Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Annie's Vegas Birthday

Episode Date: August 10, 2021

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Starting point is 00:02:08 Everything you need to make a podcast all in one place. Just download the free Anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started. All right, guys, I am finally, it's here. I'm going to be at Caroline's on Broadway in New York City, August 12th through 14th. I cannot wait to see you there. I'll be at the Hartford Funny Bone in Connecticut, August 12th through 14th. I cannot wait to see you there. I'll be at the Hartford Funny Bone in Connecticut, August 27th through 28th. I'll be at the Zany's in Chicago, September 7th and 8th. And then I'll be in Cleveland, Ohio at Hilarity's, September 9th through 11th. I have a bunch more dates coming after that. Check them out on AnnieLetterman.com.
Starting point is 00:02:41 They're up now. Hey, guys. I'm so excited to be on the road. I'm coming to Portland November 3rd at the Helium Comedy Club and November 4th. I'll be at Cobbs in San Francisco and I'm coming to Florida in October and check out sleepoverbyaster.com for have you ever pulled out like a like a scary looking out of your ear out of the hole where your thing is no like you you dig your finger in your ear in the hole and you know the one yeah do you ever pull something out that you wish you hadn't seen? I always wish I'd seen it. Like it always so satisfactory to me. But does that happen? Do you see something grow?
Starting point is 00:03:30 Yeah, it's earwax. I just, the way you set that up is as though you have an extra ear hole you don't want us to know about. You're like, you know, the one ear hole. Well, you are confusing me. But have you ever had that happen? I thought you meant like squeezing the juice out. Yeah, but not scary. It's not like a worm comes out.
Starting point is 00:03:45 So what is it then? It's like a satisfying chunk of earwax. Yeah, it's just been impacted there. But it wasn't like dark and scary? Yes, but in a beautiful... I probably FaceTimed my loved ones and was like, yeah, I had a good gunk. Do you know that Asians have a different consistency
Starting point is 00:04:00 earwax than white people? What are you talking about? Does one of your ears have white people wax and the other has Asian? See, I've had this identity crisis, earwax than white people. What are you talking about? Does one of your ears have white people wax? So that's what, see I've had this identity crisis, not because I don't know where I'm from, but because my earwax can't decide what they are. Sometimes they're dry.
Starting point is 00:04:13 Sometimes it's wet. Cause you guys would have a waxy, wetter earwax. Asians have dry, flaky earwax. I thought I read that anyone can have either. Oh, I read that.
Starting point is 00:04:23 Esther has flaky earwax. I know. You have both? Everybody can have it that. Esther has flaky hands. I know. You have both? Everybody can have it all. Esther, who's been gripping you up? What's going on here? Dude, mosquitoes are attracted to me. Mosquito syndrome.
Starting point is 00:04:34 I think because I've dreamt of doing this to you before, it looks like someone just gripped their fingers and yanked you. Yeah, no, I know. My meaty arms are like, yeah. No, guys, can I just say, well, let's just say on this side i think we're very like classically beautifully plumply thick right now i think it looks good how could you say that look at her i'm plumply thick beautifully classically wait no we look good you're you just called me fat well you want me to undo what you said about yourself that's true listen our
Starting point is 00:05:01 arms are a little thicker no my arm has always looked nine months pregnant like it's just not my arm is not okay well then i'm sorry what i said about the rest of your body matching it my arm i look back on when i was like really fit before the pandemic and i am actually not into the look at all yeah i like all versions of myself i like a a you know a season change like i'm not against you know fluctuating before I used to really care about the extra five, six pounds. Who gives a shit? I look good no matter what weight. Hershey's down with five or six pounds. You might be too because of your height.
Starting point is 00:05:33 There are, like, it's definitely in the ranges of 10. Wait, I've hit, I've definitely gone 25 pounds over my normal before. Not now. Not now. Now I'm about 10 over my usual. Do you think it's that we're in our 30s and we're more comfortable? Whereas like in your 20s, like every little body change like scared me and I like had an eating disorder mindset. But now it's like, well, you know,
Starting point is 00:05:55 like you always say like I look fertile. Like who cares? I don't know. I think the fertile thing really helps me because of that. But I also like I have like little titties now. I have a little butt. Yeah. I don't know if I have like, I didn't get the full ones, but I, when I look back at myself when I was doing jujitsu and yoga and everything all day, I, you can see the bones here. Yeah. And the tits go, I go tits first. If that's what makes you happy, it's fine. But I honestly, genuinely, I'm attracted to you in this shape. Well, I was going to say I go tits first into a diet, but I also want to say I'm attracted to you in my outfit. Honestly, I was going to say, I go tits first into a diet, but I also want to say I'm attracted to you in my outfit.
Starting point is 00:06:27 Honestly, I'm such a narcissist. I'm like, she's never looked hotter. Her accessories are gorgeous. Everyone, it's Annie's birthday. Happy birthday, Annie. Happy birthday to our Annie. And in honor of that, I have, well, let me tell you, it actually goes a lot further. The shirt just isn't Piers.
Starting point is 00:06:43 I have fake nipples underneath here that you can't actually see. What you cheat them higher well they're bobbies they're bobbies you know he he wears earbuds to sleep or those ear waxy oh my god what have you stabbed his expensive like i i bought like ipod earbuds you're like yeah fuck him he's gone his raycon 250s um so i have that i actually tried to draw my abs. That was a disaster. Can you show us the attempt? It makes me feel so much better about myself. Ew, Kalilah. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:07:11 You know what she did, though? She did give herself like the cut. The cut. She gave herself the V. Okay, Annie is – I knew this. I called this the first time Annie did her abs, and I said it was her artistry. Annie is talented at it. She's talented.
Starting point is 00:07:24 And that's proof because you saw it. I can't do it. I can't. But yours look kind of bad today. You look pretty hot in my outfit too. Well, you want to know what happened? I had to – I was praying to have enough time to get – They look a little bit more like –
Starting point is 00:07:39 Oh, no. Oh, no. Open in that root chakra, baby. no oh no open in that root chakra baby but um i i i lost on the road i lost my tube my what tube do you usually use i use okay ladies at home and by the way nyx you owe me money for this okay nyx wonder stick this is the jam because you can get the highlighter too the highlighter's key you give it really pops but i think that you should give yourself more credit you know how to shape the ab yeah how did you learn did you like i followed where my abs like were underneath but did you like have to watch any tutorial you just i watched some tutorials why you know i have
Starting point is 00:08:19 add i can't they take so long and they're like subscribe and they like take so long to get to it that i'm like all right i'm gonna just drop myself i can't wait for so long and they're like subscribe and they like take so long to get to it that I'm like, all right I'm gonna just drop myself I can't wait for you to fucking take when I see like a like a makeup tutorial and it's 11 minutes I'm like shut the fuck up bitch. This should be a two minute video That's so funny because I love the ones that are like 45 minutes I just I'll just sit through the whole thing like wow, like she's so pretty and then look at her Look at what you learned No, because i'm a makeup on the go girl. Like I am a do it Wow, like she's so pretty. And then look at her makeup. And then look at what she learned.
