Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Annie's Mile High Guy & Esther the Dominatrix

Episode Date: February 8, 2022

Thank you to our Sponsors:   BetterHelp - Get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at https://betterhelp.com/trashtuesday Nutrafol - Go to https://nutrafol.com and enter promo code TRASH to save $15 off your first month’s subscription + free shipping   Athletic Greens - Go to https://athleticgreens.com/tuesday to get a free 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase  Girlfriend Collective - Get $25 off your purchase of $100 or more when you go to https://girlfriend.com/tuesday Trash Tuesday Merch: http://slugfam.com Trash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Subscribe to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/HitOurButtons Official Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/trashtuesdayclips Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491 Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: George Kimmel & Pete Forthun Editor: Gabby Galon --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/trashtuesday/message

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come see me again. I'm going to be on February 11th through 12th. I will be in British Columbia. You can see me the next weekend in Las Vegas. You can also see me in Washington, D.C. after that. And then in March, I'll be in Richmond, Virginia, San Francisco, Florida. A bunch of dates coming up. Just please look at Annie Letterman dot com slash shows. There should be ones almost every weekend. I'm coming to see you guys. I can't wait.

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With Anchor. Everything you need to make a podcast all in one place. Just download the free Anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started. Today is the Valentine's Day episode of Trash Tuesday. And we were told to wear red. And I ordered a dress off Amazon that was red. And it was called Amazon.com. You told me when you were high.

I went to Amazon.com. And I'm done with you, Jeffrey Bezos. It's just like there's no way this looked good in the thing. I swear it did. I'm offended that you offered that to me when I walked in. You're like, Kalilah, do you not want to- Her shoulders don't handle this. Whoa, look at what you came in wearing.

This says not your baby. That's mean. That's mean to say. I borrowed it from Jules. I didn't have anything read. That's really mean to say. I am your baby. I'm your baby.

I'm your baby. I'm your baby. You're being a frigid bitch on Valentine's Day. You know, Valentine's Day has never meant a lot to me in terms of a lover's thing. Hell no. It's always just been a friend's day for me. It's a day for us to really deepen our friendship. So this week, why don't we make Valentine's Day.

Pull your pussy out, bitch. How else are we going to deepen our friendships? Let me see that badge again. Let's make Valentine's Day about the girls this year. Oh my God, you're being so cute. Esther got her makeup done. She can't stop glowing. So I, no one has commented on my red and first, my, this is kind of my first date look. If I was. Was your first date in 1920? How old are these guys? Esther,

I just want to know if you actually know how to play Scrabble. How dare you? And are you good at it? I am terrible at it, but I obviously know how to play. I was in Scrabble Club in junior high. Oh, my God. A lot of them were getting banged out. She was in Scrabble Club. Wait, that's true.

The years do line up. But you're still bad at it. I'm terrible. You're actively getting TMJ. No, it's actually not fun to play it at home because Dave is so much better at it than me that it's like I have to. That's why I pay Carlos. It's not the person with the most words. It's the person with the most placements strategy.

Yeah. That's what's annoying is it's all about like being sneaky with a double triple word scores like i have i'm bad at strategy i'm good at it but i thought i were very good at strategy actually that's kind of your strong suit i'm triggered because you know i can't read or spell i have no clue what these things say what do these squares say double word score triple letter score so i thought i would just if this were my valentine's day date i would wear a scrabble and would you tell him and would you tell him to put his tiles on your body wherever you like but we know it'll be on her back not to quote the great rick glassman

but we'd all be shocked if anyone fucked you face forward oh my god that was so funny i feel like this is the appropriate outfit for a go-go queen wow unsuspecting yeah seemingly you know innocent semen and seemingly innocent i want to hear about this what's going on here i you know i searched the mall far and wide i I said, I'll come up with the greatest. I always know when it's the outfit. You are single-handedly keeping malls in business across America. I'm a mall bitch, okay? My boyfriend calls me the cutest girl of the mall. That's our thing.

I love it. Every comedy club I've done in the past 27 years has been in a mall. It's so fun. The Edmonton one. Oh boy, was that crazy. Now I was pissed to go to Edmonton. I was like, well, you FaceTimed me and I was really upset because I was like, what themed room did they put you in, Annie? I know. And I was like, it's funny, you know, this that I've been disrespected. So the Edmonton club is in, it's in this huge mall. It's like the mall of america but it's the canadian version what so they have a they have a wave pool they have like there's people in swimsuits at the mall in the dead of the winter like fake way i was like speaking of fake waves nobody's wearing their

masks but um they have like bobby was telling me like and it's so funny because i didn't even know there's like this whole pond and there's some attraction in the middle of the pond. And you can ride those little like swan things with pedal things over to it. In the mall? In the mall. Have you been here? With Bobby. But I didn't know what was the attraction until I talked to Bobby and you. And Bobby said that it's seals that you can hear screaming for,

screeching for their lives at night. In the dead of the night. Because you're hanging out at the mall at night when it's closed. Because the hotel is in the mall. that that's where we stay stalkers they have like sad like sea mammals in there and they're just trapped imagine being a seal and being like i live in the edmonton mall imagine not being a seal that lives in a mall esther yeah i was gonna say i pretty much know what that's like but they have themed rooms in that hotel i walk in i'm mad at my agent i walk in

there's a fucking hot tub in the middle of my and i go and i was mad at him literally for sending me somewhere during winter i was like it's snowing but i didn't know that my whole life was going to be inside a mall for the whole weekend so there's this giant jacuzzi and i'm like fuck this is fucking awesome and then i go downstairs and i realize that it's i see all these posters for like themed rooms and i realized i got like the shittiest room you can get at the fantasy no way they have like they have a um a trucker room which I was really the that was the one I wanted um they have a roman room with like pillars and the bed's like a circle in the middle of the room they have literally going to call my agent today

did not get one i did not get a themed room so then i asked the guy and what was one of the other ones was um they have like a hollywood one room and so i go i go can i i was like can i get a themed room and he's like i'll check on it and he goes no they only had the check truck room and it was 450 bucks and i was like and and? Didn't get it for me. I was like, okay. But then I realized with the hot tub, let's just say my eyes are more into a hot tub than my body because it takes literally seven hours to fill the tub up. Okay.

I started the tub. I went down to Starbucks. I saw the seals. Wait, you leave running water in the room? You can. It's room? You can. It's giant. You can. I would say you have to.

You'll die of boredom if you stay in the room. So then you fill the tub up. I come back with my Starbucks. I'd gone ice skating. Statistically, there have been more deaths of boredom at the Edmonton Hotel than drownings. So Annie knows what she's talking about. I could have died from drowning because i was so bored in the hot tub too the minute i got in it after all that work i was like

it's really hot i don't really want to be in here i was in there for two minutes and then i was like it's wet it's hot you sound like an alien that you didn't know what the hot tub would be like don't you forget what it there's okay first of all bitch there's no way you don't hop into a hot tub and go ew get me out immediately you're that but how but what but who do you have working you have carlos working tirelessly i'm a bath technician oh you're right i have questions for you then correct because this is my gripe with tubs in general yeah it's like actually you're asian it's tripe because you put that in your food okay good i love tripe come on it'spe? Come on. It's really hard to eat. It's the chewy like tendons.

It's the entrails. Oh, wow. Entrails. You're not into entrails? They really got to name it something better. They need better press. Entrails? Yeah, entrails.

