Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Catholic Showers, Jewish Baths w/ Brandon Wardell

Episode Date: February 15, 2022

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Starting point is 00:01:48 That's what I like to do. You guys, if you haven't heard about Anchor, it's the easiest way to make a podcast. Let me explain. It's free. Shocking that, Esther, that's what you were about to say, right? Yes, it's free. It's always number one on our list. It's free.
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Starting point is 00:02:25 listenership the best i mean imagine that that's like the lowest that's low pressure everything you need with anchor everything you need to make a podcast all in one place just download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started three I guess so I didn't that wasn't hello wasn't my choice
Starting point is 00:02:55 I know it does is there no Kalai I guess not oh my god we filled in with another Filipino mm-hmm oh she that's a shame that she's not here for this one I know are you half I am half I guess not. Oh my God, we filled in with another Filipino? Mm-hmm. She's almost racist.
Starting point is 00:03:07 That's a shame that she's not here for this one. Are you half? I am half, yeah. What if he was full and it just changed our whole... Yeah. One time I was like, you look so Asian in this, and you were like, I'm Asian. Yeah, that's why. I go, why do you look so Asian?
Starting point is 00:03:18 He's like, I am. That's the secret. Literally known you for 27 years. I mean, yeah, it's... Annie, don't plug bad friends. I'm half, but it's like... I'm definitely more... I feel like...
Starting point is 00:03:31 Yeah, I'm like white passing. I'm white. I am white at the end of the day. But I am half... You're a white man. Wait, that's like Carlos. Carlos is white. But I identify as Hispanic.
Starting point is 00:03:42 Oh my God, it's like George. It's like me. You're a white Latino. You're just pointing out all white people. But Carlos is... Oh my God, it's like George. It's like me. Are you just pointing out all white people? But Carlos is- Oh my God, it's just like all our white boys. I mean, like the world generally receives me as a white man, but that might change.
Starting point is 00:03:55 Those Japanimation eyes. Oh my God, me. I have anime eyes. I have anime eyes. I have beautiful Disney princess eyes. We can maybe zoom in and post. You really do. But yeah, I am, yeah. I have beautiful Disney princess eyes. We can maybe zoom in and pose. You really do. But yeah, I am.
Starting point is 00:04:08 Yeah, I mean, well, maybe after the Joe Coy movie comes out where I'm Joe Coy's son. When you're Joe Coy's boy. People will be like, okay, yeah, this man's, this is a Filipino boy, you know? I feel limp. I feel this feel limp to me. Filipino man. Wait, this is what I love. I love Carlos handing me things.
Starting point is 00:04:26 It was $4 and a block away. And I want to make sure George pays for everything. I want George to fund, Carlos to deliver. Yes, that's the key. Okay, wait. So Brandon walked in and literally the first thing he said was, I have to tell Annie she can't bring up the time that she saw me crying. Oh, I said I'm going to bring up a time he cried.
Starting point is 00:04:46 And he's going to be mad because I brought it up every time I've ever seen him. It's fine. It's fine. We can talk about it. We can talk about it. We can talk about it. No cuts. How about this?
Starting point is 00:04:54 How about we're not going to talk about it and you guys just have to deal with it? No, we can talk about the time that you saw me cry as a high school senior. I've known you since you were such a baby boy. You were talking about getting your dick sucked by yourself in the shower. Wait, how did you know him when he was in high school? New York? Well, she was living in New York at the time. I was living in D.C.
Starting point is 00:05:14 He was a D.C. comic. But I would come up for stuff sometimes. And he was like the boy wonder comic in D.C. And he would come up. And now look at me, a former child prodigy. You kind of are. Yeah. When did I meet you? Being an ex prodigy. You kind of are. Yeah. When did I meet you?
Starting point is 00:05:26 Being an ex-child star. You still look young though. I still look, I still play young. I mean, Esther knows. Esther knows about, knows all about this.
Starting point is 00:05:33 It is weird that you guys are alike each other. We have some similarities. You're way more youthful. You and Andy, you guys and Andy Milonakis. When did I meet you? Probably like 2015 or 16. So you were, when you moved here? I moved to LA. Can I meet you probably like 2015 or 16
Starting point is 00:05:46 I moved to LA we met earlier do either of you have Crohn's disease first of all why people look young usually when they have Crohn's disease that's the wrong disease
Starting point is 00:06:01 type in Karen Margolis type in Johnny Pemberton I'm right and you're wrong does Johnny have that and look up yeah Johnny has Crohn's I will call my friend
Starting point is 00:06:12 right now who has Crohn's and tell them they look old yes Esther you're a bitch I will I mean Johnny
Starting point is 00:06:19 Johnny was playing high schoolers deep into his 30s I think he would could still do it. He's got longer hair now. It's working. How old are you in Joe's movie?
Starting point is 00:06:29 I play a 17-year-old boy. Despite being 29. I'm a 29-year-old man. I'm a 29-year-old man. I play a 17-year-old boy in this movie. And I will be... I had this thought on set where first day we're filming, it's like the dad is yelling at me, you know, like, oh, you have a C plus in math.
Starting point is 00:06:51 And like my internal monologue is just like, I'm going to be 30 when this is on demand, you know. Tell them about, do you remember the counter I made for your birthday? Oh, for when I turned 30. What? He was doing like old people jokes and making fun of people for being old. I was not. I think I was maybe just being I think I... You were trolling. You started the troll.
Starting point is 00:07:16 The troll. Yeah, you're kind of an OG troll. Are you going to troll us today? No, no, no. I'm on my own business. I feel like we do have hits. Our are hits we got lost hiking oh we did get lost i mean it was it got dangerous yeah what's going on between you guys it felt like uh maybe that was like yeah i know and now i'm into half asians oh okay my boyfriend's okay that's the twist i'm we mommy son you would be jealous
Starting point is 00:07:49 so jealous i had there was like one there's uh somebody i well i'm not gonna say names but they're they're nicky is um was it her song no no no this is there's there's somebody in comedy who I was hooking up with that is, I think, seven, seven years older. And I found out later that she used to be a substitute teacher at the high school that I went to. At the high school you went to? While I was there. I think it was like a secondary school. So I think I was in eighth grade when she was a substitute teacher. And then years later, we both were just sort of at the same shows and and you know and things happened things
Starting point is 00:08:30 happened you know but I don't know you don't you guys put the you do you have you never had a rule against hooking up with comedians what kind of question is that what it's not because some people do some people do it was was loaded. It was loaded. He's like, I know the fat pigs you've dated. I know the monsters. I know the pieces of fat garbage you've dated. No, it's not that I didn't have a rule. It's I just, you know, I.
Starting point is 00:09:00 They all try and she can't fuck them all. No, I know. But it's not. It really is not. They all try. It's not it really is not it's not fair it's definitely not fair the being a you know dating female comics versus dating male comics is not i feel like it's better it's easier to be the boy to be the boy well you get to write all the jokes and we just sit there and go ha ha you guys are so good he, can we suck her dick? A funny dick? I feel like a lot of...
Starting point is 00:09:26 Every time I suck a dick from now on, I'm like, is it a funny dick or an unfunny dick? There's only two kinds of dicks. My point was just like, why are you treating me like a chuckle fucker? My point was like,
Starting point is 00:09:37 there's chuckle fuckers out there. I'm the one that makes the chuckles. Speaking of dating comedians, I have something to share. Whoa. There's a comedian, a male comic who I think is like my perfect guy and I don't know what to do. Yeah. Oh, I want to play a guessing game.
Starting point is 00:09:56 Then do it. He's definitely hideous. He just had an attractive. There was a there was just a there's a Showtime doc About him That just came out Was there? No Bill Cosby Oh I was like I was like
Starting point is 00:10:11 I was trying to He's kind of older He has a lazy eye I haven't looked him up yet He's my dream guy And he's currently A very popular comic Do you call him a dream guy
Starting point is 00:10:20 Because he drugs you And you fall asleep And dream in a dream Are you Are you newly single? No. No, she's fully engaged. No, fully engaged. But on this show, we live in an alternate reality.