Starting point is 00:08:46 No, because I'm a makeup on the go girl. Like I am a do it. You're a go-go queen. I'm a makeup on the go girl. I take the little sperm and I do their makeup. Well, I have a question. Today is Annie's birthday episode, but Annie's birthday has already happened. And I'm curious what happened on your birthday. What'd you do?
Starting point is 00:09:03 Tell us. I got, let's just say – You've been away. I like to say that I tempted the Delta virus. I had a real – let's see if this thing is going to get me or not sort of experience. And I'm scared. And did it get you? No, this was – don't worry.
Starting point is 00:09:17 Weeks ago and I've been tested several. But so – okay. So no, it didn't get me. But Whitney randomly hit me up. So my friend was going to throw me a surprise party and I was like, no thanks. Like, I don't, it wasn't like going to be, it's like, I would like to control the people that are, if I'm going to have a party, but I also don't want to party. I have a no surprise party policy.
Starting point is 00:09:37 Well, yeah, you have a no surprise, no party. But see, but don't you think I was onto something? You didn't want it. We had a great episode for you that you seemed miserable the whole time which one we gave you the wheelchair oh god by the way I'm gonna start just using a wheelchair why not I mean look if you if I don't think there's anyone to tell you like that if you have chronic fatigue which I think Esther has Esther has something or like low blood pressure low blood pressure I do like low blood pressure. Low blood pressure. I
Starting point is 00:10:05 do have low blood pressure. Yeah. You seem so proud. Yeah but do you really think I have chronic fatigue? From what you told me. Why? Did you miss me? I feel like do you think I have it? Am I being diagnosed? I for sure have it and because. Wait is this Esther's birthday? We can't diagnose her on my birthday. We can't give her her dream. I've never seen a happier girl. Are you diagnosing you with something? And that's one you could really milk too. Chronic fatigue. I can't make it. I'm too tired.
Starting point is 00:10:33 I can't make it over to that bowl. Can you put popcorn in it for me? I've always self-diagnosed myself with some type of like hypotensive issue where it's called POTS. What is happening? We're off the fucking rails. It's kind of like, it's like dysautonomia.
Starting point is 00:10:51 It's weird. My blood pressure gets low. It's a collection of things that my symptoms match. But I think you have some weird chronic fatigue going on. Some weird chronic, this is the rudest thing anyone's ever said. No, I mean, I think. Why are you grinning and looking like you're taking go-go right now? I've never seen a girl this happy since she was taking cum shots.
Starting point is 00:11:12 By the way, can I tell you where we're different? We're alike in a lot of ways. I would try my hardest in life to not be diagnosed with something called POTS. I would be like, I would change my entire life to not have whatever POTS is. Look, I don't know if I have POTS, but I for sure have orthostatic hypotension. So for instance, you guys, I passed out in a yoga class last week on a camel pose. She has fucking COVID. No, it will knock you out, though.
Starting point is 00:11:41 It knocked me the fuck out. You know how you're supposed to do it. You do the camel pose, Annie yes ma'am so yeah is it that it's where you hang on to your ankles but do it slowly because you will pass out something broke just now in your body yeah but so you're hanging on to your ankles here i'll do it oh fuck i can't do this one i'll do it oh i know like this yeah oh my god this is the one I skipped when I was doing Bikram. I cannot do this. Okay.
Starting point is 00:12:09 So I passed out in camel pose because I have. Have you ever imagined a stream of cum coming on you? Annie, drop it. Also, you passed out during. You're lying. Not because. I swear to God. I swear to God. The lights went out in the city.
Starting point is 00:12:24 But did people notice you passed out or did you wake up well my sister was right next to me and apparently like I came back to it cause and then my eyes
Starting point is 00:12:31 were in completely different directions we've heard we've heard about this wandering eye but usually goes inward Bobby goes out of town
Starting point is 00:12:38 and all of a sudden the eyes are wandering and so I it took me about a minute to come around and i was really embarrassed the whole class standing over you did you wake up like this and then everyone was standing over you no no one even noticed i was out that was that saddest part about it no one came to my aid that's like when i ran away from home and nobody knew and i just had to come home was it recently oh
Starting point is 00:13:00 esther that is sad how old were you do still run away from home. That's weird. I was little. Wait, do you ever threaten, like, do you ever, like, pack your, like, during a fight, pack your bags and threaten to leave? Not really. Do you guys? No, I don't make fake threats. I've, I learned that lesson a long time ago, guys. If you put a poison in the well when you do that.
Starting point is 00:13:21 That's so true. You cannot, like, if I get married, I realize, like, I could just never say the divorce word, the divorce, the D word. What is the divorce word? The divorce word is I can't say it. It's actually will get me canceled. But I had a guy do that to me. He was a visiting lover from Australia and he thought we were a lot more serious. We probably were pretty serious. But every day I would come home and he had probably read a text or something and every day
Starting point is 00:13:47 he packed his bag. Like for like three weeks straight every day he had his bags packed. I hate when you date someone long distance and then they come visit you and then you realize you absolutely hate
Starting point is 00:13:55 their fucking guts and then everything they say you hate. You're like, oh, you're so fucking annoying. And especially like an accent or like that you think is hot. Ew.
Starting point is 00:14:06 And then once it's in your ear all the time you're like, fucking hate this accent it's so funny that annie says that she's like don't you hate it when like this has happened multiple times wait i want to know she's like me i know it's happened we have to get back to yoga pass out this is my fault well nothing happened except that the lights went out in the city you guys guys, and no one was there to help me. You died? No one noticed. What city is it? New Jersey City over here? It went out in Waikiki. Oh, yeah, you were in Hawaii, right? Yeah, I went in.
Starting point is 00:14:32 Why did everyone have a better birthday than me? Wait, where were you? I greeted you from Hawaii. No, I will say this. I went to, I did go to, I went to Vegas, and it was Todd and I, I'm telling you, if I had gotten it, it would have been fucking worth it.
Starting point is 00:14:45 Oh my God. No, listen. No, I'm saying this 100%. You're going to understand when I tell you. The views expressed by Annie Letterman do not reflect the collective. Worth it. Listen, Todd and I were in the casino
Starting point is 00:14:58 and I got like 500 bucks in cash out and I just said, this is our gambling money. What casino? We were, well, we stayed at the Sahara which is like pretty gets and then the and then we went to the win but the problem with when you go to the nice ones the minimums are so high that it's not fun to play right it's like you don't it's like you don't want to run out of your money right away yeah but Todd and I went back to the other one and we were like I had to I had just gotten hypnotized to stop smoking cigarettes but there was a mother and son from Brooklyn that I would have been chain smoking hundred Newports,
Starting point is 00:15:31 Newport hundreds with. Like I was looking at those cigarettes going like literally this time yesterday, I would have been like smoked that lady's back. It was so fun. Yeah. Being hypnotized works? I've been getting hypnotized on everything. Tell us more about that. Well, let me get get through let me tell you about the epic birthday yeah todd and i found my favorite machine my favorite uh slot machine was this vanna white vanna white she would appear there were three different wheels it was the most exciting bonuses bonuses like it was just incredible then i go and i'm asking like where is the thing and they're like oh that doesn't exist anymore i was like it's just too good they had go and I'm asking, like, where is the thing? And they're like, oh, that doesn't exist anymore. I was like, it's just too good.