But that's only in English. Tripa sounds good. That does sound good. Yeah. What is an entrail? It's like the intestines or the inside. It looks like it's like your body's netting. It's like so weird.

It's like so. Yeah. And you eat it. You eat it. I choose to have a taste here and there. Yeah. It's pretty good. It's hard, though, for me.

I'm not too. My theory is that if you kill an animal, you better fucking eat every last inch of it. But OK. You're correct. That's beyond my gripe with a bathtub is this first it's and i consider myself to be a mother of dragons i can take high high high heat like my showers are like scalding bobby thinks i'm insane yeah so i like i like to burn my skin same how long i think it's a woman thing too how long are your showers my showers are it depends

how cold it is outside i I take three showers a day. I know it's not good for the environment, but like there's something about being doused in hot water that just really calms me. Were you a water birth? I should have been. But my parents sort of like threw me in the water when I was two and I just guess learned to swim that way.

But my thing is initially it's really hot and I acknowledge the heat but then within three minutes it's too cold for me and then now i've just wasted a shit ton of water and i'm sitting how like what do you do to stay warm in there do you just keep refilling a bath oh my god of course i refill so you just constantly keep the hot water running yes i i love to get in you the best is when you get in and it's like halfway full and it's really warm but it's not hot yet and you haven't seen the oil yet come spread and i will put some bath oil in i i'll if i'm not washing my hair in the bath water i'll put oil with the dish soap yes I do wash my hair

with dish soap palm olive my baths are she has you guys understand she has to use what they put on on ducks that have been in a grease and an oil spill and an oil spill she literally has to like that's who they advertise like the SPCA and FEMA have to come together to figure out what the best product is for me Esther esther you are an oily baby duck yes so wait oh my god that's what you are you guys it's dawn that's the dish listen bath technician i this is my thing i do this is a trash tank i could be this you guys could license me out as a bath technician i'll come over and give you both baths. We know you'll give us a bath, Esther. Why is everything she pitches, there's tits in her face?

She sees someone's vagina in every pitch. Is there a strip club? Are we taking the bath in a strip club too? Is there 70s music while you're scrubbing us down? I do want to hear your 70s playlist. So I am a bath technician. So the best thing, halfway, it's very warm. It's not hot yet. You get in and you get a little warm and then you crank up that scalding hot water and you fucking cook yourself. This is probably why I had a miscarriage. It came out boiled. It's not why.

I mean, glad you could laugh about it today. And then, you know. It's not why. I mean, glad you could laugh about it today. And then, you know. That's not why. You're like, I know why. And then, you know, sometimes famously my dad and I always talk about this because when I was younger, my dad would be like, you're making it too hot. I know what you're doing in there. You're running cold water to cool it down because you made it too hot. So sometimes you have to add cold water oh every time every time i'm like okay my skin has changed but then

there's too much of a lag for the right temperature in a shower it's immediate it's like the lag is the fun of it so you just sit there and hot this is like what you did instead of watching tv as a kid this is why she's never watched tv i cannot tell you how much water i wasted in that giant jacuzzi i was it was two minutes i was doing a meditation i thought i was gonna be able to do my whole hypnosis i ended up sitting up on the mirror by the way they have mirrors everywhere it's a total fuck palace. A fuck palace? It is. I mean, it's like where you're supposed to get banged out. And it was you and that guy, Josh? It was just me. Josh Potter. No one came with me.

I was alone. Was he fucking the bathtub? It was me and the jets. The jets? I did lose my virginity to a hot tub, so it felt good coming back. Wait, were you just acting in solidarity with the trapped seals in the mall? I wanted to... I was like,

Randy, are you here? I feel so guilty about this. Should we, like, try to save the dolphins at the mall? Also, is Josh really blind? He's going blind, yes. I'm trying to get him past to the comedy store before he goes blind, but if he does go blind, we're just gonna pretend we put his name on the wall.

Everyone's already decided. We're going to be like, your name's on the wall. Just him performing in a garage. We're like, oh, look, you're in the main room. What does he have that's making him go blind? He has, I think, detached retinas. He's your opener. He's going to look at me a lot.

Listening and looking at me. He's going blind and deaf. Oh, it's like a degenerative thing, like over time. Yeah time yeah well his one eye went uh we should have him on honestly he would be so good on this but he his one eye his good eye is the eye that went when he was young he was i think he was in like seventh grade it might i might not be getting the age right he might have been 17 but there was a seven involved i think and he was just in class and all of a sudden that was his good eye he he said it was like a curtain got pulled over oh shit and they just never saw out of that eye again fuck and then so he's been since he was in high school he's been using his not that good and he plays video games all the time and stuff too but he has like all this anxiety all the time

because think about like because I'm always like Josh you're gonna be fine he's like but imagine just one day I'm just randomly fully disabled. That's really scary. And like needs to count. Yeah, I know. But he's doing good. He got health insurance. I love Josh.

Josh Potter, guys. Josh Potter show. He's funny. He's so funny. There's some tragic stories involved, but he's very funny. Wow. He's the best. He was saying he pitched himself for if you ever can't come in that he would show up in

Sleepover by Esther. Oh, that's cute. But we got to get the little shorties back okay i'll make sure it's something real good you know um speaking of really really hot baths they're in the middle i don't know if this already exists or if they're in the middle of a study to make this exist but once a month a man can dip his balls in what's called a testicle hot bath i'm sorry i thought we're talking about periods to immobilize his sperm as a form of birth control and where is this i think they've done the studies in europe or they're already doing this but this is going to be an option for men in the future where it's like it it temporarily immobilizes the sperm so

you put your it's called a testicle bath and you put you dip your balls it's a tea bag it really is a tea bag yeah and it's seep it yeah and i think that's far less destructive than you know what we have to go through for decades of birth control if it's an asian guy's green tea it sounds to me like a business idea we we have a place that we you can come do that give a take a testicle bath we will sell you we will sell you our bath water to dip your testicles in to then fuck the girl that actually will fuck you so you don't get her pregnant and don't get her pregnant yeah well yeah that's a thing like if you're trying to make babies you're a guy is not supposed to go in like a hot tub or take hot baths because I think it kills them off, right?

I think that is the science behind it. Let me see. I wonder if that's the secret from the Playboy Mansion, like the grotto. All the guys just went in the hot tub. Look at this. So it's Dyson that makes it? Dyson can't stop.

Here's the layout for it. Dyson can't stop. You dip your balls into this device. I just don't think that men would even risk the idea of their sperm. It's such an ego thing. My sperm needs to move constantly. Wait, Carlos, would you do it? I'm so down.

Really? Yeah. Of course you would. You're a modern, innovative man. You're just always kind of like raw-dogging these girls, almost getting them pregnant. Kind of. Condoms are for children. you're just always kind of like raw dog these girls almost getting them pregnant kind of condoms are for children

he's the go-go king he's the go-go king is that what you guys do on the road I watch him fuck women I watch him have condomless sex with a woman condomless sex bareback king I've never heard anyone refer to sex have condomless sex with a woman condomless sex

bear backing anyone refer to sex as condomless it's called bear backing yes sir oh boy it's called fun you know what would be a good word on a scrabble board is condomless that would be a that would be a winning word condom isn't there a hyphen in the middle of condom unless i don't know about i don't fuck with hyphens. That's beyond my education level. Well, she's the health expert, but who is our grammar expert? Dave. Dave.

