Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - China Milf in Kentucky w/ Jiaoying Summers

Episode Date: April 11, 2023

Thank you to our Sponsors: Nutrafol - Go to https://nutrafol.com and enter promo code TRASH to save $10 off your first month’s subscription + free shippingRocket Money - Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the easy way by going to https://rocketmoney.com/trashtuesday More Jiaoying SummersTiger Milf Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@JiaoyingSummersInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/jiaoyingsummers/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jiaoyingsummersTour dates: https://www.jiaoyingsummers.com/ Subscribe! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtonsOfficial Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8XTrash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday 0:00 Jiaoying Summers Joins Us3:29 Chinese Men & Strong Women9:06 Brutally Honest Asian Moms12:33 Fetishizing Asians16:40 Colorism & Asian Hate in Asia20:16 Beauty Pageants & Our Role Play Fantasies26:14 China’s One Child Policy & Daughters vs Sons34:25 Jiaoying Summers’ Mom39:05 Eye Surgeries & Skin Bleaching for a More “Desired” Look46:50 Jiaoying Summers’ Move to America & Stand Up Comedy Journey1:02:44 Jiaoying Summers Dating as a Single Mom1:05:37 If Jiaoying Summers and Esther Swapped Families Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 My Pleasure - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/my-pleasure/id1494518220 AnnieWood - https://www.youtube.com/annielederman Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Pete Forthun & Carlos Herrera

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Wait, really? That's so epic. Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the easy way. Go to rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday. That's rocketmoney.com slash trash tuesday that's rocket money.com slash trash tuesday you guys you can grow thicker healthier hair and support our show go to neutrophil.com and enter code trash to save ten dollars off your first month's subscription get ten dollars off at

neutrophil.com spelled n-u-t-r-a-f-o-l.com promo code trash. Free shipping on every order. Offer available to U.S. customers for a limited time. Hi, slugs. I'm doing stand-up comedy, and I will be in Miami, Boston, New York, and a bunch of other places. You can get tickets at EstherOnIce.com. Hello, sluggies. Welcome to this episode of Trash Tuesday. And also, I am here on the set of Annie Wood, my new solo podcast.

We have 20 episodes down. We've had amazing guests. It's been so fun. The show is growing. It's special. It's unique. And I think you guys will like it. So check it out if you haven't already.

It's every Thursday at 9 a.m. Pacific Time, noon Eastern. We love you. So come see us. You can also see me live. I will be in Toronto, April 21st and 22nd. I'll be in Raleigh, North Carolina, May 12th and 13th. If you came out to my shows in Greensboro, you're going to want to come to Raleigh too. It's going to be a different vibe. Those were wild ones. I'll be in Baltimore at Magoobies, June 2nd and 3rd. I'll be in Salt Lake City, Utah, Wise Guys Club, June 9th and 10th. And then I'll be in Calgary with the Great Outdoors Comedy

Festival with Andrew Schultz August 27th. A lot more dates are being added. So go to Annie Letterman dot com slash shows. Enjoy the show. You guys, welcome to another episode of trash tuesday i'm sweating because i think this is the first time i've been this late ever well we so yes today was crazy we are recording this at a special time because we had to get this queen in here oh thank you for having me you guys are the queen thank you for being here. You guys are the queen. Thank you for being here. You're a hilarious stand-up comedian. You're so funny on Instagram.

On TikTok. And then, wait, hang on. We'll talk about it in a sec. But everybody, it's Zhao Ying Summers. Wow. That's my name. And you said it perfectly. I'm glad you said it.

Zhao Ying Summers. Thank you. It's not that hard. Yeah, it's not hard but it's how is the j pronounced though is it

more like a softer like a jiao like a jiao like a jiao like a

jiao reverse like a jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao

jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao

jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao

jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao

jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao

jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao

jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao

jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao

jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao jiao, jiao, jiao, jiao, jiao, jiao, jiao, j, j, j, j, j, j, j Yeah. Most people can't sing it. Thank you for doing this. I'm so happy to be here. I love your show. I'm just,

my assistant's screaming. She's a huge fan. She's screaming right now. She's a white girl. She's screaming. I love that you said two husbands left you because I really relate to that.

I've never had a husband, but men do leave me often. Yeah, they just, they leave because they realize the real me is not something they want. It's take, sometimes take a few weeks, sometimes it takes years, but they eventually get it.

Some other one leave, like on Tuesday. Well, how long did each last? Well, the first one, he, we are college sweethearts. It lasts like seven, six, seven years because mainly we were not living together. So he didn't really see who I am. That's a big thing. When you live together with someone, that's when it all comes out. Yeah, yeah. So my second husband is the comedy thing, that he can't

let me do comedy. He won't let me. He's a man from Shanghai. That's why when people tell me, stop Asian hate, I'm like, not all of them. You have to hate a Shanghainese man. They need all the hate. They they suck they are cheap and disgusting yeah wait wait a second my my first real boy that i was like obsessed with um was a taiwanese boy i swear to god if he asked me to marry him today I still would but I found him to be

like just the fucking greatest guy like even to this day I look at his Instagram I'm like fuck yeah the Chinese the Shanghainese

the mainland China or Taiwanese Hong Kong guy they are taught to basically to spoil women like a woman

is always right that's the vibe if you believe in women's rights you also have to believe women's always right that's the vibe if you believe in woman's rights you also have to believe woman's always right together in China which is

I think it's the same with the Jewish boys right you have nice tits thank you so much oh my god

you are like a Japanese porn star with the face of an angel and body of a devil thank you she really is

I always say she's like a 12 year old Japanese boy but with big tits Yeah she's like an anime Yeah A little anime

Japanese porn star And she's so petite But she's so curvy Like she has a big butt Oh my god And her waist is this But she's got like a Should we all get naked

And kiss? We should You're like You're like a very A young Scott Johansson Like Right? Yes Same body type Thank you Yeah a young sky johansson like right yes same body type yeah a young one

same face too young in high school husband oh my god yes i can cook i can i can i don't clean but i can cook i i tend to date jewish guys um i think that they usually have a really good relationship with their mom. And that just helps. I think that makes them like more loving partners. Could that go the other direction too though? Where it's like now. They won't fuck your mom? No, where it's like mommy did everything for me.

So now I want you to do everything for me. Yeah. In fact, there's so many Jewish. I think if you're a tall Jewish guy, you're vile. Like those are the worst. There's some that come to mind. I won't say their names. But yes, I think some Jewish men are absolutely horrible.

And they just think that every woman belongs to them. And it's a mess. So you do. Are there bad Chinese men? Oh, yeah. My ex. Yeah. it's a mess so you do are there bad Chinese men oh my yeah my ex yeah they just it's

while they they can like when we met you'll be like he was like I want you to you know pursue your dream

I want to be supportive and then he's just going to slowly try to make you feel crazy for wanting a career it's a slow burn

it's like slowly slowly slowly yeah he just sounds like a con man slowly he just sounds like a con man

because he just basically appeared one way in the beginning I feel like also those kind of men like they always want a strong woman

to break her down they don't want to break down Amber from Starbucks they want a woman like Chris Brown he want Rihanna like

then you like that's just like the power to be with a woman who's strong and then you start gaslighting her. Having talent is bad. Because, I mean, it's not a game unless she is something big to break. I think so.