Starting point is 00:16:06 They had to take it from us. So then I'm like, ugh. But then I was like, you know what? You got to be positive. There's going to be another one that's good like that. Family Guy? So we find, I didn't try the Family Guy one, but we tried. Is that a good one, Esther?
Starting point is 00:16:16 We did a Walking Dead one. If you like Family Guy, it's great. You look like Stewie. Has anyone told you that? I want to be Stewie. That's like my first talent. Stewie is the best character in the whole thing except he's better
Starting point is 00:16:26 at accents than you who are you I'm the I don't know Quagmire the neighbor yeah Quagmire
Starting point is 00:16:32 we both knew okay keep going I'm like the annoying one I don't know with the great name but so we like I'm a Lois right what
Starting point is 00:16:42 I'm a Lois yeah you're Lois like we're all trying to fuck you oh what I'm a Lois, right? What? I'm a Lois. Yeah, you're Lois. Like we're all trying to fuck you. Oh. Oh, what? I'm a Lois, I think.
Starting point is 00:16:49 What's the daughter? You're the daughter at least. Let's cut. Move on. Meg? Meg. Be Meg at least. No, we all know I'm Meg. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:54 You can be all of them. No one wants to be Meg. Okay, then I'm posh. Then I'm posh. You can't be posh. You're not posh. I'm posh. Guys, I'm posh
Starting point is 00:17:03 and you literally can't do anything about it. No, I will. You can't un anything about it you can't unposh me look at you you're sporty do not call me the lesbian one she's not the lesbian one she's the only one that can really sing though why did your lips get so like they were eating a girl out when you said that you know go to the vegas story so we play a walking dead game that's pretty fun i'm like okay all right this is good we move on we get to we're passing by a crazy rich asians game and i say listen my girl nora aquafina that's my fucking homegirl my boyfriend's half asian my my people are asian sorry um everyone i like is asian um but so we sit down and play it and it's literally, I've never had more fun in my life.
Starting point is 00:17:47 Like I'm going to cry tears of joy how much fun it was. We were screaming. People were behind us. Like we were like, oh my God, like scream. People were like, go, go. Oh, you're getting our money. That should be ours.
Starting point is 00:17:56 Like we made, we made like $300. There's like these little like, these little diamonds that you get that give you bonuses. It's like ding, ding, ding, ding. And then it's just like, you know, like they, whenever they're like ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. And then it's just like, you know, like they, whenever they're like ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Starting point is 00:18:07 And it's like, you're making like, it's like 20 bucks. Like for like, they're like big money and it's a big $20. But you're like, it's just giving you everything you want. Cause it's just trained to make your brain feel that adrenaline. We were so happy. We were screaming. We were up like we had made $300 and then we brought it back down to 200. And I was like, all right, we got to go.
Starting point is 00:18:24 Cause we're starting to lose again. So Todd goes to play roulette, which my now my other favorite game goes to play roulette with the mother-son from Brooklyn oh my god you guys it was like so amazing it was this black guy with a butthole surfer shirt on and I was like do you like and he goes he goes yeah I saw them in uh in Brooklyn it just like the most amazing. It was just like worlds colliding. Like everything was like incredible. That is very, that's the ultimate Vegas vibe. It was unbelievable. His mother was like wasted and she didn't know how to play.
Starting point is 00:18:55 And she kept like trying to touch the dealer. It was just so good. It was like they had to leave for their flight. They were like, oh, we only have 45 minutes of our flight. I was like, that is so Vegas. So then we go, Todd goes to play roulette. I go into the bathroom and I go you know what I just feel like there's one a couple more pushes I gotta make so I go out to back to the business I was I'm not done I go I go back to the um Walking Dead and there had been this white bitch that was coming up I don't watch the show and she never made you any money and I was like eventually this white bitch is
Starting point is 00:19:27 making me money. I pushed it twice. The whole thing was this white bitch's face and then it was like times four and it was like ding ding ding ding. I made $200. Wow. And then I just took it out and went over and we played roulette. So we left.
Starting point is 00:19:39 We were like $300 up when we left. That sounds like the best night ever. It was so fun. Wow. But just the gate like falling. If you just lean into the fact that this is meant to make you feel the way it's feeling. Yeah. But I go behind people like hype people behind theirs. I'm like, yeah, one of the guys we were laughing about how little the amount is, but it's still so fun to watch. Maybe you're a warmer. You know how there's a cooler? Is that the opposite? A cooler is somebody
Starting point is 00:20:02 who joins a table and basically ruins the chances at the table. Have you seen that movie with it? But maybe you're somebody you're the opposite of that. She's a warmer, but she's also cold. So we have to get her a sweater. Attention to all men across the galaxy and all the way from Australia to Houston. Do you have a pube problem? I like the way you asked that. If so, our friends at Manscaped have cleared you for takeoff with their fourth generation and brand new Lawnmower 4.0. Kick your pubes to the next planet with the Performance Package 4.0.
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Starting point is 00:21:58 Hey, Annie and Kalilah, you know what's something that all three of us need really bad? Therapy? Better help. Bobby and I have been using better help for years and not only has it, it's just improved every aspect of my life. I think that even if you're not going through a crisis, it's good to keep, you know, the, the grass in your pastures green. And it's always good to talk out your week with somebody. So if there's something preventing you from achieving your goals, better help is the way to go.
Starting point is 00:22:29 We are obsessed with BetterHelp. They have a journal feature where I can just write out my feelings and what I'm dealing with and just whenever I feel like it. And my licensed therapist will check it out. And also what I love about it is 48 hours from now, you can be communicating with someone who's helping you. And it's more affordable than traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available. They have licensed professional counselors who are specialized in depression, stress, anxiety, trauma. That's all of us. Anger, family conflicts, LGBT matters. And the service is available for clients worldwide. You can find the particular expertise you need online. You don't need to limit yourself to the counselors located near you. And do not worry, you guys. Anything you share is confidential. And this BetterHelp is so convenient, professional, and affordable. They have so many testimonials on their
Starting point is 00:23:13 site, and it's not a crisis line. This is the real deal. In fact, so many people have been using BetterHelp that they are recruiting additional counselors in all 50 states. We want you to start living a happier life today. And as a listener, you'll get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday. Join over 1 million people who have taken charge of their mental health. Again, that's betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday. There's nothing more important, I'm sorry, than your mental health. Nothing. But there was like a movie it was a movie called the coolers or no the cooler but it's about vegas and it's like if you want the table like the the casino
Starting point is 00:23:53 hired her to approach a table to sort of cool the table when it's a little too hot how could nursing school doesn't work out yes how does how could you actively cool a table down like that's what i don't understand well if it's if there's like maybe if they're just like on a run you add one more person then all of the good cards go out my dad recently went to vegas and he told me that so he he was playing poker and i guess when you play poker at the table who's at the bellagio you hand everyone your like players card which has your name on it so like the dealer gets all the players cards goes through whatever and my dad's sitting there at the table and the the dealer goes more ap and my dad's like yeah and he's like hey and it's a guy that my dad went to
Starting point is 00:24:37 high school with and played cards with and my dad's 78 years old it's like how what are the chances and i was just like, that's crazy. Like that would only happen to me. He should have gone and put money like on black. He should have been like, I'm putting all my money on black. I thought the story was going to go completely different way. Then they started kissing. No, I thought he was going to be mistaken for Maury Povich. Maury P. I guess he could be. Well, my dad can only go to several, like he can't go to, there's a certain like parent company. I don't know if it's MGM or which one. He can't go to there's a certain like parent company i don't know if it's mgm or which one he can't go to any of their casinos because he banned himself oh good that's yeah oh you can ban yourself yeah you can blacklist you my dad did the same thing he did yeah all
Starting point is 00:25:14 over because he lost most of his money gambling because he was one of those yeah bad gambler it's just it the thing is because the fun is in the continuing to do it it really isn't yeah earning that's the problem. If you can like, you would probably be great at it because I could see you just taking the money and going. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:30 But it's like, I was much better on this trip than I ever have been. Like where it's like, I could feel myself, okay, I'm going into the dark zone. Like obviously we've had enough fun. Wait, what's the dark zone?
