Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - BEST OF 2021!

Episode Date: January 4, 2022

Thank you to our Sponsors:   BetterHelp - Get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at https://betterhelp.com/trashtuesday Stitch Fix - Get started today by filling out your style quiz at https://stitchfix.com/tuesday Nutrafol - Go to https://nutrafol.com and enter promo code TRASH to save $15 off your first month’s subscription + free shipping   Manscaped - Get 20% off + free shipping at http://www.manscaped.com with the code TRASH Trash Tuesday Merch: http://slugfam.com Trash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Subscribe to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/HitOurButtons Official Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/trashtuesdayclips Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491 Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: George Kimmel & Pete Forthun Editor: Gabby Galon --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/trashtuesday/message

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it's free shocking that esther that's what you were about to say right yes it's free uh-huh it's always number one on our list it's free everyone wants to freaking start a podcast this is the easiest way we're about to tell you there's creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or computer and and and they will distribute your podcast for you so it it can be heard from spotify apple podcasts and all of the platforms basically also you can make money from your podcast with no minimum listenership the best i mean imagine that that's like the lowest that's low pressure everything you need with anchor everything you need to make a podcast all in one place just download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started how did this all come

about when did you two become friends let's let's roll it back a couple years and let our audience know hollywood story yeah this is our true Hollywood story. Yeah, this is our true Hollywood story. How did this start? How did this friendship start? Okay, so I feel like Annie and I were at a place in comedy where we both kind of knew who the other one was, and I had heard she'd come to the comedy store, and she got passed right away,

and I was really excited to meet her because she's this young, hot, funny comic, so I'm like, ooh, I want to see her boobs or something so I saw her in the hallway disappointed you must have been I saw her in the hallway and like right away I just like locked eyes with her and I think I what did I think I pulled your shirt off I believe you pulled my tits out or you pulled yours out like I I remember feeling like you were trying to like shock me and I was like bitch bitch, wrong girl. And I pulled my tits out too or pulled yours out.

Yeah, I just felt like, oh, I know this girl is going to be down. I can just tell from her energy like there is no shocking her. Like I just knew that I could tell. But we had the same manager. So we both had this manager back in the day. One of our first daddies. Hi, Hollywood daddy um sorry we fired you I just can't believe your name dropping a person we fired no it's fine it's fine it's fine

but he so when I saw you at the comedy store you're very obvious who you are because he had sent me your your like reel at one point and then I watched a bunch of your stuff and you're so little and your name was Little Esther that it wasn't like I was going to forget who you were, your name or anything. So I remember going up to you and going, oh, we have the same manager. And then you were great. I mean, the tits were out immediately. It was fast friends.

Yeah, it was fast friends. And it was also fast enemies because this story takes a turn. So Kalilah, it could be you one day I can't wait for that day but also I I hope it's a long time from now well you know what I want to know is what is your what are your early memories of me because I also remember clicking with you right away like seven or eight years ago whatever it was when I was do opening for Bobby at the Irvine Improv and it was the first time I met you and I just I remember liking you right away knowing not to be too too aggressive but and then I and then I imagine thinking when you meet someone of like what the move is just imagine being like I don't want to come on too much of this or that oh she's look at her look at her. Just planning it all at home.

But then I learned you were a nurse. So you were, so I'm like, oh, she's. What? Just the idea that I just imagined you finding out she was a nurse and you're like, sweet. Now I can complain to her about all my ailments. And that's been our entire friendship. That was kind of our beginning too. And then when I was in on a

tour in australia new zealand and i got sick i just remember i was texting with you every day and you were helping me and i was like i just was like oh me and klyler like we're in this forever wait but i need to know what is your first memory of me like do you have any yeah the first the first thing you said to me you didn't introduce yourself you didn't say who you were i i went into the green room and you're like do you want to see my boobs do you remember that you have one move but you because you're calculated you knew to with her to ask and with me you just assaulted me but you didn't ask to see mine in return but i know i was trying i was angling for it that was my tactic did i get to see your boobs are going to come out in the first episode or are we going to tease it for a while?

I don't think you've ever. I now regret never showing you my fake boobs because you don't have any reference for what they looked like before and how disastrous they look now. There's no way they look disastrous. Well, consider this. I had double D's smashed into little A cups. There is some skin stretch. There is stretch, but I guess. It's probably not that much.

But I guess because I only had them for two years, the skin kind of like held up its integrity. Do you want to show me in the back room and come back and say what I think? Why does it have to be a back room? Like, it's so creepy. It can't be a front room. It has to be a back room and i can come back and say what i think i why does it have to be a back room like it's so creepy it can't be a front room it has to be a back room oh you're so that's how esther and i met were you threatened by me at all were you like oh keep her away from my man well did you like me did you what did you think i just thought that you were as close of aversion to bobby as i'd ever met because I'd met other comics at that point and I was like huh Bobby sort of like stands in his own lane he is just this he

is just who he is until I met you I was like oh they're the same kind they're cut from the same cloth so you thought she's calling you fat so so you thought I was a lot like your boyfriend? Yes. Okay. And so I felt very, what's the opposite of the most threatened? Secure. Very, very, I wouldn't even say secure. I just felt very okay with your existence in the green room. Thank you. And immediately I found you really funny. Really?

Yeah, because I saw your set that night. Oh, look, she saw your set. That's really, now that's odd. Was she saw your set that's really now that was she riffing i can't imagine it was her jokes annie on the other hand i was super intimidated by well when did we first meet i remember seeing you at the comedy show but i don't know if we met maybe we never got introduced until we did tiger belly okay properly but i'd seen you there maybe twice and i remember you wearing all black with like a black leather jacket yeah your skin was like snatched to the heavens your eyes had a really perfect like upturn angle you had a really like you had a lot of bass in your voice and I was like oh gosh I need to

stay away and this is this is a slow this is gonna this going to happen slowly and organically. I can't force it. Isn't that interesting? Her first instinct was stay away. Isn't it interesting her first instinct was you remind me of my Asian boyfriend? And so, yeah, I remember thinking, holy shit, is she, I remember asking Bobby, I was like, is she just a super hot girl who's someone's girlfriend? Or is she a comic? Because I couldn't imagine a comic being that hot.

I was hoping you were going to ask if I booked the club. A super hot girl. This is so fun. You know, I always thought I was ugly until recently. Bobby has a gift for all of us for Chinese New Year. Oh. Oh my God. Oh wow.

Happy Chinese New Year. Thank you. We've got some durian fruit what yeah oh fancy durian fruit has it ever been living it looks like it was something that was alive once yeah it was living i did kill it i cut myself right here cutting it come here babe come to me come to me and uh no come on the mic come on the mic. It's a combination between mango and vomit. Ew, Bobby! So, um... Talk here. Hi.

Here, let me hold this. Uh-huh. Tell us what you have. Tell the nice one. Well, this right here is durian fruit. Here, make the mic. It's right there. This right here is durian fruit and, um... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's just assume a mango was in vegas right he had no money and he prostituted himself to get a ticket back home i feel like a mango is a girl bobby obviously right and um it's basically if you know a mango um could take a shit that's what it is do you like it no i fucking hate it and why do you have it eat it no oh yeah you're gonna eat it well listen all right once a year my people have a new year okay so do my people exactly right and so um for me it's like it. Don't touch me while I'm describing. Okay, sorry. So once a year, my people, we celebrate by eating a durian fruit. And white people are very much welcome. And of course, smell it if you can.

I smell it from here. You're going to smell it from closer. You know I'll eat it. I'm down. I want to watch Annie eat it. No, Esther, you have to do something. It looks like chicken. Smell it. Smell it.

It's not that bad. We know it starts as mango, but then it goes foul. It goes into bad foot really soon. Look. Okay, so I... Annie, you eat it. Oh, it looks like mustard. Oh, no, we need everybody to take a taste.

Yeah, grab some. It looks like... I feel like Armie Hammer. This is like very... Flushy. All right. All right, it smells... It smells like fermented.

Yeah, it smells fermented. She's eating it. Look, I'm from the Philippines. This is my fruit. And even I can't eat it. But I'm going to do it today. She's eating it. Look, I'm from the Philippines. This is my fruit. And even I can't eat it. But I'm going to do it today. She's eating it. It's like a savory.

It tastes delicious. Of course to you, Annie. I like it. You do? Yeah. What did you spray your hand for? Look what I do for you. I like it.

My fucking hand is cut off because of the fucking durian, bitch. Fucking durian. I cut my shit up. Well, I want another one. Yeah, yeah. one yeah i don't know just just take this part it's the gizzard give me more i want more i'm spoiled a little brat it's like garlicky oh in your mouth put it in her mouth don't smell it just eat it it smells like fucking garlic you eat garlic on your fucking sugar fish bitch

eat it put it in your mouth and swallow it now it tastes like onion I don't like it Bobby I don't care it's my fucking people give me more it tastes like a. I don't like it, Bobby. I don't care. It's my fucking pupil. All right. Here, give me more. Let me have some, babe. It tastes like a fucking, like, slimy onion. You know, you're a super smeller, Esther, and it is pretty...

You're a super smeller. It's pretty... Eat way more than that, babe. Babe, I'm... Prove your point. Babe, listen to me. I'm going double. I want more. Eat all the way, babe. Eat a whole chunk.

I just have to hold my... Yeah. Oh, I'm going to throw up. I just have to hold my yeah's dick. I'm really sick. I'm really sick. It does look like the insides of a ball. It looks like a castration.

I'm not doing well. I'm doing great. Is this from my country? Get away. Get out. I'm going to leave her right here. I'm going to leave her right here, yeah. What is this real? Is this from my country? Get away. Get out. I'm going to leave her right here. No, please don't, Bobby. Honestly, I just leave her right here because my fucking hand's cut up.

I was so glad to wake up early. I have to take a nap. Babe, take it with you. I'm going to take the whole fucking day to do this fucking Dorian thing. I'm going to take a nap right now. Babe, you got to take it away. I can't deal with it. I'll take it. I'll take it.

Take it away. All right. Take it away. I'll put it right over here. Oh, no. No, not near me guys guys I genuinely liked it look at my face

I completely I like understand that you guys don't have this experience I've hated it since I was a kid who the fuck wanted to do this it was my idea and it backfired let me say afired if you honestly i knew annie would like it i fucking knew it i genuinely thought you were gonna vomit on the

camera no i genuinely thought that i was down for this because i'm like, this is from my country. I should be, I should have a predisposition to liking it. And I know that I hated it growing up, but I just thought, okay, like I'm an adult now. I can eat and I can eat anything by the way. Like I eat, like I eat anus. I cannot eat a durian for the rest of my life. That almost like... You were really hurting. I was... I'll never recover. I'll never be the same. I would rather eat Bobby's anus than eat another bite of that.

I do have a feeling they all taste very similar. You know what? They don't. Bobby's anus is infinitely, infinitely less putrid. So that was our episode. Do you want to take your mask off? I cannot take my mask off because of the fucking smell of that thing

that you made us try. I'm right here. Maybe that's why I liked it. It smells a lot and tasted like my hoagie armpits. But you guys, thanks for listening. And what do we say? Just subscribe. Smash.

Smash the likes. Comment below. Share about it on your socials. Tell your friends. We'll repost you on our at Bloodbath Girls Instagram. Bloodbath Girls. Follow us on the gram. And we'll be back with more disgusting things.

Kalilah's barely in it. It really was. I mean, you did handle it worse as someone that has grown up with it. And that's why I'm so sorely disappointed in myself is like, I know for sure Esther's going to go down for this one and she didn't.

