bitch you guys we have next episode true

a true truth or dare with some nasty shit okay oh my god or maybe on the live oh that is so repulsive to me that is making me vegan again. Oh, oh. I was going to say something bad. Can I say it? Yeah. Is that what I'm talking about? That's much worse. I'm sorry.

You know, my friend just got, she had cysts in her ovaries removed recently. And when they took out the cysts, they were teratomas. They had the teeth the hair everything i don't like this conversation anymore teeth is where she draws the beaks and teeth feathers she was still on feathers i was trying to understand what was going on still but you know how like cats say for instance they have tiny little like protrusions in their penises. Like they have little hooks in their penises. So when they mate with a female cat, it kind of sinks into the pussy. So the cat can't get out.

Yeah, basically. Ew. Look. It's like their tongues. Like dick teeth. Ew. Oh, maybe dick teeth. Yeah.

You have spikes. You guys, I have to talk about this. I haven't been able to talk about this i haven't been able to talk about this yet this is what your final thought when you right before you come that's what i can do brandy's penis is so small that don't carlos has turned on a bat no i knew a dog with a small dick and everyone made fun of the dog and i always felt bad for the dog it's like he pisses all over his stomach because the there's nowhere for it to go it's so cute i'll send you a picture of his

penis i want to see it's actually so cute you probably want to suck it a little bit it's like a little nipple well i remember when i was looking to adopt a dog and i found this dog that was like so cute i was just in love with it and then when I went to go meet it at the shelter, it was so bad. Like it would only attack. And I'll never forget, its dick was so big. And I'm like. Oh, I always love a big dog. I have my dog Stubbs is the sweetest dog ever.

Oh, I love Stubbs. He just drags his dick on the ground. Yeah, he drags his dick all around town. So there's no correlation between like. No, his dick is so fucking big i would say it's bigger than bobby's or most men that i know actually he has such a big dick well you just got back at bobby for calling your pussy standard thank you maybe he meant like the standard hotel like it was it was very classic it's out of business now but you know it was even the downtown barari was in it every once in a while.

Stephanie Sambari was just sitting there for a job. Box girl. I was so jealous of the box girl. Wait, what's the box girl? Oh, my God. At the Standard Hotel on Sunset Boulevard, they literally behind the check-in counter was a clear box that a hot girl would just sit in on display. And they would just be on their laptop. She was on their laptop, like swinging their feet.

It was actually so cool and i applied and was i don't even think i was considered they would have all gone to jail can you imagine where's the kalilah tattoo did it go away yet no no it's never going away is it dave keeps bringing that up like it's just not fading i feel like it's only getting darker it does look darker let me see it this is so i hope it stays i don't care i love I feel like it's only getting darker. It does look darker. Let me see it. This is so funny. I hope it stays. I don't care. I love it.

I think it's so funny. I will be sad when it goes away. That's so funny. I said nuns. Nunsies. Did you guys see Kim Kardashian wearing Marilyn Monroe's dress? And it was right after I saw the Marilyn Monroe documentary. On Netflix.

I watched it as well. The missing tapes or whatever. Oh, really? On Netflix, I watched it as well. The Missing Tapes or whatever. Oh, really? Was it good? It was really sad. Yeah. Like everything from her relationship with Arthur Miller, like it just made me fucking sad. Yeah, I felt really similarly.

It was a real reminder that her life was so tragic. And even though I know... I do think Kim is an icon and i don't have a problem with her wearing the dress i thought it was such a cool cultural moment it literally brought tears to my eyes it was so amazing and fun to like i love that it like reignited our interest in maryland a little but i will say it made me realize kim's life is not tragic and maryland's was so tragic really i'm not offended by it but i'm like do your hair like her it's like annoying i'm like it doesn't look enough like maryland monroe to me for it to like be a win-win you know but it was cool i like you know what my favorite

part about was that there were rumors that they just hung out at ripley's believe it or not before because that's where they got the dress from. Yeah. Like the idea that they were like, oh, Pete and Kim are just on a date at Ripley's Believe It or Not. That is just one of the – Like they're just going to wax museums. And I guess maybe if you're a wax figure – And if you're early in a relationship –

You go through every Johnny Depp, which by the way, I'm so into the fake Johnny Depps now that real Johnny Depp is just crushing it. By the way look like him a little I never realized that I'll take that as a compliment his daughter is beautiful Johnny Depp imagine if you were the next captain Jack Sparrow what a win for us I don't know what to say you maybe could be it because he's kind of like fumbles around and and I look really good with eyeliner maybe high like that yeah um i have to say something really that i am scared to admit but when i listen to some of the johnny depp trial i a little bit related to amber heard and i want you to hear me out you want us to amber hear you it's very like first of

