Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Anthony Jeselnik Doesn't Want to Give Esther a Baby

Episode Date: August 2, 2022

Thank you to our Sponsors: BetterHelp - Get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at https://betterhelp.com/trashtuesdayLiquid Death - Get free shipping on all water and merch at https://liquiddeath.com/trash More Anthony JeselnikPodcast - The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-jeselnik-rosenthal-vanity-project/id1434904509Twitter: https://twitter.com/anthonyjeselnikInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/anthony_jeselnikWebsite: https://www.anthonyjeselnik.com Subscribe! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtonsOfficial Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8XTrash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday 0:00 Welcome Anthony Jeselnik!4:58 Khalyla’s K Hole8:08 Anthony Jeselnik Hallucinating & Jumping Off Bridges in Martha’s Vineyard15:58 School Dances 18:49 Anthony Jeselnik, President of Students Against Drunk Driving24:19 Esther’s Scandalous Video29:10 Anthony Jeselnik’s Teeth Grinding Problem33:23 Self Consciousness & Scarcity Mentality 36:10 Chris D’Elia Nose Job39:55 Anthony Jeselnik’s Experience with Esther & Norm Macdonald on Last Comic Standing46:44 Internet Comments & Annie is the Female Tony Hinchcliffe48:17 Khalyla & Bobby Lee Were Nervous to Have Anthony Jeselnik on TigerBelly50:30 How Anthony Jeselnik Confidently Says No to People59:15 Anthony Jeselnik’s Dog Instagram1:01:15 Esther’s Self Exploration in Comedy1:03:44 Theo Von on MTV’s The Challenge & Anthony Jeselnik’s Favorite Reality Shows Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491 Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Pete Forthun & Carlos Herrera Editor: Andres Rosende

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phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to it's much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours that's b-e-t-t-e-r-h-e-l-p.com slash trash tuesday this podcast is sponsored by better help and trash tuesday listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com slash trash tuesday i am so pleased to announce that our show is sponsored by liquid death listen to this is there a better sound you guys can get free shipping on all water and merch at liquid death dot com slash trash that's liquid death dot com slash trash or find liquid death at 7-eleven target albertson safeway or amazon um i have been having such a fun time on the road i love meeting

all of you guys it's like insane so much crazy things so many crazy things happening during the shows it's incredible you can see me august 12th through 13th in springfield missouri at the blue room comedy club it's going to be amazing i love that club you can then see me in september i'll be in pittsburgh tempe arizona la jolla comedy store i'll be at the caluso casino in california you guys that is going to be so fun party with me at a casino please god that is so fun. Then later dates, I'll be in Kansas City, Irvine, San Jose, Michigan, and Florida. And you can go to Annie Letterman dot com slash shows to get it. Also, please tune in to my Spotify live show every Monday at 5 p.m. PST, 8 p.m. Eastern. It's so fun. It's an interactive audio show where it's called Don't Bore Me

with Annie Letterman it's your chance to entertain me it's been so fun and I can't wait to talk to you on there hi you guys I am coming back on the road and you can get tickets at EstherOnIce.com I'm coming to DC, Austin, Phoenix Seattle and Portland

I'm very excited for these shows they're going to be really special and see you guys there. That's not a tattoo. That's. Imagine this was a tattoo. Like an intervention. Like anyone. The lip liner.

Yeah. Honestly, if you're going to put it on, you may as well just tattoo it on. It feels like a tattoo. I feel like I killed someone in juvie or something. It looks like my teardrop tattoo. That's a green flag for me when a guy has a teardrop tattoo. Oh, interesting. I've never heard it put that way.

It reminds you of your family. Lila has some murders in her family. Are you familiar with the term green flag? Like the opposite of a red flag? Okay. I understand. I mean, Esther, I honestly thought there was another explanation for it and that you weren't. That's good.

This is Esther explaining. It's when it's something everyone already knows. It's very simple and I get to feel smart for 0.2 seconds. Esther learned it on TikTok. A teardrop tattoo is a green flag for you. What did she say, Anthony? That I understand? No. tiktok so a teardrop tattoo is a green flag yeah wouldn't you say anthony that i understand that when you see someone with a teardrop tattoo that that is someone you actually want to engage with rather rather than run away from no if i saw a tear any face tattoo it's got to be that's a

choice but i don't know if i would i'm not like oh i'm attracted to that person because of the face tattoo well there's one specific face tattoo that means a lot, which is the teardrop. So that means you've murdered someone. It does? Yeah. Oh, my God. Esther's first day in school, guys. I don't think it always means you murdered someone.

It could be like your morning. I've heard people get it when someone close to them dies. Really? That's so confusing. Carlos, pull it up. I'm not a murderer. I'm just sad. As much as I don't want to reveal about myself

that I'm actually white trash or half white trash, my grandma has eyeliner tattooed onto her eyes. That's not the same. That's not white trash. That's also very Asian. Yeah, all Asian women have tattooed eyebrows. Like older Asian women. No, eyeliner. And eyeliner. That's just like a time saver. white trash that's also very asian yeah all asian women have tattooed eyebrows like older asian no eyeliner and eyeliner sorry and eyeliner that's just like a time saver it's not even really a tattoo yeah yeah i know esther's like i don't want to brag my family's so hardcore we're like

i don't want to waste time putting makeup on but i am like what does that say about my genetics that my grandma tattooed eyeliner like are we like hoes or something i think just lazy yeah honestly i would love for you to tattoo some fucking eyeliner on coming with something coming with something i'll pay for it honestly i'll pay for your whole i want you to get um tattoo contour oh that's esther do you want to introduce our guys so today we have anthony jeselnik welcome to our show thank you for having me me. Big fans of the Jeselnik Rosenthal Vanity Project. Jeselnik and Rosenthal Vanity Project, JRVP. You sound like a big fan.

I really am. Carlos and I listen to it. Carlos got me into it because he's secretly a super fan. Yeah. I give her updates. Cool. On the way to san diego yesterday um bobby and i was getting ketamine assisted psychotherapy for the very first time um but give her enough we

he we listened to you on the whole way over there oh cool yeah and then not on the way back after the ketamine she was like i can't handle this it much. Well, it was you and then Brian Eno and then ketamine. So how do you feel, Kalilah? You're still attracted to murder, so it hasn't changed you that much. I'm still buffering. I don't even drink coffee, and I did ketamine yesterday, and I was slammed into a K-hole. I don't know if you guys know what that is.

How boy do I? It was, I don't want to call it bad or good, but I was fucking frightened. I thought I was dying. So I'm going to leave it at that. I'm so excited. But is it helpful? Like ketamine is one of those drugs I don't even understand what it is or what it does. So ketamine is a dissociative drug.

So when it enters your system, you're kind of detached. Like it almost feels like it's an out-of-body experience. You feel, you don't feel any pain. your system you're kind of detached like it almost feels like it's an out-of-body experience you feel you don't feel any pain i wouldn't call it a full like hallucinogenic because it's not like when people like see things when they're on mushrooms and they're euphoric it's more like uh for me it was going it was when they say k-hole i was in the. I was seeing cave after cave after mossy cave. And I thought I was dying. And was she asking you like, and then the doctor touched you here?

I couldn't speak. Was she asking you things though? No, I didn't even have a single linear thought. I just had so much feelings. And I was crying and I was clutching her for 90 minutes. You were clutching her? So it's like, I'm going to get into clutching her? Are you lying on a table? Yeah, it's like a moon pod.

