Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Annie is Engaged! & The Coppola Rom Com Rollercoaster w/ Robert Schwartzman

Episode Date: August 15, 2023

Thank you to our Sponsors: RocketMoney - Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to https://rocketmoney.com/trashtuesday Simply Spiked - Go to https://drinksimplyspiked.com/trashtuesday to find out how to get your hands on Simply Spiked Lemonade and new Simply Spiked Peach. More Robert SchwartzmanInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/robertschwartzman/Twitter: https://twitter.com/rcschwartzman Subscribe! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtonsOfficial Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8XTrash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday 0:00 Annie is Engaged!14:46 Robert Schwartzman Gives the Guys Perspective on Engagements / Robert Schwartzman’s Roller Coaster Engagement 45:26 Esther’s Engagement & Dry Wedding Plans50:33 Robert Schwartzman’s Wedding Reception Fiasco 56:02 Annie’s Wedding Plans58:34 Over the Top Wedding Vows1:06:13 Robert Schwartzman Somehow Predicted His Twin Boys1:14:50 An Update on Octomom & Redhead Seeds Send us your Trash Tuesday fan mail!c/o 7EQUIS LLCP.O. Box 5154Glendale, CA 91221 Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Rick and Esther Have a Time - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rick-and-esther-have-a-time/id1694264079 AnnieWood - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/anniewood/id1653515392 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: 7EQUIS Podcast Producer: Pete Forthun

After years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers, if we've learned anything, it's that there's always a catch. So when I heard that for a limited time all Mint Mobile wireless plans are $15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan, I thought, where's the catch? But after talking to them, it all made sense. There isn't one. Mint Mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online. They don't have retail stores or salespeople. Instead, they deliver premium phone plans directly to you. As you guys know, our friend Rick Glassman, he uses Mint Mobile. I learned about Mint Mobile through George Kimmel.

George is a busy guy. He takes the most business calls. And the fact that not a single call is ever dropped. And you can use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts. Say goodbye to your overpriced wireless plans. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with plans starting at $15 a month. And all plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. That is such a steal. To get this new customer

offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply statement mobile for details i was proposed to on a party bus on the way on the way to a chris angel show in vegas my parents were there todd's parents were there my brothers and their wives were there what's like tell me like the moment like are you sitting there on the party bus? Like, and what happened? I'm okay. I'm like, I, you know, I'm, I'm wearing the, the mom jeans in the family. And so, you know, I'm like, if I don't get my engagement ring in Vegas, like Todd's going to be, have two black eyes. Okay.

Todd's going to get his ass whooped. By two black guys. By two black guys. Yes. And they were in the party bus which was just in case he didn't do it uh i like hired muscle to force him to do it so i knew like i had a feeling that because all our family was coming that this was going to be the moment he was doing it and i wanted i mean i obviously would like as cheesy as possible so i did get uh no shade. Criss Angel, you are a little cheesy.

But my manager has a connect. And so I got my whole party into this Criss Angel show. And I was like, I thought maybe like Criss Angel would come from the ceiling, reveal like his nipple ring was really an emerald and proposed to me. But I guess Criss Angel was like, no proposals at my show. He has like a policy about proposals? Yeah, he was like, he didn't want it in the vicinity, like on the,

he didn't want it in the casino. Did his parents get divorced? Like, what's the issue? What's the trauma? I don't know what the trauma is, but I did, we did go backstage and hang out with him and he congratulated,

he knew it happened. He was happy, I guess it didn't happen in front of him. would have been so embarrassing honestly if chris angel was there stop wasting your money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash trash tuesday that's rocketmoney.com slash trash tuesday rocketmoney.com slash trash tuesday that's rocketmoney.com slash trash tuesday rocketmoney.com slash trash tuesday go to drink simply spiked.com slash trash tuesday to find out how to get your hands on simply spiked lemonade and new simply spiked peach that's drink simply spiked.com

slash trash tuesday hi slugs i'm on the road and i'm so excited to see you guys at my shows this month i will be in oxnard august 27th and then i'll be in madison wisconsin september 14th through 16th and then september 28th dc and finally september 30th the wilbur in boston and then i will be in chicago san diego detroit and so much more get tickets at esther on ice.com yo what up it's me Annie I am on the road I'm doing my welcome to Annie Wood tour you can see me next in on the 27th I will be in Calgary with Andrew Schultz at the Great Outdoors Comedy Festival that's going to be so fun I'll be in San Francisco at Cobb September 15th and 16th I'll be in in Austin, Texas, October 6th and 7th. La Jolla Comedy Store, October 13th and 14th.

San Jose, Houston, Texas, and a lot more shows. Go to annieletterman.com slash shows. I can't believe you weren't embarrassed in front of your family. Like, to me, the thought of being proposed to in front of any other person is so humiliating. Listen, there were humiliating elements to it, but there was a rage that filled me when I tell you what happened.

There was a rage that filled me that took over any emotions to the point where I did not even feel engaged till 24 hours later because the rage was so real. So Todd, so the stones are family stones. So it's a emerald from my great, great aunt. It's from the 1800s. It's like this like amazing thing my mom found. And then the diamonds around it are from Todd's mom's tennis bracelet. So we had all of these, these gems. And, and I, I had a friend, uh, I guess I, he wasn't that good of a friend. I thought he was a better friend. This guy who hangs out at the comedy store, who's a comic and a jeweler. Okay, well, I can stop you right there.

Guy who hangs out at the comedy store. He's so dead to me. We just, we dragged him on Annie Wood. Like he's going down. Wait, what? Why? His nickname is Heavy. It's like all of the signs were to not trust this person.

I trusted him. He would always bring jewelry around. I don't know. I was like. Wait, I know Heavy from Toronto. Wait, wait why heavy's the biggest piece of shit on earth fucking heavy you're trash i hate you i will say this i never would have gone to him for jewelry he like up charges by the way there was like a there was like an initial charge then it all of a sudden got more expensive he doesn't do any of it. I found out now once he

screwed up the ring. He's not a real jeweler. He just sources things. He just sources things and doesn't check them or make sure that they were done correctly or anyway. So Todd on the party bus, I'm surprised because I think it's going to happen at the Criss Angel show. So on the party bus we get on. It's perfect. It's so cheesy. It's like exactly how I want it. Todd's all nervous. He's like, will you be my wife forever he like said something so stupid and um and i'm like yes i'm like yes and then he hands her the ring i'm like you're supposed to put it on thank god he wasn't the one because he would have gotten the direction of the anger because i would have been looking at him so i go to put it on and it doesn't fit over my the first knuckle of my ring finger this fucking asshole did

not resize the ring when i gave it to him it was a size four as a pinky ring he never resized but you had paid to get it we paid to resize it he measured my finger todd double checked made sure that he was like had the sizes and everything he just didn't do his job you know a little too late now but we could have really used Nicholas Botash for this. Nick, you scum. I blame you for this.

No, but it was like, so it was a pinky ring, which is like, what if I had popped out and been like, it fits me. Hi,

Todd. You were driving the car. It was, I was so mad. So like the engagement video is like me getting engaged being excited going to put it on and then i look to camera i'm like fucking heavy like it's just it's so crazy he also had been showing everyone the ring before i got it it was just like so unprofessional the whole thing was so annoying it was like thousands of dollars more than he said it was going to be

for no reason nothing changed it was like and then when I text him about it, he was like, oh, sorry, your first engagement didn't go perfectly. Like, I was like being some sort of like prima donna about a deal we had made where he had promised to do a craft that he said he does. And then it was, I don't do any of it. People's weight fluctuates. He told me that it was probably weight gain that made it a pinky ring I mean I was so mad at this guy

I'm not the authority on jewelry but I did date a jeweler for like an extended period of time he did come on your back was that him?

she was like no he didn't sorry my bad I misspoke I misspoke on my back but that is fucked up isn't that then he goes this happens to me once a year i'm like why would this happen to you once a year what and then he was trying to blame his like workers i'm like you are the person i trusted you are the person i paid you are the

person and by the way i had to pay some of it because he upcharged it like todd had it covered and then i had he just ruined everything but it was. He also didn't resize Todd's ring. He was supposed to resize Todd's ring. Wait, why does Todd have a ring? Because his dad's ring doesn't fit him anymore. So he gave him his ring. So Todd's been... For the future.

Because Todd's such a... No, he just wears it. Todd wears a wedding ring. No, like, no. Rings on men are so hot. Like, signet rings. Or even when they have big, bold, like, tourmaline rings. They're so sexy.

I love that you're engaged to Todd, but he's married to you. That's right. Like, that's a really good... That's a good... I mean, it's just a miracle I didn't propose to him. Yeah, and actually, I'm grateful

that you didn't. I'm very against that. That's my one gender, like, my line in the sand. Okay, that might be my line in the sand, too. You're not getting a proposal out of me.