Starting point is 00:10:32 Oh, okay. I'll say this. I don't think I have a chance with him, but I love – Is he a little person? No. Okay. He's like a very popular stand-up comedian right now, especially. Right now.
Starting point is 00:10:46 Okay. It's a he? Mm-hmm. This is where I know it's not true. Oh, he's gay. No, Esther's gay. Tim Dillon. We're saying he.
Starting point is 00:10:57 Do you have a crush on Tim Dillon? I do. It's Tim Dillon. I get it. He's my perfect man. What do I do? Hmm. It's Tim Dillon. I get it. He's my perfect man. What do I do? Um. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:11:09 I've got, you've got to work through. Let's stump Danny. Danny is, Danny can't, Danny has to leave. I'm just like, the two of you together is like my nightmare. When I, when I see you guys, it's like, Esther's like, it's fangirl. It's like, please stop being. That's what it is. I really, I have a crush on him. I'm attracted to him. She goes like, do you think he'll do our, I'm like, it's fangirl. It's like, please stop. That's what it is. I really, I have a crush on him.
Starting point is 00:11:25 I'm attracted to him. She goes like, do you think he'll do her? I'm like, Esther, you're being low self-esteem. It's like crazy. She's like, he's here. See, I'm like, I'm starstruck. And like, he's like my type. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:39 He's like. But I'm his, I'm his type. Adam Friedland is his type. Yes. I know that he's been on, he's been on record about this. He's been on you. He's been on record. Are. Yes. He's been on record about this. He's been on you. He's been on record. Are you serious?
Starting point is 00:11:47 He's been on me. Yeah, he's been on record. Tim has been on record about wanting to fuck me and wanting to fuck Adam Friedland. So you would be the, if he liked girls, you would be the one. I can't believe I'm revealing this on the day we have someone who is in my spot that I want to be in. Should we fight? I was going to say I can't believe
Starting point is 00:12:08 you wore those pants. No, I like them. Oh yeah, you did kind of come jammied up. Jammied up? These are real pants. I'm dressed up for her. They're nice.
Starting point is 00:12:22 It's a fun, fun pattern. They just look like pajamas because I sit weird. I like, it's a fun, fun pattern. They just look like pajamas because I sit weird. It is. I feel like it's a very LA. I am not flirting. You're flirting. I'm in love with Tim Dillon. She's being really romantic towards you.
Starting point is 00:12:34 I don't know if you know. That is so fucked up. No, you're being terribly. We can take the body language, get a body language expert later. You're being awfully flirty. Is it because he's in the Kalilah chair? She's going gonna sniff that chair no matter who's sitting in it.
Starting point is 00:12:48 Esther by the way did you buy yourself a neck diamond? No this is from my stylist and it's not real. Are you kidding? But it is I realized that when you wear a big. I thought like maybe you like like let your fiance throat fuck you and he got you like a ring for it. That's a
Starting point is 00:13:04 really good plan. Put a ring on it. Put a necklace for it. That's a really good plan. Put a ring on it. Put a necklace on it. Tim! Listen up! Girls love Tim Dillon. They do? I don't identify as a girl. He was on Red Scare.
Starting point is 00:13:17 Oh, I love those girls. I love them. Yeah, they're great. But I feel like they've talked about Tim Dillon being like a fuckable man they like a man with authority he's like he is he like is he like is alpha and he does he is he's like a confident i just like fat guys i don't know what you guys are talking about i mean it's a bad joke and Whitney was like he's sensitive
Starting point is 00:13:45 I go I'm not worrying about what Tim's sensitive about he's called there's no way he's sensitive did I ever tell you I think I might have told this on here before but I never told you this
Starting point is 00:13:52 I gained weight over the pandemic but I was kind of like in denial about it like I was like no maybe it's not that noticeable this is a beautiful top thank you so much now who's flirting
Starting point is 00:14:02 I mean this is well listen I was his teacher my eyelashes are just flinging off and everybody knows top. Thank you so much. Now who's flirting? Well, listen, I was his teacher. My eyelashes are just flinging off and everybody knows it sends me into a rage. Would you ever wear a half crop top shirt as a man?
Starting point is 00:14:15 No. I'm not into that kind of thing. Would you ever do nail polish? What's that? Nail polish. Absolutely not. I'm on record about how I think that straight guys who get painted fingernails i think they're sexual predators yeah they're problematic yeah they're because it's like queer baiting it's like am i queer maybe you should you should let me fuck you that's what we should read on the show and it's like yeah guys with colorful fingernails
Starting point is 00:14:42 i think are guilty of gray area sexual misconduct. Okay, queerbaiting is a thing I felt, but I never knew the term. I really have had guys where you're like, you get so comfy with them thinking they're gay. And then they lean in for a kiss and you're like, you just played, you gay played me. There's guys that are, yeah, they're gay for pussy. I'm like, this is a crazy, like, it's really like, no, it's's a real thing where they're, like, they act all girly and stuff. And then you're like. It's predatory behavior.
Starting point is 00:15:07 Yeah. Wait, that's crazy. I, like, have a, I do have, it's funny that you brought that, you brought that up. I do have a joke on stage right now where I ask, like, oh, are there any straight guys here with painted fingernails? And if a guy raises his hand, you know, I'll be like, oh, what's your name? And he'll be like, oh, Dave or whatever. And I'll be like oh what's your name and he'll be like Dave or whatever and I'll be like Dave's a sexual predator can we clip just that out
Starting point is 00:15:31 wait that's so funny well it's I don't he says that person is a sexual predator it's like that's my that's how I do crowd work no I call a guy a sexual predator no I've I call a guy a sexual predator.
Starting point is 00:15:51 No, I've never had a guy where I thought he was gay and then hit on me. That's never happened to me. Maybe that's a me issue. It's happened to me. I've lost my gaydar completely or people have just learned that it's a way to get girls. Annie, how was Florida? Did anyone bring you any gifts for me? I got great gifts. I wish I remember to bring them.
Starting point is 00:16:04 I got like, I'll bring it next time I got this really cute hat and I did want to shout the girls out but I can't remember the name of their thing but I will cute earrings did anyone bring you lip scrub for me you got lip scrub in two cities ago yeah two cities ago did you request sure lips are so crusty and disgusting that our fans are now intervening. They're getting involved. They're coming to my shows. I guess this is the danger of like a video pod. Yeah, I know. You're like, you're hidden away.
Starting point is 00:16:32 Well, yeah, now I'm got it. Now I'm. Are you getting a gun out of your pocket? No, I'm just trying to do it. The world's smallest gun. So long. He has like a little pink girl gun. It just made me want to.
Starting point is 00:16:43 I'm glad that you had that instinct. Because I was worried. As I started saying, I was like, oh, no, he's going to have crusty want to. I'm glad that you had that instinct. Because I was worried as I started saying I was like oh no. I don't have crusty lips too. I would hate that. Do you only take baths? I'm not a baths guy. That's her. I take only baths every day. You're only baths? Isn't it disgusting? You don't shower? No. If I'm in a hotel room and there's
Starting point is 00:17:00 no bath I will shower if I have to. Like if I'm there for four days. You're kind of just soaking in your own filth.'s a misconception because don't you i i've what my impression was you you go bath followed by a quick shower that's so are you catholic uh not i mean i was at one point okay i think that's why i think catholic people have to shower more. You're a god boy. Oh, look at our god boy, guys. Our first god boy. We have a god boy guest. I was raised Catholic.