Starting point is 00:25:40 It's just when you know it stopped giving you the good stuff because it sucks you in. Like the machines are- Like it's not sucks you in. Like the machines are – Like it's not fun anymore. Well, the machines are going to give you a lot of like bonuses and wins. But like after a while, it cools the – I don't know the terminology. That's what happened to me in – I know it's a different island, different place.
Starting point is 00:25:58 But that's what happened to me in Hawaii. So everything closes down there at 12 because of COVID and whatnot. But I went to a bar for the first time in like two years i had two drinks and the rest of the night i was in every single uber looking for strip club looking for an open strip club why that's what does that sober because i think that i've been like in this space for so long that when i had my first drink it was like a nostalgic i'm in vegas feeling because i'm out with my friends let's let's just it doesn't end here yeah let's morning the night you know well sometimes it is it's like why would we just go to bed now there's more to be had i will say since you said what you just said
Starting point is 00:26:35 that one time me and dave went to a strip club in santa barbara and you slid off the chair you suck too much cum you suck no we went to strip club and like dave was like i feel like you're enjoying like dave was like weirded out dave you do have long hair like i'm just saying like your hair is a little i feel like he felt like i liked it too much a little like i i just there was that was in the air i I hope he doesn't watch this podcast. Well, sometimes he does. The other day he sent me like a little screenshot of because you know how the producers will add like little like it says it labels the chunk of like this is we're talking about your clubs. There is one chunk that was labeled like Dave's sleep apnea mask.
Starting point is 00:27:20 He was like, great. to clean it. He was like, great. Wait, okay, we keep teasing a Vegas trip. Is it actually
Starting point is 00:27:29 going to happen? We have to do it. Are you kidding? Yeah, like how? Yes, when? I want to go so bad
Starting point is 00:27:33 we got to see Usher. I also have a dream. Guys, I have a dream. Hold on, is that a team decision Usher? I'll leave you guys.
Starting point is 00:27:40 I want to do Usher. Are you kidding me? Katy Perry. Let's do both. One night, one night. Is she back? She's coming in the December, I think she starts. Wait, because I want to do Usher for sure.
Starting point is 00:27:51 I would totally say come, even if it's like, I just see like a shot on your head. She's horny. Ring my bell. I'm going to go like as soon as possible. I really, I've never had more fun. I realize I come alive. They're in Miami. I brought, I've never had more fun. I realized I come alive there and Miami. I brought my Miami out, by the way.
Starting point is 00:28:11 I will say that Vegas in the winter starts to die down. What do you mean? In a good way? Just the vibe is not as fun. So it's got to be late September or sometime in the next two months or I'm out. Okay. Well, don't threaten us. I'll take the threat. I'm threatening.
Starting point is 00:28:22 That was bulletproof. I'm threatening. Also, my winter body is not. I'm not primed for Vegas activity. I'm going to the desert to do drugs with Doug. Doug Stanhope. Crew again at the very end of September. Oh, OK.
Starting point is 00:28:34 We'll have to do it. Well, it's close enough to Vegas. Is it Death Valley? Yeah. OK, we can make it. Yeah. Well, I could also do. We don't need much time, right?
Starting point is 00:28:43 Like we could go Friday night to Sunday night. I do want to watch a show though. So Annie's right. I do want to see Usher. I want to get backstage at Criss Angel. I'm just saying that. I'm putting that out there into the universe and I will. I'm going to be like, Criss Angel, do you want to see a trick?
Starting point is 00:28:56 I'm now behind the curtain. I'm now backstage. Did you grow up to Criss Angel? A little bit, but it's more just like i don't i'm no longer i no longer want to just be an innocent bystander i want to be like listen have you heard of podcasts well we've got one we need to be backstage okay i feel like there's other places i'd rather go backstage like before chris angel is it getting a pedicure because you're fingering your just crusty toes i don't get pedicures they make me uncomfortable yeah we
Starting point is 00:29:25 can see do you get them yes i don't at all i've never i haven't had a pedicure in eight years i think it's like creepy like feet are like tools they're not meant to be tools to what to walk to make men oh not for me are you sure to walk aster because you're a you're also a wheelchair queen all right you know what we need to because you're also a wheelchair queen? All right. You know what we need to get you? We need to get you those Heelys, the shoes with wheels. I want those too. Did you ever hurt myself?
Starting point is 00:29:52 No, I've always looked at those like, wow, what would that be like? Can you imagine she forgets she has them and goes to get in her car right down the fucking hill? Wait, Annie, I need to hear about this hypnotizing thing. Like, are you really telling me that you got hypnotized and it made you quit smoking? Do you feel sleepy? Yeah. Tell us more. I honestly also think it's the reason I didn't get COVID.
Starting point is 00:30:16 The views expressed by Annie Letterman. No, I think I made myself like immune. Like my immune system. Well, I think it could be the vaccine. I do think that there's something to what you're saying. It's like if you don't carry that stress in your life, your immune system is automatically boosted. So it's like so there is, you know, it's a combination.
Starting point is 00:30:36 She's vaccinated. She's in a better place. And her immune system is joyful and light. I just was like, my family's healthy. I'm healthy. Yeah. But, you know, I got I've gotten hypnotized for that. I did a hypnosis today that was like sexual trauma hypnosis.
Starting point is 00:30:53 That was I had some crazy epiphanies. Really? And I got to go in again and do it again. But it was she had me like go back over my timeline of my life and see like like I envisioned it like um an ekg is that what it's called like at the heart yeah like like a line like that and I was like floating over it and then I would see like dark spots and then I would go to them and I had this like memory of there was this guy jack who used to come to my parents house like so dark I really jumped into this from Vegas but, who used to come to my parents' house. It was, like, so dark. I really jumped into this from Vegas.
Starting point is 00:31:25 But he used to come to my house, and I always, like, thought he might have molested me because he would, like, tickle me and chase me into this closet. It was this memory I always had. But he was only at my house two times when I was, like, four or whatever. So it's, like, this, like, misty memory. And in the hypnosis today, I was, like, what happened? What happened? I think I either, like, bit him or yelled at him because I was thinking about it every
Starting point is 00:31:47 and all of my like sexual assaults, like my three or four that I had makes me sound so histrionic. I swear to God, I'm not a liar. But I always told. I always like got them in trouble. They always were fired. I always went to court. I never, ever, ever like didn't like avenge it.
