Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Annie Lederman and Rudy's First Prom

Episode Date: June 15, 2021

Thank you to our Sponsors:   Exposed Booty Tape - Get 10% off with promo code BATHGIRLS at http://exposedtape.com BetterHelp - Get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at http://betterhelp.com/bloodbath HelloFresh - Go to https://HelloFresh.com/bloodbath12 and use code bloodbath12 for 12 free meals, including free shipping  Magic Spoon - Go to https://magicspoon.com/BATHGIRLS and use promo code BATHGIRLS at checkout to save five dollars off your order Trash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Subscribe to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/HitOurButtons Official Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8X Listen to Annie on the Joe Rogan Experience #1667: https://open.spotify.com/episode/71L5tUSEQwTa4Mk2HuFl0h Get more Rudy on Bad Friends: https://open.spotify.com/show/3gaGfrqgnVqUBNDdtv5p3S Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491 Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: George Kimmel & Pete Forthun Editor: Gabby Galon --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/trashtuesday/message

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it's free shocking that esther that's what you were about to say right yes it's free uh-huh it's always number one on our list it's free everyone wants to freaking start a podcast this is the easiest way we're about to tell you there's creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or computer and and and they will distribute your podcast for you so it it can be heard from spotify apple podcasts and all of the platforms basically also you can make money from your podcast with no minimum listenership the best i mean imagine that that's like the lowest, that's low pressure. Everything you need. Just start one with Anchor. Everything you need to make a podcast

all in one place. Just download the free Anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started. Hey guys, I am back on the road doing live stand-up comedy shows and it has been a blast. Thank you to all the slugs that have come out and I cannot wait to meet the rest of you. You can see me next at Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank, California, July 15th in Utah, Salt Lake City,

Wise Guys, July 16th through 17th. The Tempe Improv in Arizona, August 6th through 8th. Caroline's on Broadway in New York City, August 12th through 14th. Bakersfield, California at the Tremler Brewing Company, August 21st, and Hartford, Connecticut at the Funny Bone, August 27th through 29th. A lot more dates are coming up. So check those all out at AnnieLetterman.com. And my dear friend, Esther Bavitsky, you may know her as Little Esther or Little Edgar, has her very own clothing line.

She has casual, comfortable sweats called Sleepover by esther and they are available at sleepoverester.com sleepoverbyester.com thank you sleepover by esther excuse me we have some really cute drops that i think are available right now kristin dunst do you remember she was like kirsten dunst kirsten dunst oh my god know her? No. She was in a workout class once. She has such a good body. She really has the ultimate body. But she was a small child, and she kissed Brad Pitt. And I remember them being like, it was her first kiss.

Of course, she was like, really? She was, I don't know, eight years old or something. She was maybe like 10. And I remember all the interviews were like, oh, my God, what was it like to kiss Brad Pitt? It's like, ew, leave her alone. She's a small child and he's a grown ass man. That would not fly today. No, it's weird how much, how disgusting everything is.

Did you see the thing with Billie Eilish that happened? No. So, you know, she's always wearing like really baggy clothes and stuff like that. And she was like, what, 17, 15 when she started. And now she's 23 or 22 and she did some sort of magazine cover where she was like sexy yeah and she's getting backlash from all these people that were like but you were like someone that didn't care about your body and stuff like that it's like or maybe she was a fucking kid not trying to fuck and then now she's an adult and is like allowed to look sexy but that's the thing too it's like why aren't people allowed to change their mind like why do we have to hold them to what they

believed in five years ago reinvention baby just like a madonna's career we change i tried reinvention and i had to actually go back on that do you remember when i was trying to be a cowgirl you were so upset i was tennis remember i was tennis girl and then oh yeah this was in the pandemic these like they'll those scaled through fast though they were rapid fire i was gonna do every two weeks a new look wait i think i met you when you were your cowgirl phase yeah yeah you came with a cowboy hat and everything and i was like backwards and you can see the side the tag i don't remember seeing you in person in that look no that's when I wasn't allowed to see you. You were only hugging Kesha and famous people. Oh my God. That is, you tried to hug me at one party

and I don't want to be hugged. And then Kesha, like I couldn't stop Kesha. She was hugging me and I just had to go with it. Because she's famous. No, it's not because she's famous. You're projecting. I would not do that. To be fair, she has been to the Galapagos Islands

and that's a big plus with me. And I would hugha just wants to take her hug away she's like ew where did she go into an island i can't wait till we kidnap you and take you to beautiful places that you have to love what if esther didn't come back what if we took you to a place you thought you weren't gonna like and i got kidnapped and you should go home if you got like you getting kidnapped is so funny they'd be so disappointed you'd be the most demanding kidnap victim i know they'd be waiting on your hand and foot you would get them to somehow what's that benicio del toro one where oh uh excess baggage alicia silverstone and she i was in a barry's boot Camp next to her I also wait so was I was it

I don't think we were together she breastfed her baby till he was 10 right yeah he was in Barry's Boot Camp next to her breastfeeding

no yeah he did floor while she did and she went backwards so he could breastfeed while he was doing it you're lying of course I'm lying

but you went with it for a long time well I believe people when they say things to me is that bad in the comedy world yes 100 but it is why you're here they said they believed in you you can do this no but in my berries boot camp class she was there and the sun was outside the window and after like every five minutes she ran outside and gave him a kiss is that not your dream it's my dream you're sitting outside and your mom comes and kisses you and goes back in?

Well, yeah, you know. When I was little, my mom couldn't leave ballet. Like, I had to see her in the window of the studio, or I would freak out. So she had to stand there and just, like, stare at the whole class.

Do you understand your power? No. I'm realizing my power now, too. I realized that my whole family was terrified of me, and I was in control of the whole thing. Really? And that's what you are 100 hundred percent wait that's interesting you controlled

the whole like I don't think I did they were so afraid of what would happen if you got upset that they were like all right you can sit and stare at your daughter it's weird but yes your mom's just like so nice. It's just. You guys, we should probably acknowledge what we're doing today. Oh, yeah. And why we're dressed the way we are. I'm transitioning. I mean, I'm going to prom. Annie, you've never been to a prom.