Let's just say it ain't me. Yeah, don't say. Well, gee, God gosh. But at least you know how to pronounce things. That's where I lack. You know how to pronounce. It's just maybe not in the right part yeah you pronounce the words we don't even acknowledge you guys mental health is pretty much the only thing that matters to me this year

if you don't have your mental health in check, goodbye. Specifically to you both. And I'll say this. If I were single and you were a guy and you were trying to shoot your shot with me, if you're not already seeing a therapist. They don't care if you're single. They don't care if you're single. They'll shoot their shot.

Single or not single. If you choose to shoot your shot with me and you're not seeing a therapist, you are an immediate no for me. Yes, or a therapist. I need to see receipts that you are actually actively working for me yes or other i need to see receipts that you are actually actively working on your mental health yeah because it's not my job to fix it for you correct

check out betterhelp.com slash trash tuesday better help will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist connect in a safe and private online environment it's so convenient and you can start communicating in under 48 hours from right now. You can send a message to your counselor anytime. They have licensed professional counselors who are specialized in depression, anger, family conflicts, self-esteem for someone like me. I need to go to a therapist because I'm about to rage out on Carlos for coughing during our... Well, you also found out something really traumatic during this episode.

I'm definitely going to need to go. So... I'm going to be going... BetterHelp, I'm coming to something really traumatic during this episode. I'm definitely going to need to go. I'm going to be going. BetterHelp, I'm coming to you a couple times this week. I have some things in my notes, in my journal I'm ready to share with you. Let's just say the discount code won't work for Annie anymore. Anything you share is confidential, and we want you to start living a happier life today. As a listener, you'll get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday. Join over 1 million people have taken charge of their mental health. Again, that's betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday. When you had to cut your hair for the first season of

Dollface and you were miserable and you're like, how do I get- We all were miserable. I really tried to help and it was- You know what? You were the best friend during that time because you didn't tell me I looked good. You didn't tell me I look bad. You were like, let's make a joke out of this. Yes. I was like, well, write a joke. It'll be fine. It really is the truth of being a comedian.

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You guys can grow thicker, healthier hair and support our show by going to Nutraful.com slash trash to save $15 off your first month subscription. This is their best offer anywhere and it is only available to US customers for a limited time. Plus free shipping on every order. Get $15 off at Nutrafol.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com slash trash. So when I was at the mall, I was like, I'm going to find like the right look. And then I finally went to Superdry and I was like, I think it's got to be like, I'm a high school girlfriend. And then I'm like, I'm your girlfriend. But then I realized that's

like, it's like, why am I dressing like a teenager? That's kind of gross. Okay, let's talk about this. Because this comes up for me a lot. As a child looking person? Yes. Because I know I brought this up like a couple weeks ago, like my sexy look that would fit me best would not be like a, like I feel like either of you could be like sexy dominatrix. Like for me, I feel like sexy school girl is like all I have in my kit. No, Esther, it's really, you just have made a choice.

No. No, I honestly think like really, you just have made a choice. No. No, I honestly think like, but I think the internet would break. Like if you wore like those squeaky leather pants I have, like if you were in that outfit, would it not be like insane? I have an idea. We're going to prove your theory wrong.

You're going to come in as a dom. We're going to come in as little, like innocent school girls and see if it works. Again, I got to do another outfit. But no, really go for the look that she thinks only she looks good in. Oh, I accidentally talked them into dressing as sexy school girls.

She's like, you can come over and borrow some of my clothes. I guess I am. I'll finger them on you. I mean, I'll help you get them on. I think Annie's right. Annie's right. I think you could absolutely,

I think it's in your head that you can't pull it off. Wait, but this is a weird thing that I, because why is it? Sexy schoolgirl, white panties. Let's just say the panties started out white. No.

They've never ended white. I told you guys this. I hooked up with a guy years ago who told me – I'm not going to say whoever, but who told me that I should wear white panties because it's like more in the line with the fantasy it's virginal yeah um I get that but just a convenient the inconvenience of having a starkly white panty at the end of the day looking down then it's gonna be something by the end of the day but my point is why Kalilah someone help me why i think it's just that why do they like that why are why why is a school girl like is it okay that that's hot because it's literally like you said it's like teens a fantasy is a fantasy but even like

french made it's like so you want me to look like i'm working for you like but oh i so should we um resist or push back on the idea that a fantasy you leave the fantasies as fantasies should we judge those fantasies like for instance fantasy shame let's do a segment called fantasy shame yeah let's fantasy shame because like for instance like i'm into you know rape role play right but's a fantasy. I really don't want to be raped in real life. I know. I was like, is it a fantasy when it's happened to you so many times? You're right. It's reenactment. So is there something? These are the real actors. There's nothing wrong with a guy being attracted to a woman in a schoolgirl outfit because it's not a child. It's a grown woman who wants to be in a school pretty

much having the the conversation about euphoria right it's pretty much we're talking like it's almost the same thing about that show right because i was thinking about it last night did you watch it no well you watch it right yeah well it's so much like and and the teens do not look like teens in this one i feel like they look older they look like yeah 25 which i think they cast on purpose i'm assuming yeah yeah Because there's all these like hardcore teen fucking scenes where it's like, I just know my dad's watching. I'm just like, oh God, my dad loves this show. Can I tell you something? I know every time I watch Euphoria, I think only about your dad. I'm like, he's going to like this scene. There's certain scenes I go, my dad likes this

one. Well, my dad is up late my mom's asleep he's got his little like deaf man headphones on my mom doesn't she can't even hear the humping it's completely anonymous if she happens to stumble down for in her nightgown for a snack she's gonna see my dad just silently watching two teens fucking bang each other but it is weird because it's like it's a weird thing but i don't want there to be anything wrong with it like i think you look hot is that bad like i like this for instance i would never judge a man on his what he what kind of porn he chooses to watch totally because that's just i feel like a different part of the brain but you could be not compatible

with the porn that they watch like i i um hooked up with this guy on an airplane years ago sorry todd um we're gonna tell the stories he fingered me on this airplane i met this guy actually i can't believe i even told the story on here i had just missed an earlier flight and i was coming to get another flight i was on standby it was me and a guy in army fatigues waiting for the one spot left, which I'm like, they're obviously giving it to the military guy. I have no shot, but I'm just waiting there anyway. And they go, all right. It's like they're about to close the doors. And they're like, all right, sir, gentlemen. And I was like, that was me. But they escorted him on. So I'm just like the only one staying there like a dildo. I have no flight. I'm just like, Oh, I guess I'll wait another six hours. And they close, the guy goes

in, they close the door. And then this guy comes running with like two Quiznos bags. And he's like, he's like, wait, that's my plane. And they're like, yeah, but it takes off. And he goes, yeah, but it doesn't take off until like 1205. And like, it's 1205. He's like, but I made it. And they're like, no, no, it takes like he was like didn't know that you had to like get there early and I started laughing because I was like oh my god did you just miss your plane because you were getting Quiznos that's so embarrassing I was

like roasting him and he was in sweatshirts which I have a little bit of a thing for him they're wearing sweatshirts they were gray and he had a one of these piercings which is not a thing I'm usually into but he just looked like he made bad decisions. So I'm like making fun of him. We go, we have to wait for the next plane together. So we're eating. He shares his Quiznos with me. I just can't believe this is going from a story of you hooking up with a hot army guy

to you and the Quiznos guy. Yes. Yes. So I was like, all right, I started to get hot. I was like, this guy's kind of hot. Wait, the Quiznos guy. Yes, yes. So I was like, all right, I started to get hot. I was like, this guy's kind of hot. Wait, the Quiznos guy? The sandwich guy? Quiznos guy was starting to get really hot. The other guy was already on the plane. So we're like talking and it just was fun.