Starting point is 00:32:04 So I'm like, why would this have been a time that I didn't and I was like I think I I told him to get away from me because also he didn't come back so he came twice the the second time was the chasing me into the oh yeah you were a biter I told him I got his fucking ass out yeah is this something you didn't know about until you just did this I had the memory of the closet but I didn't really know what happened. I kind of was like, who fucking cares? I really need another one.
Starting point is 00:32:28 Who gives a shit? But it was cool to be able to like, so she takes you back and like you go through these situations and then you think of like the positive thing that happened from it, like the lesson you learned from it. And then you just focus on that. And then you like deflate whatever the bad emotion is. Like you physically like release the air from it. And then you just put light into it.
Starting point is 00:32:50 And then your lifeline just has all these like bright light spots now instead of the dark ones. Oh, I like that. Yeah, it was really cool. And when they put you like do they actually do the like you're getting seen? No. It's like you talk over Zoom. So the way that I've been doing it is like you talk over zoom and you tell her like whatever you're dealing with and then she's like well what does your she goes what does your beautiful brain need to hear
Starting point is 00:33:13 and then so you so if i'm worried about like um ticket sales or something if i'm like i'm worried about ticket sales like instead of that i should be like I'm really like happy to perform rather than focusing on that or I don't know if that's the right example but so then you know you're just like putting stuff into your head yeah you're also just replacing the other feeling right the negative feeling with something yeah good one yeah yeah it's cool it's like been really awesome but um I wanted to talk to you, Annie. You mentioned something about your family vacation and how it didn't go as smoothly this time around. Well, my brother, my older brother just got this house in New Jersey and he's like, everyone stay with me.
Starting point is 00:33:56 And we're like, OK. I was like, I can get a hotel. I actually have enough money for a hotel and I don't have to sleep on a couch. Even though I do like getting woken up by the kids. It's fun. So I do like that. And we also like kids it's fun oh so I do like that and we also like the family hangs out we smoke a little weed not me because I don't do that anymore but um you quit smoking pot sometimes okay sometimes but not but this time I didn't smoke
Starting point is 00:34:16 every once a month I do yes every few days but um occasionally I dabble in quitting smoking weed but I had been smoking cigarettes a lot and she completely cleared that it was so cool and my fucking tmj dude i'm not clenching i swear to god i'm not clenching my jaw and she put into my brain that i my jaw is relaxed while i'm sleeping no way i swear to god well esther and i might be going on a trek because we're just in so much pain you're gonna go to the to the Botox? Well, here's the thing. I don't want to get Botox on my jaw because I'm afraid of losing my big fat cheeks. I do love the shape of my face.
Starting point is 00:34:50 I don't want to change anything about the shape of my face. But my doctor did say there's a chance that you can only need it once and just break the habit of clenching altogether, that he's had patients only need it once or twice, and that's it. But I just have a fear of, you know, because I like my cheeks and I don't like. I mean, don't bring in that Botox needle near me. A lot of the
Starting point is 00:35:11 chances I'm not like, come on, give me a little. Lift your arms. I'm like, come on. I'm going to try to cure this next, my sweaty armpits. But that's amazing. So you're not clenching. It's like, I mean, it's better by like over 50%. Like it's like crazy. I recently had someone, which you're the first person who told me about this, where they go in your mouth. It's good, right? It's so, a masseuse or like a foot body work guy puts his hands in my mouth.
Starting point is 00:35:37 It is amazing. Let's stop going to guys. But anyway, no more boys. They go in your mouth. They take their penis and they get your like no no no no can i guys can i show you guys the nipples i'm using yes hold on i think i can i show you mine look is it not the close to your color oh i love that yeah these are the things oh does he do that to not hear things? Yeah, he doesn't want to hear anything.
Starting point is 00:36:06 He's a fucking yapper. Oh, my God. I know he is. Oh, my God. Bobby does my head in. He really won't shut the fuck up sometimes. He always has to have an opinion. I'm more of a quiet, let's just get things done around the house.
Starting point is 00:36:21 We can talk about it later. We can talk about it. Annie, what I wanted to get to was your- My fight with my brother? No, no, no. You realizing that you were a fat family. Oh, we went swimming. Yeah, we went swimming. And it was actually the most fun. So we went to like the, like my brother's a member of a pool. And there was really not anyone there. So it was just like we had the pool. And we were pool kids. like we used to walk to the pool every day and hang out the pool all day so me and my two brothers put all pushing 40s 140 already like diving off the diving board like we are fucking seven years old like we
Starting point is 00:36:56 were I was doing a back dive or do other stuff but my sister-in-law gave me a one piece to wear because I only have like the horriest I mean just ass cheeks out and um so I was wearing my sister-in-law's bikini or swimsuit and it was just I mean there were pictures and I was like oh my god like we are you don't have to have a kid to have a mama's body it turns out and we it just I just was like looking at my feeling like I go, we're a fat family now. We can't. Like you're siblings. My brothers, we are. None of us.
Starting point is 00:37:28 Like usually there's one that's like fit. Like we are all. We got COVID in. Let's just say that. We got COVID 15 or 19, whatever it is. But there's such a joy in just accepting. They have kids. They have family.
Starting point is 00:37:43 I'm like, I look great for a mother of two. Like, I look amazing. In that swimsuit, it was like I was the hottest mother of two there. Sometimes I do want to tell people I'm 45 just to hear the compliment of saying, wow. You know what always happens when you do that? They go, oh, my God, you only look 44. And then you're like, what? I was –
Starting point is 00:37:57 You're like, I'm 36. It always backfires. You're right. But not that I'm fat. Not that my family's fat, guys. It was just the thing I said. But so we then my OK, so we always do these themed photos or we have in the past, me and my family. And this one we were going to do the kids dress up like adults, the adults dress up like kids. But at this point, there's so many people in the family now it's stressful to
Starting point is 00:38:19 do. And it's now my mom has like hijacked it. It was like a thing I did for my Instagram because I have followers. And my mom now is like, we need to do my picture. It's like, nobody cares about your mom. But I love you. I love my mom. I love my mom. But so we're like getting this whole thing together. I black my two teeth out, put my hair in pigtails. My brother is wearing like a cowboy shirt and a cowboy hat. And he just starts yelling at me and I just lose it. I start yelling back at him. And I didn't even realize until today that we were in these costumes and we're yelling. I'm like, if there's footage of that fight, I mean, we were like going at each other. What was the fight? He goes, well, we're trying to figure out like where the kids were
Starting point is 00:38:59 going to stand. And he just started yelling at me and going, you have no respect for my things. I'm like, Timmy, is this from fourth grade? Because I literally, I'm just here taking care of it and having fun with your kids. I've done nothing. I didn't, was not like anything. You have no respect for my things. I'm like, for what? What the hell are you talking about? And he's like screaming at me. And then he didn't realize he yelled at me. And my sister-in-law, not his wife, my other sister-in-law had to be like, no, Tim, you started that. That was crazy. You came out of nowhere. She didn't do anything I was like yes bitch this is what having a sister's like this is awesome that is not what having a sister's
Starting point is 00:39:31 like it is just to be clear if you have a sister that's close enough in age like it's it's the best I cannot describe to you how lucky I feel that I have a sister only a year older than me. That is cool. It is like a warm blanket. I think you just know that you just know that life can never suck as long as you're around. Esther's sister always says she's like a wet blanket. My sister, I view her more as like my abuser, like just tortured me my whole childhood. It wasn't so nice on her end either. The helper? Seven seven years old put to work did she care of this kid is that what happened did she have to care for you a lot of times she she was a helper yeah yeah that's that's rough on a kid too but she i think she she liked it like she she we had our good moments but you know there was also the rough stages where she was
Starting point is 00:40:20 torturing me fully and i love her and i was sitting outside the door, out of the door, closed door of her room, crying, screaming, begging to get in. Oh, I've been there. I've been there too with Esther. Everyone goes to her face. Let me in, let me in. Everyone's got Esther banging on the door at some point. I love the sponsors so much.