You put your little eye mask on and then the music. And I started off with high hopes just like this. And very soon I was in a fetal position like clutching the therapist. But there's a doctor there as well um for the whole 90 minutes he was an er doctor so i felt like oh this is a safe experience but even then i thought i was dying whoa was it fun yeah does it sound fun like when it's over do you feel better is it like almost like doing mushrooms when it's done you feel kind of like a weight is taken off you. It feels, I don't know yet. Like I'm still buffering.

But the reason that I chose ketamine is because of its anti-anxiety and anti-depressive properties. And they say like those can last up to a whole year. Wait, you guys, that's so interesting. Like you're not on antidepressants? No. You do seem like a candidate. Is that okay to say? It's because you do stand up.

That's the darkness you unleash. Yeah. People always think that that's like a sign of something that people flat out ask if I'm a psychopath, but no. You have a good kind of like dead face too. Poker face. Yeah. Resting bitch face.

Are you good at, are you good at poker? No, i get bored so i just go all in really quickly that's what i would do too let's either end this or me get out of here oh my god wait have you ever done like a psychedelic or anything like that yeah i've done uh mushrooms i did acid a couple times i was other martha's vineyard for a summer and someone got acid. We trusted it. And like every couple of days, we would do like a hit or two

and like run around, jump off bridges and shit. It was fun. But at the end, I was like, I don't know if I would trust it again, but I enjoyed it. Yeah, the bridge would probably be the part I wouldn't trust.

Yeah. A lot of people were doing that who even weren't on drugs. And it was really fun in the middle of the night. But every couple of years, I'll do it. Every couple of years, I'll do mushrooms mushrooms someone described it as cleaning your windshield yeah that's why i wonder like if ketamine's like that that it's like you feel like you're just you got your car washed and you kind of have a burden lifted off of you that mushrooms can be like that

but it's been years since i've done this sometimes mushrooms don't do that for me though it's like i either do too much or too little sometimes where it's like I just get uncomfortable. Or I'm like you kind of like start thinking about the fact that everyone around you is going to die and you're going to die and stuff. And then you don't really go into it. And then you're just stuck with the creepy feeling of it. Has anyone watched that show on Netflix that just came out with Michael Pollan, How to Change Your Mind? Yeah, I've been watching it. With Emescaline, Psilocybin, all of that. Yeah, LSD.

It's just gotten me very curious about, like, these kinds of experiences because they talk about how, like, what you're saying, like, it just frees up your brain and opens you up and, like, clears you out. Well, if you think about, like, anxiety, right? Think of how much of your time

before you were on meds and stuff was just, like, spinning, spinning, spinning when there's's like, what else could you be doing if you weren't worried about like, whatever. For me, the ketamine was now in retrospect, the correct drug of choice, because it made me realize that like, I have no sense of retreat or surrender. I tried to fight out of this experience the whole time there was no minute of like, I have no sense of retreat or surrender. I tried to fight out of this experience the whole time there was no minute of like, relax and let go. And that says a lot about who I am, there is absolutely no surrender and who I am. And on top of that, I've never felt a single minute of safety in my life. So like, those are the two downloads i've had those seem to go together

so it hasn't been an easy thing like i was everyone was like you're gonna love it i came out of there like what the fuck were they talking but don't you think you went in with an expectation and that's what you're worried about instead of just because it's still working on you you know it's still working on you you look younger the expectation was i'm gonna need healing around this breakup and self-love no it did not go there and they were like you're gonna get shot up into space it shot me straight down to hell that's what it did it's so funny to me that you would want me on this podcast that you like stepped out of academy and you were like i hope anthony's here

i feel like you're the first thing i want to see when i get out of my pod. You know, but when we talked outside, like, yes, it does. I really, really am happy you're here today. Yeah, I think you're the correct person to be in front of me after being in a K-hole that long. When you got out of the pod, was it like Bobby and Jules were just right there? They came. You know, when I got out of the pod, the first thing they handed me was a banana and I was happy. Oh, thank you. Thank you for this banana break.

But I had a question for you. What do people do in Martha's Vineyard? Besides acid. There were like two classes of people. It's like people who are there to work, which I was one of. People who work in the restaurant service industry. And then people who are there on vacation. And then there's people who live there, which is like a different kind of class of people.

But I was 20 years old, so I couldn't go to bars. So I was kind of just stuck doing what the people who weren't going to bars were doing, which was a lot of weed and just hanging out, barbecuing. And someone got acid, great. But it was just a really fun, kind of hippie-ish time. Were you a good waiter? I worked in the kitchen. My friends were waiters, and they made so much more money.

Yeah. But I just got to hang out. I worked on the cold line at the seafood shanty yeah it was it was a really fun a really fun so yeah I can't believe you're just like yeah I did like acid and jumped off bridges I'm like I don't know what to say to someone who tells like that's so scary it was a separate a very high bridge it was like you just jumped right into the water and then swam to the shore and did it again but there were like kids doing it you know 20 feet away from us okay does that change your i still wouldn't have done it

but i'm just like wow if a kid taller than you came and did it would you be and that that would not change no my niece is taller than me i see but do you think remember yesterday when you were like i realized that it feels or last week sorry uh that it feels good to do something that you were scared of totally do you think maybe bridge jumping's in your future no it's too far what's the most acid i was gonna say what about acid in your future is acid and lsd the same thing yes it is based on like the science that they talk about in that show like maybe i would i liked acid more than mushrooms mushrooms kind of make you sick like it is a poison a natural poison whereas acid you kind of get the trip but you don't feel that like that nauseousness that you feel on

mushrooms did you have like the thing that they were talking about in this documentary where like everything is like melting and like did you have that psychedelic experience a little bit but it was i didn't take that much so it was more just like you have had this burst of energy and things were fun but faces would get weird uh you would stare at the ocean for a long time i remember at the i took my first time i ever took it i took a hit of acid i got off work early earlier than my other friends it was me and this other guy took a hit of acid we're having fun and then when my friends got off work at night i took another one thinking it was like beer like i'll have another one and i'll keep going but i had a different trip than everyone else and so i was kind of like really

tired and just a little out of it and my other friends were just like laughing and having fun and i'm like waiting for this trip to end and we go to this diner the uh the black dog diner i think it was called it's like the famous people see sweatshirts all the time i think that's what it's called yeah and i'm like i think i'm finally done tripping i'm sitting in a booth with my two friends and this woman behind me this old woman sitting by herself i just kind of out of the corner of my eye see her and she goes to take a bite of a bagel and it looked like her jaw unhinged and i was like so freaked out i was like nope still looking at old people when you're tripping is really hard i remember my we some girl when i used to live in santa fe some girl gave me like a pill bottle filled with mushroom shake like it

was just like little pieces of it so i don't know why i thought if it's chopped up it's not going to be anything oh my god so my friends and i are at my friend and her mom were going to meet us it was me and my two friends and we sprinkled it over our pizza at this bar and i mean the whole thing we're just like whatever we're eating the pizza my friend shows up with her mom and we lost our fucking minds. Like her mom sat down. Her mom was like an older mom. She had already had wrinkles. And my friend just went, your face is made of ropes. And it was like, we got to go.