Because, yeah, you're right. If it's Sweet Amber from Starbucks, the game will last one day. It's too boring. It's not challenging. It's not challenging. Yeah not challenging yeah no this is real i've literally heard confirmed that like a guy like didn't like that the girl he was with was happy because he was jealous so he tried to make her not happy jesus christ isn't that fucking sick that is sick like this stuff is real it's

not in our heads we're not yeah the worst thing we can do to somebody as a woman is to be happy about our body and who we are

that pisses off people so much like when imagine I'm like I love my skin color I really love it I think my husband just had a heart attack

he's like what did you say like it's just crazy if we love ourselves yeah and they'll try to like yeah a lot will like knock you down yeah they hate it yeah see i don't have that issue with dave but i think that's because he knows that i'm never going anywhere so he doesn't have to knock me down

to keep me he's just like esther has never broken up with a boy she's always been the dumpy are you the same well they they do awful things for me to say that i want to leave but basically they're done with me you know what i'm saying like yes they play the game like they are done done with me and they're like don't leave but don't talk to me for months i'm like so i have to like oh are we done yeah they trick you and yeah they trick you to be like for me to to be the bad person they're like oh it's done

but I know it's been it's been done for a while yeah are you currently single I am seeing somebody

but I'm just trying to focus on my career because the career don't leave you I mean I don't have a career yet but I think

you do are you kidding thank you my mom says that I was wearing this she's like you look like a glazed but I think you do are you kidding thank you my mom says that I was wearing this she's like you look like a glazed donut I'm like

what she's like oh I'm just kidding you're a fat but you're not sweet you're not a donut it's bad

like the racism like Asian haters start from my house my maid my maid she's an Asian Chinese woman I was working in bed.

She's like, your face look very yellow. I said, because I'm Chinese? She's like, no, no, no, it's yellow. You look tired. I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, you look, you are aging. I'm like, what do you want? She's like, you are drinking chicken soup right now.

I said, I don't want chicken soup. She's like, wow, you don't have a choice. Your husband left you. You are not drinking chicken soup. You are going to get weaker and older. And you can't get any, you can't even pay my pay me anymore so you have to eat the chicken soup i said thank you she's like i wouldn't wear yellow i'm like this is a bastard which i could don't wear that it's you look so yellow because yellow is like in chinese culture

it's like your face look yellow you look tired well in like white people culture it's just jaundice right yeah yeah like liver failure yeah liver liver food or hepatitis one of one of the liver function but um it's bad what is that though like is that just an asian thing like we're so hard on each other like i'm filipino and it's like you know that right it's it they're cruel it's like what did my niece just got a haircut and it was a really cute haircut, but she did it at home. And my mom comes over and the first thing she says is like, like, you look horrid.

Like, you look so bad. Why did you do that? And my niece is 21 and I talked to my mom. I was like, you can't talk to her like that. She's like, yeah, I can. I was like, it looks bad. So I'm going to tell her it looks bad. I was like, but fuck, like, what is this need for us to be so like cruel especially if you're like in

the same family yeah i i think it's it's very natural i i was going to my mom doesn't think i made anything happen in my life and uh but when i'm spending money that's she she'll try to sweet talk me out of it i was was going to see my therapist. I said, it's 2 p.m. I'm going to go. She said, what do you do? I said, we talk. And my mom said, how much money she pay you? I'm like, what?

She's like, my daughter have too many followers and people pay her to talk to her. I'm like, no, I have followers and people pay me? Yeah, yeah. How much they pay? I said, no, mom, I pay her. She goes, no, you can talk to me for free. I said, mom, you're the reason why I need she goes no you can talk to me for free i said mom you're the reason why i need therapy i can't talk to you anymore i would really fit in i love being treated like

shit i love when people tell me i look bad like i like honesty i don't want you guys but it's not even honesty it's almost like they're just trying to us like verbally assault you as a hobby. I just think in Asian culture they still believe in being very very humble and like it's an attractive future for women. That's why I feel like they learned to do that to us so we are not like I'm the best. We're not like being like

I look good. Because in Asia that's very unattractive. For a woman to be a strong woman. To be, to feel herself. Yeah. Like it's very likeractive right it's like to like a to be a strong woman to be to to feel herself yeah like it's very like great it's even sexy and cute if a girl is like meek and shy yes and not and and is kind of like tentative yes and afraid okay i have a question is it a red flag if a white guy is like coming for either of you? Like, do you feel like, oh, my God, I'm just a fetish. They just want like a submissive.

I don't like it. I don't mind if a guy dates me like a white guy, say, for instance. I don't like it when he's like, you know, I only date brown girls like you. Then it's like, oh, like this is a thing you you're proud of but is kind of like icky at the same time because you're targeting just one and so that's when it becomes a little fetishized yeah and also like some guys they don't talk about it but you look at their ex-girlfriend nine of them are all ladies i'm like who are you woody allen like what why like why why why how do you like suss that out if you're just like a fetish to them or they just want someone subservient because that's like that what the i i feel like if every single girlfriend is chinese there's more than five of them are 90 percent 80 100 chinese i think it's

weird i don't mind it i just i would never i just feel like it's a fetish. And then they would really want you to be, because I'm not behaving like a Chinese girl. I'm the Chinese girl. No Chinese mom, like, wants, you know. Yeah, I'm the bad. I'm like the awful, awful. Like, if a white guy want a Chinese girl and they found me, they'll be like. Oops. Oops.

They'll leave me, like, in the morning. They'll be like, oops. They'll leave me in the morning. They'll be like, I got to go. Okay, this is maybe sketchy and controversial, but is it okay for me to dislike men who only want to date Asian women? I think it's okay. That's called yellow fever. They have yellow fever. All Asia files.

Asia files. I think it's a red flag. I think it's like that they're just want a submissive woman. Like I know this guy who moved to Japan and like started his life over there. And I just and like then when I once went to a dinner with him and he didn't look at me the whole dinner, only looked at the men and only spoke to the men. And I'm like, what is going on? What on what is this is weird right he's a samurai like he became like is he tom cruise when japan become a samurai don't look at women they are dogs just like what the fuck's going on yeah but i'm like i don't i feel like it's not something that's really appropriate to

speak about because i don't want to be like oh i'm it seems like i don't like men who like asian women but i it's there's something going on there i think yeah they're definitely something going they're fetishizing an idea of an asian woman they are not fetishizing zhao ying or me because we are girls who are a little bit we don't conform to the idea they have in their head so it's almost like they fetishize this idea that there is this submissive woman who will be this you know domesticated queen that someone that who's just going to you know be at his beck and call and so that's that i think that most guys that go for asian women have that like fixed in their head like they kind of paint us all with like yes and i'm like

oof big mistake i'm like fucking i'm like a bull you know yeah like also like if i ask you to choke me when you fuck me you don't i'll fucking smash you on the face stop you you don't get out get out i guess like in my 20s i dealt dealt with something similar where people, I never realized it until people brought it up. But like I looked pretty young and dressed pretty young. People were like, oh, Esther, if guys like you, they're pedophiles. And so I, that, you know, I deal with that. I can feel it though, right? Like I would want, like I was going to this guy, like he was like, you look, you're dressing too old, too mature.