I have friends that my friend Brandon was or Brandon was proposed to by his wife and I am like not okay with it. What about your sister? Well, now that you guys

are so against it, I'm like, hmm. Is there something there? What, for your next one? No, for when we re-up the engagement. But I have to say I know how you feel

because when Dave proposed to me, the ring, it was too big and it didn't fit. And I was like, I put a bandaid around it and wore it anyway. But I don't know. It does feel like you want it to be magical and perfect. So I think it's probably really common at least.

I would have been okay with it being too big, though. Like, it's just I couldn't see what it looked like on the finger. Like, it didn't fit on the finger it was supposed to to go on my dreams of having the perfect engagement ring are gone because of us no because i am not dating a jeweler anymore yeah like it would have been the best he would have made it the he's a very unique jeweler too it would have been really like yeah and well i'll have him redo my ring because i want nothing. I want no heavy on my ring. Absolutely go to Nick for that because he will make it the best. Also, after we got engaged, like, so I had to get the ring size fixed. And so Dave worked with this jeweler that, like, he knew from college or whatever.

And so we were both texting her. She didn't. She literally ghosted us. Ten days went by. I'm like, wow, this has actually never happened to me in my life. I've never just been dropped. And then after ten days. so many times since then, after 10 days, she's like, just got home from Burning Man. Sorry. Thank God. Cause I was so, and I was panicked. I was like,

oh, my ring, like the jeweler abandoned. Yeah, I know. And you do want it back like immediately. You want it right. Well, Todd's parents are amazing. So my older brother and Todd's dad, like the minute this happened, it was, you know, seven o'clock at night. They were like on the phone calling jewelers, like getting it fixed. It was so cute. So Todd's parents, we went to the mall to like a quick fix or whatever. And how perfect is that? I know.

It's so sweet. But then it ended up being too big because the guy who like fixed it took so long to do it that Todd's parents were just sitting at this mall in Vegas for hours while the rest of the family was like partying and having fun and waiting for the ring. And it took so long. And then the guy just made it two sizes bigger than he had measured. I mean, it's like jewelers are not good at their job. They're a burning man. Why is it so hard? No, he was late too.

And he did look like he'd been raving the night before. I was like, dude, he only makes nipple rings. I was like. Now, when it happened, like literally when Todd was on his knee and you're on the party bus, like were you, did you cry? Did you, were you overcome with emotions? Like I was surprised. I didn't think I, i didn't think he was going to be able to surprise me because i had choreographed so much of it but i was really surprised by it i'm really glad that chris angel hates love um because it did it was like it was really cute and he did it really fast like right when we got on the party bus like josh started putting music on josh potter

was with us what song was playing playing? I don't remember. I thought it was like, celebrate. I thought Josh put on a bar mitzvah. Josh was so excited to be the DJ. It was so cute. He was more excited than everyone when I got proposed to.

We're like, who's going to be the DJ? And Todd goes, why don't you be the DJ, Josh? And Josh was like, yes! And I was laughing at that when Todd proposed. Because I was like, oh, Josh is so happy. Was everyone like looking at you? Everyone had the cameras off. They were all so excited. Oh my God. And then when I was pissed, everyone was trying to

be like, it's fine. It's fine. But it's like on, on my pinky, it's not okay. It was not okay. I'm like, you don't understand. I literally paid this man. I looked him in the eye. I trusted him. He showed my manager goes, Oh, your ring's so pretty. I haven't gotten my ring yet. Why are you? He goes, Oh, have you showed him?. I haven't got my ring yet. Why are you? He goes, oh, have you showed him? Why are you showing people my ring before I get it? Yeah. And by the way, he's taking credit for it. This is the same design of the ring we gave him.

It's just different. So personal. He designed nothing. Also, again, like Nick looks at my finger and he's like, you're a four and a half. Your main finger's a four and a half. My ring finger is. I'm tiny. Well, I had a four and a half. Your main finger's a four and a half? My ring finger is. I'm tiny. Well, I had a ring for you the other day.

We both could have married Todd. We had our chance. Yeah. You have tiny fingers too? Mine are long, but they're slender. Yeah. Slenderman's hands. Slenderman.

I remember when Dave proposed to me, he played the song miley cyrus adore you that's really which was cute like we were driving to couples therapy it is so funny he did it on the way to couples i know and didn't cancel so we had to pay the fee but like i he i just remember i was like sitting in the car and we were driving and then that song came on and i was like what and then i could see he was like going off course and but like can i tell you the then that song came on and i was like what and then i could see he was like going off course and but like can i tell you the minute that song played i got nervous like i did you feel that like awkward shy uncomfortable i felt weird after we were engaged like i felt like ew like it's like embarrassing to tell people you're engaged yes it's like i watch netflix shows

with someone now forever like it's like you don't know it's like telling to tell people you're engaged yes it's like i watch netflix shows with someone now forever like it's like you don't know it's like telling i don't know there's something like that's just like mine show offiness about it that you don't feel i don't know it's like i i was so happy to be engaged i i begged for it but like there's something about that actual moment that is so uncomfortable i the moment was good the heavy thing is it an ick when someone wants to marry you just saying fiance is so disgusting it's like the word fiance is so snobby and gross and like and you and i every i have so many jokes about todd it's like boyfriend is cute i know fiance is like this has been my issue for five years what do you think of husband husband's better yeah when someone says my wife it it lands husband is way better my husband

but isn't boyfriend cuter boyfriend's cute but i'll never have a boyfriend again i want to go back to dave being my boyfriend hi yay hi how's it going hi i, I'm Kalilah. Nice to meet you. What's up? Yes. I like your jeans. Is Robert here? Yeah. Oh, cool.

He can come in whenever. He's doing touch-ups. He's a pretty boy. Yeah, no, but there is, it is like, it's embarrassing. It's like too much information. I want to know what that feeling is and should. I feel like a lot of girls probably feel this way, but no one talks about it because it's supposed to be the happiest moment. But I believe you guys. OK.

I can I can almost feel what you're feeling. And I've never been there. It's a feeling that I don't feel like I've had since childhood. You know what it is? It's puberty. It's a transition. You're in a transitional period. You're like you're going through in front of people people are watching you like change into something else it's like vulnerable oh robert hello yes come on in come on in hi

oh mine are always wet do you sweat a lot no he No, he washed his hands. He's like, no, I have a good call. Hi, sir. How are you? Good to see you. Don't get up. What are you doing? Esther would never get up. I could not get up in the middle of this.

Come on in. You were standing in front of my camera. We needed you. Yeah, Esther's like, you're blocking. We were just talking. We're doing an Amazon delivery for you guys. Can I join the show? Yeah, please.

We were just talking about Annie getting'm doing an Amazon delivery for you guys. Can I join the show? Yeah, please. We were just talking about Annie getting engaged. What did you order? We ordered a chest plate for Esther. Give her pecs. A chest plate? Wait, welcome to the show, Robert Schwartzman. Are you... How do you feel right now?

Are you overwhelmed? I feel really good. No, I... No. You do feel comfortable. I feel really high. I want to do feel comfortable i feel really hot i want to stay here yeah is there a blanket or anything there is a blanket kalilah is there a seatworm where i could have or something no i feel great i just feel like i don't want to say anything

that i'm not supposed to say really well no about like what just like hollywood and stuff oh yeah you're fine i don't know strikes we're just talking about Annie. Getting the ick when getting proposed to. Oh, yeah. Oh, the feeling you got? Apparently, both Esther and Annie felt the ick. It's not an ick, but it's that. Well, being engaged is like embarrassing. I don't know.

There's something embarrassing about it. Did you, when you, will you tell us from the other, tell us from the other perspective. I told Esther I would tell you anything. Oh, I love this. Anything. I, yeah, I'll tell you. You want to. Oh, I love this. Anything. Yeah, I'll tell you. You want to know my engagement story?

Yes. Okay. Are you sure? Yes. Okay. So I married someone that I went to elementary school with. Yeah. So we met in first grade. This is totally true. You were both in first grade and i just told you i'm not even i just want to

be clear rehearsed or anything like that yeah no i we went we grew up in los angeles together it was a school called um ues which stands for university elementary school oh my god a lot of pressure i know no but it's it now well now it's called the lab school which i don't know maybe that's worse i know exactly yeah well because everyone's a test tube baby well it's actually called it was it's called seeds s-e-e oh god even worse it's all very like embryonic yeah sorry sorry it sounds like a biotech i know it's true it's true well it's weird because it was on the ucla so on the ucla campus along the edge of it on sunset boulevard is a elementary school it's a really

good school it's great and is it so good that like you can just stop there after elementary school you just get married you find your wife i shouldn't have said the name of the school but no it was it's it was it's a great anyway you didn't just say the name of the school you said all of you i know you can't exactly now you guys can all research this but so i'm we met zoe my wife zoe which i love her she's such a talented photographer and she's so beautiful like she's awesome yeah she's amazing she's awesome so we yeah so first grade I'm one year above her, so we had mixed grades. Ew. I know. I think maybe I was second, she was in first grade.