Starting point is 00:17:32 I think this is a take I have. I think Catholic people need to bathe more than regular people. Is that offensive? What's that? It's anti-anti-Semitic. It's the opposite. like they like need their showers like every time i'm with a catholic person they're like they like think i'm so dirty i just
Starting point is 00:17:51 made a correlation what with you and showers and why you don't like showers oh annie yeah we all know what it's gonna be i what the holocaust and the. Why would you say that? I vote to edit that out. That was very insensitive. She's sick and disgusting. She's sick. What a sick bitch. Wow.
Starting point is 00:18:15 Esther to be a chosen one and speak that way. She's horrible. I'm sorry. Between her and the God boy over here, what's going on? I want to formally apologize for the joke I made. It was not funny. I'm going to get a statement with the ADL. Wait, I was going to say, okay, so what reminded me when I said god boy is I think the greatest
Starting point is 00:18:38 insult you can give a girl is to tell her she looks like she only uses pads. Calling someone a pad girl is so bad. I just want to know why is it so bad to only use pads? Oh uses pads. Calling someone a pad girl is so... Why? I just want to know why is it so bad to only use pads? Oh my God, she is a pad girl. I just want to know why. Because it's staying on you. Remember what they would say in middle school? What?
Starting point is 00:18:58 Girls would be like, oh, if you use a tampon, then you're not a virgin anymore. Oh my God, that's very Catholic. I mean, I went to Catholic middle school. That was very God-boy. Catholic middleolic middle school yeah girls would say that girls would be like oh if you use a tampon you're no longer a virgin i can't believe i did to you people guys so crazy i know if you can if you can love me like this you can love me like this and you look beautiful there's a flapping eyelash it's going i can it's obstructing my view. Our eyelash budget, we have issues.
Starting point is 00:19:26 George, come fix it. That was the name of my E! show with Julian McCullough. We have issues. Oh, really? Yeah, E! named it. We actually have issues with the name. And the budget. And the budget.
Starting point is 00:19:36 I had a show for four episodes. I think I was friends with you during this. I had a talk show on E! for four episodes, and they didn't give us a a time slot. Like if you went on like your TV to try to DVR it, it would say programming, E programming. And then on the IMDB they had another girl's
Starting point is 00:19:54 face under my name. It was so it was good though. It was like better than having this hit show. That's like a flex. There's something that's a flex about you saying that it's E programming. You're just flexing like I don't give that's like a flex there's something that's a flex about you saying that it's an e-programming you're just flexing like i don't give a fuck i love that yeah that's good energy i mean that's like you know everybody i feel like that's kind of a rite of passage is to have a failed yeah just
Starting point is 00:20:15 being involved in some like basic cable thing that like never really worked out i had a friend i'm not gonna say his name but he literally quit comedy because he got edited out of a season of America's Got Talent. And I was like, I didn't know how to explain it. I'm like, every successful person has this exact story. Wait, I think I auditioned for America's Got Talent and didn't even get past the producers. They like canceled the show.
Starting point is 00:20:40 We're done. Iron Man does like a lot. They're like, I guess America doesn't. They're like america doesn't that that he he got further than me and quit no i it's very like uh it was just weird because i'm like you think there's one there's not one thing he sounds weak of spirit i know let's fucking beat him up is something preventing you from achieving your perfect life? My FUPA.
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Starting point is 00:24:23 Are you scared to say that because we're like all dried up no no no I don't want to insult the you're both beautiful what if we just it turned into like a hand job this is weird why are we jerking him off now yeah I'm their stepbrother
Starting point is 00:24:39 brother I'm trapped help me out I'm like trapped in a trunk um yeah but generally in the same in in the same range and yeah you don't care you don't it just yeah it just happens yeah it just now well i just asked that because you dated a girl who was like who was older than you and like a school teacher and i'm like oh is that something that you got into i mean yeah i don't it's not like i'm not you're always angling for like i'm not angling i'm not people is so it's gonna be revisited in your tub that's not what i do when i say my spanking legs are gonna be straddling the fucking. You don't know my spanking.
Starting point is 00:25:27 It's not like that. You are misreading my spanking. It's usually feminine. I know. It's actually insulting. She's calling you a girl. I do. I mean, I have the, you know, I have some, I have soft features.
Starting point is 00:25:40 I have soft features like that of a beautiful woman. It's weird that you kind of, now I'm realizing you look a little bit like my boyfriend i've never we've never had a you've always been projecting the whole time onto me that i'm flirting and spanking but look he's your boyfriend he's literally half asian he's too old to be my boyfriend He's too old to be my boyfriend He's younger than you It was funny because I never My boyfriend's 27 But the thing is that I never
Starting point is 00:26:07 Our boyfriend is younger than you I never We never were flirting though No no no Did you ever feel flirty with me? I don't think so No I was a virgin when we met
Starting point is 00:26:16 What? And then when we were left And then after she took care of it Yeah No yeah I hoped you were Yeah because I was Weeping in front of the Montreal people
Starting point is 00:26:25 I was 17 I was letting you be 15 in my memory I was like 17 when I started doing stand up and I lost my virginity at 21 who did it? oh it's like
Starting point is 00:26:40 fully something I would tell you off air wow fully something I would tell you off air wow fully something I would tell you off air that is mildly embarrassing was it an escort no no no it's like but it's actually where it's being an it being an escort would be better less embarrassing yeah wow yeah juicy but the way you are looking and acting is like you're gonna masturbate to it that is your no no no i refuse i don't masturbate you wait i feel like that could be real though do you not
Starting point is 00:27:14 sometimes i do yeah oh i can go i could go not without it though i go in phases like i i have a theory i think everyone is like this where like you go through phases where you really are like hyped up and you need to do all you need to get off all the time and then other times where I'm just like gates are closed like I don't need it. Are you like that or are guys not like that?
Starting point is 00:27:37 Yeah no I think recently I've kind of Carlos is taking notes by the way. He literally took a note. For the show, not for personal use. Wow. It's almost like I didn't say that and you got really defensive for no reason.
Starting point is 00:27:54 Okay, you're all into projecting now. I'm trying to see where other people are projecting. You're rocking back and forth. I'm doing the Esther. Esther's always got her heel and her vagina. I never have. She's always rocking back and forth I'm doing the Esther Esther's always got like her heel and her vagina I never have she's always like she's always banging her
Starting point is 00:28:10 fucking yeezys she's always like yeah it's just crazy how what a hoe you are even when Kalilah's not here you're a muse that is your
Starting point is 00:28:23 no I feel like Kalilah can make you squirt why would you say that because it's true why even go there go go there i call come go go it's just oh sure yeah sure of course just a thing i do welcome to the show do we have those questions oh man i the squirt is squirt piss i think so yes right are you at the end of the day i've only ever peed on guys so yeah here's one we could all answer what makes you look at a woman as they walk by is that a bad question what are we doing to this man? Why are we making him? That was actually more for you. To look at a woman or a guy?
Starting point is 00:29:09 No, a woman. It's like, because it is actually a question for women. It's like, what makes women look at other women? I saw a thigh gap that I almost went up to the girl the other day at the airport and was like, your thigh gap is like, like a gift. If we were together. Like, I can't believe you had, we would have talked. We would have. She'd be here.
Starting point is 00:29:23 She'd be sitting where Brandon's sitting. She'd be gapping out in here. It was insane. I was like, oh my God, your jeans never like rub in the middle. What's the most intimate non-sex thing that you do with a partner? I know mine. It's holding hands. Holding hands to me is so fucking sexual and intimate.
Starting point is 00:29:43 Is it because of how wet your hand gets and clammy how pussy like your tiny tiny hand is answer the question bitch that's the most intimate thing that's not sexual that you would do with like a lover i like to shower really shower with oh yeah that's pretty that's pretty intimate i enjoy i like I like to, I have an open door bathroom policy. I like direct eye contact while either of us are taking shits. I like, well, I need to get a, one flaw of my current living situation is I feel like I don't really have like, I've had sex in my shower, but I feel like I don't have a sex shower.