She actually stood proud. Well, I can't believe I even licked it. It was a hard no, but Bobby was fucking screaming at me and scaring me i'm gonna order some i'm gonna get some you know what you might try durian candy it's not as strong leave me out of it yes thanks guys follow us on instagram or something i want to apologize for esther like can i want to change the subject two weeks ago i went home to visit my family and i

got a text from a guy that I was really, really close friends with in high school. Like, we, you know, my senior year, we just, like, we hung out all the time, whatever. We were just really good friends. And he was like, hey, I'm in Skokie, too. Do you want to hang out? So I went to his house. We went for a walk.

And he's like, I want to tell you something. And I'm like, what? He's like, I had a crush on you all of high school. And I was like, what? He's like, I had a crush on you all of high school. And I was like, what? Like, it just changed everything. He took you, you guys went out for him just to say this? Like, he had it in his head to just get it off his chest? I don't know.

Put your coat back a little. So this, like, changed my, I feel like this changed everything for me because I'm like, whoa like whoa like a guy liked me like i just never felt like guys were into me and then he reminded me of something that i completely forgot he did finger me once and he told me that when he was fingering me he started kissing me and i asked him to stop kissing me and to just finger me. It's a boss move, babe. And I was like, I can't believe I did that. That's so like prostitute level.

But I completely blocked it out. That is boss level. I think maybe you're right. Because kissing is so intimate to me that it's like if I'm strictly wanting something sexual from you, there's a good chance we'll never even kiss. Yeah. It's like I don't want to see your fucking face. Get down there. Do the thing. If I don't want to see your fucking face get down there do the thing if i don't want to kiss you i can't do anything with

you well i think it by the way if it was a reverse and the guy was like don't kiss me and just jerk you would say i know i know i think that'd be you'd say i understand but anyways i feel like i like left this weird imprint on him and now like because in high school at this like important time i said like don't kiss me yeah that that could be traumatic i understand that yeah when you're like when you're just first starting getting sexual and then someone says something i didn't get chest hair until like i didn't have body hair really and then i turned 18 and then it just and i went to my my first girlfriend i went to her dorm and the guys over girls are here guys are here same floor so I went I showered over here and then I walked across to her place I'm so lost and bored with a towel around my

my lower half but I had chest hair oh and my girlfriend at the time was embarrassed she goes cover your chest and I I for I got so much laser hair removal. You did? But hairy chest is good. Not in my chest, but like here for like a decade. And it wasn't until years and years later, I used to do a bit about it. I talked about how when I saw Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, and I thought, he looks great. For years, I was so embarrassed to take my shirt off.

Oh my God, there was this guy that I happened to cross on my last trip on vacation. Happened to cross? I happened to, we happened to collide. Our paths crossed. And he had his shirt off and he had a patch of hair in the back of his neck,

like further up on his back. And I didn't know this about myself, but I was immediately attracted. Like I thought, holy shit, I don't know what it is, but I want to touch it. The hair. The hair on the top of his neck,

it was like the soul patch, and it was so fucking hot, Esther. So I say, guys, if you're insecure about your body hair, hold out, you're gonna find some freak like me who's gonna really, really love it, including your chest hair. Can we see your chest hair? No, I'm not even embarrassed about my chest

hair anymore as much as i am about how like skinny and out of shape and unathletic i look we can't see i don't want to it's a lingerie show us i don't i don't really want it i don't really show us what it hasn't got sun it's pale wow you're you're insecure it's's okay. Yeah, I know. I'm sure you do. You fat piece of shit. Could you edit out? Don't edit it out. Edit it out because you're not supposed to say stuff about weight because everyone's beautiful. But the truth is heavy people are beautiful if there's some, you know, but there's nothing about you.

You know, you're just a pawn that could only move one space on the first turn. Sometimes I need so much help I have a headache. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I just want some help. I want it now. I don't want to have to find a new therapist and make sure they're in my network, show up, find parking, all that stuff. And that's why I am so grateful in this beautiful

new year for BetterHelp. Check out betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday. BetterHelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. You can connect in a safe and private online environment. It's so convenient. You can start communicating in just under 48 hours. We love that you can send a message to your counselor anytime and you'll get timely and thoughtful responses. Plus you can send a message to your counselor anytime and you'll get timely and thoughtful responses. Plus you can schedule weekly video or phone sessions all without ever having to sit in an uncomfortable waiting room. BetterHelp is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they make it easy and free to change counselors if needed. Some weeks I don't want to

see my therapist's face. That phone option really is great. I can roll around in bed, look crusty, and, you know, look crusty, be half naked. You don't have to worry about being late, parking, driving, traffic. No, which is call your therapist. Anything you share is confidential. It's convenient, professional, and affordable.

We want you to start living a happier life today like we all have with BetterHelp. And as a listener, you'll get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at BetterHelp.com slash Trash Tuesday. Join over 1 million people who have taken charge of their mental health. Again, that's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash Trash Tuesday. You know what I'm over? What?

I'm over shopping at the mall. Are you kidding? It's so annoying. I do like the mall, but let's be real. I'm going for the pretzels. You know how you make impulse buys and now it doesn't work out for you and you have to go return it and then you walk your ass to the mall? I mean, especially after all that holiday shopping, I'm over it.

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Get started today by filling out your style quiz at stitchfix.com slash Tuesday. That's stitchfix.com slash Tuesday to try Stitch Fix Freestyle. Stitchfix.com slash Tuesday. Do you get hard easily if you're with your girlfriend or like a lover? Yeah, I don't think i have it sounds like erectile dysfunction it sounds like you do though i don't i'm saying i don't i'm not ruling it out it but

it's never it's it's not an issue like there's no issue i i can't how do you know because i've there hasn't been many times there's been a few but there's been many times in my life where i'm like oh fuck i can't have sex it's just that I don't want to. So the situation that I was talking about before where it's the most uncomfortable is if you find yourself making out, you're rubbing genitalia, but I don't want to be doing this. I don't want to be doing any of this.

Any of it. The show? The show right now? That was the, yeah, that's what I was implying, but I don't mean that. You know the first night that I, because I used to date a comedian, Tony Inchcliffe, and the first night we hung out, we had like, you know, what you were saying. What were you just doing?

Were you doing bunny ears? Showing you sketches? Because you didn't say anything in the quotes. Oh, what was I doing? The dry sex, like humping? Well, isn't dry sex, you call it sex, is dry sex. But with doing, dry sex sounds like it's some it sounds like a sex. OK, whatever. We were dry sexing, you know.

Oh, yeah. I'm bad at the quotes. You're right. You caught me. So it's dry humping. We were dry humping the first night we hung out and he came in his pants. Oh, my God. Isn't that amazing?

I do. You know how good that would make me feel? I told you that some guy came on my kneecap and I've never felt like a bigger boss in my life. He was like, oh, your legs. And he grabbed my legs and he nutted on my kneecap. Wait, what? And he was like, ah.

Wait, what do you mean? I must be some kind of fucking specimen. Do you really think it was you and not the fact that he comes like that? You think I can never come, but all of a sudden I came on her knee. Here's the thing, Rick. I don't like guys that last long. And that's a fact. Same.

Yeah, I, well, what's long? I mean, you want five, eight minutes, right? I don't want more than a maximum eight to 10. Yeah. And I feel like that's already him really trying to like think of his grandma and baseball and other things. Is that a thing people really do? I don't know, but you know?

No, if you're trying to last longer, you just change positions. Why? Because then you get, it's like when you're working out, you take a rest. Hey, like, I'm sure, I don't know if anyone ever fucks you face forward,

but like, if you're behind, maybe you would say, here, get on my back and face, I'll get on my back and face that way or something. I feel like you should ring your bell. I sometimes feel bad insulting you because it feels like I'm being mean to Dave. Oh, that's true. Because Dave's like, oh, what are you saying?

Like my standards are such and such. You're disrespecting his woman. Well, I don't feel it. Yes. That's not the issue. I feel like it's disrespecting his tastes. And he's obviously has such great taste. He's a very creative, smart, you know, he's just- You can pivot.

You know, just you could go after me. Esther could use a break. Go after you for what? I don't know if you feel like calling me- Take off your bra. No. Ew. Let me see if I can make fun of your tits.

Take off your bra. This is a paid service. Subscribe and you can see it. Sure. Hey, we'll put this part on Patreon. Hold on a second sir go ahead i really have not put deodorant on in several days you don't wear deodorant can i smell isn't that a thing yes it's not good i don't want to get up because i'm wearing a thong

do it i don't want to get up because she just shit her pants uh i was hoping for a bigger laugh it made me feel immature it's the same as the bloodbath girls we can't like look at what they're doing like what what they all want is our attention

and us talking about them so the bloodbath girls are now trying I don't know what they're trying to do to me or whatever I'm never watching it I don't care anyone that watches

whatever their fucking bullshit video is and agrees with them please unfollow everything I've ever done get the fuck away from me I literally am here to fucking get over myself, be good, make people feel good, make people laugh. If you don't want to get on board with that, get the fuck away from me.

I will not be controlled. I never have been. I never will be. It's like, fuck off. By the way, the best point ever made was about the name. Bloodbath when it's friends making fun of each other and it's a little bit of a period joke is cute. Bloodbath when it's about the victims of a fucking crime is absolutely disgusting.

That's really, really bad. And to say one of the comments they said about us was like, serial killers are better than us. We're worse than serial killers because we don't apologize to the victims. By the way, there's nothing to apologize to. And the serial killers are not okay. They're never okay. You are misogynist. You are misogynist.

You hate women. You pray and you try to make money off of the death of innocent fucking women. So how about that? How about that? Do you want us to fucking release that bitches? Do you want people to know that about you? What are we doing? We're showing girls that they can be themselves, get over their fucking trauma, love each other, be supportive and speak their own fucking mind in a world where men tell us what to fucking say all the time, and we have to conform. We don't fucking do that. We talk about diarrhea, period blood, and we fucking eat

gross shit, alright? Fuck you. All during a pandemic. And we're horrible. We never bullied you once. We took the name down. We just were trying to be nice to you, and you wanted more. You wanted merch money. You wanted attention. All you want is money, clout, and to look like victims. Well, you're not fucking victims merch money you wanted attention all you want is money clout and to look like victims well you're not fucking victims but you know who are the girls

you exploit for your fucking show that has 40 followers so enjoy your shitty little career and you'll never get a hundred thousand fucking dollars from us if you would ask for 10 by the way you might have gotten mama has spoken it's like enough like what what do we want our followers to do not be themselves and scared and and and victims of their we were all fucking molested in every hole except esther but her time will come maybe during this episode i had some things yeah you had a couple things that's true for some reason she hides them i think that you hit the nail on the head and i think that ultimately we've not call it what it was, which is they've been bullies. You're bullying us. You're trying to extort us. We know our power and that's why we don't talk about you because you will be destroyed by our fans. We don't want them to feel bad. We don't want them to go against you. We want to just move on with the shittiest name ever. Kalilah picked it.

No, I didn't. I didn't. George did. George fucking did it. George does coke, though, so we'll give him a pass. He's a drug addict, and he was drugged. Do you guys want to hear two girls talk about the same murders you heard everyone else talk about?

Yeah. Who are calling us bullies out of nowhere that we've literally been protecting for months and months and months? Yeah. Do you hate our new name? So do we. Everyone fucking does.