They wouldn't let me. They didn't let the juvenile delinquents go. They figured we'd all pop out babies in the bathroom. And today is actually Jules' prom. It's Rudy's prom. So exciting. And that's why we're dressed the way we are today. This is my actual high school prom dress.

And you guys can't see this, but I'm unable to zip the back. I would hope so. No, I mean. Who weighs the same as them? If you're at your high school weight, we have issues. You have an eating disorder because you're never naturally, you're like that high school skin. You have a different metabolism.

Yeah, but I mean, it's almost there. I'm just saying. It's very close. The zipper is broken. The zipper is broken. Oh, it's broken. It can zip. Oh, it's not like your muffin top popped it out?

No, no, no. I can still fit in it, guys. This dress outfit is from like four years ago and it's not zipping. From your bat mitzvah? I've never seen more of a bat mitzvah outfit in my life. It's appropriate because it's like cute, but it is like. I just didn't have any dress. I don't wear dresses.

So this was the best I could do for prom. Me neither. But you knew I'd take this swing. Annie, I think that you look extremely hot. It's time for my man to put on my corsage on me. I will. And Esther, don't like squirt while I'm doing this. I know I'm your dream guy right now.

No, you really do look like a hot guy vampire. You really look like Taylor Hansen now. Wait, I actually was thinking that, that this phenomenon that's happening right now to you guys is what happened in middle school when guys were like, you look like taylor hansen but they were into me so they were like jerking off to like this hybrid man woman thing oh this just goes on your wrist i thought they oh it goes pinned onto the guy they had pinned that the boot in your goes on the man thank you you have to fuck me if i do this guys when they slide this on it's like i'm taking your virginity i'm a yes lady it's not any of our banging tonight oh we're for sure banging tonight

so small i'm tonguing you. No, no. Did you use the scraper? Tongue scraper? I tongue scraped today. I can see your bear tit. It's because it's hairy. Did you know that I clogged the toilet at my prom? Annie, you have to put her corsage too.

No. Wait, you clogged the toilet at your prom? Well, I guess technically it was after prom. I clogged it in the hotel room that me and my boyfriend were staying in. You guys had a hotel room? Yeah. Isn't it weird how parents allow that? Wait, parents allow that? Yes.

I didn't know this about... Well, my high school boyfriend slept over at my house all the time. So it wasn't like... Door open or shut? Shut. Do they make you breakfast in the morning? No. Well, fuck.

I had to sneak all over town. Like, the places, the amount of strange places I've had sex. Because, you know, the door had to be open if a boy was over. Even if the boy was, there's no way my dad would allow a boy over anyway. So, I'd have to sneak him in. We'd fuck in the garage, the baseball diamond. The bullpen, I mean. Oh, my gosh.

It was the strangest places. Anywhere there was a cut, we'd do it. Does that, like, now as an adult, do you like doing it in strange places? No, of course not. Yeah, I don't. That's what I don't understand. People that want to do sex in a weird place. Thank you, sir.

They want to do sex in a weird place. I'm like, why would you want anything other than a bed? I used to love banging in bathrooms like that was what i don't know why this is when i was a drunk obviously but when i would go to santa fe i would do like a tour of i go back to visit and i do like a tour of the bathrooms i banged in and like tag the guy you still got with there were nice ones with the like shelf windows and stuff when i did those it was always just for the thrill and not for the actual vaginal pleasure are you standing up do you stand up no one comes sit on the um they come sit on the sink like it

would be like one of those sinks um there was a nice one but it was usually when i was working honestly i was a waitress and then i was hooking up with this guy that was a bartender at the bar like a couple buildings down and we would go we would like swap seats on our breaks and go bang in the bathrooms did you get a thrill like did you i got pints of jaeger jaeger by the pint did you like love it or like it was really fun it was very fun fun but doesn't feel you know i didn't come from it no one comes well yeah well no girls come from that but i like if i was just in a bathroom like sitting on a dirty sink like i feel like everything would just that would be dry yeah even like having sex in the pool same thing it's uti just waiting to happen have tried me too in

water it doesn't work can i ask what was it because you watch swim fan no well that probably seeded that early on but no i i there's like a friction there's like a chem um is it physics yeah i think there's like a law of physics why underwater sex doesn't work well it like replaces your natural lube with a lube that doesn't actually like chlorinated vagina either it's like rubbing it yeah or like shower sex then it's like which one of us is under the water i don't want to be cold well we know who's under the water hester's an under i mean where else have you had sex that's weird a lot of bathrooms a lot of bathrooms not just bathrooms but a lot of bathrooms like it's terrible too it's like back in the day like this is so funny but it's disgusting it is horrible i wonder if you have

a strong immune system because of that my pussy can take some germs it can fight off colds really can i want to talk more about prom and i want to know why you clog the toilet also if you don't do a joke on stage about how you clog the toilet and be like it wasn't a baby you have to um you're right i so i went to two proms i went to because my boyfriend in high school my high school sweetheart who's blocked me on all social media um he was a year older than me so i went to his senior prom with him and then the next year when i was a senior I went with my best guy friend um and you know clogged the toilet just the typical had to use the toilet is that why he blocked you no he blocked you like you blocked that toilet from going down but um yeah you know we went with his group of friends because it was his prom and it was fine i didn't know anyone at that prom

because i didn't know that class very well i i don't know i don't understand like the myth the myth behind prom i think it's just it's just a party with a dj it's like a bar mitzvah it's just a reason to get cute with friends it seems like disappoint it would be disappointing it seems like the there's a lot of buildup. And I mean, I've had to tell myself that because I didn't get to go. I'm like, eh, what a suck. But also as someone that was like so, I mean, I could go to like a dance club and dance a little bit now. But back in the day, I really like when I would go to school dances, you know, I was like in the corner of people like fucking losers because we just couldn't dance. It wasn't like we just had to play cool. You what here's what life's about i'm gonna tell you

it's about being with the right group of people it doesn't matter the activity but if you're with people who you have that fuck yeah connection with where anything can be fun and i don't think i ever had like a prom neither of those problems with that group which like i feel like i have those people in my life now they might be in this room um george i'm looking at you and i was like this bitch is definitely leaving me out i'm gonna fucking kill her um so i do think that like i never went with that right group and i would love to i would love to do it all over again with the right group of people let's go should we crash a Well, it's $50 for chaperones to get into Jules' prom. That is so disgusting.