Starting point is 00:30:21 I have a sex shower. Yeah. Sometimes when I'm like in a hotel, like a nice hotel. Well, they're asking for it. It's like, what are you not going to? It's literally like. Can you guys sell me on sex in the shower? Because it sounds horrible to me.
Starting point is 00:30:34 Why are we? You're already naked. You're already wet. You can wash it off immediately. She likes to keep the comb on herself. It is. Don't act like that's not a thing you've actually said. I didn't respond did i i had no
Starting point is 00:30:47 response i think like yeah i mean head head in either on either end yeah because i got one of those seats so it's like oh yeah you can go up but my favorite move is because i have one of those hospital beds my favorite move is i scooch to the end of the bed and then we present my vagina to my boyfriend. We just pull. We bring me up. I would like to do a real slow one where it's. There's no movement.
Starting point is 00:31:15 It's just the thumb. Wait, do you literally have a hospital bed? Yeah. Wow. I mean, they're not. They're like sleep number beds. That would be a good way to tease. Like to tease Todd and be like, I'm coming up.
Starting point is 00:31:25 No, now I'm going down. You have to stay still. He's like duct tape to the floor. No, not even just sex in the shower, but showering together with another person is so uncomfortable to me. It's like who's under the water. It's like fighting for the warm water. I don't. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:42 Oh, I get the water. It's Todd. Especially if it's you and Tim Dillon. I don't. Yeah. Oh, I'm my I get the water. It's Todd. Yeah. My boyfriend does. Especially if it's you and Tim Dillon. Oh, yeah. I think we know who's getting the water. You know. You could probably be under. It's a lot of runoff. He's like a fucking slip and slide for you. You really could ride him. You'd have to
Starting point is 00:32:02 climb on up. Oh, my God. Have you met? Have you, like, met? Have you and Tim met? Yeah. There's a picture of the three of us where it, like, literally looks like a reenactment of my vagina. There's, like, one giant one.
Starting point is 00:32:13 They're wearing the same color. Has he been on? Has he been on the pod? No, not yet. Oh, wow. Do you know him? Have you met him? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:20 He's been on the pod a bunch. You should have him on. Oh, what's all this? This is actually... Think about not knowing what's happening. How scary that is. You're with two girls that are interrogating you sexually.
Starting point is 00:32:44 I know, I'm sorry. Yeah, what's going on here? So, every episode we take a banana break. If like, we just do it, you know, Carlos is calling them
Starting point is 00:32:52 these days, it's like, because sometimes tensions are high, you know, it's a show for women and we're like, okay, we need our potassium
Starting point is 00:32:58 to calm us down. Yeah. I wake up to one banana every day. You do? I eat one banana in the morning. What if that was you coming out? You're like, I got a banana in my mouth before my eyes are open.
Starting point is 00:33:14 Yeah. So I start my day off with a little banana. I like that. It's a good snack. It's an afternoon Honeycrisp apple. It comes with its own bag. That's the greatest part. I've never heard it referred to as a bag. Yeah, it's like a good snack. It's an afternoon Honeycrisp apple. It comes with its own bag. That's the greatest part. I've never heard it referred to as a bag.
Starting point is 00:33:27 Yeah, it's like a snack bag. It's like... Annie, don't put your makeup in that next time I see you. This is my purse. Do not call it a bag. That's the beginning of a very bad story. Annie used to use a grocery bag to hold her makeup. Last time she said this was two weeks ago, and then I pulled my bag up, and it was still a grocery bag to hold her makeup. Last time she said this was two weeks ago.
Starting point is 00:33:45 And then I pulled my bag up and it was still a plastic bag. Something's never changed. Sunglasses have gotten more expensive. No purses. Do you know what's so like, I don't know what level of wealth you grew up with, but I grew up like cheap. Middle class. Yeah. So in junior high, I really wanted a coach purse and my dad found out and he
Starting point is 00:34:07 said that i should just use a grocery bag from jewel osco which was our grocery chain and just write coach on it and i'm like still feeling traumatized it's so weird that i am your dad yeah you're his no you're his dream daughter no but your dad like even like his he has worries about spending but he has spent and the way he spent is how i spent you were like you're chicago yeah and you're philly yeah yeah okay cool where are you from oh dc dc but like military dad so oh really air force air force dad so moved around a bunch and then i just say dc because that's where I started White man or Filipino? White man Filipino mom That's good
Starting point is 00:34:48 Classic I'm just looking at baby Todd here He's older than him, oh my god, that's so weird Annie's very confused sexually You met me as a child as a sexless child You are still sexless to me and I don't mean that to be like...
Starting point is 00:35:05 No, because of when you met me, I think that you can acknowledge the glow up. I'm happy for your success with the puss. You slay it and I am... Thank you. I am proud of you. And you can acknowledge that I can... I mean, at the time, I was like, you know... You look exactly the same.
Starting point is 00:35:20 Yeah, but I know how to present better than now. You have like a little bit of like stubble. Sure, yeah. You're Filipino. You're gonna be like boy for a long time Until you're just did you say for a long time? Wrong wrong Asian Why did you say long Asian? Esther I love that he called you out on pajama wear, and I know this is one of your most expensive, amazing outfits.
Starting point is 00:35:49 Thank you. Well, it's very- She thought about it for like a long time. This is a very- I've been wanting to wear these cool pants for so long. Let me see the- Oh, my God. Wow.
Starting point is 00:35:57 Yeah. For someone that's a very different size than you. It is sort of a- I mean, it is an LA look. What what it's an la outfit this is a very la outfit but it's not pajamas right it's not pajamas but it is an la outfit in that it is sort of i do think that there is kind of an la sartorial what's that word trent like clothes why does everyone that's sitting here fucking use big words it's i do think that you have the kalilah curse la folks do and this is something that i have been guilty of in my
Starting point is 00:36:32 i think or you know early 20s but a lot of people in la do dress like teenagers yeah comfortable forever yeah which i've i've tried to like i've never not do as i approach 30 i've never placed that but that is exactly you're no you're doing this is kind of a just exactly like a father full dad right that's the that's what i'm going for mom like art teacher mom but the rest is okay carlos what do you think because i feel like you're like a men's fashion activist i mean i kind of by the way everyone's freaking out right now. They're like, Oh my God. Everyone in the comments is watching this and they're going in real time. And they're going,
Starting point is 00:37:08 Oh my God, Esther's body is so hot. I didn't know she was covers it up. Not that I read the comments. Portia tells me. Oh my God. Wait, I didn't tell you guys this. I'm locked out of Twitter.
Starting point is 00:37:19 Someone has stolen my Twitter. They're selling NFTs. It's so embarrassing. They're crushing. Can I see? Do you have it? I can't's so embarrassing. They're crushing. Can I see? Do we have it? I can't go on. Can I see?
Starting point is 00:37:28 Can somebody pull up Annie's hacked Twitter? I've not seen it yet and I've been like trying to avoid it. You haven't seen it? It's not that bad. Well, everyone else
Starting point is 00:37:38 seems to think it's bad. Everyone's like, oh my God, this bitch is selling us NFTs. That's so funny. I'm just falling for this. Oh, Annie NFT? When I saw it.
Starting point is 00:37:46 Oh my God. I was like, why am I Kalilah? Wait, can we blow this up? I want to see this. Okay. Insane. And then X out of that. They've changed the picture a couple of times.