We love our name. It made sense. We could have coexisted with them. We actually were going to have them be our true crime correspondents but they went around and told everyone

we were thieves and liars and said we were doing things we never did they are unsafe I don't negotiate with terrorists

yes yes so go watch their show if you like it and resonate with it please give them your money give them your attention

please please it seems like they really want to build an empire. Go follow them. Do whatever. Do it. Do it on a charity.

It's no sweat off our back. Because even after we changed the name, they still took it down vengefully. They literally gave us more shit even after we changed the name. After we changed the name. And it's like, I don't even want to be mad because I shouldn't let anyone make me mad.

But it's like, it's so fucking frustrating. We're biting our tongues trying to help and protect them and they can't stop and we've been harassed and bullied harassed and bullied every day

I wanted a private apology from Esther because they made up a situation in their head where they thought Esther was speaking directly to them that's weird

that's like stalker stuff that made someone out there think you're speaking to them that like is what made me feel unsafe that's unhinged shit where I'm like you think you're speaking to them that like is what made me feel unsafe that's unhinged shit where I'm like

you're making up something in your head that I'm threatening you I think the line that they were upset about was like one of our first podcasts which we filmed

months before we even they even acknowledged us was you said we're the bloodbath girls let it be known and like and they let the court it's been a bloodbath let the court see because she's gonna sue me all the time because i'm a killer because

it's bloodbath because we're friends that fuck with each other do you understand it has nothing to do with you listen angels go for your life get over yourselves your life will be better okay i work on this myself too okay i'm not saying i'm perfect. And I want you to be successful. But your mindset is not correct. Your mindset is paranoid. And it's not where we're coming from. And you want an apology? I'm sorry.

I'll say it. I don't know what the fuck I'm apologizing for, but I'm sorry. No, I'm getting emotional because I do feel like I think that anyone can relate to this. There's something in your life that you have to just keep a smile on your face. And you can't let people know what's going on behind the scenes. But, like, since the day we started this podcast, this has been going on. And we never talk about it because, like, what women usually do, we just put a smile on our faces and, like, keep it going. And I'm just – there's something emotionally cathartic about this.

I think that what it is, Esther, is that we genuinely don't want to hurt anyone even like this is a comedy show yeah like we've never set out to hurt anyone's feelings step on anyone's toes this was our whole our home project between three friends we came up with a a name from the english dictionary that we liked that was once a movie metal band that was based on a band that is like you know and and what we set out to do was just something light and funny and really positive. And what has transpired has been such a bummer. And the fact that we've had to just take the high road and play nice and pretend like nothing's happening is been, you're right. It's been a fucking frustrating process and did i not do we not have a conversation where it's like you know what we should just do a

thing and try to be as nice as possible and every time we're about to do that they send another threatening fucking email some threat about something or we've done this or we change the name on purpose like stop watching true crime stop it you're paranoid stop well okay get a puppy get a puppy go look at the trees it's beautiful out it's beautiful out what about the weeks or months that like after we changed the name because we were being threatened like all a lot of our listeners were upset and they they were like oh i don't want to listen anymore because you changed your name and we're just sitting here like we didn't want to change our name like we were being harassed and by the way we couldn't tell anyone there was no taking of a name we didn't know who you were as most people don't you literally have us i'm not even trying to be rude

you have a small following it's very very small it's very small you know what we're doing we're actually businesswomen that are getting together to write due to a podcast that resonates with young girls that makes them happy do you know what happens when I do my shows now, my live shows? Girls come up crying that they feel so much better about being molested and what's happened to them because we talk openly about it. So keep shutting us down. We're so mean to women. We're so mean to them. And then go, oh, is there another girl that got murdered innocently that you want to bathe in their blood? Like, what are you talking about? And did we ever once say, we don't want you to have the name do we ever care didn't have anything to do we didn't know you existed until we already had launched and filmed the first few episodes so sorry we came up with the name before you existed i don't know what

you're talking about there's no thievery no one's taking from you and it didn't take anything from you all it did was get you more attention yeah and honestly we're happy to share that attention. It's like, look, like, whatever trickle-down followers that you get out of this, happy to have you see, happy to see you have them. We were going to have you be correspondents, but we, you know who we don't have? People that call us liars and thieves and make up stories about us and bully us. That's who we don't have. Yeah, I'm sorry. This has been honestly my favorite episode

because and i and i really apologize for like my i shouldn't be this heated because i don't it's anger is not the thing it's just it's exactly what esther's saying it's like we've been holding it yeah i and like i literally i'm like on the verge of tears like since you started talking about the asian stuff like i'm just so it's such a shitty feeling to like hold something in and be harassed and be scared. And like, I don't know, it's just. And be told you're bad when your intentions were never, like never bad at all. Right. I don't even know what to say.

Like, I don't, I don't know what to say. I'm just like glad we're talking about this. It's like therapeutic because this has just been really shitty. And I'm grateful that we have the show and that we fucking are.'re a huge success yeah and guess what we are we're huge no matter no matter what we are and bitch sorry she's the only one that exercises whether we're whether this is bloodbath trash tuesday slug town annie esther kalilah show it's whatever we imbue it with right right? It's like our followers, our fans, we love them so dearly.

They've latched, we've latched back. It's like this mutualistic love. And no matter what we are, no matter what name we have, we're going to do well. It also doesn't matter. It's like, you can have the name. We don't care.

We've done nothing but be nice to you. Just stop harassing us, guys. It's like we've given you A, B, C, D, and E, everything. Just leave us the fuck alone. You got our iTunes taken down. That's more people that could have been inspired and felt good about themselves that can't have that now. Also, when there was a third podcast, Bloodbath, like they bullied the shit out of those people too. And it's like, dude, like it's just an English word.

How many bad friends are there? Five. There's like five, yeah. Yeah, how many like hey bad friends are there? Five. There's like five, yeah. Yeah, how many like hey babes are there? Hey babes. 20. This exists. I used to do a thing called Sausage Party Presents with me and my friend Abby.

It was called Sausage Party. It was, we would take hot dogs and we would recreate scenes with it and we would make original content. And then I saw my friend, Kate Berlant, on the subway. She goes, oh my God, congrats on the movie. I go, what are you talking about? She goes, oh, you're doing that movie with Seth, Seth, Rogan, Sausage Party. And I went, Nope, that's unfortunate. Oh, well, you move on, you make something new, you keep

moving forward. Nothing about our show gets in the way of your show in any way. Yeah, I think that if you spent all of this energy and legal fees into actually creating legitimate content you would build an empire but if you're continually continually obsessing and using that energy to go after girls that are just trying to do a home project um it's gonna it's it's gonna backfire esther how many alone togethers were there in the world? A lot. Well, look, it became like the slogan for COVID-19. Yeah. Look at that. COVID stole from Esther. We should sue COVID. COVID

owes Esther an apology. COVID's been looking at you through the camera and yelling at you. Yeah, it's just a, it's, this is a, it was a, it's been a really weird situation that I just didn't see coming for myself or for us. What I found the funniest though,

is they really had it up for you. Poor little baby. I mean, that made me feel scared. Like I, you know, I've had stalkers and stuff like I, there's protocol for that.

Like I, you know, had to do some things to make sure, you know, I just don't know who these people are when they start talking to you like they know you I don't know it just this whole thing is it's really shitty and I feel like people all all day every day there are people out there in their own workplaces where they have to grin and smile through something where they're being harassed or like threatened um and it just is so shitty and i wish there was something that we could do and maybe even just sharing about it is helpful but it's i don't know it's just it's like i just feel really emotional like i can't articulate

and yeah i don't know like i just i'm so grateful that annie is here to like be our mouthpiece yeah because you're good like say what i think we've all been feeling and afraid to say. All of this to say, by the way, stop complaining about the name change. We're going to change it into something else. We're like an art exhibit. Every two months. I'm doubling down. Trash Tuesday.

Now I want to like stay with it. Maybe we should just keep it. Honestly, maybe we should just keep it. The name doesn't matter. You guys are what matter. The three of us. I look, my, I wanted to pitch to take the H out and just be bloodbats. That was my pitch.

That's great. We should do bleed baths. Bleed baths. I want slug bath. Slug bath. Oh, yeah, slug bath. Slug bath is cute. Slug bath.

Even bath girls, I know I shit all over Esther and her mother. But now I didn't know she's been being harassed online. I want to get on track, but I'm also glad we did this. How about this? We hop off the horse and we switch gears, guys. Can I call my mom?'s been being harassed online. I want to get on track, but I'm also glad we did this. How about this? We hop off the horse and we switch gears, guys. It's like we're very good at it. Can we call Bobby and show him your tattoo? Yes.

Yeah, I'm scared. Yeah. What are you scared about? Well, maybe he's on set, but let's try. I just feel like he's going to be like, that's weird. Like, that's weird. Well, he's going to be mad. You're worried about people saying that's weird when they look at you?

Oh, Santino's calling me. Should I pick it up? Yeah. You know, I called and I was just trying to I was originally trying to leave you a voice message singing happy birthday to you and an old white guy voice. But I picked you ruined it. Can you? Well, here, let me hang up.

You can try an old guy. We're on the podcast right now. OK, bye. OK, bye. It's Bobby. It's Bobby. Hi, sweetie. What's up, It's Bobby. Hi, sweetie. What's up, babe?

Esther wants to show you something. Esther, send him the picture right now. Okay. What's the picture of what? Esther's birthday present to me. You will not believe it. I like your nails clipping on there. I'm really scared.

You want to see it? Yeah, text it to me. Okay. She sounds excited. Stay on the phone. She's texting it to you right now is she fucking

crazy is she dumb is she dumb and crazy what is wrong with that girl I can't believe you called her a girl she was dropped by many agents actually

what is dropped by as a me on your head no they never held her to hold her to drop her anyway is that real well you're gonna have to get her an ester tattoo now

I have to do it yeah yeah on your neck right over Adam's apple. Alright, babe. I love you. No, tell him that it's... That's so funny. Okay, here's Andrew's

white man happy birthday. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday Filipino. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, Filipino. Happy birthday to you.

That's pretty good. It's Pavarotti. I loved that. That was gorgeous. You can still sense the anger, that deep down anger he has as a ginger. You guys, I'm not kidding. I usually don't believe in a lot of products that say, oh, you know, your hair will grow back thicker, fuller.

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With Manscaped, he'll look and smell like a new man. Use the code TRASH for 20% off plus free shipping at manscaped.com. Get 20% off and free shipping with the code TRASH at manscaped.com. That's 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com and use code trash. Upgrade his 2022 self-care routine with Manscaped. Girl would come over. Why can't you go to her? Because I'm the alpha. I'm a real alpha. A real alpha male. I don't know. I guess a girl

comes over. It's easier for all parties. For you? Yeah. For you? know. I guess a girl comes over. It's easier for all parties. For you? Yeah. For you? Yeah. Okay. Keep going? But I mean, there's got to be a transaction, right? I mean, she has to be getting something from me. That's why I show her my sketches. So then she'll come over and, no, I'm comfortable.

I'm dressed comfortable. They're like, oh, you know what she's thinking? Whoa, I put on silly ears, some lipstick, put on a rosier of my nice son of tits. And all I had to do was show up and be who I really am. I like this guy. So now she feels less than you because she had to try hard. No. Now she feels more comfortable to be herself around me.

That makes me feel more comfortable that if I have an issue with like a performance anxiety, then I could be like, well, hold on. Let's just, you's just watch something. Is that something you actually have? Yeah. Performance anxiety? For sex? Anything I'm performing, including sex, yeah.