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Starting point is 00:41:53 and Esther and Annie. No, but you guys know how it feels when you have a really tense jaw or like a tense neck and then the feeling after you've used the Theragun, you just feel lighter and easier. I will say after my most difficult like workout days, this cuts my recovery in half. Try Theragun for 30 days starting at only $199. Go to therabody.com slash trash Tuesday right now and get your gen for Theragun today.
Starting point is 00:42:21 That's therabody.com slash trash Tuesday. Therabody.com slash trash Tuesday. We are obsessed with our Theragun today. That's therabody.com slash trash Tuesday. Therabody.com slash trash Tuesday. We are obsessed with our Theraguns. Wait, Annie, is your ex still using your Netflix password? Because that's what one woman found out after she downloaded Truebill, which finds and cancels subscriptions with just a tap. I mean, is that not enough to get it? No, the day of the pandemic, I was like, change all passwords. Bye. Sorry. Truebill is the new app that helps you identify and stop paying for subscriptions you don't need, want, or simply forgot about, which is my biggest problem.
Starting point is 00:42:56 Oh, I get a ding and I go, I'm like, oh, I'll look at that later. And then it's like, you look at your bill and you're like, that was, it's so much money. It's been so long. So crazy. No, when I got Truebill, honestly, it was an entire list of shit i did not know i was spending a ton on it's so sad how much is workout stuff too what gets you is like you agree to like a seven day subscription free right and then it dings you and then you just forget i have so many of those it's so bad like i true bill has hooked me up. Also, on average, people save up to $720 a year with Truebill. Me. No, mine's way higher than that. A month maybe. I genuinely believe that. You guys,
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Starting point is 00:43:59 fun seeing what you've been up to. Do you know how many tops at Zara you could have bought for $720? Crab legs is all I'm thinking about. Yeah, I'm thinking of sushi. Esther, so I want to talk about your mosquito bites. Do you think you have Skeeter syndrome? What's that? She's so happy. This is a sick person. I'm just throwing diagnoses at you because I know they make you happy. Thank you. Skeeter syndrome refers to a significant allergic reaction to a significant allergic reaction to a mosquito bite. So it's not like you get bitten more. You and I probably get bit the same.
Starting point is 00:44:30 You just have a bigger reaction to the bite. So you get like big. Does this make her have a bigger reaction to everything? This is going to be what she has. I actually feel very confident I don't have this because this says you have a very, you're very sensitive to the bites and you may develop a fever. I have to say I am that, I was always that kid that showed up to school covered in bites, my legs. Like I'm always covered, covered so many more than everyone else. And I feel completely fine. It's sweet blood. They call you that.
Starting point is 00:44:57 She's just had chicken pox. She was just giving everyone fucking chicken pox the whole time. That's a good name for a sweet blood. Sweet blood. But I was going to say, my best friend has Skeeter syndrome. And when she gets bit by even a single- You pet and Skeeter together?
Starting point is 00:45:11 Not me. This is really hard. No, I'm just saying the team you guys have. So hers gets, like, it's a giant boiled egg and she does get a fever. Wow. Like the size of her mosquito bites are like this big. It's really sad.
Starting point is 00:45:24 My nieces get like, not like that big, but they do get bigger than usual. But she doesn't get a fever or anything. Esther, you told me a story about your ballet teacher the other day. It's going to be so different than our teacher stories. It's, well, I don't know. It's not great. This was, so I started taking ballet class again like the last couple weeks just like for therapy, you know, mental. This is a current teacher?
Starting point is 00:45:49 No, no, just wait. Is it because oflympic year you thought that you'd make a comeback no i was like you know i had a little health thing and i was like okay you know what i couldn't really work out for a little bit and i was like and was your health thing for uh the past 20 years yes i feel like in that joke you assumed i was only 20 years old. I was imagining I knew you for 20 years. So I got – I was like, you know what? I'm going to take advantage. I'm feeling better. I'm going to take ballet class. So I've been going to ballet and it's been really – like therapy, it's been really fun.
Starting point is 00:46:16 But there is this one ballet class that I looked up and I was like, oh, I can't go back to that one. Because the last time I went there, I took the class. It was great. Were the kids mean to you in the class? No, this is an adult class. Just imagine you as the only adult in a child's class. Oh, I've done that too. I've done that too.
Starting point is 00:46:35 That's how you look good. They're better than you. That's how you stand out. So I take the class and I really like the teacher. And at the end of the class, I always go up and think the teacher maybe strike up a conversation she's like you look really familiar and I was like oh yeah you know the Foo Fighters I was like oh you know I'm a comedian she's like oh yeah I'm like what she's like um I it's so bad I'm just gonna tell you basically who she was she remembered me because about seven years earlier I sent her a message on Facebook saying you work at Starbucks with my boyfriend
Starting point is 00:47:13 and I think you that you don't know he has a girlfriend and I think that he and him are hooking up so why don't you tell me if you are or not because i used to be a fucking psycho with dave no no someone else someone else so i was dating a guy who had a part-time job at starbucks red robin and starbucks i mean these we're getting some deep pots bottomless fries i love red robin and i was so embarrassed i was like i am so sorry well how like sure were you like that she was going to be like, oh my God. I love your standoff. Oh, wow. I love your Comedy Central special. Thank God this is a little before that. But yeah, like it just goes to show like that girl that you're DMing because you think she's hooking up with your boyfriend might be your ballet teacher
Starting point is 00:48:01 seven years later. Wait, did she, was she hooking up with him i actually still don't know by the time that this we met i really didn't care thank god but i this guy i was dating i think was like cheating on me quite a bit and i have i don't know the fat one or the skinny one i'm not people will know so i'm not even i know that you wait on behalf of my lovely exes fuck you those two are not lovely listen we like them they're our friends they're not lovely i actually still don't know what he was up to wait did you ask her what do you care to know if he did or not now i don don't care at all. Yeah, I know. I don't care at all. Because I'm best friends with one of my exes when I was 17. And I'm like, literally, we're really good friends. And we spear fish together, all of these things.