And then we went to go get our seats and he took my ID and he goes, we're together. And he put our things together and I was like, oh, I'm into this. I'm like, oh, I'm starting to get like corny. And we get on the plane and he like smelled good. And he had a

really good body. And he was like, wait, what city were you in? I think I was I think it was Atlanta. I think it was my first headlining weekend when I missed my flight going out and then was playing Candy Crush when I was leaving and then fell asleep with my phone dead from playing Candy Crush and slept through my plane going home to that was was pretty epic so that what was the the moment he got hot was the id he was the id was when he got hot he shared his quiznos with me which was nice too because that was pretty expensive because we had an entire flight he had two of them he did but it was one it was like chips in one bag like it wasn't it was like he just had like he was just caring he might have a drink too but he just had like a sandwich he split a sandwich with me

and then we're on the plane and he was like he's like yeah I'm in a band and I was like I don't care and um but I you know I was like okay and um he was like showing me pictures of his band or whatever and I go what's your band like and he's like it's kind of like Sugar Ray and I was like that's so weird you would say that but I was like he was just like this type of guy or whatever and then he went to go to the bathroom like I noticed he smelled good and then he stood up to go to the bathroom and his shirt lifted up a little bit and I was like oh he has a really good body so he went and then when he came back we just were like making out in the seats yeah and my my drink was like over like

this behind the seat I was in the window seat we were just going at it and then my drink was like hovering over this woman's like excuse me and it. And then my drink was like hovering over this woman's like, excuse me. And she had her laptop. My drink was just hovering over her keyboard. And I mean, we were, everyone was just like a part of this whole experience. There was just this like Israeli kid on the end between us or at the end, not between us. Oh my God, that would have been so embarrassing. I got fingered over a child, but he had this little like mustache, this little boy story fingering over and then i had these jeggings and he fingered me and then um and we were like hooking up and then i remember we got down to the baggage claim and he kept trying to make it and i was like this does not

go past baggage claim this is i think you just wrote my myspace rom-com yeah what were the jeggings and all we stayed friends for a long time we did i like stayed i used to like we would sext for like years and then because he found me i think on facebook or something like he found me after that because i was trying to be like we're done um because i was like about to start dating my boyfriend that i dated at that time so i was like i'm not gonna so then he would be like in between boyfriends guyfriends guy. I would hit him up. But when we started sexting, he started sending me like crazy. He was really into like bondage and tying girls up and ball gags and stuff. And I was like, we need a regular bang before we even talk about this.

Like I was like, I am not. And it never happened because I was like, I'm not compatible with what he. He wants to literally like, like I don't want to get my pussy whipped. I'm not interested in like. No, no, no. Leather things and that happening to me. Getting your pussy punched? No way.

I could do it. Yeah, it's like I've had it. My pussy's been thrown off, okay? It's cauliflower at this point. Cauliflower. Cauliflower. I got caulifloss. But he, yeah, he sent me.

I actually used to read it on stage. He eventually did get mad at me and unfollow me. But it was years that we stayed. What did he, I want to know, what did he smell like that turned you on? It was just pheromone. Was it curve? It was like a pheromone. He definitely was wearing something because he just was, you'll see what he looks like.

But one time he sent me this whole thing where he was like, pretend we're in high school. We're going to, oh, he doesn't look good there. Find the hot pictures of him. Not like fat now. There are pictures that you'll know what I'm talking about. Google it.

Yeah, no, I believe this. You'll know exactly what I'm talking about. No, I can tell from... Wait, so is... Death. Is he dead? Did he die?

Did he die? He could die. I've died. No, I don't think so. Maybe that's just like... For the show, that would have been great. For his life, that would have been very sad.

Have you had a dead lover? No. Have I? I've had a dead lover. Yeah. You fucked them to death? He was my brother. What?

Oh, yeah. Oh, God. This is a twisted tale of flowers in the attic. It's a little bit of dead poet society. You know what? It's Valentine's Day. Will you remind us? Because I don't remember.

This is one of her hits. I had sex with my stepbrother a la Clueless. Hey, Annie, he did die. Is he dead? Yeah, I found a Facebook post about it. What did he die of? I don't know that part, but. Annie, I'm so sorry.

Well, guys, this is a different turn. I fingered him to death. He fingered me to death. Happy Valentine's Day. He's a nice guy. That's sad. He was a nice guy. He seemed to be pretty happy.

Maybe a little troubled. Look, the way you just described him made him sound like a dream. I am actually sad that he's, I was like sad when he got mad at me because I kind of thought I was going to keep him forever even like with Todd I don't have any of those guys still like I used to always kind of have guys. Back burner boys. Yeah they like fuck start you back in between.

Back burner boys. Do all hot girls have that? I've never had that. Rolodex for the oldies. I've always heard people say women they always have the next guy lined up and I'm like I've never. No that's not me. I don't have the next guy lined up. And I'm like, I've never. No, that's not me. I don't have the next guy lined up. I have a guy that I will never date, but I have sexual chemistry with.

So I hit up in between these. Yeah, I wouldn't say lined up because I think that there are about three men in my life who constantly check in every year, usually around Christmas time to see if I'm single or not. Are you serious, bitch? Yeah, this is a kind of- Are you serious? We've heard them pick her calls up. They're like, hello, love of my life.

Sleeping, getting crest out of the eyes. She's like, is my asshole nasty? And they're like, you have the most beautiful asshole ever. I was just dreaming about your asshole, babe. She's like, aren't I disgusting? They're like, no, really, honestly, no one measures up to you. Wait, Annie, I'm so sad.

This is sad. I don't want to look like I'm like a psycho. No, you're not. I also have another dead guy story that I'm going to tell, but I feel like we need to let this one breathe a little. He wrote me, I wonder if he died in like a ball gagging incident. I'm sorry well this is annie's r.i.p my finger my finger he really took you i i love the story you know

from the moment he took your id to you smelling him from the baggage claim to the grave but you guys never had sex right no we never fucked because he started sending me all of this like he sent me like the porn he watched and it was like violent i was like i was molested i don't want this yeah it wasn't like it was just too it also felt like cheesy it was very like red shoe diaries from the 90s it felt like there's a shirtless one oh yeah he looks like he has a hot body that he had all of these like promo pics that were so far had i'm already speaking about him in past tense we should have a funeral we just bury a bunch of peanuts and those that's what you do biscotti no i think we should all find a quiznos oh my god let's bury quiznos for

him let's get a sponsorship from quizno wait let's turn this into us making money somehow no it's so weird isn't it weird that like and i guess it just happens throughout life but i do feel like i'm getting to that age where like there's so many deadies in my life are you kidding me bitch we're in comedy it's about to go down all the old men what did i say the other day all the old men are dying around us or something no i wrote it down esther for some reason elderly men are esther's like best it is She's so good at jokes about old men. No, but I was like, I was just making a joke that like there's something about being a comedian.

Like you, all your heroes are just old men who want to rape you. Well, it is. No, I was thinking about this too. It's like all of my heroes have like great grandkids now. And they're all like, back in my day, like all the like male comics, back in my day, we never, nobody put their penis into a vagina. You're like, why is everyone talking about these things? Like they're 900 years old.