We got to get the fuck out of here. I feel like I was always like the person I was always trying to like if the cop showed up to a party, I was always the one like trying to manage it. Yeah. Trying to make the parents think everything was fine. I'm just curious. Like, do you because the way that they make LSD sound on this show is that like it opens your mind you are such a dork what do you mean that you just watched this this is the first time you're learning about it you're calling it lsd everything you're doing is so is it is she esther's esther's

graduated fifth grade guys we should have like a sixth grade dance for you she just started smoking weed this year we're proud of her it is good i'm happy for you i love a sixth grade dance at the comedy store i would love that who no one would dance it's just you and benji i make carlos dance with me but he has to like go away from a girl he likes anthony how were you at school dances? Would you dance or would you kind of be in the corner? I was like everybody else where it was like guys on one side, girls on the other. And then the last song, the last slow song we played, everyone would dance.

And you'd be like, oh, it's over? It's like you've had hours to do anything. And then you'd go home. Yeah, everyone. Why does that happen? Fuck. Because you're building up. You're finally getting there. I think you warm up. Yeah, everyone. Why does that happen? Fuck. Because you're building up. You're finally getting there.

I think you warm up. You see everyone doing it. And by the time you actually get the courage to get out there, it's done. I know. And it's like you're at the most insecure time of your life when you're afraid of people looking at you. And this is the one dance where everyone is fucking looking at you. Like if no one's dancing yet, it's like, they're going to be stunned. Did you guys have this?

I've heard this is a common experience about senior year of high school, that, like, at the very last few weeks of it, you start to, like, get to know your classmates better than you ever would have. Yeah, I did that. Like, I remember the last few weeks of high school, like, having real conversations with people who i never really well is that is that because everyone's signing each other's yearbooks and like you're passing that around no i think it's you're like oh i'm never really gonna see this person again i might as well be

like hey like you took them for granted all right it's just like two people that never we were in the same class but we never like made the effort i don't know no one where did you go to high school what was that like for you i went to a public public school in the suburb of Pittsburgh called Upper St. Clair. And it was like a graduating class of 300. And I went to that school from like first grade through high school. Oh, so you've known people. So first grade through high school. So that's a K to 12.

So you know kids from kindergarten that went through the whole thing? First grade, yeah. I had that too. Oh, oh wow what's that like ask him it didn't seem weird you just you were used to it that the other way would have been weird and people would like the catholic school would come into our school for high school yeah um but it was it was normal when you get to have all the anal get to bang them on the butt. It is. Like, I always think about that with, like, the comedian Lisa Trager, who does stand-up. But, like, I do think, like, we were on the same school bus. That's so weird.

Together. Like, to an elementary school. Wait, you were? Yeah. But I feel like you sat up front to talk to the driver to make sure everything was safe. Well, I was always, no. And she was, like, smoking weed in the back. I did always feel like the driver wanted to fuck me. I know that's so was always, no. She was, like, smoking weed in the back. I do always, I did always feel like the driver wanted to fuck me.

I know that's so weird to say, and I was, like, 10. That's the least weird thing you've ever said. You definitely did. But, yeah, no, like, just, it is, it's a different experience when you've known someone since they were a little kid. Yeah. I don't know. Do you still talk to the bus driver? We text. She's like, finally, someone's trying to fuck you a little kid yeah I don't know do you still talk to the bus driver

we text she's like finally someone's trying to fuck me can't let him go did you go to prom mm-hmm yeah yeah

went to prom it was fun I was the students against drunk driving class president oh my god yes

excuse me what were you why how did that happen because i i was like kind of panicked about getting into college because i i fucked around all through high school and everyone's like you're gonna regret this when it comes time to apply to schools so senior year i was like well now i've got to like do it all and the only club like i tried to join all the clubs but the only club that had its election senior like at the beginning of the year instead of like the end of

the previous year was sad. And so I had all my friends, my sisters were in high school with me, and I had them bring all their friends to the meeting and everyone's going to vote for me. And there's three people running. And one guy gets up and he's like, I think I'd be a good president. Everyone's like, yeah, we don't even know who you are. And then a girl gets up and starts crying talking about one of her family members getting killed by a drunk driver

she really wants to change it and then I stood up and I'm like so I've I've been gone drinking and driving before it's like you know

so I know what it's like and I can help I think that way and everyone's in shock but I won by a landslide because I had stacked the audience and so my friends gave me a flask

that said Upper St. Clair sad president I have a question you're obviously upper sinclair that's sad president i have a question um you're obviously a very handsome man that's pretty privileged oh my god somebody's saying um it's pretty privileged apply this pretty privilege apply there like you know pretty privilege with girls and stuff esther don't look at me like this is a fucking term i just made up well it just became she just got pretty.

I'm honestly just thinking that that was more like his origin story for how he became a comedian. Because it's like someone went up and had this like tragic story. And then you were like, eh. Fuck it. And that feels like how your jokes are, right? Kind of. I mean, I'd already planned my speech for the sad president thing that I was like i don't know how to ad lib this you know and i i was committed um it was just kind of a funny story at the time but uh um so for prom i had to be uh i had to be i couldn't

i wasn't supposed to drink at prom everyone was kind of looking at me and uh and then after prom they had this thing called after prom so instead of kids going off and getting wasted in a cabin somewhere they had a thing that was at school where everyone oh dave and busters where all the students went and if you were on student council you had to go to it where you couldn't graduate and my girlfriend was on student council so i had to go and we drank we put um vodka and gatorade bottles and pounded right before we went in and we'd all been up for days because it's like the end of school you you're just having fun with your friends. And so I just went to sleep on a table

and the parents thought I was like passed out drunk, which I kind of was, but I was also very tired. And they picked me up and carried me around and made me walk in a circle for hours of after prom. Like I'm just like stumped, I don't barely remember. And he never let anyone have control over him again. I was angry about that. control over him again. I was angry about that.

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So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. And it's much more affordable than in-person therapy. And you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours from right now. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and Trash Tuesday listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com slash trash Tuesday. After years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers, if we've've learned anything it's that there's always a catch so when

i heard that for a limited time all mint mobile wireless plans are 15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan i thought where's the catch but after talking to them it all made sense there isn't one mint mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online they don't have retail stores or sales people instead they deliver premium phone plans directly to you. As you guys know, our friend Rick Glassman, he uses Mint Mobile. I learned about Mint Mobile through George Kimmel. George is a busy guy. He takes the most business calls and the fact that not a single call is ever dropped. And you can use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts. Say goodbye to your overpriced wireless plans. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you

with plans starting at 15 bucks a month and all plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. That is such a steal. To get this new customer offer and your new three month unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile. com slash tuesday cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mint mobile dot com slash tuesday 45 upfront payment required equivalent to 15 a month new customers on first three month plan only speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan additional taxes fees and restrictions apply see mint mobile for details. As president of Students Against Drunk Driving, what do you organize? What do you do? I mean, I wasn't there very long. I didn't go to a lot

of meetings. And they wanted to do lock-ins, so they called it, where you would go to the high school and they'd have bands play, like high school bands would play, and kids would come. So it was like, keep kids off the streets and off, away from drinking and just hang out. But I don't know if we ever did it. I was really traumatized at our lock-in. Have I ever told you guys this?