So we met at that school. You know, you have a lot of memories. I don't know if you guys feel this way, but when you're, you know, you have like visual memories of people you went to school with. Yeah. You know, you just like, you kind of know if you close your eyes right now, you could see somebody. Yeah. That kid's out over there. Michael, yeah.

That little bastard over there. Yeah. My car is out over there. Michael, yeah. That little bastard over there. Yeah. Michael with my cars. Hips are weird. Oh, shit. Yeah. Yes. Well, so we.

Weird about hips. You know I'm weird about hips. I'm sorry. No, tell me. I want to know. I don't even know what's going on. What? It's a hips thing.

And he gets it. Wait, my crown. Shit. My tiara. Oh, yeah. We are in princess diaries oh cool for you yeah that's amazing robert you're our first prince yeah princess diary you're our second prince i'm sorry a frog oh that's so nice oh cool my crown esther's the before prince you're the after after. I really appreciate that. When you kiss Esther, you turn into you. Are your subscriptions draining your wallet, Esther? Yes, as a matter of fact.

Like I am subscribed to every streaming service. I don't use them. Like I have lost track. It's just I sign up for everything so quickly so easy on a whim well here's a fun fact for you the average person has around 12 paid subscriptions and they might not even remember subscribing to half of those dun dun dun yeah it's it's like i have add so i'm gonna i'll do the the seven day trial and then i'm like oh i'll cancel this later and then you know and they intentionally make it very difficult to find the cancel button.

But enter Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. Most people think they're spending $80 on their subscriptions, when in reality the number is closer to $200. When you're signed up for so many things like streaming services you use to watch one show or free trials for delivery you don't use, it's easy to lose track of what you're paying for. Oh, and Rocket Money, by the way, can even

negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20%. It's not that they just cancel your unwanted subscriptions. They can lower your bills as well. All you have to do is take a picture of your bill and Rocket Money takes care of the rest. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money

the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday. That's rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday. rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday.

You guys, it's been a really hot, muggy summer. It's been insane. No, it's not okay this is an inferno and what i have in my hand is not just any hard lemonade simply spike lemonade has been bringing the juiciness since launching last summer in four bold flavors that are perfect for any occasion pick up a variety pack to try each flavor, including Signature Lemonade, Strawberry Lemonade, Blueberry Lemonade, and Watermelon Lemonade. By popular demand, four fan favorite peach flavors are now also part of the Simply Spiked family. Signature Peach, Strawberry Peach, Kiwi Peach, and Mango Peach. Which one are you?

I'm Kiwi Peach. I'm Signature. You guys, this is actually really, really tasty stuff. It smells so good. It's so refreshing on a hot day. If you're out, if you're going to a summer party, this is the drink I think to bring. I have a friend who had a barbecue out in Marina Del Rey and I brought a case of the Simply Spiked Peach and people were so into it.

They're like, oh my God, this is cute, fruity, cute, cool girl vibes. Go to drinksimplyspiked.com slash trash Tuesday to find out how to get your hands on Simply Spiked Lemonade and new Simply Spiked Peach. That's drinksimplyspiked.com slash trash Tuesday. Flavored beer naturally flavored with other natural flavors. Simply Spiked Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Celebrate responsibly.

Simply Spiked and Simply Spiked Lemonade are trademarks of the Simply Orange Juice Company. celebrate responsibly simply spiked and simply spiked lemonade are trademarks of the simply orange juice company after years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers if we've learned anything it's that there's always a catch so when i heard that for a limited time all mint mobile wireless plans are 15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan i thought where's the catch but after talking to them it all made sense there isn't one mint mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online. They don't have retail stores or salespeople. Instead, they deliver premium phone plans directly to you.

As you guys know, our friend Rick Glassman, he uses Mint Mobile. I learned about Mint Mobile through George Kimmel. George is a busy guy. He takes the most business calls. And the fact that not a single call is ever dropped. And you can use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts. Say goodbye to your overpriced wireless plans.

Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with plans starting at $15 a month. And all plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. That is such a steal. To get this new customer offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan.

Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. Statement mobile for details. I'll wrap up my story really fast. No, no, no. You just started it. We could get into other good stuff. We're only in first grade. No, Kalilah and I just had a weird hip moment.

Well, no. It's funny. Just to get through the story. Basically, we met at the school. You know, I grew up in Los Angeles, right? Zoe grew up in LA too, so we're both from LA. So you've been through that together? Yeah, we've been through LA together.

And we, so we have these memories of like UES. That school ended at sixth grade. Then you go to like junior high, so we all went to different schools. So we kind of like, everyone goes their separate ways. So that's when I like didn't see Zoe again until we we were like in our you know late 20s and started dating were you that girl with the barrettes that i used to look at wait no she no i totally remember zoe her name is zoe gross and you recognize her right away instagram and wait did you have a crush on her in elementary school well it's interesting like i don't know if if it how what level of crush like one felt

compared to how we crush now but the no she she uh no but i just always remembered zoe and she had the same group of friends i kind of remembered like you ever you know social circles formed at that age so you kind of remember who was hanging with who and on the on the playground i played like kickball and Zoe was playing handball. We have these memories, Esther. So relax. That's so cute. No, but we, so I wanted to propose to Zoe.

And I, well, this is what happened. How long were you together? So we were living, well, we were together for like two years and then she moved in. What happened was we broke up temporarily. Yes. I had one of those freak out phases where I had directed my first feature film. What was it called? It was called Dreamland.

Dreamland. Hell yeah. Check it out. And I felt like, oh, wow, I'm like discovering a new part of myself, like creatively. And when you're on set. Did you feel a little like I'm going to get some like director puss? Oh, my God. Be honest.

No, no, no. What? No. Okay. All right. Just. What? That's what I would think.

I'd be like, oh, shit. You would want director puss? I'm Annie Bonus Letterman. When I have success, things get wet. Things are crazy. Things get wet? Things are possible. Possibilities happen. Women around you are getting wet. When are crazy. Things get wet? Things are possible. Possibilities happen.

Women around you are getting wet. When my special comes out, Todd better watch out. Well, there it is right there. There's like five dreamlands. Oh, that's great. Cool poster. Isn't that great? It's beautiful.

Okay, so you're having this creative. So I made this movie. I kind of like was really overwhelmed. I got swept into that feeling of like being on set. You're with your crew. It's a family feeling. And you're just like, I think I felt, you know, like my mom, I grew up with a mother who's an actress, right? And she's like a real intense artist.

She's very like intense in a good way. But she's just like, Robert, you're making me really focused. You got to like really focus. You got to like just everything. You got to like really throw yourself into this. It's your first feature. So I felt all this, like these voices in my head making me feel a lot of pressure. And then I started like maybe kind of feeling overwhelmed, having balancing a relationship and then trying to make a movie all in LA too. You're not like away on location checking out. So I was like trying to find a way to find harmony between work life and then personal life, which was hard.

Can I interject here that that is a common thing. I feel like, especially that men experience that maybe we don't necessarily, which is like, if you are going to, if you're going by tradition of like taking on a wife, you do probably want to feel like more set in your career and not in this like beginning stage. So I can kind of see.

Getting to the end of the story. No, we, this is a, we, we want this story. What if I don't even get to the, that's our goal.

The last episode was just me telling one story. We don't want you to finish. Okay, good. Wait, but how old were you? Well, well,

I spent a lot of my life doing music, playing. I started a band called Rooney, and I would tour as Rooney. Which, by the way, every cool guy I know is a fan of Rooney. Every cool girl is a fan of Rooney. I only know Britney Spears music, so I wasn't aware. But I think that's a good thing if I wasn't aware. I love this song. It's R-O-O-N-E-Y. that's a good thing if i wasn't i love this oh yeah wrong spelling it's r that's a version of it

r o o n e y honestly the other dreamland um well i love the zero that's my dj spelling hey are you an alien yeah there you go oh my gosh look at this okay so you had done music you were born with the hair to do this yeah you couldn't not that's some on-camera hair um so i uh whoa look at that cute um yeah so i was touring i spent a lot of time touring i pushed pause i wanted to like take a break from touring and making records and like direct a movie so i was i don't know i was like 30 like three or something I don't know yeah something like that but I like whatever the long story short my personal life was kind of like feeling the like the I don't know be being close to somebody who was trying to figure out how to make a movie

and all that pressure so you know Zoe was amazingly supportive during that time but i just unfairly i just had like a sort of panic at the end of it and we had like a breakup and she moved out and was really sad and we had a dog together that i remember her driving away with the dog zoe's listening right now zoe she in the future she's listening but yeah it was like it was yeah it was like really sudden and really hard mostly i will I will say for her, because- Because you were on set. No, because she- You were busy.