We're just like little young sluts to them all. I know. And then to the younger ones, they're like, who are these old ladies? They're looking at us like, are you guys about to die? I have a surprise for you guys. Is it that my plane lover died? I know that he did. I'm going to lift Annie's mood.

I'm going to lift the mood of the room, and I'm going to certainly lift Annie's mood. But I need you to close your eyes real quick before the- Should we open our mouths? Is it you having a better outfit? We really thought you were going to come in like an angel. I dropped the ball. Okay, not yet,

not yet. This is how I start my day. Athletic greens? Yeah, it's non-negotiable in my house. It's a habit I formed immediately. I love it. Because it actually tastes pretty good. So with one delicious scoop of athletic greens Greens, you're absorbing 75 high-quality vitamins, minerals, whole food source, superfoods, probiotics, and adaptogens to help you start your day right. This special blend of ingredients supports your gut health, your nervous system, your immune system, your energy recovery, focus, and aging, basically all the things. And they come – you have the option, too. Like, I bring them when I travel because they come in those little packets yeah you just throw in your um backpack so i don't leave the house or i don't leave town without my athletic greens they're so good honestly and not to sound like a slob but the thing that i love about athletic greens is i take it in the morning

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Yeah. Why are you trying to match me all the time? But I love Girlfriend Collective and you guys, wide leg jeans, chunky sneakers, everything old is new again, right? And that's what Girlfriend Collective literally means because they turn plastic bottles and other waste that would end up in a landfill into something new to wear. So I work out in my Girlfriend Collective and I'm literally wearing old water bottles. And it's soft and nice and I feel good about myself. I know. I like when I'm wearing literally the bottom of my car. I'm like cute outfits that also match all of the trash on my floor.

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don't ruin your makeup with your hands. Oh, thanks. I'm ready. Yeah. Oh, they look so good on you. You think they look okay? They look great. I already knew they look good on you because I like you mine and you looked amazing in them. The amount of sweat that came out of every or like my armpits when I had to hit Apple pay with Apple. What do you Apple pay? Is that what you say? Yes. I was not feeling good about this purchase. But then when I got it, I was like, oh, perhaps they were.

Don't you feel like a queen in them? Yeah, I do. How did you feel when you got your own celine sunglasses that you spent an exorbitant amount of money on did you feel good initially i felt pressured but then it as soon as i put them on my face it felt like a necessity because you you guys know that i am super conscious about like masking and all of that so these are my eye masks yeah these are my plain do not fuck with me i'm sleeping it covers so much of my face that i love it you taught me that concept of like just cover your eyes like to hide you know if you want to hide your emotions or

whatever you didn't put your makeup on that day these are the perfect glasses for that then why aren't you wearing sunglasses more often than you i've seen you in makeup once this year and i'm not talking about this year i mean the last year they look great here's what's gonna happen though this is what i chase the feeling it felt to buy those because there are no other sunglasses and that is called a drug addiction i'll just never get no i've like bought them and had to return them because i'm like they're not as good i'm i literally it's just the feeling of how good those were. Same. Those are the best ones.

They came in two days, guys. I'll buy bigger ones. Where'd you order them from? Mine are getting scratched up. I'm ready to get another pair. You know what's so funny? Like I do that sometimes. Like if I have a pair of Jordans I really like, I'm like, I should get another pair.

By the time I get that other pair, I'm over the style. There's something about like they have to run their course. Kind of like that guy that fingers you on the plane and then dies live on your podcast live live to tape what a reveal what a valentine's day reveal i had another i had another kid die on me that was really weird that was a lover too he was a potential lover they died they escaped they're almost fucking me i was um house sitting for this weekend so i went to this is when hollywood video and blockbuster and stuff were around i went to a video to get so many i was gonna get the box the all the seasons of the shield that was what i was into the michael

chickless yeah michael chickless which by the way i was so obsessed with michael chickless my entire life because of the commish and then that bobby is obsessed with michael i love him what's he up to we gotta get him on. No, he was just on a movie that I just saw. We should get Michael Chiklis on. It was something. Was he in that? No, he wasn't in that one.

It was another big movie. I was like, oh my God, Michael Chiklis is in this. Also, don't look up because your glasses are so heavy, they will knock you back. It feels like they're worth the money that you spent on them, doesn't it? They are, yeah. Like no other glasses have been like,

I feel like I did it. So I go to Hollywood Video to get this box set. I get the box set. While I'm in there, I have my dog, Punky, was like a puppy, I think. She was in my car. Punky. I know. My little munchkin, my daddy. Another daddy. Say hi to the guy that figured me on the plane. For someone that figured me and someone that ate me out to meet each other finally is so good. Say hi to Kalilah's dad and my grandparents.

And my stepbrother who I. Fucked up. Oh, God. And also this guy from a Hollywood video that I'm. Oh, no. Do you guys know that my dad is older than both Anne Frank and MLK? Of course he is. Of course.

Because I saw posts. I were like, Anne Frank and MLK. Of course he is. Of course. Because I saw posts that were like, Anne Frank and MLK would have been 93 today. And I was like, oh, dear God. You inspired me to look up how old my grandparents would be. And my grandma on this. What a fun sport. I know. This Saturday would be my grandma's 108th birthday.

Wow. Around, yeah. So mine was was 2000 or mine was 1911 my grandfather really so my grandma was born in 1914 i don't know my grandfather might be around we're yeah those are the titanic years those are fun years we're old sperm fun years titanic years yeah it's so good we're not more autistic from all that crusty old i think we have enough autism between the three of us. Well, I mean, when Rick and I do get in the same room, it'll be interesting to see whose fake autism is better.

Wait, Annie, Blockbuster. Hollywood video. I can't stop thinking about Blockbuster, by the way. I know. We do a Blockbuster-themed episode. It was just so fun. It was such a fun time in my childhood. Same, bitch. It was like you would go and just go through all the – It was an event. It was just so fun. It was such a fun time in my childhood. Same, bitch.

It was like you would go and just go through all the... It was an event. It was a night out. Did you ever go through the books? You know how Blockbuster had the giant book where you could look up movies and they'd show you where they were and if they had them? I don't remember that. I was like this.

In the book, I was friends with all the people that worked there. That was the beginning of me talking to strangers. I just remember wanting to buy the candy there so bad. How about the pickle in the bag? And my dad being like, it's cheaper at Walgreens. We have to go to Walgreens. I was never allowed to buy the candy there so bad. How about the pickle in the bag? And my dad being like, it's cheaper at Walgreens. We have to go to Walgreens. Was never allowed to buy candy at Blockbuster. And he's going to create quite a monster.

I like that. My spender. My precious spender. We need to, okay, we need the producers of this show to recreate a Blockbuster experience. Just like how Kalilah wants to be raped again. I want to go to, to be clear, only if you are my lover and Guys, maybe I want to get raped again too. Only if you are my lover and I trust you.

It's just like Todd raping me, it's like so unbelievable. I'm like, Todd, get your noodle in the high neck. To be clear, I... I'm like, Todd, can you make me something? I don't want to be choked. I just want to be very clear that I just compared my childhood trauma of not being able to buy the candy I wanted to your rape.

I just want to be clear that it's what I did. And I am sorry. But sometimes we have different lives. But. And your ex-boyfriend won't let you near his house. And our Islas are literally waiting by their phone for her. So we have different things going on. That's true.