Starting point is 00:37:57 I had a skateboard yesterday. Let me just see the tweets. Crypto investor just going into the hashtag NFT space. By the way, I gained so many followers since oh wow the thing is i want to hire them they're getting better luck on mine no i literally first saw it before i talked to you and was like oh and he's having a really productive weekend oh go down go down this is a wild it says active test is that not so sure they hacked you did they delete your tweets prior maybe I don't care
Starting point is 00:38:26 I'm gonna blame I'm gonna blame my other ones my last one was retweeted in the comedy store and please go down what else I retweeted Randy Quaid's Christmas hell yeah I named my dog after him I love Randy Quaid I stan him
Starting point is 00:38:42 oh wow and so then all of a sudden somebody's posting about NFT discord or my love reading wave. I stay on him. Oh, wow. And so then all of a sudden, somebody's posting about NFT Discord. It's like I would do like, and I would do like an NFT that's not my own drawings. Like I just do someone else's drawings. I say lean in. I say this is the new you.
Starting point is 00:38:57 Oh, that's wild. It's so embarrassing. You guys, it's so embarrassing. No, everyone knows. It's ripping off my people. I don't even want to like ever. But you were never really like, like twitter was never your thing i hate twitter it was back in the day and then once they started getting canceling people i was like i'm out i was like oh god i really came on here
Starting point is 00:39:15 to do my worst jokes i was like twitter's where you do your jokes that like are kind of mean right that's where you're like this is this is my uh this is the website where i use slurs yeah this is the slur website this is the one brandon i feel like you are so they don't call it twitter i feel like you're so big on twitter but it's like i don't i i don't touch it that much you don't i don't i leave it alone for the most part where is your i'll pop in every once in a while remind them I still got it no because you are super funny on Twitter thank you
Starting point is 00:39:49 where is because I feel like that's how I got to know you where are you expressing yourself creatively then if you're not using that I kind of save it for stand up and a podcast or hacking Annie Letterman
Starting point is 00:40:04 this is Brendan Wardell wait I said Brendan it for stand-up and yeah podcast and that's cool or hacking annie letterman i think yeah yeah oh yeah this is brendan more yeah wait i said sorry brandon but the um the it's like offensive that they people think that's my back like why would i put like that background trippy trippy visual i think it's really not as bad as you think yeah now that i'm singing you kind of like you know what's annoying about it is that you can't you like that kind of shit you like that shit ears like animal ears
Starting point is 00:40:32 the background you look hot Esther's like this is great for your career I'm gonna buy one I feel like that's like a pattern you make sweatpants with that pattern yes it's tie-dyed
Starting point is 00:40:46 thank you Esther is behind it Esther's like it's so odd it's so cute it's so well constructed people are saying they really like it
Starting point is 00:40:53 and you should keep it no I do think my Twitter account my like follows like they're doing great they're doing better than me listen once I realized
Starting point is 00:41:02 I can't put any edge on Twitter my tweets turned into retweets I'm just like any edge on Twitter my tweets turned into retweets I'm just like I'm on a show see ya yeah yeah I try to yeah I don't like to spend too much it's it's also like really it's it's different than it was yeah when I was super active on there and I regret that was like I don't know I went back. I deleted a lot of shit on there. Really?
Starting point is 00:41:27 Yeah. It's like there's like 800 something tweets on my account now because I just sort of I was like, ah, just nothing but the hits. Like anything else. I know because there were like this forever. I used to use it. I don't know if you use it like this, but I would like do it as like a like an open mic kind of like before I would go to open mics. I would like throw out my jokes, but they're like horrific.
Starting point is 00:41:46 It jokes about like bad jokes. I was going to say something that's like a theme of a joke I have now. I was like, I have these horrible jokes about, Oh wait, I haven't, I'm still doing that. It's not the specific joke.
Starting point is 00:41:58 What is this new genre? That's why I delete my tweets. Cause I don't want people to know I'm still doing them. True bell. Okay. For real. That's why I delete my tweets because I don't want people to know I'm still doing them. Truebill. Okay. For real, how many free trial subscriptions end up costing you hundreds if not thousands? This is like a sore subject. It hurts.
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Starting point is 00:44:41 up with just who cares it? It's not his choice. No clue. He does 90, I do 10. This is what is happening. You guys, this bedding is so soft and comfortable. Like whenever my attitude sheets are dirty, I'm in a bad mood. Like I need to buy more because I need them all the time. They're dirty a lot, as you can tell.
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Starting point is 00:45:33 I won't wait. I'm doing it today. Order today for free shipping and 20% off your order at Etitude.com slash Tuesday. You're going to like them. I have the dark blue. I feel like I'm in the ocean. I will say, like like I've looked whenever I'm like trying to write stand up I'll like have a
Starting point is 00:45:49 and I'm at like my last leg of effort I'll be like let me see my tweets if there's anything good there is that like one minute in? yeah and then there's nothing good on my twitter your twitter's like cute you say cute things
Starting point is 00:46:00 oh you think I'm cute? they're like funny and cute no you're good at it what do you say what do you say she'll be like no eating a scone oh yeah just finished a scone off to piano lessons i mean i feel like father is letting me out tonight that's a genre of twitter is just girls being like famously i love to eat a tiny little cookie. Wait, what? That's like a genre of Twitter. There's like girls that just- There's like a kind of like-
Starting point is 00:46:28 Cutesy little like, oh, having a cute little day. You know what the genre I hate is? Where it's like girls that are like, fuck boys, be like. And I'm like, come on. Oh, sure. It's like, I never want to see a tweet that other people can tweet. I don't like that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:40 I like originality. Like singular voices. You'll have to check. Like, I remember when I would do Twitter, it would'd be like you're like in a race for these jokes that other people could do if you're trying to stay topical well that's like that's something that i hate is it is it's yeah i don't want to um it just feels like um yeah a lot of times on twitter it i mean well most people just aren't on it yeah and so it's like it does feel like kind of a waste of time to just be like jumping on like oh I gotta be the first person to make a joke about
Starting point is 00:47:13 this thing in the zeitgeist or whatever like I don't want to I don't want to be on there like oh I gotta I gotta do my joke about Jordan Peterson being on Joe Rogan or like, Oh, Pete Davidson's dating a famous lady. Oh, I know everyone making Pete Davidson. Like, I don't want to, I,
Starting point is 00:47:31 I, I want to stay out of it. Do you, it feels undignified. It's just sort of like you're ever just going after the, it's like boring. And your account just retweeted a Theo NFT. Oh boy.
Starting point is 00:47:43 Is it Theo Vaughn? No, I checked. It's actually just some guy named NFT. Oh, boy. Is it Theo Vaughn? No, I checked. It's actually just some guy named Theo. He seems ambitious. Like you on Twitter. He's very interested in the crypto. He hacked you, this Theo guy,
Starting point is 00:47:55 and now he's just assuming you're on his team because you didn't do anything. Can you watch my Instagram story how mad I was? So actually, Theo just called and he needs you to meet him outside. I'm locked out. You take my car keys.
Starting point is 00:48:09 I'm just trapped standing there. Wait, can we watch the video that Annie posts on Instagram because it's so fucking funny. I was so mad. This is true. You look like you took a potion in Toontown.
Starting point is 00:48:18 Did this just happen? Yes. This happened within the last 24 hours. It's currently happening. It's been 48 hours. No, she just posted this too i like in the middle of the night was just like tossing and turning like writing my agent like we gotta get this down but i couldn't see it so i didn't know what it looked like
Starting point is 00:48:32 why did you make your eyes because i didn't want to do my makeup but it makes it so much more confusing no but it is like it's funny to hypnotize people saying that i'm not the audience sees sees this yeah sees what we're. These eyes are so awful. What a setup. Guys, why would we be in this situation? Because you're believing that I'm selling you crypto. A lot of celebs are. I know, but I'm like, I'm not a regular.
Starting point is 00:48:57 I'm a fucking comedian. Which is, it does feel like. I tell the truth. But you are an artist. It's like, I was like, oh, Annie's like. Did you see the Jimmy Fallon, Paris Hilton NFT thing? No. It's fucking, it's really depressing.