You were like doing the thing. No, because she moved out of a house that we shared. She had moved in and then moved out. And that was more on her to have to- And how long had you been living together? Get a new place and all that. Moving sucks, right? Yeah.

And then there's a breakup. It's a divorce. It's an emotional piece. You have to move out. Whoa. But then I had this like panic of like, what did I do? I made a big mistake. I need to go back and fix this.

Right? So I started like, and I saw I was with some family members who love Zoe so much. And we were all together. And they were like, where's Zoe right now? And I was like, well, we broke up. And they couldn't believe what I had just said. is zoe right now and i was like well we broke up and they couldn't believe what i had just said they were so upset that this had happened and that i had let whatever actions i had chosen to take led to this outcome and they were like this is a big mistake and you need to like fix this

and i was i knew in my mind i was like yes i this is a rom-com like the whole family's like all right we're gonna plan this now they're like, it's so nice because everyone really did like, really, really loved her so much. So it was. And what family members? Because I know like, this could be like Nicolas Cage, Coppola,

like because who? You really want to know? Yeah. Well, no, I'll say literally Francis Coppola told me you need to go back and we were on our way to New York together

and he said, i know a guy who sells diamonds in the diamond district i know a guy that has a winery who like you know some people sell privately like you buy a diamond you have to you have to you have to set it and everything but you can buy them separately yeah we just talked about the guy that annie used she hates him covered that what you're wearing uh well anyway so he said you need to call this man it was very old school like call this guy go pick out a diamond and then go you need to go back and propose to her and and like not like for not forceful but this is like this is a movie family like that's like a movie family let's go from breakup to engagement and then when i was in

new york because you know when you go through i mean i was not feeling settled inside like i had you know i just it didn't feel i had made this really quick decision it was totally not thought through the the breakup so i was carrying with me this uncertain feeling of like unresolved tension of did i make a big mistake so like so cinematic were you guys yeah i know this is what oh at that point yeah like two weeks now when you were in new york was there a girl like a short girl pretending to be shot by paparazzi well so so i um and then when i was on that trip this is more it gets more movie like but i was like with the family with family and and my like my grandfather's brother, who's like in his late, he passed away, but he was in his like 90s, still married to the same, his same marriage.

Was it Paul Newman? No. Who's going to start crying? But they were like this, they're a sweet older couple who like live and breathe in New York. You would have them on the show if you like the very much like New York all the way forever and and they were like what are you doing go we've got to marry this girl she sounds like amazing and just don't like get in your head just do it like every you know she was just they were telling me you know you're overthinking all this stuff and like I told them why we broke up and it was just that this makes sense because that's the Italian

yeah and you have the Jewish side yeah exactly it's like wrestling exactly And it was just that. This makes sense because that's the Italian side and you have the Jewish side of you that they don't know about. It's like wrestling. Exactly. But it was just nice to meet all these people that had like been married for so long and you could see it and you're like, yeah, what am I? You're right. God, I'm so stupid. So I like, I like at some point I like I showed up at Zoe's place with like flowers or I'm not on Easter. I like brought her an easter basket with like chocolates in it or something and then i start every day i sent her breakfast on like grubhub or something and i think i sent her flowers like every day because she definitely would not take me back good for her she wouldn't she did not take me back and i had to really

she she she wanted me to fight for her and she she was every right that was the right decision and i tried i just did everything i could to kind of like make sure she knew i was like great move though what kind of breakfast was it different breakfast every day or i think it was yeah it was different every day yeah that is yeah no no i know definitely she would have been like who's like i would have lost her breakfast burritos every day yeah from different places lucky boy but i sent her flowers i sent her desserts i sent her whatever i could and then i i think i did look at diamonds it's so stupid because i didn't we weren't even back but i looked at diamonds and like i did some research and then but this is where the story gets exciting so I'm so excited well no she wanted me to like take her like to date almost like date her again so I like started I took her out to dinner and

like picked her up and like try to be romantic and said let's get dressed up and I tried to make it like you know just try to like kind of win her back. And then eventually we started seeing each other again. And then to jump ahead, I was like, okay, I should, it's funny, cause I was like, I'm gonna go, Frances pumped me up to just like get a ring and just go back and do it like a movie, right? Just get on your knees and just be like, I'm sorry, babe, here's my ring.

I know that proposal you have to be on both knees. And then I had a family member say and just be like, I'm sorry, babe. Here's my ring. I know that proposal. You have to be on both knees. And then I had a family member say, that's a terrible idea. She's like, don't do that. Who is she? Sofia Coppola. Yeah.

Really? This is fun. You keep guessing right though, but you have a desire to know. No, no. Sofia said, don't do that. That's a terrible idea. I think you're really going to freak her out. And it's way too like herky jerky to just be like, let's break up, move out. And then, hey babe, where's my ring? It won't feel, it won't carry what it should be, which is this authentic, like this is the right time.

I don't know, but I feel like Eyes Wide Shut really like delved into marriage. That is a good female director's point of view. But then Suicide, you know virgin suicides was well no so i so i took that voice was in the back of my head and all these voices are in my head again you can see voices are in my head there's a theme you're herman's head my mom's voice yeah it's like trying to get understand where is your voice in all this but so i'm like just i need to just take my time and like start to get back into like a rhythm together so we started so we got back together but there was always that feeling of like having to figure out this new patent there's a new dynamic together after going through a

breakup that was a little bit like well did sudden and weird that yeah did you feel like she then kind of started to be like i'm the director now like. Like, you want me back? Like- Oh, Zoe? Yeah. Yeah, no, no. So she probably is directing people. She got her own place and she was totally set and she kind of, you know, she set up her life, you know? Like I, it was weird to go to her place

and see her new life. It was bizarre. And she was, you know, like she had put her, she had found the pieces she needed to feel secure again. And then i am coming back the person who made life not secure yeah trying to then ask her to let's move back in together that was like a huge no no yeah she was like no she was she said no i thought it was like unbalanced ends or something i thought i could romantically like we could move in together you're like i got you a card so i so i did buy i did buy a ring right i bought a ring and i had um thought of how i was going to propose so what i was going

to do was i was going to somehow get her back to elementary school so i could propose on campus that's cute right hard to get on elementary schools as a really hard right no so it's a little i try so i emailed court orders i was able to get the right schools as a grown up. Really hard. No. So I try. So I emailed court orders. I was able to get the right person's contact. I emailed them. Hi, we both went here. I want to propose to her here. So I knew I so I knew there was how do I get her back there without knowing anything's

up. Right. So I said to the school, can you email Zoe saying we recently have done remodeling and we found old papers and her artwork and stuff that belonged to you when you were in school here. Would you please come pick it up or we will have to like dispose of it like by this date? Wait, I have a question. Was she disappointed when there wasn't her old artwork? Because that would be such a goldmine. It's going to get really wild.

So they were willing to send out this very like formal email right this is amazing very official and she got the email and i knew they had sent it and then i kind of i i was like oh i she didn't mention anything to me and i thought she would certainly say something but she doesn't like look at her phone all the time at all the emails right so she kind of missed the email oh no and i was like hey I got this email from UES too. Hey, did you get? And then she checks out. Oh, my God, I got one too.

And I was like, oh, we should go get these papers. We should go pick this stuff up. So she's like, okay, good idea. So we like set the date to go get it. And then what I did was I went to an art store and I made like fake artwork as if it was like from back in the day like crane like paper you know like paper and crayons and weird was it hard to make it like i made yeah yeah i literally made a packet of like fake kid artwork but in it were like baked sort of like poems about merit like love and i think i wrote like something a poem in it i wrote in like crayons. Did you write it with like your dominant hand?

Yeah, like that. Yeah, exactly. And then I left all this stuff there, like a packet of it at the school. And then it was all set. And then Zoe's like, oh, no, she's a fashion photographer. A shoot came up and I can't go on that day now. And I have to go to New York. And I had this feeling of I got to do it.