What is a lock-in? Oh my God. Can I just, wait. Esther, all she wants is sleepovers. She's so full of shit. She wants people

to invite her to things that she can say no to is what it is. Because let me know, you finally got your school sleepover. What happened? No, it's so bad. Okay. Why did I? did i oh just be yourself okay so basically what happened was

is have i ever told you guys about the sex tape i made in high school right yes okay so well maybe you haven't told it was with the bus driver anthony he wishes listen bus driver okay so just like the bus driver that got away that drove away the one that drove away so my freshman year of high school

before school started there was like a a football game and I was on you know palms and so only freshman year um and I went to the football what is the vikettes I was on vikeden we had different high school experiences so I met these two girls at a football game and like we just met and one of us I don't really remember who said it but was like we should have a sleepover and like we just met and one of us i don't really remember who said it but was

like we should have a sleepover and like so we asked our parents and we got to have a sleepover and then like that's like the night where like we made this like sex tape whatever i don't need to get into it's with two girls with a sex tape yeah this is the first one not the second one surprised at that annie remember there are multiple sex tapes. Oh, that first one. It's just so sad how hard you tried to be like hot. How hard I tried to be hot. I just didn't want to. But so anyways,

so I really didn't mean to do this. Okay, so anyways, sex tape happens. The next day happens to be the lock-in. I feel like you skipped a step. So we just sleep over. Sex tape happens. Yeah, what's going on?

So the three of you what we have to say that for another time i i it's child porn you guys are this is i'm into it that's his thing that's why we invited him but anyways what happens is at the lock-in i'm like oh my god like we just all did this like we're fucking so close now they didn't hang out with me at the lock-in it was really traumatic and were you pounding on the door let me out why do you cry why do you think what what what move do you do you did you run it back in your head like what did i do wrong i think they had like more friends at the lock-in that they were excited about like to them like the sleepover sex tape and it was just like another night what happened in the sex tape esther you were used i was used

i understand you so much better now wait esther no no no what happened with the how did it start who fingered who is the question this isn't like we didn't have iphones back in the day it's like you had to get like a no yeah there was there was a camcorder. She pulled out a camcorder. She did I don't want to and this is getting too traumatic Anthony our co-worker is here at the comedy store What are your thoughts? She's a bad storyteller You introduced you like did I ever tell you guys about the sex tape well I'm gonna leave out the sex tape, but tell you the rest of it the rejection around it because that's all that matters to her it's true she's in it for the beating after yeah for them did you make your

mom mommy come pick you up you were like mommy i made a sexy tape with them and now they don't like me do you think maybe it was like they didn't like what they saw once they saw you naked they're like not as good as i thought yikes i want to go home did you have a big bush then too oh my god annie but did you no it wasn't that bad then do you know bobby said he didn't get his first pube until he was 16 until he was 50 and then it fell off but then he he felt very attached to it so he saved it escaped it was trying to get away from bobby so he saved it and then i guess his mom accidentally vacuumed it and he was really upset about it because that was the only like that was his only evidence of like you know manhood finally like setting in that was the story he's gonna be

well i'm gonna tell you he's gonna be real upset when someone vacuums you up you're about to get a vacuum girl i love that you guys had like high school it's so fun i was it was recently brought to my attention because it's only building what's going on out there about us it's only growing um someone sent me a link to a clip there's like these two guys that like make fun of stuff and they refer to me casually as the girl that does nothing i was like dave dave come in here you have to hear what they're calling me the girl who does nothing and he's like why are you happy about that because finally people get your brand i know i was like this is so cute i love it did you want us to do like games or something i just thought there would be some sort of structure or a plan you've never watched a full

episode that's why the clips are good i don't watch any podcasts no i honestly wouldn't expect it i think it would be weird if we're like now now Anthony, you are a teeth grinder? Yes. You are. Did you ever hit up Mary Lou? Not yet, not yet. She'll get you. Do you grind in your sleep or just constantly? In my sleep. I can't relax and sleep unless my teeth are completely clenched.

What? It's sore. I get Botox in my jaw every three months. I've got like these, I've got two, what do you call them? Mouth guards. Mouth guards guards so they're like i don't i keep them forever because they like they rub together so i don't uh i don't bite down too hard but if i went to sleep without them i would wake up in pain that's what happened i fell asleep without mine last night i smoked too much weed and i fell asleep without my mouth guarded and my jaw is so fucking sore today i have a question when you do i did the botox and jaw because my

tmj got really bad last year And I was like, oh, I'll just try this but it completely changed the way I smiled like my I had a limit to how my smile Yeah, it would stop right here And I couldn't smile fully so I never got it again, but it worked with the pain I noticed the smile is the same for me But my jaw it changed the shape of my jaw because it's from grinding so much these muscles got bigger and the botox took them down but since i have the beard it wasn't that noticeable my face looks thinner but do you do you wish you still had the stronger

jaw no no wait so the botox actually works it helps it's like it doesn't nothing stops it i was looking for that magic thing like i've gotten these crazy massages and all kinds of different stuff to try to take it away but it just kind of mitigates it you know i work out almost every day just to stretch and try to take this like the tension out because it goes all the way through my body yeah but it's like whatever the whatever you're like subconscious is gnawing at is the thing it's like something subconsciously that you're i think it's muscle memory like i used to do it when i was younger but it would like i would go on and off do you remember when you started doing it was like was there any event in your life that happened i remember i would do it like in college you know

people would say like oh you're in your sleep you're you're grinding your teeth a little bit but it didn't i didn't feel it and then i got to the point after college that i got a mouth guard and then i just stopped i would the mouth guard would fall out in my sleep because i wasn't doing it and then right before i did the donald trump mouth guard would fall out in my sleep because I wasn't doing it. And then right before I did the Donald Trump roast, when I got found out, I was going to do that. I was like, this is my big break.

I started doing it a lot and I thought, okay, well let me get a mouth guard now. And then after it, it'll go away. And then after the Trump roast, when all the stress was gone, I kept doing it.

Yeah. And I've done it every day since it's been like 13, 14 years now. You got, I do it every, every night. I have a Trump mandinorial joint problem. Cause it's from like 13, 14 years now. You got, I do it every, every night. Trump men, denorial joint problem. Cause it's from Trump TMJ.

Okay. Funny. No, I think it's like muscle memory now. And like my teeth are so I've ground them down so much that I, I feel like I'm trying to fit them together, you know, to what my teeth used to be. So I don't know. I don't know what'll happen, but it's like, it's the pebble in my shoe.

It sucks. Yeah. I know. I can't stand it. Yeah. You get the like inside mass it's the pebble in my shoe. It sucks. Yeah. I know. I can't stand it. Yeah. You get like inside massages where they like go in. It hurts like hell. Yeah.

I love that. No one puts on some gloves and puts their fucking hands in my mouth. I'm like, where else do you like when they put their hands? Butt. In your butt? Have you guys ever done salvia? I never did,

but those videos of salvia are the most disgusting things I've ever seen. Why? A friend had me do it. It's like you take it, you hit it like it's weed and then you like go to another planet for like 30 seconds. It's not long.

But you look like shit while you're on the other planet. You look like shit where I came out of it and I felt great. I was like, oh my God, this is like, it was like cleaning your windshield.

Yeah. And I was like, maybe I'd try it again and then I watched a video of someone on it and I was like, I'll never do this again. Wait, why?

What do you mean you look like shit? You're like drooling. Like you look like, pull up a video. I was like, I'll never do this again. Wait, why? What do you mean you look like shit, Zalman? You're like drool. Like you look like pull it. Yeah, pull up a video. It's like it's dark. It's dark. You're gone. But I've done ayahuasca and everyone's always like worried about other people looking at you.