I'm like, I'm 33. I'm expired. By Leo, not as standard. Like, I'm done. I'm a can of fish. I'm done.

Like, I'm expired. I'm 33. Like, I'm just, that's it. You know, he want me to wear something

like really young and cute. And I'm like, I'm not cute. I was never cute. I was never cute in China. I was always dressed like a boy, like a boy,

because it's, you are from Asia. You you know colorism is the worst thing ever like the colorism everywhere across the board i would say like but i think in east asia in the philippines people wear bleaching skin right so like yeah what she's saying basically is whitening products are probably one of the biggest selling cosmetic anything over there like and colorism is not just a oh like chinese versus filipino even in the filipino community there's colorism so do you have light-skinned filipinos and dark-skinned filipinos more in like the north let's say for instance who are looked down upon because they have the broader nose they have the certain features that aren't considered like the standard for beauty in Asia.

And what I find even more troubling for me in the Philippines now is that because of like the Korean invasion in the Philippines, now the Korean soft beauty standard is what is praised in the Philippines. And you're like, dude, we're Filipino. Like we're brown skin.

We have our certain set of features, but now everyone is going for that same yeah the soft look and the boys are starting to look softer and softer and you're like what the fuck everyone looks like a fucking k-drama now yes oh my god it is so bad like I was too dark for

East Asia standard I was not allowed to wear dress I said I want the pink dress my sister had my mom like try it I want to go to school and had. My mom was like, try it. I want to go to school and the other kids still rock on me. They were like, go back to Africa.

Oh my God. That's like, let the Asians handle their own hate. We have the Asian hate club is going on strong. Like, you know, and also like in China,

they look down on the Philippines. But not all of them. But I like to address the problems because Asia is not one country we have our problems

and we have to talk about it like you know people get downstreet they think everybody's Chinese they hate Chinese so much so the Koreans

and the Japanese are getting hate go back to China I'm from Japan Japan is in China you know yeah it's bad

it's awful and in the Philippines we have like one of the biggest like Asian migrations really early on was chinese so we call them phil chai and they are usually like wealthy like they're usually of the wealthier families like back home um but yeah it's kind of a crazy thing how if you live in america you don't necessarily know how bad we all hate each other back there. Totally.

And also the Filipino women are the most beautiful because they have the most Miss World. Miss Universe. Seriously. Either they are a nurse at Kaiser or they are Miss Universe. You know, I guess something. But I have a theory about this that...

By world standard, Filipino are the most beautiful people, I feel like. They are the perfect mixture of the West and the West who did what kind of girls do they send to miss universe they're the girls who are half like me yeah when have they really sent like a real there's one venus raw was one of them she was like a dark-skinned filipina girl but that was like the only one yeah all the others have white last names yeah They kind of look half like me. And another thing is, I think one of the reasons that we always win Miss Universe or always in the top five is for ratings. I think whoever is up there knows that the 150 million people, 150 million Filipinos are going to tune into the Miss Universe pageant because we know.

Yeah, we speak English. And another, like, we are so obsessed with pageant culture. And I think they want to keep the viewership up until the top five. And they know Filipinos are going to watch and tune in. So they put the girl, Miss Philippines, always in the top five. That's just the theory I have. I think he's very smart. Oh, my God. She's smart. I know.

Wait, I want to do, can we do like Miss Podcast and have a beauty pageant? What would our talents be? What would you? What would our talent be? I don't think Miss Universe has a talent thing anymore, but yeah, it's just swimsuit and like evening gown.

That's so unfair and sad. It's like we don't even want to let you have any kind of dreams or like just stand there in a bikini. That's all we care about. But Miss USA does. I'll be Miss andpronunciation i think i would tap dance if i was in a beauty pageant but you're a dancer you already have that right yeah but like that's like i could do a monologue or oh that's you're gonna

win what about you well i actually i was in a beauty pageant 2014 as Miss China for this international beauty pageant in LA called the Queen of the Universe and

yeah I have a penis it was just it's a beauty pageant you know like I was wearing a dress and somebody's like this dress is made in China

I'm like this pageant is made in China it's not even a pageant like it's not Miss World like I can wear an apron like i don't care did they have you do talent yeah i didn't have any but um i did try it's more

dancing and in that that thing which i can't do but i can tell jokes but they didn't have that yes there'd be like a girl with wit no thank you shake your titties you're disqualified oh yeah i know it's like a comedy comedy in the 40s. If you are a pretty girl, you just get on stage and you sing. Or you put a rabbit out of the, I don't know, be a citizen of the magician. They don't even expect you to be funny. It's just like not allowed. Kaila, what would your talent be?

I don't know. Like, hey, guys, come, you know, come sit around a swimming pool and watch me swim. Like, that's the only talent I have is like physical, like athleticism. What about like a lap dance? That could be a good. I mean, if you were the judge, yes, because I know I would immediately win. But no, like, I think that I don't have that. I don't have the dance, but nothing. I literally have no talent. That is so... What animal facts? Let me spit some animal facts. Wait, that was not...

Howler monkeys? Yeah, that's all I knew is wildlife trivia. I feel like that actually would be the biggest turn on. It's like a student teacher thing. You're teaching everybody. I don't know. We could try. Sometimes at home we do Professor Dave where Dave teaches me about something.

That's sexy. Yeah. I need to do some foreplay. Wait, what does he teach you though? Like basically if we're having a random conversation and I'm like, no, I don't know anything about that war. And then I'll be like, Professor Dave. And then he'll just like get a little bit more formal and teach me more about it. It's actually not sexual at all well what bobby and i used to do this really sick one of the many sick ones we

used to do but one of them was that i was a refugee from like the philippines and he was the white man saving me he was the tom cruise so you're pocahontas yeah he's like oh and he would like swat the flies from my face. He'd be like, oh, you poor girl. And he's like, you want food? And I'm like, I'm so hungry. And he was like, you want to try this? You know, and he's like, there's calories in them.

I'm like, there are. Give it to me. Oh, my God. That's hot. Yeah. Wait, you know, my ultimate, ultimate roleplay fantasy is like being a jewish girl and like the nazi soldier like saving me to fuck me rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions

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wireless plans. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with plans starting at 15 bucks a month. And all plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. That is such a steal. To get this new customer offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan

for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. So you grew up in China and when did you come to the States?

2009. I came here by myself. How old were you? I was 18. 18. Yes. And were you, what's China's like one child policy now? Now it's good. You can have more kids. But the major problem is like one child policy.

Nobody wants baby girls. You know, there's a gender problem. There's more men. There's less women. So you can be an ugly motherfucker. If a girl, you're ugly as fuck. You have four men chasing you because there's way more men than women. And during when you were born, say, for instance, and they still had like the one child policy at that time.