Wait, you can be a chaperone? Oh, yeah. Prom costs money. No, it's disgusting for a chaperone. Be like, I'm going to pay $50 to hang out with a bunch of kids in dresses and suits. Wait, anyone can just go? Anyone. Anyone can just go.

Do you not see that? We could crash it. We could be like, hey, $50. We're chaperones. But I tried to offer to drive her to prom i was like hey let me drive you she was like no bitch take an uber not a fucking chance i'm showing up in that three door prius where is her prom not too far um at water you know what's funny though the reason i know i am one of those friends to you is the most fun we've had is like at 7-eleven getting slurpees

yeah we've never had fun i mean not that we don't have fun at the events but the events are never the fun time. It's always like weird. Getting ready. Getting ready is my favorite part about going that was the only reason I think I truly still fantasize about Vegas with girls. It's just getting ready and being silly in the hotel room and you know playing what do you call it? What do you

Americans call it? Slap butt? What is that? Lick puss? Slap ass? What do you call it, George? No one knows. When you're just fooling around with the boys. With the boys? Grab ass. She's like, you know, when you're fooling around with the boys.

You're getting ready with your girls and then boys are touching you. No, no. When you're just playing grab ass with your girls. That's a colloquial term. Colloquial. It's a word that I've heard before. And I'm not sure of getting ready with the girls that's a colloquial term colloquial it's a word that i've heard before and i'm not sure of uh getting ready with the girls in the hotel i think the important part for esther to really paint the picture allow get into her head is that when we do go to vegas she's

gonna grab your ass so just be happy grateful that's fine i love that when i went to vegas with my friend caroline goldfarb and super funny And we went to see Britney and getting, I do, like the most vivid memory I have is us getting ready in the hotel. Yeah, the buildup is the best part. Like even when you make out with a boy, the kiss itself is not fun. The buildup to the kiss is the best. That threesome story I told you with our unnamed friend. Yeah.

I still don't know who that is. You have to tell me after. You're going to love it. It's actually really good. It's such a good twist answer. Like none of these people will ever guess it unless they were at any of the shows that I was just fully saying her name and then she was like, can you stop saying my name? It just didn't occur to me. I was like, I told my agent, I was like, is that bad? But we, I do, I, the fondest memories

were the getting ready. We're cracking up. The whole thing. For the threesome? Well, it was going to be us like banging dudes next to each other. And then the guy left. So, yeah, it was like, we're going to go pick up, we're going to go get some dick. And just start outfitting them. So you're really, you were really down with the like, fuck a stranger vibe. Yeah. I'm just, I think it's.

Every time I've done it, it's been horrible. There's one time it was. It's God's doing that we didn't meet earlier in life. Yes. Because I think we would have both been dead and raped in a ditch together. Or we would have given each other. By me. We would have given each other.

By Esther. Me shoveling the dirt. You shoveling it? Dave comes and shovels for you? Dave would never help me in a crime. I already know that. He would turn you in. Yes. Esther, I want to know. He would turn you in. Yes.

Esther, I want to know the breakdown of your prom outfits. And did you put a lot of thought into it? I actually didn't. So I always was like the contrarian growing up. So if all the girls were like focused on their prom, like I would be like, oh, I'll just do it last minute. Like I got my dress like right before, like probably like two days before and same with like shoes or whatever.

I had a BCBG strapless, like bright green turquoisey. It was so 2000s. It would probably kill right now. It would absolutely kill. That's what they're selling right now. No, it was like so 2000s where it had like kind of some frilliness and like a, you know, a ruched, is that what it's called? A ruching, yeah.

Bunching. And that was my, for the first prom with the, I think, yeah. And then the next one I went Marilyn Monroe, very similar to yours. I found like the most Marilyn Monroe white dress I could find and that's what I wore. White dress is a problem. I mean, it does look like you are ordained to marry me and kalilah you look i do look like a bride i've never been more excited about a product that we've endorsed on this podcast bobby plays his game with me where he pins me down and he just likes to spread my cheeks as far apart as possible.

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slash bloodbath join over 1 million people who have taken charge of their mental health again that's betterhelp.com well my thing was i didn't have a lot of money in high school. My mom, my parents did not have a lot of money. We didn't have a car, I had the MTA bus pass. So I too did not have plans for a dress. Cause I was like, oh, I could just go to the mall and find something like that's $25, didn't find one. But my mom was so sweet. She saw that I was like really struggling.

And so three days before prom, she was like, let's pay for a seamstress. I think that's like the cheapest route and get what you want and i tore out this picture of hallie berry um i one of like her red carpet events and it was a purple dress and i went to the seamstress and i said make me a replica of this wait really it wasn't it wasn't it was days before too wait so you had a custom prom dress i did and my mom had just like taken out of her savings a little savings that she had and she was like it's okay it's like a special day holy shit and

then um we didn't quite get the replica because the dress was actually purple but there's like this lady was like this cloth is actually cheaper so let's go with this cloth oh all the way to the right the top right top top right that one it was supposed to be that that's beautiful it does this actually looks like it but kind of kind of this the one that got made for you yeah oh it's so cute this is from high school and it's supposed to be that yes it's supposed to be that um but um and it's backless you could wear this on your wedding it's just not gonna happen because um there's everything's broken it's dirty i you could wear this on your wedding it's just not gonna happen because um there's everything's broken it's dirty i thought you were gonna have like a naked it's a little

too dirty for her wedding yeah it's a little too dirty have you seen the groom but my date was jason bullock he was really hot and he was my boyfriend but you have to pay 50 bucks to go to pay 50 bucks to be my chaperone so i okay so i didn't get to go to prom because of the juvenile delinquent stuff and then i had another opportunity where max my twin brother who i skipped up in high school what yeah i skipped eighth grade i was in kindergarten two years it's true why did you skip eighth grade like that you just like nobody noticed i just said can i be in the upper school? They were not there to teach us. They were there to have sex with us.

You just chose to skip? I just said, can I be in the upper school? We didn't have great. It was like middle school and upper school. It worked out then because weren't you and Max held back? Upper school? Yes. You know, it is called high school.