Do you have a sad penis? No, happiest part of my body. But I have a sad perspective. Like, do you just, do you rate yourself after? Do you like rank it compared to other times you've had sex? Like what's the anxiety coming from? It's, I would get scared that I don't like having, I never wanted to have sex right away.

It wasn't like we got to, you know, meet each other's families. But on a first date or a second, I didn't want to have sex. But I have this thing built in where I feel like if I don't have sex with her, then she's going to think I'm a loser. So I felt like this need to have sex. And that made that would made me always feel uncomfortable. So if I got to the place where it's like, let's not have sex now. Let's put on some sweatpants.

Watch some of my old videos. Like the pilot that we did. And then it's like, oh, you know what? Hey, look. Daddy's hard. OK. Daddy's hard. It's one way of daddy playing.

Okay, but okay. So now we'll have sex. Or we don't have to. But I can. The door's been unlocked. I need the door to be on. I can't get hard until somebody says I can. Do you announce it like that?

Daddy's hard. It depends on the energy. No, I've never said that like that. Daddy's hard. You know. I'm into that. You are? I mean, just I've turned a corner, Esther.

What I like is really strange these days. You know what? I'll into that. You are? I mean, just, I've turned a corner, Esther. What I like is really strange these days. You know what? I'll say this. What I need is, like, because you're, okay, you're saying, like, you kind of have to get, you have to watch your own sketches to get hard. That's a joke. That's a joke. That's a joke.

I don't think it was. I think you're realizing it after the fact that you need to say it. Are you busting my balls or do you really, are you that far removed from bits that you think I have girls come over and they watch that guy and his friend's sketches from 2010 where I'm pretending I'm in SNL? That guy and his friend. In SNL?

No, I don't have them watch my sketches. Well, I was going to say, because you made it seem like you kind of are nervous to get, and you can't really, you're not sure you're going to get it up. I'm scared of the obligation, the assumption. So I need to get it across quickly. And I would say this, like, hey, listen, I am probably going to be too scared to have sex.

And if that's what you think is going to be happening tonight, we can't do that tonight. Okay, let's do this. We're on a date. I'm at your house. Right. And you say- Change and wash your hands. Say what you just said.

So you just said to me- It would be before you got to my house. You just said to me, really? Yeah. Before you come. Because when a girl comes over, there's the assumption of, oh, something's going on. And maybe, maybe if that is hard. But I don't know.

So I'm just being fun. I'm being fun. I'm being fun. Come on. I just being fun. I'm being fun. I'm being fun. Come on. I'm being fun. I'm being fun. I'm being fun. I'm being fun. I'm being fun.

Bobby Lee. But before, so I'm saying, hey, listen, you're coming over. I don't know what your expectations are. So let me help us get on the same page. I'm probably not going to want to have sex.

I'm not saying nothing's going to happen. I don't know. But like, just know, would you be comfortable coming over? Maybe we'll make out or maybe we'll watch something. nothing maybe something you would say this before they get over there Yeah, go ahead Rick. That's just a whole lot of information. Yeah Walking through someone's door. I don't want to be I

How do I say this I think with class it's safe I mean, I would feel safe walking in like I know exactly what's gonna go down unless it's a trick but If it's a trick, hey, we're not going to have sex. But then I have found that that wasn't my intention, but I have found that that that was good. But still, no, it wasn't a trick. It wasn't a trick. So, OK, so let's say I'm at your house. Yeah. And you're like, we don't let's say you tell me in person, like, I don't want to have sex. And I'm like, well, I don't, I didn't say I wanted to either.

Okay. Oh, I don't date defensive people like you. I don't, I don't enjoy people's company when they're projecting that when I'm talking my truth. What would you like the girl to say when you, if you're like. I'm going to answer you and you're going to say gross. Okay. Here's what I want her to say. if you're like... I'm going to answer you

and you're going to say gross. Okay. Here's what I want her to say. Whatever her truth is, whatever she's feeling, because if she says this to me, hypothetically, Betty, I love you.

You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met. If she said to me, I get that. We don't have to have sex, but I'm probably going to fuck you. And if you're nervous, I'll suck your dick

while you're soft. We'll figure it out. I'll make you cum soft. I'll probably go like this. Come over. We'll figure it out. I'll make you come soft. I'll probably go like this. Come over. That's fine. I just want you to know that I might not be able to get hard until we get to know each other a little.

But if you're okay with that, that would probably get me hard. So it sounds like you have a hard time getting hard. I have. Yeah. Daddy, maybe daddy's not so hard. Daddy is not hard. Yeah, I can't get hard unless I'm interested in the person. I'm the same way. I can't get wet until there's a mental connection.

Yeah. But why do you have them over if you're not interested? Because I'm truthfully not having them over to sleep with me. I don't love leaving the house. Do you like making out? Do you like just making out and like rubbing genitals? Love. I love all of it.

I love it all. But I don't know i don't leave the house much this is my date this is our date if you're into going out on a date with me where the date is you come over watch some sketches and we do whatever i know it's true then come it's not true i know it's true i know guys like him they make you watch their shit that they made i'm gonna start doing that with Bobby just make him watch these episodes it's a joke let me

let me sprinkle it in so I'm not just a fucking snooze fest who relies on her star power to get the bucks fuck me I did it once for like a show come on in in band underwear

Bobby let's see your undies come on in But just get in front of the camera enough that How was it last night, Bobby? Come here. Sit here. Bobby, how was it? I had coffee. I thought it was good to see you. Good to see you. But just get in front of the camera enough that we see. I didn't cancel or something. For what? You look so good. I'm so sexy.

Let them see you. The tan underwear is everything. Do a dance. I just woke up and this is how I sleep. Oh my God. Oh my God. I love it. Bobby, I like your new hair too. He still has all the sleep markings.

You're so careless. It's okay. You caught us in a banana break. We're still good. Oh, I like your new hair, too. It still has all the sleep markings. You're so careless. It's okay. You caught us in a banana break. We're still good. Oh, you have bananas? Yeah. You have less nipple hair than all of us, except Tricia. I shaved down here, too.

Okay. Oh, no. Bye-bye. I love you. No, I see you. Get out of here. Emma, you had a dank man skin. Can I show you?

I can see it. Yes, let's see it. Oh, it looks good. I shaved all the way out to the spot last night. And then I didn't shave in between the sack and the thighs, so it looks weird. Mullity? Yeah.

It's a little mullity. You're my favorite little lesbian. Can you give me a kiss? How was last night? Was it good? I killed for seven minutes. I bet you fucking did. It's going to grow, Bobby.

It's going to grow. I killed for seven minutes. Everyone wearing it in the room i killed the seven men the beginning seven or the last seven i didn't do 15 oh you just got off good for you seven and i just said that's good good and then everyone was like and i go kirk fox was this at the store yeah did Kirk do more

you can do whatever you want yeah just do whatever you want I'll do seven I do 70 sometimes because fuck faces do 20 or 30 yeah right so if you do seven

it all did you say fuck faces fuck faces I feel like cute like sometimes do that no bye babe bye

she liked it until it got to it was like an expose is he on camera this is what I love about Bobby he didn't want to come in Bye, babe. She liked it until it got to, it was like an expose. Is he on camera? This is what I love about Bobby. He didn't want to come in, but once we got him. High five, high five. Bye, Bobby.

Is there a Red Bull in there? There should be. Like, not his job. Is there a Red Bull in there? There should be. There isn't. That's the funniest interaction I've ever heard in my life. Is that how he sleeps? Yeah. That is so funny. In my panty? Yeah. Oh, that's a yard? We share. There isn't. That's the funniest interaction I've ever heard in my life. Is that how he sleeps? Yeah.

In my panty? Yeah. We share. We share underwear. I love it. What is it? I got one in my bag. I always carry one in my bag. It's nice and warmed. Wait, you guys don't share underwear with your lovers? Are you crazy? No. No, I cannot fit into his underwear.

We share clothes. All of our, from head to toe, socks, everything, we share clothes. Yeah. All of our, from head to toe, socks, everything, we share everything. It's perfect because he wears everything under his...

He puts the holes in the socks, you stick your toes through them. The socks she was wearing last time were rough. Well, he wears everything under his belly, so he actually fits, he buys pants sized to me

and we share. Yeah. That's cute. I love his clothes. He's skinny. He's so skinny. Yeah. It's so weird how I,

I've always said this too. I feel like everyone looks better naked. I really do. I agree. I think that too. I feel like me, I look better naked. I don't look as like fat naked.

I don't know. Clothes can bulk you up if you don't want to dress. Yeah. More people should just be naked. He looks so skinny. I was like, oh my gosh. So I went,

cause he always calls himself like what? Like a meatball or something. And I'm like, oh, he's like tiny. He's like a spaghetti noodle. It's so cute. Wait, I want himself like a meatball or something. And I'm like, oh, he's like tiny. He's like a spaghetti noodle. It's so cute. Wait, I want to ask a question before we reset.

Do your parents – have your parents adopted the nickname for you, Go-Go Queen? No, but if you want to actually go there and have me tell you what happened with my parents, we may need to cut this out, but I can't actually keep it in any longer. So I was on a morning walk with my mom and dad the first day i got to their house and my dad goes wow kalilah sure loves ass licking by the way you might think that's the bad part that's that's the part that didn't even bother me kalilah sure loves ass licking and my mom goes wait a second what skull fucking oh oh she goes oh i just realized what it is that's what your dad does to me yes mary oh my god mary good for you girl just hang back do you understand

how you've done enough you do the dishes mary you do the dishes, Mary. You do the dishes. Your time is off. The trauma, the actual sexual trauma that I am living with now. I like when you said sexual trauma. I just imagined a saxophone. And then they brought it up again later at dinner because guess what fucking holiday it was this past weekend? Dia de los Muertos. My birthday. So there's skulls everywhere for Day of the Dead at the Mexican restaurant we went to.

Did your dad just go up and fuck all of them? And my dad just goes, points to the skulls. And my mom's like. And finally it got really serious. And I was like, hey, mom, do you want a picture of your mom and dad fucking doing that? And she's like, oh, okay. So that's what I'm dealing with.

Thanks to this hit show. I think that we should, as a team or as girls reclaim skull fucking because it's always been something that dudes have you know bragged about doing to girls and i think what they don't realize is like we're lazy yeah we wouldn't we don't want our neck to go back and forth so we just take it and the jokes on fuck joke's on them. A million percent. I also will say I like the word face fuck a little better, maybe because my parents ruined skull fuck for me,

but I 100% actually think that you have started here on this show a feminist movement that's pro-face fucking. And I texted George, I want to make shirts that say either, I want it skull fuck me, I'm a slug or like face fuck me, I'm a feminist because I feel like we are creating the positive face fuck movement. NNM. We're manifesting that all you women out there just lean back and open up. Okay. No neck movement, ladies.

Do not move a muscle. You can't. You can't. If you're a slug, we don't do neck movement. We don't have necks we just lay back and take it and they think they're doing something to us but it's really we're winning yeah we're not doing any work no calories burned during blow jobs anymore this is iconic apparently my mom and stepdad still are very active and um that knowledge was that

information was dropped on me about two weeks ago. Excuse me. Please tell me more. Well, you know, my mom's a fucking cyborg, right? Yeah. We know that she probably like couldn't hardcore fuck still. But I'm really surprised. My stepdad's like well into his 70s and he's you know, he's on a lot of meds and apparently he still likes to fuck.