Yeah. Like, would they like just dump the girls? I don't, I don't like when Americans tell me they just put a baby girl in the dumpster. I'm like,

fuck you. They also put them in the railway, okay? It's like, you can't just assume things. Like,

that's what they do. There's other things too. But like, it's bad. Yeah. People want, I know you are Filipino. They want want boys.

They always want. Carry the family, carry whatever. And then when there's only one child is allowed, they want that child to be a boy. If it was born a girl, if that baby never existed, you can have one more baby.

Oh, okay. Hopefully it's a boy. It's your first one. Yeah. Because you have to continue the lineage. Because the first baby, the girl that died at birth i see like really yeah for my joke i see like the one child policy you know that's um penis only that's also called the michael jackson policy baby boys only so so when i was born my father asked my mom would she live

my mom said i think she will if you just bring her back from the dumpster so it's like will she live yeah yeah i mean like they just it's dark and talking about it got me a lot of trouble like i got canceled on tiktok i i heard about that so you hit one over 1 million followers and then you got de-platformed. Yeah. My username is Gong. It doesn't exist. That's fucking... Why?

Because it's political. Well, you talked about the one child policy, basically. And her jokes basically became viral. And they were like... Because China is owned by... I'm sorry. TikTok is owned by China. And so there was just this idea that which I found

interesting because they censored you and then they put you back on but then in a limited way but in a limited way still right yeah yeah I don't I'm not getting the views I mean I'm not getting the followers and views I used to have yeah so yeah it's they are monitoring me they were like this this bitch. Yeah, she's. That's, so I think the same thing happened with Chelsea Lin with Instagram because once she hit a million followers,

she got deplatformed or that deplatformed. They took her thing down. And then when she got it back up, it's almost like they have an extra eye on her because even like the most minor offenses, they'll take her post down almost immediately. Even if it's almost like they have an extra eye on her because even like the most minor offenses they'll take her post down almost immediately even if it's like a nothing thing so i think they just have extra eyes on you it's fucked up yeah no so does that mean that you're an only child uh i my mom want a boy so bad she kept trying i have a younger sister and younger brother she

kept two girls she lost her house and her job and everything. But she's like, I'll be okay. Wait, so she was allowed to have more than one? Well, you are, but they are going to fine you so much

that it's going to be the price of your house. You get fired from your job. And even your relatives who's like your sisters and brothers who has, who,

like you are my sister. You decide to have one more baby. and i'm also getting fired because i related to you so it's just that the pressure financial pressure is just like you can't you only have one baby that's so high risk yeah you have a girl but some people they keep their girl you know it's fine but it just people want a boy they just want a boy yeah that's like all across the board in like all cultures. Yeah. How about in American culture? Well, I know my dad wanted a son because he told me.

But yeah, I don't think, I don't, I don't know. It doesn't feel that prominent, especially now. It feels like all of the culture talks about it's like guys are like the kind of the problem in our society yeah i'm not saying that other people are professor scott galloway yeah um but i i feel like now don't you think in american culture people want to have girls i certainly do like if i think about having a child and if i could pick and choose like i absolutely like love the idea of raising a daughter yeah i think maybe it makes me nervous like big boy energy makes me nervous but i've always wanted a girl but only because i just like want a best friend

but it seems like that actually for the mom it's's better to have a boy. You have a better bond with your son is the rumors out there. Yeah, I think so. My daughter don't even look at me. She don't give me eye contact. My son just like, my mommy is so beautiful and funny. My mommy is so beautiful. My daughter just look at me. She show her eyes.

I'm like, mom, what's going on with my daughter? My mom said, I'm going to die someday. And I don't want you to miss me. So I'm training her to hate you. Wait, but I recently read this article that they called it like the heartbreak of, I don't know what the article was called, but it's basically the heartbreak of having sons. And like you have a very like finite time with your son because when you, they're very close to you in the beginning. They become a mama's boy.

But boys don't come back home and become friends with their mom. Girls, we always keep really close relationships with their mom. So this is a woman who talks about just having the heartbreak of knowing that her son will just like kind of never be like around as much anymore. That sounds so hard actually. It it's hard it's also very true it is so true because the wife would be the the priority of the man like that's which is good but yeah that sounds really challenging like sometimes when i see pictures of dave when he was little i'm like oh my god he's so cute like i and i feel like the love of his mom i'm like i can feel what she must feel towards him and then it makes me like want to love him

more because i'm like i have to do it for her like that's her little baby so beautiful so beautiful but also most of the time i'm like really mean so that's good it's not that beautiful yeah you need to get a warm and hot i i feel like in chinese culture we say that the daughter is um the lover of the father from the past life and the son is the lover from the mom from the past life i think it really makes sense that's a creepy but also it makes sense creepy because you didn't work out it's like it didn't work out it's a love it didn't work out. It's love your life, but you never end up together. So now you have a chance to have another relationship that's also the closest. But it's not sexual.

It's not lovers. But it's in a different dynamic. You can love each other in a different way. Yeah, I mean, it makes sense. It makes sense. But I just would hate to think that my my dad was you know my ex lover you know what i mean yeah because in my past life right that would that would be it right and then and your your dad would be a lover in your past life wait you were nodding earlier like yap yap

no i'm i'm like i'm lost i'm lost i don't want to know but it's better than no sometimes i just go away and it's good it's dissociating it's very it's both unhealthy and healthy at the same time how about like i wanted to have like i'm like why is this my son not lebron james like why is wait how many kids do you have i have two i didn't learn from my mistakes um one boy one girl yeah my son and my daughter my boy's four my daughter is two James. Wait, how many kids do you have? I have two. I didn't learn from my mistakes. One boy, one girl? Yeah, my son and my daughter. My boy is four, my daughter is two.

Really? Yes, she's very cute. So you're like, you're in the thick of it. Yeah, I didn't learn. I have two kids and I have custody and I'm a single mom. My mother moved from China to America to help me raise the kids after my divorce because I have to do stand-up. I want to do it. And I need my mom. You know, I can't.

My maid, she's going to sell my son. Yeah, she'll make my daughter her slave working in the basement, but she'll sell my son. So I know that. To Michael Jackson. So I just, I need my mom. And, you know, mom and daughter, she would do anything for me.

Well, she tell me fat and ugly, but she would do anything for me. Your mom? Yeah, she would tell me the truth. I want to be a comedian. She's like, honey,

I don't know. Because not all ugly people are funny. It's just, she's making me dumplings, you know. I don't know what to say that's the same and also you know yeah it's that's exactly it it's like the the duality of having a parent

that like um expresses love not in like a verbal way like my mom she will come over and clean like there isn't anything she wouldn't do for me but fuck does she not give it up like she's never like god you're pretty god i love you god let me hug you like none of that but the necessary things that need to be done she gets done and she's happy to so it's like it's so conflicting in my heart because i'm like do you love me do you hate me is it both yeah if we are mean to the man that's you know we don't have a choice blame my mom for that you know i just realized i think i have an asian fetish for asian moms because i love the way your mom talks to you and whenever i've hung out with olivia munn's mom

she's so mean and i'm just like oh my god can your mom come everywhere with us? It's so much fun. I love it. Like, that's my comfort. I don't know. It's so mean it becomes funny. Yeah. It's so good. It's become funny.