We all, it checks it even though. You have a restraining order. And she has just guys in order waiting for her to restrain her. Because she loves. Here's why they wait at the phone for me. You tell them one good rape story in your childhood and they want to take care of you for the rest of your life. That is true. But then also I realized I did open with them too much.

Like I remember going on a date with this guy and being like so insulted he didn't want to date me. And when I think back on that date, I was rapping about rape. I was just like, this is a story all about how my skirt got flipped upside down. I'd like to take a minute and sit right here and tell you how they put pillows on the ground instead of chairs. Carlos is calling a banana. I like that. We like when Carlos takes charge. Yeah. Unless we don't like it and then we're really mad at him. And then he's fired. So I go into Hollywood Video. I have my dog in the car.

He goes, bring your dog in. He goes, I'm the manager. Just bring your dog in. So my dog is running down the aisles. It's so fun. I'm having the blast. Punky was running around the aisles having a great time. This guy's so cute. He was like this cute old

Jewish boy. He was 21. I think I was 23. I thought he was young. I was like, you're so young. Todd was fucking cut to Todd. He's like, I love the color green. Green. Green. I love green. Every time I think about our age

difference before five years ago, it's so disgusting. Give it up, girl. I love queen every time I think about our age difference like before five years ago it's so disgusting give it up girl go Asian guys Dave 9-11 is my favorite because Dave was an adult working and living

in New York City and I was in 6th grade oh my god I was in college that's so weird I was my first year of college. Oh, I'm getting kind of turned on. That's like Bobby and I, so. Oh yeah. Bobby was on Mad TV. Oh, you want to know what I was doing by it? Bobby was on Mad TV and I was in, I was a sophomore.

Wow. Mm-hmm. It is always crazy to think about how long Bobby has been successful. You know what's even sadder? And he'll never know. He'll never know. What's even sadder is that like i'm asian i shouldn't be racist but i also thought he played miss swan i was like is that i couldn't tell that

it was alex borstein and i was like oh my god he plays all of them including miss swan kind of i like that she was almost like a pat of asians yeah miss sw. Swan was Asian, right? Yes, that wasn't a white person playing an Asian role. I don't know enough, so I don't know. It is weird, you know,

like right now, there's a whole thing where you can't cast someone if they're not that race, right? Whitewashing, yeah. Yeah.

I'm open to being wrong and nobody giving a fuck. But why do they always cast non-Jewish people to play jewish people lizzie cooperman was talking about this the other day too yeah and it's like and no one gives a fuck are we talking about marvelous mrs mazel rachel brosnahan is lovely she's literally so talented like i fucking i'm so she's so likable but like she won an emmy for playing a jewish i know and she's not jewish and she's doing this like wow she's like won an Emmy for playing a Jewish woman. I know. And she's not Jewish.

And she's doing this like, oh, she's like, hey, guys, I'm just a New York girl. Like, girl, like she does it in like such like a Jew accent. It's like so racist. Tony Shalhoub. I love Tony Shalhoub. Not Jewish. He's not Jewish. Doing a Jewish thing.

I feel like he's the winning awards. Nobody gives a fuck. There's not one. Google. There's no articles nobody cares and there are so many other examples that I'm not thinking of

Oscar Isaac I have a hot take yes the hot take is are the Jewish people not the ones casting okay interesting point

and by the way that's why I'm saying this might be a false premise because like maybe Jewish people are so like self-hating that like it's their project and they don't want a Jewish star. Like I don't know, but I think it's weird. Yeah. But also Jewish people literally we've had our time. They like Jews like it's okay. Like, it's not the same as like, as Scarlett Johansson playing an Asian person.

Obviously, that takes priority. Don't you want to see that though, a little? I want to see her playing the trans. Why was she always the one playing the wrong thing? I have a question. Because she was supposed to play a trans girl. Do you think that whoever cast Scarlett in that role was just watching our podcast and they're like,let asian yeah that works i mean it is yeah i mean the whole thing's

where because it also is acting so you're like so the whole argument is like okay because back in the day it was like guys were playing with all the girls too like in shakespearean time so it's like everyone's always been playing right it's always changing so then it's like it's like is it weird if i play that i live in boston and i know it's not the same as race obviously but it's like it's an interesting conversation uh jamie lynn siebler played a meadow soprano what so that's the reverse of jews playing uh no white man shut up no i'm just kidding why because she Because she's Jewish playing Italian? Yeah. Is that okay? So that's like the reverse of what you just talked about.

I just, as the only brown person in this room, I just want to say white wars, white wars. I love it when white people fight. Yeah, it is all not even the race. Yeah. It's not even. There's enough infighting in the Asian community. We have it too. Really?

Oh, yeah. Well, what are your thoughts on it are you worse yeah like when you hear me say that are you like okay white people like you're fine shut up or well and he made a good point what it's like you know so much of this industry is like very you know affluent and jewish right and so it's like very rich they're rich too i'm yeah so it's almost like it lines the pockets of the exact type of person that is miscast but that to me is uh an outdated thing of like will jews run hollywood like to me that's almost like the fucking i'm going off like names like legit like it's like like the heads of the studio.

Harvey Weinstein. The Harvey Weinstein and stuff. I mean, I don't know. I can't. I would have to look per project. I don't want to like just say that that's the case. Wait, what do you think about a non-gay person playing a gay person or a gay person playing a straight person?

I know because then it's like, is it okay for the gay person to play the straight person? But not the other way around. Because I think what a lot is happening. I know because then it's like, is it okay for the gay person to play the straight person? But not the other way around. Because I think a lot is happening. Well, it's because the gay person is marginalized. Yeah. They get less opportunities. So it's more important.

Right. And I guess Jewish people, are they marginalized? I don't know. Like, you know. Yeah. Kind of. Jewish people, yeah. Yeah. Yes.

But it's like. There's like synagogue shootings and shit it's crazy what's going on it's kind of just like a weird sliver of like no one wants us but i as someone that grew up in a sea of jews and asians i it's so fun i actually like i'm living out my middle school and high school life with you guys i I watch a lot of hardcore Jewish shows, by the way. What's a hardcore Jewish show? You guys never watch it. It's on Netflix. It's one of my favorite shows. Never even heard of it. I watch every single episode. The guy is so hot.

It's about Orthodox Jewish people living in Israel. I could see you being like an Orthodox Jew chaser. Oh, hardcore. But they would never go for me. They would fuck me but never marry me. It's really sad. It breaks my heart. I thought see you being like an Orthodox Jew chaser. Oh, hardcore. But they would never go for me. They would fuck me but never marry me. Why?

It's really sad. It breaks my heart. I thought Jewish men are – I've literally told this my whole life because one of my best friends and like this Jewish guy was like, we're dating for a while. But they were just more like really lovers. And he was like, look, I really like you. Like in another world, like I would marry you.

But like I just can't. Okay. Wait, wait, wait. That's what – In another world, like, I would marry you, but, like, I just can't. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Because to me, I feel like I'm, like, raised and, like, thinking, like, Jewish men love Asian women. Yeah. And, like, they're, like, the super couple. Yeah, it's, like, koreanandjews.com. Like, that is something.

They're very similar, like, sensibilities. Because, like, my, one of my best friends is Korean. My other best friend is Jewish. It's triggering me and reminding me of my dead guy from the plane. Very similar sensibilities, but alas, like star-crossed lovers. Does it end with Dave and Bobby somehow? Snapping together? It's like West Side Story.