all my take on these kinds of relationships is that like it's usually it takes two to tango like i don't think there's ever typically one i mean sure there i can't i shouldn't speak generally but like it seems to me in this situation like it takes you to tango and like they were in a toxic thing that they had together but the thing first of all i'm not that kind of person like the yelling and whatever she was doing that was no not at all i've seen her yell at you a little bit and you were like can you believe what happened she wagged her finger in my face i'm like wow she's never been hit but the thing that i related to was when they would get into fights he would leave the room and she would go crazy and that is such a trigger for me like feeling

abandoned i just lose my ability to now imagine your dad wanted you aborted how would you feel bitch how would you feel i'd be like well i made it here i'm fine no you're so full of shit i swear i stand by that because i was also conceived on like a whim i was not conceived out of like people trying and wanting it was more like my mom wanted to move into his house and oh my god you are your mother's daughter yes thank you um but do you guys know what i'm saying like when you with the amber heard stuff um i i've done this in previous relationships where i feel like i wasn't like it was just toxic altogether where if the person would leave the room i couldn't deal with that person leaving the room so i would leave the house like i had to one up the leaving and one of the abandonment because I was so hurt in that moment

of them not wanting to solve something with me I don't do that anymore obviously yeah but when I was in my young 20s and just very like confused about like how to like cope with difficulties and relationships I would do that I'd be like as soon as they'd be like I can't talk right now I'd be like well that's it start I would start packing my stuff yeah and then I would do that. I'd be like, as soon as they'd be like, I can't talk right now. I'd be like, well, that's it. Start, I would start packing my stuff. Yeah. And then I would just leave the house and then ghost them. I packed.

Because I was just too hurt by that one move. So I'm going to one up their move. And that's so fucked up of me to have done that. But that feeling is what I had. Yeah. And I can hear it in her voice and in the things that she's saying in those tapes that are so hard to listen to um but she's so clearly she's so desperate for him to just like say i'm here with you and i love

you and it's i don't know it's sad he's also taking care of himself in that moment absolutely and i'm not because the way she's acting is so bad that i understand why when you're in a situation like that you have to just leave that's what you have to do because otherwise they're just going to keep yelling at you like a shit in your bed yeah did you hear any of it what are your thoughts I honestly I'm just reignited and really loving Johnny Depp he's just making me laugh so much and it's annoying if someone's like smirking in your face and stuff if you're in a fight like I'm sure he was doing that and I could see that making driving her crazy and stuff I don't know I'm trying to like it's hard because I am really trying to stay

out of people's business because I feel like every time I get in people's business it ends up being like so stressful for me or whatever so I've been like trying to not get people's business and that so this is the most being in someone's business you can but it is like and I'm friends with Stan Hope and stuff who's really close with Johnny Depp and stuff so I feel like I I'm already on the team Johnny just by association not that I have to be or anything but the clips I really like are when they catch her like faking her being an actress really oh yeah they'll catch her like she'll be like oh it's like she's a psycho dude really yeah she's fucking crazy yeah allegedly allegedly you know we gotta be careful on this show apparently you know what i just um i'm team

neither i think that he's doing it it's like you guys are obsessed with each other still too by the way can you imagine yes i actually believe that they're still into each other it's like why would you still be so attached to them because there's still houses well no because i think there's still so much unresolved hatred between them that i think that they couldn't have they couldn't be more bonded to each other in this moment i think it's gonna be years before they're able to shed each other off each other's systems and i i'm team neither just because i don't know um i i'm sure she she seems like she's been unhinged several times but he's also somebody who was a very messy addict so it's like both of you motherfuckers were messy as shit toxic as shit

you're both adults you couldn't figure it out i'm team fucking neither i'm like you you both deserve this this is nasty but it's just like because i've been in bad relationships like i've had two particularly horrible relationships and one was with this guy back in the day when I first started comedy, this fat, fat, fat fuck. And oh God, he was fat. And he was like really mean to my mom. And there was like all these, it was just such a fat. And I used to really want to like one up.

I would start to like stop hating him just like out of time and whatever. And then I would be like, I almost want to like hang out with him. I had to remember how much, because he would always without fail just do something horrific in front of me, like yell at his new girlfriend or something, or just be like such a psycho. And I would see him at like parties and stuff. And I'd just be like, you're here. And I never like gave up that. Because I just like, it was just, when you see someone make your mother cry two times,

it's like, how do you like, I just, but I don't give a, I never think about that guy i don't i'm kind of embarrassed about the whole situation i would not even say anything to him now like but i did i was like i liked hating him it was fun well there are some people i guess this i will but i wouldn't have cared if he told people things about me because i would people wouldn't have believed him do you know what i mean i think for johnny depp she said all this stuff about him and then he didn't get to say the stuff about her right so i think that's where there are some type of like fucking abusive types of people who just won't let it go it's like um in her case she did that op-ed right where it's like it it was already over it was sort of like probably not the most amicable split but it was still

over and then she just couldn't let it go she had to write that thing and kind of like you know she had to win right that's what it seemed like she had to feel that feeling of winning writing that op-ed saying all those things about him but needing to that have that win is like you're still so attached like how my other like toxic relationship that where i was not good in that relationship either like i really like got into the spin of it and it's just it's very nice to be with someone that does not act to me i'm never really like upset and it's very nice but when you have those people where it's like they just elevate and they love it and you're watching their face like excitedly getting you fucking worked up

that guy i don't I've worked on myself. I have no interest in being near him. I don't. But that's the only way to do it. It's just like clean cut. But even if you talk shit on me, I'd be like, I don't know. There's just like certain people where you're just like. Yeah.