I just, I started just like, when my mom said something, I said, mom, I'll pay you for this joke. It's like my mom when my ex-boyfriend is a short, slightly chubby Korean man, but very cute. But she goes, she's like, my Bobby will be like, hey ma, Bobby, you look like a ball,

a bowling ball, but without the holes. Like just straight up. Like that's the first thing she says to him. And then he starts to cry laughing and he like loves, he loves being roasted by my mom. Like they're like thick as thieves.

That's amazing. Is that what you want? Yes, that's exactly what I want. He loves being roasted by my mom. Like they're like thick as thieves. That's amazing. Is that what you want? Yes, that's exactly what I want. Will your mom make me dinner tonight? She will, but she's going to call you like a dumb slut at the same time. You know that's good. That's what I'm looking for.

Oh my God, my mom. They should meet. My mom and your mom. They should verbally abuse her together and spoil her together too. Would you not like absolutely love that? Yeah, that's exactly what I'm looking for in life. And I don't know why, but that's like it's hitting something. My mom is, yeah.

I was running tracks when I was like seven years old. Because in China, big lips is ugly. Like it's disgusting. They think tiny lips are pretty. So I was running tracks. My friend, she fell. We both fell. And she broke her nose. And I didn't broke anything. lips are pretty. So I was running tracks. My friend, she fell. We both fell. And she broke her nose.

And I didn't broke anything. I was just like, I'm so flexible. My mom's like, yeah, because your lip touched the ground first. She just didn't even blink. She just, I'm like, oh. So do you like, so does your mom live with you? Yeah. And do you like that?

That seems nice. It's because I don't need to try to find out when I come home and when the babysitter is coming. Like, she's there full time. I have my maid who abuses me with her together. They just work together. They were like, I want to eat that rice. I'm like, is my husband back? Like, who is this?

Who is this person? Like, they are just so together on me. And I'm just sleeping. And I work. I work so hard. So they're just like, they don't bug me as much but they'll say something like i'm like i think i like this hat you know this little braid they're like i wouldn't wear that i'm like why because your face is an asian pacific face and then do you ever like do what if you like have a guy like what how do you what do you... They just...

I remember my mom. I had a boyfriend come over. She likes him. She thinks he's very cute. She's making a pig in a duck. I'm like, ooh. Is he Chinese? Is he an Asian guy?

He's a white guy who speaks some Chinese. So my mom's making a pig in a duck. I'm like, mom, you never do that. Do you love him so much? Do you think it's going to work out? She's like, mom's making the picking duck. I'm like, Mom, you never do that. Do you love him so much? Do you think it's going to work out? She's like, I just want him, you know, when he leaves you, he remembers the food is good. Oh, yeah. That's a point of pride, I think.

Yeah, when he leaves you, he remembers the food is good. Wait, so you came here when you were 18? I'm hungry. This is why the pinball is on. Sorry. Did you say 18? Inches? Can I move in with you?

I just feel like it would be fun to live there. Oh my god, yes, please. My mom is going to love you because she always wants me to become a wet girl. Bleach your skin. Make your eyes bigger. Like when I was 17, you were getting double eyelid surgery.

I'm like, why? You want the surgery or you want no husband? I'm like, no husband sounds good to me. Wait, did you get the double eyelid? I had one is double, one is single. My mom said, let's fix that. want no husband i'm like no husband sounds good to me wait did you get the double eyelid i had one is a double one is a single my mom said let's fix that fix it it's already let's just make sure it's less problem so we uh we did this one but this one become too big so then i fixed that one again so technically i i but it's like very slightly it's not big i didn't try to look

uh filipino i i just want want to still look like an Asian person. Well, it's kind of crazy sometimes because I have friends who get the double eyelids surgery and they end up looking cross-eyed because it kind of opens it a little too much. Yes. They want to be as big as it can. They want to be Westernized.

You want to be Westerner and they want to also put the things in your nose to be taller. A bridge. They add the bridge. A bridge. So my mom wants you. She wants me to become you become you if I look like you she'll be so happy also cuz your face is not like you are literally the anime princess face like jaw ball bones to have v-shaped face v-shaped face you have

v-shaped face you are getting the penis the dicks and money everything you have this fish you are you're, you are getting nothing. So like my big cheeks, my like jagged like jawline is not cute in Asia. You are Filipino Angela Jolie. Thank you. Even Angie, they were like,

why her lips too big? She should use concealer to cover those ugly lips. I'm like, mama, use concealer to cover your lips. You have two dumplings glued together on your lips wait this is so crazy so i i've never gotten any work done but i have explored all of my options and i recently went in for a consultation because i thought that like there were some celebrities that were getting this eye surgery that was like making their eyes look more open the bluff yes and i went in and basically the doctor was like like i paid i paid 500 to get this consultation and he's like i don't understand he's like if i did that surgery on you you wouldn't be able to close your eyes. And I realized I think I was going in for a surgery that's for Asian women.

Possibly. But I think with the bleph, what they want to achieve these girls, what I'm seeing is like not just the opening of the eye, but they want a slight kind of like fox eye. And I think that's such a mistake because when people have like what I call sunshine eyes and downturn it makes them look so much sweeter and more like yeah it's like a um ultra hepper right yeah like a the almond eye yeah yeah like it's just so innocent i just left there and was like i can't believe how stupid and desperate i am to be like other people that i went in for a surgery that makes no sense you guys are are perfect. Also, literally,

your eyes are perfect. Yeah, Esther, you have gorgeous, like big gorgeous eyes. Me? You have the older eye and I just.

Maybe I'll take my banana today. Feeling good. But isn't that such a weird thing? Like you, like the beauty standards are so drastically different. Like you,

like I watched this show called Singles Inferno and it's like a Korean dating show. And there's always one girl, like, okay, most of the girls are very cute, sweet, soft, angelic looking, but there's always one girl who's like beautiful by American standards.

Like she has like curves, body, lips, slightly tanner, and the guys never choose her. And I always think to my head, God, if she wasn't in an American show, she would be the number one. Yeah, that was me. I had a boyfriend in middle school, and he were always me because he's like,

oh, your skin's too dark. I can't tell my friends you're my girlfriend. Shut up. I said, tell them I'm your boyfriend. I go, I don't know my friends you're my boyfriend, you're my girlfriend. Shut up. I said, tell them I'm your boyfriend. They go, I don't know. Like, why would you leave me?