You're not like it's not. You're there, but you're not like seeing it. And then the the guides take a little ayahuasca too. So there's never like a sober person. Honestly, it's like you look sober person. It's like, you look like shit. How long does the trip last? It seems like it's,

it's one of those, like you feel like you're in a dream, but it's, it's literally like 45, maybe a minute, 45 seconds a minute. But, uh,

I never did it again. You should try. You never did it again. How did you stop yourself from doing it again? I mean, it's, it's not that pleasant. You don't feel like I need,

I need, want to do this now. It's more experienced than like a, it's not that pleasant. You don't feel like I want to do this now. It's more an experience than like a, it's not like getting high where you're just like, I want to get high and watch a movie. It was kind of tough that I did it once. A friend brought it over. And I remember coming out of the trip, my friend with a huge smile on her face, just like,

and I was like, oh, you just watched me be real weird. Yeah, but maybe that's what you need to break is that self-consciousness. Maybe that's the thing that would release you. I like my self-consciousness. I feel like more people should be self-conscious. Yes. Except I agree with that. But also like Duncan Trussell posted the best meme once.

And it was like, you know, it was like, you know, like a spiritual being speaking to like an audience. And it said, once I realized I was cringe, I was free of being cringe or something. Like there is something where it's like when you're so conscious of what's cringe. I think that you could totally go too far with self-consciousness. There's no doubt about that. But I do think there's like a. Reign it in a little. good amount i like that i've never heard like a pro self-conscious take but i'm actually like yeah that's not a bad thing yeah people are looking at us i mean we are people that people we stand and people look at us so it's not well that there's also that that's true but like well sometimes when est's on stage, people are...

People are not looking. They're like, where is she? I hear someone. They see Brad Williams walk past you taller than you. Oh, Brad. How pissed would Brad be if they passed another little person? At the store?

Can you imagine? It would be a rivalry. It be fun i would love it and put it right like start giving them like the brad spots and just put brad a little later you see what happens just a little like two people later oh that's what they did with asians for so long the scarcity mentality that's why we that's why asian bobby is who he is it's because that's why he wanted and that fan and all these guys because the scarcity mentality it's like there can only be one of us guess i gotta fight you to the death you know so i guess they do that with like female comics a little bit i never definitely i never looked the

same as any of them it never like felt the same like i was like next to you i had a female asian comic open for me in vancouver and she was great and i was like oh like what are you like you're so funny what are you gonna do and she's like nothing like my career is over Ali Wong blew up and it's over for me and I was like that's a weird way to think about it she's like no it's it's how it is I gotta find something else to do yeah she's wrong that's wrong that scarcity mentality

actually winning is it wait I think I might know her was it was she um does she have kids no no this girl actually wasn't and you know what this girl actually wasn't. And you know what? This girl actually wasn't. She never seemed like she could. Like, I remember talking to her. She's like, no, it's just fine.

I just like to do these gigs here and there. I'm like, really? I can't imagine doing comedy, like, casually. Yeah. It seems so weird. Someone could literally take my name and, like, get plastic surgery to look like me and, like, become, I would never stop. Did you guys see the plastic surgery in the comedy community this week?

No. No. This is hot goss. like become i would never stop did you guys see the plastic surgery in the comedy community this week no no uh chris delia got a nose job shut up shut up what how is that possible what are you talking about how do you know this todd told me was it to look like me is did i manifest i don't know if they can put that much more on his nose to make him. Wait, wait. He got, like he said, it was deviated septum, but it's a little, it's still swollen. Why would you get married and then get a nose job? I don't know. Why do you think? Why do you think?

Like. Deviated. It's his deviated septum. I would believe it's deviated septum because he's on a podcast. I think if you got a nose job, you would hide it a little better. Not in L.A. I feel like everyone almost like sports that thing around. Like, look, I yeah, L.A. is such a weird place.

Like everywhere I go, there's always someone with those bandages under their nose. But in comedy, I don't know. Do you remember giving like your first blow jobs and like you you tried to like not make sound? I remember trying to be like so self-conscious, like may as well been at a school dance because I was um no but like I just couldn't like I didn't want to make any sound I like wanted to be like really like chill about it it just ended up being like I was like and my fork but just trying and then I like watched porn and I was like oh I went the opposite direction you're supposed to

pretend to choke have you ever puked on a dick Esther no I haven't but I'm not really a thrower upper in general you're a constipation girl. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm... Sorry. It felt like a anal joke. I know. Just getting packed up there. This does have like a sleepover vibe to it that I feel like I'm like peeking in a door. We love you. Yeah.

It's time to chat about liquid death. You know, why is it called liquid death? Because it's death to plastic, Esther. And 10% of the profits from every can sold are donated to help kill plastic pollution. You guys, water in aluminum cans is the future. It tastes delicious. And liquid death has three new flavors. Esther has a severed lime. Annie has the, what's it called? Mango. Mango. Chainsaw. It tastes delicious. And Liquid Death has three new flavors. Esther has a severed lime

and he has the, what's it called? Mango chainsaw. Mango chainsaw. I have the buried alive. I love the lime so much. I don't drink. You don't drink, right? Do any of us drink? No. Hardly. So it's like we get to look cool at parties and still stay hydrated. We're drinking beer. Also, I make mocktails

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makes me drink more water and then that makes me prettier should i put myself in a fucking can so you do what i want guys it makes you pretty to hydrate so get on it liquid death water and aluminum death to plastic do it today get free shipping on all water and merch at liquid death dot com slash trash that's liquid death dot com slash trash or you can find liquid death at 7-eleven target albertson safeway or amazon but liquid death dot com slash trash after years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers if we've learned anything it's that there's always a catch so when i heard that for a limited time all mint mobile wireless plans are 15 a month when you purchase a three-month

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Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details marin gave me advice when i met him and he was like i met him like the first week i was doing comedy at the comedy store and he was just like get out of here don't come here he was like go to ucb he's like get away from the comedy store oh my god that's so funny he got me passed he was like you want an audition he told me to leave yeah people hang out at the store too early they hang out at clubs it's like you're not gonna like you don't want to be known as the person who hangs out you want to be the funny person yeah they can't wait to get in yeah that uh that's not bad advice so maybe you should go to ucb no he gave me good

advice because at the time the store was literally garbage and like so shitty and no one should have been there and the ucb was like the coolest place to be but i just was had a darkness and look at that now look at where it is now it's nowhere right isn't used to be completely closed yeah i think they're opening it back up i don't know it's not gonna be the same i forget who bought it well you look at those people too and those people are still doing well in acting and stuff like the sort of more ucb comics i feel like but a lot of people that i thought were going to be like the big comics are like no more i remember that was the first time i met you was at the comedy cellar i met you

doing your podcast do you remember the first time we met i'm hoping you don't remember oh no the first time i remember meeting you i'm really hoping last comic standing oh with norm i don't remember that were you a judge i know i was the host oh the host it was like the first night and i'm like and i realize it's a mistake almost immediately and i've done this and I'm pissed I'm in a bad mood and they're like well you we want you to go in and talk to the comics you know it's like there was like four nights of like the preliminaries where it's like these people now go on and it becomes a competition but I come in and talk to a room full of people and I'm already mad I'm doing it I'm mad I got to do this I've got like I'm trying to remember my lines in the script and I'm like I walk