Starting point is 00:49:12 What is it? It also feels like they're both doing it against their will. There's a video of like Paris Hilton on The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon. And they're both presenting their NFTs. Yes, they are doing it against their will. And it feels like somebody has like a fucking gun to the back of their head. Everyone
Starting point is 00:49:34 that's talking about NFTs has a gun to their head. My business manager, my first meeting with him was like oh my god, George of course is into NFTs. Hey, don't be dissing the tiger of course he's making a fate oh really are you making tiger belly nfts where's our where is our billboard you your monster it's you will watch the video reese witherspoon is tweeting about nfts i just feel very something weird is going on listen
Starting point is 00:50:04 i draw listen here's the thing i draw so i understand why my business manager is like let's do nfts i still don't understand what they are i'm busy performing in front of people you're like show kanye yeah i liked that kanye said that me too i liked that kanye did that okay well let's watch it wait watch this first watch the anger first because this is real. All right. Play from the beginning. So annoyed. I have to post about this. My Twitter is very obviously hacked.
Starting point is 00:50:28 But for some reason, people are believing that I all of a sudden am into cryptocurrency. You guys, I've never talked about selling you cryptocurrencies. Please do not follow comedians. Honestly, let's pause that. Yeah, you can pause it. What is wrong with you guys it's hacked why would i change my picture into a cartoon with a skateboard on the eyes are you guys kidding me any of the eyes it's hacked it's hacked i'm trying to get back into it it's hacked do not be stupid all right i'm so annoyed that this is happening but i'm more annoyed that you guys out of nowhere
Starting point is 00:51:12 i would just start but also if you haven't spent all your money on the obvious scam there it is that's how it's done y'all it's the funniest thing you've ever done in my life like it is the eyes one part before it cuts off
Starting point is 00:51:30 where it's like please don't follow comedians I was like yeah just stop there great that's like what is
Starting point is 00:51:39 going on but I guess I did it raw so it makes sense damn it's just like you don't think it would be the Danny DeVito drawing I've been squeezing as much as I can get out of you don't think that would be the
Starting point is 00:51:50 NFT the thing I've been doing the most I can get out what do you think of Kanye right now like what's your yay positive I mean I was at the I was at that LA Memorial Coliseum show you went to that?
Starting point is 00:52:05 How was it? Yeah, yay with special guest Drake. Drake, yeah. It's a great way to go over a concert. I understand why I thought that too, because yeezy, but it is yay. I thought the same thing too. I was once like you. It was great.
Starting point is 00:52:19 I mean, he did basically all of his hits in chronological order. He did? Yeah, starting through the wire. He did everything. So you're a Kanye fan? Yeah, I've always been a Kanye fan. I didn't love the Christian era. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:52:34 I didn't love that one album that's mostly gospel. The Wyoming one? But I like that he is, I think post-divorce, he's being horny again. Wait a second. But him know, he's being horny again. And wait a second. But him saying that Pete has AIDS is so funny. It is very funny.
Starting point is 00:52:50 That's very funny. I thought it was proven that he didn't. It's one of the funnier things that I've ever heard in my life. It's very funny. Whether he did it or not. It's also funny if people made it up. It's also funny. The whole thing's funny.
Starting point is 00:53:01 It is really. It is very funny to say that your ex-wife's boyfriend has a it's just like this famous guy i don't know i don't care who it is it's yeah did you have like a rivalry with pete because you were like the young boys no i don't think we never crossed paths you were like east side and he was he's new york we've never we've just never i mean like i think he was new york no i was never but i never lived in new york but you were with us we never yeah we don't know we don't know each other yeah so kanye posted my focus is on building real i can't read this by the way i literally
Starting point is 00:53:40 am like i this isn't i feel like my focus is on building that's how i feel every time i need i can read it every time i do the ads i'm like oh no my focus is on building real products in the real world real food real clothes real shelter do not ask me to do a fucking nft yay and then he says ask me later which i think is so funny that's a very funny postscript exactly how i talk to my parents i'm like do not fucking ask me that right now ask me later who still talks to their parents like that me it's really bad yeah i i've recently become really a big kanye fan recently yeah i'll tell you why like where you she copies carlos because carlos got me into yeezys and now i'm obsessed oh wow but you weren't a fan of his music no because i literally i didn't know any of his music that's why i'm having i'm such a fan now because i'm rediscovering all the music and
Starting point is 00:54:35 i've been asking have you guys heard jesus walks stronger, like literally that's what I... That's her joke. She goes, I just turned 33. I'm Jesus's age. Have you heard the song Jesus Walks? Yeah. Also, didn't you just like get into weed? Yeah, I just started. Hilarious. You're 33 years old and you're just like,
Starting point is 00:54:56 man, there's... Have you guys heard Kanye West or smoked marijuana? It's working out so well though we're all so happy about it that's so funny I'm partying man I'm so
Starting point is 00:55:13 I'm like I'm like post I'm post weed you are? what do you mean? I was like I was super into weed like
Starting point is 00:55:20 when I was 10 years younger than you but now I don't know it's i don't know smoking both i mean i kind of i will like i like those five milligram camino gummies yeah those are nice that's like a nice high but the but like i don't like smoking weed esther's like asleep in museum well she would be
Starting point is 00:55:46 asleep in a museum if she was high or not but Esther like will be like walking sleeping she takes so much she'll be like
Starting point is 00:55:53 that is a little bit of an exaggeration not really George and Carlos were there is that how you would describe it yes
Starting point is 00:56:00 you gotta try Esther you gotta try ketamine why it's great it's awesome yeah why what does it do it's like a really pleasant dissociative experience like you dissociate just enough it's relaxing she's been judging me because i got an ulcer from doing too
Starting point is 00:56:17 much i was never judging you for it was i was in love with it i thought it was so much fun you know you know about you know about cocaine and what people call doing cocaine and ketamine? What is it? Uh, people in like the party gay community, they call it Calvin Klein. Why?
Starting point is 00:56:34 I don't know. Cause CK, Calvin Klein. I'd call it, pull that dick out. I call it, I call it Louis CK. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:41 That's so funny. And we all got to. Yeah, we all got, I have been saying, I was setting myself up to do that. But he didn't say it fast enough everybody else i didn't say it you got i've been saying this you got i've been saying this for months i was clearly that happened my friend that happened my friend the other day where i like said something to her
Starting point is 00:56:58 and then um and then later i was like i said it again and she was like i love that and i was like you should use it and she's like i made it up and she was like i love that and i was like you should use it and she's like i made it up and i was like oh no do you ever have those with your friends we're like i don't care who made everything up i don't care yeah please lord take it lord take it yeah it's just weird in comedy because we're all a little bit of hacks and then everyone if you if you accuse someone of stealing your joke you gotta really know they stole because that can be really embarrassing one time i was able to google image a a joke of my own like there was like a meme i was like oh it's so embarrassing you know what
Starting point is 00:57:32 happened one time uh recently was i i told i told a joke i told it twice and the first time i told it it was another comic was like oh oh, I actually just wrote it. I wrote a joke just like that. And I always have just written it. You're like, oh, that's weird. And just right. I was on stage. But then it was like, no, it was like not.
Starting point is 00:57:55 I don't know if I have a joke that's similar to somebody else's. I would mention it. I just do it faster. But I just get it. Yeah. If I have like the same joke as somebody else, I would say something. Wow, how would you say that? What would you say, though?