Wait, did that like mess you up? It does mess me up. I was trying, I tried to use the skin bleach product in the summer. I tried to use the bleach

to shave my skin so I can look whiter because my mom said you should wear long sleeve. I was like, you can't wear pink. You should cover up the ugliness

because, I mean, she's not wrong because if I don't cover up, people are like, oh, you can't wear pink. You should cover up the ugliness. Because she's not wrong because if I don't cover up, people are like, oh, you are too dark to wear any color. So I was so afraid to wear pink, wear bright color. It's just being dark in China. It's just awful. It's also, it's actually IUD. If you are dark in China, you won't

be getting pregnant. Nobody's gonna touch you. It's disgusting. It's awful. And now I love my skin now. So I think a lot of Asian girls look at me and look at how confident I am. They're just like, oh my God, I can be a dark Asian girl

and still feel pretty. It's just so important because I had this job opportunity in China for this TV show. I played the lead actress. She's from America. She went back to take over her family's business

speak English they are giving me the IV treatment to bleach my skin like you you have the chemical get into your veins get into blood

and make your skin lighter you have to lose 40 pounds 30 pounds maybe but your face is too big so we're gonna do the haircut like this

and curl it inside so it covers your face you have V shape like Asher so you can look pretty and then they're like but you have you have to do the bleaching because i'm like she's from she went to america for 10 years she's american chinese like how about she she's like a beyonce j-lo tan they're like you are like like like you know girls black girls they are gorgeous tan but asian girl is ugly when you are tan so they were like you can girls black girls they are gorgeous but an Asian girl is ugly when you are 10 so they were like

you can't you are not convincing as a leading lady you can be the sad bitch because you are so dark fuck so I try to bleach my skin

I just can't do it I'm like I'll be a fraud I'll be a skinny bleached asshole fraud all the Chinese girls they look at me they're like oh

I have to lose 40 pounds and bleach myself to be Jiao Ying Summers I'm like no so I quit a job I just left I came back to the open back here oh, I have to lose 40 pounds and bleach myself to be Jiao Ying Summers. I'm like, no. So I quit the job. I just left.

I came back to the open back here. So if I don't make it in comedy, fuck you guys. I can be a bleach asshole, okay? Okay, the world is so confusing because here you guys are like, and obviously that's like a lot of people know that like talking about like,

you know, it's better to have lighter skin, whatever. Literally my whole childhood, I was so fucking ashamed of being pale i was so insecure i was made fun of oh my god have you ever been in the sun like you're gothic it's just it doesn't matter like you can be anything and still be an ugly ass bitch to somebody yeah yes yeah so it's like if you feel like an ugly ass bitch on this side of the world go to the other side of the world yes it's a location you are not hot yeah

you are hot every somewhere yeah you are hot somewhere yes wait i love that we are hot somewhere just change the location get a passport it's so true and it's a trial and error thing the next place you go they might be like we don don't want you either. And then keep moving. Keep moving. Go full circle. It's so true. Yeah, it's so true. What a revelation. It's five o'clock somewhere.

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first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply statement mobile for details oh my god so you came here when you were 18 alone by myself I got on the plane I went to Kentucky

you know Kentucky what yeah people don't get wait I have a question yeah so you were just

a young girl in China and you were like you looked at a map in America and you were like Kentucky that sounds about right

yeah nobody lies about going to Kentucky you know that was the best of us like I in China and you were like, you looked at a map in America and you were like, Kentucky, that sounds about right. Yeah, nobody lies about going to Kentucky, you know. That was the best of us. I just, my mother finally agreed for me to come to America. I want to do acting in China and the teacher won't let me on stage. She's like, you're a tree stump. You can play

the brown family goat. You can't be Alice in Wonderland. You can be the brown family goat like you can't you can't you can't be Alice in Wonderland you can be the tree stump she sit down so I was like you know

like the tree stump she sit on my back I really want to be actress and then I start watching you know Hollywood movies Halle Berry is gorgeous she's a star

like we have beautiful dark woman obviously everybody think they are hot why can't I be pretty I want to come to America. And my mom's like, you can apply for your own school.

So I applied for 40 schools. I got my first offer from Kentucky. You need a visa? Yeah. Offer to get your visa. I'm like, I'm going to go from China to Kentucky and go Kentucky to Manhattan. I mean, flashing.

I mean, somewhere in New York. So I just thought, I'm going to America. I just don't want her changing her mind. So I just want Kentucky. So you went to school'm going to America. I just don't want her changing her mind. So I just want Kentucky. So you went to school in Kentucky. Yeah.

And you moved to the East Coast first? Actually, I came to California in Los Angeles in 2013. Okay. Yeah, after school, I came here. That is so interesting.

What was your experience as obviously like a Chinese immigrant in Kentucky? To be honest honest the racist people towards me were a chinese guy like there's like a big wet karen lady but like mainly the people are so nice in kentucky they're like oh can you talk i'm like i'm not a sex doll yeah you're exotic i'm like honey I'm not exotic

I'm made in China everything's made in China your underwear is made in China you are exotic you are 400 pounds you're from Kentucky honey relax

I'm everywhere there's more of me than all of you like all the white guys I think there's more Chinese women than all white guys yeah for sure

yeah I'm like I'm not exotic but they were just nice people they just they are curious like you can talk you can move for sure. Yeah, I'm like, I'm not exotic, but they were just nice people. They just, they are curious. Like, you can talk, you can move, your pussy's not sideways.

I'm like, what is sideways? Like, my eyes? Like, I don't, but they are, when they ask me stupid things, like, they don't mean any harm, you know.

They're like, please don't eat my dog. I'm like, they were nice, but I had eat my dog. They were nice, but I had this guy who I was working in this Japanese restaurant. Like when you don't have

a green card, you know, you have to work the shitty jobs. I was working in this Japanese restaurant. The owner is Chinese and he's like

very bad to me. I'm like, we are the only two Chinese person in Kentucky. Like, you don't have to be bad. He's like,

I want a Sunday shift. He's like, if you eat my spring roll, you have a Sunday shift. god i can really i'm like are you kidding me i know exactly what you're talking about when my mom first um worked here or when we first moved here she had to work under the table as like a caretaker and she had filipino bosses and i'm telling you guys like she made if let's suppose minimum wage was $7, then they probably paid her like two bucks an hour. And she took it because she was like, you know, it's, you know, like, I have to take the job, I have to save money. But it's almost the people who, who are familiar to you who are going to maybe like use you in the worst way. Oh my God. That is.

I'm not sure. It's so true. It's like Candace Owens trying to speak on behalf of black people. She's Karen in blackface, right? I'm like, are you kidding me? You don't represent black people. Shut the fuck up, bitch.

I'm so tired of that bitch. She is just so dumb. Yeah. Like that is my takeaway. Whenever I see a tired of that bitch She Is just so Dumb Yeah Like that is my takeaway Whenever I see a clip of her I'm like You're not smart bro

Like you're stupid I see everything as Like in the same way I see Miss Universe Putting the Philippines in They're gorgeous But it's always a money play I always just think

It's a money play Yeah she's acting Acting A role Yeah she's acting I think so too I think everything is a money play. Yeah, she's acting. Yeah. Acting. A role. Yeah, she's acting. I think so too. I think everything is a money play.

It's like, you know, canceled comedians, they'll go completely right. You know, be like. They lean into. They lean into like the conservative ideals now. And, but that's still, all of it is just a money play. Yeah. But don't you have to like sort of believe that and be it a little bit? I don't know.