Well, yes, I do know that. And we were high. Do you guys want to see Jules's dress for prom? Yeah. She's not made up, but we could probably. I feel like, Esther, this dress would be a hit with you. I can't wait. You know what? I'm a little disappointed about your prom description.

What? I kind of was hoping you were one of those girls that got the super done prom hair with like the tight curls. I probably did have an updo. Did you do the tendrils in the front? No, I was a little bit past that. Like I was, that was a little before my time. Like I think my sister had that. Oh boy, did I have the tendrils.

And I had the crimped hair cause I went to two proms as well. Crimped. But my senior prom, that's the only regret I have is that I try to do, I didn't know how to do my makeup. So I did all white eyeshadow and that made my eyes look this small and my hair was crimped and I already have naturally one eye bigger than the other so all my prom pictures was just one eye fully blasted open and one tiny little eye well you're winking I was that's the best emoji I wish I had been more

confident in high school like I think I was pretty good but I wish I would have more confident in high school. Like, I think I was pretty good. But I wish I would have, when it came to prom, done something a little crazier. Like, taken my mom as my prom date. Like, I wish I would have done something that pissed everybody off. Or, like, how you weren't one of those people that choreographed a dance in the middle of prom. By the way, I only go off of the proms I've seen in movies. There's always a dance in the middle. Wait, what was your final song?

I have no idea. Do you? You don't remember? No. Ours was was your final song? I have no idea. Do you remember? No. Ours was Casey and JoJo all my life. That's a good one. I would ask you Annie, but. Well, my camp dance,

the last song was always Stairway to Heaven. It's a fucking 45 minute song. Wait, what's a camp dance? He had his dance at camp. You did? You went to camp? Yeah, I went to Quaker camp adult as an adult oh wait i saw the pictures you were tweenie i was yeah i went from like 9 to 14 i um i feel like i

just never liked the traditional parts of high school i was so into my own little universe that i built for myself like the football games drove me crazy. The like prom was meaningless to me. I just was so like focused on my little world that I created and I just didn't care. And I, even though like I stand by doing that, I'm also like, well, you know, it could have been really nice to have like that once in a lifetime experience and.

Of going to the football game? Of like participating. I think we should crash Jules' prom tonight and to have a like participating no i think we should crash jules's prom tonight and to have a redo and i think we should dance our little hearts out it's my first prom and it would be annie's first prom we could take pictures we didn't have a why is george laughing like this was already planned and that's i'm being sprung what oh my god you're so paranoid it's so so funny. Is this like a, what's going on? Is this real? I think that we should drop some 50s down,

chaperone, and just tear it up. You're all looking at me. Because you're freaking out. You all knew this was coming. And like, if I did this, Esther, Jules would never speak to me again. And also, let's be real. It would be like pig's blood from Carrie.

You would fucking kill us. By the way, my dream is for pig's blood to fall on you, and I know it would be the worst thing that ever happened to you, but I just want you to know that there's a dream in my heart. That is inappropriate to say. Here comes Jules with her dress. Come on in, Jules. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, it's tie-dye. It's so cute. Are you upset they stole your thing? Where did you get it? It's Retro Fets. That's, this is gorgeous. Retro Fets, the brand. Oh my God, do you have a boyfriend?

No. Oh, you're going to leave with one? You're so hot. This is so hot. Now you're definitely going to beat up Esther. Oh my God, Jules, that dress. Jules, your dress. I feel like an old lady.

Like, I'm like, oh my God, look at the pretty young girl. You want to like pinch her cheeks, you know? Wait, hang on a second. So Jules, you don't have a date, right? No. That was a choice? Yeah.

Really? Yeah, we tried to offer her some date potentials and she was like, no, I'm going alone. Who, like Christy Stefano? Who'd you offer? Really?

Giannis or Chris? Let's settle it. And so what advice would you give to a shy girl going to prom in terms of like how you get in on the dance floor? You, I think you just do whatever, like, or just own what you're doing. You're going by yourself.

You don't have a date. Like, you look great. Just own that. Because the only thing that matters is you being confident. So just dance by yourself. She's getting so uncomfortable. dance like no one's watching jules also on stand like no one's filming you that's it you the way you stand the way you're very like this is not going to catch you a dick girl so you gotta stand it will but it's not it's gonna be someone that's like i can take advantage of her yeah it's not gonna be the dick you want shoulders up shoulders up

oh god we're parents also i don't know if you know this but we've all yes up higher higher i love telling people there you go that's it one leg up knee up also jules um you don't know this but we've all paid our 50 to be your chaperones tonight so we'll just we're just gonna tear it up on the dance floor guess who's gonna be in the pictures with you and that's your date jules you look so stunning in this dress i knew you would love it back to you you look so stunted it's so beautiful it looks great did you try a bunch on did you know that's right off online she was like that's that was the one and it just fit her body how unfair is life oh my god

all right jules well thank you for your time we'll see you tonight on the dance floor oh my god she's so upset with you do you have a thong i see your panty line no wear whatever underwear you want. Don't listen to this grim groomer. What do you think she should do with her hair? Wavy or pinned like sleek down? Ooh, sleek, I think. I feel like the wavy though goes with the dress more.

It's kind of like free spirit. I feel like for 90s sake, it would be sleek with like barrettes. And it would clash with the style barrettes yeah and it would clash with the stuff oh with this with this yeah with a little so she really has prom there's really prom they really have and they all got all the kids got tested or show their vax cards oh my god i thought you meant sexual ssds i was like they're being this open about it they can just go fuck freely i'm like this is so unfair we had to go to bathrooms can we take a banana break yeah okay thank god

i'm trying to do the prince harry oh isn't that cute when he does i do like what did he do it feels like like kind of fine but also like is she your doll? What did Prince Harry do? He always pulls her like hair out of her eyes or her side. Really? Yeah. I think that is really cute. I do think that in Strange Turn of Events he turned out to be the way hotter brother. I

think about this all the time and when you look at pictures of them when they're younger William is hotter and Harry is so not fucking hot. But then now it's like the reverse and you just feel like you're in Bizarro World. How did this even happen? Well, I can tell you how.