My parents haven't fucked since 1991. My parents would always make jokes about how they didn't i'm like okay literally i'm jealous i've never been more jealous well yeah i guess it's good they love each other best friends now maybe they fuck i don't know there was one actually there was one valentine's day that's true they also might be really good at keeping it when i was leaving when i was when i was living at home and i didn't have any friends my parents were like uh do you mind or is that anniversary or something like can you like go out like and i was like i literally can't i have no friends i had no one to go hang out with and i just heard like oh slow and slow and deep well they got to make it last they only do it once a decade slow

fucking's good i like that slow fuck how did you feel about it you gotta have slow yeah slow first did it mess you up it was gross but i was happy for them does you does it mess you up to know that your mom is fucking your stepdad because i have a theory because it doesn't gross my sister out as much as it does to me because my dad is her stepdad so i'm like is it easier if it should be worse it should be worse her mom's getting plowed by some strange man my mom does the plowing in this one so i don't feel as bad as your mom with pegs or it's not dad thank you guys you guys have called her up call her up my mom i mean it's weird because they're both control freaks so like i don't know how that works. Who takes charge?

I feel like you do. You come in and you're like, listen, I'm taking control of this. You are on the bottom today. You're on the top. I would love for you to do that for me and Dave. But just choreograph something for us to do. Be in the room when you fuck. Made it too easy yet again.

You really are just, it's like, I feel like I'm at the batting cage as you do. And it's like really slow. My life is so easy when I'm around. It's like people think I'm like a comedic genius because you're such a fucking ding-dong. You're such a layup. It's like the easiest moments. I literally, when we're getting out of the car, I was like, let's go do our hit podcast that is the easiest thing in the world to do.

It is because you're a slug. My dad literally this weekend said to me, he's like, to me, Esther, your comedic strength is that you make other people funnier. You really do. I was like, thanks, dad. Somebody told me once that you like your ass elite. Oh, my God. Wait, where's the shame in that i do too no but like you're the only guy who'll know like it's out there no no no no no but what i'm not

gonna say the person's piece people people also shame on that person for fucking no soul and telling it's not he has it wrong if you let me just this. Let's go back to a restaurant analogy, okay? If I eat an average hot dog at a hot dog stand, right? I'm going to be like, I'm not going to tell anybody about it, right? The only way I could tell somebody to go to this hot dog stand is if this hot dog was the best hot dog I've ever eaten. That's how people explain eating a restaurant. Oh, no. I feel like that's the title of my biopic.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eating an average hot dog for eight years that's my biopic do you a favor fuck you i'm sorry why won't he eat your ass um he's just that's just not she's a hot girl that's like i know even if i were to spread it even if it was nicely soaped and scrubbed with a really bad... Oh, really? Last night? You know what? Okay, let's get to... I hate your flirt sexual tactics. They don't work. They don't work. Esther, this is what he does. Last night, right, she goes... Like a kid, he will, like, bop you, wet will you, and he thinks that I'm supposed to want to have sex after that.

This is not what I'm doing. You go, bop. I don't do bop. Esther, this is what I did last night. You know that machine? The massage machine that you guys got? Yeah, the Theragun. You all got one, right? She goes, do this on my leg. Right. So I go,

she had her legs out and her underwear. So she's kind of, you know, I really wanted a massage. I know. I'm using the machine. Right. But while I'm doing it,

I'm. No, but he wasn't even kissing my leg. Like Gina Darling said, he was kissing the bed. No, I was kissing your ass. You weren't.

You were like kissing the sheets. No, I was kissing your ass. And you're like, you know, I was kissing your ass. And you're were like kissing the sheets no i was kissing your ass you're like you know i was kissing your ass and you're like that that's i don't want that right now i was i'm sore i need a real massage there's a time for that but see you're not being very truthful other times you do bop and wet willy but last night i didn't and don't anyway esther so you're what's a signal that you give your partner? What's the correct way to signal a partner? Just speak in general that sex is impending, that something is about to happen.

Like text like, hey, want to have sex? Meet in the bedroom. Oh, that's good. Can I ask you about your asshole? Yes. So you are obsessed with this whole narrative. For years, you've brought this up for years because i've heard about his legend for years you bring up this narrative that you are

just attached to by just so tightly that yes guys in the past have have been drawn towards eating my ass the guys i've dated i i moved out here to la i was fresh from skokie illinois nobody had ever even tried to do that so i was very surprised when i started dating and guys just went straight for it and i was like wow like why yeah it was very new to me it was exotic and then it just became something like it was like a talking point like wow no it was explained to me i'm sorry i like okay shame again shame on that person for detailing not just one person no well i want to hear this several people i'm angry for you i know i know several people all right if it was just one

i would just let it go as hearsay okay okay all right she she threatens litigation by the way And I'm not naming names So there's no legal matter here But several folks Said that I know Bobby You don't like eating ass I go I don't like it They go but that you would

And I'm like that always struck me They did not say that No they did not say that. Yes, yes. No, they did not. That always struck me as- You have a mythical asshole. No, they did not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What does your asshole look like that it's so fucking mythical and legendary?

So for me, it's always been, what's down there? MSG? MSG. I want to know. Yeah, yeah. Is it a different color or flavor? What is it? No, it's just somebody was hyped on me and they were just bragging about me.

That's what it was. That is a crazy thing to say. I'd be proud of it. All buttholes are the same. Apparently not. Turns out there are levels to this game. I think we should crash Jules' prom tonight

and have a redo. And I think we should dance our little hearts out. It's my first prom. And it would be Annie's first prom. We could take pictures. We didn't have a sports team. Why is George laughing like this was already planned and that I'm being sprung? What?

Oh, my God. You're so paranoid. It's so funny. Is this like a... What's going on? Is this real? I think that we should drop some 50s down, chaperone, and just tear it up. You're all looking at me like you all knew this was coming.

And like, if I did this, Esther, Jules would never speak to me again. And also, let's be real. It would be like pig's blood from Carrie. You would fucking kill us. By the way, my dream is for pig's blood to fall on you. And I know it would be the worst thing that ever happened to you, but I just want you to know that there's a dream in my heart. That is inappropriate to say.

Here comes Jules with her dress. Come on in Jules. Oh my God. Oh my God. It's tie dye. It's so cute. Are you upset? They stole your thing.

Where did you get it? The music. It's retrofets. That's this is gorgeous. The brand. Oh my God. Do you have a boyfriend no oh you're gonna leave you're so hot this is so hot now you're definitely gonna beat up esther oh my god jules that dress i feel like an old lady like i'm like oh my god look at the pretty you want to like pinch your cheeks yeah wait hang on a second so jules you don't have a date right that was No. That was a choice?

Yeah. Really? Yeah, we tried to offer her some date potentials and she was like, no, I'm going alone. Who, like Christy Stefano? Who'd you offer? Really all of us. Giannis or Chris?

Let's settle it. And so what advice would you give to a shy girl going to prom in terms of like how you get in on the dance floor? You, I think you just do whatever like or just own what you're doing you're going by yourself you don't have a date like you look great just own that because the only thing that matters is you being confident so just dance by yourself oh she's getting so uncomfortable dance like no one's watching jules also on stand like no one's filming you that's it you the way you stand the way you're very like this is not going to catch you a dick girl so you gotta stand it will but it's not it's gonna be someone that's

like i can take advantage of her yeah it's not gonna be the dick you want shoulders up shoulders up oh god we're parents also i don't know if you know this, but we've all... Yes, up higher, higher, higher. I love telling people to put their chin up. There you go, that's it. One leg up, knee up. Also Jules, you don't know this, but we've all paid our $50 to be your chaperones tonight. Huh?

So we're just gonna tear it up on the dance floor. Guess who's gonna be in the pictures with you. And that's your date. So we're just going to tear it up on the dance floor. Guess who's going to be in the pictures with you. And that's your date. Jules, you look so stunning in this dress. I knew you'd love it, Esther. I wish Jules could say it back to you. You look so stunted.

It's so beautiful. It looks great. Did you try a bunch on? No, that's right off online. She was like, that's the one. That was the one? And it just fit her body. How unfair is life my god all right jules well thank you for your time we'll see you tonight on the dance floor okay bye oh my god she's upset with you do you have a thong

i see your panty line no wear whatever underwear you want don't listen to this grim groomer. What do you think she should do with her hair? Wavy or pinned like sleek down? Ooh, sleek, I think. I feel like the wavy though goes with the dress more. It's kind of like free spirit. I feel like for 90s sake, it would be sleek with like barrettes. And it would clash with the style of the foot. Oh, with this. With this.

Yeah. With the little seam thing. So she really has prom there's really prom they really have fun and they all got all the kids got tested or show their vax cards oh my god i thought you meant sexual ssds i was like they're being this open about it they can just go fuck freely i'm like this is so unfair we had to go to bathrooms can i just say you look so hot. This is crazy. I do. Yes. I'm sad I missed the swim cap.

Oh, you see the fake modesty over there? No, she has low self-esteem. I have low self-esteem. He and he knows me. She has low self-esteem. It's starting to get frustrating. I'm going to start slapping you around. Wait, hang on.

I'm going to pistol whip your ass until you really run out. Well, it makes sense. You know, if she had better self-esteem, she would be with a hotter dude. Yeah. How do you feel about your model fiance? By the way, congratulations. Yeah, well, I mean, it's all about, I think women, y'all know how to look at other things.

Yeah. You know what I mean? This was the fake fight we got in. I'm so sorry about that. Can I apologize years later? Here we go. I wanna make a public apology. No, no, no, it was fine when we had the fight.

I thought we squashed it until I'm looking at this clip that people sent me from this fucking podcast. Don't you love that? Where you guys are just, first of all, her just going like, can I tell you something Eric Griffin said to me? Like, just out of nowhere, I said, you know what? You should wear lingerie. That's not what the fuck happened. And what did I do on Monday? I understand, but like.

I wore lingerie on to her back. Oh that's so funny. It didn't help all. And then she says and then this one jumps in. Oh well let me tell you. And then you even said this. I don't even remember what it was about. And then you just you know I was like. And thank God Esther was just like mmm it's gonna be quiet.

This isn't gonna go well. Let's just say Esther doesn't dip her toe in the pool okay. She didn't even want to show up today. Esther doesn't know how to swim. Let's just say Esther doesn't dip her toe in the pool. She didn't even want to show up today. Esther doesn't know how to swim. Let's just say that. I wanted to show you. Not only do I have...

Yeah, you want to say consent? Consent. Get their pasties. They look great. You're so lucky. That could really have been a mangled mess. She had a boob job and then she got rid of the boob job. He knows.