Starting point is 00:58:07 That does not happen a lot. Have you ever had that happen? Have you? Oh, no. This is where Annie tells me I stole her whole act. That's not my act. I've tried to get her to steal my act i've begged you to take jokes um oh i was i was gonna say i i did a joke at a at a show where i mean this is it was honestly like kind of a hack
Starting point is 00:58:35 joke i think because it was right after the right after britney was free and i was like oh how it would be really funny if she just immediately shot a guy you know and like i great joke um but i did that at some joke some show at like union hall and uh there was like a couple in the front that like the the joke got a laugh from the crowd but there was a couple in the front and one of them was like oh my god we were just talking about that and i was like like like the couple was saying that they were just making that joke to each other that day and then i was like i was like i'm not doing that again you know what that's a topical joke and i feel like that happens like that's not that big and that's like i think that that's why it's like
Starting point is 00:59:21 best to like stay away from topical stuff because it's too easy to run into. It's also like there's no longevity in it. It's fun. This is my one strength as a comic. I'm going to flex it. I'm so obsessed with myself that I would never consider topical jokes like I'm it's all about. Oh, I thought you're going to say jokes. I would never.
Starting point is 00:59:42 Wait, do you guys watch you for you? Yeah, I do. It's a lot of stuff happening this season. Oh, this last episode was good. I didn't see the recent one. Oh, you're going to like it. But yeah, I mean, first episode out the gate when Fez beats up. He's the best character.
Starting point is 00:59:59 Frickin' Nate Jacobs. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's something I tweeted in 2019. It's from knowyourmeme.com. Well, yeah. Now, Euphoria High School has become a meme, but I tweeted...
Starting point is 01:00:11 Whoa. I made the joke about Euphoria High School years ago. Yeah. But this happens. This has happened a few times. It says,
Starting point is 01:00:19 Hey, what's up, guys? I'm the new kid here at Euphoria High School. Why are all the lights purple? Why don't any of the kids here do homework? You know, this is a 2019 joke. Euphoria High School. Why are all the lights purple? Why don't any of the kids here do homework? You know, this was a 2019 joke. This was first season.
Starting point is 01:00:28 Why is everyone dressed like Esther Povitsky? And now everybody's making Euphoria High School jokes on there. Yeah. I just got scared that I said it like Christina's last name. No, but those are similar. Pazitsky is her. Justin Martindale brought me up on stage the other night, and he said that I was the lunch lady on Euphoria.
Starting point is 01:00:44 And I was like, he nailed it. He cast me so well. He is good. Oh, my God. So well cast. I was. Oh, I did. I did audition like several times for the new season.
Starting point is 01:00:54 You did? Obviously, I did not get it. If I was your agent. No, if I was your agent, I would be doing the exact same thing. Gotta get him on the show. Like I was. I was really. I thought.
Starting point is 01:01:04 I was like, maybe. Let's just say you'd be in nail polish. Yeah. Let's just say you'd be in nail polish. They'd be painting my goddamn nails. But I will say there was like that one... The first episode, the first episode of the new season,
Starting point is 01:01:20 it's that scene where like Maddie's banging on the bathroom door, right? Yeah. And she meets that guy, right? She meets a guy who's like a big black guy on the show. And he's played by Young Meech, I believe. But I auditioned for that. And I remember once I actually watched the show and saw...
Starting point is 01:01:44 I thought that I really nailed the audition. And then I watched the show and it's like a big black guy. It's the greatest thing that could happen. And I was like, why would you? It was mean for you to make me audition for that. No, but here's the thing. When you when I was like. When I was someone that's so different.
Starting point is 01:01:58 It was always going to be that guy. Then you don't you can the blames off you. They just wanted a different type. They weren't sure. Yeah. But yeah, I've had that too where it's like. Like, why did you they just wanted a different type they weren't sure yeah but i yeah i've had that too where it's like like why'd you why'd i even i can't there's certain shows i like i have to wait a full season before i can watch them because i'm like i'm still salty i didn't
Starting point is 01:02:14 get the part i know that feeling like yeah how's doll face doll face is coming out or it's out by now i'm so i'm really excited yeah You look cute and all the things they make, they kind of like upped your regular game. I feel like, do you feel that way too? I'm struggling right now with, I was, I'm just going to be completely honest. I was heavier when we filmed for health reasons and I'm now less heavy. And so it's every time i see the promo all i think about is like that i look should you just like ask for them to do reshoots yes now yeah we only just
Starting point is 01:02:52 reshoot my part you'll have power in hollywood when you can do that when you're like listen blur the background we'll cgi me back in we'll green screen it i just feel like now i've i've done my worst fear i've manifested my worst fear. I've manifested my worst fear, which is drawing attention to my weight fluctuations on camera. This is my gift to the world. If you guys want to have fun with all the ups and downs of my weight. Well, that's the problem. If you're podcasting, you're putting it all out there all the time.
Starting point is 01:03:20 You can't be an elusive podcaster. That was an interesting time for you to spread your legs like that. Oh, yeah. You're kind of just putting it all out there, you know? Well, have you ever watched Schultz's, Andrew Schultz's podcast? It's at Crouch Level.
Starting point is 01:03:30 Oh no. It's so funny. Wait, what? His like, the cameras are like at his dick. He's like this. It's so crazy.
Starting point is 01:03:37 I'm like, oh my God, like you have to really squish it down. He does it like that. It's always like, his penis is like touching the camera. He's like this. Oh yeah. I'm like, I guess I like it like that. It's always like his penis is like touching the camera. He's like this. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:45 I'm like, I guess I like it down here. I do feel powerful. Does he have two podcasts? He has Flagrant 2, which I don't know why it's called 2. Is there two Flagrants? Because the other guy. With Akash? Yes.
Starting point is 01:03:59 Singh? Then he has one with Charlemagne. Andrew is such a sweet guy. I think I met him at Montreal years ago. It's funny because I feel like his online thing now is he's a tough guy. He's controversial, but I just think of him as such a sweet guy. Yeah, he is really nice. Oh, Charlemagne.
Starting point is 01:04:21 You were working on the codes. Yeah, and I did Breakfast Club when I went to go do it. It wasagne, did you, you were working with, on the Codes. Yeah. And I did Breakfast Club when I went to go do, it was so fun. Oh, you did? Yeah. I watched that. It was really good. Oh, wait, you were on the Breakfast Club like recently?
Starting point is 01:04:34 Yeah. I got to watch this. I want to go again. I want to go again. That was so cool because I recently discovered Kanye West, this new artist. And some of his greatest interviews were on Breakfast Club, as I am now teaching you about. Soulja Boy has the best ones.
Starting point is 01:04:50 Oh, really? It's the number one. Soulja Boy has the best Breakfast Club videos. And Tekashi69. Okay. Yeah. Oh, Kalilah looks like him. Yeah, mine was not controversial or anything.
Starting point is 01:05:00 I hope to go on and up my... No, I watched yours. I was watching Kanye over and over, No I watched yours I was like watching Kanye Over and over and then I saw you And it was the day I came out with a cowboy hat I had a black cowboy hat and sunglasses The Vogue cover Came out with Beyonce
Starting point is 01:05:16 In a black cowboy hat and I was like I mean am I not a trendsetter Look at that But it was someone said I looked like I was on Rock of Love. Or not Rock of Love. What was the one? Yeah, Rock of Love.
Starting point is 01:05:29 As the male lead. That's what I saw on my screen. As the slashes making me laugh. I think my favorite Breakfast Club moment is when Hillary Clinton said she has a hot sauce in her bag. Wait, what? That was awesome. Everyone embarrassed. I was like, I was happy to be like a white person that didn't.
Starting point is 01:05:49 That was an awesome moment when she said, yeah, I keep hot sauce in my bag. In my bag. I, you know. Did you see the ad for, there's a master class. It's like Hillary Clinton's like, it's like all black and white and it's Hillary Clinton. Or maybe it's like just dark tones.
Starting point is 01:06:07 And she's like, she's like, here's the speech I was going to read. And she's like about to cry. Oh boy. And then she goes, I'll read the full speech on masterclass.com. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:17 I'm like, this is like, did you get hacked Mitch? Did you just get hacked? Because this is crazy. I'm signing up for that. What's the class? How to be a fucking loser?