Like I had that voice of got to go propose, you know, like just do this. I had the ring and everything ready. So what happened was we weren't able to go to the school and do the whole thing. And it was all set. So I was, and then we had, we went to New York together and I was like, I, for some reason, I think I, I don't know why I felt like I have to propose now, like right away, like as if like something, you're gonna miss a flight or something. Right. So I was like, shit, the UES thing's not going to work out, but it was like, so that was so right. So I'm going to have to do it in New York. Right. Sorry. That's just face. I can't believe the ues thing isn't happening can i still get proposed the plot thickens so we go to new york and i'm thinking to myself okay

i've got to do this in new york i've this i gotta where do i do it that's like sentimental or something so i'm like how about liberty island like the statue yeah that's right i know exactly a tourist attraction no so i'm like you know we are are like our relatives came through ellis island you the statue of liberty i know that's why it's so hacky again like oh my god i know that's again we're gonna get back to it so we go to new york together i have the ring in the in the safe in the hotel room. Zoe has no idea. And I keep thinking to myself, maybe like what I had been told,

like don't, this could freak her out if it's too sudden. And then I started Googling like best ways to propose or like things to know when you, this is really silly. But one of the things was like, don't make sure you sort of talk to your partner in advance or get some feedback on if she's ready or, you know, like, is it the right time? Right. So I started doing that the night before I was going to propose. I was like, so how are you feeling? And she started picking up on this intense energy from me. And she was like, look, if you're about to like do any, like if, if, why are you asking

me these questions? And like, it kind of gave me the vibe, like, don, if you're about to like do any, like if, if, why are you asking me these questions? And like, it kind of gave me the vibe, like don't do anything extreme right now. Sort of the vibe. It was very fresh, right? All this coming back. So I was like, oh shit. Okay. So that was my island.

She's thinking about Ellis Island. Yeah, exactly. Crying. All this was in the back of my mind, right? We go to Liberty Island. I like, I'm like, let's go to, this would be so fun. This is like where our relatives came. So we walk in circles around Liberty Island. I like, I'm like, let's go to, this would be so fun. This is like where our relatives came. So we walk in circles around Liberty Island. I'm holding the ring in my jacket pocket. There's like school kids running around. Cause there's like tours going on.

And I'm like, where am I going to drop on my knees and do this? I'm looking around. My hand is like shaking. And then I have that doubt, that voice going, don't, she said like, don't do this right now. What am I doing? This is so stupid. stupid so i did i ended up and she kept saying why are you acting so weird like you're acting so weird because i kept going wow isn't it amazing it's always so awesome i kept looking i kept like walking around going god this is so beautiful she's like trolling you on your own wow this is amazing like look at this place you know she's like she's like why did you bring me here she's like what are you talking about so i just she's like you're acting so weird what's going on i'm like oh it's just so it's so sentimental being here

so anyway long story short i didn't do it i was like i can't do this right yeah what a really so i put the ring back in the box and i left it there and i think maybe two and a half years passed by two years passed by two years it's like your hair is different because you know what happened we ended up we what we ended up doing was we everything was we were in a good spot we ended up buying a house together in echo park and that was like the beginning of this joint of like a partnership right was the first act of a real like joint like this isn't she's living in my place i'm living in her place but let's get a place together so that was the beginning of setting up these like roots together

and that's kind of created some great momentum i think it was around maybe a year and a half two years the ring was in a bag in like a back room closet hidden away and it was so weird because in the back of my mind i was like man i have this ring what i'm like i got what is this gonna happen so i reset up the ues thing again i had ues send a new email saying hey we've postponed construction or whatever the stuff is still here come get it i was texting with like the whoever was the contact there hey we're on our way got her in the car got to ues it was after hours it was like sunset it was like getting dark outside we were the only ones there we got knocked on top of the door oh hey come in oh yeah let me go get your papers just take a take them you guys are free to walk around i'll be right back

you know the woman working there said that she was all like set so she disappears and i'm like we're like smiling is this amazing like this is where we grew up oh we grew up. Oh my God. Let's go for a while. I was like, let's go for a walk. This is so cool. So we went literally on like a little journey through, walked down memory lane together, like hand in hand, walking around the campus, reminiscing, oh my God, that's where that happened.

Remember when we used to da, da, da, right? And then we got to, I was like, where am I going to do this? I didn't think through like, where will I do it in the campus? I just wanted to get operation get to UES and then we did like a full circle and we landed where we used to take yearbook photos right and I thought that was a good spot because we could you know we'll take this is where I'll have the moment and we have so many memories I have yearbooks of us together in that spot in these yearbook photos so yeah that we got to that spot and then i like yeah dropped on my on one knee and said will you marry me and it was

so surreal but it was all so quick and she was like she looked at me she's like what what she's like wait is it such a long game she was so confused it was so jarring that it was like the whole setup to this point and like was so confusing. And then I think I said it again to make it really real. And then she said, yes, you know, took a selfie in that spot. And then we went over to my mom's house and I had had her dad show up there in advance. And then we walked in and I told him. He didn't know why he was going to be there and then we told

them and they were so excited it was really so that was it wow that's my that's my whole podcast anyway so it all came back around you know it was the right time and it all like it all hit at the right time and what did she say when you told her that you were going to propose to her at oh she was like oh she she was so happy we waited and we got to this point and it felt so much stronger would it have been a no for her then at ellis island i probably would have been yeah i think it would have just been like wait what are you doing i'm not ready this is too much let's get where are you doing this all this we just moved like what is happening right yeah i just ate breakfast you just got me breakfast like this is manic but it was really yeah it was really it was really um yes it's

really sweet and we have a friend john dewall who he proposed to his wife and i think the first definitely first time maybe first two times she said no that's oh wow but they have like kids now and they're good how did was it like an official proposal yeah he actually got down on one yes and then my childhood best friend christina like she found out that her now husband was going to propose and she said make it stop and yeah no which i cannot relate to at all because the day i met dave i started my campaign to get married to him so like i just don't understand people wanting to wait i'm like yeah yeah- Yeah, yeah. The, yeah, anyway. But no, it's, you know, it's, yeah, it's-

But that's a real great practice of restraint. I like- Two years knowing you had that ring sitting there. She couldn't believe the ring had been in like a bag. I can't believe she never found it. I'd be in every single corner of the house. That would be so shitty to just find a, that's like such a bummer.

It's true. It was in my bag. It was a bag she would never have opened. Oh, there isn't a bag I would never open. Yeah, I'm in every single crevice. Well, you know there's going to be something rotting in the bag. Yeah. Something to clean out, to throw out.

I think that's a good story about like the voices in your head, like using them as like a guide, but not letting them be the thing that because yeah in the wrong control you're yeah exactly and if your uncle is francis ford coppola like you don't have to do exactly what he says right away you can wait after years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers if we've learned anything it's that there's always a catch so when i heard that for a limited time all mint mobile wireless plans are 15 a month when you

purchase a three-month plan i thought where's the catch but after talking to them it all made sense there isn't one mint mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online they don't have retail stores or sales people instead they deliver premium phone plans directly to you. As you guys know, our friend Rick Glassman, he uses Mint Mobile. I learned about Mint Mobile through George Kimmel. George is a busy guy. He takes the most business calls and the fact that not a single call is ever dropped. And you can use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts. Say goodbye to your overpriced wireless plans. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with plans starting at 15 bucks a month.

And all plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. That is such a steal. To get this new customer offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday.

That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three month plan only speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan.

Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. But see, I never, I grew up like never thinking of marriage like never thinking of marriage never thinking of babies i never wanted it it wasn't until i met dave where i was like i almost like i didn't want to be with him if we weren't going to get married because i was so afraid of a breakup with him like i didn't even want to enjoy him unless i knew it would be forever which is obviously anxious attachment.

Psychotic. Or like even anxious. Such a trooper, Dave. We're really proud of you. Yeah. And it's just so, yeah, looking back, it's obviously silly because he kind of had said like, just be patient in so many ways. He said that. And it's like, I couldn't, I could not absorb that or trust that.

At your show in New York that I was at. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You said we're engaged, but we're not going to get married or something. Is that true? Well, so we've been engaged. We're postponing the. We've been engaged for five years.

So I say I say like I'm engaged, but it's been five years. So it's not looking good. Got it. There's a long engagement. But it really is just that he wants to have a wedding and I don't and like oh that is

I think it's something else that's the thing I think it's something else I think it's you threaten the idea of having a dry wedding with no alcohol yeah by the way

it's like Esther that's so such a nightmare for everyone I did when I was younger it's so disrespectful I did think if I were to have a wedding

I would want it to be dry and no alcohol I think everyone should be like on the same playing field I could see you just being like no liquid at all

just everyone having hot mouths just like everyone just like suffering through your wedding for some reason no liquids

it's so funny have you have you guys gotten close to like is there yeah is it like is there do you feel like it will there will be something on the horizon, like a real gathering? I do.