in and I have no plan to what I'm going to say to everyone so I'm kind of just like guys don't shake my hand on stage like I'm just like I'm almost like yelling at people and I walk in angry nervous and Esther goes she's sitting on like in a chair on the floor next to me and she goes and I'm like any questions and Esther goes Anthony will you get me pregnant oh used to be so funny and i wanted to happen to that esther what happened to the little rape joke esther why did you want to kill me wait that's so oh my god i can't believe i said i was just mad that anyone would even talk to me i was just i was so mad i was there and anyone trying to joke around with me i was pissed i don't remember saying that

so that's at least but we can all see it oh 100 i'm sure i i wouldn't say it i'm like of course i did that i remember i will say this like because it's so easy to have to be cheesy in that role of being the host and i do you never were like cheesy or betrayed yourself like you were very like you were cool it was you you were in character as yourself like you stayed true to yourself so at least I have that to say I remember I was that was when I first met Miss Pat and she was like she was like talking about how she wanted to beat the shit out of me she was like if you were my child and telling me like how she wanted to hit me and i was like thank you miss pat um but do you remember the what happened with norm mcdonald how he was like really nasty to me he was nasty to a lot of people okay i mean do you like norm and i would

fight oh fight on camera really and after every episode we would meet up and we'd be like well it's gonna be great television because it was like they're like you guys need to talk this out because he would be so mean and the audience was like what and so i would come and come back at norm try to get the audience back and then he was getting mad about me coming back at him none of the judges were used thought the host was going to be mean to them yeah and so i was like i'm on the comic side yeah i'm going to be mean to you and it was just it was so uncomfortable the whole thing well that was what that was why i felt so tricked because the producers were like hey we're doing this differently it's not like simon cowell

vibes like it's going everyone's a comic here we're gonna be really it's all positive constructive so everyone was going in like we're not expecting a fight and then when norm would like suddenly say rude shit i reacted honestly in the moment i was like i'm not taking this so yeah that is my memory but you guys fought a lot yeah did he lose that fight too um well i would i took the job because i wanted to work with norm so they were like norm's not happy with you and i'm like i'm not happy with him i don't know what's going on here it was so he was so he's a little bit like but in a weird way wasn't he always like you couldn't tell if he was doing a bit or not that's how I always felt when I I mean it didn't make sense it wasn't a bit it was like he was pontificating about things and female

comics especially got it got it yeah and and it didn't make he would love someone and hate someone else and didn't make there was no rhyme or reason that it was just awkward and, he would love someone and hate someone else, and it didn't make, there was no rhyme or reason, that it was just awkward and weird, and he would go on for a long time. And I felt like I had to kind of, not roast him, but I had to kind of take control of the show. Otherwise, it was like the norm hour, and Roseanne and Keenan were like, what's he doing?

Like, what's Norm talking about? But it was real weird. When Roseanne's going, is this guy crazy? You know there's an issue. I remember he said something like calling me like the biggest disappointment of his night and i was like that's so daddy it's like why are you like i can't disappoint you i know i think i said something like you're my dad's favorite comic or like i don't know it was just so awkward it was so weird and then afterwards i was freaking out oh i had to comfort like there were people crying afterwards and i'd

be like don't let them see you cry like fuck the last comic standing like i'm the best comic in three a three mile radius and i wouldn't make it three minutes on the show like why was anyone upset i was just i hated the process i know you are nice to comics yeah but for the most part yeah uh there was one girl i remember this girl got introduced by her father like i introduced everyone but there's one that like her dad's here they were like an indian family and the dad came out with a heavy accent was like i'm so proud my daughter and she walks out in like a really nice dress does three minutes and then norm says i go norm what do you think and norm goes what the hell's going on here i was told i'd be here to judge the hundred funniest people in the country i don't

think you're one of the hundred funniest people in this room and i i lost it so hard i thought it was the funniest thing i've ever heard like her dad's right there he knows it is so funny to be mean to someone in front of their parents it's actually nice it's like they'll fix this he could be funny and if it was funny great but there were a lot of times he wasn't being funny it was just like why are you being so mean to this like hack? Comic who you can just dismiss and be like, yeah, not my thing, you know, he always said he didn't like female comedians, right? Didn't he say he didn't think women are funny? Yeah, that is so fucking annoying Yeah, he had some he had some opinions that

How are we doing this? Yes, it's banana break time. Are you a banana fan? I mean sure like How are we doing this? Yes, it's banana break time. Are you a banana fan? I mean, sure. Like I'm a fan. I'm a fan. Well, are you a comment reader? Or it just was there were so many comments that you can't, I mean, you can't ignore it when you're getting like inundated. I read them.

I peruse them because they all become the same. All the negative ones are the same. All the negative ones are the same. All the positive ones are the same. But occasionally there's one that's like my parents' address. And I'm like, let me take that one down. But I see things. I'm aware of what's going on. But yeah, they all are.

They're all the same. Yeah. Speaking of comments, there's, I saw on Reddit, I'll occasionally glance this one. Oh, that's a real cutting moment this one really caught my eye but there's someone on reddit who is saying who's comparing you to tony hinchcliffe and i'm like is there something is there something there like they're calling me skinny because i'm like i don't know if you know this fact about me but i dated tony a long long time he already said he regretted coming on the show you're giving him more reason but i'm

like is there something like are you is there something about me being drawn to you and tony that i mean what how could i be like tony in what way could i be like Tony Hinchcliffe in what way could I be like Tony that I'm attracted to you oh I just started saying c word I love Asians when I first met you I think I think Bobby and I must have been pacing around the house for a good like hour before just because he like builds these things in my head where he's like, you know, he's this way and he's that way and he's this way. And you couldn't have been more different than what he... What did he say?

You know, like Bobby has like a healthy fear of people with principle. Like, and you are a person who is like principled, like things like, you know, you you you're in comedy. It's the wild, wild west. And there are a few people who really sort of like know who they are. And you're like, you know what? There is right from wrong. I'm not going to play this fucking wild, wild west game.

And he views you as that because he plays in the wild, wild west. So he kind of felt like, oh, God, like I'm going to get a talking to basically. But he did. He got you. you were that was you were the one that brought up the megan gailey the megan gailey stuff yeah i didn't know i didn't know that what i was i brought her up and i forgot about that they had any kind of issue at all yeah but that worked out because megan came on our show and then bobby bought her like a flat screen tv like like i mean he spent3,000 on all of these gifts to give her.

Like every 10 minutes of that show, he was like, here's another gift. Because he was so embarrassed about how he conducted himself. And the reason that he even came to that reckoning was because you basically put him in his place. He was, and you're like like yeah you you were an asshole to her what did he do to her again he like kicked her out of the green room he had i think she she did power moves he was like i don't like what you're wearing on stage oh that's my show and that's the most fucked up thing to say that's so fucked up and i love her so funny though why

would he do that because he he's a fucking, yeah. I mean, she wasn't like a ball gown or something, right? Like it was kind of a tension. I feel like I might've been like. But she's the MC, like who gives a shit? Like maybe to be annoyed, but to open yourself up to be like, this upsets me. It's clear, I think he was upset about other things.

Yeah. Took it out on her. Maybe his set wasn't so good and then he wanted to be like, it must've been the dress on this girl. I think his set's always good, but I think before shows, he thinks the worst.