Starting point is 00:48:53 He's married. I love his wife. Is he the one that I met that just recovered? No, no, no. He's like a- You have hot friends, dude. Everyone's hot. They're married and hot. They are.
Starting point is 00:49:02 They are married and hot. I mean, I'm with a very hot woman. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah but um but this particular guy um i dated him from 17 to 20 and when we talk about his time in his life he always like we he always reveals something new to me that i didn't know back then and it's always like wait when did that happen and he's like oh this is i fucked this girl then i was like we were together he's like oh yeah sorry this is – I fucked this girl then. I was like, we were together. He's like, oh, yeah, sorry, dude.
Starting point is 00:49:27 Are you serious? But it doesn't bother me at all. It doesn't bother me now clearly because it's like who gives a shit? It doesn't change anything. But it does make me wonder like how much do I know about every single person I've dated in the past? Because I've always just had trust. Yeah. I know me too.
Starting point is 00:49:43 I'm the opposite. Because of what's happened,'ve always just had trust. Yeah. I'm the opposite. Because of what's happened, I've never had trust. And it took probably two years of like not trusting Dave and going through his phone and reading all his old Facebook messages before I'm like, okay, like now I know what trust is. You're like, this is so boring. So many storylines. Oh, another storyline for another episode. Cool. Now I know what trust is, but before that, I literally didn't know what it felt like to trust someone. Wait, so Esther, are you ever going to ask her?
Starting point is 00:50:10 Let's call her. No. We've got her on the line. Because I am too embarrassed to go back to her class. No, you should go back to her class and fucking – Was the class good? Yeah, it was – Then go back.
Starting point is 00:50:22 But like I – she knows this embarrassing thing about everybody did you apologize did you apologize i did of course i yeah i i was totally like i'm oh my god i'm so embarrassed i'm so sorry but also maybe she banged him and if that's the case i want to say on behalf of everyone i'm so sorry that's horrible that you went through that with that but but if she did that's it's not her bad it's his bad no i know she's innocent right if she had sex with him because you're saying you didn't know that she didn't know yeah then why don't we just if we're still friends with the ex we just ask him so and so i took a ballet class and this is her did you bang her did you ever hang did you hook up with
Starting point is 00:50:59 that girl at starbucks yeah we need to know now i I need to know. Oh my God. I'll ask that. Because even if it's a yes, it will just confirm. I don't think he'll be honest with me. Even now? I don't think he's going to want to admit that he was cheating on me. I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:51:14 It's kind of cool in retrospect that he cheated on you though. Why? Why? I don't know. He got away with something. I mean, we broke up like right soon. He dumped my ass.
Starting point is 00:51:23 I will say Annie is right in the sense that he outdid your spy work. And you're really a spy. Thank you. You're a great spy. How did he outdo my spy work? Excuse me? Because you still don't know the answer. Oh, because I didn't.
Starting point is 00:51:37 I dumped your ass. You didn't get to find out. I didn't care. You dumped her. Did he dump you? You're into the. I don't know. I don't know that you care about the actual information.
Starting point is 00:51:45 You're just like the spy. I like the chase, the hunt of the info. Your dad – this is like your dad, right? You guys learned how to be – Yeah, kind of. Yeah. You're a researcher. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:54 It's like in college. I'm a detective. Yeah. In college, I loved doing the research for papers. I never liked writing them. So then I passed it off to my mom. So now it's your turn, mother. But I used to love going to like the – I would have to go to the libraries in like
Starting point is 00:52:05 Albuquerque, which is an hour away from Santa Fe. And I'd go into the basement and like you're like dusting off like the books. Like, oh, now I'm going to go to this book. And then I was like, what am I – I don't even – You're like, I don't give a fuck. Yeah. I don't even write this shit. But I will ask him.
Starting point is 00:52:18 Yeah. I don't – yeah. Why not? I think it's worth it. I think our audience deserves an answer. I'll report back because maybe that girl was like, shit yeah I did my bad or maybe she's just like this crazy girl DM me and nothing I never did anything that's how I found out about a next cheating on me I just asked her straight up like this is what I think was your ex a girl see if she stays with us or
Starting point is 00:52:40 falls to the floor or not maybe pass out so So my ex cheated on me with a tattoo client. And I got suspicious and I asked her, I was like, did you sleep with my boyfriend? And she was a really nice lady. She was a teacher. She said, yeah. She said that you guys were broken up. And then that's it. I got my answer.
Starting point is 00:53:00 Wow. I had a girl who dated my ex-boyfriend like right after we broke up. But I had been in this three-year relationship I didn't want to be in. So like – For three years? Oh, it was supposed to be two months. I was like – Which one was this?
Starting point is 00:53:13 Do I know it? The rollerblader. Oh, yeah. Do you remember the rollerblader? It should have been two months. This was when we were off though. When we lived next to each other while we were fighting. Wait, was he an avid rollerblader?
Starting point is 00:53:25 Like it was his 30th birthday. Yeah, it's his 30th birthday. I had to go to elementary school so he could skate the kids park or whatever. Did you have to rollerblade with him? I do love rollerblading, by the way. I can't knock rollerblading. Now as an elder person, an elder in this world, I would rollerblade. Rollerblading was fun.
Starting point is 00:53:46 It was his whole thing. It can't be your whole thing. He was 30. It was like, if you could make it with rollerblading, which I'm not sure you can, you didn't make it. Well, also, there's a reason why rollerblading is not in the Olympics. He was pretty good at it. He was good.
Starting point is 00:54:01 He could do all the tricks and stuff. It was so funny to be a comedian dating a rollerblader. And I would sometimes just say that on stage and everyone would just laugh. I'm like, oh my, I didn't even tell a joke. I just told you like what he is. Damn. Is that why it went on longer than it should have? Yes.
Starting point is 00:54:16 Well, he kept skating away. I was trying to break up with him. He would roll off. Yeah, because it was funny. I was like, you're giving me too many punchlines. You guys. Yeah, because it was funny. I was like, you're giving me too many punchlines.
Starting point is 00:54:23 You guys. So I just, it occurred to me that we're not the original slugs. Excuse me? I know. Well, Jules, you know, applied to all of these colleges and she got into certain UC schools. But do you know that UC Santa Cruz are the banana slugs? No. Are you serious? Yeah, that's their fucking, what do you call it um mascot mascot
Starting point is 00:54:47 should we apply to be students also uc santa cruz is after watching back to school for some reason i know it's very they're infamous for being like a stoner school right a really fun oh my god i love it i i i want to associate with these thoseugs. Those are really, there's a cute one. That one's kind of scary. The honey slugs is what they're called? Banana slugs. Oh, banana slugs. I know. How accurate is that?
Starting point is 00:55:12 We got to get money from these people. They should be paying us. That doesn't seem right. We should be there. Although I will say, Annie, if I ever pictured you in a university, it would be UC Santa Cruz. Why? It is such like a cool like stoner kind of like creatives type of school.
Starting point is 00:55:30 That sounds really fun. I really need to go there. We got to get you high. I got to go to school. Get your nursing degree from there. You know, someone commented that like they think I just want the prestige of nursing school. No, I want the knowledge.