We keep getting close to like ideas of just like a really, just like moms and dads and siblings kind of thing. Yeah, stripped down. But then I think about my family and I'm like. Hmm. Is it a big family? No, I'm thinking literally just my mom, dad, sister and her kids. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm like just dealing with big family? no I'm thinking literally just my mom dad sister and her kids but I'm like just

dealing with getting them all in the same room do you think you're kind of like embarrassed the way you were about the it is like to just be like to devote your love to someone in front of

all of like my brothers yes and we're not an affectionate family and like I don't know I just I'm like nervous about it

oh that's what it is there's not nervous physically close only with dave but not with my family so you want to like go like i know one of todd's friends got married at a ups store which is so gangster they just have people that can just marry you at a ups store i didn't know this you can literally just go to you be like there are options they have notaries and isn't that so funny i'm like that is like gangster that's so ideal well my parents were married in a courthouse in chicago and so i was thinking like by mateo lane's grandfather i know is his grandfather still alive i don't know because that would be pretty good if you could do the exact same thing but um so we're talking about

maybe doing a courthouse wedding i don't know if not just exhume exhume his grandfather dear mateo lane have him attend you know in a different way can we you would yeah why don't you put it in a graveyard that would be cool i don't think d would be interested i mean it makes sense but we're not one of those couples where we have the same interests and can like do something eccentric like a a Halloween wedding. Yeah. He likes playing poker. What about a Las Vegas wedding? I like that. What about like an Elvis chapel? I think I'm definitely going to do that.

That would be so fun. So if you wanted twinsies. We can totally double up. Because I can't like, I can't imagine not doing it in Vegas. I was thinking about that, but then I feel like a lot like Kourtney Kardashian.

I know, but it's like. In a little chapel? Yeah. The reason everyone does does it but i like maybe a casino themed wedding like make all my friends dress up as blackjack dealers and they give you cash they feed you like a slot it won't be a dry wedding then yeah you can't have a come on you could do dry in vegas it would be even harder for everybody do you think the guests would attend? They'd all have flasks. They'd be so drunk. When you try to make things dry, people come in blacked out.

They pregame. I think, yeah, you're right. If you tell people no alcohol, people will show up already blacked out, I think. It's a 2 a.m. curfew thing. It's like you cut people off, and so we double up at midnight. We take as many shots as possible because we know we only have till 2AM. I just think like the reason, because I thought the same thing about Kourtney Kardashian's wedding for a second. Because Todd and I were always like, we'll do like a kind of upscaled like Elvis thing.

But it's like the reason it's hacky is because it's the best. Right. I like that. There's other, are there other themes maybe? They probably have other themes in Vegas, right? You can do whatever. It doesn't have to just be Elvis. Yeah.

I know you like Elvis. I would have said Criss Angel, but he hates weddings. It could be Marilyn Monroe or something, right? Yes, an old Hollywood themed wedding. Just pick your character. Just get Trisha Paytas to dress up like Marilyn Monroe and do it. You could have like an old mobster guy. This all sounds like if I'm marrying myself I can do this.

We should have you get kidnapped by a mobster. A murder mystery wedding I will do. Wait, what kind of wedding did you have? We had a,

so our wedding was after, I don't, I don't love going to weddings because I find them to be so slow

and like, they're just so hard to sit through. when you go on a friday and there's the rehearsal dinner yeah and then because i've gone to some ways where there's so many people has to give a speech and you're there like trying to eat take a bite and then someone makes a speech and then you put your stuff down and then another guy got and it's like three hours later your food is like really old and falling apart but yeah so usually it's rehearsal dinner saturday is like really old and falling apart. But yeah, so usually it's rehearsal dinner. Saturday is like, you know, like the wedding day thing, ceremony, and then the dinner and then Sunday farewell. But we thought, let's make Friday the wedding and just have what the rehearsal

dinner group usually is. We'll just be our wedding group smaller. And then let's just have a party on Saturday. It's just, just invite more people people just make it a reception to celebrate oh we got married and then goodbye brunch on sunday when everybody's leaving the family flew in so our wedding was real up just in my mom's backyard we everybody just kind of like we we were on a tiny little riser. My brother married us. And we didn't do like long-winded, you know, like vows that were just on and on and on about declaring love in front of everyone. We just, my brother Matthew worked in.

He interviewed us before and we gave little lines about things we wanted to share. And he kind of worked it into a speech. Oh, like a sweet fun just family like long just passing food around italian style like people passing pasta down the thing it wasn't like overdone and like you know it felt really fun and grounded a couple speeches and then it's so funny though on saturday i i like to say i wanted to set it up so i was kind of like during the day it was really hot so i was kind of setting up the backyard and making the areas where we'd all be hanging out and i think i got really like really tired and like dehydrated

from setting up the party area and then i have a wedding you might like no and then that night and then i know i like it's fun to set up. We kind of did it more DIY style. And then we, and then I didn't eat really any food because I was talking to everybody. And then I, people kept bringing me drinks because they were like, oh, they were like, oh, I know how it is. Like, it's so hard to get a drink. I'll go get you a drink. And they'd like come back with white wine.

Someone appeared with like a tequila. Someone appeared with like a beer. And like, just like nervously drinking each thing little bits of it not eating food and then by the end of the night i like smoked a cigar with my friends at like two in the morning to say goodbye and i got i laid in bed with zoe and i had the spins and i rolled over and threw up all over the ground next to the bed and she was like oh my god are you throwing up right now? Oh my God.

And then I went, I like stumbled. I was like, so I felt so sick from not eating and drinking five types of alcohol and smoking a disgusting cigar. And then I like stumbled in and like threw a towel on the ground and then passed out. And then the next day on Sunday, I spent the whole day so nauseous.

I couldn't even attend the brunch. I loaded in the champagne bottles to the restaurant, went up into the second floor and just laid on the couch the whole brunch as people came upstairs and said goodbye to me. While I was like curled up on a ball, just like, bye. And like someone brought me like some special drink

to like juices to help cleanse. I threw up again at the restaurant. It was so, but that was, that's my fun. Zoe and I, if you were here, she would laugh.

Cause I, I threw up on my wedding night. This would not happen. I enjoy being a wife now. Sorry, babe, but that's what love is. This would not happen at my wedding.

Love is you see, you see everyone at this. No, there's going to be puking at your wedding. Yeah. I know. Cause there's no, I'm not going to have a good excuse.

You just have people passing out from liquid not having anything. Puking up vials. They're going to be like, oh my God, is there water in the distance? It'll be the one time in my life I do cocaine is at your wedding. Oh my God. Esther's coke wedding? It's finally Esther on ice.

Vegas, Vegas. Dream come true. Coke wedding. Oh my God. dave wants to get married soon right yeah he told me yeah he said before you go on make sure you let her know by the end of this episode you're gonna be married but if he had it his way and he just took if he took over the whole thing would you be married this year no that's this whole facade is it because the strike's going on he no he there's more time now he hasn't taken any get married at the strike yes there you go he hasn't taken any steps or any action so i don't feel like it's that urgent to him i don't think it's oh i it will become urgent to me if my WGA health insurance runs out. So there might be something sooner than later. We could get some money involved.

Which is. Health care. It has always been my dream to get married for health insurance. And so I can finally. You know, we need to have. We need to give you like a walk to remember wedding where we make you seem sickly. Like you're in a hospital bed. Oh, my God.

We'll put like schvitz on you. A movie themed wedding? Where you're like, but don't you want to be in a hospital bed and everyone thinks you're sick and they come like. Yes. Say goodbye. Can we do that without a wedding? Just like for fun? Yes.

Is the theme today engagements and weddings? I guess. Kind of. Annie's got engaged as well. Oh, congrats. Thanks. I got engaged this week. It is exciting. Have you been talking about the wedding and weddings? I guess. Kind of. Well, yeah. Oh, congrats. Thanks. It's exciting. It is exciting.

Have you been talking about the wedding and everything? Sort of. It is weird that everyone does, like, everyone, like, their follow-up question is that. And then I guess

once you get married, they're like, when are you having kids? Oh, yeah, yeah, exactly. It's like this immediate. Why do we do that? Well, I froze my eggs and everyone's like,

when are you going to have them? I'm like, I just froze them. Can we discuss this over a banana break? Yeah. Sponsored by Chiquita. Like, we might have gotten married in Vegas, but we just want our nieces and nephews to be there.

If all the kids were there, we would have done it. That'll be so fun for them. I got proposed to in Vegas, and everyone was there. So it was almost like, should we just... We've got to get that prenup going, too. Wait, are you going to? All right, come on. You bring your own pineapple for a banana break?

Yeah, this is my new move. That's cute. Who cut that for you? Air One. Wait, Annie... I was going to be so proud of you for cutting it yourself. No, can you cut... Can anyone cut a pineapple? I feel like you for cutting it yourself i know can you cut can anyone cut a pineapple i feel like you need training no you can't it's a lot it is a lot

yeah there's a lot of room for error yeah but it's very simple it's very straightforward you just have to pick out the eyes you lose some you just are gonna lose some of the meat because you gotta um but there's a little thing you can use to just pick out the eyes what can you use just a normal knife what do you mean to pick out the eyes. What? Can you use just a normal knife? What do you mean a pick out the eyes? Not like a normal, like a cheese knife. Pineapples have eyes. Do you know what I mean? Like a cutting knife?

Yeah. Wait. Can you pull up a pineapple real quick? It has eyes. You mean those little things? Yeah. Those little things. Okay.