Yeah. Is there nothing that enrages you more than when people ask a question and then 10 minutes after, when you don't answer the question right away, text you like 20 question marks? Oh, I never will talk to them again. I appreciate it. No one does that to me. I kind of know what you mean, but no one dares.

They wouldn't dare is why dare why yeah that's a block you um you don't care if people don't like you you've just never cared i try to do things and if i'm gonna be mean i try to do it in a very concise way that it's like you kind of have to laugh and respect it but i'm not i've said some like really mean stuff but it's like you i've got to give you some rope you know there was a comic who just kept giving me advice this is like a couple months ago just kept being like oh you should do this as a podcast just do this and i'm like trying to be polite for as long as i can and finally i'm like if i need more career advice i'll let you know and the room laughed the guy was like oh yeah i'm yeah you're you're right

i'm sorry and everyone's like that was really funny i'm like i didn't i wasn't trying to be mean but he like didn't give me any choice. Yeah. Yeah, you have to shoot people down sometimes. How do you have that confidence and self-worth and stuff to be like, yeah, if someone sent me those question marks, I'd block them. Where does that come from? That you just do know yourself so well?

Or what is that? A combination of things. Maybe I just get away with it. But if you're willing to accept the consequences and you don't let it bother you, then you can kind of do anything. I'm so afraid of blocking people. There's something about that. I just have this big hump with it. I'm so afraid that, I don't know, I'll miss emergency or like I will have done something so bad.

But I want so badly to be that person that's just like, no, you're out. Even if you block someone, if they need to get a hold of you, they can still find a way to get a hold of you. See, I'll block on Twitter. I mute on Twitter because I don't want them to have the satisfaction

of knowing they're blocked unless I want them to know. I think Owen Benjamin years ago, I was like, I want you to know that I dislike you and know that I that I like dislike you and I'm blocking you but on

on texts I want to know what's coming yeah if some crazy person is like blowing up my phone I want to know

if they're about to show up at the show you know that I wouldn't I wouldn't block that but I wouldn't respond okay

I'll leave you on red I yeah leaving on red is the power move I don't I've unfollowed a lot of people that I see a lot. That feels good.

That is because don't they just like evaporate from your consciousness altogether? You know what's a fun move is if someone's texting you, write back like, oh my God, I'm fucking dealing with so-and-so, somebody we're talking about, and they're so fucking annoying. Send it to them and then write back sorry that was for someone else yeah yeah yeah

that's a brutal move wait about that's so funny so if it was me if you're texting me a bunch I'll just write back oh Esther's being

so fucking annoying right now and then write back oh sorry that was for someone else that'll fuck your whole week up alright that

I'm into that well I feel like I sometimes when people are like there was this one girl that i unfollowed she was bothering me she wanted me to do an a voice on her cartoon and she's like not a thing like i don't someone drew her a cartoon it's like nothing i was like i don't want to be on your cartoon so i just ignored her and then um she was complaining to my friend like oh annie's like not responding to me or whatever so when i see her next time i'm gonna go why do you think i'm not responding to you and see if she can come up with it because it's like if you're if you ask me if you've contacted me three times in a row and it's you asking me to do something for you you've

not offered me anything there's no exchange I will never talk to you again. See, Tiffany Haddish is so good at this. When I was doing a show with her and someone's like, hey, Tiffany, can we get you doing a quick video? And she goes, I get paid a lot of money to make movies. And it's just like,

she's staying with a smile. They're enjoying the conversation. There's no like, she's not like, no. Yeah, it's a boundary. I like to say, of course I'm not going to do that. Yeah.

Oh, that is good, yeah. It gives you an out. Like no one's mad. And it's a boundary i like to say of course i'm not going to do that yeah oh that is good yeah it gives you an out like no one's mad and it's so easy okay wait i love that so much that's like what i'm seeking in life i know this sounds weird but someone who when i ask them something that they'll say of course i'm not going to do that because it's so sick it makes me feel so secure that you're never going to do something that you don't want to do for me if you're like maybe you know let me think about it. Like, don't do that. Just say, of course, I'm not going to do that. That's great.

I think that's the freedom. When I look at you, there's a freedom that I don't need to speculate about where we stand. Yes. Yeah. I had someone ask me, like, do you hate me? And I'm like, do you know people I hate? And they're like, yeah. I'm like, do they have to ask me if I hate them?

You're right. I'll let you know people i hate and they're like yeah i'm like do they have to ask me if i hate them you're right i'll let you know i'm so inspired i want to be like this i just like it so much i don't know i feel like it's there's something in me that can it's it's in there i can learn so much from you because i've just been a chronic people pleaser my whole life and super yeah and i um i have a problem telling people or just rocking the boat in general so i feel like you are the perfect person after a ketamine hole you have to just own it and not regret it and if so that way you get a reputation where someone's like oh he was such a fucking dick like that's just anthony you know don't he just roast people it's fine yeah no one can get that mad it's I'm glad you're saying that because it is reminding me of what we learned about you and how you are a people pleaser and it's hard for you to say no and like I would love I would

literally get off on hearing you say to me of course I'm not doing that I would love for you to say that to me in in my ketamine journey yesterday, do you know what I found out I was asking? This is how codependent I was. In my own fucking, as I'm seeing mossy cave after mossy cave, apparently I was repeating this. Is everyone okay? Are you okay? I was saying the therapist's name.

Are you okay? I'm worried about you. Hey, is everyone okay? I'm like, the fuck? That's some deep-rooted shit. But that's exactly what needs to be happening because you have to get through that. You have to keep doing that until you stop doing it.

Yeah. That's the truth. I want to get to the point where I'm like, I don't care who's okay and who's not okay. I'm okay in this moment. Why don't we do a challenge? I want that for you. Why don't we do a challenge,

maybe a blocking challenge, or a respond right away with an honest opinion for a week yeah yeah challenge but see the other side of that is that is i'm i can be very cutting and my truth the way i feel inside is oftentimes not what people can handle and people see me as this like very complacent placating type of person but if you're asking for that, it can get ugly real fast because my feelings, the deep burning feelings in my chest aren't pretty. Oh, no. So it's like going to be like, Esther, you're ugly. You're way too ugly for me.

When she was saying that she was like in the pod and she's like, you know what I was thinking? Were you like, was it about me? Were you hoping she was going to say like, I thought like you know what i was thinking were you like was it about me were you hoping she was gonna say like i thought about you i but yes you are goals you are my goals when i i'm gonna put you in my vision board as somebody who has very firm boundaries and just who just is principled and is you know very um we can rely on you for the truth so i i want to be that person of course I'm not doing that of course I'm not gonna do that my new favorite is the guy the Comedy Store the photographer the Comedy Store will be like hey can I get

you to do some poses in the bathroom and I go I don't time for your bullshit tonight and he laughs he's like alright cool got it and it's like there's no it's not awkward it's just like there's no what's up man van's a slug he watches what's up van van um is doing great but if he puts one of those fucking dots on my picture i will block my i will black my name off the wall what's the dot what do you mean he he everyone's he hasn't done in a while but every once in a while he'll put like add like these dots onto the pictures and it's i'm on i find it unacceptable they're like little bubbles like white i didn't notice them for the longest time and someone pointed

them out i saw it on tony baker i'm like leave tony baker alone all right it's not van who asked me to pose but it's the other guy with the beard oh matt yeah matt matt do you watch yeah they're both good though the comedy store photographers are good my favorite and a shout out to your girlfriend liz who's seriously freaking amazing thank you amazing we gotta get her to the comedy store can we get her there

I know I'm trying really I'll help too yeah I want her there it's the thing now where they're like yeah we want you

and then no one ends up getting in touch and she's like what's going on they're like oh they haven't gotten in touch yet we'll talk to someone

but like the Shore brother or whatever was like yeah let's get her number and get her in here so hopefully something works out yeah cause she's at the laugh factory get her in here. So hopefully something works out.