It's male pattern baldness. And it came very early. No, I think his face, I don't know what it is. I just think that he was the cutie and now Harry is so freaking cute. Do you know what he is i just think that he was the cutie and now harry is so freaking do you know what he really needs though is neutrophil um a wonderful product he can fly a plane he's harry he's been through a lot he dressed up like a nazi it's like he's been through so much but here's what i'll say here's what why he's not hot to me anymore he is so megan's bitch i'm sorry if it's like illegal

to say that remember megan listens to this podcast oh that's right in our in our mind does she really well then this is a compliment are you serious i'm serious i'm serious i was like i hope she likes what i said about i could never fantasize about being with him because he so belongs to her. Let's say, let's play it out. Let's say you were single. Okay. Right. And you really have the hots for Harry.

And you're a little bit hotter. You know that things are a little bit. You're a little hotter. He's shown some interest. You guys have flirted in the past. You know, there's already natural chemistry. You met at like a CAA party. Right you know megan and him the best place to meet people your agency's party megan and him are on the rocks things aren't working out at home

and you sort of have this like clandestine on the low like flirtation going on how would you think how would you react if megan confronts you is it megan or megan megan megan how how there's a megan there's no world where i would threaten megan this is harry esther this is megan and i are done it's you baby i want to be with you i am sorry harry i would rather just stay friends i've seen how you've publicly bent over backwards for her you shit on your family like which is hot but it wasn't for me and i'll never get it out of my mind i will be so insecure thinking about everything you did for her and how you you have to top it for me that it just wouldn't ever work out between us but i respectfully i respectfully

decline the offer what if he immediately like was like hold on and like called the queen was like you stupid bitch cunt and then with that what would he have to do to top what he did for megan what would he have to do for you murder and like like and not get away with it in a way she's easy to get like go to prison and then you guys would conjugal visit then i would be like you know we can do this there's a way i see but he would you challenged by all the girls that would be like obsessed with him because he's a murderer now yeah but that would always be there will always be tons of women obsessed with him but i just for me i need to i

need to like know your whole history and just know that like i i'm like the dominant woman in your life like for sure do you get along with people's mothers that you date yeah well i get along with my current mother-in-law not really legally but that's what you'd call her but in the past guys parents have typically hated me do you play sub oh my god my high school boyfriend oh that's right his parents hated me they said remember i went over for hanukkah dinner and then the next day he's like my mom thought it was weird you didn't offer to help and i was like i that is weird what that is weird, Esther. I'm like, you don't have... Knowing her is not weird, but... My mom, they fucked me up, okay?

I get in trouble like that. I'm a victim. I get in trouble like that. I'm a victim. Can we just clip that? I'm a victim. They didn't like my fancy matzah that I brought like from a really cool boutique.

Oh, so you did bring... I brought something, yeah. Nobody seemed to like it but you know what kind of mother would be well best suited for you then asian moms because they want you to do nothing if you offer to help they'll be like what are you like you know they don't want you to lift the finger everything is just hand and foot served on a yep although day's mom is a very jewish mom and she the last time we stayed there, really took good care of me. And I was like, I could do this again.

I could get used to this. So Jewish or Asian moms are best suited for you, I think. Although that was a Jew. Well, that was a converted Jew mom. But also when your kid's in high school, you don't need to like their girlfriend. Do you know what I mean? It's like, what are the chances they're going to end up with their high school sweetheart? That's true.

Well, Dave's parents were high school sweethearts. So he always thought like his first girlfriend was he was gonna marry her. Did Dave have a high school sweetheart? No, a college sweetheart. And does that like, do you like hearing stories about that? No. I'm really, and she's like, seems probably very lovely,

but I'm like- Do you look at her Instagram? No, I don't know her Instagram, but i'm like do you look at her instagram no i don't know her instagram but i've like met her a few times because she's in our world oh and i yeah and i'm just well also she has something that you'll never have what a degree and a harvard degree she like obviously does not give a fuck about me but i have like my own secret mental relationship with her like it's so pathetic i i do understand that pathetic you know what you do you pull a bobby you know what bobby does he follows every single one of my exes on instagram oh all of them why

he i have no idea it's dominance no i don't know if it's dominance or it's just psychopathy like it is honestly he's like all of them babe what's so-and-so's instagram handle why do you need to know that i'm gonna follow him that's so weird no i'm gonna tell you why it's dominance because bobby knows he's something special right and bobby's going i'm gonna take my little check mark and my tons of followers and i'm just gonna pop in and like some of their things and just give them the gift of me on their page oh god you're right what a narcissist I love it though it's so funny let's talk about hello fresh oh I love it tell me more I got my first order last week it's so good I, it came two portions.

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no i but in the beginning i was insecure yeah like i definitely don't check on anyone now but yeah in the beginning i was so insecure i think i just never get that type of insecure with guys and it's i have gotten blindly cheated on so hard because of it like just not even it just doesn't occur to me just because i just project what i am and i would just never have the energy or the i would feel how did you find out you were being cheated on uh one time was i looked at his his phone was in my car he was like go get my phone and i sent him like i made spoon it was when before there was a iphone so i made i was trying to make spoon emojis so like with the parenthesis and then an l underneath and i wanted to see if

the spoon came out when i sent it to him so i was getting the phone and i like opened it to see if the spoon and it was like a girl from the night before. And I spent so much time with her. My dad had been in town. So it was like what age was this? Twenty one or twenty two. So non-comedy. But it was non-comedy. But it was also when I had first found out I was allergic to condoms.

So that was the thing that pissed me off. I'm like, dude, I'm raw dogging with you and your fucking other girls. Like, that's so bad. And so I stayed with him for a little longer but i made him like call her and say he had a girl like i was just like dude you can't i wasn't mad at her you know i was just like what the hell is this i got cheated on again by my ex boyfriend i had like a thing where my ex-boyfriend was dating a new girl who like attacked me on instagram what'd she say she was like nobody wants your damaged stupid raped like like that

where i was like oh my god i was like i had to get her fired she like worked at a it was just like so crazy it was so like out of nowhere it was this guy i had broken up with and wanted to break up with for so long that was like i was not i still had like a friendship connection with him but i was not like trying to be his girlfriend girlfriend or anything. She's like, Jesus. And I didn't even know he had a girl. Like this popped out of nowhere. Like he didn't tell me he had a girlfriend. Like he was keeping her a secret.