Starting point is 00:55:43 Is there a way to block comments from Esther? I can't allow you to keep reading. You're giving them too much power. I don't read them. I will skim them, but I do want to clarify. I really want the knowledge of nursing school, but I don't probably want to practice it. It might make you more of a hypochondriac. Of course.
Starting point is 00:55:59 Why? I don't want to be worried about what I have. It's going to make you more worried. Everyone's like no comfort i don't want to be like worried about what i have what's going to make you more worried oh really yeah it's like everyone's like oh the more you know no that's not a good thing because then you become like overly analytical like mean so like i have to always like tie it to something wrong i will not allow you to be a nurse why is that legal yeah i'm gonna kidnap you i'm gonna beat you with a slug and a banana annie for your birthday i got you something really special oh no it's gonna be something
Starting point is 00:56:30 goes in my ass it's not oh i wish i wish it was something like that like a close your eyes close your eyes close your eyes is it alive open your eyes and catch it. What is it? Oh, I know this symbol. It's the hot and juicy symbol of my favorite crab legs. I think that's enough crab legs. Oh! Oh! What? Oh!
Starting point is 00:56:59 Oh! Oh! That's going to get me like a pound and a half. Oh my God. I've never felt more rich in my life. How much crap do you think that'll buy? This will be, okay, if we get what we usually get, this will be three trips. This is very exciting.
Starting point is 00:57:19 This is probably going to be two trips, honestly, because we're going to shove it in. This is very exciting. That reaction. This is what i bought myself i bought myself more jordans oh those are cute i'm shaking this is the best present i've ever given me your presence is enough don't worry just closed your legs birthday day closed your legs that's we needed. Can we do a banana break? Wait, I want a tiara. Can we name it? I got a tiara for Annie for her birthday. Over her own face? He gets me. He knows it. Who loves this bitch more than me? Annie, wear your tiara.
Starting point is 00:58:05 Oh my God, it's our clay pictures. It never looked hotter than when Clayton photoshops us. The depression afterwards, though, is really real. What is that? Doesn't that seem like a trick, though? Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Annie. Happy birthday dear Annie.
Starting point is 00:58:28 Happy birthday dear Annie. Is this the joke that is filled with go-go for Esther? Oh it looks like two titties. It does look like boobies. One's a little bit bigger than the other. Oh that's accurate. Happy birthday to you. Oh it's so hard to make a wish when all my wishes came true. Oh it's so hard to make a wish when all my wishes came true.
Starting point is 00:58:44 Oh it's so hard to make a wish when all my wishes came true. Yay! Where is that from? It's like from the grocery store. It looks very decadent. That's like, no, that will like ruin my day. I need that alone in a corner. I've only seen someone buy this for you at you and make you eat it. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:59:05 Oh. This is your gift for Danny. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Do you guys know that Pete does all his own arts and crafts? Oh. See? It's all dressed.
Starting point is 00:59:19 He put the glue on the outside. Oh, my God. You guys are absolutely out of control. Those look like cubes, too. Put it on him. Back away. the glue on the outside oh my god you guys are absolutely out of those are like cubes too back away this is very beautiful unfortunately this is so beautiful unfortunately you have to wear it it looks so pretty unfortunately the we end the show forever you might be the birthday girl annie but she's the go-go queen. Wow.
Starting point is 00:59:48 Ooh. How are you guys' armpits so white? Whose? Your armpits. You said you were going to smell our BO and see if we had it. Gladly. Did you really mean what you said?
Starting point is 00:59:59 I don't back away from joy. Mine's starting to get hoagie-ish. It's already turning to hoagie. Oh, that's beautiful. Little clit rings. It's a fucking plain head. Do you want us to come to you or do you want to come here? Come to me.
Starting point is 01:00:12 Come to me. One at a time. Do your go-go queen walk. It would be this. It would be this. Stop. Oh, my God. You really are dressed like me.
Starting point is 01:00:23 Esther, come lower. Esther's passing out some boners today. Okay. It's a lot. Like, there's something there. You can't deny. You're really getting in. But I like it.
Starting point is 01:00:34 What does it smell like? It smells natural. Oh, mine's starting to... You can start to smell the hoagie underneath. I want to know how they compare. It's there. You smell it? I don't smell it.
Starting point is 01:00:43 Okay, so here's my analysis. Is that yours actually smells perfumey. But that's because I put the. I put the. But I don't smell any body odor. It's underneath. Esther, it's. There is a natural body odor, but it's very attractive.
Starting point is 01:01:00 Oh, your family's match. Your family's match. I like it. I like the smell. Yeah. Of course. It's because she's. She's attracted to Bobby. So me to bobby so me and bobby doesn't have any body odor zero i swear to you guys you can smell his armpit any time of day and there's just nothing do you want to smell mine
Starting point is 01:01:16 oh it doesn't smell like anything it's boring wait maybe there is and yours is perfumey it's just deodorant yours is musky but in a good way oh my god we're just so smell so beautiful we're just so hot deodorant? yeah I smell musk
Starting point is 01:01:32 I'm the only real lady Esther's the only real lady Esther's the only one that like watched Monster and looked up to her she's like that's what I want to look like Eileen Wuornos?
Starting point is 01:01:42 yeah I don't know why she wants to be so gross what is that? it's another gift. It's to give to Esther? No, it's a trio. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:01:50 This is George related, isn't it? What is it? The Highlight Maneuver. What is it? What is it? What is it? Remember when I choked on a chicken sandwich? They got me a chicken deluxe and the Highlight Maneuver.
Starting point is 01:02:03 It's so cold. I really would have enjoyed eating this is it fresh Pete no this is it's at least two hours oh two hours is not bad I would say two days I was going to throw up on site why does the heimlich girl
Starting point is 01:02:17 look like Esther although McDonald's isn't that the food where they did the experiment where if you leave the cheeseburger out for like 30 years it doesn't change I thought you'd say esther eats it really like it doesn't decay that is or maybe it's twinkies but i don't know oh it looks like it looks like esther's choking then kalilah cut her hair short and is helping her wait you're saying that mcdonald's is non-perishable you wouldn't eat it but there was like someone was selling it on eBay. Like someone had some kind of gross food that was so preserved that it just didn't change.
Starting point is 01:02:53 Can I guess who it was? Was it one of the people that cleaned her car out? My car is not the – we're searching for someone to take that job on. Well, thank you guys for listening to yet another week. Another wild ride. A wild ride. Was that your Southern? Wild ride.
Starting point is 01:03:11 It's a wild ride. Thank you guys for my birthday show. It was so fun. Happy birthday, Mr. Annie. Thank you so much, Miss Andrew, actually.
Starting point is 01:03:21 So to you. Please take a ton of pictures when you eat those crab legs oh my god are you kidding and send them to me do you want to come with me all different angles you could also have caught them for me i don't want to be rude but that's i can't i'm not a crab catcher i'm a lobster catcher well give me some lobsters by no it's not crabs you're a crab leg queen you're right i'm both slugs out there please like this video subscribe to this channel give us a review on itunes share it post it we will repost you we are really trying to get the word out there that we are the trashiest
Starting point is 01:03:52 fucking nastiest we are the most beautiful pigs but also kind of hot girls we'll see you guys next week bye you

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