He was there the day after I took my titties out i was trying to look i was trying to see it no i mean i get it you're like no medically i would like to say curious but it's like it's like you know look as a dude we have such a stupid perspective on breast surgery you know and i it changed i talking to a friend of mine one time and she rocked my world with how she said it because it's like you know uh she got a she had big titties that were fake you know and she said i got rid of them because i was just tired of the attention now a guy perspective is what do you mean you're tired of the attention that's why you got them you want to have big you know and then she said to me she was like no i just wanted to i wanted to feel like

a woman i wanted to wear dresses a certain way. I wanted to, you know, I just, you know, and I was like, oh. They do look so good in shirts. Like, I do love a cover fake titty. They did it on me. It made me look like. Well, it just turned you into a different thing. And if you have the self-esteem you have, right, which it you're you're good you've worked on it though so it's like you can take a compliment but

people that have like true low self-esteem when someone calls them hot it like almost hurts them because it's like that's not how i feel yeah i think that's mostly what you nailed you actually nailed it right there we all feel that i feel great you guys can compliment me all you want i know i'm amazing it's it took a while to get here but are you looking at me like that i'm drinking in drinking in she's always in hawaii coming back glowing do i look pregnant yeah no you look great i don't you didn't look pregnant last time you looked like you had gotten fillers or something or botox oh from hawaii and from hawaii you mean yes so the tan will do but my tan has faded so the fillers

the Botox look is gone I hold this by the way because my hands sweat a lot so if you ever see that and it annoys you trust me this is a coping mechanism

we've been through this yeah I know I just need to remind people I want everyone to know that she has a hole that's a traumatization I'm convinced that all of your like

ailments are things that just make you hotter to men because like you have sweaty hands. So it's like easier to give a hand job. It's true. You said that you can't grow your vagina hair. Yeah, that is true. God is just gifting me all of these amazing things.

But that ass hair really does grow. The ass hair is a problem. It's throwing out. You know what? I hate to tell you guys, but that's coming. The growth has stopped there, too. Well, I manscaped. I do a light manscaping and then I kind of just let.

Let's be honest. There's nothing light about your manscaping. The light, the LED light. I did a medical grade. I manscape, but it's not. It's very sloppy. Guys do have power when they make you feel a little like they could leave you at any point. Like the fact that I know Todd will be with me till my last breath.

I really do very little for him. It is true. They got to keep you kind of thirsty. Yeah. He needs to flirt with someone in front of him. He never he's so he's such a good boy. I'm like, you got to do something. Why is that? God, that is a terrible thing about me.

What? Is that when I'm shown like total love and devotion, it's almost like I don't know what to do with it because it's not what I'm familiar with. Like my mom kept me thirsty for her love. I'm still thirsty for her, you know, like some validation from her. So it's like those are the types of relationship I had growing up. So it's the same ones that I have with men. So my ex was probably the greatest guy you could ever meet. I just could not get there. Yeah.

And because I was young and stupid. Maybe now. Let's try it. Let's bring him back on. But why are you down? Why does it work with Bobby, but it didn't work with the ex? Because he keeps me so thirsty. He gives me no love and affection. I'm just always like, can you just touch my hair today? Faster when I see the way you look. And then I see that giant sparkler on your finger. What do you mean? Because you look like such a little, my little baby.

Like a little kid? Oh, you're my little baby that's engaged, you know? Wait, congrats. We're both engaged. Is your engagement real or fake? Mine's fake. Mine's fake. I mean, what is engagement?

It's a fake made up thing anyway. Like, are you actually going to get married? Yeah. Yeah. Today I hit up the jeweler that Bobby flaked on. And I was like, so what's the deal? Has he paid you? And he was like, I don't think I'm supposed to say anything.

You know, like don't. That is so funny. But I strong-armed him into giving me an answer. And? Has he paid you? Mm-mm. So he wants to marry you, but he's broke right now. Well, I think that he just doesn't know how to do anything.

Yeah, he's not broke. But the best example of Bobby is that when he was younger, his car had like too many tickets. No, he couldn't find his car. So he just bought a new car. Right. Or let's suppose a flat tire. God forbid you call AAA. No, you just buy a new one the next day.

You just leave it. I'm a handler. Yeah. I'm a fucking zookeeper. A zookeeper? Yeah, that's what I am. That's true. An animal trainer.

And then you add Annie and me into the mix. You're a full blown zoo am. That's true. An animal trainer. And then you add Annie and me into the mix, you're a full-blown dookie. That's – wow. Shout out, by the way, Nicholas Potash. So he makes these amazing like not standard jewelry. And I was really excited because he was a fan of the show and he was like, hey, let me make your engagement ring. And I went on bobby's dms because bobby's like you do it you set it up oh my god he makes you do everything yeah he

made me set up my own um he was like tell him exactly yeah not a finger was lifted on his end does he not have like a buddy who you could at least pretend? I'm his buddy. Yeah. Wait, so is it happening? Is he getting it? It's not. It's not happening, Esther. Now, I know. I'm going to have to come out of pocket for my own ring. Oh, Britney Spears style.

I think she did that with K-Fed. Wait, how much did K-Fed really make at that time? Not a lot. If he was a backup dancer, then those opportunities are not consistent. These jeans were ripped naturally. I've had them since I was 15 years old. That's such a funny thing to bring up.

I'm so jealous because I fucking read a magazine article once that said Halle Berry kept a pair of jeans since she was 15 so she could always know that she'd fit into them. So then I was, I read that when I was 15. I was like, I'm going to save this pair of jeans, but now I she fit into them. So then I was, I read that when I was 15, I was like, I'm gonna stay this pair of jeans, but now I can't find them.

So it's like my goal, I have to find those jeans. They're a toddler too. I can't, oh my God. I want you guys to actually wear these jeans because they are so soft, but so fragile at this point. Like any movement I could come and done. It's so sad though for me, like by the way, I would bust them and then all of a sudden

the leg would be flapping open. And also also when some when jeans are baggy on one person and then the other person puts them on and it's like well i guess these pants aren't traveling sisters oh boy but the best is when a rip jean has like a secretly sexy rip like how you have so you can kind of see your underwear like do you know the ones where it's like right under the butt cheek i have a couple of those that's me to me is sexier than lingerie how do you well let's be real lingerie has that ever been in your life that was so weird it's too much too big of a swing do you guys wear lingerie no you can't even say it laundry laundry my mom calls it lingerie oh it's so cute. Darling, maybe you should try to impress Bobby with some lingerie.

I love that even your mom's like, listen, you've let yourself go. You're going to lose this. You're going to lose this situation. No, and you know, Eric Griffin once told me something that I'll never forget. And it pissed me off to no end, which is maybe you should walk around the house in more lacy things. Why did he say that to you? Eric Griffin notoriously says the most triggering, annoying things like a man could say.

We did a pilot for a show where we were going to like beat Uber drivers that were taking people to like go get their boyfriends back. I was like, so it was this idea that Eric's like, this is going to sell. And I'm like, I don't even know what the idea is. It makes sense that you and Eric were cast as Uber drivers. And also, when do you have two Uber drivers? That's how bad we are. We needed like a helper.

But we were like, you know, had to do these like fake tests or like pretending to drive. And I can't tell you how many times I was genuinely screaming at him like, Eric! Because he was like, women are so shallow so shallow i'm like my boyfriend is 350 pounds i'm shallow it was so annoying i do meanwhile he has like a model girlfriend i'm like oh we're sure i think that's what happened i think he looked at his his own model-esque perfect looking girlfriend and then looked at me and he probably thought bobby's my best friend you could probably try a little bit harder i think he he was trying to help Bobby out. But Bobby, what he doesn't know is that Bobby doesn't like that stuff.

No, it's weird. That's a specific guy likes lingerie. Lingerie is like hard because I feel like the way I picture it is never the way I look in it. And it's so traumatic when you see yourself in like the super, it just. Lingerie in your size is literally pedophilic. I mean, that's like, they don't have common children sizes. I like the idea that like the garter like comes up to here on you.

I have a proposition. You put the crotchless part over your head. I have a proposition. I think that we should work through our lingerie trauma and we should have a lingerie episode. Okay. Okay. injury trauma and we should have a lingerie episode okay okay so we bring our fav well we bring what we would never wear a type of lingerie that we would never wear in the bedroom do we get it for each other no no no you will bring me like titless vaginalists like nipple covers that's what

i'll bring you wait can i can we also do a bathing suit day because i have real bathing suit trauma right can we do like a bathing suit episode can i get like 12 weeks no for that no we don't get to just spring it on i think that's the point yeah we just spring it on and we love the body we're in yes we'll spring it on with a side bush everything you know what i will recommend which i would do is like high i don't need any recommendations from you high waist high waist high waist you know does not look good on me at all oh my god i promise you guys barbie doll because no because you know how she's like it covers my like sick hard ass yeah it's not good for me it's not it makes me look even boxier than i am because if

you know the the trend of like the really high cut bikini yeah and but it's kind of low in the front i will show you guys i will prove it to you that it's not my best look i look better with low lower riding even though i hate low ride stuff my body looks better in lower i would look elongated right like yes yeah i would kill to look better in low riding like i would have you look cute in low riding you have like you know you have you have like the belly like remember when britney this is again creepy but this was the world when she did the first like hit me baby one more time and she had like the little bit of a belly yeah you have like that thank you i i have a little more but i will take the compliment graciously i mean you are wearing this high but you also had to fold it over.

You're a confusing specimen. Thank you. It doesn't quite fit, but then it also is too big. We're talking about the skirt. They've figured it out. Okay. Should we take a banana break? So instead of, we're having a banana break, but what special item do you have for us today, George?

Instead of bananas? Today, I have found the haunted ghost pepper Pockys. Oh my God. Real peppers, real heat. I've heard of ghost peppers. But what do we have after it? Liquid death water. No, motherfucker.

You don't give us a, you got to have the out. I'll tell you what we'll have after it bloody assholes we'll have okay i like esther esther you got to use the thing again so we can use your squirtle to oh my god you you have to admit that that thing made you have to pee right no you know what it did i already had to pee and it made it that I could no longer deny it So what I said Okay, I am gonna try these but only because the packaging is cute They actually really good. Oh, she hasn't swallowed yet. And they look like Doritos. Oh my god, we have nothing to cure it. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god

That is a producer's job to have some milk or yogurt. Oh my god. oh my god oh my god oh my god that is a producer oh my god job to have some milk or yogurt oh my god oh my god banana banana just enjoy it annie oh now that's a good remedy oh my god give me the banana george george you want this banana ew it's so gross george george like, the only cure is my ginger dick. Whoa, George, you're married. The way he said it, you want this banana? I'm so confused because it does taste good. And why is it taking him this long to make that? I do love chips, but it is so...

I'm okay. I'm okay. But I think what I know of this is that it gets worse. It hit me instantly. The problem is I like chips. Me too. That's what I'm saying is I want to eat them. I think my hunger for chips is overriding the pain.

It is going down my body. George, do you have any mild chips over there? It's at my nipples now. Do you want to put the stuff up my butt now? Do I? With these spicy chip hands? Well, my butt needs it now after these chips. I'm four bites into my banana and I'm still on fire.

Go ahead and say this combo, quite something. You're still going. Yeah. Cause we're fatties. We love good chip. Have to conquer my fears. Oh my God, I'm still on fire. It's pretty hot.

George, why don't you have a chip? I don't have a, like a camera close up on me. That's the problem. I didn't do my makeup today. After your filthy... The banana's not helping it. It's not. It's not?

It's cold for a second. It's like, it's not a carrot. One time, Bobby was having really bad diarrhea at 7-Eleven. I was like, eat a banana. Can I tell you, I'm trying to be just proud that you're eating bananas now and not livid? Wait, what? But you didn't want to eat them for so long, and now? I...

You had to come to Jesus Banana Month? I don't really like bananas, but my parents convinced me that they're really good for you, and you might as well just eat them. But I definitely cannot eat a whole banana. Do you have consistency issues with them or the taste? No, it's just like, it's just not that good. So I'm like, it's not really worth my ingested calories. It's so well packaged, it's such a good snack.