Starting point is 01:06:25 It's so embarrassing to still be crying about it she's still crying it's crazy the most embarrassing thing was the glass ceiling that they had a glass ceiling on the thing that was dark brutal when they like they were ready to just like I just want to say that I really want a female president
Starting point is 01:06:41 well who's it gonna be it shouldn't be her it shouldn't be her. It shouldn't be her. I'm going to go out and let them say this. I do not pay attention to politics at all. I don't. I just will not.
Starting point is 01:06:52 I'm done. I was a big, big Bernie guy. Yeah, that's right. I have a beautiful Bernie poster in my office. Love him. Your office? Are you a fucking idiot for saying that in front of me? You're off. You fucking stupid idiot. you know the room i'm talking your office your trash where you sleep on the couch her office is a
Starting point is 01:07:13 garbage den what the fuck are you talking about you stupid it is true that when i first got my new couch in my office that i was so excited about it i slept on it for like three months that's dave was like what's going on i yeah i mean there's something about sleeping on your own couch falling asleep on your own couch i love it i think it's hormone there's i i have like a mythical feeling around that like i just think that's the coolest thing is someone who falls asleep on their couch i have like a romantic view of it really i've no i will beg dave i'll be like dave let's do sleepover in the living room tonight and he's like no i can't move my mask oh it's so sad we gotta get him a rolly one what's your deal what's like the whole thing with you and sleepovers i i i've only seen snippets of this but i i saw like
Starting point is 01:08:02 one clip where you're like guys i keep saying we need to do a sleepover episode i grew up like having sleepovers all the time and i just love them so much that's what she called sleeping on a parent's floor i also had it like well there's i feel like a lot of whatever just i love sleepovers yeah yeah they're nice well rick glassman thinks you stole it from him i i know oh what's what's rick glassman's deal with sleepover he did i can't remember what it was he did like a sleepover episode of his podcast and then i was like oh we were gonna do that too he accused you of stealing it when you named your your no if he did that that's mentally ill i think he did it but we'll have to have him on to find out.
Starting point is 01:08:45 Controversy. Rick Glassman, you're going down. Brandon, how are you feeling right now? Do you feel like you've been violated, attacked? I love it. This was fun. I love it. Do you feel safe and comfortable? Or do you feel like the two women are?
Starting point is 01:08:59 Oh, yeah. I feel very at. I'll do Rogan hours. Oh my God. Isn't it? Have you ever done it? You've done Rogan? I've not received the Rogan bump yet.
Starting point is 01:09:11 It is... What if it was a bump? What if every time you went, he gave you a bump or something? People who are angry online, they're just like showing off how fucked up their own life is. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:22 It's like not about online. Are you talking about my angry rant? It is embarrassing to post true anger, but I did think it came out funny, so I did post it anyway. Well, yesterday I went through something that really rocked my world. Oh, please do tell.
Starting point is 01:09:38 We'll talk about it another time, but I really wanted to get angry online. Wait, can I ask a question? Was it directed at you? Something that happened to me in a business thing that someone said to me, and I was like, this is it. I've never done this, but I'm going to tell the world.
Starting point is 01:09:59 And I just was like, you know what? I actually was texting with Carlos about it. He was like, don't like an app that's past its prime twitter to like also don't listen to carlos that's not bad advice don't go crazy on twitter what is it we're trying to get a hit here all right do you want us to have a good show or not we need a twitter controversy should we did you have you shown feet on the program no you're not going oh i forgot about our um oh yeah what we have hits we have hits everything about us tell us we okay so we got in the little rivalry over the feet pixelation about where who started it oh it wasn't really
Starting point is 01:10:40 us which now it's other people have run away with it that it's like, that it's like not even, I don't even want it. It's gross. It's gross. At this point, I'm just literally doing it cause I'll do it till I die. Cause I promised I would. Yeah. But we both were pixelating our feet.
Starting point is 01:10:52 Yeah. And then people, it wasn't us coming after each other, but we both were a little cocky about maybe we were the ones. But then, but yeah, like there were people in your comments saying, Oh,
Starting point is 01:11:02 Brandon did that. And then I think it just shows that we were the ogs we really weren't we started it but yeah eventually then everybody is doing it now to where that's and that is like the thing with the internet is that like if you start something and then everybody ends up doing it then you just seem even if you're the one that created yeah you seem like that a dinosaur you created that you seem as unoriginal as everybody else how do you combat that?
Starting point is 01:11:29 that's why I guess just like yeah exactly I mean that's why that's kind of why I don't use it it's like a little bit what's going on right now? I mean it's just I'm just putting the i'm just putting the the video
Starting point is 01:11:46 to to to work but my my wiki feet comments are so funny because people are so mad at me that i pixelate my feet they're like how dare you she's making a mockery of the community i'm like but why are you entitled to my feet i didn't know you were jerking off to them so i had them out if i know you're jerking off them i don't want to put them out until I'm ready for someone to jerk off to them. And you haven't put them out? I've never put them out. Oh, to this day. I was thinking I would do it for, I always say I'll do it for a million dollars and quarters.
Starting point is 01:12:14 If someone wants to buy the quarters. I'm holding out for the big pay. So annoying. We're going to have to do that at some point. Did we get the count quarters? I met him. He came to the comedy store last week. Oh, that's great. And I was thinking about, no, I was literally
Starting point is 01:12:29 thinking about, Brad Williams was there and he was like, take your shoes off and sneak behind him. And we'll take a picture. And I was like, it's funny, but I also just want to listen to everything he's saying. He was being so funny. What was he doing at the comedy store? He was like, we used to get down here. I was like, oh my God, he's so crazy. Was he there to see someone? He was there because he'd watched the comedy store documentary so many times and I was in it and he wasn get down here. I was like, oh my God, he's so crazy. Was he there to see someone?
Starting point is 01:12:47 He was there because he'd watched the Comedy Store documentary so many times. And I was in it and he wasn't recognizing me. I was getting so pissed. I was like, hey, you saw the documentary. He kept bringing it up. I was like, did you like the fourth episode? It was a cute one. And he was like, I remember you. I'm like, not enough.
Starting point is 01:12:57 I need more. And then he was hanging out and he was being so like, he was just being the ultimate. Because he's like so eccentric and like kind of crazy. But he was so funny and so like animated and loud there was just like a group of people were all just like staring at him people were just like filming him like these guys just had like he was fine with it i was like why are you fine with this fine with that i couldn't believe it i was like i would never i didn't want to take my shoes off behind him by the way carlos your hair was a hit i know everyone loved it you do look it's like it is fun it gives you like clown vibes like
Starting point is 01:13:26 like brandon said oh wow oh yeah no it's shocking it's like amazing everyone loves it though you do look like you look like an nft oh my god all right we're making one nft i will draw i will draw a shot of this i will draw today i'm gonna get back into my Twitter so I can push NFTs. I asked you on Twitter to retweet it. Guys, hey, any NFT Twitter, please. Alright, you guys have seen enough.
Starting point is 01:13:55 This is disappointing. This is chintzy. Come to his show. He needs it, guys. Come support his act. Next time he comes back, he needs to have $400. Also, yeah, have $400 also yeah but still yeah but still is my podcast can you try this on I think we're gonna do videos
Starting point is 01:14:10 check out Brandon's podcast go see him live come see me and Annie live this show is over it's been over for a while yeah but you're still here watching you have a problem just kidding we love you you guys we love you 200k subscribers please Just kidding. We love you. You guys were trying to get to 200K subscribers. Please hit the subscribe button if you haven't yet.
Starting point is 01:14:29 We're really late on our due date for hitting 200K. These babies are overdue. We're at like 118K. That's nice. I think it's 119.

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