I don't even care if you say anything about me. But she did it so publicly. I only really have one ex-boyfriend who I loathe with my every, like on a molecular level. Yeah. And he was just, it took me a year and a half to figure out he was a full-blown narcissist. Was a punch-through-the-window guy? No, no. I don't even hate him.

I offer him empathy and understanding because I'm like, I think that he deals with mental illness and stuff. And I'm like, all right, that's fine. No, but it was someone who was much older than me. The first guy that I dated when I was 22, he was 38. And he was physically abusive. He was emotionally abusive. I still think that he is, I don't know if I'm allowed to say this,

but I think he was dealing with his sexual identity. And we all know that closeted gay men can be very, very abusive. Are you here to hit us? Don't hit us, Carlos. Why are you coming up to us right now? Carlos. Scary.

But it was the first time where he was one of those types of guys that if I didn't completely extract myself, move far away, he would have just kept going and trying to like re-enter my life and trying to get a rise out of me some way so like i there are people like that and i do think that there is something about amber heard that made her feel like this is not resolved i want to keep you know fighting yeah but also don't you feel like with those narcissists too like did you ever like with my because i think i mean i this was a troubled guy so like i also have empathy i mean it's like love for all of them but like i just don't like it doesn't work anymore yeah but i was like thinking like there was one time when we after we broke up i needed to go back to the house

because i got locked out of where i was staying and so I need to go back to the house and I went back to our place and he was there and I wasn't like I had completely shut him out I wasn't talking to him or anything and so I figured out how to get my keys back and then there was like a second and I was like I went I went oh um how are you I just gave like one moment and he went and he did this like fake sad thing and i went no and then i left i was like absolutely not like i just saw him switch the which is what i saw on amber heard where she just switches the thing and i'm like i don't know if that's like a narcissistic thing or what i don't know but my narcissist ex-boyfriend um i this is when i didn't have a lot of money and i had these really um favorite cowboy boots that i owned and when i

asked you well he had told me hey you left your cowboy boots here and i was like oh this is a decision do i just leave them yeah um or do i just do i pick them up i was like fuck it like i don't have the money to buy a new pair they're my favorite so i go over there i do the the the far drive to pick up my cowboy boots and then when I get there he's like oh I only found one and then I was like oh fuck it I'll take the one because what he was doing was two weeks after he was like oh I found the other one of course right and I never picked up the second one so I have one cowboy boot if um good. Yeah. So I just have a left foot. I always say never get the thing back. There's nothing like, but you had to go to get that lesson.

Like once you got there, you realize like, oh shit. Yeah. Because I'm just like, there's nothing that's like worth my piece. Right. Just too terrified to retrieve the second boot. So guys, the second boot's not worth it. Just sever the ties. If you guys can find that boot for her, you'll get free merch.

Well, thank you, old sperm fox. Yes. I want to next time I want to have Todd tell you guys what it was like for him to jerk off in a cup. I'm really excited to hear that. The story is electric. You guys, please subscribe to this channel. Please comment on this video. Help us share this with friends.

Like, let's grow. Let's grow, grow, grow. Why did I say that? I'm tired. She's little. She wants to grow. You should get that surgery where they make you a couple more inches. Is that real?

Because when I was little, my dad told me about that. And I thought he was just teasing me. No, they haven't now. What? Yeah. I think the latest one on the he was just teasing me. No, they haven't now. What? Yeah. You can. I think the the latest one on the news was some guy who was like, oh, I'm five seven. But tomorrow I'll be five ten.

You know, whoa. It's like me and Carlos are freaking out. If it's only three inches, just do the dick. Do you know what I mean? Like, who cares? What do you mean? Do the dick. Just stretch your dick out.

Make your dick longer. It's like three inches doesn't matter i have to tell you something i don't have a dick oh i'm not talking about i'm saying in general the people i i will say this though i cannot i've seen you naked i cannot decide what i prefer in bed if i prefer a short king or a tall king or a medium medium kim i like them all like when i've had like my before bobby my ex was the last guy that I dated. He was like 6'4", this big buff, you know, footy player. And then, but when I got with Bobby, it was so brand new.

The stark difference of it. I loved, I had so much fun with him in bed. They climb you like a tree. It's amazing. I love short guys. One of the, like the best, like lovers. I hate saying that. But one of the best bangs best like lovers i hate saying that but one of the best bangs i had was this guy who was short and skinny and he would just climb me esther i don't

think that dream can ever be realized for you it's hard to find a guy i think smaller than you aside from brad williams right i know but that's what i'm saying but it would be a woman that's we're not even pretending all right see you guys next week