But do you like banana flavored like Laffy Taffy? No, no one does except for you. Look at him, look at George, look at George, look at George turn red. Oh no. Oh my God, his neck is red. Where's the milk, George? George, do you have any chips that are not spicy? I would probably pay a thousand dollars for one. Um, I don't think so, but we'll see. It's survivable, like I could eat a whole

bag if I had to, if there was money involved. Yeah. It just made me want chips. Uh-huh. Oh, I bet my lips are going to get puffy. Oh, what a gift. Oh, I forgot about Cheetos. I haven't had them since I tried them on the show. I don't fucking ginger. Oh.

Like a blonde ginger. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I forgot. Do you consider yourself a ginger? No. Blonde? No, I'm blonde. You're blonde I forgot. Do you consider yourself a ginger? No. Blonde? No, I'm blonde.

You're blonde. Okay. That's the gingerest ginger. No. Is that the ginger response? It's the white walker. It's the white walker of gingers. Are Asians allowed to say ginger?

We used it in cooking, but... I like gingers. I've banged a bunch of gingers. I'm fans of gingers, so that's why I think I can make fun. Sexually aggressive, the ones I've been with, in a good way. I am not a ginger, for people who think she's hinting at me. My, yeah, my mouth, my lips, my tongue.

There's tingles. You're pussy. What is that, Bean Boozled? Okay, here's what I think we should just do, is everyone gets a packet. We just eat them? And then you just tell me what you think you're experiencing. You said everybody.

I'll play too. Oh, my God. Well, it is candy. Extra flavor. So, okay. Well, the smells are a little. Basically, what this is, is you eat a flavor. And like, let's say I have a blue one and I have to eat it.

And it's either going to taste like berry blue or like's say i have a blue one and i have to eat it and it's either going to taste like berry blue or like toothpaste you have a blue one yeah i have this is not that bad what color do you have i'll tell you which one are you going to eat well tell me what my options are here why don't you eat the green one so the green one is either juicy pear or booger let us in here oh it's it's booger it's grass it's booger it's not what color did you do booger dude i'm gonna do white oh wait no i started doing wait white is either coconut or spoiled milk okay the one you have to do please do the one that's strawberry banana strawberry banana or dead fish that's strawberry i'm so mad i really want to

what's the white one give me give me what's the white one white one is is coconut or spoiled milk i got it too okay i'm gonna do blue coconut toothpaste isn't bad but it's not good candy that's such a like esther bad one i've never brushed my teeth i put in my mouth every day what is that what another toothpaste i think that's a spoiled milk one i need to have a good one i know i want a good one these are fun no not anymore no the fun stopped right there are we signing off for the week that one tasted actually pretty

rotten i don't like oh no it tastes like dead fish but so did every dead fish fed me on this show that's all we've been eating every week i want out guys what do you have prepared for us today oh my god what is bryce this is dung it i love this stuff what is it it's a dried fish oh no i grew up on this shit it's the best no i start scrape your tongue with that um my family business my not my family business my uncle's business was making these was drying up like when you go to your uncle's house there was just like dried fish are you gonna eat it any of course when am i not it's actually very good you think that's better worse than this definitely not no what is that no what is it oh why is mine baby food this should go to esther

no no no this is baby food this is for esther annie don't worry you're gonna eat what i'm holding this is absolutely not i know what it is i've seen theseie don't worry you're gonna eat what i'm holding this is absolutely not i know what it is i've seen these at kids parties when i used to babysit it's fucking cricket is that because you weren't you weren't invited when you were a kid what happened take it off my lap take it off my lap who dude? Dude. Who is in trouble? Why did you bring me these? What is it? Dude, it's fucking full on crickets. Oh, my God.

Dude. Dude. I'll get it. I'll get it. I'll get it. I'll take the crickets. You're screaming like they're alive. Dude.

Oh, my God. Don't look. I cannot look at them. They're huge, whole crickets. Honestly, what's in the skirt is scarier to me dude why what is this just regular baby food or is it like yeah you got flavored give her those crickets those are for her this price made a mistake oh my god if this had like flown up and all of them flung on esther what a happy accent can i just say i don't want any kind of jokes.

No one's done anything to you. Pranks. I would love to just see you try the fish, and then I do want to see you eat the crickets. Do you see? I just want you to see. We've summed it up. Where'd you get these?

Are these fresh? All right, so I do want to say it has an aroma of, oh, day Esther. It does not. Oh, day five day old. i would be drawing you a bath too esther i eat a lot of pineapple okay okay these are crickets all right look at it these are salt and vinegar are you gonna eat it kalilah yeah i'm gonna try i don't like that it doesn't just break it's not my first cricket okay it is kind of gross it does i feel like you know what

they're usually supposed to be a lot crunchier annie but it's very tasty maybe hot sauce yeah it's it's they're not as fresh as i wanted them to be but if you had real good like blood with rice oh my god i think i could really wait with rice and what like fried fish and stuff it will dried fish with a little bit of vinegar in it. The best. Here, I'm going to have a cricket. I could see us like watching TV and me just really getting into these. Would you like a cricket, madam? Yeah. Oh, rest in peace, little buddy. Look how horny she sounded when she said that.

I'm sorry that your life was taken for snacks. Are you fucking kidding me? I don't even eat my... Bryce, you know I'm vegetarian. Have you had these before? I've eaten crickets before, yeah. But I haven't had these particular ones, no. Annie, you're really, like, okay with this?

Yes, you nerd. In one, two, three. Oh, delicious. It's delicious, Esther. Peanutty. Nothing crickety about it at all. Peanutty. I actually like the fish better though

but there's no taste even it's just like a chip i'm sorry mr cricket should we move on to icy marshmallows do we have more treats this week are we trying an ester delicate delicacy i is that what it is i mean ester's delicacy is such a joke ester will make it for us she knows what is weird about this by the way? There's nothing weird. It's just called dry s'mores. Thank you so much. And a lot of people, what they like to do is they sit by a campfire.

They melt their marshmallows and their chocolate. And they eat like a gushy, mushy s'mores. But I'm telling you, dry, raw s'mores, just all non-cooked is delicious you trying to claim s'mores as your own is wild right now so and i want you guys to tell me are you think if you think like oh no of course we should roast this instead or if you kind of like it dry well i'm i'm kind of i have an aversion to things that might stab the roof of my mouth and oh that's a terrible feeling yeah you know when you eat chips and they oh you take a chip the wrong direction wrong direction it just slices you down the whole way okay i want to know what are you coughing up salsa what are your

expectations um i feel i'm afraid it tastes exactly like i know it's gonna taste because we've all had s'mores before sometimes they're not burnt they're not really like that high you know here we go for it sometimes they're not burnt they're not really like that high you know here we go it's too messy after no i mean it's good all the ingredients are delicious i just don't like i would like it a little like melty though i love it this way i think it's so much better this way the chocolate does taste better this way i love it this way but I think it's so much better this way. The chocolate does taste better this way. I love it this way. But going from the fish to cricket to this made it all the more delicious, I have to say.

I want to say I had a little appetizer that you didn't have. Well, you guys, thank you for listening to this week's Bloodbath. That was so much shirt. I feel gross. It's a mukbang. This show is turning into a full

blown mukbang every week we appreciate you please go to iTunes and give us five stars six stars seven stars all the stars we love you and we'll see you next week can I ask you a question yeah is your response always here comes a

guy in whatever setting and he's clearly trying to get with you. You entertain this or is there ever anything in you just to be like, this is not going to happen? Yeah. But I'm saying like, do you ever do that? Or if you don't, why not? Sometimes I do it and sometimes I don't, right? So sometimes it's like, it depends on what the situation is.

Like if it's someone who is like I'm working with, you kind of have to like there's a dance you have to do. I mean, it's like guys are always doing some bullshit, but it's like I you it's just like you just be gross. She's right. There's always a dance. And it's like I'm not going to fucking me too. I'm not going to be like this guy is attracted to me or whatever.

It's like, he's just like shooting a shot. I let people shoot their shot once. Same. If they do it again, I'm like, and I've already said no. That's like, that's a fucking violation. That's a problem. And he's a thousand percent correct. It's like, I'm not supposed to assume that he knows I have a boyfriend.

He's shooting his shot, right? So in that moment, I'm polite. And I take on like whatever advances he's putting on. Because I in that moment i'm polite and i i take on like whatever advances he's putting on because i don't he doesn't know but in that moment where he's like asking for my number and i'm just like hey like no thanks like you know i'm not interested i don't even say i have a boyfriend i say i'm not interested yeah only because it's like i'm not saying no because i have a boyfriend i'm saying no because it's no well there's like back in the day i used to that's a whole different thing because that makes him feel like if the boyfriend was out

of the picture. Right, right. And then sometimes it's like, sometimes you're like, maybe I do want to just give this guy the ego thing. And it's like, sorry, I'm just like not available now or whatever, you know, just like let them feel fine. And then they go off. Sometimes, yeah.

And that's like, who knows? That's like from whatever my own bullshit is from my dad and my brothers and guys I dated when I was a kid. Well, it's even in that moment there. Like when I was younger, I used to feel codependent where I'm like, I don't want anyone to walk away feeling bad. Yeah. But like as I've gotten a little bit like where I am now, I'm just like, I'm just too tired to take care of anyone's feelings anymore. And it's better for them, too, right?

To know like to know the truth. I mean, you should know what your batting average is. like to know the truth i mean you should know what your batting average is you should know the truth about it but that's what i'm saying surprisingly i would always prefer i prefer somebody just being like no thank you yeah and i'm just like okay cool boom done well you know a lot of guys actually take it pretty well exactly like they take it pretty well a lot of guys that's what i'm trying to say i I think that like, I feel like you're going to get the visceral response that you probably need anyway. Like,

so I'm saying like, if you go, no, and if the guy's like, well, fuck you, then it's like, well,

I'll say this is why I'm saying no. Yeah. Or a guy's going to be like, I had a guy. So I had a, like a producer guy that knew me. This project I was working on. And I would get like,

I was going in like not every time, you know, like, so I wasn get like I was going in like not every time you know like so I wasn't like a regular writer on the show and he fucking leaned in for kiss and I was so pissed and I immediately like I was like no dude so annoyed it's just so annoying it's like you're in like you are the one that hires me like fuck you and so I was so annoyed because and I used to have so much fun with him I used to like hang out with him all the time. And it was like, are you serious, dude? And then the minute I was single, he did that. And then I was like, all right, shoot your shot, whatever.

Maybe you just like me. And then maybe obviously liked you. Yeah, I know. It's not always like, but it's just a fucking so annoying. It's like, can we do it when the fucking show's over? But and also, can we not do it? I didn't want to do it anyway. But so I was like, like, no.

And then I left and then I texted him. I was like, so when am I coming in the room again? Like immediately, like I'm not like forfeiting my fucking job. You know, like I'm just like, hey, remember, we work together and I'm coming in. The other end of that, though, is there are moments that Annie and I talk about where it's like it's very clear someone's coming on to you and you say no. But when I have a girl's night out, the rules change a little bit and the rules change on the dance floor.

So I always tell Bobby this, I call it my, it's called HF, which is heavy flirting, but I take no numbers. I take no names. I don't even look at their fucking faces. I thought that made a whole form. I thought it was heavy flow.

I was like, oh my gosh, she's bleeding on them? That's great. And so let's say, for instance, I'm dancing. There's someone behind me, and I'm just dancing. I will grind up on whatever dick there is behind me, not even turn around to look at their face. The song is over. I walk straight forward.