Well, that just pulls the whole thing out. Oh, that's awesome. You're wasting a lot of meat that way. That's awesome. how does that even work i do like canned pineapple god is that good wait annie tell us wedding what's the conversation any details i'm in shock people are asking me i'm like this is so crazy people ask right away but are you excited i am excited i was saying to them before you got here that I hate saying fiance, so I think I want to get married sooner than later. To get rid of that one.

It's just like, oh, such a weird interim word. I think it'll be easy. Todd and I always do things pretty easy. Yeah, but a hoity-toity kind of word, huh? It's so annoying. Yeah. And you do, there is a demanded like thing. This is why I switched it.

Now I say partner and then people are like, this is why i switched it now i say partner and then people are like what no partner is better and partner was a struggle for me and partner confuses people that's fun the thing i don't understand i mean i get it but i just have trouble with it is the whole idea where i when someone when you stand and read your vows to somebody or you read like the idea of reading some some people memorize a speech or some people like wing it yeah or they'll pull out a piece of paper and read this like long speech yeah but it's i find it so i mean i really appreciate somebody's open ability to be vulnerable and emotional in this moment but i also i find it

like confusing at the same time because you spend all your time together, usually. You're like living together probably. It's not like you haven't been together and you need to like disclose this to them. It is for the audience. Yeah, it's for everyone. It's like you are literally,

you're performing for everyone here to like reiterate how emotional, how deep your love is or something. But it's not about everyone else. It's about you. You don't need to prove it to anybody. Or are they witnessing this promise you make. Right. Where you're like saying, I'm not going to cheat on you.

I'm going to stay with you. It's like. And everyone's like there to hold you accountable. There's like another like weird. It's like a thing about God. It's like, I think that's- And everyone's like there to hold you accountable. There's like another like weird part of it. It's like a thing about God. It's like, you're saying this- Well, is it because the vows are religious, right? Yeah, because I think traditionally,

isn't the whole purpose of a wedding to be some form of like public declaration and like having witness bear, you know what I mean? In front of all the happy people of God. There's the section where you traditionally fall back into, do you take this? Do you, you know, thing is that that's not your vows that's not the vows yeah the vows are a little bit vows are different i've always felt relatively uncomfortable listening to vows especially when especially they're not funny right and you know that they're trying to

yeah or they're just too emotional that they're not even getting the words out. Oh, Todd's going to blow it. Yeah. Did you talk about like not everyone does that. Is that something you see yourself? I'm just curious. Is that something you guys will probably do something funny? There'll probably be a beat behind it. It'll rhyme. It'll be stupid.

It'll be a lizard. There will definitely be a lot of skinks. There's going to be a lot of lizards I just wonder it's weird because too like skink fest it's funny you know Zoe who's listening I love you babe

Zoe give us a watch we put our things on we love Zoe we're fans I wish she should just come on why am I even here right now should have had her on you should cut between both of us yeah the stories but she when we first met like i think it took her time to realize oh you can meet you can meet someone and have like a good relationship i think she'd been in not good relationships

where she didn't almost like trust yeah like a little bit always like are you like kind of one on one and one out kind of you know and i always i feel like i had to't almost like trust. Yeah. Like a little bit always like, are you like kind of one in, one out? Kind of, you know. And I always, I feel like I had to like, almost like it was like, she asked me this question one time we first met, when we first got back together.

It was like, do you think people could really be together like forever kind of question? And her own, I doubt in that at times. This is before she finally let go and became, I think what she really, her true self. Cause she was,

had been left over feeling of being hurt in the past. But, but, you know, there were like times where she would, like, would be very reactive to, if I, if I looked at her a certain way or said a certain thing, like, what did you mean by that? Or like, are you looking at me? Like, what's wrong? Like, or are you looking at me? Like, like very almost like insecure about like hyper hyper sensitive to what i was saying when i didn't mean that so there's a lot of like no no i didn't mean like overly explaining i can really relate to clarify like oh no i didn't mean that yeah but like i could i just wonder if that there's that person is in a and it's not by the time we got married we had reached a new level of like of feeling at ease with each other but i wonder if someone's like if you if you wrote a whole thing out and you said it if anyone's ever felt like what did you mean by that when you said that

yeah like wait it didn't feel like you really like were giving me the love i really want yeah like i could see that backfiring. Yeah, exactly. I can really relate to her. Anyway. As like the way you describe her just being super mistrustful because she had only been in bad relationships. Like when I meet a great guy, like I met an amazing guy recently. My first question is, is he great or is he a narcissist?

Like I have such like, I'm like, am I, I almost just mistrust the situation waiting for the other shoe to drop well you watch that woman's youtube videos too so you're like dr romany so you're like hyper aware of yeah so it's like oh my god like i have no complaints this must be a red flag yeah or am i being love bombed am i yeah like he's so amazing oh this is like i'm now i'm freaking out. Like I'm looking for things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm now investigating.

Yeah, that's tough, yeah. And I feel like that's a me issue. That's not a him issue. But I feel like I don't know a single woman who doesn't bring, who hasn't had this past of bad relationships. Then they have to always be a little skeptical until they do find that trust.

Yeah, be protective. Yeah. No, totally. I think that's common. Yeah, be protective. Yeah. No, totally. I think that's common. Yeah, anyway. So I'll see you guys later. Actually, Todd's here. We're getting married.

Should we Google that? No, I think vows are weird. I went to my friend's wedding years ago, and he got divorced. So it's like when you see someone someone go through and you go what are those vows oh my god yes oh no i had like a bicycle wedding they were like bike they like bikes and they spent like bike jokes this was the most obnoxious wedding i'd ever seen like it was a week-long wedding like maybe 800 people a really to-do because they came from like two big families.

This is in Asia. Divorced in six months. Really? Six months. No way. Like I just could not. Do you know what happened? I don't.

I mean, I don't know, but I. Get out. Like he had a completely separate second family. What? No. What?

Come on, that's the whole thing. That's the movie. family. What? No. What? Come on, that's the whole thing. That's the movie. That's crazy. What was his job? And when she confronted him and said, hey, he was not willing to stop seeing her or to stop being a, you know, like, oh, he had a family. He had another woman.

But she didn't know about it, obviously. Okay, wait. So I want to dissect this. It was like a merging of families, but she really believed that they were in love. Family? Not just another partner? But he had children with her. He had children?

I believe so. What was his job that he was able to do that? He is just an heir. Like an heir. He is just a... Oh, just a rich guy. It's so annoying that women can't have a secret second family. Because you'd see our pregnancies.

Yeah, like that. It would just be so baller if some woman had a secret second family let's try that off let's do it i'll try my best i don't wear baggy or shorts but to pull off a pregnant honestly guys are so dumb i could see it like easily happening they don't even look just be like i have ascites there's some fluid shift in my belly and you know i'm going through some autoimmune stuff and it's kicking i don't even look. Just be like, I have ascites. There's some fluid shift in my belly. And, you know, I'm going through some autoimmune stuff. And it's kicking. I don't know why it's kicking.

And then the guy's like, are you pregnant? It's like, so you think I'm fat? Yeah, exactly. Guys are so scared to say, like, are you pregnant? To be in a stand there with, like, full nine-month pregnant belly. And they with like full nine month pregnant belly and they're like are you pregnant and you're like no do you still love you guys still love your dog as much no shut up no no we have friend though right because they're not your baby anymore well we've we zoe found a miniature schnauzer that was walking alone like sniffing a tree by the 101 freeway a long time ago and we

took her and we fostered her and then kept her trixie is her name oh and she was like our dog and then when we would go on trips she was a little skittish with kids but and then she would stay with zoe's dad he would look after her and like they became very tight. That's his best friend. And when we had our twins, because during COVID, Zoe got pregnant with some guy's baby. Somehow, I don't know. It was so weird. She came home. Did you feel awkward bringing it up? Were you pregnant?

We were on like a yoga trip. She, yeah. So we were like, let's try. She got pregnant and happy baby. She got pregnant. Well, we waited a little bit in January. We found out in February. We found out on the table there was two babies in there.

Wow. She had a full breakdown because she was like, I don't think I can. She was really nervous to be pregnant once with one kid. She was like, had a full meltdown. Were you kind of like psyched? Were you like? I was. Yeah, because it was weird because at one point I had made a comment,

not being trying to be silly or something, but I was like, I put my head, I was like yeah, because it was weird. Cause at one point I had made a comment, not being, try to be silly or something, but I was like, I put my head, I was like laying in bed together and I was like, oh, what if there's two or something? I said something like that before we knew. And then we, and then I thought when the woman was like, oh, oh, like one baby and two, here's the other baby. We were like, what?