Like, I know what you're saying. So it's like if you say it enough, it's like you can almost believe the own lies you tell. Yeah. So maybe there's a part of her that's like so fucking warped because she's had to regurgitate so much bullshit for a long time that she becomes it and really believes it. So maybe. But yeah, she does. Whenever I see her speak, it feels like a bad acting kind of thing yeah like I'm pretending

to be like this I don't know I don't know but her makeup is good it is pretty good yeah she's not ugly I'll say that she knows

she's a gorgie girl she knows Conjurer and Penny okay so I'm asking these questions I hate when people like so when did you start stand up all of these things but like I think your story is like incredibly interesting because like truly like it's hard enough to do stand up it's another thing to have like an accent barrier and all of the things that come with like English not being like your first like language, right? It's so tough.

Yeah. I have to say moving to LA by myself from Chicago at 21 was terrifying and scary and like life altering. But you came from a different country that's fucking crazy it's hard so hard is it i i just uh i believe in myself uh i feel like coming here uh having my accent it just helped me to to be me and uh help girls who look like me to be like fuck all of you that's what i'm trying to yeah stand up is just but like was there ever like did you ever second guess yourself like you came here in 2013 so that was a whole 10 years ago i failed in acting i would say mainly because my accent my acting was

great i went to howard fine i was very well-trained actress i i got audition i got callback is my accent they don't want it. Like, like a fresh of the boat. Like, they would have Constance Wu. She's from fucking Virginia. I'm fresh of the boat.

They want somebody who are, who have a white accent who can put on a fake Chinese accent. They don't want that real fake, like, they want a real accent.

Right, but no shade to Constance Wu, but like, I think that if we were to have stayed true to the book that Eddie Wong wrote, you would have been the one cast.

Yeah. And also, I like Constance Wu, but when people tell me I look like her, I'm like, just please say I look like Lucy Liu, please. If you want to tell me I look like somebody, make sure she's way hotter than me. Were you just like scared or would you just say you were really just motivated? You didn't have time. I said, we'll figure it out. How can I make it? This is me. Love you. Long time accident is not going to go away. just like scared or would you just say you were really just motivated you didn't have time to figure it out how can i make it this is me love you long a long time accent is not going to go

away so what do i do like who should i fuck to the middle like then i realized that oh i was at the audition there's nothing sexual about this one john singleton saw me auditioning for his tv show uh rebel is is is a role called it's a Chinese girl she's a sidekick her name is Karma I got I got called back I got very far

but I remember like I forgot the line I started improvising he started laughing so hard and he walked over to me he's like

you should do stand up you'll be a star while he's playing Ali Wong's Baby Cobra especially on his iPhone he's like you should you are gonna be a star he's I was like he just poked me he's like Ali Wang's Baby Cobra special on his iPhone you should you are gonna be a

star he's I said you just poked me he's like you are gonna be a star I'm like do I have the role now he's

like hell no you're from San Francisco girl no what do you mean he's like go to open mic oh wow

and then you just did it he got my number I'm like I cried I'm like that's it I failed I didn't go like I cried I'm like that's it I failed I didn't want to go to China

and I got offered for this show to be a bleached asshole I'm like I can't bleach my skin so I came back I'm like let's find a rich husband

and let's go back to LA and do stand up so I just came here and I started doing my open mic I found out there's no stage time for anybody

I'm like oh let me buy a club so I bought a club on Melrose you did? yeah it's like one of the 60 stage time for anybody. I'm like, oh, let me buy a club. So I bought a club on Melrose. You did? Yeah. It's like one of the 60,

60 hot places to do comedy in LA. It's on Melrose. Covinga is in Rushmont. I bought a club like in days four, I don't know, like it's first month

doing stuff. There's not enough time for me to get better. So I bought a club. I've been doing 10 hours a day every day. Then the pandemic came. I'm like, I me to get better. So I bought a club. I've been doing 10 hours a day, every day. Then the pandemic came. I'm like,

I need to be good. What do I do? So I sold my Birkin bags to pay the rent and then I just started telling my jokes on TikTok while vomiting because I was pregnant

with my daughter. I'm like, let me get in one daughter because this one year I can't be not productive. Holy shit. Whoa. So I got a daughter,

I got a club and I got many followers and then fuck okay so recap you went to audition he liked you

but he didn't want to give you the role because of your accent he said do stand up and you said holy shit there aren't any open mics

there's no stage time so you bought a club yeah I'm arrows cause the Hollywood comedy and you still have it oh yeah

it's packed oh yeah it's packed every day it's so busy I just I need to

I'm like I'm being the Chinese here okay how do I get better I want to be better

at it you know like get on stage every day as long as you can

I'm like I have to wait for three hours for them to pull the fucking

drink from like the tickets it's like it's bullshit when you are nobody there's no. When you are nobody, there's no stage for you.

I'm buying my own stage. I bought it like in one week and I bought it in one week and I have my contractor fixed up and took him a week and a half. If I hired a Chinese, it'll be fast. It was a Taiwanese guy.

So you can't, because Taiwanese guy, you can't say like, hurry up. You know, you're so slow. You think we belong to you I don't want to be

Political about everything I was like I wish I had My Chinese man He'll be like Try to hurry up Yeah And all the while

I imagine you just Kept it pushing Even throughout pregnancy You were like I'm nauseous But I'm gonna do 10 hours I realized

My marriage wasn't working And marrying a rich guy Wasn't it for me To just stay home Wait was he rich? He was so rich That it's disgusting I don't have his money

I'm I need a Xanax But freedom is worth it Yeah Yeah yeah yeah There's like It's kind of like It's like

Money helps it does money money can make you happier but it doesn't prevent you from being sad and sometimes you get the big sads and there's no amount of money you can throw on that at all and certainly not even from like a freaking like a partner especially it's so hard he didn't want me to do it. We fight every day. One night I go out to do the open mic and I come home, you know, conservative Chinese man from Shanghai. I come home at 1130. He's like, do you know what kind of woman come home with their boots and makeup and

perfumes? The prostitutes and the whores. Jesus. I can't believe you are saying this to me. I'm the mother of your children. Like I'm your wife. Okay. I'm not a whore because they make me. I'm the mother of your children. Like, I'm your wife, okay?

I'm not a whore because they make money. I pay $5 for open mic. You know, we would be, if I was a whore, I will be doing well, you know? Like, I would make it. Financially free. Financially, I'll own OnlyFans. Like, I would be good. But it's just like, you want to do this, you just have to be good at it.