They're both on other sides. But I am like, what is your opinion? Like, do you, does it sound just like a white woman complaining about Jew casting like what is your I'm not gonna speak on behalf of Jewish people because that's not my yeah I don't I don't know that experience so like I'm looking at it speaking out about this so it's not like it's you're not like you didn't like come up with an idea too it's like in the zeitgeist to have these conversations I don't think there's like I think in a perfect world of course everyone would play according to I mean all characters will be played to the specificity of

the story and the world and the culture right but is that something that is feasible a hundred percent of the time moving forward i also feel like it's like if people choose to make that their fight that's their fight i'm like just trying to like have a good time and like not go fucking crazy. Do you know what I mean? Same, girl. Like I support anyone wants to fight. It's like I'm going to just really every day wake up and be like, let's make this a good one. Let's just try to get through.

Do you know how many hypnosis things I had to listen to today? Because I woke up just with the darkness inside me and I was like, not today, bitch. I'm not doing it. Oh, I know. I know. I've had the darkness inside me. I think I've given myself.'m not doing it oh i know i know i've had the darkness inside me i think i've given myself i think i have another stomach ulcer any i'm gonna send you this one hypnosis from my mary lou rodriguez guys check her out but for anyone

watching please watch this cell okay i really love this show and i feel like i'm the only one that's watched it we're just happy you're not watching only cartoons there's a really good one no but i know it's adult cartoon but it's like you're masturbating to them let's be real um s h t i s e l i think okay stiesel i don't know how to pronounce it either do you know that the number one um porn people watched on porn hub all year this last year was anime porn i don't remember hentai yeah yeah we gotta get back out in the world because it's people are fucking octopus they're fucking octopus octopi octopuses but that's hentai no hentai is anything it's robots it's everything it's like the extreme but it's a lot of penetration like hardcore like transformers time sex this one that's the

trans porn people are into? This is my favorite show of all time. That's the guy I think is so hot. He's so hot. Oh my God, you guys, he's so hot. I'm not saying he's un-hot.

It's just so funny that that's what you led with. He is hot. Thank you, Esther. Yeah. Are you kidding? I got to see him without the bangs.

I don't even mind the side curls. It's the bangs that I'm having trouble with. My Filipino mom, this is her favorite show too. We watch it together. He's so hot to me. I can even look you guys are so hot i love jewish men jewish men are hot as fuck i do like a strong i've only like strong noses

and what i love about todd is his nose is like kind of wide like he has a i love his nose i love a wide nose i love a big nose because i like a jew nose the most like i do like one that comes out it's like it almost is incestuous because it kind of reminds me of my brother's noses i guess I love a big nose. Because I like a Jew nose the most. Like I do like one that comes out. It's like it almost is incestuous because it kind of reminds me of my brother's noses, I guess. Oh, really? Well, my brothers have like my twin brother, Max. He broke his nose so many times and his nose looks like shapes were like shoved up, like blocks were shoved up. Like there's all these shapes going.

And then Timmy got a nose. My older brother got a nose job. He did? Yeah. Why? I have a question. Oh, by the way. Yeah. Your brothers are hot. It's school. Why? I have a question. He had a deviated septum. Oh, by the way. Yeah. Your brothers are hot.

It's kind of weird. They're so cute, right? It's so confusing. I think they look regular. Like, they have hot wives, which is a good sign. You know? Right, because you have no way of telling if they're actually hot. Yeah, I'm like, I think because, I mean, their noses were made fun of a lot in our household.

A lot. Really? My dad, when people would come up to us and be like, your kids are cute. My dad would go, wait till their nose is growing. I love you, dad. I love you, dad. That, okay, we did a photo shoot with, I was working in Santa Fe. Annie, look at you.

So cute. In Santa Fe, I was working for a photographer. You are so cute. I was thinking, I was, yeah, that one. I was thinking that. I was like there are pictures I can show you as a child where like you would want to go back in time and molest me I was I think I really have to look at this like I really am a chosen one I was blessed I was a

beautiful baby but so we I worked with this wedding photographer and Max came into town to Santa Fe one day and she's like let me take pictures of you so we accidentally got like engagement pictures yeah these are romantic they're so romantic you need this isn't that so crazy like we look like we're like about to like make it official that is the way he's looking at you it is literally hasn't looked at me since but wait now i feel like your brother looks like todd he doesn't look like todd at all there's like a ruin it but i do call todd i do call but i but he does feel like he could be in my family every time i'm in love with someone like truly like the fire burning inside me love which has only been

twice i have weird moments where my body like like short like i like the matrix breaks and they look like they're in my family like i know it's sick who was the other annie this is true do you know what i'm talking about it was like i just saw like a male version of my sister and it was really kind of rough I accidentally called Todd mom sometimes like I am so in love with this person that I'm like you may as well be my mother like I am like he's just like in my family he's my like he's my people it's so weird and it sounds very unromantic but I swear to god it's like a weird it does not sound unromantic to but I swear to God, it's like a weird. It does not sound unromantic to me. Like I accidentally like and he's like, I like have to explain.

I'm like, it's not out of any sort of like not attraction. It's like I like I'm so into you that I I just love him. I just say the things that I love. Speaking of noses, I so I have total nasal collapse on both. So when I breathe in, no air has come through my nose for a couple years wait are you serious i can't i'm a mouth breather and those juicy lips you see it yeah so i can't breathe because i struggle breathing through my nose too so i went to a doctor i guess we have so much in common like maybe it's gonna be hard when you guys are 69 and choking on each

other do you know how hard blowjobs are for me? Because I can't nose breathe. It's really. And you do not want to suck in too much stuff. This is why I want to be face fucked. Because I'm just like, and honestly, it's a life or death situation sometimes when I get face fucked. I'm like, there's no air coming in my nose. Like, I am like, you got to give me every 30 seconds. Give me a breath.

But anyways, Esther. So I went to a doctor in November. That is so funny. That needs to be clipped out. This is why I like to face fuck. I got a phone call during it. It was a spam risk. You answer. I was like, hello, this has got to be more important than this. My question to you guys is this. So apparently they have to put a graft in to keep my valves open. Do they have to break it like nose jobs? I don't know what they have to do. Because Timmy had a deviated septum.

My brother, that's why he got the nose job. And they gave him a full like it was like a full rhinoplasty because they were already going to have to do it. So they have to like. But yours sounds like it's not obstructed. It just collapsed. In fact, I don't have a deviated septum. It's just collapsed.

And apparently this happens to a lot of women when they have hormonal changes like over the years i'm like why didn't i have this as a kid and they were like sometimes do i have it with a lot go breathe in it should close nope yours don't collapse i like how you have ailment fomo if or when i do get my nasal valve thing it's gonna look like a rhinoplasty do i? Do I hide the fact or do I just come in? Look, I got my valves. Come in. Listen, you come in, but don't be taking it off. And all of a sudden you got a little, the tiniest little button nose and you're trying

to play it off. I like my prominent nose. Doesn't it sound like she's, but doesn't it sound like she's like planting seeds to get like a full blown nose job? Should I come in when I have to get this surgery that's like so serious? I can't breathe it's life risk next week I'm like so my boobs are gonna be looking weird the only way to prove that it is not in fact a rhinoplasty is that my insurance is fully paying for it oh wow so

they're like damn so that's how we know it's not a rhinoplasty or it's a scam of a lifetime hell yeah maybe baby but I'm just gonna be like every LA girl with a bruised nose, with a rhinoplasty look, right? So cool. I remember. You're going to inspect. You know what we should do? We'll come in with those pore strips that day.