It was, it was weird. Cause I had this like feeling. Yeah. And then I was like, wait, is she messing with us? And Zoe's and zoe's like no wait what and then looked at the screen and she's like yeah and then zoe's like had a full meltdown the woman's like hugging her giving her tissues anyway nightmare but yeah but we we so we confirmed it like a couple like a month later two months later and then and then covet a month later, the world shuts down. And that was that time. Wow. But she was, she was amazing. She carried both babies till full, full term, 38 weeks.

And she was, I'll show you photos. Of the birth? We'll put them up. It's on. No, it's okay. I'm just kidding. I've seen her stomach. It was really, yeah, it was wild.

Yeah, twins. There was two. We had twins. We have two boys, fraternal twins. Totally different. Look twins totally different look totally different great totally different personalities really fun they're almost three so it's getting wild do you guys now i really connect to your story and like parents of twins i feel connected to do you feel like do you guys now feel like this cool relief that like or does she feel or

ever talk about like okay well that's kind of cool i got two done at once kind of yeah because well i think there's a you know what happened like she her mom got like you know she's very tight with her mom and her she her mom sort of like put it out in her head that she was having two girls and zoe spends so much time i think like with shooting women for fashion and like she's very close to like a community of feeling connected to more of like female energy yeah so when we found out we had two boys she like she uh she was so she's like oh my god what do i do two boys i can't do this i don't know how to do this. And then it was like, no, it's going to be, don't worry, babe. It's going to be great. Yeah.

I got this. But, but, and then now we, so we had two and she's couldn't be more like happy and connected to them. So, but we, we always talk about like, you know, what if we went, tried again and had like a girl, it'd be like fun to have experience both sides of raising children of different. We froze embryos, my fiance and I, and they're all boys. And I'm like so bummed out. You are?

Yeah. I would definitely want girls. I just, I love my nephews. My nieces were first and I like connected with them so much. And my twin brother's kids. I don't know. I just like, I always like imagined like i'm like a like you know i know i really really would want a girl too yeah but but everyone who has a

boy is so and i love my it's like they're so cute and they're so funny and they seem they're i feel like girls and boys are easier and more difficult in different ways like the boys are just so crazy like they're just like running around being insane screaming all the time and the girls are like very emotional they were so emotional since they were so young and like like just really feeling everything was like really intense always but um we i have friends who have like you know two daughters my cousin has two daughters and and it's you always hear stories when like her kids became teenagers how hard it gets i mean that's wild and then like it's always you you hear you always hear stories of like both experiences and it's it each experience is so unique and subjective

but but um everything has challenges yeah i feel like that's where my expertise would kick in just shitty teenagers shitty girl teenagers because I was a shitty girl teenager. I was shit with my parents. So I feel like it's like whatever tricks you have up your sleeve, I've done bitch. Like, yeah. I do think I felt like I was gonna get my comeuppance with that.

Like I did just assume, but who knows if I ended up having kids like naturally or with the embryos or defrost doing nothing, giving them to Josh Potter to fix his eye. Take the stem cells, Josh. But, you know, whatever happens happens. But I do think I thought I was going to get like an evil girl that was going to. Did you know that there's like biological reasons why,

like when you're a teenager, you start to like hate your parents? It's because when you once you're like through puberty and at like you could technically mate you want to like get away from your parents did i show this video yeah yeah because you're you're not supposed to like it's to it's to get away from inbreeding yeah so you like leave your village to you're supposed to find them like repulsive so it's like not your fault if you're like a mean teen yeah you're like you said it's so much cuter than that guy it's biology to be a mean teen that's so wild and then when you but the sad part is they're like then around 25 when you're no longer in the peak of reproductive age group you start to like your parents again like

no but if that were true like we'd all still be hating our parents because we still need to meet um yeah but what i was thinking about when my when my mom found out the story of when my mom found out she was pregnant with twins was she already had my older brother who was two and a half at the time and they just wanted to have two kids and at the ultrasound they said it was twins. And my dad was like, yes. Like my sperm was strong. You know, my mom just started crying and was like devastated. Yeah. It's a lot. Did you guys, either of you have twins in the family?

Not in the way that I think would have got us to this point. No, because it just, I mean, I think if Zoe had identical twins in her family, I think genetically like the egg splitting, I think that's where genetics maybe plays a part. I mean, I don't see how I could, if I had twins in my family, how that has an effect on it. Really? Yeah, because it would be, it's two eggs are fertilized at the same time. Two eggs are released. The woman has the eggs.

Oh, no, because I have a friend who. I think. She's a twin, so her mom had her, and then her mom's brothers, all three of them had twins. Oh, wow. And they're all fraternal. Wow. So I do think there is a genetic- All natural.

Yeah. Not IVF. Yeah. Interesting. I know it's weird with IVF. You could just put like- Yeah. but you know it's so funny when we we didn't we took a while for us to find the ob that we used we met so many people and it was all through covid so it was all on zooms yeah it was like all these zoom and by the way i wasn't allowed into some of the doctors right yeah there was like we we were

nervous because we were like oh man what if cedars doesn't let me go into the room and like she's having the kids so luckily by the time we did we they were born i was able to go but i i sat in so many sessions and in the car with it with facetime on while zoe was in the in her appointment yeah so bizarre like i'll be outside like parked outside in the car. It's so sad. But yeah, every time we called an OB office, we were like, oh, yeah, my wife's pregnant with twins. Twins? Oh, my God. Amazing. IVF? It was always like, no.

And I said, oh, no, natural. Natural? Wow. That's amazing. Especially in LA. I was like, what? I didn't realize. I was like, oh, really?

Cool. I didn't know it was such a thing that it was like to do that. Do you guys remember Nadia Suleiman, Octomom? Yes. You know, I was watching this thing on her, like, you know, what she's been up to. Like, she's a great mom, it seems. Like, her whole life revolves

around, like, I don't know if you've ever just seen her talk about her kids, but, like, she is on her shit. I know she got a lot of shit for doing this, but i kind of want to have eight babies at once that would be so cool you would have like you would they would have to split you from your neck of your to get those babies out i mean it's hard you know it's really hard they'd have to gouge out the eyes it's amazing to have you know be able to raise eight at this eight babies at the same time it's hyper changes feeding is really and she had

no father right it was all like sperm donor yeah really yeah weird i mean this is a different kind of breeding kink for sure i mean i have a breeding kink but it does not look like this it doesn't involve like she tried to get many is this what was this like why why did eight suddenly did she put eight eggs i think she put more and i think eight. I like the one little ginger one. So she chose to have many at the same time. Oh, look at the little redhead with blue eyes. She came out the same time as a tan mom. Oh.

A lot of weird moms. You were more of a tan mom girl? I was a tan, I was a spray tan mom. The kid with the red hair was just, he was just photobombing. Yeah. He's like. He was just walking by. He's a neighbor. You see that vegan influencer who just passed away.

No. From starvation. But I was going to say. She was all excited. No, because I thought you were going to say that there was like this, this sperm bank or something came out with this information that like people won't accept sperm donations from redheads. From redheads.

That's so crazy. I i know i think that's been a while i think that that i i think they're re-accepting now because i think for a while there they were like let's hold off on the redheads but you're not i get along with redheads because i feel like they've been through a lot like you know what i mean like i'm like you guys have been through some shit but i think if it's still a business and no one is you know there's crazy no one is asking for redhead. You have to have gone to college too, I think. Are you talking about eggs, Esther, or sperm?

Yeah, that's right. Because I don't think women were going in there at that time asking, like buying, you know, specifically like jeans. Right. Mean. Well, Robert, thank you so much. What? That's it? didn't someone die did i are you kicking me off wait what did i do no we're at our time we got oh yeah yeah yeah sorry

the vegan you don't want to make this a double episode can we have a double i didn't feel done annie does a surprise i got the signal you guys are blaming me i responded to the signal we got a red light is the light on in the back no they they move something over to know that we're at I got the signal. You guys are blaming me. I responded to the signal. We got it 10 minutes ago. Is the light on in the back? No, they moved something over to know that we're at our time. Should we throw it to our sponsors, Chiquita Banana?

No, but Clyde, if you want it. We should get it. That's a really good idea. No. But thank you so much for being here. This was awesome. Thank you so much. I'm so happy I'm here.

Thank you guys. Thank you for being vulnerable. You kind of gave us your vows. In a weird way, you did the thing that you said was correct. We all got married today. Oh, yeah. Thank you. I'm happy I'm here. Thank you. Thank you for being you kind of gave us your vows in a weird way. You did the thing we all got married today. Oh, yeah. Thank you.

I'm happy I'm here. And it's nice to be here. And yeah. And Esther, good to see you. You know, yeah. This is awesome. So what do we do now? Well, we'll see you guys

next week with a brand new episode and check out Robert on Instagram and Google him and see how fabulous he is. It's at Robert Schwartzman. Check it out. That's S-C-H-W-a-r-t-z-m-a-n bye guys all right take care you