But anyway, that doesn't matter. It was an upsetting moment, but don't care now. I see that girl sometimes and have no ill will. But I don't want to hang out, but no ill will. I'm like, you're not safe, but enjoy your life. And here, do you want some pretzels? She came up to me once and was like, oh, my God, you're not going to believe it. He cheated on me, too.

So I got payback. And I was like, cheated on you, too? I was like, did he cheat on me? How did they say it? How you get them is how you lose them. If you acquire a man in a cheating situation, you're going to lose him to a cheating situation. They always say that.

So she was going to lose him anyway. She acquired him cheating on you, so he's going to cheat on you. But how funny that I had no clue, and I also did not care. I was like, that would have been so helpful, that knowledge. It would make it easier and faster.

I hate that she wanted to ally herself with you after the fact. Because she wants my clout. Yeah, suck it. Which is why she was attacking me to begin with. It's pronounced clit. No, mine's out, so it's called a clout. It's here. You can't see it.

Look, guys. Look at my clit. My side clit. Oh, my God. we're a good team that's my perfect notice i won't give you an open palm you won't do anything that's like what i want you're such an annoying kesha comes in she's like high five that's not true i don't like hugging anyone and you know that everyone knows that about me but sometimes I'll be like okay I have embraced you I've stroked

your head I've gone to every taping of your special I've caressed you yeah I like to be held I don't like to be hugged Esther do you think you are so annoying imagine being another person that's not you

meeting you I like to be held and not hugged fuck you what are you talking about but doesn't make sense this reminds you the time i tried to convince dave that there's a difference between a present and a gift oh my god and i like stuck please give us give us the. So I said that a present is a surprise, like a random surprise. And a gift is like for a holiday that was planned. And like I just completely like he still makes fun of me for this.

But I was so serious and like totally like sold my story. Well, you know what your present is that you're very annoying as soon do you think you'd be an easy person to cheat on since annie says she's an easy person are you kidding me no she's got trackers on every boyfriend she's ever had no i like she knows they're banging the old ones are banging she knows what grocery stores are going to i mean i it that's hard to say though because it's like dave does go out to like 5 a.m this year do you have a ring camera strap oh my god what if when he says i'm going to poker he means like i'm going to poke her he's just been telling me he was being very open you're in an open relationship you didn't realize um no i have tracking on everybody in my life it's just like i'm just and she doesn't you i never gave it to

you i know what if you were like now i got it yeah i i've always been a tracking type i can't do it i can't be tracked it's very upsetting to me yeah you you're oh it's really really repel tracking i really hate it being tracked or tracking being tracked i couldn't i don't want to track you don't like any kind of um like i control no like you it's hard to it's hard to track you down and like i feel like if i said i feel like you want to hang out with me but if I said hey do you want to hang out today at three you'd be like really stressed out and like wouldn't want to well because it would be it would be it would be 245 when you ask me it would be 245 and it

would be like I would be telling you like well I'm hopping in the shower right now and you'd be like can you meet up in two minutes can I shower and then you'd be like why do you need to shower and i'm like oh my god well played no i try i rush to get to you on time i try to get to you on time but it can't be it's like the time has to have been planned and enough for me to schedule my time through the day because i have time management challenge i have time management that's something i have just started focusing on it's for me it's not time management it's um it's we're trying to figure out if it's ocd or if it's something else but um i don't have a rigid um feeling about time but there's something that i do that my therapist is still trying to like help me figure out is i cannot be there a minute early it drives me crazy i have to play this game where i i do like i take my last steps in the stairs to come into this room right at four not

i'm terrified of being early why and she was like well it has a lot to do with being forced as an athlete it's like i don't want to be at that pool a minute earlier than i have to i don't want to be in a place and work a minute harder than i have to i don't want time was taken from you so it's like the part that's yours is going to every second is going to that makes sense i was like that with my like jobs you know with johnny rockets equinox press juicery i would say you worked at equinox hell yeah i worked at la fitness really you were way fancier than us i know i only worked there so obviously because i wanted to work out there and i knew that i could never afford how many times did you work out not a lot because

you're at work you don't want to be there late. You don't want to stay. Yeah. Everyone was so hot. Did you bring the little towels? No, I didn't bring. I wasn't like the towel girl. I worked the front desk. How was that for you? I feel like it was fine. I feel like you could be good at customer service.

Yeah. If people were watching you, there was like a camera on you. I was like, I never hated any of those jobs. I guess we move towards the end. But like if you're on a break i understand you i sit you sit in the car until the very last but i'm surprised that you apply that to here is like trauma it's everything like it's basically um it's twofold i come from a country where there isn't a whole lot of rigidity around time or like the pressures of being like super punctual outside

of like school is what i'm saying like i'm always i show up to school on time and things like that but if i have a choice it's one of those things that i don't prioritize and i don't get stressed out as well if people are late um i get stressed out when people are early like it esther i cannot ask george there's nothing that pisses me off more than when we have a Tiger Belly episode and someone shows up 15 minutes early. Yeah, take a gulp, Esther. I feel, I start sweating. I get stressed out.

It is such a mental inconvenience for me. And I'm trying to, like, get over this hurdle of why do I have a panic attack when people show up early? Because, you know what? You're Asian, right? So you have Asian mother attack when people show up early? Because you know what? You're Asian, right? So you have Asian mother in you too, right? So you feel like you should be here like taking, this is my guess. Yeah.

You should be taking care of your guests and stuff. So when they come early, it's like your job starts early. Yeah. Even though it doesn't have to. They can wait. Is that true though? I think that's part of it.