Yeah. To look like you. I have to wear those every night just to breathe. Because if I accidentally close my mouth in my sleep and I wake up like I can't breathe, I might die. Oh my God. You're going to have to get one of the nose sleep apnea masks. Those are can't breathe. I might die. Oh, my God. You're going to have to get one of the no sleep apnea masks. Those are the craziest ones.

Just go right in. Yes, because nothing comes through, right? So this is what I tell Bobby to do. Like if he sees me sleeping, he has to do this. He has to pry my mouth open. You're counting on Bobby Lee to keep you alive at night. Well, I could see him watching her sleep.

That doesn't seem that off. He's actually playing video games and then just stares at you. He does do that. He does like rub my back and like tuck me in and stuff. Sweetie pie. He's in rehab right now. Shout out, babe.

Okay. What is the game today? Uh, we have dice. Okay. I'm going to roll. So what happens? I roll my dice and then what?

Yours are going to be telling whoever you want where to kiss you or do whatever to you. Oh my gosh. There's body locations. Look at her. She started reading them. Okay, no, I'll throw it on the floor. I'll be fair and square. Big money, big money. Someone has to suck my thigh.

Again? Oh my gosh. Kalilah. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Carlos. No, I'm just kidding. No. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Carlos. No, I'm just kidding. No, I'm just kidding.

She's all nervous. She's doing the just kidding nervous thing. Do you want to make out? Just kidding. Unless you're into it. That's so sad. Are we just friends? No, I mean, I'm just kidding.

I was just kidding. It's a joke. What are the other options? Okay, I'll do this with Todd. Kitchen. Gentle kitchen. And then Kalilah's are the positions. Gentle in the kitchen, Annie.

In the kitchen is not right. Oh, maybe this should all be. I'd rather do library with a candlestick. You have to suck my thigh gently in the kitchen. And now. Sucking your thigh gently is so much more. We do have a kitchen. I know.

Let's roll. Let's see what you got. Hang on. So what's mine, Carlos? Postures. Postures. And positions. One is.

Oh, backwards. This is weird. Okay. So legs up in the air missionary. And reverse cowgirl oh those are the two options like straight up missionary but my favorite

esther get in there are we supposed to all esther doesn't want to stand up because there's gonna be a little wet spot on her that's not true on her little dress well so i'm going home she's nervous.

Is this creating one sexual act? So this is the gentle fuck suck? No, Esther's like only concerned in her. I mean. You guys, I feel like I'm the only one playing this game. That's true.

What's the other one? Let me see the other one. Lick navel. Oh God, there's so much lint in there. I know it's really crusty. Well, someone should do it for esther no navel esther wants she's gonna give you a raise for this one that's crazy he's really looking out for you why are you fingering yourself i'm scratching your vagina my leg zoom in it's my

leg zoom out let's try again kiss navel again here I'll kiss your navel I'll kiss your fucking navel you didn't hear us sir wait you're wearing a dress you have to lift your dress no god I can't wait to see this underwear she picked

of course I have that too she doesn't have that she was being nice thank you every episode is just so highly sexual when you met Olivia Munn for the first time and you had

pubes down to your knees that was the greatest thing i've ever seen wait i don't remember that whitney was like come over we're having people over and it was like it was the day taylor thomason broke scratched her leg when whitney put her on the egg yes the point they put her on like a decorative egg it was like a like a like it may as well have been like macrame. It was like the lightest thing. And she was like, stand on this. And Taylor just got her legs sliced open. Oh, my God.

And Whitney was like, we got it on camera. But that day Whitney was like, well, go to the pool. So she just gave us all swimsuits and stuff. And then we did a photo shoot. And let's just say there were long sleeves on Esther's swimsuit, but there were not on her bottom, unfortunately, I guess. That's why I'm trying to get more waxes. So I'm in Hollywood Video.

And my dog's running around. This is going to be a TV continue. This guy is like so cute, so awesome. And he goes, he's like, we should take our dogs to the dog park. He goes, when you're done house sitting, like let's go to the, there's this beautiful arboretum, the Curtis Arboretum. I was like, this is like the greatest date I could ever imagine. I was like, okay.

I was like, hell yeah. Gives me, or I give him my number. And I'm like, call me in like two days. He doesn't call me. So I go to the Hollywood video and I'm like hey is Alex working and they both like look at each other and they're like should we tell her and I went what and they went oh he died the other day of an overdose with like my fucking number in his pocket and they didn't want to tell you well it's weird they were like uh but also i was thinking

like wouldn't it be funny if he was like hiding under the desk just hey i died what did we learn today esther wow well we have a funeral to plan and that's gonna be hard but we're gonna do it we're gonna bury some quiz we're gonna get sponsored by quiznos do quiznos still exist oh my god we're more sad about quiznos we all cry we need a blockbuster themed episode yes we need to immobilize carlos's um semen with a testicle bath yes how are we gonna test that there's two quiznos we tell them to go have sex with the girl and see if she gets pregnant? That's probably really bad. One of us. Just turkey-based one of us and see if one of us gets pregnant. I believe you have very, very hyper-mobile 89 mile per hour.

Sperm. Sperm, yeah. Why? You're athletic. He just has that – Carlos looks like he has a big dick. That's his body shape. Guys that look like Carlos always have big dicks. But you cannot tell a dick from a body shape.

I can. Why are you arguing against it? I can, Carlos. Hey, Carlos, tell them what the guys at the show told you. Oh, Esther was there for it, just that they liked my dedicated cam on the show. I will say on the road, Carlos's boner comes up a lot.

Yeah, Kalilah, you get brought up all the time to me. From the stage, after the shows, people are like, brother, how did you not get hard? Those better not be black people that you just impersonated. No, no, no, it's like a southern guy. We were in Nashville yesterday. But also that's a shot to me, to my ego, really. No, it's not because they're like.

People are like, what does Kalilah smell like? They can't believe in your presence that someone would not be hard. I know, right? I'm on their side. Kalilah, I had 30 seconds to prepare. I know, I know, I know. But Carlos, I truly think that you secretly have the biggest dick in the world. In the room.

In the room. I've seen George's secretly have the biggest dick in the world. In the room. In the room. No offense, George. Not any dick. I've seen George's dick. George doesn't have the energy. George is a big dick. It's so sad. I can see him having a big dick, but the energy isn't there.

But I can see the dick. I really hate that I know what George's dick looks like. But it's his religious upbringing that made him that up. Send it to Bobby, not you. I know you sent it to Bobby, but we all looked at it as a team. Is that why you're called the pink whatever? Yeah, the pink dick. That was afterwards, yeah.

It's big and pink. Happy Valentine's Day to my beautiful, happy Galentine's Day. Oh. Because it's a gallon of go-go? Originally from Parks and Rec, Dave was a writer of that show. So you can take it? So it's ours now? You guys, thank you so much. much as you know we're trying to

get to 200k subscribers this year okay please subscribe if you haven't yet comment if you like our theme ideas and what else yeah i'll keep interrupting sorry guys it's not gonna stop we're three old sperms and we'll see you fuckers next week bye guys bye guys