And you also have to sell tickets. So I said, I'm going to become famous on the internet. I'm going to share my jokes there. I just keep, I post four times a day, every day. Even though I was hugging the toilet, throwing up because of the baby. I was posting in my delivering room. I'm like, push, push, push. Wait, let me post this one. Okay. was posing in my delivering room I'm like push push push

wait let me pose this one okay I'll crush my leg until I push it I mean push this one so I'm like I have to make it I have to

because I know we are gonna end end up at a divorce and I know like he's gonna punish me not give me any money and I need to find out how do I

how do I be on my own I also I want the kids so I want to be able to pay for everything so I'm just like I have on my own I also I want the kids so I want to be able to pay for everything so I'm just like I have no plan B

I mean I didn't take any so I don't I have to make it there's a better one than plan B anyways yeah I have to make it for Julie's supporters

it's a new morning after pill or being a female comedian nobody's gonna fuck you yeah yeah the morning after pill yeah

tell me about it. She's just assuming I'm getting late. She's thinking I'm hot. We just always like to remind people because we know that like the morning after pill is so sad when you have to buy it and it's like locked up in a cage. And like, so that's why we like this brand Julie because they make it feel like it's just normal and hot

it's a hot girl purchase oh I want some yeah it's like a purple box with like pink typography and you're like hey

I love that it's like it's okay to be a slut yes yes sluts are I love sluts me too I don't like

there's a thing in Chinese culture we call green tea whore wait what green tea whore also green tea whore they are like they are sluts like us

but they were like I would never suck a dick when you can smell a dick from like six feet away I would never wear that that's just like too much like I would never green tea whore is also known

in America as Meghan Markle but it's just the word oh she's an example of a green tea whore yeah I think she's out of her league obviously she worst oh she's an example of a green tea whore yeah I think she's out of her league

obviously she's beautiful she's smart just tell me you love attention god damn it don't say you want a private life

you don't yeah I think so I think she got shot to the moon way too fast in such a short amount of time yeah

and that's too much for I think anybody no matter how big your aspirations for fame are I think that no matter how big your aspirations for fame are I think that level of people just following you

yeah is like a detriment to your mental health people always just tell me I'm racist because I don't like her I'm like I'm not racist we are the same people

attention seeking whores I know what she's up to like if you don't believe me I'll ask you one simple question guys like if Harry wasn't a prince

he works like okay let's just like Home Depot Home Depot yeah he looks like a manager there

clueless always high on bandage so it's like would Meghan marry him would Meghan marry would pretty fucking

the actress Meghan marry Bob Ginger wait Zhao Ying, do you still have any Birkin bags left? I have a few left. Yeah, I have a dozen.

Wow. Yeah, I sold a lot at the real, real. I don't hate broke people. I really don't. Because I was broke. I had no money when I come here. Work hard. You can make money.

If you want a good pussy, go to work. Be smart. Make money. Because that's, it's easy. I came here with no green card. Nothing.

I just, I was cleaning old lady's ass because that's the craggiest job you can get. Yeah. Caretaker. Yeah. My mom didn't give me anything. People always tell me,

how do you know? They took it to the dumpster. I said, they tell me. They were like, are you sure when? I'm like, when I got A- in school, they were like, I did not bring it back from the dumpster for A-. Like, that's every day. A-, it might as well be a fucking F. Yeah, just go.

But I just think that, like, when I look at you, I'm like, you're just a life strategist. You have a plan and nothing will get in your way. And that's so fucking inspiring. I also wanted to tell the single mom with kids. The kids can't stop you. They make you better. They are your angels. Mainly my son.

But what I'm saying is like we let society define like you have children that's the end of your career that's over it's over it's over it's not we can make it not

you know it's I feel like you can do anything you want if I can do it you can do it better than me I have nothing yeah

that's what I've always been scared of it's like you know the idea that like even though like I'm gonna enjoy my child and love my child there's always that feeling that um there is a certain like liberty that you have to kind of let go of you know like you can you can still be a whore but you just can't be obvious about it you know yeah yeah low-key whore it has to be

low-key the opposite of green tea whore yeah yeah you have to be low-key and i understand like i'm a single mom you know if i'm meeting you for a date i will be fucking you so you better fax your std result to my office wait do you tell guys on my way to the dinner like i didn't know it before i arrived at dinner because he's like there's something there's herpes i'll cancel i'll leave okay so this is what i i i've been trying to ask people like for me my policy has always been if i know we're gonna hook up immediately like i ask for the test yes and i think that some people find that a little bit bit too like jarring and kind of unsexy but like i just won't fuck you otherwise like how do you esther what are your thoughts i think that's hot of you i think it's like assertive and almost dominant in a way and confident to ask for that like i think that's

a that would like turn me on if someone asks yeah we're both turned on that's a rihanna rihanna move rihanna move okay so it's not like off-putting then because like that's just always been it's so important though like i hate condoms like i need to make me too i if i'm fucking you you better be clean that's very yeah if you're gonna be coming in my asshole like it better you know it better be pristine but also i wanted to ask you like when you go on dates with men um do you tell them right out the gate like hey i'm a mom like and i'm a devoted mom and i have a two-year-old and a four-year-old yeah and i know i think it's working better if i am they like going on dates with a single dad because they i want that single dad to at least have custody or half it's not like that i want him to be present

to the child so he understand how hard it is to raise a child and how important when i put my kids at a priority he didn't freak out like a little pussy so I also like let's also schedule a play date because my son is f***ed as f*** make sure there's no little Karen like let's just make sure

they are okay so after the play date I'll be f***ing you wait is there an app for just single parents I met my date in the Chinese dating app MMO

that's also the Jewish dating app yeah Jewish Chinese like the oh my god there should be a movie about Jewish Chinese we should be a Jewish Chinese lesbian and getting married.

Wait, why do? Our family, like the big Greek wedding, the big Chinese wedding. Like your mom meeting my mom. We should just order Chinese. You want to eat my daughter too? Why do Jewish people?

It would be so cute, right? The Chinese mom and Jewish mom. Yeah. My daughter is an angel. My daughter is a dirty hoe. know they are the jewish mom loves your daughter the chinese mom thinks their daughter is disgusting you know what not not only are you hot somewhere but you are loved somewhere yeah you know so i think that esther you may not be loved in your household but in her household is gonna love you why can't you be like every morning you hear why can't you be like esther you may not be loved in your household but in her household is gonna love you why can't

you be like every morning you hear why can't you be like esther why can't you be pretty like her she's a movie star what are you you're wearing a star jacket she's gonna say that why can't you be like that's a very chinese thing to say asian thing right why can't you be your cousin it's always a person yeah you know what I would be so jealous of you around my parents because I know that they would find you so funny

and they don't think I'm funny my mom doesn't think I'm funny so we can switch oh my god what a what a

do they do that I know they do like wife swaps do they do children swaps we should do children swap as a movie yeah with the Chinese mom

this is my dream yes and i go to the jewish family yeah and my jewish mom telling me how beautiful i am although i don't have a jewish mom so it's like but my jewish dad will love you yeah maybe too much that's funny yeah i think that um but not like young kids like adults yeah form like broken adults yeah well my dream is to be re-raised by Dave's parents because he's like a normal person

and whenever I go to their house I'm just like I love to pretend that like they're my parents and so cute

that is really cute yeah I always say like yeah they're my new parents now oh that's beautiful oh you guys well this has been swell thank you so much

you are thank you for having us you really fit in with us oh my god this was so fun we love you so much you have like honestly like you're a fucking inspiration you're a badass bitch you're you're just as shiny as your jacket on the inside thank you so much also my asshole is also shiny you're very very smart and funny oh thank you so much it's hard to be funny in a second language yeah that's really fucking hard it's not very easy yeah i i you're very smart i hope so you're fucking nailing it thank you and you're incredible and you please come back and i would love to come back whenever i would come back to mean anything. I can leave my house.

We love you so much. And you guys, thank you so much for listening. And we will see you next week with a brand new episode. Bye. Bye-bye. Zaijian.