My job starts early. It's like 15 more minutes than I have to do. And it's not to say that I don't like doing the podcast. It's just, but it's like 15 more minutes than i have to do then and it's not to say that i don't like doing the podcast it's just but it's still work is work yeah you know and when i could be picking my boogers upstairs and just waiting those 15 minutes save it for the show you know and pick them on the camera save it for the only thing yeah but i know that everyone has their own idea of time and i know like i have people in my life who are so like punctual and like we just don't like carry on with time in the same way but my therapist said something interesting she's like no one is right

like the punctual one isn't right the early one isn't right the late one isn't right it's really around your um idea of time so it's like you either learn to negotiate with people and tell them look i hate showing up early it brings me anxiety you talk to the person who hates being late and you come up with a compromise but i'm not compromised sometimes i'm early and sometimes i'm really late you never know what you're gonna get with this guy i disagree that there is a right answer because the reason that i get freaked out if i'm late is then other people are waiting for you. And that's like rude. And also I think too because like in acting like you can't be late because then you'll like cost the production money.

So to me like that's just how I view things. I mean that's not to say that I'm never late to anything. But the rude, the feeling of being, having people wait is rude. It's the same feeling I get when people arrive early. So it's either cultural or something that stems from something. So she's more saying that the idea of time and the rigidity around it is really all just bullshit. And it's an anxiety thing too, I think. It's like whichever way.

Yeah. So my anxiety is the opposite of her anxiety, like regarding like time and stuff. I'll tell you the reason it's so annoying to be stuck in traffic on the way is because because i live far away now it's like you're you have the anxiety of lateness for the entire trip yeah and it's just getting later and you're like how did it get worse like you can't move i do not like being on uh early either why and i'm trying it's boring it's uh it's, it's just not. I like to, I like coming in with energy to things. Like I just came from another thing, you know?

But. But also, I'm not a dick. Like I would never show up to some place like an hour late or 30 minutes late. Or, you know, like I have like maybe a five, six minute window if I am late. But, but that's it. Like I'm not an asshole. Like I know that some people are like two hours late to something like on set.

And you're like, where the fuck were you? One of my professors in college said that being late is an underlying issue with authority where you're like, time is not gonna tell me what to do. I think you have that. I have that. You have that too? No, you think I have it with you

because you do try to be an authority figure. It's the most crazy thing. I can't believe it. You're like a dictator. I'm like, who is this fucking king of Hollywood is telling me I have to be somewhere right now? Sometimes you'll ask me places where I'm like, it physically is impossible. And then I want to please you. And make it work.

So then I'm feeling guilty because I want to please you. And then i like and so then i'm feeling guilty because i want to please you and then i'm just like i'm gonna fucking kill her i'm driving i'm gonna fucking kill this bitch i was thinking something when i was going in your bathroom and i was seeing all of the bobby and kalilah paintings and all of the like couple fan art yeah is it fan art fan art yeah i was thinking you guys kind of can't break up. No, we can't. Also, I feel really bad. There's too much art. You know, though, but here's the thing.

It depends what kind of girl he gets with after me. She'd have to be super understanding, very adult-like, and just super chill. Because I remember when he, you know, he used to date Sarah, who's a comic. You guys know her. She's really funny. She's so funny. And when I would see these framed photos of the both of them, like being funny together,

my urge was never to throw it away. Cause like I actually genuinely think she's funny. So we still have all those photos. So I think whoever, if we ever break up, he has to get with someone similar to me in that sense, where it's like, I cannot compete with that past of his and just accept it and live with it what if it was jules oh stop what if he would be out and you're so gross he doesn't like you it's your cousin that's my knees she's my baby knees wow

you got full chomo what's chomo um child molester our perpetrators we become the perpetrator we gave them cute names oh it's my chomo does anyone have a spoon oh my gosh why are your spoons so long oh they're asian spoons what do you mean they use them as chopsticks too no they don't flip them over yeah flip them over no you don't not do that i actually don't know why they're that long she misses her dog you could that's because you only have baby spoons in your house esther oh yeah that's true we use we don't and also we don't use metal honestly look how big that spoon is in her hand what do you use wood we use bamboo i feel so bad i'm talking about dave so much but he can't stand the feeling of metal in his mouth oh i get that my sister cannot stand that when

the spoon clangs on my teeth by accident it drives her crazy once you get used to non-metal it's pretty good i just i'm finally seeing where you guys are aligned. You guys are made for each other. It's really great. I wish you would have known it a few years sooner than I did. Annie, so you were a tennis girl. You were a cowgirl. You went through different Madonna phases during the pandemic. What is up with you learning how to play the recorder and why the recorder?

I went to summer school class for recorder. I play the recorder. You play the recorder? why the recorder i went to summer school class for recorder i play the recorder you play the recorder yeah what are you what's going on are we starting a band i would love to start a recording what's going on here well i have to learn it i just got it and it just sits in my drawer what made you bad for you i'm only like the only thing i can play are tambourines that's so tambourine and recorder band what our live show is getting so good right now by the way what made you get a recorder i was like i need to figure out i want to teach myself things i want to learn things and i was like i want to learn an instrument obviously the recorder is easy because they make second graders learn it so i ordered a recorder and i have just blown into going like

this and randy like like howls with it and so I never, because it's so cute I've never actually felt pressure to learn. I bet there's YouTube tutorials. Yeah, I think I could learn very easily. I've never even taken that second step. I just undid the box. I can play that song. I want to learn

I saw that in Ice Capades once my dad took me to Ice Capades I saw what's Ice Capades? it's like it's like ice skating ice skating show

yeah oh that's like Disney on Ice yeah it was like Disney on Ice yeah it was really cool and they did like and then you Oh, that's like Disney on Ice. Yeah, it was like Disney on Ice. Yeah, it was really cool. And they did like, and you know how it's like,

I was sitting at a bar or something. So it was like, they brought a bar out with seats and then there was like, this like ice skater, like she like got up on the seat and was like spinning and then like, it was great.

And then he also took me to see David Copperfield because he would get the boys always wanted my brothers always wanted to go see sports and my dad worked at the University of Pennsylvania in the finance department so the banks would would give they would have three seats that they just owned for the season and they would give like those to different people in different departments so my dad would get them and he would only be able to take my brothers and I didn't really like want to see the sports i just wanted the funnel cake but so then he would take me to like make up for it he would take me to like

see magic and shit i love nachos at a ball game the best is peanuts at dodger stadium and you just throw all the shells on the floor peanuts with abandoned where you can just throw everything on the ground. Five bags per nine innings. It really is fun because there's the activity of doing it. You feel like you're doing the exercise to burn off the... Wait, I wonder if anyone out there listening knows of this restaurant, but there was this restaurant like out way in the suburbs of Chicago, like way further out from where I

lived. And it was a restaurant where you'd go there and the floors would be covered in peanut shells. And every table had like a bowl of peanuts. And that was just the vibe there. You just got to eat peanuts and throw the shell on the fucking floor of the restaurant. It was so fun.