Yeah, because she's at the Laugh Factory mostly. She left the Laugh Factory to be improv now. Yeah. Oh, she is? I've heard that your dog has more followers on Instagram than you. Is that true? I just started an Instagram like a month ago. And I've got two posts.

And I'm about to hand it over to a social media guy that I just kind of did it to. That's like the future is Instagram and TikTokiktok and i've always avoided that stuff but i i started the accounts but i i made one for my dog when i got him a couple years ago and uh he's got like almost 10 000 followers but that's like my passion like i love the dog instagram i hate and i've learned that if i'm in the picture with the dog it gets way more likes um that i uh i've been doing more of those but does that make you feel good when you're like you need me dog i think that should be your main instagram account then like it should just be like you sometimes use your dog's account to promote stuff i thought about that if i wasn't if i was just using it for like fun i

would do that but if i'm gonna sell tickets oh yeah i might as well have it under my name yeah you should just bring the dog with you. Go full female comic. He's too big. Oh, he's a big one. Oh. So cute. I like the name of your Largo show. It's funny.

What is it? Jesselnik Anonymous? Yeah. It is funny, though. Everyone's like, is Jesselnik, does he hate me? Is he talking shit on me? And you're just, like, posting pictures of your dog. Oh. Do you have other tips for pictures of your dog oh do you have

other tips for like i'm trying to have a self-worth summer like how to build your self-worth so that you say no to people and like have boundaries i just when i really hate something i think like why did i say yes to this and now i've learned like i just got offered to do a new year's eve gig that sounded like something sounded great didn't. I was like, you know what? I guarantee come New Year's Eve, I'm going to be like, why did I do this? I don't want to be getting on this plane right now. And so I just said no well in advance. That just when you don't like something, think like, why didn't I say no?

And then you just start saying no to things. Like I turned down most podcast appearances. I was interested to see what this would be like. Would you come back? Yeah. Would you come back? Would you come back? Sure. It's not that far away.

I like you guys. I thought this was interesting. I feel like, this isn't a healthy feeling, but I feel like you're one of my papas of comedy because you talked to me when I was an open mic-er. So I seek your approval. I mean, you scheduled an appointment. It wasn't like you just walked out. You scheduled an appointment.

No, I know. And you followed through and you showed up. It sounds like I sexually harassed you at work. So thank you for forgiving me. I remember I left that night and I was talking to a friend of mine. I was like, do you know Esther Povitsky? She said, and they go, before you say anything, she's a friend of mine. And I was like, oh, I'm not saying anything bad like who was it i forget i forget ester needs to

know who this friend is no it's that's nice yeah i'm proud of you for that moment though that is a very like strong ester move to ask him to get me pregnant yeah yeah yeah it's very on brand it's very on brand well you're tall like you have like the right opposing things for my genetics that would it's i like how you're justifying this like you were seriously trying to get pregnant like you weren't making a joke like you're like no i my dad i talked to my dad about it and he's here he's gonna introduce me i don't make jokes i just say things that sometimes are funny i do feel like i met you like you when I first met you, you were like already kind of blowing up. You had already had your MTV unpicked up pilot.

Your unpicked up pilot. But that was a big deal for the level that all of us were at at that point. And but and then you started you were like, I think just getting into acting and stuff so you were being like I think more like behaved you weren't as like tits out you were you were on the end of your tits out phase I don't know I think I've always been like silly and stuff but I definitely had periods of time in this career or whatever, like my adulthood, where I've been more shy and not fully myself. And I feel like that is something that like discovering weed has been helpful with that. I think that's why I'm so curious about like all the other kinds of psychedelic stuff, because, yeah, I feel like a part of me got lost in whatever it is, like the pressures of work and stuff.

But I think that happens to everyone. Like you get older and you're like, the world tells you to shut up or this and that. And then you like dim yourself or whatever. Well, also you just naturally like settle into yourself and maybe the things that were like activating you before. I watch a lot of reality TV and I've watched the MTVtv's challenge for since it started

we got theo has to talk about it why does he never talk about it have you ever tried to talk he was on road i've heard he doesn't like doesn't like talking about it doesn't like being brought up i get the road rules part of it because he wants to be known as a comedian but the challenge was only i didn't even watch this season yeah uh but i got into it during the pandemic and was like all about it. Yeah. I haven't watched the new, the last season or two. Well, I watched the first two seasons of All Stars. I'm very happy to know you like it.

It's good. But the thing is with All Stars is what I was going to say is, so they have, it's been going on for 20 some years. And so all of the people and the challenges, all of the people from the real world and the world where it used to be, and now it's different reality shows too, come and they do all these like really insane, hard physical competitions and they get voted off and stuff. But now they're older. So no one's really like fucking each other.

No one's really like drinking. No one's really getting wasted or fighting. So it's definitely a different thing. And then now they're trying to sort of reinvent it with with younger people. And they had to make the challenges easier because no one could complete them. They're all like in their 50s now. What other reality shows are you into? I mean, I watched during the pandemic.

I never watched anything. But I got into the challenge big time when I was going back and watching seasons. And like, oh, my God, the storyline is great from like three years ago. I watched Big Brother. I watched a couple seasons of Big Brother. Watching the new season now? I haven't watched the new season. Me either.

I don't know if I will. I watched The Bachelor last season. And I've watched the first episode of The Bachelorette, but I truly hated it. Oh, is it this? Did it just start? Of The Bachelorette. I like Gabby though. Yeah, the new, I really like her.

Who was the last Bachelorette? Was Michelle? Oh yeah, it was Michelle. Yeah, I feel like the last couple was the last Bachelorette was Michelle. Oh, yeah, it was Michelle. Yeah, I feel like the last couple of seasons of The Bachelorette. Sometimes it's just I don't know. It's just such an unbelievable show. It's like so like the people are also. Like full of shit.

Yeah. But yeah, I didn't watch this first episode. I don't know what what it's going to be like with the two girls. No one's into Love Island. Love Island's not the US the UK one I watched the first season of Survivor ever I just moved out to LA and we're being really into it and they just didn't they started the new season like right afterwards and I was like I can't I can't do this it's my favorite thing about it they don't wait that long in between it's my favorite show I freak out when I've ran into Jeff Robeson it's it's you would think i i'm you know

meeting oprah or something i freak out he's my guy he's the man would you ever do a reality show like that no i just don't i don't want to be on camera the whole time i don't like i don't want people to see me run yeah like. Like I, I, I enjoy watching them, but yeah, I don't feel the need to, to be a part of that. You guys, thank you so much for tuning in.

Thank you to Anthony for sitting here, being polite. And you guys will see you next week with a whole new episode. With Anthony, we're going to have him back. He's coming every week. He said it's close. But honestly,

he's the only male comic who will agree to do our show after our shit went down so thank you because no one wants to fucking talk to us anymore you did not tell me that when you asked me to come