There's no exchange of words. There's no exchange of anything. It's just having a good time with just going out on the town how many guys right now how many guys right now watching this or like hoping they see her at a at a dance club like i'd love to get those kalilah blue balls yeah she's like there's kalilah they got sweatpants on with no underwear imagine i'm imagining her doing it but it's square dance like i don't think you have to touch their dicks and square dance or it's a wedding thing guy to the left and glad to the

right it's a fucking um the electric slide bobby is so not threatened um by anything at all like even when i said i was like sweetie please come with me to see an old friend of mine he's like please please please don't make me go please don't make me go and i was like what if like he's into me he's like i don't give a shit please don't make me go yeah i totally get that energy i don't want to go see you some guy from high school just look at so sad yeah it's like why you don't want to see that the life leave the eyes of a man when you show up with a guy you know what it is though you know what we need to work on? Because I'm actually getting a lot,

like these questions you're asking are interesting because I think I've done so much work on myself just in the past few years that I would have a completely different situation. Well, you know what I want to say about what you were saying earlier is, and what I appreciate about you in this moment, especially because this is layered, it's nuanced.

Because you're having a good time with the guy you work with. There is some chemistry because you're having a good time. So is there a possibility? And it's like what you're talking about is, hey, let's be professional. So yeah, we're having this thing. Let's be professional. So maybe outside of work, if you want to take a shot, cool. And if I want to say at that point, hey, listen, I really enjoy working with you, but I don't want to – I'm not romantic with you like that.

Then it's like on the other person to be like, all right, you know what? Yeah, I'm into you like that, but I think we have a good work – If I stopped getting work from him, like if he stopped bringing me in, that's a fucking – That's a fucking – Exactly. That's a me too. That's what I'm saying. The thing also is it's like, okay, so Louis in his apology said this, and I thought this was actually so good.

In his apology, he said, when I was asking these girls, what I thought I was doing was asking these girls a question. But what I realize now is I was presenting them with a predicament. And that's something that I was like, oh, that kind of like felt like rung true, where I was like, in these working environments, when you are kind of afraid of that. And it's like, it is a comedy room. So it's like, and you're right, we do have chemistry. But chemistry but i'm like dude i'm fucking crushing in this room right now like do not ruin this thing because you want to get your dick wet it's like it's not like he was on one knee proposing to me it's like he was trying to fuck me at a party you know what i mean it's like yeah yeah dude like but i had a and my ex-boyfriend helped me with this um because i used to get so offended when when hit on me. I thought it meant they didn't think I was funny, right?

Like I thought it was like, you know, all of these like the bullshit guys tell you when you're coming up and you're doing well and they're like, it's just because you're a girl. And I'm like, I'm fucking funnier than you, dude. Like, I'm sorry. I was funnier than these fucking guys. But then it gets in your head eventually and you go, wait, am I only getting things because everyone's trying to fuck me, you know? And then so I had this thing in my head where I felt like when guys hit on me, it meant

they didn't think I was funny or respect me. And what I realized is that's not, I mean, that's just like from my own past shit with molested. But it's like what he taught me was he's like, no, they could be, they're probably just more attracted to you because they think you're funny. So it's not like, so there is a way to make it, there is a way to be like, oh, I'm going to take the compliment of this and just like tell them the truth and not worry about their feelings but just like tell them the truth rather than trying to like maneuver around it but it's see i feel like it should be

dealt with i mean i feel like people should have more open communication about this i think instead of like denying like i never was like when i was younger i'd be the kind of person i'd be like i'd be like that guy pretending like I'm your friend. And then a year later, I'm like, I love you. I've always loved you. And it's so fucking annoying. I know how annoying that is. So later when I got later, when I was like had more confidence in myself, I would be like, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm not trying to be your friend. Listen, I don't let people dictate the terms of the relationship to me. I don't get friend zoned because I'm like, nah, I'm trying to get with you. You're getting way blacker. No, I'm just saying. I'm like, we are really, we're coming, we're getting really. I'm just saying, it annoys me when I hear guys talk about like, she's got me in a friend zone. No, no, you staying in a friend zone.

It is totally okay to tell somebody no. Because first of all, you can't just be my friend. You know what it means to build a friendship? You can't just tell me, oh, we're friends now. No, I don't know you like that. So no, I'm trying to get with you. So you deal with that.

You have to put it. And then if you go, and then so if you say, well, I don't want to do that. The other person has to have some maturity to be like, you know what? This chick's talented. I like how we work together.

I like what she does. I just have to deal with my attraction. But I don't say you deny it. The dude's into you because you were great. You were funny and you were attractive and you guys had good chemistry. He just needs to learn how to deal with working with somebody you feel that way about it's just like it does feel like such a like a weird betrayal that when you're like not expecting it it's the same as the friend thing like it's like so you've been friends with me this long or we've

been working like it's just like that's what your intentions were this whole time it's like oh it's so annoying however but i'm saying to go in on that right before i don't want to cut you off but i just want to because this is great. You can cut me off. No, no, no. It's just. I do it. So it's just that.

Let's just quickly. I want to quickly explain to Nikki. Okay. Yeah. We're a pro face fucking podcast. Okay. We think it's very feminist to be face fucked. Yes.

I like it too. Why are we? Yeah. We don't have to do anything. We don't want to do the work. I'm done doing things. We're done with the cervical movement. That's exactly.

I was in my special but i was like i like when a guy grabs my head and just like does what he wants to do because i don't want to guess his rhythm so i like i called it the birdhouse like he treats my head like a bird i don't know why like i just feel like i just have a hole in my head and he and i like being whole and then when you're done and then when you're done he tells everyone you're i just want to be whole sorry wait literally that's one of my favorite statements to say to a guy in bed i just want to be like i'm just the hole when you try to not be the hole they treat you like the hole anyway so you're like wait why am i fighting against this i'm a sock i'm a hole

i love being a disembodied like from my soul like from being a good person and like a daughter and i want them to be like is this the bed or my girlfriend like i don I want them to be like, is this the bed or my girlfriend? Like I don't want them to know the difference between the two of us. I love just being like, I was reading about like hot things to say in bed because you kind of run out of things and I need more. And one was,

use me like your cock sleeve. And I was like, that like turned me on for some reason to just be, I want to be used. I don't want to be, because sometimes it gets twisted where I,

the guy that I'm like hook up with will maybe sometimes think that I want to be used. I don't want to be, because sometimes it gets twisted where I, the guy that I'm like, hook up with will maybe sometimes think that I want to be disrespected. I just want to be as disrespected as you would treat a hole in the wall. Like you wouldn't be like, that's a stupid hole in the wall.

You're just feeling your hole in the wall. I want to be limp. Like I want you to take my body. Like I want to be limp and you just move me around. I want to do the least amount. Yes, Annie. I've done enough.

I'm older now. Yes, yes, yes. Do all of this. I want to be a cum dump. Yeah. I want you to just flip me over. I want to do the least amount. Yes, Annie. I've done enough. I'm older now. Yes, yes, yes to all of this. I want to be a cum dump. Yeah. I want you to just flip me over. Nikki doesn't know.

I have one of those hospital beds and I zoom up to fuck my boyfriend. I zoom up the bottom. I scooch to the edge and I press a button. Yes, and I rise myself

to his penis. Oh my God. I do nothing. It's so hard to do stuff. Oh God. I don't like to do anything i really do like to just take it and um i remember one time my boyfriend at the time uh i was really tired and he was like horny and kind of petting on me and stuff and i go you can but like i'm just gonna like i'm not gonna do anything and he goes as opposed to what he was like oh that could be

different for us and i was like you're right. You're such a good guy that you never make me do anything. He's really just I never have to be on top. I just don't want to be on top. I'll be on top every once in a while but it's just to see if I miss it. Am I bad? Am I just bad at sex?

You're not bad. You're just retired. I'm on sabbatical. At retired. I'm on sabbatical. Catch me at my peak. I was, you know, riding dicks off their bodies. I had a whole I like to be out of I feel like

my whole life is so in control that most women that like to be kind of just treated as an objectified in bed. I they tend to be like boss bitches in their life and they just want a little time off like that's why when i'm in bed i just want to be holes i don't want to be like have to think about your pleasure and like think about you liking me and what i look like i've spent so much of my life doing that i just want to relax the boss thing my ex-boyfriend

used to be like you don't seem into i'm like i'm here doing it like i don't what do you need me to be like yay i'm just like enough we've been dating for two years you know annie the more money do a sit-up too why don't you get hotter you're ugly that's true the more money i make the less work i want to do yes because money fixes everything so i'm like why are you throwing money at this why are you telling everyone about our sex life do a sit-up you're ugly i've said it to you for years never listen i just watched this um french movie called titan that aquafina suggested that i watched and um there is a scene there without giving too much away where she is fully having sex with an automobile what like full on

strapped on she She's fucking it. She gets pregnant by the automobile. And I want to ask you guys. Has a smart car? It was actually an old car, which made it even hotter. But I want to ask you guys, have you ever had sex with an inanimate object?

No. Or been attracted to one or saw a shape and said, you know what, that might work. I have like a, it's not a sexual attraction to, but I am able. I look at my Roomba like a it's not a sexual attraction dude but i am able i look at my roomba like a pet like it has there's something about it that i'm like oh i can

understand why people have robots and treat them like it's i feed it and i'm like mom i'm not like i name it yeah well i call it roomba even though it's a shark and um but uh i just i do feel like i could have because of my like my relationship with the Roomba and like giving it a personality and really believing that. And even when it gets tangled up in a cord and like in the morning I'll go to its dock and I'm like, wait, where is it? And I have to go looking for it. And I see, I go, Roomba, what were you doing? Why don't you leave like a little bread trail so it comes to you?

Or like just comes and sucks my clit. But also, you know what I was thinking? I do want a body Roomba. This is my, this is my image of you. I want you to get a dildo and like glue it onto the Roomba and then ride it and be taken around.

Yes. I do think I could be attracted to a thing. Like, really? Almost anything. Almost anything. You know what?

Because the, this, this is something I actually did say because that's a common thing you see in my, my strange addiction or those shows where a woman will get married to the Eiffel Tower. And although that's phallic, so she can she actually uses little the ones that you would buy at the gift shop.

She would use them to like fuck herself, even though she's married to the actual. I got married on Ecstasy once and we did Eiffel Tower that night. So I do kind of like similar. Can you please remind those of us who didn't do drugs in their 20s what it is to Eiffel Tower? Eiffel Tower is not drugs. It's when you're like. No, I know it's not. And then you high five each other while you're.

It's two guys and a girl in the middle. I think it could be girls. Honestly, we should be girl Eiffel Towers. I guess. While we spit roast this. But I remember I always thought that i had a type of guy that i was attracted to like i have i have a um there's a bar you have to hit and there was a guy you're like i also have a typewriter i'm attracted to that's next for me there was this guy that i like

fell in love with uh despite myself just like there was this you know the energy that people talk about that i was just looking at him like i don't there's if you would have showed me a picture of like i want to set you up with this guy i would have been like do you hate me like i would have my i would have swiped left so hard the screen would have cracked on this guy but there was something about the physical like just the energy between us and after i was attracted to him and like truly turned on by everything he had going on i was like i understand why women marry ferris wheels or like things that you could never it was i was never imagine a woman is closer to what i'm a guy that i usually am attracted to looks like than this guy was like

that's why i was like i can date anyone it's it's not about physical it's about energy a million percent it's about the connection with the person how how they make you feel, how you make them feel. If they let you be like a full lesbian on a podcast. Yeah, yeah. On the side. I mean. Thank you.