Who knows this place out there? Chicagoland. Dodger Stadium also allows that. Also, you know who I met the other day at the Dodger game, George? Do you know Roger the Peanut Man? Roger a Dodger? Roger a Dodger. He's a peanut man.

I made Jules take a picture with him because I was too shy. Oh my God, was this short? Now he's probably got to be like close to 80, but he still sells peanuts and like he still throws them. He used to do like tricks when he would throw peanuts at people. Like's been doing it since he was younger roger owens there yeah he's only in his late 70s he's been slinging peanuts since he was 15 years old he's my happiness goal when you see this man everything about him is joy he loves what he does he's such i i don't know like he just exudes so much joy and i'm i always think to

myself like if i ever want to get to a place of enlightenment i think about roger the peanut man yeah i think does he sell them or they're free no he sells them you have to pay for peanuts that's what a job is you have i'm just trying to figure out what's so fun about it he like okay so this is what i would guess he found a thing that he likes to do okay which is like peanuts throw them out but he throws them a certain way yeah yeah it's probably fun everyone's looking he's doing his little entertainment that's like a performance but he found a need people want the fucking peanuts okay so he go he gets to go to this place and have and give this service to people that they want and he does it with his own flair and he can be

in the moment of those it's the same steps every time but it's different people like that's fun and he tells people he's like I used to be able to throw it this way because he's older now so he can't like he doesn't have his fancy moves but I don't know like I'm just really I really adore Roger the peanut man

I want to meet him we We should have him on. First guest. Can anyone go to the Dodgers stadium and sell a product? Or is this like... Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What do you have in mind? Yeah, you can maybe try during the seventh inning stretch.

Just do a side hustle. What would you sell? I mean, the only thing I have to sell is my clothing line. And your body. No, that's your body. Hey, let's do a question, guys, from our fans. And reminder to the fans, you can submit these on Anchor. There's a link in all of our audio uploads.

Do you know what I like about our podcast? That when we answer questions, we just make more questions. when we answer questions we just make more questions my question is do you guys get the poop sweats like when you have to poop really bad that you start sweating or do you get the meat sweats like when you eat a lot of meat and you start sweating meat sweats all the way i know those meat sweats in In fact, if I eat meat at night, I sweat the whole night. I get meat sweats in my sleep. I sweat so much and just randomly eat meat that I have no clue if it's coming from the meat. And you randomly poop? And I do. There's a lot of random poops. I don't even know it's there until the underwear comes off. How long approximately would you say you spend on on the toilet when you poo are you a quick pusher

quick wash you're out or you like to um um chill and read a book i'm quick you either know or you know or you know right it's like it's either happening or it's not what i'm not gonna try the push shit is never a good shit i feel like men take so long that's a really weird it's such a thing that every guy i know does do you think it's their balls get in the way like clogs their ass i don't know what it is i think it's some type of like stuck in a freudian stage thing where it's like a the anal stage where they like their ass cheeks spread but they can't really say it out loud. So they just use the toilet as an excuse to like open up their asshole. That's the greatest theory I've ever heard. Because I just think that's like the only place

they can hear us, they don't hear us talking. But unfortunately for me, I have an open door, bathroom door policy in my home. So if you're shutting the doors open and I am talking to you it's a non-stop talking i definitely don't like when a man is in the bathroom too long i'm like let's go buddy yeah we got shit to do oh my god bobby sits there and i can hear the bidet just squirting like shooting high pressure water into his ass for 30 minutes and he's

masturbating he probably is getting the anal probe of it while he's i just can't imagine how he's plunking like it's probably so raw at this point why don't we have them tell us what are you guys doing are you masturbating are you avoiding us or does is your body just in a shape where it takes a long time for the shit to come out let us know in the comments don't be crude be just medical about it be medical all right next question my question is if each of you could describe all three of you with one word what would it be slugs covered it pretty well okay i have one word for both i think it's one word that covers all three of us oh all three of us oh that's what i thought i have a word for Annie. I would call you enigmatic. And I would call you precious because you're my precious little baby.

Oh, don't give her that. That's what she wants. And you're enigmatic like Kim Jong-un. What is enigmatic? Oh, my God. That can't be that good. Enigmatic. Enigmatic. Like, it's like George Palupta.

Difficult to interpret. Mysterious. Well, if you learn my language, maybe, finally. I learned your language. Similar to the word puzzling. But I feel like enigmatic is just more than mysterious. It's something, it's like a dynamic person where you're kind of like, you're never bored. I can never be bored around you, Annie.

I, Esther's gotten there before. Esther, there was one episode of my podcast where esther's head kept getting further and further away we were zooming and our head was going down the corner why she was just like i just talked the entire time and she was just i don't know i don't think there's one word what is it unique unique all of us didn't weren't like the other people around us growing up yeah that is true my mom used to always say i was unique and it was i didn't, weren't like the other people around us growing up. Yeah. That is true. My mom used to always say I was unique and it was, I didn't understand what she was talking about. I almost don't feel like unique is too nice.

I feel like it's like different. Unusual. Off. Unusual. Off. I like these. Off kilter. But I like how all of us are.

I think we all like stand in our own light. Is it a light or a darkness? You know what I mean? But for real, look at Esther. Like she's just like with us, present, happy. Look at her. No other person would sit in that chair like that. You guys, this has been a spectacular prom episode.

I'm so happy that our sweet little Annie has finally done the whole prom thing. I'm so excited. I like to put my outfit to look like I already lost my virginity. We can do that. You want scissors on the floor? Only fans, guys. But thank you guys for watching.

We love you guys. Click, comment, subscribe, share. Let us know in the thing, women, what do you think guys are doing in the bathroom when they're pooping for so long? And guys, tell us the truth. Keep it PGg-13 and we'll see you guys next week thanks guys